生活大爆炸-S02E08_生活大爆炸

S01

Oh look Saturn 3 is on.

看啊开始放《土星3号》了

I don't want to watch Saturn 3.

我不想看《土星3号》

Deep Space Nine is better.

《深空9号》比这好多了

How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3

《深空9号》怎么可能比得过《土星三号》

Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.

你算一算就知道9比3大6

Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.

折衷一下吧看《巴比伦5号》

In what sense is that a compromise

你凭什么认为这是折衷的办法

Well five is partway between three... Never mind.

5是在3和... 当我没说

I'll tell you what.

不如这样吧

How about we go rock paper scissors

我们石头剪刀布决定

Ooh I don't think so.

我看这样不行

Anecdotal evidence suggests

大量的实例研究表明

that in the game of rock paper scissors

在石头剪刀布中

players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time

如果让互相熟悉的玩家进行一定局数的游戏

due to the limited number of outcomes.

那么其中有百分之75到80是打平的

I suggest rock paper scissors lizard Spock.

我推荐玩石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克[星际旅行3里的人物]

What

什么

It's very simple.

非常简单的

Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock.

剪刀剪布布包石头

Rock crushes lizard.

石头砸死蜥蜴

Lizard poisons Spock.

蜥蜴毒死史波克

Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard.

史波克踩碎剪刀剪刀将蜥蜴斩首

Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock.

蜥蜴吃掉纸[同义布] 论文[同义布]证明史波克不存在

Spock vaporizes rock.

史波克把石头融化

And as it always has rock crushes scissors.

最后和以前一样石头敲坏剪刀

Okay I think I got it.

好我明白了

Rock paper scissors lizard Spock

石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克

Hello boys.

孩子们好

Ahoy matey.

这位兄台好

Noticed the eye patch did you

注意到我的眼罩了是吗

It's all part of a technique I've been studying

这是一个我最近正在研究的

for picking up women.

勾搭女人的新技术

You employ a visual display

只需使用一个显示屏

designed to make yourself

就可以为你设计出一套

distinctive and memorable.

与众不同夺人眼球的造型

Oh yes like the male peacock with brilliant plumage

是啊就像是雄孔雀那漂亮的羽毛

or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters.

或者像发情的狒狒那饱满的臀部

Or in this case the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye.

或者就像是得了红眼病的犹太小男孩

Mock me if you will but it works.

随便你怎么笑我但这真招的很有用

You show up at a club in something distinctive

你可以穿着奇装异服进入一个派对

scope out your target and toss out some negs.

搜索目标然后向她发起消极攻势

What are negs

什么是消极攻势

A neg is a negative compliment

消极攻势就是给她一些消极的评价

that throws a pretty woman off her game

好让她不要凌驾于你之上

like "Normally I'm not turned on by big teeth

举个例子一般我对大牙齿很没爱

but on you they work."

但在你嘴里就显得很可爱

I got a whole list of 'em. Who wants to be my wingman

这样的台词我有一箩筐谁想做我的泡妞搭档

You're not gonna need wingman.

你不需要搭档

You're gonna need a paramedic.

我看你是需要去看病

Howard your scooter's blocking my car.

霍华德你的小摩托挡住我的车了

Aw did you get pinkeye again

啊呀你又得红眼病了?

Step one she notices the eye patch.

首先她注意到我的眼罩了

May I say Penny

恕我直言佩妮

not a lot of women could look as hot as you do

一般头发如此恶心的女人们

with such greasy hair

是没你这么漂亮的

Yeah just move your stupid scooter

快去把你那辆破摩托挪开

before I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster.

否则我就去把它扔进垃圾箱

Ow.

疼

I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch The Clone Wars TV series

不好意思在我还没看《克隆战争》这部电影之前

until I've seen The e Clone Wars movie.

我是不会去看《克隆战争》的电视剧的

I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me

我想根据乔治·卢卡斯拍片的顺序

in the order he intended.

来欣赏他的烂作

Well I want to watch it now.

但我现在就想看这个

Then I believe we've arrived at another quintessential

那我认为我们又迎来了一个典型的

rock paper scissors lizard Spock moment.

石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克游戏时刻

Watch whatever you want.

随便你看什么

I saw what you did there.

你有一套啊

What'd I do

怎么说

Hello. Hey Howard.

喂霍华德

What's wrong

怎么了

Okay. Okay we'll be right there.

好好我们马上就来

What happened

什么事

Howard's at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble.

霍华德说他在火星漫步者实验室碰到了点麻烦

Defcon 5.

安全等级5

Defcon 5

安全等级5?

