生活大爆炸-S08E17_生活大爆炸

S01

I was unstoppable.

感觉来了挡都挡不住

I mean I was... I was on fire.

我是说我当时整个小宇宙都爆发了

It was like my mind and my body were totally connected

犹如进入身心合一之境

like like athletes must feel when they're in the zone.

运动员们在进入状态时估计就是这感觉

Again it was miniature golf.

刚才只是打个迷你高尔夫好吗

Admit it you're a little turned on.

承认被我迷到"性"致盎然了吧

You can't be this proud.

你凭啥这么洋洋得意

Why not

为什么不行

Because I beat you.

因为你被我虐爆了

Oh good. You're back.

太好了你们回来了

We have some exciting news.

我们有一件令人高兴的事宣布

Okay.

好吧

As you know Amy and I have been together a long time

你们也知道我和艾米在一起挺久了

and a lot of things I never thought possible

很多我曾经以为不可能会发生的事

now seem possible.

现在看来也很有可能

Okay...

好的

After a careful evaluation of our relationship

在谨慎地审视我们这段感情后

we decided that the time was right to

我们觉得现在是时候了

take a step forward.

我们想迈出下一步

Okay.

好的

Do you want to say it

你想来宣布吗

Let's say it together.

我们一起宣布吧

We're getting a turtle

我们要养只乌龟

This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.

这就是为啥我说要保持有冰镇好的香槟

Sarcasm Yes.

-讽刺吗 -是的

Okay.

好吧

That was tricky 'cause when it comes to alcohol

这题挺有难度因为通常跟酒相关的事

she generally means business.

她都是说真的从不开玩笑

Well we're we're very happy for you. Yes.

-我们很为你们感到高兴 -是的

Thank you.

谢谢

Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.

一起养一只宠物对我们而言是件大事

No. It's true.

这是真的

It means that we care so much about each other

这代表我们在乎对方到

there's enough left over for an eight ounce reptile.

还能有多余的关爱分给一只200克的爬行动物

Why a turtle

为什么选乌龟

After much deliberation we've determined that a turtle

在一番深思熟虑过后我们决定乌龟

is the ideal pet.

是最理想的宠物

They don't shed fur they don't make noise...

他们不会掉毛不会发出声音

For Halloween we can dress him as a cobblestone.

万圣节时还能他把打扮成一颗鹅卵石

And if he ever goes berserk I know I can outrun him.

如果哪天他发狂我肯定也跑得比他快

Coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate.

而无独有偶的是这也是我选你当室友的理由

Well congratulations.

恭喜恭喜

Who would've thought you two would be the first

谁会料到我们这帮人里

in our group to start a family

你们是第一对有儿女的人呢

That's what I said

我也这么说

生

活

大

爆

炸

第八季第十七集

So where's your roommate tonight

你的室友今晚去哪了

Well I thought it was a little unfair

我觉得她总在这里碍事

that she's always here

对你挺不公平

and you never get a chance to stay over so...

因为你从来没有机会在这里过夜所以...

I killed her.

我把她杀了

But remember our agreement

还记得我们的约定吗

You can joke about murdering people

你可以开你杀了人的玩笑

but you have to say "just kidding."

但是你后面得说"开玩笑的啦"

And the more important thing to remember is

而更不该忘的一条重要约定是

that I'd never hurt you.

我永远不会伤害你

Oh crap.

真倒霉

I have to run over to the hospital and check on a patient.

我得赶回医院一趟察看一个病人

That's okay. I can come back later.

没关系我可以晚点再来

No. No don't be silly.

不用别傻了

I won't be gone long. Just stay here.

我不会去太久就在这待着吧

Okay cool.

好没问题

Oh and you're sure your roommate's not gonna come back

你确定我一个人在这待着时

while I'm here alone right

你的室友不会突然回来吧

'Cause that'll be awkward.

因为这样会很尴尬

Oh don't worry. She's in Palm Springs.

