It was a beautiful morning in East Texas.
那是德州东部一个美好的早晨
The kind of morning that made you want to get up
是那种令你想起床
get dressed and test that acceleration due to gravity
穿好衣服 测试重力加速度
does not depend on an object's motion.
并不受物体的移动影响的早晨
I love Saturdays.
我好爱周六啊
The Earth causes the same gravitational acceleration of everything
地球对任何物体都是施加相同的重力加速度
even a doll and a flying Ping Pong ball.
无论你是手办还是乒乓球
It's not often a man of science
科学界的人
gets to say "Yippee ki yay " and mean it but...
很少真心实意说出"好耶" 但...
Yippee ki yay.
好耶
Morning Herschel.
早啊 赫谢尔
Hey George. Uh you didn't see a dog
乔治 你没看到有只狗
wandering around here did you
跑来你家这溜达吧
No. Y'all get a dog
没啊 你们养狗啦
Uh sort of. We took him in after my brother in law
算吧 我大舅子要搬去有栅栏社区
had to go live in a gated community.
我们就收养了这条狗
Oh that sounds nice uh they got a no pets policy
感觉不错啊 他们那里禁养宠物吗
He's in jail George.
是去坐牢 乔治
Right sure.
好吧 行
In physics nothing feels better than predicting an outcome.
物理学里 没有什么比预测结果的感觉更棒了
I love predictability.
我爱可预测性
The force of gravity predictable.
重力 可预测
Nuclear fusion predictable.
核聚变 可预测
My brother peeing in the shower
我哥在淋浴间里撒尿
repulsive but predictable.
很恶心 但可预测
What isn't predictable
那什么不可预测呢
dogs.
I've always been terrified of dogs.
我一直都很害怕狗
To me they're nothing but big furry question marks.
对我来说它们就是个毛绒绒的庞大问号
Question marks with teeth.
长了牙的问号
In panic situations I'd often lose consciousness.
在惊慌的时刻 我常常失去知觉
This time I only lost my voice.
而这次 我只失去了声音
Help.
救命
Please help.
快救命啊
Uh I was just admiring
我只是在欣赏
Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.
蓝爷爷独特的拐杖
Smurf a loo loo.
蓝精灵哟喂呀
That's not my walking stick.
那不是我的拐杖
Lunch is ready.
午餐好了
Can you go get your brother
你能去叫你弟弟来吃饭吗
I'm watching TV.
我在看电视呢
Just go.
快去
I have to do smurfing everything around here.
这家里什么都他蓝精灵的要我干
I heard that.
我听到了
I said "smurfing."
我说的是"他蓝精灵"
And I heard how you said it.
我听到了你用这词的方式
She can cut her own crusts off.
她自己给自己吐司切边吧
Sheldon
谢尔顿
Who are you
你是谁呀
You're so cute.
你真可爱
Be careful.
小心点
What are you doing up there
你躲在那上面干嘛
Staying alive.
保护性命
Whose dog is this
这是谁的狗啊
I don't know. Get help.
我不知道 快叫人来救命
Well how did he get into the garage
它怎么进我们车库的
Please get help.
快请你去找人来救命
Maybe we can keep it.
或许我们可以收养它
I'm begging you get help now.
我求你了 快去找人来
First I have to tell you something.
首先 我得告诉你一件事
What
什么
Lunch is ready.
午餐好了
Will you look at that
你看看
What kind of dog chews through wood
什么狗会咬穿木头啊
Y'all are feeding him right
你们都有喂它吧
Maybe he's teething.
或许它是在磨牙
You know when Billy was little
比利小的时候
he chewed right through his playpen.
他咬穿了他的围栏
No kidding Only had three teeth.
-真的假的 -他只有三颗牙
Mostly gummed it.
基本都是靠牙龈咬的
So how y'all want to fix it
所以你们打算怎么处理
Well I figure I'll patch it
我想我可以把这里补上
run some chicken wire along the bottom
然后用细铁丝网围住下面这块
that way he don't chew through it again.
这样它就不能再来咬穿个洞了
Hello.
你们好
Hey. ‭Hey Billy.
-你好 -你好啊 比利
Was this fence window always here
以前这里就有个围栏窗口了吗
No son that's a new fence window.