Well there's no need to rush.

那就没必要这么急了

What

什么

Defcon 5 means "no danger."

等级5是和平时期的协议没危险

Defcon 1 is a crisis.

等级1才是紧急情况

How can 5 not be worse than 1

5怎么可能没1差

Yeah Star Trek V worse than I.

就是啊《星际旅行5》比1差

Okay first of all that's a comparison of quality

首先你比较的是质量

not intensity.

而不是紧急程度

Secondly Star Trek I is orders of magnitude worse

第二《星际旅行1》和《星际旅行5》相比

than Star Trek V.

简直就是老鼠比大象

Are you joking Star Trek V is the standard

你在开什么玩笑《星际旅行5》已经成为

against which all badness is measured.

劣质品测量的标杆

No no.

不不

Star Trek V has specific failures

《星际旅行5》差就差在

in writing and direction

编剧和导演

while Star Trek I fails across the board

而《星际旅行1》完全就是一无是处

art direction costuming music sound editing.

艺术指导服装音乐音响效果

Can we just forget I said Defcon and go

就当我没说什么安全等级好吗我们快走

Star Trek V.

《星际旅行5》

All right will you at least stipulate

至少你也应该承认

that Star Trek IV The Voyage Home is inarguably the best

《星际旅行4:抢救未来》毫无疑问是最好的吧

I have three words for you

我给你5个字

Wrath of Khan.

《天汗的愤怒》[星际之旅2]

Oh thank God you're here.

感谢上帝你们来了

What's the emergency

有什么急事

I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch.

火星漫步者被卡在沟里了

Where

哪里

On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield.

贝克斯菲尔德城外一条人迹罕至的公路

Where do you think On Mars

要不然还能在哪当然是火星!

Howard is everything okay

霍华德出什么事了

Yeah baby I'll be right in.

宝贝我马上进去

You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room

你把一个姑娘带到火星探测器的控制室?

Yeah I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor.

我在一个酒吧碰到她的她是个医生

One free barium enema

只要一剂免费的钡剂[灌肠用]

and my mother won't care she's not Jewish.

我妈根本不会在乎她是不是犹太人

Wait a minute.

等一下

So the eye patch and e insults worked

那么说眼罩及人格侮辱这招管用了?

No there were three other guys with eye patches.

不那里还有三个人也带着眼罩

It was a fiasco.

彻底的失败

What did work was "How'd you like to visit

管用的是这句话:

a secret government facility "

"愿不愿意去个秘密政府部门看看?"

So what exactly do you want us to do

那你要我们现在做什么呢

I need you and Raj to help me get the Rover out of the ditch

你和拉杰帮我把火星探测器从沟里拖出来

and I need you to get Stephanie out

而你要在任何人发现斯蒂芬妮之前

before somebody notices she's here.

帮我把她带走

She doesn't exactly have clearance.

实际上我偷偷带她进来的

Really They don't let strange women from honky tonks come in

真的么? 难道他们不让从下等酒馆来的

and play with $200 million government projects

陌生女人来玩在遥远星球上

on distant planets

2亿美金的政府项目么?

Yes I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me.

我知道我很坏她可能给我一巴掌

Can we please move on

我们能回到问题上来了么?

Hey Howard you know it's getting late

霍华德时间不早了

so do I get to drive this thing or what

我到底还开不开得上车?

Yeah. No. I'm sorry but something's come up.

对不起出了点紧急情况

Kind of a Mars Rover... Mars Rover

我是说火星漫步者火星漫步者

can Howard come over...

呼叫霍华德

situation.

的状况

So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home.

我朋友莱纳德会带你回家的

Oh okay. Let's go friend Leonard.

走吧好朋友莱纳德

I'll call ya.

回头打电话给你

Yeah. So are you a scientist like Howard

你也是像霍华德一样的科学家么?

No one's a scientist like Howard.

没有科学家像霍华德那样

My mother is so gonna love her.

我妈肯定会很喜欢她

How nice. Maybe they can carpool

多好啊没准她们可以一起搭车

when they visit you in federal prison.

去联邦监狱看你

I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you.

对不起打断你的话了

What what what were you saying

啊? 我们刚才说到哪了?

Just said Howard's a terrific guy.

说霍华德是个非常好的人

He's got a great sense of humor.

他很有幽默感

He loves his mother...

他很爱他的妈妈

a lot.

非常

People say "too much."

大家都说爱得有点过了

I really like that you're such a loyal friend.

你真是个忠实的好朋友

Yeah I am loyal.

没错

You know if you look at the big picture.

