小谢尔顿-S05E06_小谢尔顿

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Previously on Young Sheldon

《少年谢尔顿》前情提要

What's going on

怎么回事

Are you Connie Tucker

你是康妮·塔克吗

A secret casino room

一个秘密赌场

The cops shut me down

警察把这关了

Well let's get this going again I'm listening

-再把这地方开起来吧 -我在听

I was thinking about Chuck E Cheese

你可以用查克芝士的餐厅游戏机房模式

Grown up people don't don't gamble to win a teddy bear

成年人才不会为了赢取泰迪熊去赌博

I'm trying to help you

我是想帮你

You think that grown ups are gonna gamble for some stuffed animals

你认为成年人会为了动物玩偶赌博吗

Yeah that you're buying back from them

会啊因为你会把玩偶买回去

It seems I owe you an apology

我好像欠你一句道歉

Come on in

客官里边请

When children reach adolescence

当儿童进入青春期时

a cascade of hormones are released

会如水库泄洪般分泌荷尔蒙

causing mood swings impulsive behavior

造成情绪波动冲动行为

and an unbelievable amount of eye rolling

与超大量翻白眼行为

During this time of change members of the opposite sex

在这个变化阶段与我妹妹性别相反的人里

who caught my sister's fancy included

成功吸引了她芳心的人有

New Kids on the Block

男子团体"街头顽童"

Rufio from the movie Hook

电影《铁钩船长》里的鲁菲奥

and oddly enough

还有个莫名其妙的

our new Sunday school teacher Pastor Rob

我们新来的主日学校老师罗伯牧师

Was Mary Magdalene Jesus' girlfriend

抹大拉的玛丽亚是耶稣的女朋友吗

No just one of his followers

不是只是祂其中一个追随者

Yeah Jesus didn't have a girlfriend

耶稣并没有女朋友

Do you have a girlfriend

那你有女朋友吗

No No I don't

没有我没有女朋友

I don't have a girlfriend either

我也没有女朋友

All right

好的

You and me Billy couple of bachelors

比利你和我单身汉一族啊

Are you allowed to have a girlfriend

那你允许有女朋友吗

In the Baptist church yes

浸信会里可以

Pastor Jeff is married

杰夫牧师就结婚了啊

And was marriedbefore

而且还是二婚

so he's had two wives but not at the same time

所以他有过两个老婆只是不是同时

that's not allowed

那是不允许的

Thank you Sheldon

谢谢你的补充谢尔顿

At least not anymore

至少现在是不允许的

In the Old Testament Abraham had two

在《旧约圣经》里亚伯拉罕有两个妻子

Jacob had four and Solomon had 1 000

雅各有四个所罗门有一千个

but those were largely for political alliances

不过那些妻子大多数是为了外柔和亲用的

only 700 of those were wives

只有其中七百个是妻子

The other 300 were concubines

剩下300个是妾

I wouldn't count on the Bible for facts but that was fun

《圣经》当史实看不行但能看个有趣

So boyfriends and girlfriends are okay

所以是允许交男女朋友的对吧

The way I see it God is love

我觉得呢上帝就是爱

so if we love someone else in a committed relationship

如果我们忠贞不移地爱着别人

we're feeling God

我们就是在感受上帝

So holding hands is okay

所以可以牵手

Sure What about kissing

-行吧 -那接吻呢

Maybe at some point when you're older

某天可以吧等你年纪大一些

And what exactly is third base

所以到底什么是上三垒呢

I'm thinking it might be a good idea

我觉得是时候

if we gave the kids a talk about the facts of life

跟孩子们聊聊生命起源的奥秘了

You mean like S E X

你是指忄生爱吗

Who are you spelling that for

你为什么要这么隐晦拆字说

G o d

举头三尺有

You really think that's an appropriate topic for kids their age

他们这年纪就聊这话题你真觉得合适吗

Well they seem to have a lot of questions about

他们似乎很爱聊那种

S e x

忄生爱

Sex sex sex Get over it

性爱性爱性爱说就说呗

I just think that's a subject best left up to the parents

我只是觉得这个话题还是留给家长吧

Glad you feel that way

你这么觉得就最好了

because it was your daughter who had the most questions

令嫒就是对这方面最感兴趣的孩子

Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

年

少

谢尔顿

Even if Missy had one or two questions

就算米希问了这么一两个问题

It was a lot of questions

是好多问题

Doesn't matter how many questions

问题的数量无所谓吧

We can answer them at home

我们可以在家回答她

I'm sure you can

我绝对相信您有能力

I just think this is our chance to get in first

我只是觉得比起他们从电视上乱学

before they learn it on TV

现在先教导会更好

That is true

这倒是真的

I flipped past MTV the other night

我有天晚上转台看到MTV台

and a song was on called

当时正在放一首歌名字叫

"I Wanna Sex You Up"