不是的儿子 这围栏窗口是新的
Anybody else getting dizzy
有人感觉头晕吗
Why didn't you call for help
你怎么不叫人救你呢
I tried but no sound came out.
我试过了 但我发不出声音
You poor thing.
可怜的孩子
It was very dirty up there.
车库上面好脏啊
Is cleaning the garage your job or Dad's
打扫车库是你还是爸爸的责任
Don't you worry about that.
你不用担心那个
Here have some tea.
来 喝点茶
Chamomile Yes.
-甘菊茶吗 -是的
One teaspoon of honey
加一茶匙的蜂蜜了吗
Yes.
加了
An ice cube to cool it off
加了一块冰块来降温了吗
I went with two today.
我给你加了两块
You've been through enough.
你今天过得太惨了
I prefer one ice cube.
我还是比较喜欢加一块冰
Drink it.
快给老娘喝了
It's nice when the kids are in bed
孩子们都上床了之后真好
and we can just hang out and relax.
我们可以就在这放松聚着
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
你这话我连回都懒得回
I finally got him asleep.
终于把他哄睡了
He's still pretty shook up.
他现在还惊魂未定
Maybe having this mutt next door won't be so bad.
或许隔壁养这条狗也不是什么坏事
Shelly could end up getting used to it.
谢利说不定哪天就能习惯了
That's true.
这倒是真的
Remember when he got all freaked out
还记得他以前总因为
by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt
酸奶底下的水果而小题大做吗
Now he eats it no problem.
他现在也能正常吃了
He still makes me stir it.
他现在也还是要我帮他搅好啊
Maybe you could start out
或许他可以一步步来
with a small pet and work your way up.
先从小动物开始 再慢慢适应大的
Like a turtle.
比如小乌龟
He says they carry salmonella.
他说乌龟带有沙门氏菌
A gerbil
沙鼠呢
Apparently they caused the plague.
黑死病的真正元凶好像是它们
What about a bird
那鸟呢
Oh I know that one.
这题我来答
They'll steal his hair to make a nest.
它们会偷他的头发去筑巢
Mom
At least this time sound came out.
至少这次我能发出声音了
I call that progress.
我觉得这算是进步
What's going on
怎么了
Your dog got into our house.
你家的狗跑进我家里了
How the hell did he do that
它怎么进去的
He pushed in a screen window.
它把纱窗给推开了
You think he chewed through the fence again
你觉得它是不是又把围栏咬穿了
All I know is Sheldon's yelling at the dog
我只知道谢尔顿对着这狗吼
and Mary's yelling at me.
然后玛丽就吼我
Now I'm looking at you in your underwear.
而我现在在这看着你穿着内裤
Damn it Herschel what is going on
要命了 赫谢尔 怎么了
Oh hey George.
你好啊 乔治
Hey Brenda.
你好啊 布兰达
Bucky got in their house.
巴基跑进他们家里了
That's funny.
这还挺好笑
It might be funny one day not right now.
或许哪天回忆起来挺好笑 但现在不好笑
Look I'm real sorry George.
真的很抱歉啦 乔治
I'll keep him tied up it won't happen again.
我会把它拴上 下次不会这样了
Y'all have a good night.
你们晚安
George
乔治
You are not gonna believe this. Look.
你绝对不敢相信 你看
Their dog left a dead squirrel in our living room.
他们的狗留了一只死松鼠在我们客厅
Well h he is part hunting dog.
它有猎狗的血统
I think that means he likes you.
我想这表示它喜欢你们
I'm not interested in winning his affection.
我对它的喜爱没有兴趣
I'm interested in keeping dogs and rodents outside of my home.
我只对不让狗与啮齿动物进我家有兴趣
Well now hold on.
等等
How do we know it was Bucky that left
你怎么知道是巴基
that squirrel in your house
把这只松鼠留在你家的
Maybe that squirrel was already there.
或许这松鼠本来就在那里了啊
Why else would a dead squirrel be in my living room
除了它 我家客厅怎么可能会有死松鼠
I don't know what kind of house you keep.
我哪知道你怎么打理你家的
My house is immaculate.
我家一尘不染
George tell them. ‭Uh...
乔治 你告诉他们
She does keep a nice house.
他的确把家里打理得很好
Honey it's a pretty good chance it was Bucky.