如果从全局来看的话

Out of curiosity

仅仅是出于好奇

did he ever have a shot with you

他有很吸引你么?

Are you insane

你疯了么

The guy was wearing an eye patch.

他带着个眼罩

Then why did you...

那你为什么...

He said that I cou drive a car on Mars.

他说我可以在火星上开车

Got it.

哦了

So can I see you again

我以后还能再见你吗

You're not gonna see me now.

你这就见不到我了闭眼

Cool.

不错

Anything

有什么发现么

Actually I was just checking my e mail.

事实上我在查邮件

But uh no the Rover is not responding.

不过漫步者没有消息返回

I believe the appropriate metaphor here

我有个很恰当的比喻

involves a river of excrement

一艘没有推进设备的

and a Native American water vessel

美国土著的轮船

without any means of propulsion.

驶进了便便河

Hang on.

拜托

There's got to be other options.

肯定会有办法的

You could try calling Triple A.

你可以给美国汽车协会打电话

But based on NASA's latest timetable

不过根据美国国家航空航天管理局最近的日程安排

they won't get there for 35 years.

他们35年后才会到那

Plus I understand you have to be standing

而且他们到的时候

next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.

你必须在现场带着你的会员卡

Oh snap.

惨咯

Snap what

按什么? [snap也有按钮的意思]

Okay I guess we have to turn to Plan B.

好吧看来我们得进行B计划了

What's Plan B

什么是B计划

Erase all the hard drives scrap the surveillance tapes

格式化所有硬盘清除监控录像

wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run.

擦掉我们留下的所有指纹后逃跑

Why wasn'that Plan A

为什么这不是A计划

A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data

美国国家航空航天管理局发言人指出由于数据的损失

they will most likely be unable to determine the cause of the Mars Rover's malfunction.

他们可能无法找出火星漫步者发生故障的原因

This is not the first time an exploratory mission to Mars

人类对于火星的探索这种令人失望的结果

has ended in disappointment.

已经不是第一次了

Thank God for Plan B.

幸亏我们选了B计划

Howard didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover

霍华德你不是说过你在研究火星漫步者么

No you're mistaken.

没有你搞错了

Yeah when we first met you said that if I went out with you

我第一次见你那天你说如果我和你约会

I could drive a car on Mars.

我就能在火星上开车

I don't know what you're talking about.

我不知道你在说什么

Will you all excuse me

大家不好意思

Leonard is subtly signaling

莱纳德正悄悄给我打手势

that he'd like to talk to me in private.

示意我要和我私下谈谈

No. Yeah I remember specifically.

不会啊我记得很清楚

You started by asking if I was from Mars

你最开始问我是不是从火星来的

because my ass was out of this world.

理由是我的屁股真的很翘

Well that does sound like me but no.

是挺像我的风格不过不是

Is there some problem

有问题灭

Yeah.

对

Listen I have to kinda sneak out for a while.

我得出去一小会

All right good bye.

好吧拜拜

No wait

等下

If anyone asks you where I went you don't know.

如果有人问你我去哪了你就说不知道

Where ARE you going

你要去哪

I can't tell you that.

我不能告诉你

Who would ask me

谁会问我

I can't tell you that either.

那个我也不能说

So you brought me in here to inform me

你叫我进来通知我

that you can't tell me where you're going

你不能告诉我你去哪

and you can't tell me who might ask

也不能告诉我谁会问起你去哪儿

Yeah I really didn't think this through.

是的是我考虑不周到

Leonard a moment.

莱纳德等下

What

怎么了

If someone and of course we don't know who this would be

如有人...当然还不确定是谁

does ask where you've gone what should I say

问你去哪了我该怎么回答

I don't know. Just tell 'em I went to the office.

我不知道就说我去办公室了

Are you going to the office No.

-你要去办公室 -不

Then how can I say it convincingly

那我怎么能理直气壮地说

Just say "Leonard went to the office."

就说"莱纳德去办公室了"

All right. Leonard went to the office.

好的莱纳德去办公室了

What is... No not like that

那是... 不不是这样

Just "Leonard went to the office."

就说"莱纳德去办公室了"

This would have worked out a lot better

你要只告诉我你要去办公室

if you'd just told me you were going to the office.

就好办多了

I'm going to the office.

我要去办公室了

See Why don't I believe you

看到没为什么我不信你

I'm going out for a while.

我要出去会

Okay.

好的

Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going

没人想知道他去哪了吗

Okay where is he going

好的他去哪了

Leonard is going to the office.

莱纳德去办公室了

So how was work today

今天工作如何

Busy.

