小谢尔顿-S02E04_小谢尔顿

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S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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I'm very cool.

非常酷

Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

For most students

对大多数学生来说

the weekend represented two days of fun freedom

周末代表着两天的欢乐与自由

and in the case of my brother

而对我哥哥来说

a chance to ignore all forms of hygiene.

那是一个无视任何卫生习惯的机会

Come on come on.

快点再走快一点

To me however it represented

对我来说周末代表着

an unwelcome break from education.

我不喜欢的学习中断期

Whoo Thank the Lord

感谢老天爷

But this wasn't a typical weekend

但这个周末与平常的不同

because this was the weekend I got to do my parents' taxes.

因为这个周末我可以帮我父母报税

Howdy do W 2.

欢迎欢迎收入税表

"If you were not covered by a retirement plan

"如果您没有养老金计划

but your spouse was see the worksheet on page 14."

但您的伴侣有请翻到表格第14页

Try and stop me.

没人能阻止我翻过去

Mom I was going through our expenditures

妈我在整理我们的支出的时候

and noticed our grocery bills are up 12% compared to last quarter.

发现我们买食品杂货账单比上一季高了12%

Any idea why

你知道为什么吗

There's a person at the end of the table that eats for free.

可能是因为桌尾有一个人总来蹭白食吧

There's a person at the other end of the table that eats for three.

是因为另一边桌尾有人得食三份吧

I've been buying groceries for the church food drive.

我买了不少食物拿去教堂捐给穷人

I think that's it.

应该是这个原因吧

Ooh I bet I could write that off

那我肯定这笔支出能冲销

including the gas it took to drive to the grocery store

连带开车去超市与教堂路上的油费

and then to the church.

都能一并冲销

With all that driving maybe she can count her car as a home office.

开这么多路或许能把车算作是家庭办公室

Sounds aggressive but I like how you're thinking.

挺激进的做法但我喜欢你这个思路

None of that is necessary it's for charity.

不需要搞那些这是为了做慈善

What's the point of charity if there are no tax benefits

如果没有税务福利那我们还做慈善干嘛

Eat your peas.

吃你的豆子

I like how he's thinking.

我喜欢他这个思路

You eat your peas too.

你也乖乖吃你的豆子

Dad banking question.

爸爸有银行相关问题

Whs that buddy

怎么啦小家伙

I noticed there's a check missing.

我发现有一张支票不见了

I have a copy of check 128

我这里有第128号支票的副本

and a copy of check 130 but 129 isn't there.

还有第130号支票的副本唯独缺了129号

Oh yeah don't worry about it.

没事啦不用担心这个

But I enjoy worrying I find it very relaxing.

但我就喜欢担心事情我觉得能放松心情

'Course you do.

真不意外

I balanced the rest of the account

我算了算帐

and it appears to be a check for $300.

那是一张300块的支票

All right well let's just put it down for $300 for miscellaneous.

好吧那你就写300块的杂项支出

I've never labeled anything miscellaneous in my life.

我此生没给任何东西标为杂项过

I'll go ask Mom.

我去问妈

Wait.

别走

I just remembered.

我想起来了

I gave the money to a friend.

我把钱给了一个朋友

Who ‭ It doesn't matter who.

-谁啊 -是谁不重要

Why'd you give it to them

那你为什么给人家

They needed it. It... it's like charity.

人家有需要嘛就像是做慈善

Ooh another write off excellent.

又可以冲销太棒了

What do you say we keep this quiet

你觉得我们能不说出去这事吗

You mean like a secret

你是指这事是个秘密

No no just you know something between you and me.

不也没有啦就是我跟你之间的一件事

What about Mom

那妈妈呢

Mom is on a need to know basis.

妈妈知道该知道的就行了

What if Mom needs to know

那万一妈妈需要知道呢

Okay it's a secret.

行吧这是个秘密

Just trust me.

你相信我

It is better for everyone if she doesn't know about this.

她不知道这件事对所有人都好

But I'm not good at keeping secrets.

但我很不擅长保密

It's not hard. Just keep your mouth shut.

不难啊你只要闭上嘴就行

But I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut.

但我很不擅长闭上嘴

Sheldon all you got to do is be cool.

