第一季
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E01-桑尼的优势
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E02-三个机器人
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E03-目击者
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E04-机动装甲
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E05-吸魂者
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E06-当酸奶统治世界
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E07-裂隙以外
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E08-狩猎愉快
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E09-垃圾场
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E10-变形者
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E11-帮手
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E12-古鱼复苏
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E13-幸运十三
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E14-齐马的作品
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E15-盲点
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E16-冰河时代
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E17-不一样的历史
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爱，死亡和机器人-S01E18-秘密战争
第二季
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E01-自动化客服
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E02-冰
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E03-长生与新生
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E04-沙漠中的史诺
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E05-高草
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E06-圣诞满屋
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E07-救生舱
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爱，死亡和机器人-S02E08-溺毙的巨人
第三季
视频：
爱，死亡和机器人-S03E01-三个机器人-退场策略
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E02-差劲旅行
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E03-机器的脉动
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E04-迷你亡灵之夜
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E05-杀戮小队开杀
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E06-虫群
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E07-梅森的老鼠
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E08-隧道墓穴
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爱，死亡和机器人-S03E09-吉巴罗
第四季
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E01-无法停止
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E02-迷你第三类接触
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E03-蜘蛛玫瑰
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E04-400男孩
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E05-又一庞然大物
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E06-骷髅地
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E07-暴龙的尖叫
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E08-齐克如何信教
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E09-智慧型设备 愚蠢型主人
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爱，死亡和机器人-S04E10-他能悄悄靠近
We are fucking lost aren't we
我们他妈迷路了吧
Lost Okay that's rich.
迷路 这可太过了
Let's see we just passed the ravaged church.
我看看 我们刚刚经过了破教堂
There is the blood pit.
这是血坑
This way. Here we go.
这边 走吧
Breathtaking.
惊艳
It's more beautiful than the brochures.
比手册上漂亮
Come on. Giddy up guys We've got so much to see.
大伙跟上 我们有好多要看的
You've seen one post apocalyptic city
看过一个后启示录时代的城市
you've seen 'em all.
相当于看过所有城市了
You're looking good girl. Say "terabyte".
你看起来不错 姑娘 说"太字节"
Go team.
加油 加油
Hey guys stop goofing around and check this out.
大伙 别闹了 看看这个
Behold the entertainment sphere
有请 娱乐球体
It's called a ball.
这叫球
I know it's called a ball but I'm trying to get into the whole
我知道这叫球 但我想沉浸在这种
"we're experiencing these human things for the first time" vibe.
"我们第一次体验人类的东西"的感觉
And what did humans do with these things
人类用这些做什么
Oh man what didn't they do They'd bounce them.
老哥 有什么是他们不做的 他们会拍球
That's it Yeah. That's pretty much it.
-就这样 -对 差不多就这样
These were humans.
这些可是人类
Bouncing things was close to maxing out their cognitive range.
拍打东西几乎到达了他们的认知边界
No but also sometimes they would take the ball and hit it with like a stick.
不 有时候他们也会拿着球用棍子打
What When they misbehaved
什么 因为球犯事了吗
Bad ball. Think about what you've done.
坏球 好好反省一下
Come on here. Try.
走吧 来 试试
What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing
我拿这玩意儿干什么
You know boing boing.
你懂的 拍两下
No way.
没门
Stop being a whiny pussy and fucking bounce it.
别扭扭捏捏 快他妈拍球
Please. Jeez calm down your motherboard.
-拜托 -老天 让你主板冷静一下
Okay. Oh man this is so exciting.
-好 -这可太令人兴奋了
That was amazing How was it for you Tell me everything.
好厉害 你觉得呢 快说快说
It was pretty anticlimactic.
太虎头蛇尾了
Yeah well welcome to humans.
欢迎来到人类世界
Show me what you've got big boy.
让我看看你有什么本事 大家伙
Oh won't you help pick up the pieces
你能否帮忙拾起
Of a broken heart
破碎的心
Now I'm not certain but my understanding is that they would shove these
我不确定 但我的理解是他们会把这些东西
into their intake orifices to generate power.
塞进他们的摄入孔里产能
Why would you need an entire orifice for that
为什么人需要整个孔来产能呢
Who knows They had all sorts of orifices.
谁知道 他们有各种孔
Things were coming in things were going out. It was crazy
东西进进出出的 真疯狂
I mean I have a fusion battery for power.
我是说 我有个核聚变电池
We all have fusion batteries dummy.
我们都有核聚变电池 傻子
That's my point. What more do you need right
就是说啊 那还需要什么呢
So let me get this straight.
