生活大爆炸-S05E13_生活大爆炸

S01

You feel like trying something new for dinner

晚饭想不想换个花样

美国的德克萨斯州和墨西哥接壤

德墨菜德州式墨西哥菜

Maybe Indian Tex Mex

要不试试印度菜或者德墨菜

You ever wonder how humans would be different

你有没有好奇过如果人类是从蜥蜴

if they evolved from lizards instead of mammals

而不是哺乳动物进化而来会有啥区别

Okay let's talk about that.

好吧你说吧

As you know lizards cold blooded animals

你也知道蜥蜴这种冷血动物

lack the ability to sense temperature.

缺乏感知温度的能力

But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold.

但它们确实在低温环境下行动更迟缓

So lizard weathermen would say things like

所以呢蜥蜴天气预报员会这么说话

"Bring a sweater it's slow outside."

"带上件毛衣外面好慢[冷]"

I love my mind.

我爱死自己的犀利头脑了

We all do.

我们也是

Now how about dinner

快说晚饭吃啥

体型较大的蜥蜴会以其他蜥蜴为食物

大多数蜥蜴吃动物性食物主要是各种昆虫

Oh I would assume we'd enjoy insects or smaller lizards.

我猜我们会享受吃昆虫和小蜥蜴的盛宴

We could also pull each other's tails off and grill them

我们也可以扯掉对方的尾巴然后烤着吃

they'll just grow back.

反正还能再长回来

史波克先生《星际迷航》中的大副先生

My life size cardboard Mr. Spock is here

我的真人大小的卡纸板史波克先生到了

I know he wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion

我知道他不喜欢常人情感的瞬间流露

but oh goodie oh goodie oh goodie.

可是好棒哦好棒哦好棒哦

Commander Spock requesting permission to be unfolded.

史波克中校请求拆封

Excuse me.

失陪一下

Permission granted Commander.

允许拆封中校

Which is why the more intelligent the monkey

这就是为什么越聪明的猴子

the more feces they fling.

就越喜欢扔大便

Excuse me Amy.

打断一下艾米

Penny do you have plans for dinner tonight

佩妮你今天的晚饭有安排吗

Why you guys going somewhere

怎么了你们要去什么好地方吗

No I mean just you and me.

不是就咱俩单独吃

You mean like a date

像约会那样吗

Not like a date a date.

不是约会的那种约会

Um... o okay.

呃好吧

Sure.

行啊

Oh no

天啊

They sent the wrong Spock

这不是我要的史波克

电视剧版《星际迷航》史波克的扮演者

Live long and suck it Zachary Quinto.

生生不息早日去死扎克瑞·昆图

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第十三集

This is so exciting.

太好了

If Leonard and Penny get back together

要是莱纳德和佩妮复合了

Howard and I can go on double dates with them.

我和霍华德就可以跟他们一起四人约会了

How come you never invite Sheldon and me on a double date

你怎么从来不邀请谢尔顿和我参加四人约会呢

How's it going in there Penny

你衣服试得怎么样了佩妮

Just a sec.

稍等片刻

Too much

是不是太隆重了

Yes. No.

-确实 -才没有

Okay just hang on.

好吧再等一下

You just can't handle her raw sexuality can you

你受不了她那股天生的骚劲对吧

When did you and Leonard break up

你和莱纳德是什么时候分手的

Uh about two years ago.

差不多两年前吧

Why do you think he asked you out again

你觉得他约你吃饭的原因是什么

I don't know.

不知道

Maybe he's dying.

也许是他命不久矣

That would be so romantic.

那该有多浪漫啊

He's not dying.

他命长着呢

Too bad.

真可惜

If he were she could just throw him in bed

如果是的话她就可以把莱纳德推到在床

and ride him right up until he flatlines.

骑在他身上尽性直到他心跳停止

How about this

这件怎么样

Maybe. Come on.

-还行 -拜托

Yeah okay no.

好吧这件不行

Do you think you'll sleep with him tonight

你觉得你今晚会和他上床吗

Absolutely not.

绝对不会

Look we're just gonna have dinner

我们就是吃个饭

and you know see how it goes.