忙碌

I removed an appendix a gall bladder

切除了个阑尾胆囊

and about a foot and a half of bowel.

还有一尺半的肠子

I'm hoping that's three different guys.

希望是三个不同的老兄

No just the one.

不是就一个人

He didn't make it.

他没活下来

So how was your day

你今天过得怎么样

Oh you know I'm a physicist so...

我是个物理学家所以...

I thought about stuff.

我思考

That's it

就这些

Well I wrote some of it down.

其中的一些我记下来了

Are you done eating

吃饱了吗

Uh yeah. Oh good.

-饱了 -很好

If I knew you were waiting

早知道你在等着

I would've swallowed that lasagna whole.

面条不嚼我就咽了

You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.

斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家

Leave a message.

请留言

Hey Steph

斯蒂芬妮

it's me again Howard.

又是我霍华德

Listen if you're free Friday

如你周五有空

maybe we could have a little something to eat at my place.

可来我家吃点东西

My mom cooks a hell of a brisket.

我妈做的牛腩特别好吃

Let me know.

通知我

It's Howard.

我是霍华德

I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth.

我吃过她做的牛腩入口即化

Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom.

或许我们该去卧室

That's a good idea.

好主意

There's a bed in there and I'm very...

那有床我非常...

very very pro bed.

非常非常喜欢床

You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.

斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家

Leave a message.

请留言

Hey it's me again.

又是我

Just want to let you know

只是想通知你

the head count for dinner Friday has gone up.

周五晚餐人多起来了

My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming in from Palm Springs.

我姨妈贝蒂和舅舅艾略特从棕榈泉来

Oh and if anybody should ask

如有人问起

you're half Jewish on your mother's side.

你母亲是犹太人

Okay call me.

打给我

It's Howard.

我是霍华德

Don't you think we should tell him you're not interested

你不觉得该打电话告诉他你没兴趣吗

Do you want me to stop and call him back right now

你现在想让我停下并打电话给他

Dear God no

我的神啊不

Oh Leonard...

莱纳德

You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.

斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家

Leave a message.

请留言

Hey it's me again. Howard.

又是我霍华德

Listen my cousins from Fort Lauderdale are flying in to meet you

我表兄妹从劳德尔堡飞来见你

so that means we're gonna have to move the dinner to a restaurant.

所以我们必须到饭店吃晚餐了

Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden

告诉她我们去橄榄花园饭店

I have a coupon from the paper.

我有报纸上的优惠券

We're not going to the Olive Garden Mom

我们不会去橄榄花园饭店老妈

Oh Mr. Bigshot with his Red Lobster.

大人物和他的红龙虾

I'll call you back when we firm up the details.

我们商讨好细节再打电话给你

It's Howard.

我是霍华德

New shirts

新T恤

Yeah a couple.

对一些

Nice. Thank you.

-不错 -谢谢

So who's the girl

和哪个女孩约会呢

I'm sorry

抱歉

Well last time you bought a new shirt was when we were dating.

上次你买新T恤时我们在约会

So what we did was in fact dating

这么说我们那会是在约会了

Well yeah we did have a date.

是啊我们是约会过

Exactly. Thank you.

千真万确谢谢

Do me a favor. Tell Koothrappali that next time you see him.

帮我个忙下次见到库萨帕里的时候把刚才的话告诉他

So who is she

她是谁

Oh she's a doctor.

她是个医生

Oh nice.

不错

A doctor doctor or a you kind of doctor

是真的医生还是像你这种充数的

Doctor doctor.

真的医生

Surgical resident.

外科住院医

Smart pretty.

聪明漂亮

Let me ask you something.

问你个事

If your friend thinks he's dating someone

如你的朋友认为他在和某人约会

but he's not because in fact you're dating her

但实际上却没有然而你又在和这个人约会

does that make you a bad person

这样的话我算不算一个坏人

Well that depends.

看情况了

On what

什么情况

Is that friend Wolowitz

那朋友是沃罗威茨吗

Yeah.

没错

Screw him. You're fine.

去他的你是好人

Are you sure

你确定吗

Well have you slept with her yet

你和她上床了吗

You dog

你个小坏蛋

Good for you.

真有两下子

Does that change things

这改变什么了吗

No.

没有

So why'd you ask

那你为什么问呢

I'm nosy. See ya.

就是爱听闲事回见

Howard get the door

霍华德开门

Really Is that what you do when someone knocks

有人敲门你就这么应答吗

Thank you. I had no idea

太感谢了我不知道你会这样

Hey buddy. What brings you to my little slice of hell

伙计什么风把你吹到寒舍了

Who is it

是谁

It's Leonard

莱纳德

You're gonna have to play outside

你们得去外面玩

I'm not dressed to receive

我没穿见客的衣服

No one cares Ma

没人在乎的妈

So what's up

什么事

Listen I need to talk to you about something.

