Previously on Young Sheldon...

You know that Mr. Rosenbloom

with the furniture store over by the steak house

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He's asked me to dinner.

Is he your boyfriend

Well he's one of them so let's not bring that up.

All right so what can I do for you

What's it like to be Jewish

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Oh it's terrible. I don't recommend it.

Yeah

Connie I would like to have dinner with you tonight.

This is very promising.

Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw

had their first sleepover.

It's a big step in their relationship.

I'm going to go congratulate them.

Hey put on a jacket it's chilly out.

I have only seen you eat vanilla ice cream for dessert.

Why is that Well I've taken a page

from the great physicist Richard Feynman.

In order to have one less decision in his life

he decided that dessert would always be chocolate ice cream.

Sounds like it could get kind of boring.

Oh it does.

But over the last 35 years

I believe I've saved at least a day and a half.

Well you have to let me cook for you sometime.

But I enjoy cooking for you.

It's a means of expressing my affection.

It also allows me to control the amount of garlic

which gives me the burps.

Well I do make a mean barbecue

and I promise I can make it garlic free.

Excellent

Next time you can express your affection for me.

Excuse me.

I bet it's Sheldon checking on us.

What

Connie It's Ira.

I'm uh...

I It's Sheldon.

He... sounds a little agitated.

I'm gonna take it in the other room.

Hello again.

Listen I'm wondering what you're doing this weekend.

I miss you.

Cool cool.

You want to go to a movie

or bowl a few frames

Uh you know listen it's not a great time right now.

Um I have a little family over

and can I call you later

Yeah. Yeah I'm sorry. I I don't want to interrupt.

I just miss hearing your voice.

Well... here it is

coming right up out of my throat.

Um okay

so uh uh bye.

Bye bye.

How's Sheldon doing

What Sheldon.

You were talking to Sheldon.

Oh... right yes.

Did you know he has a picture of that fella Feynman in his bedroom

What So do I.

Peas in a pod.

Oh darn.

Excuse me.

Yes

How's it going

It's Sheldon again.

What do you mean "again"

I recently read an article

about a superconducting supercollider

that might be built in Texas.

What about it

Well I thought if there was a lull

in your dinner conversation

you might casually drop it as an icebreaker.

Our dinner conversation is going just fine.

Well now you have it in your back pocket.

Carry on.

Question will we be engaging in coitus tonight

Because I believe I pulled a hamstring

on the bike ride over.

Why didn't you say something

Well I was trying to display machismo

but it's becoming more and more clear

that there's something askew in my groin.

Oh John...

we don't have to do anything.

We can just be together.

But if it's all the same to you

I'd like to give it the old college try.

Nobody else is stronger than I am

Yesterday I moved a mountain

I bet I could be your hero

I am a mighty little man

I am a mighty little man

Here you go.

Thank you.

So you're really gonna go out

with this furniture store fella

while seeing Dr. Sturgis

It's called playing the field.

And if you'd done some of that

you wouldn't be saddled with Bluto in there.

That's not nice.

And is that really necessary

The Italians call it "Corretto."

It means correcting the drink.

So a drink without alcohol in it is wrong

Italian people they know what's up.

All right one issue at a time.

So you're really gonna date two men simultaneously

Two that you know of. Oh Mom.

Come on don't be such a prude.

I'm not gonna have any babies.

I don't need these men to take care of me.

Why shouldn't I just enjoy myself

Well it isn't very Christian of you.

I got no argument there.

Salute

Yeah that fixed it.

Oh Meemaw no.

Hey who are you calling

Dr. Sturgis.

Why

I saw Meemaw get in a car with Mr. Rosenbloom.

I don't know if it really happened this way

but to my nine year old mind

my mother was flying.

So how's the brisket

It's good.

It ain't my brisket but it's good.

I should take you to New York

so you could taste some authentic Jewish brisket.

How's it different

Well it's pretty much the same except

it's it's a lot juicier and you can feel the fat

go directly to your heart.

Oh boy...