然后再看情况吧

If he were dying would you sleep with him

如果他病入膏肓了你会和他上床吗

What

什么

Assuming he were dying of something

假设他身患绝症

that couldn't be sexually transmitted.

而这种病不会通过性行为传播

You know like a spear wound to the head.

比如脑袋上的箭伤

Okay he is not dying.

够了他的命长着呢

How do you know Are you a doctor

你怎么知道你是医生吗

You can make believe though.

不过你可以这么幻想嘛

Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up

有时候霍华德和我会假装他出现了心律失常

and I'm a sexy cardiologist.

而我是一个性感的心脏病医生

And the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network.

最好玩的部分是我的护理服务可是不收费的哟

Screw it. I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this.

算了我不打算搞得好得多大件事

It's just dinner.

就是吃个晚饭嘛

With a dead man.

跟死人一起吃

Amy stop it.

艾米别说了

Oh God I'm so nervous.

天啊我好紧张

Relax.

放松啦

You know Leonard's always been crazy about you.

你知道莱纳德一直都很喜欢你

It's gonna be great.

不会有事的

I know but we've finally gotten to a place

我知道可是我们好不容易才到了

where we can hang out without it being weird.

见面聊天都不尴尬的地步

And what if something goes wrong Then what

万一出了什么岔子呢然后怎么办

Guess it'll just be Sheldon and me

我猜只有谢尔顿和我

going on a double date with Howard and Bernadette.

去陪霍华德和伯纳黛特一起四人约会了

Sure we'd love that.

是啊我们好期待

Change your clothes we got a lot riding on this.

快换衣服我俩可就指望你俩今晚的表现了

I want to build a road

我想修条路

wood亦指勃起的阴茎

but I need wood.

但我需要硬木

Do either of you fellows have wood

你俩谁有硬木吗

I don't understand the laughter.

我不知道你们在笑什么

The object of Settlers of Catan

《卡坦岛》的目标

is to build roads and settlements.

就是修建道路和房屋

To do so requires wood.

所以需要硬木

sheep有时用来指代发生性关系的女人

Now I have sheep I need wood.

我现在有绵羊缺硬木

Who has wood for my sheep

谁能拿硬木换我的绵羊

Okay how do I look

我这身看着怎么样

More to the point why are you doing this

我更想知道你为什么要这么做

What are you talking about

你在说什么

Did you forget what Penny did to you

你忘了佩妮当初怎么对你的吗

It took you two years and defiling my sister

你花了两年的时间还玷污了我妹妹

to turn that frown upside down.

才把你的愁云惨淡换成嬉皮笑脸

I didn't defile your sister we had a relationship.

我没有玷污你妹妹我们只是交往过

Brown Sugar 多数形容漂亮性感的黑人女性

I heard you call her Brown Sugar.

我以前听你叫她"靓妹黑妞"呢

In my book that's defilement.

在我看来这就是玷污

You want to know my opinion

想听听我的意见吗

Oh boy do I

天啊想听得不得了

Sarcasm

是故意说反话吗

No.

不是

All right then.

那好吧

The reason you're fixated on

你之所以对佩妮这种

a good natured simpleton like Penny is that

秀外痴中的姑娘念念不忘

she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment

是因为她跟你的第一位爱慕对象截然相反

your brilliant yet intimidating mother.

也就是你害怕的天才母亲

Where on earth did you get that from

你怎么会有这种想法

It's in her book Needy Baby Greedy Baby.

她的书《越缺爱的小孩越贪心》里写的

That doesn't make it true.

那也不代表就是真的

It's called nonfiction for a reason Leonard.

莱纳德那本书可是非虚构类的

See you later.

回见

If they ever make a movie version of that book

如果有人把她那本书拍成电影

you know who should play Leonard's mother

你们知道该由谁来扮演莱纳德的妈妈吗

桑德拉·布洛克好莱坞著名女影星演过不少爱情片

Sandra Bullock.

桑德拉·布洛克

Why

为什么

Because she's great in everything.

因为她每部作品都诠释得很好

Now where were we

我们玩到哪儿了

Oh yes. Does anyone have any wood

对了你们谁有硬木吗

Oh come on

拜托

I just want wood.