不用担心她在棕榈泉

Oh good.

那就好

Well her torso is.

她的躯干在那里

Just kidding.

开玩笑的啦

I put her in a wood chipper.

我把她扔进碎木机了

Oh dear Lord. Oh dear Lord.

我的老天我的老天啊

It's okay.

没事的

You made it. We're fine.

你撑过去了没事啦

That was a lot of puppies.

那也太多小狗了

Let's forget about them and...

别管它们了

pick ourselves out a nice turtle.

来给我们选只乌龟吧

Oh how about this one up on the log

你看这只在木头上的怎么样

Oh I don't know.

我不知道

He kind of looks like a jerk.

他看起来像个混蛋

How about this one

你看这只如何

Well he's barely moving. He looks half dead.

那只不太动感觉半死不活的

I know. I like him too.

对啊我也喜欢他

Hi little guy.

小家伙

How'd you like to come home with us

有兴趣跟我们一起回家吗

You'll be living with me

你会跟我一起住

because we don't live in the same house.

因为我们不住在一个家里

But that's not your fault.

但这不是你的错

Like you we're taking it ridiculously slow.

我们像你一样用超龟速发展这段感情

You'll stay with me when he's at Comic Con or away for work.

他去动漫展或上班时你会跟我待在一起

Or if they accept Daddy's application to live on Mars.

如果爸比去火星住的申请通过了你也跟她住

What are you talking about

你在说什么

Oh there's this company

有一个公司

that's attempting to establish a colony on Mars

他们想要在火星上设立一个殖民地

and I applied to be among the first to go.

我申请了当第一批移民

What should we name him

我们该给他取什么名字呢

You know I came in thinking "Seth " but...

本来在路上我还打算给他取"塞斯" 可是...

he kind of looks Italian.

他长得像个意大利人

You applied for a mission

你申请要成为

to be a colonist on another planet

另一个行星的移民者

and couldn't be bothered to tell me

而你都没想过告诉我一声吗

Would you have approved

事先说你会同意吗

Of course not.

当然不会

Well based on your reaction

从你的反应来看

it looks like I made the right choice.

我做了正确的选择

Isn't that right Giuseppe

对不对呀朱塞佩[意大利名]

Listen I I have a little confession to make.

听着我要跟你坦白件事

Aw is this your first time

哎哟客官第一次吗

No I got you something for Valentine's Day

不是啦我情人节给你买了份礼物

and I was too embarrassed to give it to you.

当时觉得太难为情没敢送给你

Well why

为什么

Well 'cause I got it at the dirty store.

因为我是从"色色"用品店里买的

You went to the dirty store without me

你居然去色色用品店不带我

In sunglasses and a hat after I parked two blocks away.

我特意戴了墨镜和帽子还把车停在两条街外

Well get it Get it for me

拿来快给我拿来

Yeah Yeah.

-真的想要吗 -真的

Okay uh well I hope it's fun.

好吧我希望会好玩

I mean it it comes with paints and and

因为这玩意配有颜料

it's kind of creative and artistic.

所以富有创造力和艺术性

Okay did you go to the dirty store or Michaels

你是去了色色用品店还是"着色"用品店啊

No no.

不是

We cover ourselves in body paint

我们把人体彩绘颜料涂身上

and then then we get on this big canvas and do our thing.

然后在这张大画布上"办事"

Whoa that's kind of a big step for a guy

哇对于一个最近刚愿意做爱时

who only recently agreed to take his socks off.

把袜子脱掉的男人来说跨出了很大一步啊

You're making fun of me. Forget it.

你在嘲笑我算了吧

No No come on I want to do it.

不来嘛我想试试

Really Yeah

-真的吗 -对啊

let's you me

让我和你

and your very very pale feet make some art.

还有你那对白皙的脚丫子一起创造艺术吧

Hey when you got back to this store I want to go with you.

对了你下次去那家店的时候我想跟你一起去

Okay but it's a drive

好啊不过有点远

the one I went to is in San Diego.