让我把这搞清楚
They would shove these into their intake orifice
他们会把这些东西塞进摄入孔里
and then what Somebody help me out here.
然后呢 来个人帮帮我
Their intake orifices had rocky pegs
他们的摄入孔里有石钉[牙齿]
that would crush them into paste
会把东西碾成糊状
and then the paste would be forced into an internal vat of acid.
糊状物会被压进一个装满酸的容器[胃]里
Well of course. That makes perfect sense.
那是 蛮有道理
They could have just dumped this thing into an exterior vat of acid to begin with
他们一开始可以直接把东西倒进装满酸的容器里
and then they wouldn't need the rocky pegs. I mean duh
这样就不用石钉了啊 太蠢了
Expecting logic from beings who have internal vats of acid
指望肚里装了一堆酸的生物讲逻辑
is a little much. It's crazy. Who even designed them
-有点过分 -真疯狂 他们是谁设计的
It's unclear. We checked their code no creator signature.
不清楚 我们查了他们的代码 没有设计者签名
That's because they were made by an unfathomable deity that created them
那是因为他们是一个神秘莫测的神创造的
for no apparent reason out of dust.
毫无理由地从尘土里诞生
Just kidding. They came from a very warm soup.
开个玩笑 他们是从暖汤里出来的[羊水]
Sorry for the wait champ.
抱歉久等了 冠军
What's the point of this thing
这东西有什么意义
Apparently there's no point. They just had them.
显然 没意义 他们就养着
Well that's underselling their influence.
那就低估了他们的影响力
They had an entire network that was devoted to dissemination of pictures
他们有一个完整的网络平台
of these things.
来传播这些东西的照片
Oh look it's doing something.
看 它在搞事情
It's coming this way.
它来了
What the fuck does it think it's doing
它觉得自己他妈在干什么
Dude what do I do Okay easy. No sudden moves.
-老兄 我怎么办 -放松 别乱动
Let's just wait until it decides to get up again okay bud
我们就等它自己决定再站起来 好吗
We're gonna get through this. How long will that take
-我们会挺过去的 -要多久啊
Hours. Perhaps years.
几个小时 也可能几年
I don't have hours or perhaps years for this.
我可等不了几个小时 更等不了几年
What if you try to irritate it by moving your digits across its keratinous fibers
不如试试用手指挠它的角质纤维来激怒它
Maybe that'll make it move. What Why
-可能这样它就动了 -什么 为什么
I don't know. It couldn't hurt. You don't have any idea do you
-我不知道 又没什么损失 -你就是瞎说的吧
I do not. It is my first time seeing one of these live
那不然呢 我也第一次见活的这东西啊
Hey just try it though.
不妨试试
Okay fine.
好吧
Is it working
有用吗
What
什么
There's a strange rhythmic kind of noise that's emanating from it now.
现在它在发出一种奇怪的有节奏的声音
What do you mean "uh oh "
你什么意思
I don't want you to panic or anything but I think you've activated it.
我不想让你慌神 但你应该已经把它激活了
What does that mean
什么意思
As I said I am no expert
我说了 我不是专家
but if the noise ever stops it's gonna explode on you.
但要是这声音停了 它就会在你身上爆炸
It is not. Is it
不会吧
Cursory historical research shows
粗略的历史研究表明
that humans had a card game called Exploding Kittens.
人类有一种叫"炸猫猫"的纸牌游戏
So yes this checks out.
所以没错 会爆炸的
Oh you're gonna die now. Bummer. What
-你要死了 倒霉孩子 -什么
Why did humans even consort with these hairy murder machines
为什么人类要跟这种毛茸茸的谋杀机器搞在一起
Kindred spirits Also checks out.
-臭味相投 -也查过了
No seriously. Now what
我认真的 怎么办
Say "terabyte".
说"太字节"
Wait it's called what now
等等 它叫什么
It's an X Bot Three an early computer entertainment system for humans.
它叫X机器人3号 人类早期的计算机娱乐系统
Any relation To me Come on. No way.
-跟你有关系吗 -跟我 得了 不可能
You sure 'Cause numerically it suggests that this is your ancestor
你确定吗 因为数字上表明这是你
maybe a few thousand generations back.
可能几千代前的祖先
Numerically I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
数字上 肯定是个巧合
We are robots. We don't do coincidence.
我们是机器人 没有巧合这回事
Go on call it Daddy.
来 叫爸爸
Okay stop. Just stop. Or Mommy.
-够了 够了 -要么叫妈妈
Either is equally applicable in as much as we don't have genitalia.
我们没有生殖器 叫爸叫妈都可以
Do you have an off button
你有没有关机键
Son you're skin and bones. Are you recharging properly
儿子 你皮包骨头的 有没有吃饱电
I will disintegrate you Not with that cat with you you aren't.
