生活大爆炸-S06E22_生活大爆炸

S01

The interface is pretty simple.

操作界面很简单

You put your horizontal "X" coordinate here

你把横坐标"X"值输在这里

vertical "Y" coordinate here.

纵坐标"Y"值输入这里

When you're happy with those you press this button.

等数值让你满意了就可以按下发射按钮

Got it.

懂了

Leonard you'll never guess who I just found online

莱纳德你肯定猜不到我在网上找到了谁

Nice shot.

瞄得真准

Eh his giant head did most of the work.

都是他大头的功劳

Very mature.

真是"成熟"啊

You're lucky I'm out of Silly String.

算你们走运我现在不玩那种喷彩摩丝了

As I was saying Leonard

我刚才是说莱纳德

you'll never guess who I just found online

你肯定猜不到我在网上找到了谁

Professor Proton.

质子教授

You're kidding.

开什么玩笑

He's still alive Yes

-他居然还健在 -没错

Who's Professor Proton

谁是质子教授

He was the host of this great

他是一档超棒节目的主持人...

Yes

太棒了

Sorry tell me about Professor Proton.

抱歉跟我说说质子教授

Professor Proton hosted my favorite science show

质子教授是我小时候最爱看的

when I was a child.

一档科学节目的主持人

I never missed an episode.

我从未落下过一集

He demonstrated scientific principles using everyday objects.

他通过利用日常用品来实践科学原理

It was pretty cool.

超级酷的

Aw so cute when you use the word "Cool" wrong.

你错用"酷"来形容傻事的时候真可爱

Like when kids say "pasghetti."

小孩就常把"意大利面"说错成"大意利面"

Oh dear Lord

天啊

Leonard look

莱纳德快看

He's still available for parties and events.

还能请他出席聚会或其他场合

We should hire him.

我们应该请他来

Hire him to do what

请他来干嘛

Well whatever we want.

做任何我们想做的事

Hang out do experiments

一起玩做实验

make him take 12 pictures with us

跟他拍12张不同的照片

so we can make a calendar.

然后做成日历

It would be pretty awesome to hang out with him.

能跟他一起玩一定超级棒

I just used "awesome" wrong didn't I

我也错用"超级棒"这词了对吗

Well I'm E mailing him right now.

我现在就发邮件给他

Do you remember his old theme song

你还记得他节目的主题曲吗

Of course I do.

当然记得

Grab your goggles put your lab coat on

拿起你的护目镜穿上你的实验袍

Here he comes Professor Proton.

质子教授大驾光临

第六季第二十二集

生活大爆炸

Hey I just found out I have to be at

我刚发现我这周末

the telescope lab all weekend.

都得待在望远镜实验室

Any chance you and Bernadette could take care of my dog

你和伯纳黛特能照顾下我的狗狗吗

Why don't you put her in a kennel

你何不直接把她关进狗笼里

Why don't you put your mother in a home

你何不把你妈送去养老院

To be honest she'd do better in the kennel.

老实说她更适合关笼子里

I'll talk to Bernie. I'm sure it's fine.

我会跟妮妮说应该没问题

Thank you.

谢谢你

It's happening It's happening

美梦成真了美梦成真了

Professor Proton is coming to our house.

质子教授要来我们家了

You're kidding

真的假的

You mean the guy who used to host that lame kids show

你是说那个主持白痴儿童节目的人吗

And you just got yourself uninvited.

就凭你这句话你被拒之门外了

See I told you I'd find a tactful way to do that.

瞧我就说我能巧妙地踢开他

How'd you get him to come to your house

你怎么能让他去你家

As Professor Proton always says

质子教授曾经说过

"There is no problem you can't solve

"世上无难事

if you use your noggin." And he wrote him a check.

-只怕有脑人" -他花钱请的

Yeah that too. Big check.

