小谢尔顿-S01E20_小谢尔顿

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S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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It was a beautiful morning in East Texas.

那是德州东部一个美好的早晨

The kind of morning that made you want to get up

是那种令你想起床

get dressed and test that acceleration due to gravity

穿好衣服测试重力加速度

does not depend on an object's motion.

并不受物体的移动影响的早晨

I love Saturdays.

我好爱周六啊

The Earth causes the same gravitational acceleration of everything

地球对任何物体都是施加相同的重力加速度

even a doll and a flying Ping Pong ball.

无论你是手办还是乒乓球

It's not often a man of science

科学界的人

gets to say "Yippee ki yay " and mean it but...

很少真心实意说出"好耶" 但...

Yippee ki yay.

好耶

Morning Herschel.

早啊赫谢尔

Hey George. Uh you didn't see a dog

乔治你没看到有只狗

wandering around here did you

跑来你家这溜达吧

No. Y'all get a dog

没啊你们养狗啦

Uh sort of. We took him in after my brother in law

算吧我大舅子要搬去有栅栏社区

had to go live in a gated community.

我们就收养了这条狗

Oh that sounds nice uh they got a no pets policy

感觉不错啊他们那里禁养宠物吗

He's in jail George.

是去坐牢乔治

Right sure.

好吧行

In physics nothing feels better than predicting an outcome.

物理学里没有什么比预测结果的感觉更棒了

I love predictability.

我爱可预测性

The force of gravity predictable.

重力可预测

Nuclear fusion predictable.

核聚变可预测

My brother peeing in the shower

我哥在淋浴间里撒尿

repulsive but predictable.

很恶心但可预测

What isn't predictable

那什么不可预测呢

dogs.

狗

I've always been terrified of dogs.

我一直都很害怕狗

To me they're nothing but big furry question marks.

对我来说它们就是个毛绒绒的庞大问号

Question marks with teeth.

长了牙的问号

In panic situations I'd often lose consciousness.

在惊慌的时刻我常常失去知觉

This time I only lost my voice.

而这次我只失去了声音

Help.

救命

Please help.

快救命啊

Uh I was just admiring

我只是在欣赏

Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.

蓝爷爷独特的拐杖

Smurf a loo loo.

蓝精灵哟喂呀

That's not my walking stick.

那不是我的拐杖

Lunch is ready.

午餐好了

Can you go get your brother

你能去叫你弟弟来吃饭吗

I'm watching TV.

我在看电视呢

Just go.

快去

I have to do smurfing everything around here.

这家里什么都他蓝精灵的要我干

I heard that.

我听到了

I said "smurfing."

我说的是"他蓝精灵"

And I heard how you said it.

我听到了你用这词的方式

She can cut her own crusts off.

她自己给自己吐司切边吧

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Who are you

你是谁呀

You're so cute.

你真可爱

Be careful.

小心点

What are you doing up there

你躲在那上面干嘛

Staying alive.

保护性命

Whose dog is this

这是谁的狗啊

I don't know. Get help.

我不知道快叫人来救命

Well how did he get into the garage

它怎么进我们车库的

Please get help.

快请你去找人来救命

Maybe we can keep it.

或许我们可以收养它

I'm begging you get help now.

我求你了快去找人来

First I have to tell you something.

首先我得告诉你一件事

What

什么

Lunch is ready.

午餐好了

Will you look at that

你看看

What kind of dog chews through wood

什么狗会咬穿木头啊

Y'all are feeding him right

你们都有喂它吧

Maybe he's teething.

或许它是在磨牙

You know when Billy was little

比利小的时候

he chewed right through his playpen.

他咬穿了他的围栏

No kidding Only had three teeth.

-真的假的 -他只有三颗牙

Mostly gummed it.

基本都是靠牙龈咬的

So how y'all want to fix it

所以你们打算怎么处理

Well I figure I'll patch it

我想我可以把这里补上

run some chicken wire along the bottom

然后用细铁丝网围住下面这块

that way he don't chew through it again.

这样它就不能再来咬穿个洞了

Hello.

你们好

Hey. ‭Hey Billy.

-你好 -你好啊比利

Was this fence window always here

以前这里就有个围栏窗口了吗

No son that's a new fence window.