亲爱的 的确很可能是巴基留下的
Whose side are you on Yours always yours.
-你站谁那边 -你的 永远你这边
All right. Everyone's upset it's late.
好啦 现在大家情绪都不好 时间也晚了
Maybe we should drop this for tonight
我们今晚这事就先缓缓吧
That's a good idea. Okay.
好主意 好啦
You just keep your dog away from my son.
你把你家狗关得离我儿子远点
There you go picking it up again. I am sorry
-你又重启战火啦 -抱歉
but their dog broke into our home.
但是他们家的狗偷闯进我们家
Something he probably learned from your brother.
或许是跟她哥哥学的
How dare you.
你好大的胆子
Okay I think that's a good stopping point.
好了 我觉得在这里停下挺好的
How do we know that your son didn't
我们怎么知道不是你儿子
lure Bucky in to perform weird science experiments on him
引诱巴基 想在狗身上做什么奇怪的科学实验
My son was asleep in his bed and you have some nerve...
我儿子当时已经上床睡了 你好大的胆子...
Night George
晚安啦 乔治
Night
晚安
I don't understand why that dog
我真不懂那条狗
is so interested in Sheldon.
对谢尔顿这么感兴趣
Maybe Bucky likes the way Sheldon smells
或许巴基喜欢谢尔顿的味道
Your brother washes himself three times a day.
你弟弟一天洗三次澡
He has no smell.
他没有味道
Here we go animal control.
找到了 动物管理局
Oh no no.
别 别
No you don't want to go calling animal control.
不行 你怎么可以打给动物管理局呢
Why not ‭Because
-为什么不行 -因为
you have to live next door to these people.
你还得住在这些人的隔壁呢
They called the cops on Georgie when he played music too loud.
小乔治音乐放太大声他们也打给警察了啊
Maybe it was them maybe it was me.
或许是他们 也可能是我
Anyway the point is
但重点是
you don't can't go throwing gasoline on the fire.
你想灭火就不能火上浇油啊
Well they started this fire
是他们自己放的火
and now they're gonna get burned.
现在准备引火自焚吧
I believe you've had enough coffee.
我觉得你咖啡喝够多了 再喝上脑
Listen why don't you let me talk to Brenda
我说 要不你让我去跟布兰达谈吧
and just smooth things out
让我来摆平这件事
Why do you think she'll listen to you
你凭什么觉得她会听你的话
Because people like me more than you.
因为人们喜欢我多过喜欢你啊
People like me.
大家喜欢我啊
I didn't say they don't they just like me more.
我没说别人不喜欢你 只说更喜欢我
Anyway I see her all the time at bowling.
总之 我整天在保龄球馆遇见她
I know how to handle her.
我知道怎么跟她相处
Fine.
Thank you.
谢谢
Plenty of people like me.
很多人都喜欢我好吗
Hey Brenda how's it going
布兰达 最近好吗
Your daughter's a pain in my ass that's how it's going.
你女儿烦人得要死 你说好不好
You don't beat around the bush.
你还真是明人不说暗话啊
I've always liked that about you.
我一直都喜欢你这点
Connie I've had a long night.
康妮 我今晚上班够累了
Unless you're looking to bowl I don't want to hear it.
除非你是想打球 不然我懒得听你废话
Aw now come on.
来嘛 别这样
Let me buy you a drink and we'll talk about this.
让我请你喝杯酒 咱们来聊两句
I'm more on your side than you think.
我比你想象中更支持你呢
Somehow i doubt that. ‭It's true.
-我莫名不太敢信呢 -是真的
Don't you think I realize that Mary can be a bit...
你以为我就没觉得玛丽有时候是个...
Of a self righteous bitch
自以为是的臭婊子吗
I was gonna say "challenging " but sure let's go with yours.
我本来要说"难相处" 但你这么说也可以
It's got a nice rhythm.
说起来挺顺口的
Brenda this is by far
布兰达 这不得不说
the best bowling alley margarita in town.
是我们这里保龄球馆中最好喝的玛格丽塔了
How long you and Herschel been married 18 19 years
你跟赫谢尔结婚多少年了 18 19年了吗
19 but it feels like 30.
19年 感觉像30年了
Well y'all are a great couple.