对没错花大钱哟

Uncle Howard

霍华德叔叔

Cinnamon's here for her sleepover party

小肉桂来你家过夜啦

You know if you had a stroke she'd eat you right

你知道如果你中风倒下她会把你吃掉对吧

And it would be my pleasure to be her num num.

我很乐意成为她的美食

Okay so what do I need to know to take care of her

好吧我该怎么照顾她

It's very simple.

很简单

For breakfast she has an egg white frittata.

早餐她要吃蛋白菜肉馅煎饼

Feel free to give her a choice

可以给她吃自制薯条

of home fries or an English muffin but not both.

或是英式松饼但不能两样都给她吃

We're watching our weight.

我们在一起控制体重嘛

Uh for dinner something simple

正餐的话可以随便吃点

a veal chop some scampi whatever you like.

一份小牛排几个虾随便什么都行

Classy dog. Yes.

-真高贵的狗狗 -没错

Also don't forget to close the toilet

对了别忘了关厕所门

or she'll drink out of it.

不让她会把马桶的水喝光的

I feel for ya.

我深感同情

I've got a psychotic mommy too.

因为我也有一个疯子老妈

Leonard are you in bed

莱纳德你睡觉了吗

Yes. Me too.

-睡了 -我也是

Great.

很好

I can't sleep.

我睡不着

Well I can so shut up.

我睡得着麻烦别吵我

Do you realize that in less than nine hours

你知道还有不到九个小时

Arthur Jeffries a.k.a. Professor Proton

亚瑟·杰弗里斯也就是质子教授

will be in our apartment

将会大驾光临我们的公寓吗

Sheldon you know that if you stay up all night

谢尔顿你知道如果你整夜不睡觉

you're gonna be sleepy tomorrow.

你明天就会犯困

And a sleepy Sheldon is a cranky Sheldon.

犯困的谢尔顿就会变狂躁古怪

And a cranky Sheldon...

而狂躁古怪的谢尔顿

is actually no different than a regular Sheldon.

其实跟平时的谢尔顿也没什么区别

Good night

晚安

I'm thinking of wearing a tuxedo.

我在考虑明天穿燕尾服

That's not ridiculous. Good night.

那一点也不可笑晚安

Do you have cufflinks

你有袖扣吗

No. Ah just as well.

-没有 -无所谓了

Where can you rent a tuxedo 3 00 in the morning

反正凌晨3点也借不到燕尾服

Okay good night.

好吧晚安

Nice to meet you Professor Proton.

很高兴见到您质子教授

Nice to meet you Professor Proton.

很高兴见到您质子教授

Nice to meet you Professor Proton.

很高兴见到您质子教授

Nice to meet you Prof...

很高兴见到您质子...

Leonard

莱纳德

What

又干嘛

I still can't sleep.

我还是睡不着

She really tuckered herself out at the park huh

今天在公园真是把这小家伙累坏了

Yeah you two were so cute playing together.

是啊你们俩一起玩的时候真可爱

It was kind of fun throwing a ball

玩扔球游戏时

and not having anyone laugh at me.

没人笑我的感觉真好

And you were sweet not to throw it too far

你真贴心没把球扔太远

so she didn't wear out her tiny legs.

是怕她的小短腿捣腾坏了吧

Yeah that's what I was doing.

是啊我扔得近完全是出于担心

You know there were a few moments today

今天有些时候

when I almost felt like we were a little family.

我几乎觉得我们就是个小家庭

Really Yeah.

-真的吗 -真的

I never thought of myself as a mom

我从来没想过要当一位母亲

but when the three of us were out there having fun

但当今天我们仨在外面一起玩时

I felt like maybe someday we could do it.

我觉得或许某天我们真的可以建立个小家庭

Of course we can.

我们当然可以

Especially if our baby's as calm and quiet

尤其是如果我们的宝宝也这么乖这么安静

as little Cinna...

就像这位小公主一样...