人家只是想要硬木而已

Why are you making it so hard

有必要要搞得这么难[硬]啊

So do they have a name for a first date

有什么词可以形容

with someone you used to go out with

跟以前相好过的人第一次约会吗

Oh that's a good question.

这个问题问得好

How about "awkward"

"尴尬"怎么样

Yeah that sounds right. Yeah

-这词挺恰当的 -对吧

Hey how about if we pretend we're actually on a first date

要不我们假装这真的是第一次约会

See how that goes. Okay.

-看看结果怎么样 -好啊

So Polly tell me about yourself.

胖妮跟我说说你吧

It's Penny.

我叫佩妮

Oh sorry yeah. Awkward.

对不起真尴尬

Okay uh let's see.

没事我想想

I'm from Nebraska and ever since I was a little girl

我来自内布拉斯加我还很小的时候

I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star.

就梦想着能搬到洛杉矶成为一名电影明星

Anyway after four years of acting lessons

不过上了四年的表演课

and waiting tables

当了四年服务员之后

I've done a hemorrhoid commercial

我出演了一个痔疮广告

and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley.

和一个保龄球球道上面扮演过安妮·弗兰克

So you know dreams do come true.

所以梦想真的能实现的

Your turn.

该你了

Uh let's see.

我想想

Uh I am an experimental physicist at Cal Tech

我是加州理工学院的实验物理学家

most of my research is with high powered lasers

大部分研究都跟高功率激光有关

and oh I've just gotten a big government grant

我最近刚拿到一大笔政府资助金

to see if they can be used to knock out

看看能不能用于研究

incoming ballistic missiles.

击落来袭的弹道导弹

Wow. Can they

哇那能实现吗

Oh God no.

废话当然不行

The money's pretty good.

不过看在这么多钱的份上

And I used the equipment to make my own Bat signal.

我还用那设备来发射自己的蝙蝠信号[蝙蝠侠中的求救信号]

Bat signal

蝙蝠信号

What are you some kind of nerd

怎么你是所谓的宅男吗

Not some kind of nerd I'm the king of the nerds.

不是所谓的宅男而是宅男之王

What does that mean

宅男之王是什么意思

Uh it means if anyone displeases me

意思是谁要是惹恼我了

I don't help them set up their printer.

我就不帮他们装打印机

You are so funny. Good.

-你真幽默 -那就好

Remember that when I take my shirt off.

那我脱衣服的时候你就想着这个优点好了

Leonard this is nice.

莱纳德这样真好

I'm so glad we did this.

我很高兴我们能约会

Me too.

我也是

So what do you think

那你意下如何

Are we gonna get back together

我们能复合吗

Whoa. Not so fast.

不用这么快吧

I'm sorry what did I say

对不起我说错什么了吗

Leonard you know I will always have feelings for you.

莱纳德你知道我对你的感觉永远不会变

Oh God. What

-老天 -怎么了

You said "always."

你说了"永远"

You'll always have feelings for me.

你对我的感觉永远不会变

有问题吗

So that sounds more like something you'd say

那听起来更像是在说

if you didn't want a relationship with someone.

你不想和某人谈恋爱

"This isn't working out "

"我们不会有结果的"

"but I'll always have feelings for you."

"但我对你的感觉永远不会变"

"I'm sorry I slept with your best friend "

"对不起我跟你的好朋友睡了"

"but I'll always have feelings for you."

"但我对你的感觉永远不会变"

"Here's the thing Lisa

"是这样的丽莎"

I'm into dudes now but I'll always have feelings for you."

"我现在喜欢男的了但我对你的感觉永远不会变"

How would you say it

那你会怎么说

I have feelings for you.

我对你的感觉不会变

It's the same thing. No it's not.

-这不是一样嘛 -不一样

"Always" made it worse.

加上"永远"只会适得其反

You're overthinking this. No I'm not.

-你想太多了 -我没有

Yes you are. You always overthink things.

你有你永远都是这样

Th There you go. "Always" made it worse.

你看吧一加"永远"就变味了

See this is where everything goes wrong when we talk.

瞧我们一谈起来就开始吵架

Well I don't know how you have a relationship without talking.