我得和你谈点事

Momentito.

稍等一下下

Yello.

你好啊

Oh Stephanie

斯蒂芬妮

thanks for calling me back. I was worried...

感谢你回电我还担心呢

No I understand.

不用我理解

Sure we can be friends. Absolutely.

没问题做朋友挺好的

Thanks for calling.

感谢回电

Yeah you have a nice day too.

你也过得愉快

You are dead to me.

你个死人

Okay who gets the extra dumpling

好吧谁吃剩下的这个水饺

Rock paper scissors lizard Spock.

石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克

Okay one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock.

好吧我们其中之一不能再出史波克了

How do we decide that Rock paper scissors lizard Spock.

-那怎么决定 -石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克

Oh hey guys.

大伙好啊

Hello.

你好

Hi Howard.

你好霍华德

Howard

霍华德

Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm in which you are

霍华德开始使用校园法则了而他唯一的目的

for all intents and purposes deceased.

就是想表明你已经亡故了

He intends to act on this by not speaking to you

他打算通过不与你说话以及在你说话时

feigning an inability to hear you when you speak

假装没听见来对你采取措施

and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence.

另外还拒绝承认你的存在

That's just ridiculous.

这也太荒谬了

Why are you cooperating with him

你为何要配合他

I don't make the rules Leonard.

规则不是我定的莱纳德

Howard come on. I didn't plan on this.

霍华德别这样我不是有意为之的

These things just happen.

事情就这么自然而然的发生了

Usually not to me but they do happen.

通常不会发生在我身上但还是发生了

Did someone just feel a cold breeze

有没有人感到有一股冷风

I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor.

我想这个隐喻是对死亡的引伸

The cold breeze is the so called ectoplasmic issue

那股冷风就是所谓的灵的外质

of a disembodied soul passing by.

一个脱离肉体的游魂

You know screw it. I'm just gonna eat the dumpling.

不管了我要吃剩下的一个了

Hey. Oh hi Steph.

你好斯蒂芬妮

Come on in. Is this a bad time

进来吧来的不是时候吗

Yeah but I don't see a better one on the horizon so...

对不过我也看不出你什么时候来合适

Oh if it isn't Mrs. Dead to Me.

如果她不是死人之妇的话就好了

Hello Howard.

你好霍华德

Sheldon

谢尔顿

I'm sorry you violated the terms of your metaphor

对不起你违反了你的隐喻

by acknowledging her existence. I'm out.

承认了她的存在我不玩了

He just won't listen to me.

他不听我解释

Okay I guess it'll just be the three of us then.

好吧我想那就只有我们三个了

Lisa's gonna be disappointed. Yeah.

利萨会很失望的是呀

Lisa

利萨

Yeah my roommate.

对我室友

She just went throh a really bad breakup

她刚刚经历了一段糟糕的恋情

and I thought she might like to meet somebody fun like you.

我想她可能想见见像你这样识趣的人

Leonard Stephanie you're alive It's a miracle.

莱纳德斯蒂芬妮你们又活过来了这真是奇迹

So anyway Lisa I just wanted to tell you again

利萨不管怎样我就想再说一次

how much I enjoyed the other night

我那晚过得很开心

and again I'm sorry for how it ended.

还有就是这样结束了我也很遗憾

But again if you could let me know about Friday.

不过如果这周五的情况你能让我知道的话

My mother needs a head count

我妈要知道有多少人

so she can know how big a brisket to get.

这样她就知道该买多大的胸肉了

Howard Howard look at this.

霍华德霍华德快看这个

Anyway call me.

记得回我话

The possibility of life on Mars has long fascinated scientists It's Howard.

科学家一直都在关注火星上是否存在生命我是霍华德

and laypersons alike.

看来其他人也在关注

It's unclear how the Mars Rover got into the crevice

火星漫步者怎样进入裂缝还尚未得知

but one thing's certain

但有一件事是确定的

The data which it has sent back contain

火星漫游者发送回来的数据

the first clear indications

第一次清楚地表明

that there may have been life on Mars.

火星上真有可能存在生命

It's a scientific discovery that has staggering implications for all mankind.

这个科学发现对全人类来说都有巨大的意义

Unfortunately we'll never know who's responsible.

遗憾的是我们永远也不会知道这归功于谁

Son of a bitch.

真他妈的混蛋

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