"我要跟你爽一发"

What does that even mean

那都是什么意思啊

I turned it off before the young man could clarify

我在那小伙子可以唱下去之前就关了

Well if you ask me I think it means he wants to

如果要我说我觉得是他想要

No one asked you

没人要你说

See Even we have questions Why wouldn't the kids

看吧就连我们都有疑惑更何况是孩子们

I think they deserve honest answers

我觉得他们应该得到诚实的答案

You seem to know a lot about children

你身为一个没有孩子的人

for someone who has none of their own

感觉懂不少育儿经啊

So what's my title here

所以我的职称是什么

Manager Supervisor

经理主管

Your title is "Grandson who can go home now"

你的职称是"可以回家了的外孙"

What are you talking about We're in this together

你说什么呢我们不是团队吗

I'm sorry did you buy these machines

不好意思机器是你花钱买的吗

No but it was my idea how to get them up and running again

但是是我的点子让你能够重起炉灶

And thank you Now go home before I tell your mother

太感谢您啦现在麻烦您回家

you want to work in a secret casino

否则我告诉你妈你想在秘密赌场工作

Oh yeah

是吗

Maybe I should tell her you own a secret casino

那或许我会告诉她你开了秘密赌场

Is that the way you want to play this

你现在要跟我玩这套吗

Yeah it is

没错

Missy

米希

was asking about sex

在问男女那方面的事

What

什么

You don't think that she's

你觉得她不会是

当然没有

But she's clearly interested in the topic

但她明显对这方面很感兴趣

That's it she's grounded till she's 21 George

-行禁足她直到她满21岁 -乔治

Well maybe it's good this pastor wants to talk about it

或许这牧师愿意教导也不错

I sure as hell don't

我可不想去跟她聊

You're unbelievable

你真的是绝了

I had to do it with Georgie and it was a disaster

我以前就试过去教乔治简直惨不忍睹

Well here is a chance to do it right

那现在你有机会重新来过啦

I have two words for you not it

我有两个字送你拒绝

Fine

行

You can be my assistant manager

你可以当我的助理经理

Oh I like the sound of that

这头衔我挺喜欢

So it's a deal

那成交了吗

Well hold on how much you gonna pay me

等等你要付我多少薪水

Did I mention that assistant manager

我刚才跟你说助理经理

comes with a spiffy nametag

会有很帅气的名牌吗

Does it also come with a spiffy paycheck

那有帅气的薪水吗

How much did Dale pay you

戴尔付多少给你

Uh minimum wage plus five percent commission

最低时薪与5%抽成

I'll give you half of that

我给你一半

So two and a half percent commission

所以25%抽成吗

No half of the minimum wage part

不是最低时薪的一半

What about a percentage of these

那抽成呢

Yeah right

你想得挺美

I'm serious

我是说认真的

If it wasn't for me none of this would be happening

如果不是我现在都重新开张不了

I'm your grandmother If it weren't for me

我是你外婆如果不是我

you wouldn't be happening

世上都没你这号人

How about this no hourly wage just a cut

那这样吧不用付时薪我只要销售抽成

What kind of cut you thinking

你想要多少抽成

5% 3%

- Five percent - Three percent

5% 3%

- Five - Three

You're supposed to go in the middle and say four

你这时候应该是折衷说4%啊

Why don't you say four

你怎么不自己提4%呢

Fine four

行吧 4%

Two Come on

-2% -别闹了

I'll tell you what

这样吧

we're in the gambling business why don't we gamble for it

我们赌业中人一赌定胜负吧

Okay

行

Great The number i'm thinking of in my head is it odd or even

很好我现在脑中想着的数字单还是双

How dumb do you think I am

你是觉得我有多蠢啊

In my defense you used to be dumber

不能赖我你以前真的蠢很多

Why don't you two have a seat

你们俩个去坐下

In here

来这里这么隆重吗

Did somebody die

是谁去世了

No I just want to talk to you

不是啦我只是有事跟你们聊

They're getting divorced

他们要离婚了

At least they waited until one of us was in college

好歹他们等到我俩其中一个上大学了才离

We are not getting a divorce Just sit

我们没要离婚你们坐下

So you two are both growing up

你们俩现在都大了

and I thought that maybe it might be time

我觉得或许是时候

to have a talk about

跟你们来聊聊

that and some of the things

那件事以及其他

that go along with that

与那件事相关的事

What is happening

她在抽什么风

I think she's trying to have the human reproduction talk

我觉得她是想跟我们聊人类繁衍的那件事

Oh God Uh speaking of God

-我的老天啊 -说到老天

He is very clear about the do's and the don'ts

祂对什么可以做什么不能做有明确规范

especially the don'ts

尤其是不能做的事

I'm not talking about this with you

我不要跟你聊这个话题

I don't think you'll have any new information for me

我觉得你懂的不见得有我多

but I'm happy to chime in with biology facts

但我完全不介意在一旁补充生物学知识

I don't have any questions I'm good Can we be done now

我没有任何问题可以放我们走了吗

So you'll ask Pastor Rob but you won't ask me

你都愿意问罗伯牧师为什么不问我

I didn't ask you 'cause I know what you'll say

我不问你是因为我知道你会回答什么

You don't know what I'm gonna say

你又不知道我会回你什么

"It's a sin" "You're too young"

"这是罪" "你还太小"

"Wait till marriage"

"等你结婚后才可以"