不是的儿子这围栏窗口是新的

Anybody else getting dizzy

有人感觉头晕吗

Why didn't you call for help

你怎么不叫人救你呢

I tried but no sound came out.

我试过了但我发不出声音

You poor thing.

可怜的孩子

It was very dirty up there.

车库上面好脏啊

Is cleaning the garage your job or Dad's

打扫车库是你还是爸爸的责任

Don't you worry about that.

你不用担心那个

Here have some tea.

来喝点茶

Chamomile ‭ Yes.

-甘菊茶吗 -是的

One teaspoon of honey

加一茶匙的蜂蜜了吗

Yes.

加了

An ice cube to cool it off

加了一块冰块来降温了吗

I went with two today.

我给你加了两块

You've been through enough.

你今天过得太惨了

I prefer one ice cube.

我还是比较喜欢加一块冰

Drink it.

快给老娘喝了

It's nice when the kids are in bed

孩子们都上床了之后真好

and we can just hang out and relax.

我们可以就在这放松聚着

I'm not even gonna respond to that.

你这话我连回都懒得回

I finally got him asleep.

终于把他哄睡了

He's still pretty shook up.

他现在还惊魂未定

Maybe having this mutt next door won't be so bad.

或许隔壁养这条狗也不是什么坏事

Shelly could end up getting used to it.

谢利说不定哪天就能习惯了

That's true.

这倒是真的

Remember when he got all freaked out

还记得他以前总因为

by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt

酸奶底下的水果而小题大做吗

Now he eats it no problem.

他现在也能正常吃了

He still makes me stir it.

他现在也还是要我帮他搅好啊

Maybe you could start out

或许他可以一步步来

with a small pet and work your way up.

先从小动物开始再慢慢适应大的

Like a turtle.

比如小乌龟

He says they carry salmonella.

他说乌龟带有沙门氏菌

A gerbil

沙鼠呢

Apparently they caused the plague.

黑死病的真正元凶好像是它们

What about a bird

那鸟呢

Oh I know that one.

这题我来答

They'll steal his hair to make a nest.

它们会偷他的头发去筑巢

Mom

妈

At least this time sound came out.

至少这次我能发出声音了

I call that progress.

我觉得这算是进步

What's going on

怎么了

Your dog got into our house.

你家的狗跑进我家里了

How the hell did he do that

它怎么进去的

He pushed in a screen window.

它把纱窗给推开了

You think he chewed through the fence again

你觉得它是不是又把围栏咬穿了

All I know is Sheldon's yelling at the dog

我只知道谢尔顿对着这狗吼

and Mary's yelling at me.

然后玛丽就吼我

Now I'm looking at you in your underwear.

而我现在在这看着你穿着内裤

Damn it Herschel what is going on

要命了赫谢尔怎么了

Oh hey George.

你好啊乔治

Hey Brenda.

你好啊布兰达

Bucky got in their house.

巴基跑进他们家里了

That's funny.

这还挺好笑

It might be funny one day not right now.

或许哪天回忆起来挺好笑但现在不好笑

Look I'm real sorry George.

真的很抱歉啦乔治

I'll keep him tied up it won't happen again.

我会把它拴上下次不会这样了

Y'all have a good night.

你们晚安

George

乔治

You are not gonna believe this. Look.

你绝对不敢相信你看

Their dog left a dead squirrel in our living room.

他们的狗留了一只死松鼠在我们客厅

Well h he is part hunting dog.

它有猎狗的血统

I think that means he likes you.

我想这表示它喜欢你们

I'm not interested in winning his affection.

我对它的喜爱没有兴趣

I'm interested in keeping dogs and rodents outside of my home.

我只对不让狗与啮齿动物进我家有兴趣

Well now hold on.

等等

How do we know it was Bucky that left

你怎么知道是巴基

that squirrel in your house

把这只松鼠留在你家的

Maybe that squirrel was already there.

或许这松鼠本来就在那里了啊

Why else would a dead squirrel be in my living room

除了它我家客厅怎么可能会有死松鼠

I don't know what kind of house you keep.

我哪知道你怎么打理你家的

My house is immaculate.

我家一尘不染

George tell them. ‭Uh...

乔治你告诉他们

She does keep a nice house.

