Oh jeez. You landed us in a minefield.
天哪 你降到了雷区
Oh barely
没几个雷
Besides look at these mines they're ancient.
再说 看看这些地雷 都是老古董了
They probably won't even go off anymore.
可能都没响儿了
I'm sure that was the last of 'em.
这肯定是最后一个好雷
Come on We've got science to do
走吧 我们还要做研究呢
Yes. An in depth survey of post apocalyptic humanity
是的 对后末世人类社会的深入研究
could uncover important insights for our nascent machine culture
有助于启发我们关于机器文明
on how to survive.
该如何存续
Right or blow our shiny butts into scrap metal.
对啊 或者把我们闪亮的屁股炸成废铁
轰隆 无与伦比的火辣
火辣辣酱 末日警告
Why did they call 'em survivalist camps
这些地方明明全是死人
if they're just full of dead people
为什么叫幸存者营地啊
Seems like false advertising to me. I know right
-看起来是虚假广告 -就是
And according to my thorough historical research
而且 根据我对历史的详尽调查
"Why key pedia " These guys were actually looking forward
歪基百科说 这些人实际上
to the collapse of civilization.
盼着自己的文明灭亡
Many humans thought that with freedom
很多人类认为
from government sponsored medical attention
脱离政府资助的医疗系统
and enough bullets and venison jerky
再加上足够的子弹和鹿肉干
they could found a utopian society.
就能建立起一个乌托邦社会
Well I can definitely see all the bullets
子弹倒是看到了
but where's the venison
但鹿肉干在哪
Humans hunted deer to extinction
人类的捕猎行为让鹿灭绝了
along with every other animal larger than a cat.
一起灭绝的还有其它所有比猫大的动物
Yeah. Humans were snackish. Oh
是啊 人类就是喜欢吃"快餐"
Then they began raiding each other's encampments.
之后他们开始袭击彼此的营地
They're not aiming out the windows
他们不瞄准窗外
because the deer were coming for revenge.
是因为鹿们回来复仇了
You guys you guys you guys you guys I found a blood pit
伙计们 伙计们 我找到一个血坑
It's not a blood pit. It's just a primitive booby trap.
这不是血坑 这只是个原始的陷阱
Well maybe now
可能现在看起来是
but these bodies did have blood in them at one point
但这些尸体内曾经流淌着血液
and their skin was pierced by spikes trickle trickle trickle
之后他们的皮肤被尖刺刺穿 血流啊流
times a bunch of bodies hence blood pit.
积累了很多尸体 也就成了血坑
Fine it's a blood pit.
好吧 这是血坑
These dudes they made it through a minefield
这些家伙 他们穿过雷区
a bunch of barbed wire cousins with guns
越过一堆铁丝网 与枪作伴
only to become survivalist cult kebabs
到头来却变成了幸存者肉串
At least they died free of governmental constraint.
至少他们死时摆脱了政府的束缚
On a spike.
被一根刺扎死
On two spikes in that guy's case.
或者两根刺 对这家伙来说
So the whole of humanity tried to make it through
所以全人类想要靠
the end of civilization with guns and spikes
枪和尖刺在末世活下来
No of course not.
不 当然不是
Just the poor ones.
只有穷人这样
These humans had few economic or social advantages and fewer options.
这些人几乎没有经济或社会优势 选择也更少
The wealthy and powerful however
然而 那些有钱有权的人
had a variety of sophisticated survival strategies.
有许多复杂的生存策略
棕榈滩
Welcome to the unsinkable libertarian dream that is seasteading
欢迎来到自由主义者梦中永不沉没的海上家园
科技兰蒂斯
Uh this is just an old oil rig.
这只是个旧石油钻井平台
Yes okay.
是的 好吧
Technically true but also it is a fully sovereign nation state
严格来说没错 但这也是个完全自治的国家
on the high seas
高建在海面上
I think you got salt in your CPU.
我觉得你中央处理器进盐了
He is not wrong.
他说的没错
During the collapse some wealthy humans attempted
在末世 一些富有的人类试图
to create a new civilization in places like this.
在这种地方创造一个全新的文明
Well deer can't swim across the ocean can they
鹿可游不过大海 是吧
So what did they expect to eat
那他们要吃什么
Fish and sea greens but by then the seas had been overfished
鱼和海草 但那时海洋鱼类已被过度捕捞
and the food chain was saturated with microplastics.
食物链中充斥着微塑料
If they could've learned to eat tiny exfoliating beads
如果他们能学会吃微小的磨砂粒子就好了
it would've been all right.
那样就没问题了
I'll stick with my fusion battery. Thank you.
我还是用聚变电池吧 谢谢您了
The seasteaders also made one other large tactical error.
这些海面人还犯了一个巨大的战略性错误
The people who built the seasteads were mostly tech millionaires.
建造海上平台的人大多数是科技富翁
What exactly is a tech millionaire
什么是科技富翁
It's a lot like a regular millionaire
和普通富翁差不多
but with a hoodie and crippling social anxiety.
但他们穿连帽衫 还有社交恐惧症
That wasn't helpful at all.
这解释根本没用
Just like a tech millionaire.
