生活大爆炸-S06E12_生活大爆炸

S01

Well I must say Leonard

莱纳德我不得不承认

when I first heard your idea for Giant Jenga

你一开始提出巨型层层叠的主意时

I was skeptical.

我是持怀疑态度的

I can't blame you

这不能怪你

Tiny Twister was a complete bust.

上次的迷你版扭扭乐就烂爆了

No I was wrong.

但我这次错了

The looming threat of

顶着可能会

being crushed under a pile of lumber

被一堆木头压死的风险玩

does add a certain spice.

让游戏带感了不少

I've never felt so alive.

连人都精神起来了

Oh hello Alex.

你好啊艾利克斯

Uh let me go get you last night's recordings.

我去拿昨晚的录音给你

What recordings

什么录音

Well you remember when you told me I talk in my sleep

还记得你跟我说过我会说梦话吗

Well it occurred to me that like most things I say

然后我想到梦话跟我平时说的话一样

it's probably pure gold.

含金量也应该超高的吧

So I started recording it all

所以我开始录音

and now Alex gets to comb through eight hours

而现在艾利克斯得好好梳理下

of what I like to call "Sheldon After Dark."

我称为"谢家午夜论坛"的八小时长节目

Hey Leonard. Hey.

-你好吗莱纳德 -好啊

Just playing a little Giant Jenga here.

我在玩巨型层层叠呢

Oh I know I'm the one who had to buy him the helmet.

我知道啊那顶安全帽就是我买的

So do you have any plans this weekend

这周末你有什么安排吗

Well most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out

周六估计大多数时间得花在思考

where to put this game when we're done.

这玩具玩完后收哪里

How about you

你呢

Oh I'm gonna go see Kip Thorne

我要去听基普·索恩博士的

give a lecture on subatomic space time.

亚原子时空讲座

That's his take on John Wheeler's quantum foam.

他会讲述对约翰·惠勒的量子泡沫看法

That should be great.

应该会很精彩

Well if you want you can come with me.

有兴趣可以跟我一起去啊

Ah I'd love to but I'm supposed to hang out with Penny.

我也想啊可是我跟佩妮有约了

Well bring her.

带上她嘛

Well she's not really into that kind of stuff.

她对这类事情没什么兴趣

Yeah okay.

那好吧

Well if you want to hear about the lecture

那之后你对讲座内容有兴趣

I can tell you all about it at work

我可以上班时跟你说

or you know over dinner sometime.

或者... 共进晚餐时跟你说哦

What

什么

Jenga I win

你弄倒啦我赢了

第六季第十二集

生活大爆炸

Oh come on that can't be true.

拜托才不可能呢

I did the research Tony the Tiger

我真查过了托尼老虎

Dig'em the Frog Cap'n Crunch

青蛙克朗奇船长

Toucan Sam Count Chocula

巨嘴鸟山姆吸餐鬼伯爵

Trix the Rabbit Snap Crackle and Pop.

崔克斯兔卜卜米三兄弟

Not one cereal mascot is a girl.

所有谷类早餐吉祥物都是男生

It's a total breakfast sausage fest.

谷物早餐界完全"基肠""露露"啊

Are we done with this

说完了吗

Almost Franken Berry Boo Berry

快了红莓怪人蓝莓鬼鬼

Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee

糖糖熊蜜果圈圈蜂

I believe his name is Buzz.

他的名字是叫巴兹[嗡嗡声]吧

Terrific.

很好很好

Something weird happened and I don't know what to do about it.

发生了一件怪事我不知道该怎么办

What's going on

怎么了

Sheldon's assistant asked me on a date last night.

谢尔顿的助理昨晚约我

How could you do that to me

你怎么可以这么对我

You know I've been working it with Alex for weeks.

你明知道我泡她好一阵子了

Working it You can't even talk to her.

你怎么泡人家你连说话都不敢

I talk with my eyes.

我用眼神跟她交流

You look like my little cousin

我那个小表弟

when he's dropping one in his diaper.

在尿布里拉屎时就这眼神

She knows I have a girlfriend.