Son of a bitch she's gone

我勒个去她不见了

Where'd she go

她去哪里了

I don't know She didn't leave a note

我怎么知道她又没有留个条

You were the one who was supposed

不是你负责

to put her back in the stroller

把她放进婴儿车的吗

No I wasn't You were

才不是我是你啊

No I wasn't Yes you were

-不是我 -就是你

Yeah well you throw like a girl

好吧你个弱鸡扔球像个娘们

I'm getting worried.

我开始担心了

Relax Sheldon he's only a few minutes late.

别紧张谢尔顿他就晚到几分钟而已

Professor Proton was never late when he was on TV.

质子教授上电视时从来不会迟到

You know every day 4 00 he was there.

每天准时4点打开电视都能看见他

Unless tornadoes were ripping apart East Texas

除非龙卷风在东德克萨斯肆虐

in which case we'd join him in progress.

这样的话我们只能边看他边看新闻插播

It's him.

是他打来的

Hello.

您好

Well I see.

我明白

Yes.

好的

All right we can come get you.

没问题我们可以去接您

Yeah well see you soon.

好的一会见

Bye. Where is he

-再见 -他在那里

The third floor landing.

三楼平台那

The poor old guy's been walking up the stairs for half an hour.

那可怜的老头爬楼梯爬了半个小时

It's really you.

真的是你

Mr. Jeffries I am so sorry.

杰弗里斯先生真的很抱歉

We should've told you about the broken elevator.

我们应该提前告诉你电梯坏了

I agree.

我同意

Professor Proton it's an honor to meet you.

质子教授很荣幸见到你

Just just call me Arthur.

叫我亚瑟就行

Leonard...

莱纳德

...you hear that

你听见了吗

Professor Proton said I should call him Arthur.

质子教授让我直呼他名字

That means we're friends.

这意味着我们是朋友了

No.

不是

A friend would've would've told me about the elevator.

是朋友就会先告诉我电梯坏了

Look at me.

快看我

I can get as close to you as I want

我想离你多近就多近

without my mom saying it's going to ruin my eyes.

妈妈再也不用担心我的眼睛会坏掉

Is uh is he dangerous

他是不是个危险人物

Actually he's a genius.

其实他是个天才人物

I am.

真的哦

Th That doesn't answer my question.

你没有正面回答我的问题

Mr. Jeffries I'm I'm Leonard.

杰弗里斯先生我是莱纳德

This is my girlfriend Penny.

这位是我的女朋友佩妮

Hi. Hello.

-您好 -你好呀

Well I hope I haven't kept

希望我没让

the kids waiting too long for for the show.

楼上的孩子们等太久

Oh no there are no kids.

不楼上没有孩子

No the the show's for me.

我是你唯一的观众

Come on. I'll race ya...

走吧比比看谁先上去

Arthur.

亚瑟

Is the is the blonde girl really your your girlfriend

这位金发女郎真的是你的女朋友吗

Yes sir.

是的先生

You're the genius.

你才是天才

So do you do a lot of appearances like this

您经常出席像这样的场合吗

It It's hard to say.

不好说

I'm I'm still trying to figure out what...

我至今还在琢磨

what what this is.

你们到底请我来干嘛

We just wanted to hang out with you

我们只是想跟你一起玩

and maybe learn a little about your life.

或许了解下你的人生

Well there there really isn't too much to tell.

其实没什么好说的

After the TV show was was canceled

自从电视节目取消后

nobody in the scientific world

科学界没有人

would uh would take me seriously.

把我当真正的科学家

So I was forced to do these

所以为了维持生计

uh children's parties to to make a living.

我只好出席一些儿童聚会

That's too bad.

真是太糟糕了

But still working with kids it must be rewarding.

但跟孩子们一起肯定也有收获吧

You you get bit a lot.

常会被小孩咬

Let me see if if I have this straight.

看看我是否理解了

You you two are are physicists

你们俩是物理学家

and and you and you want me

而你们请我来

to do a children's... science show

是想让我表演一个儿童科学节目

Yes.