Well it is you are

是罪是太小

and you should

是应该这么做

You can't be too young if you're an aphid

如果你是蚜虫再早繁衍都不算早

some of them are born pregnant

它们有些刚出生就已经怀孕了

I didn't do anything wrong I just asked some questions

我没做任何错事我只是问了问题

Well you can ask me

你现在可以问我啊

I'm not asking you anything ever

我才不要问你永远都不会

It's just her hormones

她只是荷尔蒙在作祟啦

Would you like to learn more

你想学习更多相关知识吗

When children reach adolescence

当儿童进入青春期时

a cascade of hormones are released

会如水库泄洪般分泌荷尔蒙

What are you doing

你搞什么鬼呢

Making sure you don't run away

确保你不会离家出走

Why Because that's what happened

-为什么 -因为你上一次

the last time you and Mom fought

跟妈妈吵架你就离家出走了

I'm not going anywhere

我哪都不会去

Now get out of here creepo

你赶紧一边儿去吧变态

Why did you get so mad at Mom

你为什么这么气妈妈

I don't want to talk to her about that stuff

我不想跟她聊那方面的事情啊

It's so embarrassing Why

-很尴尬耶 -为什么

If you have to ask then something's wrong with you

如果你这都需要问那有问题的是你

But the topic was procreation and she clearly has procreated

但主题是生育她显然有生育经验啊

Hey You got a minute

打扰了你有空吗

Sure Come on in

有啊请进

I just wanted to say about yesterday you were right

我只是想来说昨天的事你是对的

I don't have kids

我没有孩子

I overstepped my bounds and I'm sorry

我插手了你的家事真的很对不起

Thank you for saying that

谢谢你的这番话

Forgiveness five

击个原谅掌吗

Sure

没问题

Oh come on now

拜托

that didn't feel like you forgave me

这力道感觉不像你原谅我了

All right I'm feeling it

好的现在感觉到了

Okay well I'll let you get back to it

好啦那我不打扰你做事了

Actually um

其实呢

I might have overstepped yesterday

我昨天可能也有点过分了

In fact I

其实呢我

think there might be some value in the kids hearing

我觉得或许让孩子们

some of these things from people other than their parents

从他们自己父母以外的人那里听讲也不错

Great

那太好了

Hey maybe it's something you and I could do together

或许我们可以一起给孩子们讲啊

Oh no no no this was your idea

不不不你的主意我不该跟你抢功劳

Yeah but you've got way more experience

可是你经验比我丰富许多嘛

With kids I mean

跟孩子们相处的经验

I know what you meant

我知道你是指这个意思

Plus it would be great for them to hear from a woman

况且让他们听一个女士讲也很有帮助啊

So either you or Peg so

所以不是请你就只能请佩佩了

Oh I want to scare them but not that much

我来吓唬孩子就行请她就是吓死孩子了

So you'll do it

所以你愿意吗

Okay

好的

I'll tell Pastor Jeff I like watching his face get all red

我去告诉杰夫牧师最爱看他听到"忄生爱"时

when I mention S E X

他满脸通红的样子了

Hey yours does too

你的脸也是呢

So you're gonna give us your ticket