I miss that laugh.

So uh...

what do you think of that idea

What idea Going to New York.

Maybe we'll catch a couple of Broadway shows

uh see some sights.

Oh Ira gee...

I don't know.

Seems like a big step. Is it

I think at this time of our lives

we should travel see the world.

I guess. I mean

we're not getting any younger.

What's that supposed to mean

I mean I mean I'm not getting any younger.

You on the other hand

you are a blossoming tulip.

But I still don't understand.

Your grandmother's a single lady.

She's not committed to any one fella

and she wants to see what her options are.

But Dr. Sturgis is the best option.

Well you might feel that way

but she's not so sure.

Then we need to tell her. I'll make the call.

No. We need to mind our business

and maybe pray for her to make the right decision.

We're gonna leave this up to God

You think you could do a better job than God

Maybe not with creating the universe

but I bet I could free the Hebrews

with one good plague.

You can get lox bagels

all the trimmings at 3 30 in the morning.

Why would I want that

Well you wouldn't. I mean it's too heavy.

But you could if you wanted.

So what do you think

Oh Ira I don't think so.

All right what do you say

to a weekend in New Orleans huh

We could do one of those Carnival Cruise things.

You're killing me.

I can't do this I...

Can't do what

Ira you're just a wonderful man.

Oh boy I don't like where this is going.

But to tell you the truth

I'm seeing somebody else.

And we've gone there.

I thought I could do it uh... you know date both of you

but I I can't I can't I just...

I'm not cut out for it.

Okay suggestion.

And maybe you've already thought of this...

but what do you say you break up with him

and only see me

I'm sorry.

I thought I could handle this.

It's okay. You know

you get older and you think your skin is thicker...

It's okay. ...and your heart is tougher.

But it's not it's the other way around.

I hope this guy knows what a gift he has in you.

Well "gift" is a strong word

but he's enthusiastic.

May you both be very happy together

I don't want to celebrate too soon

but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom are back and he was crying.

There'll be more updates as they happen.

I'm done.

Can I please be excused

Good Lord did you even chew it

Not the recommended amount no.

What's your hurry

I need to get back to my viewing post.

Fine go ahead.

What's he expect to see staring at Meemaw's house

Did you just join this family

The kid's an oddball.

He's just excited that Meemaw's dating

a man he looks up to.

I wish she could date Tony Danza that'd be cool.

What is it with you and Tony Danza

Well the show doesn't come out and say it

but I'm pretty sure he's the boss.

I think the blonde lady's the boss.

Angela

Who's the oddball now

I'm warning you

once you try my barbecue

it will ruin you to all the others.

That's what happened to me with quilted toilet paper.

Once I tried the good stuff

everything else felt like a Brillo pad.

You paint quite the picture don't you

Oh gosh.

Excuse me.

Sheldon this is not cute anymore.

Connie Tucker

Yes

I have a dinette set from Rosenbloom's Furniture.

I didn't buy any furniture.

I think it's a gift.

Oh boy.

I bent down to pick up a book

and I'll be darned if she didn't sneak a look at my derriere.

Oh man.

You won't believe what's happening at Meemaw's house.

Is it more interesting than Who's the Boss

Doubt it.

Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture. Ira speaking.

Why are you sending me furniture

I've decided I can't go away quietly.

I'm fighting for your love.

With a dinette set

Oh this isn't just any dinette set. It's our biggest seller.

And it's not pressed wood

it's oak

Ira I don't like this.

Would you prefer a leather sectional

Uh what's going on

Can I call you back

I look forward to it.

You shouldn't.

I guess you could say

one of my former boyfriends

is trying to win me back with furniture.

Huh. Impressive.

This is real oak.

Was that him on the phone

Yes. I'm sorry.

What

Being challenged by another man

is making you more attractive to me.

I don't follow.

I'll have to do some research

but I'm guessing this is a genetic instinct

that's raising my libido.

I need a drink.

Can you believe he tried to win me back with a dinette set

I'd give you a dinette set if you'd leave Texas.