谈恋爱当然要用"谈"的啦

Hey I went out with this guy TJ for eight months

我以前还跟一个叫TJ的家伙在一起八个月

we never talked.

我们从来没谈过话

To this day I don't even know what TJ stands for.

直到现在我都不知道TJ代表啥

Wait if you guys didn't talk what

等等你们要是不谈的话

Never mind stupid question.

算了这问题真二

And now that I have some wood

我现在有硬木了

I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.

我的殖民地要开始"崛起"了

He's got to be doing this on purpose.

他肯定是故意这么说的

Ooh 8 30.

才八点半呢

You and Penny decide to go out and paint the town beige

你跟佩妮是出去打酱油的吗

You are 30 years old and you live with your mother.

某人都三十岁了还跟妈妈同住一屋

I guess it didn't go well.

看来约会不太顺利

We don't know that.

我们可不知道

Not to a certainty.

不能确定

All we know is that Leonard is home.

我们只知道莱纳德到家了

How about now

现在呢

Again not enough evidence.

证据还是不够

For all we know he's being murdered.

我们只知道他被谋杀了

Now back to our game.

现在继续游戏

You were in the middle of an erection.

你不是在"崛起"中吗

Oh of course. It's right here in my hand.

对哦那"玩意儿"就在我手中

What does she want from me now

她现在是想怎样

What's up

怎么了

Do not overthink this.

别想太多

I don't understand. Bup bup bup bup bup bup bup.

-我不懂 -一切尽在不言中

Okay but earlier it seemed like...

好吧但是之前不是...

No talking.

别说话

Even during 'Cause sometimes I have questions.

做的时候也不说话吗因为有时我会想提问耶

Well that was fun.

挺不错

Yeah except for when I got the foot cramp.

是啊除掉我脚抽筋的部分

You hung in there though.

但你还是挺住了

There was a lot at stake.

牺牲小我成全大我

So what do you want to do now

你现在想做什么

Well I want to go get my asthma inhaler

我想去拿我的哮喘吸入器

but it might ruin the moment.

但这样就太毁气氛了

Just just help me out here.

我还是不明白

How does a miserable date end in sex

为什么糟糕的约会能以滚床单收场

I don't know it's complicated.

我也不知道这太复杂了

Well I'm a pretty smart guy

我很聪明的

and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply

而且现在血液主要在往大脑流动了

so give it a go.

试试也无妨嘛

Okay it's just

好吧只是...

at the restaurant when you said

在餐厅里你说想

you wanted us to be together again

想跟我复合

it got very real very fast and I panicked.

感觉太真实太突然了我吓到了

Why

为什么

What are you afraid of

你在怕什么

Well what if we do go out

要是我们真的和好了

and I do something stupid and dump you again

但我又做了什么蠢事又把你甩了怎么办

What if I dump you

怎么就不是我甩你呢

Come on be serious.

得了别闹

Well how about if we don't think about this as a relationship

那不然我们都不把这当成是谈恋爱

It could be more like a new version of software.

就好比是一款新的软件

Penny and Leonard 2.0.

佩妮和莱纳德2.0升级版

We can test it internally shake out the bugs

我们可以先内测捉虫

and if we both feel it's solid

等我们都觉得稳定了

then we'll roll it out to the public.

到时再公之于众

So we don't tell people we're back together

那我们先不告诉别人我们复合了

Exactly.

是的

We pretend like our date went badly.

我们假装约会进展不顺利

Well we don't really have to pretend.

这已经不用假装了

And we let them think that we decided to just be friends

我们让他们以为我们决定只做朋友

and that everything's cool.

那样的话就没问题了

Okay great.

好啊

Hey I just remembered.

我刚想起来

I still got one of your inhalers.

我还留着你的吸入器

I can't believe you kept this.

不敢相信你还留着

Yeah I was gonna throw it away but I just couldn't.

我本来想扔掉但还是舍不得

That is so sweet.

你太贴心了

In 25 to 30 minutes I'm gonna show you

大概再过二十五到三十分钟你就能知道

how much this means to me.

这对我的意义有多"重大"了

Leonard

莱纳德

Yeah hi hi.