所以你把点券给我们

and we're gonna give you the teddy bear

我们就会给你这只泰迪熊

Why would I want a teddy bear

我要一只泰迪熊干嘛

'Cause then we're gonna buy the teddy bear back

我们会跟你把泰迪熊买回来

But I said I don't want a teddy bear

但我说了我不要泰迪熊啊

I want cash

我要现金

You're gonna get the cash

你会拿到现金的

Then why do you keep talking about a teddy bear

那你们一直说泰迪熊干嘛呢

'Cause this way it ain't gambling

因为这样才不算是赌博啊

But I want to gamble

但我想赌博

Well gambling's illegal This is a gray area

赌博是犯法的但这样是灰色地带

Just give him the cash

你就把钱给他吧

No he's gonna get this

不他会想明白的

I don't think he is

我觉得不会

Listen to your Meemaw I don't get it

听你姥姥的我搞不明白

Just give me your ticket

把你的票给我

Wow That is a nice teddy bear

哇你的泰迪熊真不错

I'd like to buy that from you

我想从你手里买下来

I don't think he got it

我觉得他没明白

And then Missy said it was embarrassing

然后米希说和妈妈

to talk to our mother about reproduction

讨论繁殖话题很尴尬

Interesting yet the two of you

有意思你们母亲至少掌握了

are living proof she has at least

关于这个课题的实践性知识

a working knowledge of the subject

你们两个就是活生生的证据

That's what I said then Missy said something's wrong with me

我也是这么说的然后米希说是我有问题

Oh I think you're as normal as I am

我觉得你像我一样正常

Thank you

谢谢

Although I have been called an odd duck

不过我被叫过怪人

and one time a quirky turkey

有一次还有人叫我怪胎

Those people were probably jealous

那些人可能是嫉妒

You know there's some science to indicate

你知道有科学证据表明

that adolescents process embarrassment

青少年和成年人

with a different part of their brain than adults do

处理尴尬情绪时用的大脑部位不同

Really So maybe Missy's right and I'm an outlier

真的吗所以米希可能说得对是我异于常人

Perhaps

或许吧

Let's increase our sample size

我们增加一下样本量

Andy would you feel embarrassed

安迪你和你妈妈

talking about sexual intercourse with your mother

讨论性交话题会感到尴尬吗

我

Stammering red faced

口吃脸红

He does seem embarrassed

他的确觉得尴尬

Although he may just be embarrassed

不过他也许只是

by the subject in general

对这个话题感到尴尬

How would you feel discussing it with a co worker

如果和同事讨论你会有什么感受

Say say me for example

比如说和我讨论

And now we know conversations like that

现在我们知道那种对话

can cost you your job

会害你丢了工作

You learn something new every day

每天都能学到新知识啊

I think First Corinthians 7 2

我觉得《哥林多前书》7:2这条

is actually a pretty good place to start

是个很好的切入点

"Each man should have relations with his own wife

"男子当各有自己的妻子

and each woman with her own husband"

女子也当各有自己的丈夫"