So would you return it

Hell no I'm keeping it.

But then you'll be beholden to him.

Would you ever take Ira back

I don't know.

He's sweet as he can be but...

there's just something about John.

He's like a cute little teddy bear you know

A brilliant

bicycle riding

teddy bear.

I don't even understand half of what he says.

when he's not around I just miss him.

Sounds like you're falling in love.

Maybe I am.

Excellent. I love him too.

Get out of here

If you don't understand what Dr. Sturgis says

I'm happy to explain it to you.

Get

Excuse me.

I'm looking for Ira.

At your service. What can I do for you

You sir have overstepped your bounds.

I'm sorry what

Miss Constance Tucker

made it clear your courtship was no longer welcome

and you responded with six chairs

a table and an expansion leaf.

Who are you

John Sturgis

the man she chose

and your romantic rival.

I I'm sorry wait what what is it you want from me

I want you to give up your pursuit of Connie.

All right I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my store.

Very well.

The line in the sand has been drawn.

Cross it at your own peril.

What was that

You heard me.

Sir I am a man with feelings.

And you have hurt them.

I know you've had a number of...

gentleman callers

but I've never heard you speak like this before.

"Gentleman callers"

And we wonder where Sheldon gets it.

I'm sorry y'all find this funny

but this is the first time

my mother's expressed real interest in a man

since Dad died.

Forgive me for wanting to know more.

You really want to know more

Imagine you're getting on in years

you and your husband about to retire

get a little timeshare in Sarasota

and... suddenly...

he's gone

and you're all alone.

You mourn you cry

but eventually you move on.

You start dating a little

and it's all good fun.

But always in the back of your mind

there's that question...

"Will I be alone in the end "

Why y'all looking at me for

Haven't slept in days.

It's like I'm a lovesick teenager

except I remember the Truman administration.

Your feelings are understandable.

Connie is a remarkable woman.

Yes she is.

But again I'm sorry. I should never have called you weird.

I mean eh it was rude.

I've been called much worse.

A professor once called me ostrobogulous.

I had to look that one up.

What's it mean

That I'm a weirdo.

John you're a great guy.

Well you too

But I hope you understand I just...

I can't give up on Connie.

That's all right.

To tell you the truth

I'm finding the competition quite exhilarating.

You are

Oh yes.

The night the dinette set arrived

I did my first push up in 40 years.

I'm sorry but I find that to be uh

what's the word astro boobulous

Now give me your best price

on one of these

with a cup holder.

John What a pleasant surprise.

I have some news for you.

What is that

I went to the furniture store and spoke to Ira.

Why would you do that

To demand that he respect your wish to be left alone.

John it was not your place to do that.

Well if it helps

he doesn't plan on leaving you alone.

What the hell were you thinking

That I was being chivalrous.

By going behind my back

You seem upset.

I am upset

And how I handle Ira is my business

Well I hope you do it gently.

He's very vulnerable these days.

You're friends now

Well I wouldn't say friends

but I could see over time

you know we might...

Are you two fighting

Oh good.

I was almost certain that we were.

We are.

I'm confused. Me too.

Is this because you went to the furniture store

He knows about this

Yes. All right now listen

if this relationship's gonna have any chance at all

we have to lay down some ground rules.

Great. I love rules.

I do too.

I don't want you talking to him about anything

having to do with anything about us.

Same with you.

And I want you to stop

spying on me with those binoculars

like you're on some kind of African safari.

And you cannot talk to Ira

or any of my ex boyfriends for that matter.

This list is getting long.

Maybe we should write it down.

In that moment

I had an epiphany.

I could draw up a contract for any social relationship.

It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity

in a world that was often hard to understand.

Article three

Sheldon will not spy

on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

Type that one in bold.

Please sign and date.

You know Sheldon I'm a notary if that helps.

Just when I thought you couldn't get cooler.

I would go on

to draw up such contracts throughout my life

with roommates

with my wife.

Even with my own children.