他的确把家里打理得很好

Honey it's a pretty good chance it was Bucky.

亲爱的的确很可能是巴基留下的

Whose side are you on Yours always yours.

-你站谁那边 -你的永远你这边

All right. Everyone's upset it's late.

好啦现在大家情绪都不好时间也晚了

Maybe we should drop this for tonight

我们今晚这事就先缓缓吧

That's a good idea. Okay.

好主意好啦

You just keep your dog away from my son.

你把你家狗关得离我儿子远点

There you go picking it up again. I am sorry

-你又重启战火啦 -抱歉

but their dog broke into our home.

但是他们家的狗偷闯进我们家

Something he probably learned from your brother.

或许是跟她哥哥学的

How dare you.

你好大的胆子

Okay I think that's a good stopping point.

好了我觉得在这里停下挺好的

How do we know that your son didn't

我们怎么知道不是你儿子

lure Bucky in to perform weird science experiments on him

引诱巴基想在狗身上做什么奇怪的科学实验

My son was asleep in his bed and you have some nerve...

我儿子当时已经上床睡了你好大的胆子...

Night George

晚安啦乔治

Night

晚安

I don't understand why that dog

我真不懂那条狗

is so interested in Sheldon.

对谢尔顿这么感兴趣

Maybe Bucky likes the way Sheldon smells

或许巴基喜欢谢尔顿的味道

Your brother washes himself three times a day.

你弟弟一天洗三次澡

He has no smell.

他没有味道

Here we go animal control.

找到了动物管理局

Oh no no.

别别

No you don't want to go calling animal control.

不行你怎么可以打给动物管理局呢

Why not ‭Because

-为什么不行 -因为

you have to live next door to these people.

你还得住在这些人的隔壁呢

They called the cops on Georgie when he played music too loud.

小乔治音乐放太大声他们也打给警察了啊

Maybe it was them maybe it was me.

或许是他们也可能是我

Anyway the point is

但重点是

you don't can't go throwing gasoline on the fire.

你想灭火就不能火上浇油啊

Well they started this fire

是他们自己放的火

and now they're gonna get burned.

现在准备引火自焚吧

I believe you've had enough coffee.

我觉得你咖啡喝够多了再喝上脑

Listen why don't you let me talk to Brenda

我说要不你让我去跟布兰达谈吧

and just smooth things out

让我来摆平这件事

Why do you think she'll listen to you

你凭什么觉得她会听你的话

Because people like me more than you.

因为人们喜欢我多过喜欢你啊

People like me.

大家喜欢我啊

I didn't say they don't they just like me more.

我没说别人不喜欢你只说更喜欢我

Anyway I see her all the time at bowling.

总之我整天在保龄球馆遇见她

I know how to handle her.

我知道怎么跟她相处

Fine.

行

Thank you.

谢谢

Plenty of people like me.

很多人都喜欢我好吗

Hey Brenda how's it going

布兰达最近好吗

Your daughter's a pain in my ass that's how it's going.

你女儿烦人得要死你说好不好

You don't beat around the bush.

你还真是明人不说暗话啊

I've always liked that about you.

我一直都喜欢你这点

Connie I've had a long night.

康妮我今晚上班够累了

Unless you're looking to bowl I don't want to hear it.

除非你是想打球不然我懒得听你废话

Aw now come on.

来嘛别这样

Let me buy you a drink and we'll talk about this.

让我请你喝杯酒咱们来聊两句

I'm more on your side than you think.

我比你想象中更支持你呢

Somehow i doubt that. ‭It's true.

-我莫名不太敢信呢 -是真的

Don't you think I realize that Mary can be a bit...

你以为我就没觉得玛丽有时候是个...

Of a self righteous bitch

自以为是的臭婊子吗

I was gonna say "challenging " but sure let's go with yours.

我本来要说"难相处" 但你这么说也可以

It's got a nice rhythm.

说起来挺顺口的

Brenda this is by far

布兰达这不得不说

the best bowling alley margarita in town.

是我们这里保龄球馆中最好喝的玛格丽塔了

How long you and Herschel been married 18 19 years

你跟赫谢尔结婚多少年了 18 19年了吗

19 but it feels like 30.