谢尔顿你只需要上道酷一点就行

"Be cool."

"酷一点"

He might as well have asked me to fly around the backyard.

他干脆要求我在后院里飞翔算了

Good night baby. Night Mama.

-晚安宝贝 -晚安妈妈

Love you. Love you too.

-爱你 -我也爱你

Oh hello.

你好啊

I was just brushing my teeth like I do every night.

我刚才是如平常一样去刷牙了

Nothing new there.

完全没什么不同之处

You all right

你还好吧

Yes. I'm cool.

很好啊我很酷

Tell Sheldon what cool means.

告诉谢尔顿酷是什么意思吧

Hush.

你安静

Sweet dreams.

做个美梦

Love you.

我爱你

Love you too 'cause you're my mom.

我也爱你因为你是我老妈

You're so weird.

你真的好奇怪

More than usual

比平常怪吗

No I guess not.

那倒没有

Perfect.

完美

To avoid looking suspicious

为了不显可疑

I tried to interact with my mom as little as possible.

我试着尽量减少与我妈妈有互动

Thankfully it's rude to speak with your mouth full.

幸好有礼的孩子食不言寝不语

You look tired baby. Sleep okay

你看起来很累有睡好吗

So how big a tax refund you think we're gonna get

你觉得我们今年能退多少税回来呢

Mornin'. ‭ Mornin'.

-早安 -早

I slept in the nude last night.

我昨晚裸睡了

Felt every little breeze.

感受到了每一徐微风

Thank you for sharing that.

多谢你的分享啊

You're welcome.

不客气

Mare we got any batteries

阿丽家里还有电池吗

Look in the drawer by the refrigerator.

去冰箱旁边的抽屉看看

There was only so much food I could eat

我的食量有限不可能总在吃东西

so I started avoiding my mother whenever possible.

所以我剩下的时间都尽力躲我妈

What are you doing in there

你在里面干嘛

Keeping your secret.

为你保密

You got to pull it together.

你得振作起来啊

This is me pulling it together.

这已经是我振作的样子了

Pull harder. Find 'em

-那就再多振一点 -找到了吗

Yeah. Got 'em. Thanks.

找到啦谢谢

You're very welcome.

不客气

Hey have you noticed anything off with Sheldon

你有发现谢尔顿最近怪怪的吗

Uh no no no. Can't say that I have. Why

没没有啊没发现怎么了

He's been awful quiet and at the risk of being indelicate

他最近异常安静而且虽然这么做不好

he's gone several days without a bowel movement.

但我发现他有好几天没有上过大号了

How do you know that

你怎么知道的

Well I was worried about him

我很担心他嘛

so I took a look in his potty journal.

所以我去看了他的如厕日志

He's still keeping that thing huh

他还在写那玩意呢

Oh yeah that's why he wanted the Polaroid camera.

对啊所以他才跟我们要了一台拍立得相机

Uh well I'm sure he's gonna be fine

我相信他一定没事啦

uh but I'll keep an eye on him.

不过我会多留意他

Thank you. You got it.

-谢谢 -小事

She's gone. Thank you.

-她走了 -谢谢

Batteries are in this drawer.

电池在这个抽屉里

We got a problem.

有麻烦了

I don't know how much longer Sheldon can hold out.

我不知道谢尔顿还能保守秘密多久

This is why I did not want you to write a check.

这就是为什么我让你别用支票嘛

Well I'm sorry but I didn't have that kind of cash lying around.

给您添麻烦啦但我平常没那么多现金

I do not want Mary to find out about this.

我不想玛丽发现这件事

Well what about Sheldon

那谢尔顿怎么办

The kid hasn't pooped in days he might pop.

这孩子好多天没上大号了他会炸的

Slip a little Metamucil into his apple juice he'll be fine.

给他的苹果汁里加点纤维粉就没事了

Why don't we just come clean

我们就去坦白不好吗

All right sure we could do that.

好啦我们是也可以去坦白

You could rat me out to Mary and...

你可以去跟玛丽告我状

I could tell her what you did at the church picnic.

那我也可以告诉她你在教会野餐时做的事

Come on.