我去的那家在圣地亚哥

剧中主角住在美国加州的帕萨迪纳

How are the taxes going

报税弄得怎么样了

Okay.

还行

But you got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.

但你在乐高商店消费的发票真多

Those are business expenses.

那些都是业务支出

You can write those off.

你可以把那些冲销

A $200 R2 D2 is a business expense

价值两百美元的R2-D2机器人也是业务支出吗

Oh Bernie

妮妮

you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident

等我们被税务局审查时你的语气得比现在

when we get audited.

更自信才行

Hey what's up

怎么了

Eh Emily ran back to the hospital

艾米丽回医院了

so I'm just hanging out at her place.

所以我在她家四处转转

What are you uh what are you doing

你呢你在干什么

Just playing video games while Bernie does the taxes.

我在打电动妮妮在报税

What are you a little kid

你是三岁小孩吗

Is she gonna cut your dinner into little pieces too

你老婆是不是还要帮你把晚餐切成小块呀

She doesn't have to I filled up on jelly beans.

不用啊我吃果冻软糖就吃饱了

So uh what game are you...

那你在玩什么电动

Crap.

糟糕

What's wrong

怎么了

I can't get Emily's nightstand to close.

我合不上艾米丽的床头柜了

所以呢

She's gonna know I was looking in it.

她就会发现我偷翻她的抽屉啊

Why were you looking in it

那你为什么要看呢

Well there's a question

这个问题

I better have a good answer to before she gets back.

我最好在她回来之前想好答案

Okay calm down.

好吧冷静

There's probably something jammed behind it.

很可能抽屉里面有东西卡住了

Just uh pull it out and see what's there.

你把它拉出来看看是什么

Hang on.

等一下

Oh... no. Oh no.

完了完了

Oh God no

这下完蛋了

You know what you sound busy I'm gonna let you go.

你听起来很忙那我就不打扰你啦

Dude the whole front came off.

伙计前面板整个都掉下来了

Now she's gonna know I was snooping.

这下她肯定知道我在偷翻她东西

What's happening

发生什么事了

Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one.

拉杰偷翻艾米丽的抽屉结果弄坏了一个

I'm gonna miss her.

分手了我会想她的

So what do you think

你觉得怎么样

I thought it'd be a little more...

我还以为会更...

just more.

多点

I'm not even sure why we were out of breath.

我都不懂我们为啥喘得上气不接下气

Uh I mean d did we move at all

我是说我们有移动过一丁点吗

Maybe along the z axis

可能有顺着Z轴移动

but x and y are looking pretty sad.

但X轴和Y轴看了让人想落泪

Okay come on. We are not old boring people.

拜托我们不是又老又无趣的人

We can do better than this.

我们可以"做"得比这更好

Uh th that's true.

你说得对

How late did we stay up last night

昨晚我们熬夜到几点

Almost 1 00 a.M.

将近凌晨一点吧

Damn straight almost 1 00 a.M.

太对了将近凌晨一点呢

And we weren't even watching TV.

而且我们不是在看电视

We were watching Netflix like the kids do.

我们看的是视频网站就像小年轻那样

Yeah is it a comedy Is it a drama

是啊看的是喜剧还是普通电视剧

Nobody knows.

谁知道啊

Now come on. We are gonna do this.

来吧我们要卷土重"做"

Yeah. You get the paint

好的你去拿颜料

I'll rest for 30 40 minutes

我休息个30到40分钟

and then we do this

然后我们大"干"一场

I can't believe you almost had me bring

真不敢相信你差点就让我把

a wild animal into my home.

一只野动物带回家

No one told you to poke the turtle's face.

没人让你去戳乌龟的脸

I was playing "Got Your Nose."

我跟它玩"偷走你的鼻子"游戏

That's how you get children to like you.

通常想让小孩喜欢你就这么玩

I'm surprised you even care if he likes you

我很惊讶你居然会在乎他会不会喜欢你

since you're planning on leaving the planet the first chance you get.