19年感觉像30年了

Well y'all are a great couple.

你们也算是神仙眷侣啦

I just wanted to thank you

我是想谢谢你

for being so patient and kind to my daughter and her family

从我女儿跟她一家人搬过来之后

since they moved in.

就对他们包容又友善

It's nothing. ‭No it needs to be said.

-这没什么 -不我得说出来

You know Mary has a tough job raising those three kids

玛丽养育那三个孩子很不容易

with one of them being you know somewhat special.

尤其其中一个还挺...特别的

I can see that. ‭ Yeah.

-我能理解 -是啊

And having a kind neighbor makes all the difference in the world.

有友善的邻居让一切都好多了

Well we try.

我们尽力而为

And I know you know how stressful it is

我知道你也很清楚压力有多大

seeing as how you have your own child

因为你也有一个

who is special in his own way.

很特别的儿子

What's that supposed to mean

这话是什么意思

Well I mean hey I know Billy is a terrific little boy

我知道比利是个很棒的孩子

but I am sure he has presented you and Herschel

但他一定给你和赫谢尔带来过

with some challenges.

不少挑战

If there's a weird kid in the neighborhood

要说我们这区有哪个孩子怪异

it's your grandson.

一定是你的外孙

Now hang on I said "special " not "weird."

等一下我说的是"特别" 不是"怪异"

I heard you.

我听到了

I said "weird."

我说的是"怪异"

Okay see now Brenda

知道吗布兰达

you don't want to go calling my grandson weird

劝你不要说我外孙"怪异"

when I've just treated you to a margarita grande.

因为我刚刚才请你喝了玛格丽塔酒

Well I'm sorry but you shouldn't be inferring

不好意思但你也不该暗示

there's something wrong with my Billy.

我家比利有毛病

Darlin' there's no inferring.

亲这不是暗示

I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt

我见过你儿子坐在泥地上

eating his own belly button lint.

吃他肚脐里的棉絮团

Really Mom This is how you put out the fire

真的吗妈妈你就是这样灭火的

Well at least she got the worst of it.

至少她伤得比较重

How you figure that

你怎么得出这结论的

I ripped a big patch of hair out of her head.

我把她一大片头发给扯下来了

This will be healed in a week.

这淤青一周就会好

She will be wearing a hat till Labor Day.

而她到劳动节前都得戴帽子遮丑

I want to be just like you when I grow up.

我长大后要像你一样

No you don't. ‭Pick again.

-不行 -三思啊

Excuse me Ms. Hutchins

请问一下哈钦斯老师

Hey Sheldon.

谢尔顿好啊

Can you recommend any books on overcoming phobias

你能推荐克服恐惧的书吗

That's in the self help section.

那些都在自助书籍区

Follow me I have read them all.

跟我来我全都看过

Any phobia in particular ‭ Dogs.

-有特指哪种恐惧吗 -狗

Ah cynophobia. That's a good one.

恐犬病这个不错

Did you know there's over 50 million dogs

你知道光在美国

just in the United States alone

就有超过5千万只狗吗

That's 50 million too many.

多余了5千万只狗

Here. I read this one to help with my haphephobia.

给我读这本来改善我的接触恐惧症

Ah fear of being touched. I have that too. Was it useful

害怕被碰触我也有这病症有用吗

Well when someone's interested in touching me

等有人有兴趣碰我时

we'll find out.

就知道了

The basic premise of the book was that phobias

这本书的基本前提是

were overcome by taking incremental steps

想克服恐惧

toward confronting the phobia in question.

必须逐步面对该恐惧

In my case that started with watching a TV show

对我而言就是从看一个

that was adored by children around the world

全天下小朋友都喜欢

but for me was the stuff of nightmares.

但于我如同噩梦的电视节目开始

Scooby Doo

史酷比

The next step was to go face to face

下一步就是跟真正的狗

with real dogs.

面对面

Albeit through a plate glass window.

虽然是透过一扇玻璃窗

Okay that's enough.

够了够了

And finally

最后

a close encounter of the third kind

第三种近距离接触

physical contact with a member of the canine species.

与一种犬科动物进行身体接触

Hello I'd like to speak with the veterinarian.