你不是吧

Now you're just playing dirty.

你也太损了吧

We sink or swim together George.

乔治我们生一起生死就一起死

We sink or swim together.

生一起生死一起死

Grandmas are supposed to be nice.

当姥姥的不都应该很善良吗

What went wrong with you

你是哪里出了毛病

Avoiding my mother in our own house

在我们自己家中躲我妈妈

was proving to be difficult

已被证明十分有难度

so it was time to get creative.

所以我得想点妙招

Hello. I'd like to book a room in your hotel.

您好我想在你们的旅馆订个房间

I'd be arriving tonight.

我今晚就要入住

No it's just me.

不就我一个人

Ooh a queen bed that sounds fancy.

女皇[大号]床吗听起来很华丽

And how much would this room cost

那这房间的房费是多少呢

Wow. Is that per month

这价格是月费吗

Per day

是一晚的啊

By any chance do you have a children's rate

那冒昧问一下你们有没有儿童优惠价呢

We've been friends for a while now haven't we

我们当朋友也有些日子了吧

I suppose so.

大概吧

Given that how would you feel about a sleepover

所以你觉得去对方家过夜玩怎么样

Sure. Your mom lets you watch TV.

没问题你妈妈都让你看电视

Jake and the Fatman is on tonight.

今晚有我喜欢的刑侦犯罪剧呢

I meant we could sleep at your house.

我是说我去你们家过夜

But you'll miss Jake and the Fatman.

但这样你就会错过看剧啊

Even better. So what do you say

那更好了你意下如何

I'll have to ask my mom.

我得先请示一下我妈妈

Well be sure to tell her I'm clean I'm well behaved

那你记得告诉她我很讲卫生又有礼貌

and if you don't have a lot of room

而且我还不占地方

I can fit in really tight spaces.

能塞进特别窄小的空间

So your first sleepover.

第一次去朋友家过夜

Pretty exciting huh

挺兴奋的吧

No. It's not exciting it's constipating

才不兴"粪"呢我是便秘

and I'm only doing it to avoid Mom.

我这么做也只是为了躲老妈

But still it's your first sleepover.

但始终还是你第一次去朋友家过夜

It's fun stuff.

很好玩的

Okay I know you're having a tough time with this

好啦我知道你心里憋得慌

but... you're doing great.

但... 你表现得很棒了

You spend some time at Tam's house

你去丹家玩一玩

you know clear your head and come back home refreshed.

把脑海里的烦恼甩去然后崭然一新地回家

And then I can tell Mom

然后我就能告诉妈妈了吗

Oh no you can never tell Mom.

不行你永远不能告诉你妈

Wouldn't it be easier to just be honest

你直接坦白不会比较简单吗

Usually it would be but...

通常会但这事嘛...

sometimes the truth can hurt people. Hmm

有时候真相会伤人

We wouldn't want to hurt Mom right

我们不想让妈妈伤心的吧

Of course not.

当然不

Attaboy.

乖孩子

Hey here's a funny prank you can try tonight.

教你一个今晚你可以玩的恶作剧

When Tam falls asleep put some shaving cream in his hand

等丹睡着了之后你就挤刮胡膏到他手上

and then tickle his nose.

然后瘙痒他的鼻子

Why

为什么

'Cause then he'll go to

因为他就会...

you know scratch his nose

你懂的给鼻子抓痒嘛

and he gets shaving cream on his face.

然后他就会把刮胡膏弄得满脸

And then what

然后呢

Well... that that's it.

就这样啊

But I'm a guest in their home

但我是去人家家里做客

and that doesn't seem like a very good way

用这种方式回报人家

to repay their kindness.

大方收留我不太好吧

Never mind.

算了

And what if the shaving cream gets in his eyes

而且如果刮胡膏弄到他眼睛里怎么办

That would sting.

会很刺痛的吧

Sorry I mentioned it.

抱歉我不该提的

Also I didn't bring my own shaving cream.

而且我没带自己的刮胡膏

I'd have to use his dad's and that...

我就得用他爸爸的这样...

Forget it

别说了

Hello.

您好

Hi. You must be Mrs....

你好你一定是...

Tam's mom.