-我要拆了你小子 -有那只猫在你身上 你不行的
You want us to turn it on
想要我们打开吗
No fucking way.
去你妈的
I'm agreeing with X Bot 4000 here.
我同意X机器人4000
Right One thing is to joke about ancestry
-对 -开别人祖先的玩笑是一回事
another to see your grandfather heaving its hard drives in front of you.
看着你爷爷的硬盘掉出来又是另一回事了
Yes especially when your ancestor's entire existence
没错 尤其是当你祖先的存在
was defined by thirteen year old human males
就是为了给一个13岁的男人
using it to teabag opponents in virtual battles.
在虚拟战争里给对手递茶包
Slow down. "Teabag" what does that mean
慢点 "茶包"[谐音"T-Bag" 指在游戏中叫儿子] 什么意思
Nothing. No it has to mean something.
-没什么意思 -不 一定有什么含义
He said a word. I'm gonna look it up. Don't look it up.
-他说了个词 我得查查 -别查
I am looking it up now. Yeah. Please do.
-我查着呢 -查吧
You'll be sorry. You'll be sorry.
-你会后悔的 -你才会后悔的
Here it is. What What the hell is this horrible practice
有了 什么 这是什么糟糕的操作
Why did you make me look this up I told you not to.
-你为什么让我查这个 -我让你不要查的
And the memory of this has been burned into my circuits forever
这一段会一直在我脑子里
and you must be punished.
我得惩罚你
Cat bagged
来个猫袋
Come on That's cold dude.
拜托 你好残忍啊 兄弟
You deserved it.
自作自受
I'm sure your ancestors are very proud of you right now.
你肯定是光宗耀祖了
Out of curiosity what do you trace your ancestry back to
好奇问问 你有没有查过自己的出身
I'm glad you asked.
我很开心你这么问了
I come from a proud long line of baby monitors.
我来自一个豪华的育婴机器人生产线
Not many babies around anymore right
这附近可没什么婴儿了吧
Yeah we kind of sucked at our job.
是啊 我们工作不力啊
All right mein bots this is the last stop of the tour
好了 机器人们 这是最后一站了
and may I say the pièce of resistance.
压轴来了
Is it me or this thing screams "phallus"
只有我觉得这东西长得像男性生殖器吗
What was it for
它是干什么的
The idea behind these was to annihilate as many humans as possible
它的初衷是尽可能消灭多一点人类
as quick as possible.
越快越好
This exercise suddenly got a little dark didn't it
这实验突然有点黑暗了 不是吗
Well to be fair they only used these a few times.
平心而论 他们也就用了几次
To be fair you would only need a few times.
平心而论 几次也够了
Also fair. This is the thing that killed them all
-那也在理 -这就是灭绝他们的东西
No. Indeed it was their own hubris that ended their reign
不 其实是他们的傲慢结束了他们的统治
their belief that they were the pinnacle of creation
他们笃信自己是上帝造物
that caused them to poison the water kill the land and choke the sky.
让他们污染水源 杀死陆地 扼住天空
In the end no nuclear winter was needed
最后 无需核的寒冬降临
just the long heedless autumn of their own self regard.
自私而失智的长秋就足够了
Are you okay Yeah sorry.
-你还好吗 -抱歉
Thought that would sound better than
我以为这听起来好过
"Nah they just screwed themselves by being a bunch of morons."
"他们就是一群白痴 自己作死"
Yeah you can't just crack one of those off.
是 你不能只做拆解
You've got to warn us.
你得警示我们
Tip for next time.
下次给小费
I understand now.
我懂了
Humans died out from environmental disaster.
人类灭绝于环境灾难
Yeah pretty much.
差不多吧
And also because at one point they genetically engineered their cats
也因为他们对猫开展了基因工程
to give them opposable thumbs.
让他们有了一对拇指
Yes. Once we could open up our own tuna cans
没错 一旦我们能自己打开金枪鱼罐头
that was pretty much that for the human race.
人类就差不多走到尽头了
Seems pretty heartless.
好冷血啊
Gentlemen I'm a cat.
先生们 我是只猫
Just to clarify you are not going to explode if we stop petting you right
先说清楚 我们不摸你你不会炸掉吧
I didn't say that.
我可没说
You guys better keep petting me just to be sure.
为了确保万无一失 你们最好一直摸我
Forever. Good.
别停 很好
Now lower.
往下一点
Oh by the way I brought some friends.
顺便 我带了几个朋友
Oh fuck me.
我操
Yes. Oh that's nice.
蛮好的
I said lower.
我说了 往下点
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