你好我想找兽医

Well I was hoping you might have one or two dogs

我希望你有一两只处于麻醉状态的狗

under anesthesia that I might come by and pet.

能让我来摸一下

Sure I'll hold.

好的我等着

Who are you talking to

你在跟谁打电话

The Medford Veterinary Clinic.

梅福德兽医诊所

Why

为什么

I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs

我想克服我对狗的恐惧

before it affects our family any further.

不然我们家还得受更大影响

Oh honey you don't have to worry about how it affects us.

宝贝你不必担心我们会受影响

Meemaw got punched in the face because of me.

姥姥脸上被揍了一拳都是因为我

No that wasn't because of you and for the record

不那不是你造成的再说了

your meemaw gets punched in the face all the time.

你姥姥脸上经常挨揍啊

Well I still think I need to take

我仍然认为我需要

some sort of positive action.

采取一些积极行动

Hello Yes hello

-喂 -喂你好

Oh that's too bad.

真不幸

How about a small fluffy one that's recently died of old age

那有最近老死的蓬毛小型犬吗

Enough.

够了

Sorry.

抱歉

Now it says here in Mark 12 31

《马可福音》12章31节说到

that you should "Love your neighbor as yourself."

"要爱邻如己"

Anybody like to take a guess what that means Missy

有人想猜猜这是什么意思吗米希

It means to be nice to the people who live next door.

意思是要对邻居友善

That's right.

没错

But everybody else can go to hell.

至于剩下的人就都下地狱去吧

Okay Missy we don't use that kind of language here.

米希我们这儿不能说这种话

And if you think about it in this world

如果仔细想想在现在这个时代

with all the ways we can travel everybody's your neighbor.

我们有那么多旅行方式所有人都是你的邻居

Yes Sheldon.

谢尔顿

How do we love our neighbors

我们的妈妈互相讨厌

when our moms hate each other

我们又如何爱自己的邻居呢

Who does your mom hate Your mom.

-你妈妈讨厌谁 -你妈妈

Hey my mom hates your mom. Small world.

我妈妈也讨厌你妈妈好巧哦

Okay let's hang on a second.

好了先等一下

My mom also hates their grandma.

我妈妈也讨厌他们的姥姥

'Cause she lost a fight to her.

因为她打架输给她了

Nuh uh she won. She said so.

才不她赢了她说的

All right stop. Let's stop.

好了都别说了

Now this might be hard to understand

这也许难以理解

but living a loving Christian life

但过充满爱的基督徒生活

isn't always the easiest thing to do.

并非易事

Yes Billy.

比利

My mom's not crazy about you either.

我妈妈也不太喜欢你

Just love your neighbor 'kay

爱你们的邻居好吗

Now I am more than willing to look the other way

我的教区居民之间关系不好

when my parishioners don't get along with each other.

我很愿意睁只眼闭只眼

That sort of thing happens but when it becomes a problem

这是常有的事但如果问题影响到孩子

for the children then I have to intervene.

我就得插手了

There's no problem here

根本没问题

other than these two thinking that they're better than me.

只除了这俩人觉得自己比我强

I don't think it I know it.

我不是觉得我知道

I gave your mother a good smacking.

我狠揍了你妈一顿

I can give you one too.

我也可以让你尝尝厉害

That's big talk from somebody with a comb over.

头发横着梳掩饰秃头的人也好意思说

Ladies.

女士们

Do I need to remind you that we are Christians

我需要提醒你们我们都是基督徒吗

In all our behavior in all our actions

在我们所有的行为行动中

we must constantly ask ourselves the question

我们都必须不断扪心自问

"What would Jesus do "

"耶稣会怎么做"

Can I say something

我能说几句吗

Would Jesus say it

耶稣会说那些吗

Never mind.

算了

In my life

在我人生中

I've often been accused of being a physical coward

我常被说是行动上的懦夫

and for the most part those accusations are correct.

大部分时候这说法是对的

But there have been times when I've shown great courage.

但我也曾数次表现出巨大的勇气

This was one of them.

这就是其中一次

Hello Bucky.

巴基你好啊

Are you a good dog

你是乖狗狗吗

Please be a good dog.

拜托你乖乖的

Please.

拜托了

Now oftentimes when we don't like someone

很多时候我们不喜欢别人

what's happening is we see something in them

是因为看到他们身上有我们自身也有

that we don't like in ourselves.