是的

And if there's time

如果有多余的时间

take 12 pictures with us in seasonal clothing.

麻烦跟我们拍12张不同季节不同着装的照片

You know I'm a real scientist.

我是个真正的科学家呢

I I have a PhD from Cornell University.

我是康乃尔大学的博士

Yeah that's great.

那很棒啊

Did you bring your puppet

你有带你的玩偶来吗

No no.

没有

I I hate that puppet.

我讨厌那个玩偶

Oh no.

不会吧

How could anybody hate

怎么会有人讨厌

Gino the Neutrino

中微子基诺呢

It's nice huh

很棒吧

I got him for 20 bucks on eBay.

我在易趣上买的 20块

Including a shipping

还包邮哦亲

I'm... I'm awake right

这不是梦对吗

Th This is happening

这一切都真实在发生

Cinnamon

小肉桂

Cinnamon

小肉桂

You know maybe she doesn't recognize her name

她没有回应可能是因为

because of Raj's accent.

我们没用拉杰的口音

Good thinking.

这想法靠谱

Cinnamon come to Daddy

小肉桂到爸爸碗里来

Cinnamon

小肉桂

Where are you my little lamb chop

我的小羊排你在哪呢

Nice. Thanks.

-惟妙惟肖啊 -谢谢

When this all blows over remember that voice.

这事完了以后别把那嗓音忘了

It's kind of a turn on.

挺让我性趣盎然的

It turns you on when I sound like Raj

我学拉杰说话会让你兴奋吗

Cinnamon

小肉桂

Okay as as I put the egg on top

我把鸡蛋放在上面

and and the flame goes out

等火焰熄灭

and and the air pressure decreases in in the flask

烧瓶里的气压减小

what do you think will happen

你们认为会发生什么

I think I know.

我好像知道

It's gonna get sucked in.

鸡蛋会被吸进去

It's going to get sucked in.

它会被吸进去

Okay I didn't know.

好吧我不知道

Yes

答对了

See I'm not a scientist like them.

瞧我不是他们那种科学家

I I figured that out.

我发现了

利用原电池原理让土豆发电

Uh potato clock. Do potato clock.

土豆钟做土豆钟的实验吧

What's that

那是什么

I I power a clock with a with a potato.

用土豆给钟充电

Shut up

不可能吧

You can do that

还能这样啊

I mean...

我是说

wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis

这样不就能解决世界能源危机了吗

No.

还真不能

Look guys

伙计们

keep your money. I I think uh...

留着你们的钱我觉得

I I think I'm done.

我觉得我该走了

What what's wrong

怎么了

Is she upsetting you

是她惹你生气了吗

Because I can make her go away.

我可以让她走的

No sh she's the only reason I've I've stayed this long.

我是看在她的面子上才待这么久的

Then what is it

那是为什么

I don't know.

我也不知道

I think I'm just...

我觉得我只是

I I just I just don't want to be

只是不想

Professor Proton anymore.

再当质子教授了

Well how can you say that

你怎么能说这种话

Professor Proton's the best.

质子教授最棒了

What what has it ever gotten me

我可不这么想

I mean I'm I'm an 83 year old man who has...

我都是83岁的老头了

potatoes in in his suitcase.

箱子里还放着土豆

Other scientists think think I'm a joke.

其他科学家把我视为笑柄

And the...

还有

the puppeteer who did who did Gino...

负责操控基诺的木偶师

well he also...

他也...

did my wife.

"操"控了我老婆

Mr. Jeffries

杰弗里斯先生

I need to show you something.

我得给你看点东西

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

对于你的痛苦我很遗憾

Uh thanks.

谢谢

But if you don't mind me asking

如果你不介意的话

the potato clock how does it work

我想问问土豆钟是怎么运作的

Is it a trick clock or a trick potato

是钟有猫腻还是土豆有猫腻

Wh What do you two talk about

你们俩平时都交流些啥

I wrote a fan letter to you when I was a child in Texas

我小时候在德克萨斯给你写过一封信

and you sent this autographed picture back to me.