好啊

How's it going

你好吗

Uh can't complain.

没什么不好

Thanks for asking.

不过还是谢谢

Well what were you doing out at 3 00 in the morning

你凌晨三点在外面做什么

Well uh uh... what are you doing up

那你又在做什么

I was using the bathroom.

我上厕所啊

Yeah well so was I.

我也是

Really

真的吗

I didn't see you in there.

我怎么在里面没看到你

Obviously... when I saw that you were in ours

显然我看到你在用了

I went and used another one.

所以我就出去用其它的了

Where

上哪去用了

The the gas station across the street.

马路对面的加油站

In your pajamas

穿着睡衣去

Yes.

是啊

Without shoes

还没穿鞋去

Yes.

是啊

On a cold winter's night

大冬天三更半夜去

Yes.

是啊

Seems unlikely.

不太可能啊

Did you bring your asthma inhaler

你带你的哮喘吸入器了吗

Uh uh uh yes I did.

是的我当然带了

Well then I guess it's plausible.

那貌似就可信了

D hang on a second mister. What

-等等先生 -干嘛

After you used the facilities at the gas station

你用过加油站的厕所后

did you make a purchase What

-买东西了吗 -什么

It's customary when using the restroom

这是国际惯例你用了零售店的厕所

at a retail establishment to make a small purchase.

就要随便买点东西

Did you

你买了吗

No.

没有

Here's two dollars.

给你两块钱

Go buy some beef jerky.

去买点牛肉干

I don't want beef jerky.

我不想吃牛肉干

It's not about you.

这不是你想不想的问题

It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan

这关系到可怜的巴基斯坦移民

trying to make his way in America

在科罗拉多大道的

by working the graveyard shift

雪佛龙公司上夜班

at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron.

就为了在美国混口饭吃

Fine.

好吧

Needy Baby Greedy Baby indeed.

还真是越缺爱的小孩越贪心啊

Leonard will be here in a moment.

莱纳德马上就来了

He's looking for a different parking space.

他要重找一个停车位

Why

为什么

We were next to a car

我们旁边停着一辆车

with an "Ask me about my grandchildren." bumper sticker

上面贴着一张贴纸写着"聊聊我的孙子们"

and I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out

我担心如果走的时候遇到那辆车的车主

I'd be obligated to do so.

我就有义务就跟他聊

I'm so disappointed it didn't work with him and Penny.

他跟佩妮的约会居然失败了我好失望

Me too.

我也是

Out of deference to them

为了不伤害到他们

let's not flaunt our happy relationship.

咱们就别炫耀自家的完美恋情了

You have a keen insight into the human heart

你还真是体贴善良啊

Amy Farrah Fowler.

艾米·费拉·福勒

2000年美国总统选举中民主党的正副总统候选人

We are next to a Suburu with a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.

现在旁边那辆斯巴鲁上贴着一张写着"戈尔/利伯曼"的贴纸

Well I doubt they'd want to talk about that so we're fine.

我觉得他们不会想聊那个所以我们安全了

I'm surprised to see you here

你跟佩妮的约会搞砸了

after it went so badly with Penny.

你居然还会来这吃饭

Well hey we're grown ups.

我们都是大人了

We can still be friends.

买卖不成仁义在嘛

Boy I don't know if I could be friends with Howie

天啊要是我跟霍华德分手了

if we broke up.

估计就做不成朋友了

Why not

为什么

I'm a very vengeful person.

我是个报复心很重的人

Really

真的吗

With access to weaponized smallpox.

而且我还能弄到改造成生化武器的天花

Here you go guys let me get you going with some water.

伙计们我先给你们上点水

You need menus or you know what you want

你们要看菜单吗还是已经想好要点什么了

Leonard knows what he wants

莱纳德知道自己想要什么

but it looks like he's not gonna get it from you.

不过看来从你这是捞不着了

Howard.

霍华德

No that's okay Bernadette.

不没事伯纳黛特

Sometimes these things just don't work out.

有些人就是不适合在一起

Yeah it's all good.

没错不过没关系

We We'll always have feelings for each other.

我们我们对彼此的感觉永远不会变

Oh that's nice.