且不喜欢的的缺点

What are you saying

你在说什么

Really That was over your head

不是吧你这都听不懂

I'm saying

我是说

y'all might have more in common than you think.

你们也许比想象中有更多共同点

Well don't say both their kids are "special."

千万别说他们的孩子都很"特别"

She does not like that.

她可不喜欢听这话

Okay.

好吧

Here we go.

来吧

Petting... the dog.

抚摸...狗狗

I'm doing it.

我做到了

I've conquered my phobia.

我战胜了我的恐惧

You're a good boy. Yes you are.

你是只乖狗狗你就是

I'm sorry for the unkind things I said to you.

抱歉我对你说了那些恶毒话

Me too.

我也是

Connie

康妮

What

干嘛

Anything you'd like to say

你有话想说吗

Not particularly.

并没有

Mom.

妈妈

Okay.

好吧

I'm sorry for the things I said

抱歉我说了那些话

and you know what happened at the bowling alley.

在保龄球馆发生的事我也很抱歉

As am I.

我也是

Here.

给

I think this came out of your head.

这应该是从你脑袋上掉下来的

He licked me He licked me

它舔了我它舔了我

The dog licked my tongue

那只狗舔了我的舌头

I can still taste it

我嘴里还有那个味道

Call 911

快打急救电话

I think Jesus might go check that out.

耶稣应该会去看看什么情况

How's it going in there baby

你在里面怎么样了宝贝

Okay but we're gonna need more Listerine.

还行但我需要更多漱口水

I'm proud of him for trying to overcome that damn dog phobia.

他试图克服恐狗症我很骄傲

You should tell him that.

你应该告诉他啊

Well if he ever leaves that bathroom I will.

如果他从浴室出来我会说的

What I can't figure out is why that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.

我想不明白的是那只狗为何这么喜欢谢尔顿

Beats me.

问倒我了

You say his owner's in the slammer ‭ Yeah.

-你说它的主人进监狱了对吗 -是的

Wonder what kind of fella he is.

不知道他是什么样的人

百利牌发胶

It's a mystery.

真是个谜

I guess we'll never know.

恐怕我们永远都不会知道

Hey Moonpie.

小饼饼

I got you a little something to help you

我带了样东西

get over your fear of animals.

帮你克服对动物的恐惧

A tranquilizer gun

麻醉枪吗

A pet fish.

是一条宠物鱼

《鱼·库珀简史》

Why

为什么

Well I thought you could start small and then work your way up.

我想着你可以从小的开始循序渐进

Look he's kind of cute.

瞧它挺可爱的

He doesn't even care that I'm here. I like him.

它对我的存在毫不在意我喜欢它

What are you gonna name him

你打算叫它什么

Fish.

鱼

Fish

鱼吗

I'm not ready to get attached.

我没准备好发生感情

Fish are kind of boring.

鱼有点无聊

I know isn't it great

我知道太棒了不是吗

But you can't even pet 'em.

但连摸都不能摸

Maybe we can.

也许可以呢

Baby what's wrong

宝贝出什么事了

I tried to pet Fish Ah he was so slimy

我试着抚摸鱼它身体好黏滑

Well yeah he's a fish.

鱼就是这样的

I put my finger in the top of the tank then I touched him

我把手指伸进鱼缸然后我碰了它

and he bit me

结果它咬我

Oh I'm sure he didn't bite you.

它肯定没有咬你啦

I can't breathe.

我无法呼吸了

His fish blood is mixing with my human blood.

它的鱼血现在跟我的人血混在一起了

Maybe he was just trying to give you a kiss. ‭No.

-也许它只是想亲你呢 -不

He hates me. I never want to see him again.

它讨厌我我再也不想看到它

Oh Sheldon you're being silly.

谢尔顿别犯傻了

Fish like this don't bite.

这种小鱼不会咬人

Look. See He's harmless.

你瞧毫无杀伤力

Son of a bitch

妈了个逼

Dad killed my fish

爸爸杀了我的鱼

George

乔治

He'll be fine.

它不会有事的

Just got to put him back in the bowl.

把它放回缸里就好了

Oh George.

乔治

完结

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