你送了我这个有你亲笔签名的照片

Do you remember that

还记得吗

I'll I'll give you a hint

我给你个提示吧

I have a bracelet with my own address on it.

我平时戴着写着自己的地址的手链[老人痴呆]

Well anyway um

总之

you may find this hard to believe

你可能觉得难以置信

but I didn't have any friends growing up.

但其实我从小到大没什么朋友

No I I get that.

这我完全理解

But um I did have you.

但是我有你

And every day at 4 00

每天下午四点钟

you'd come to my house on Channel 68

我在家看你在68频道的节目

and we'd do science together.

我们都一起玩科学游戏

If it hadn't been for you

要不是你的话

well who knows what would've become of me

谁知道我现在会变成什么样

You know Instead of a world class physicist

我可能当不成世界一流的物理学家

I could've wound up as a a hobo.

而成为流浪汉

Or a surgeon.

或者外科医生

I bet there are important discoveries being made every day

我相信世上每天都有许多重要的科学发现

because you inspired millions of kids to pursue science.

这都归功于你启发了无数的孩子去追求科学

In a way their discoveries are your discoveries.

从某种角度来说他们的发现就是你的发现

Yeah it's true.

是真的

A generation of young scientists

整整一代年轻的科学家

are standing on your shoulders.

都是靠你启发才有了今天

Well thank thank you guys.

谢谢你们

That... that that means a lot.

这番话对我意义非凡

Well it's important you know how much you mean to us.

你要知道你在我们心目中的份量这很重要

Arthur are you okay

亚瑟你还好吗

I'm having a...

我的

problem with my pacemaker.

心脏起搏器出了点问题

I'll I'll call for help.

我去叫救护车

Any chance we could plug it into the potato

用土豆来充电可以吗

No.

不行

Hello

你好

What do you mean you found my dog

什么叫你找到我的狗了

She's with my friends.

她在我朋友那儿呢

Is she okay

她还好吗

Oh thank you.

谢谢你

Uh just text me your address I'm on my way.

把你的地址发给我我这就来

Oh and if she's hungry go ahead and feed her.

如果她饿了的话就给她喂点吃的

But do not give her anything starchy.

但别给她带淀粉的食物

She's having risotto for dinner.

它晚餐要吃意式调味饭

Your vitals are stable

你的生命指数很稳定

but let's take you in for some tests just to be safe.

但还是去医院做些检查以防万一

You want one of us to go with you in the ambulance

需要我们中的谁陪你坐救护车吗

I'll do it

我去

He's not a relative he's not allowed right

他不是亲属不能让他陪同对吧

No that's not a rule. He can go.

没这样的规矩他可以去

Oh yeah

太好了

I can't catch a break today.

今天我连喘口气的机会都没有

We'll pack up your stuff and meet you at the hospital.

我们收拾好你的东西就去医院看你

I'm sorry things turned out this way.

很抱歉事情发展成这样

Well at at this point I'm just...

到了这个地步我只能

glad someone's carrying me down the stairs.

庆幸下楼时有人来抬我走

Met my childhood hero

不仅见到我儿时的英雄

now I get to ride in an ambulance.

还能和他一起坐救护车

Boy if we can get him to do that calendar

如果能再让他拍挂历照片

this'll be the best day ever.

这将是我人生中最美好的一天

Can't believe we lost her.

真不敢相信把她弄丢了

What was I thinking

我想什么呢

I'd be a terrible mom.

我会是个糟糕的母亲

Well maybe with the first one.

或许第一个孩子时你做得不够好

But kids are like pancakes.

但孩子就跟煎薄饼一样

The first one's always a throwaway.

第一个总是要扔掉的废品

How's this look It's fine.

-怎么样 -挺好的

Where'd you get that picture of her

你哪弄来的她的照片

It's not her.