因为只要机会来了你第一时间就会离开这星球

Ugh this again.

又来了

Amy I've already had one new hole torn in my body today.

艾米我的身体今天已经被咬了一个洞了

I don't need another one.

心上不需要再多一个

Sheldon I know the odds of you

谢尔顿我知道

even going to Mars are incredibly small

你去火星的几率非常渺茫

but it still hurts that you would volunteer for something

但是一想到你自愿申请会永远离开我的项目

that would take you away from me forever.

我还是觉得很难过

So you're saying you wouldn't leave me

所以你是说如果你有机会

for the chance to be one of the first humans

成为移民另一个星球的第一批人类

to colonize another planet

你也不会离开我吗

I would at least mention it

我至少会在提交申请前

before filling out the application.

跟你提一下这个事

Huh that's exactly what Leonard Wolowitz Koothrappali

莱纳德沃罗威茨库萨帕里

Bernadette and Penny said.

博纳黛特和佩妮也是这么说的

And who says you could even survive

再说了你怎么可能胜任

an interplanetary mission anyway

这种太空任务呀

You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite.

你被乌龟咬一下都差点挂了

First of all this...

首先这个伤口

has only made me stronger.

只会让我变得更坚强

But beyond that all I did

再说了我只不过

was fill out an application.

提交了申请而已

You know what

我受够了

Go to Mars Sheldon.

滚去火星吧谢尔顿

Is there anything I can do to cheer you up

我能做点什么让你不生气吗

No. Forget it.

不能别白费力气了

What if I play the Star Trek theme on my nose

我用鼻子哼哼《星际迷航》主题曲呢

Please don't.

求求你别这么做

Yep you're mad.

哇你真的生气了

Okay let me see the damage.

让我看看损坏的程度

Hang on.

等一下

Well I think you broke the dowels.

你可能把暗榫弄坏了

You're not gonna have time to glue it back on

你没有时间把它粘回去了

you'll have to nail it.

只能用钉子钉上

With what

用什么钉啊

Does she have any pillows or wine glasses

她那里有枕头或者酒杯吗

She does.

有耶

Great.

太好了

Neither of those. Try a hammer

这两样都没用去找把锤子

Did that feel good

玩我你爽了吗

You feel like a big man now

你觉得自己棒棒哒了吗

I was going to make you red zinger

我本想帮你泡杯红花茶

but since Mars is the red planet

但鉴于火星也是红色的星球

I went with peppermint.

我还是给你泡薄荷茶吧

Why do you even want to do this

你到底为什么想参加这个项目呢

Actually...

其实呢

as part of the application

申请中的一部分

I was required to make a short video

就是要我录一段短片

answering that very question.

回答这个问题

You want to see it

你想看看吗

Can't you just tell me

你就不能直接告诉我吗

But I made a video.

但是人家录了短片的呀

I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper

在下是谢尔顿·库珀博士

and I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to...

我要告诉你们为什么应该选我...

go to Mars

上火星

I'm exceedingly smart.

我聪明绝顶

I graduated college at 14.

14岁就从大学毕业了

While my brother was getting an STD

我的兄弟得性病时

I was getting a PhD.

我就已经得博士学位了

Penicillin can't take this away.

青霉素可消除不掉这成就哦

Being in close quarters cleanliness is important

在狭小的空间里保持清洁至关重要

and... my hygiene is impeccable.

而我的卫生习惯无懈可击

In fact animals don't trust me

动物都无法信任我

because I smell like nothing.

因为我身上什么味都没有

Yeah...

真的

Literally nothing.

啥味都没有

During the seven month space flight

在长达7个月的太空飞行中

I can keep up morale with my wacky sense of humor.

我可以用我独特的幽默感保持士气

Hey Leonard...

莱纳德

is there any peanut brittle left in that can

那个罐子里还有花生糖吗

You mean this weirdly suspicious one

你是指这个超级可疑的罐子吗

Yes. Open it and check.