你们也算是神仙眷侣啦
I just wanted to thank you
我是想谢谢你
for being so patient and kind to my daughter and her family
从我女儿跟她一家人搬过来之后
since they moved in.
就对他们包容又友善
It's nothing. ‭No it needs to be said.
-这没什么 -不 我得说出来
You know Mary has a tough job raising those three kids
玛丽养育那三个孩子很不容易
with one of them being you know somewhat special.
尤其其中一个还挺...特别的
I can see that. Yeah.
-我能理解 -是啊
And having a kind neighbor makes all the difference in the world.
有友善的邻居让一切都好多了
Well we try.
我们尽力而为
And I know you know how stressful it is
我知道你也很清楚压力有多大
seeing as how you have your own child
因为你也有一个
who is special in his own way.
很特别的儿子
What's that supposed to mean
这话是什么意思
Well I mean hey I know Billy is a terrific little boy
我知道比利是个很棒的孩子
but I am sure he has presented you and Herschel
但他一定给你和赫谢尔带来过
with some challenges.
不少挑战
If there's a weird kid in the neighborhood
要说我们这区有哪个孩子怪异
it's your grandson.
一定是你的外孙
Now hang on I said "special " not "weird."
等一下 我说的是"特别" 不是"怪异"
I heard you.
我听到了
I said "weird."
我说的是"怪异"
Okay see now Brenda
知道吗 布兰达
you don't want to go calling my grandson weird
劝你不要说我外孙"怪异"
when I've just treated you to a margarita grande.
因为我刚刚才请你喝了玛格丽塔酒
Well I'm sorry but you shouldn't be inferring
不好意思 但你也不该暗示
there's something wrong with my Billy.
我家比利有毛病
Darlin' there's no inferring.
亲 这不是暗示
I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt
我见过你儿子坐在泥地上
eating his own belly button lint.
吃他肚脐里的棉絮团
Really Mom This is how you put out the fire
真的吗 妈妈 你就是这样灭火的
Well at least she got the worst of it.
至少她伤得比较重
How you figure that
你怎么得出这结论的
I ripped a big patch of hair out of her head.
我把她一大片头发给扯下来了
This will be healed in a week.
这淤青一周就会好
She will be wearing a hat till Labor Day.
而她到劳动节前都得戴帽子遮丑
I want to be just like you when I grow up.
我长大后要像你一样
No you don't. ‭Pick again.
-不行 -三思啊
Excuse me Ms. Hutchins
请问一下 哈钦斯老师
Hey Sheldon.
谢尔顿好啊
Can you recommend any books on overcoming phobias
你能推荐克服恐惧的书吗
That's in the self help section.
那些都在自助书籍区
Follow me I have read them all.
跟我来 我全都看过
Any phobia in particular Dogs.
-有特指哪种恐惧吗 -狗
Ah cynophobia. That's a good one.
恐犬病 这个不错
Did you know there's over 50 million dogs
你知道光在美国
just in the United States alone
就有超过5千万只狗吗
That's 50 million too many.
多余了5千万只狗
Here. I read this one to help with my haphephobia.
给 我读这本来改善我的接触恐惧症
Ah fear of being touched. I have that too. Was it useful
害怕被碰触 我也有这病症 有用吗
Well when someone's interested in touching me
等有人有兴趣碰我时
we'll find out.
就知道了
The basic premise of the book was that phobias
这本书的基本前提是
were overcome by taking incremental steps
想克服恐惧
toward confronting the phobia in question.
必须逐步面对该恐惧
In my case that started with watching a TV show
对我而言 就是从看一个
that was adored by children around the world
全天下小朋友都喜欢
but for me was the stuff of nightmares.
但于我如同噩梦的电视节目开始
Scooby Doo
史酷比
The next step was to go face to face
下一步就是跟真正的狗
with real dogs.
面对面
Albeit through a plate glass window.
虽然是透过一扇玻璃窗
Okay that's enough.
够了够了
And finally
最后
a close encounter of the third kind
第三种近距离接触
physical contact with a member of the canine species.
与一种犬科动物进行身体接触
Hello I'd like to speak with the veterinarian.
你好 我想找兽医
Well I was hoping you might have one or two dogs
我希望你有一两只处于麻醉状态的狗
under anesthesia that I might come by and pet.