丹的母亲

I'm Sheldon's dad George Cooper.

我是谢尔顿的爸爸乔治·库珀

Nice to meet you.

幸会

Thanks for letting him spend the night.

谢谢你收留他过夜

It's his first sleepover. He's excited.

这是他第一次到朋友家过夜他很兴奋

Actually I'm quite apprehens...

其实我还挺...

He's really looking forward to it.

他十分期待

Uh in case something comes up just give us a holler.

如果有任何事情喊我们一声就行

I mean a call. If you hollered we wouldn't hear you.

我是指打电话如果你用喊的我们家听不到

That that was a joke.

我刚才是在说笑啦

Ha ha ha

哈哈哈

Okay buddy have fun.

好啦小家伙玩开心点

Visiting Tam's house for the first time

第一次到丹家

was an emotional roller coaster.

简直像坐情感过山车

For example it's traditional in Vietnamese homes

比如说越南人有个传统

to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance.

会在入门处摆放可怕的宗教肖像

I did not like that.

我不喜欢

However it's also customary

不过他们通常

to not wear shoes around the house

进屋后会脱掉鞋子

for sanitary reasons.

出于卫生考量

I did like that.

这一点我喜欢

Interestingly

有趣的是

one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking

越南菜其中一种主要成分

is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce.

是一种叫鱼露的刺鼻调味料

I did not like that.

我不喜欢

But before every meal

但每次吃饭前

it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face.

大家都会先洗手洗脸

I did like that.

这一点我喜欢

Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household.

越南人家里通常不会有叉子

I did not like that.

我不喜欢

And instead of napkins there was one towel

另外餐桌上没有纸巾

for everyone to share at the table.

大家共用一条毛巾擦嘴

Seriously what are they thinking

说真的他们是不是傻

I can't help thinking how odd it is

我还是觉得好奇怪

that Shelly volunteered to go on a sleepover.

谢利居然会主动到别人家过夜

Oh I don't know.

我也不知道

Hmm He's growing up.

他长大了

It's natural for a young boy to want to spread his wings a little bit

小男生想出去闯闯尝试新事物

try something new.

是很正常的

That's nonsense.

胡说八道

Last week I brought home

上周我买回家的

the Raisin Bran with the sugar on the raisins.

葡萄干麦片的葡萄干上有糖粉

He almost lost his mind.

他差点崩溃暴走

If you ask me

要我说

you're worried about nothing.

你是杞人忧天

Maybe it's me.

说不定是我

Maybe I did something to upset him.

是我做了什么让他不开心了

What are you talking about

你在说什么傻话

He loves you like crazy.

他爱死你了

Much more than he loves this one.

比对他爸的爱多多了

It's true.

是真的

I don't know.

我不知道

I just feel like something isn't right.

就是觉得有什么不对劲

Mom

妈妈

I got my hair stuck in my zipper

我头发被拉链夹住了

That's the kid you need to be worried about.

你该担忧的是那个孩子

Okay Connie why don't we just come clean

康妮我们何不坦白告诉她呢

No.

不行

You heard her.

你也听到她说的了

Now she's blaming herself.

她现在在责怪自己

And Sheldon's so upset

而谢尔顿很难过

he's he's acting like a regular kid.

他都像个正常孩子一样了

All right let's tell her. Thank you.

-好吧我们告诉她 -谢谢你

But first I'm gonna tell her what you did at the picnic.

但我要先告诉她你野餐时做了什么事

Oh Mary Okay okay shh.

-玛丽啊 -好了安静

I don't know how much longer we can keep this going.

我不知道我们还能瞒她多久

I'm willing to find out.

我拭目以待

"卡亚战神"

So this game is called Mystic Warlords of Ka'a.

这个游戏叫做"卡亚战神"

It's pretty fun.

很好玩的

There are six kinds of secret warlords...

里面有六种秘密的战神

Secret warlords. It's a secret. Secret.

-秘密的战神 -这是秘密秘密

It's a secret.

这是个秘密

Have you noticed anything off with Sheldon

你有发现谢尔顿最近怪怪的吗

Something between me and you.

就是我跟你之间的一件事

Mom is on a need to know basis.