她都知道我有女朋友了

It's so weird.

真是太神奇了

Oh my God. You're loving this.

天啊你居然还暗爽

To my bones.

暗爽到爆啊

I mean I'm not gonna do anything about it. I love Penny.

我当然是不可能会对她下手啦我爱佩妮

It's just nice to have a young attractive woman

只是有个年轻貌美的女性

sniffing around the goods.

对我有意思也很不错嘛

I both hate you and want to be you.

我又恨你又想当你

This is Ryan Gosling all over again.

瑞恩·高斯林的事又重演了

Aw gentlemen.

各位同志

What is on the conversational menu this morning

今早的聊天话题选项有什么呢

Leonard stole my woman and he knew full well

莱纳德抢了我的妞他明明知道

I was only six to eight months away from making my move.

我只差六到八个月就要对她展开攻势了

I didn't steal anyone.

我才没抢走谁呢

Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk

你的助理明摆着对他有意思

and he loves it.

他还暗爽

Well that's not acceptable.

这样可不行

I'm her boss.

我是她的老板

She needs to be solely focused on my needs

她只能关注以及满足我的需求

not distracted by your pasty

不该被你苍白无力

androgynous brand of sexuality.

雌雄难辨的弱鸡阳气吸引

I'm androgynous

我怎么雌雄难辨了

Oh please. Look at you

拜托哦你也不看看

with your pouty bee stung lips.

你那爱撅起的腊肠嘴

What do you guys think I should do

你们觉得我该怎么回应她

I say you tell Alex your heart belongs to Penny

我觉得你应该告诉她你只爱佩妮

I provide her a shoulder to cry on

然后我借肩膀给她哭诉

and then roughly half a year later I give it to her good.

然后差不多半年后我就能给她"来一发"了

I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice.

我要感谢你们能这么快就赶过来

Uh in the past I've reached out

过去呢我曾与在座各位

to each of you individually

有过单独请益的时刻

but I believe my present situation

但这次我觉得这次的情况

requires the collective wisdom of the group

需要你们一起共同集思广益

which as you can see from your commemorative T shirts

想必你们从纪念T恤上也能看得出

I have dubbed

我标注上了

Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies.

谢尔顿·库伯姐妹顾问团

What is happening

发生什么事了

I need your advice about a delicate workplace situation.

我需要你们为一件敏感的职场关系给意见

Uh to protect those involved

为了保护当事人隐私

I'll be changing their names.

我会替他们取假名

Who's involved

当事人有谁啊

Well a short bespectacled colleague of mine

我的一个活在他绝顶聪明的

who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate.

室友光环之下的四眼鸡矮子同事

Let's call this colleague Ricardo Shilly Shally.

这叫他"里卡多·谢利沙力"吧

You're talking about Leonard.

你是在说莱纳德

No no Shilly Shally has red hair

不不谢利沙力有一头红发

and uh he briefly served in the Mexican Navy.

他曾在墨西哥海军短期服役过

Anyway despite the fact that he has a girlfriend

虽然他已经有一个女朋友

Shilly Shally has been the recipient

谢利沙力是遭年轻女性

of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady.

对他做不适宜的职场调戏的受方

It's your assistant Alex isn't it No.

-攻方就是你的助理艾利克斯吧 -不对

Not... No. This is Tondelaya Della Ventimiglia.

才不是是唐德莱娅·德拉·文蒂米利亚

Wait what the hell's going on with Leonard and Alex

等等莱纳德跟艾利克斯到底是怎么回事

I'm sorry. Who's talking about Leonard and Alex

抱歉谁在说莱纳德和艾利克斯啊

Fine. Ricardo and Tondelaya.

好吧是里卡多和唐德莱娅

Okay look it's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya.

其实我要说的重点不是里卡多和唐德莱娅

It is really about her boss

而是唐德莱娅的博士老板

who doesn't quite know how to handle this situation

他不知道该如何处理这种情况

and could use your advice

所以需要你们给出主意

which is surprising because Dr. Einstein Von Brainstorm...

这有些反常因为爱因斯坦·冯·集思广益博士

He's usually pretty smart about these things.