能让我来摸一下
Sure I'll hold.
好的 我等着
Who are you talking to
你在跟谁打电话
The Medford Veterinary Clinic.
梅福德兽医诊所
Why
为什么
I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs
我想克服我对狗的恐惧
before it affects our family any further.
不然我们家还得受更大影响
Oh honey you don't have to worry about how it affects us.
宝贝 你不必担心我们会受影响
Meemaw got punched in the face because of me.
姥姥脸上被揍了一拳 都是因为我
No that wasn't because of you and for the record
不 那不是你造成的 再说了
your meemaw gets punched in the face all the time.
你姥姥脸上经常挨揍啊
Well I still think I need to take
我仍然认为我需要
some sort of positive action.
采取一些积极行动
Hello Yes hello
-喂 -喂 你好
Oh that's too bad.
真不幸
How about a small fluffy one that's recently died of old age
那有最近老死的蓬毛小型犬吗
Enough.
够了
Sorry.
抱歉
Now it says here in Mark 12 31
《马可福音》12章31节说到
that you should "Love your neighbor as yourself."
"要爱邻如己"
Anybody like to take a guess what that means Missy
有人想猜猜这是什么意思吗 米希
It means to be nice to the people who live next door.
意思是要对邻居友善
That's right.
没错
But everybody else can go to hell.
至于剩下的人就都下地狱去吧
Okay Missy we don't use that kind of language here.
米希 我们这儿不能说这种话
And if you think about it in this world
如果仔细想想 在现在这个时代
with all the ways we can travel everybody's your neighbor.
我们有那么多旅行方式 所有人都是你的邻居
Yes Sheldon.
谢尔顿
How do we love our neighbors
我们的妈妈互相讨厌
when our moms hate each other
我们又如何爱自己的邻居呢
Who does your mom hate Your mom.
-你妈妈讨厌谁 -你妈妈
Hey my mom hates your mom. Small world.
我妈妈也讨厌你妈妈 好巧哦
Okay let's hang on a second.
好了 先等一下
My mom also hates their grandma.
我妈妈也讨厌他们的姥姥
'Cause she lost a fight to her.
因为她打架输给她了
Nuh uh she won. She said so.
才不 她赢了 她说的
All right stop. Let's stop.
好了 都别说了
Now this might be hard to understand
这也许难以理解
but living a loving Christian life
但过充满爱的基督徒生活
isn't always the easiest thing to do.
并非易事
Yes Billy.
比利
My mom's not crazy about you either.
我妈妈也不太喜欢你
Just love your neighbor 'kay
爱你们的邻居 好吗
Now I am more than willing to look the other way
我的教区居民之间关系不好
when my parishioners don't get along with each other.
我很愿意睁只眼闭只眼
That sort of thing happens but when it becomes a problem
这是常有的事 但如果问题影响到孩子
for the children then I have to intervene.
我就得插手了
There's no problem here
根本没问题
other than these two thinking that they're better than me.
只除了这俩人觉得自己比我强
I don't think it I know it.
我不是觉得 我知道
I gave your mother a good smacking.
我狠揍了你妈一顿
I can give you one too.
我也可以让你尝尝厉害
That's big talk from somebody with a comb over.
头发横着梳掩饰秃头的人也好意思说
Ladies.
女士们
Do I need to remind you that we are Christians
我需要提醒你们 我们都是基督徒吗
In all our behavior in all our actions
在我们所有的行为行动中
we must constantly ask ourselves the question
我们都必须不断扪心自问
"What would Jesus do "
"耶稣会怎么做"
Can I say something
我能说几句吗
Would Jesus say it
耶稣会说那些吗
Never mind.
算了
In my life
在我人生中
I've often been accused of being a physical coward
我常被说是行动上的懦夫
and for the most part those accusations are correct.
大部分时候 这说法是对的
But there have been times when I've shown great courage.
但我也曾数次表现出巨大的勇气
This was one of them.
这就是其中一次
Hello Bucky.
巴基你好啊
Are you a good dog
你是乖狗狗吗
Please be a good dog.
拜托你乖乖的
Please.