是的打开看看嘛

I don't get it.

我不明白了

There's actually peanut brittle in...

这里面真的有花生糖...

Please go to Mars.

求求你去火星好吗

But on a more serious note

言归正传

The most important reason I want to go to Mars is that

我想去火星的最大原因是

I believe as a scientist

我坚信身为一位科学家

it's my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward.

突破人类认知的极限是我的天职

Now I know that life on Mars will be difficult.

我知道火星上的生活将无比艰难

But life here on Earth is no picnic.

但地球上的日子也不像野餐那么好玩

Also picnics are no picnic.

当然野餐本身也不好玩

Where should we go for lunch

我们该去哪里吃午餐

Oh I know the ground.

我知道去地上吃吧

In conclusion

总而言之

thank you for considering me

多谢你们观看我为

for this journey of a lifetime.

这段千载难逢的旅行录制的申请

To Mars

上火星

Afterwards Leonard blew his nose

后来莱纳德从他的鼻子里

and pie came out.

擤出了派呢

Right there right there

就是那里就是那里

Oh God that's it

天啊终于啊

How did you get paint in your eye

你是怎么把颜料弄到眼睛里

Because you wouldn't let me wear safety goggles

都是因为你不让我戴防护眼镜

This looks terrible.

看上去一团糟啊

She she's gonna know.

她肯定会发现

It's fine.

没关系

You just need two more nails.

你就差两个钉而已了

Okay where should I put them

好的应该钉在哪里

In Emily's eyes.

钉在艾米丽的眼睛里

You're not helping.

你真是帮倒忙

Well maybe this is what you get for snooping.

所以这就是你偷翻人东西的报应

You know it it's bad enough that I have to deal with this...

我要处理这一摊事就已经够烦了...

Raj I'm back.

拉杰我回来了

Oh no.

死了

How was the hospital

医院情况还好吗

Fine.

很好

What were you doing in there

你在里面干什么呢

Uh... w well...

那个...我...

Okay look I I don't want to lie to you.

我不想对你撒谎

I I got curious I was looking around...

我很好奇于是我到处看了看

and I broke the drawer on your night stand.

然后我就弄坏了你的床头柜抽屉

You were looking in my night stand

你翻看了我的床头柜抽屉吗

Yeah.

是的

So the first time I leave you alone

所以我第一次让你单独留在家里

you snoop on me

你就开始到处偷翻

You've never snooped around my apartment

你从来没偷翻过我的公寓吗

没有

Come on think back.

快好好想想

It would really help if you had

你要是有过前科会很有帮助哟

I can't believe you don't trust me

真没想到你这么不相信我

She sounds really mad.

她听起来很火大啊

We should hang up.

我们应该挂掉

Yeah we should.

对是应该

But we're not going to are we

但我们不会这么做对不对

Not a chance.

门都没有

What happened to "snooping is wrong"

不是说"偷翻是不对的"吗

Howard you're going to jail for tax fraud.

反正你本来就要因为税收欺诈去坐牢了

Who cares

这有啥所谓

Well we did it.

我们"做"到了

We sure did.

确实"做"到了

I mean I was on fire

我整个小宇宙都爆发了

I I was in the zone like an athlete.

我超在状态像运动员一样

Sweetie I beat you at this too.

亲爱的这次你也是被我虐爆了

So where do we want to hang it

那我们把它挂哪儿

What Are you kidding

什么你开什么玩笑

We're not hanging it

才不要挂起来

But it's an expression of our love.

但这是我们爱情的展示

And our butts Not hanging it

也是我们的屁股不挂

Seems a shame to throw it away.

扔了怪可惜的

Yeah.

是啊

We could give it to Sheldon

我们可以送给谢尔顿

and tell him William Shatner painted it.

告诉他是威廉·夏特纳画的

电视剧《星际旅行:初代》中饰演星舰舰长詹姆斯·T·寇克

God I love you. I love you so much.