妈妈知道该知道的就行了

I took a little look in his potty journal.

我去看了他的如厕日志

It's a secret. Several days without a bowel movement.

-这是个秘密 -我发现他有好几天没有上过大号了

Sheldon. Secret. ‭Secret.

-谢尔顿 -秘密秘密

A secret. Sheldon.

-秘密 -谢尔顿

Did you hear anything I said

你有听到我说的话吗

Sorry I was reliving a traumatic experience.

抱歉我刚才在重温一段创伤的经历

What do you mean

什么意思

Tam I have a secret that's weighing on me

丹我有个秘密快把我压垮了

and I need to tell someone.

我得说出来

Okay. Tell me.

那告诉我吧

But I promised I wouldn't.

但我保证过不会说出来

Okay. Then don't.

那就别说了

But it's driving me crazy.

但我快被逼疯了

Too bad you're not Catholic.

可惜你不是天主教徒

You could confess it to a priest.

不然就可以跟神父告解了

That's a great idea.

这是个好主意

You're Catholic. I'll confess it to you.

你是天主教徒我向你告解好了

I'm not a priest.

但我不是神父

I'm not a Catholic.

我也不是天主教徒

It makes perfect sense.

所以这么做完全合理

Okay whenever you're ready.

好吧你随时可以开始

What are you doing

你在干什么

I'm assuming the position.

我在进入角色

Okay.

好吧

Forgive me Tam for I have sinned.

原谅我丹我有罪

This is my first confession.

这是我第一次做告解

I forgive you my son.

我原谅你孩子

I was doing my parents' taxes and noticed a check was missing.

我帮爸妈报税时发现有张支票不见了

I asked my father about it... As I walked Tam

-我去问我爸 -随着我给丹

through the whole sordid affair

娓娓道来这件丑事

I could feel a weight lifting off my shoulders.

我能感觉到肩头的重担慢慢减轻

It was a relief to finally unburden myself

终于把内心的秘密说了出来

of this deception.

我如释重负

By the time I reached the end

等我把这事说完后

I felt like a new person.

我仿佛脱胎换骨

That's the whole story.

整件事就是这样

Cool. Can we play now

好能开始玩了吗

And now that my conscience had been cleared

现在我良心上的巨石放下了

my colon was ready to do the same.

结肠里的"巨屎"也要蜂拥而出

Excuse me. I need to use your bathroom

不好意思我要借用一下洗手间

Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed.

谢谢你把床让给我睡

My father taught me that we must always honor our guests

我爸说必须以礼待客

and treat them with the utmost courtesy.

给他们最好的款待

The Vietnamese are a very welcoming people.

越南人很好客

Yeah that hasn't always worked out for us.

是的但我们越南人也因此吃了亏

Do you think your dad would ever ask you

你觉得你爸会不会有一天

to keep a secret from your mom

叫你瞒着你妈一件事

Oh no.

不会

He's so honest it's annoying.

他特别诚实很讨厌

Enough talking.

别再聊天了

Sleep now.

赶紧睡觉

She's just annoying.

她就是纯讨人厌

Well you did it.

你做到了

How was your first sleepover

第一次到朋友家过夜怎么样啊

They feed you any weird food

他们给你吃奇怪的食物了吗

When I was in 'Nam we ate fish soup for breakfast.

我在越南时我们早餐都喝鱼汤

Sheldon I'm talking to you.

谢尔顿我在跟你说话

Well I'm not talking to you.

但我不要跟你说话

Okay what's going on

怎么了

After having my first good night's sleep in a week

我终于睡了这一周以来第一次好觉

I woke up with a fresh perspective.

我睡醒后有了全新的看法

And that is...

什么看法

It was irresponsible of you

你让我保守那个秘密

to burden me with that secret.

是不负责任的行为

Sheldon we've been through this.

谢尔顿我们聊过这个了

It's complicated.

这事很复杂

While I may not look up to you from an intellectual standpoint

虽然我可能没把你当成学术上的榜样

I've always looked up to you as a role model.

但我一直把你视为人生楷模

I can't do that anymore.

我以后无法这么做了

And don't worry we made a deal.

别担心我答应过你

I'll continue to keep your secret.