这不是她

I just Googled "Foo foo little dogs."

我只是谷歌了一下"被当亲生娃的狗"

It's Raj. Stay quiet.

是拉杰别出声

Bad timing.

真不凑巧

Bernadette just took Cinnamon out for a walk.

伯纳黛特刚刚带小肉桂出门溜达了

Interesting.

有意思

Did they take a walk down Liars' Lane

他们溜到谎言巷了吗

What

什么

A lane frequented by liars.

说谎者出入的小巷

Like you you big liar

比如说你你这个大骗子

You have her

她居然在你那里

Oh thank God she's okay.

谢天谢地她没事

Well I trusted you and you let me down.

我相信你你却让我失望了

The poor thing's been shaking for hours.

可怜的小家伙抖了几小时了

I'm really sorry.

真是对不起

Hang on you've had her for hours

等等你已经找到它几小时了吗

Yes. I picked her up

对我去接了它

and then we both went for massages to try and calm down.

两人一起去做了个按摩放松下来

And then we got Pinkberry.

然后去粉红桨果店吃了酸奶

So you knew she was okay

你知道她没事

and you couldn't pick up the phone to tell us

就不会接我们电话告诉我们吗

Well I I thought about...

那个我想...

Don't "well" me mister

少跟我说废话先生

We've been worried sick

我们快担心死了

She could have been dead for all we knew

我们都觉得她已经不在人世了

You should be ashamed of yourself

你应该觉得羞愧

Sorry. I I just...

对不起我只是

Sorry's not good enough

道歉有什么用

Maybe you need to take some time

也许你应该花些时间

and think about what you've done

好好反省下你的所作所为

Nice guilt trip.

这招"良心不安"真高

You are gonna be an amazing mom.

你会是一个非常出色的妈妈

Soft kitty warm kitty

软软猫暖暖猫

little ball of fur.

小小毛绒球

Happy kitty sleepy kitty

快乐猫瞌睡猫

purr purr purr.

呼噜呼噜呼噜

Thank you Sheldon.

谢谢你谢尔顿

That that was very nice.

唱得真好听

Want me to sing it again No.

-要我再唱一遍吗 -不用了

The fourth the fourth time was was the charm.

唱了四遍四角俱全很吉利了

There anything I can get for you

需要我帮你拿点什么吗

Some apple juice

苹果汁

Uh some Jell O

果冻

No. No thank you.

不用了多谢

But I I do...

但我的确

I do have a favor to to ask.

需要你帮个忙

Name it.

尽管说

Well I'm I'm booked to do

我明天有场表演

a children's party tomorrow

要去参加一个儿童聚会

and um frankly I you know I I don't feel up to it.

说实话我觉得我去不了

Oh you're not.

你肯定去不了

You look awful.

你的样子糟糕极了

Th Thank you.

谢谢

Anyway uh...

总之

I mean you know my act better than... anybody.

你比任何人都熟悉我的表演

I was I was hoping

我希望

that maybe you know

也许

maybe you'd fill in for me.

你可以替我去

Wha... Are you saying

你是说

that you want me to be Professor Proton

你要我当质子教授吗

Yeah.

对

Oh my.

天啊

What an honor.

我太荣幸了

Oh this is like being asked to ascend Mount Olympus

这就像是被邀请攀上奥林匹斯圣山

and dine with the gods.

和众神同桌吃饭

Or a... Korean family in Alhambra.

或与阿罕布拉市的一个韩国家庭同桌吃饭

But they'll know I'm not you.

但他们会知道我不是你

Should I call myself...

我是不是应该叫自己

Professor Proton Jr.

小质子教授呢

Sounds great.

听起来挺好的

So in a way...

那么某种程度上

it's like I'm your son.

感觉就像我是你的儿子

What Whatever.

好...好吧

Father.

父亲

Sure what the hell

随便吧爱咋地咋地

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