When my mother’s health was failing, I was the “bad” sister who lived far away and wasn’t involved. My sister helped my parents. She never asked me to do anything, and I didn’t【C1】___I was widowed, raising kids and working, but that wasn’t really【C2】I kept to weekly calls and short, infrequent visits. I was【C3】___ in my adolescent role as the aloof (超脱的)achiever, defending myself【C4】___my judgmental mother and other family craziness. As always, I turned a deaf ear to my sister’s【C5】about my not being around more- and I didn’t hear her rising desperation. It wasn’t until my mom’s【C6】, watching my dad and sister【C7】to each other and weep, that I got a【C8】___of their long painful experience—and how badly I’d behaved.

My sister was so furious, she【C9】___spoke to me during my father’s last years. To be honest, I’m not a terrible person. So how did I get it so【C10】___?

We hear a lot about the【C11】___of taking care of our graying population. But the big story beneath the surface is the psychological crisis among middle-aged siblings(兄弟姐妹)who are fighting【C12】issues involving their aging parents. According to a new survey, an【C13】43. 5 million adults in the US are looking【C14】an older relative or friend. Of these, 43% said they did not feel they had a【C15】in this role. And although 7 in 10 said another unpaid caregiver had provided help in the past year, only 1 in 10 said the burden was【C16】___equally.

As siblings who are often separated【C17】___and emotionally, we are having to come together to decide such【C18】issues as where Mom and Dad should live and where they should be【C19】“It’s like being put down with your siblings in the center of a nuclear reactor and being told, ’Figure it【C20】___’” says University of Colorado psychologist Sara Honn Quails.

【C15】