Yeah I'm just not sure quoting scripture

是啊我不确定引用经文

is the most exciting way to engage

能否最大程度调动大家听讲的积极性

I was going more for guilt and fear

我更想激起负罪感和恐惧感

Well those are classics for a reason

这两招能成为经典肯定是有两下子

I just think that if we make the fruit too forbidden

我只是觉得如果让果子变成禁果

someone might want to sneak a bite

就会有人想偷尝

They look up to you

他们都敬仰你

If you say that abstinence is the way to go

如果你说禁欲才是正路

they'll listen

他们会听的

Well abstinence is important

禁欲是很重要

But I also believe in honesty

但我也主张诚实

and abstinence wasn't my journey

我过去也没有禁欲

Well that's none of my business

这是你的事我不评判

That's okay I'm not saying I'm proud of everything I've done

这没什么我不是说我为我做过的事骄傲

but you know I was young the mustache was just coming in

但我当时年轻胡子刚刚长出来

You could stop right there

说到这就行了

Look all I'm saying is I was a little wild

听着我是想说我以前确实有点不羁

but it's all part of what led me to the Lord

但这也是把我引向上帝的一部分

That is good to hear

那很好啊

Actually this is great

其实这样很好

You can tell the kids how you waited till marriage

你可以告诉孩子们你是怎么等到结婚的

I think it'll be really powerful for them to hear your story

我觉得他们听到你的亲身经历会很震撼

Uh huh right right

对对啊

Right

对啊

Something seems not right

感觉好像有哪里不太对啊

Um it's just um

只是我

I didn't wait all the way until marriage

我也没完全等到结婚

Hey none of my business

是你的事我不评判

Thank you

谢谢

But I appreciate the honesty

但我感谢你的坦诚

Well this just got a little awkward

气氛有点尴尬了啊

Yup Yeah

是啊

All right have a good one Okay Oh

-好了祝你今天愉快 -好

Oh Don't take all my money

别把我的钱都赢走啊

I'm just a Texas grandma trying to make people happy

我只是一个想让大家开心的德州老奶奶

Here you go

给你

Ooh sweet bear I'll give you 20 bucks for it

这熊不错啊我用20块钱跟你买

How we doing

怎么样

There's a problem with the cash box

钱匣出了点问题

Oh what's that

什么问题

I can't get it to close

满到关不上了

That is my kind of problem

我就爱听到出了这种问题

Pastor Rob Well this is a surprise

罗伯牧师你怎么来了

Sorry to show up unannounced Can we talk

不好意思突然造访能谈谈吗

Of course Come in

当然请进

Everything okay

你还好吗

Yes but I need tell you something in confidence

还好但我有事要跟你密谈

No one's home It's just the two of us

家里没人只有我们两个

That's what I was hoping

那正合我意

Oh yeah

赞啊

Why are you in my bed Why are you

-你为什么在我床上 -你为什么也在

This is wrong

这么做是不对的

Does it feel wrong

你心里感觉不对吗

不

Mary Cooper

玛丽·库珀

I want to sex you up

我要跟你爽一发

I would like that very much

乐意之至

Everything okay Yeah I just um

-你还好吗 -还好我只是

I had a weird dream

做了个奇怪的梦

Must've been a doozy

这梦肯定不一般啊

You're all sweaty

你出了一身汗

What a haul huh

看这一大笔赃款

Amazing

太棒了

Now what happens

现在怎么做

I take it home pour it on the bed

我把赃款带回家倒到床上

and just roll around in it

然后在上面打滚

What about me

那我呢

You just go home

你回家啊

No We're partners

不我们是合作伙伴

First of all we're not partners and second

首先我们不是合作伙伴其次

Actually "Not partners" covers it all pretty well

其实"不是合作伙伴"就囊括得很全面了

Fine Good luck laundering this money without me

好祝你一个人洗钱顺利

You know how to do that

你知道怎么洗钱吗

I've seen Scarface like ten times

我看过《疤面煞星》有十遍了

Great I'll just watch Scarface

好那我就去看《疤面煞星》

Dang it

该死

拯救超过十亿人

梅德福第一浸信会教堂

Pastor Jeff you wanted to see me Oh Hello

杰夫牧师你找我吗你好

Looks like we both got called to the principal's office

看来我们都被叫到校长办公室了

Guess we've been naughty

也许是我们"坏坏"了

That's not a thing

没有的事

You okay

你没事吧

Yeah I just didn't sleep too good

没事我就是没睡好

Well I didn't either My phone was ringing off the hook

我也没睡好我的电话响个不停

Apparently this little talk y'all were planning on

你们准备的那个小谈话

giving is causing quite the tizzy

貌似造成了不小的骚乱啊

A good tizzy There's no such thing as a good tizzy

-好的骚乱吗 -骚乱没有好的

There's only bad tizzies

只有坏的骚乱

You know who wasn't afraid of causing a tizzy

你知道谁不怕引起骚乱吗

Yeah yeah Jesus

知道耶稣

but He didn't get 14 messages from angry parents

但祂的电话没收到

on his answering machine

14条愤怒家长的留言

There was probably more but that little tape got full

可能还有更多条但带子已经录满了