拜托了
Now oftentimes when we don't like someone
很多时候 我们不喜欢别人
what's happening is we see something in them
是因为看到他们身上有我们自身也有
that we don't like in ourselves.
且不喜欢的的缺点
What are you saying
你在说什么
Really That was over your head
不是吧 你这都听不懂
I'm saying
我是说
y'all might have more in common than you think.
你们也许比想象中有更多共同点
Well don't say both their kids are "special."
千万别说他们的孩子都很"特别"
She does not like that.
她可不喜欢听这话
Okay.
好吧
Here we go.
来吧
Petting... the dog.
抚摸...狗狗
I'm doing it.
我做到了
I've conquered my phobia.
我战胜了我的恐惧
You're a good boy. Yes you are.
你是只乖狗狗 你就是
I'm sorry for the unkind things I said to you.
抱歉我对你说了那些恶毒话
Me too.
我也是
Connie
康妮
What
干嘛
Anything you'd like to say
你有话想说吗
Not particularly.
并没有
Mom.
妈妈
Okay.
好吧
I'm sorry for the things I said
抱歉我说了那些话
and you know what happened at the bowling alley.
在保龄球馆发生的事我也很抱歉
As am I.
我也是
Here.
I think this came out of your head.
这应该是从你脑袋上掉下来的
He licked me He licked me
它舔了我 它舔了我
The dog licked my tongue
那只狗舔了我的舌头
I can still taste it
我嘴里还有那个味道
Call 911
快打急救电话
I think Jesus might go check that out.
耶稣应该会去看看什么情况
How's it going in there baby
你在里面怎么样了 宝贝
Okay but we're gonna need more Listerine.
还行 但我需要更多漱口水
I'm proud of him for trying to overcome that damn dog phobia.
他试图克服恐狗症 我很骄傲
You should tell him that.
你应该告诉他啊
Well if he ever leaves that bathroom I will.
如果他从浴室出来 我会说的
What I can't figure out is why that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.
我想不明白的是 那只狗为何这么喜欢谢尔顿
Beats me.
问倒我了
You say his owner's in the slammer Yeah.
-你说它的主人进监狱了对吗 -是的
Wonder what kind of fella he is.
不知道他是什么样的人
百利牌发胶
It's a mystery.
真是个谜
I guess we'll never know.
恐怕我们永远都不会知道
Hey Moonpie.
小饼饼
I got you a little something to help you
我带了样东西
get over your fear of animals.
帮你克服对动物的恐惧
A tranquilizer gun
麻醉枪吗
A pet fish.
是一条宠物鱼
《鱼·库珀简史》
Why
为什么
Well I thought you could start small and then work your way up.
我想着你可以从小的开始 循序渐进
Look he's kind of cute.
瞧 它挺可爱的
He doesn't even care that I'm here. I like him.
它对我的存在毫不在意 我喜欢它
What are you gonna name him
你打算叫它什么
Fish.
Fish
鱼吗
I'm not ready to get attached.
我没准备好发生感情
Fish are kind of boring.
鱼有点无聊
I know isn't it great
我知道 太棒了不是吗
But you can't even pet 'em.
但连摸都不能摸
Maybe we can.
也许可以呢
Baby what's wrong
宝贝 出什么事了
I tried to pet Fish Ah he was so slimy
我试着抚摸鱼 它身体好黏滑
Well yeah he's a fish.
鱼就是这样的
I put my finger in the top of the tank then I touched him
我把手指伸进鱼缸 然后我碰了它
and he bit me
结果它咬我
Oh I'm sure he didn't bite you.
它肯定没有咬你啦
I can't breathe.
我无法呼吸了
His fish blood is mixing with my human blood.
它的鱼血现在跟我的人血混在一起了
Maybe he was just trying to give you a kiss. ‭No.
-也许它只是想亲你呢 -不
He hates me. I never want to see him again.
它讨厌我 我再也不想看到它
Oh Sheldon you're being silly.
谢尔顿 别犯傻了
Fish like this don't bite.
这种小鱼不会咬人
Look. See He's harmless.
你瞧 毫无杀伤力
Son of a bitch
妈了个逼
Dad killed my fish
爸爸杀了我的鱼
George
乔治
He'll be fine.
它不会有事的
Just got to put him back in the bowl.
把它放回缸里就好了
Oh George.
乔治
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