我会继续保守你的秘密

What's up

什么事

Um I need to tell you something.

我有件事要告诉你

What did you do

你做了什么

When Sheldon was doing our taxes

谢尔顿给我们计税时

he noticed a missing check.

发现少了一张支票

What did you do

你到底做了什么

Before I answer do you trust me enough

在我回答前你是否足够信任我

to understand it was for a good reason

明白我那么做是有好理由的

and j just leave it at that

不会再追问细节

What did you do

你究竟做了什么

It's all your mother's fault. She is a bad person.

都是你妈的错她这人可坏了

I've been telling you for years.

我跟你说了好几年了

What did you do

你做了什么

Okay now before I answer that

在我回答之前

Just tell me what you did.

快告诉我你做了什么

I got a DWI.

我被开了酒驾罚单

Mom

妈妈

It's not as bad as it sounds.

没有听起来那么严重

How is driving drunk not bad

醉驾哪里不严重了

I wasn't exactly driving.

当时其实不是我在开车

I don't follow.

我没听懂

I was at the dog track with Georgie

我跟小乔治去看赛狗

and I had a few...

我喝了几...

Georgie

小乔治

With God as my witness

老天爷作证

I've never been to the dog track in my life.

我这辈子从没去看过赛狗

She knows.

她知道了

Oh I've been there a bunch.

我去过好多次

Will someone please tell me what happened

谁来告诉我到底发生了什么

Okay me and Meemaw were in the bar at the track...

好吧我和姥姥在赛狗场的酒吧里

You took him to a bar

你居然带他进酒吧

He wasn't drinking.

他又没喝酒

She had a few too many margaritas

她玛格丽塔酒喝多了

so I drove us home.

于是由我开车回家

But you don't have a license.

但你没有驾照啊

That's why we swapped places after the cop pulled us over.

所以我们被交警拦下来后交换了位置

Oh dear Lord.

我的老天爷

I had nothing to do with this part.

这部分不关我的事

Shut up.

闭嘴

Will do.

已闭

I didn't want Georgie to get into trouble

我不希望小乔治惹上麻烦

so I got behind the wheel

所以在警察过来前

before the cop walked up.

我换到了驾驶位上

And then I got arrested and uh

然后我被捕了

he bailed me out.

他来保释我

So you all thought you should keep this from me

你们都觉得这事不该告诉我

Absolutely. ‭ 100%. ‭

-当然 -毫无疑问

Okay here's what's gonna happen

好吧接下来这么办

you and you are staying at her house

你和你都到她家去住

until I say otherwise.

直到我改变主意为止

One could argue I was the hero in this story.

有人会说我其实在这次事件中是英雄

You went gambling and you drove without a license

你去赌博并无证驾驶

and you lied to my face.

还当着我的面说谎

Heroically.

像个英雄般

Go.

出去

I love everything about this.

这场大戏的每一部分我都好爱

I'm guessing you're mad at me.

你应该生我气了吧

Aw forget about it.

算了吧

I appreciate you not...

很感谢你没有...

ratting me out about the picnic.

抖出我野餐的事

Well we had a deal.

我们说好了的

Besides your marriage is already hanging by a thread.

再说你的婚姻已经岌岌可危了

It is dangling there.

确实命悬一线

All right well I'm gonna turn in.

好了我去睡了

Good night.

晚安

Night

晚安

Hello

喂

So get a load of this.

你听仔细了

Last church picnic your husband snuck in a six pack

上次教会野餐你老公偷带了六罐啤酒

polished off the whole thing

一个人全喝光了

then went to wait in line for the bathroom...

然后去排队上厕所

You got an extra toothbrush

你有新牙刷吗

Under the sink darlin'.

在水槽底下亲爱的

Thanks.

谢了

You got it.

不客气

So then the big gorilla decides he doesn't want to wait in line

之后这只大猩猩决定不排队了

so he stumbles over to the church vegetable garden

于是他摇晃着跑到教会的菜园

and proceeds to irrigate the whole damn thing.

好好地灌溉了那块地

I've eaten those vegetables.

我吃过那里种的蔬菜

Sweet dreams.

祝你睡得香

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