天我爱你我爱死你了

I think I'm gonna go home.

我要回家了

Why

为什么

I really don't understand what's happening here.

我真不理解这是什么情况

You know Sheldon at any other time

谢尔顿如果是任何其他时候

learning that you had plans to go live on Mars

知道你计划要去火星上住

would be a slow news day.

那这事只是你太晚告诉我而已

But a couple of hours ago

但几个小时前

we were getting a turtle.

我们还要一起养乌龟

And silly as it sounds

虽然说起来有点傻

I thought that meant something.

但我以为那代表着什么

Amy

艾米

Oh why didn't I give her Sleepy Time tea

我为什么没给她喝睡觉觉茶

Amy wait

艾米等等

Getting a turtle meant a great deal to me too.

要养乌龟对我来说也是意义重大

Sure.

当然

Unless something better comes along.

除非有更好的事发生嘛

Do you want me to withdraw my application

你想让我撤销我的申请吗

What I want is for us

我想要的是

to be planning our future together.

我们一起计划共同的未来

And in that future

在你说的未来

are we on the same planet

我们是在同一星球上吗

Yeah because I've seen people make the long distance thing work.

因为我也看过远距离异地恋成功的例子

We're on the same planet

我们是在同一星球上

Okay

知道了

Does that planet have to be Earth

一定要在地球这颗星球吗

Are you asking me to go to Mars with you

你是在邀请我和你一起去火星吗

I am.

我是

Yeah if I'm going to a barren lifeless environment

如果我要前往一个贫瘠无生命

where the chances of survival are slim to none

生存几率接近于零的地方时

I want you there with me.

我希望你在我身旁

Why don't we go back to the apartment

要不要跟我回家

and fill out your application

把你的申请填了

Okay.

要

I suppose being the first people

我想能成为第一批

on a new planet would be incredibly exciting.

在新星球居住的居民应该挺刺激的

Oh I know.

我知道

We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars.

我们可以成为第一批在火星插旗的人

We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks On Mars.

成为第一批在火星上看《火星入侵》电影的人

We could be the first to say

我们也可以是第一批

"Good Lord what on Mars are you talking about "

"天了噜你说的什么火星话啊"

You know

你知道吗

we could also be the first people

我们也可以成为第一批

to procreate on Mars.

在火星生育的人

You just can't keep it in your space pants can you

你的太空裤就是系不严是不是

Think about it.

你想想

If we had a family there

如果我们在那里成家

our kids would be Martians.

我们的孩子就是火星人了

They would wouldn't they

他们还真会是对不对

We could give them cool Martian names.

我们可以给他们取酷酷的火星人名字

And we could teach them about Martian history.

教他们火星人的历史

Like who planted those flags

比如这些个旗子都是谁插的

And uh where did that copy of Mars Attacks Come from

还有《火星入侵》影带是谁带来的

I guess we'll have to make a new video together as a couple.

也许我们需要以情侣身份录个新视频了

Good idea.

好主意

And since you've had such a rough day

既然今天你这么不开心

I'm gonna let you throw the pie in Leonard's face.

我愿意让你用馅饼呼莱纳德一脸

Thank you for forgiving me.

谢谢你原谅我

It's okay.

不客气

At some point we were bound to have our first fight.

恋爱后的第一次争吵早晚都会发生呀

Well it almost happened when you called

你说我的脆皮苹果派不脆又没味时

my apple pie crust "Doughy."

就差点发生了

The truth is you were right.

事实是你当时说得对

And I was just angry at myself.

我只是气自己罢了

Can I ask you one thing

我能问你件事吗

Of course. What

当然什么事

Did you look in my closet

你看没看过我的衣柜

No. Just the drawer.

没有只有抽屉

You promise you didn't look in the closet

你发誓你没看过吗

I promise.

我发誓

Why what's in there

为什么里面有什么

Don't worry about it.

你别管了

Good night.

晚安

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