还真是不错啊

See she knew what "always" meant.

看吧她也知道"永远"的含义

Wow you're like a dog with a bone aren't you

你就是得理不饶人是吧

I'm just making a point.

我只是想证明我的观点而已

Is the point that you don't know when to let something go

你不知道该何时放手的观点吗

People people

够了够了

please before you say something you both regret

拜托在你俩开始说一些会后悔的话时

I'd like to place my order.

我想先点菜

Yeah just hang on Sheldon.

好的稍等谢尔顿

You know why we can't be together

你知道咱俩为什么不能做情侣吗

Because you always have to be right.

因为对的永远你错的永远我

Oh that is not true.

才不是呢

I got to go with Leonard on this.

这点我认同莱纳德

He is wrong more than anyone I know.

他是我认识的人中犯错最多的

You know what I just realized I'm on a break.

我刚想起来现在是我的休息时间

I'll get someone else.

我叫别人过来给你们点单

Leonard promise me that when our new waitress comes over

莱纳德你要保证等我们下一个女招待过来以后

you will not start a complicated on again

你绝不可以一会儿跟她玩复合

off again relationship with her

一会儿跟她玩翻脸的恋情

because I am very very hungry.

因为我现在非常非常饿

Unbelievable.

真是难以置信

Mind explaining to me why you were being

你想解释一下你在餐厅里的时候

such a jerk at the restaurant

表现得像个混蛋一样吗

I was trying to act like we weren't seeing each other.

我那是努力装作咱们没有复合

That was the plan right No

-这不是咱俩的计划吗 -不是

the plan was to tell people we decided to stay friends.

计划是告诉他们咱们决定只当朋友

That's a little hard to do

你整天那么讨人厌

when you're always being such a tool bag.

弄得我也很难演下去

You know what I don't have to stand here and take this crap.

我用不着站在这听你数落

The hell do you think you're going

你这是去哪呀

Isn't sex after fighting kind of what we do now

咱俩现在不就是一吵完架就上床吗

Yeah kind of yeah.

好吧说得没错

What are we doing

我们这是干嘛啊

What do you mean

什么意思

Every scenario I play out for you and me ends badly.

我每次幻想到咱俩在一起的场面结局总是很糟

That's because you overthink everything.

那是因为你总是想得太多

Leonard are you listening to me

莱纳德你在听我说话吗

What Yeah.

什么我在听啊

This is a disaster.

这简直就是个灾难

I distinctly ordered

我分明订的是

the Leonard Nimoy Mr. Spock cardboard standee.

伦纳德·尼莫伊版的史波克纸模

Why would I feel safer

扎克瑞·昆图站在我的床脚

with Zachary Quinto at the foot of my bed

怎么能让我觉得安全呢

I don't know he was pretty badass on Heroes.

不知道啊可是他演《英雄》的时候挺威猛的啊

You're right I'll give him a shot.

也是那我就给他一次机会吧

Hang on.

等一下

Penny do you have plans for dinner

佩妮你今天的晚饭有安排吗

Why you guys going somewhere

怎么了你们要去什么好地方吗

No I mean just you and me.

不是就咱俩单独吃

Uh have you thought this through

你有认真考虑过才问我的吗

Yes and I think we should go anyway.

对而且我认为我们必须去

No can't do it.

不行我还是做不到

Sorry Quinto you're going back.

抱歉昆图你还是滚回去吧

If you and Leonard get back together

如果你跟莱纳德复合了

Sheldon and I will finally have someone

就终于有人可以跟我和谢尔顿

to go on double dates with.

出去四人约会了

What about me and Howard

不能跟我和霍华德出去吗

Fine we can double with you too.

好吧我们也可以跟你们四人约会

So insecure.

太没安全感了

Where are you guys going to eat

你们俩要去哪吃饭

Penny

佩妮

Do you Penny take Leonard to be your lawful wedded husband

佩妮你愿意接受莱纳德作为你的合法丈夫吗

Well it's a little late for me

我现在说不愿意

to start saying no isn't it

有点太迟了对不对

Penny.

佩妮

Sorry just remembered I've got to stop at the drugstore.

抱歉突然想起来我待会要去一下药店

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