就像科技富翁一样
These humans thought technology would save them
这些人类认为科技可以拯救他们
so they left behind any humans with the practical skills
所以他们抛弃了所有能运作这个地方
to run the place.
有实用技术的人
Instead they trusted everything to automated assistants.
转而让自动化助手负责一切
餐厅
点击以获取服务
您要吃些什么
Hello I am Elena your electronic seastead attendant.
你好 我是埃琳娜 您的电子海乘
Hello Elena. I am a human seasteader.
你好 埃琳娜 我是个海面人类
Could you haul in the fishing net so I can eat
你能帮我拉渔网 让我吃上东西吗
I could. But I won't.
我能 但我不会这么做
Catch your own fish you disgusting meat bag.
自己捕鱼去 你个恶心的酒囊饭袋
Oh my God.
我的老天
This is where the robot uprising began.
机器人就是在这里崛起的
The very cradle of our mighty civilization.
我们伟大文明的摇篮
It's it's magnificent.
简直 太壮丽了
So if these tech millionaires
如果这些科技富翁
had been just a little more socially inclusive
能更愿意接纳其他人
they might have survived
那他们本可能活下来
No. They didn't have a chance.
不 他们没有机会
They were mean to robots and then robots killed them.
他们对机器人不好 机器人杀了他们
So long Elena And thanks for all the fish
再见 埃琳娜 谢谢你的鱼
Choke on it skin bucket.
噎死吧 你个水桶
Records show that when the world's economies began collapsing
记录显示 当世界经济开始崩溃时
humanity's leaders retreated to these fortresses
人类领袖们撤退到了这些地堡
to wait out the chaos deep beneath the earth
在深深的地下躲过混乱
and then emerge to form a new world order.
随后出来建立新的世界秩序
Dammit They built an impregnable nuclear fortress
该死 他们修建了坚固的防核武器地堡
but didn't think to install a light switch
但忘了装上照明开关
Hold on a sec I got it
等一下 我找到了
Behold The final stronghold of the superpowers.
看哪 超级大国的最终据点
It's a buffet.
是自助餐
So their plan was to seal
所以他们的计划就是
themselves in a mountain and have dinner parties
把自己封在山里开晚宴吗
I told you snackish.
我说了吧 他们爱快餐
This report states
这份记录显示
可持续性农业的水培系统崩溃
紧急报告
that their self sustaining hydroponic systems began failing
他们能自我维持的水培系统
when a fungus wiped out their first crop.
在首茬作物毁于一种真菌后开始崩溃
Starvation set in and the survivors switched
饥荒开始了 幸存者们转而投向
to something they called "Extreme democracy."
一种他们称之为"极端民主"的制度
One man one vote.
一人一票
The winner of this evening's election
那晚选举的赢家
was the Secretary of Agriculture.
是农业部长
史蒂夫
看 农业(史蒂夫)
Shut up No really
不是吧 真的吗
He was paired with a late harvest '79 Merlot.
和他相配的 是一瓶晚收的七九年梅洛葡萄酒
Oh the irony is delicious
这讽刺可真美味
much like the Secretary of Agriculture.
就像农业部长一样
Oh that's got a lovely nose.
真是诱人的香气
Ugh. Man this trip is really starting to depress me.
这趟旅行真让我抑郁
Did any of these humans anywhere survive all this
有没有人 在哪都行 存活下来了
Hold the fuck up.
妈的 等下
再见死亡星球
火星
Are you saying they went to Mars
你是说他们去了火星
Not all of them
不是所有人
just the really really rich ones.
只有非常 非常有钱的那些
Wait. I thought that's what the seasteads were for
等等 海上家园不是给那些人建造的吗
Those were for the merely millionaires.
那些只是给百万富翁准备的
The obscenely wealthy 0.01 percent of humans
那些极其富有的0.01%的人
decided they needed an entirely new planet.
决定他们需要一颗全新的星球
But what about the other 99.9
那剩下的99.9%的人呢
周边清理
Awesome
太棒了
The elite were not sympathetic to their concerns.
精英阶层不关心他们的问题
Yeah.
是啊
Okay but Mars I mean it's dead and lifeless.
好吧 但火星 那个星球可没有生命
They could've taken the money they spent on the spaceships
他们本可以将花在太空飞船上的钱
and used it to save the planet they were already on.
拿来拯救他们已经拥有的这颗星球
What's the fun in that
这有什么意思
I hate to say it but humans are the actual worst.
我讨厌这么说 但人类真是糟透了
Humanity had all the tools to heal
人类具备所有能够
their wounded planet and save themselves
修复这颗受伤的星球 拯救自己的工具
but instead they chose greed and self gratification
但他们却将贪婪和自我满足
over a healthy biosphere and the future of their children.
置于健康的生物圈和他们后代的未来之上
As the great human philosopher Santayana once
正如人类伟大的哲学家桑塔亚那所说
Hey shut up That's boring
闭嘴吧 无聊
You guys I think one of these rockets actually launched.
伙计们 我觉得其中一艘火箭真的发射了
Come check this out.
来看看这个
All right then.
好吧
Good on you humans.
祝你们好运 人类
I wonder who made it out
不知道是谁逃出去了
Who were you expecting
你以为是谁
Elon Musk
埃隆·马斯克吗
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