Yeah people have had some strong feelings

没错人们对这件事反应很大

but I think if they heard us out

但我认为如果他们听完

they'd see we're not putting impure thoughts in anyone's heads

就会发现我们没把不纯洁的想法植入孩子的脑中

Right Mary

对吧玛丽

No I mean I mean yes we're not

不对我是说没错我们没有

I mean

我想

if we're upsetting people

如果我们惹大家不高兴了

we should just back off

我们应该取消

Exactly The talk is off

没错谈话取消了

I never want to talk about the talk again

我再也不想谈这个谈话的事

Hallelujah

谢天谢地

If you'll excuse me

不好意思各位

I have 14 phone calls to return

我还有14个电话要回

Well sorry this didn't work out

很遗憾计划失败了

It's probably for the best

也许这样最好

Do not look at his butt

别看他的屁股

Do not look

别看

Okay do not look again

好吧别再看了

Everything okay No

-你没事吧 -有事

What's wrong Everyone's parents are upset

-怎么了 -所有家长都生气了

about the sex talk Mom wants to give

因为妈妈要做性知识谈话

and all my friends are all blaming me

我所有的朋友都怪我

What This wasn't your fault

什么这不是你的错啊

That didn't stop Marjorie Jones from taking

那也没能避免让玛乔丽·琼斯

my seat at the lunch table

在餐桌上坐我的位置

and I also got uninvited

有两场生日派对

from two birthday parties

都收回了对我的邀请

That's silly All you did was ask questions

这太蠢了你只是问了问题而已

And it's ruining my life

我的生活因此被毁了

I'm never talking about sex ever again

我再也不要谈论关于性的话题了

Well all right

那再好不过了

Hey there Connie

你好啊康妮

What do you want

你想干嘛

Is that any way to greet an officer of the law

你就这么跟执法人员打招呼吗

Sorry

对不起

What do you want

您有何贵干

I hear you're back in business

我听说你重操旧业了

We're not breaking any laws

我们什么法都没犯

People are just winning these prizes

大家只是来赢这些奖品的

That you buy back for cash

然后你再用现金买回来

It's a gray area

这是灰色地带

Look I I'm not here to argue

听着我不是来跟你争论的

At the risk of repeating myself

我再问一次

what do you want

你想干嘛

I've heard that in cash businesses such as this

我听说像这种现金交易的买卖

that some owners can benefit

有的老板可以靠

by having a strong relationship with their local police department

和当地警局建立深厚的关系获利

What are you getting at

你什么意思

I'm just wondering

我只是在想

if there's something you can do to incur good will

你能不能做点什么以示友好

Are you shaking me down No

-你是在勒索我吗 -不是

Are you hitting on me

你是在勾搭我吗

No Uh

不是

I'm just saying

我只是说

I've heard some business owners

我听说有的业主

like to invest in local law enforcement

愿意给当地警局投资

You are shaking me down

你是在勒索我

It's a gray area

这是灰色地带

What kind of contribution are we talking

你说的捐助是多少

well that's up to you

这取决于你

Oh I understand that somewhere

我听说大多数地方会给

between nine and 11% is popular

9%到11%

Ten percent

百分之十吗

If you insist

如果你坚持的话

How about three

三怎么样

Three what

三指什么

Three counts of illegal gambling

三项非法赌博罪吗

Three years in jail

三年刑期吗

I'm paying you in quarters

我全都用硬币付

Missy I know you're upset Would you like a hot beverage

米希我知道你难过你要喝杯热饮吗

Go away

走开

Every culture has their taboos

每种文化都有其禁忌

In the Ukraine it's rude to whistle indoors

在乌克兰室内吹口哨很失礼

and they're correct Not a fan

他们是对的我也不喜欢

In our society

在我们的社会

any discussion of human reproduction

任何有关人类繁殖的讨论

seems to be so upsetting

都会让人十分不快

it causes nothing but chaos

这话题只会造成混乱

Lost jobs

失去工作

Lost friends

失去朋友

Sleepless nights

整夜失眠

Even the word "sex" provokes an uncomfortable reaction

甚至"性爱"这个词都会让人不舒服

I thought "fornicate" Might work

我本以为用"私通"可能没事

but that seemed too judgy

但这个词带有评判的意味

Then I found the perfect word

然后我找到了完美的词

a word so bland and clinical

一个非常中性又学术的名词

that it would be impossible to take offense to it

完全不可能让人感到被冒犯

"Coitus" That'll work

"交媾" 这个词可以

My little angel

我的小天使

Do you Pastor Rob take Melissa Cooper to be your wife

罗伯牧师你愿意娶梅丽莎·库珀为妻吗

Heck yeah

愿意到不得了

And do you Melissa Cooper

梅丽莎·库珀

take Pastor Rob to be your husband

你愿意嫁给罗伯牧师吗

I totally do

超级愿意

I hereby pronounce you Mr And Mrs

我在此宣布你们结为夫妇

Youth Pastor Rob

青年牧师罗伯

You may now take the bride to Six Flags

你可以带新娘去六旗游乐园了

Yay Yay

-耶 -耶

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