向来很会处理这种情况

I'm gonna kill her.

我要杀了她

I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.

我相信你没什么好担心的

Leonard would never cheat on you.

莱纳德绝对不会背叛你

She's right.

她说得对

But say the word I got a lab

但只要你开口我有满满

full of cocaine addicted monkeys with nothing to lose.

一实验室不怕死的毒瘾疯猴随时听候差遣

One of them could end up in the backseat of her car.

可以扔一个进她的汽车后座

Or her shower.

或是她的浴室

Ladies ladies please.

女士们女士们拜托

We're not here to talk about Penny okay

我们不是来这里讨论佩妮的好吗

We're here to talk about me.

我们是来讨论我的

Uh I mean Einstein Von Brainst... Oh darn it

我是说爱因斯坦·冯·集思... 我靠

All right I guess the cat's out of the bag.

好吧说溜嘴了

Let me explain what's going on

那我就来解释下发生了什么事吧

Ricardo is really Leonard...

里卡多其实是莱纳德...

We know what's going on Sheldon

我们知道发生了什么事谢尔顿

Well what should I do

那我应该怎么做

Well Alex is your employee.

艾利克斯是你的员工

If she's doing something that's making Leonard uncomfortable

如果她做出一些让莱纳德觉得不舒服的事

you should talk to her.

那你应该跟她谈谈

Oh no he's not uncomfortable at all.

不他才没有不舒服呢

No he's loving it.

他暗爽死了好吗

Yeah he's strutting around like he's five foot six.

对啊他趾高气昂地好像自己有两米那么高

What... He's loving it

什么他很暗爽

Sheldon you need to talk to Alex right away.

谢尔顿你得马上跟艾利克斯谈谈

Talk to her That's all you've got

谈谈就只有这种建议啊

With a cool name like Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies

"谢尔顿·库伯姐妹顾问团"的名字这么牛气

I really expected more.

我本来期望很高呢

Give me back the T shirts.

把T恤还我

Alex...

艾利克斯

check my schedule.

查下我的日程表

What does my afternoon look like

今天下午我有什么安排

I think it's pretty wide open.

我记得好像没有任何安排

Oh wait. Here's something at 4 00.

慢着四点有安排

"Give Alex a talking to"

"跟艾利克斯谈谈"

Well that snuck up on us didn't it

这安排真是悄无声息出人意料啊

Is there a problem

有什么问题吗

Let's not call it a problem.

那其实不叫问题

Let's call it an opportunity.

我们应该称其为"机会"

To solve a serious problem.

一个解决严重问题的机会

What did I do

我做错什么了

You don't know Oh you poor dear.

你不知道吗可怜的小宝贝

Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice

你的卵巢把太多愚蠢分泌物

into your brains you don't even know which way is up.

都送到你脑子害你人都傻了

You made an inappropriate sexual advance

你对霍夫斯塔德博士做出

towards Dr. Hofstadter. What

-不恰当的性企图 -什么

I didn't make a sexual advance on anybody.

我没有对任何人做任何性企图

Now there's no need to get defensive.

别这么快就开始激动辩解

I'm not unsympathetic to your plight.

我对你的情况表示同情

My father used to say that a woman

我的父亲过去常说女人就像

is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.

德州温暖天气中的鸡蛋沙拉三明治

What

什么意思

Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.

鸡蛋[卵子]满满诱惑短短[容易坏]

This conversation is making me uncomfortable.

这次谈话让我觉得很不舒服

Yeah you and me both sister.

不止你我也是妹妹

Now

现在

please understand...

请你明白

I don't hold you responsible for your behavior

你的行为我并不觉得是你的错

because see from an evolutionary standpoint

因为从进化的角度看

you're a slave to your desire to reproduce.

你不过是自身繁殖欲望的奴隶

But during the work day

但在工作时间

when you feel possessed by amorous intent

当你觉得自己有求欢的意图时

may I suggest that you suppress it

我能否建议你

by leafing through this illustrated book

通过翻阅这本性传播疾病的绘本

of sexually transmitted diseases

来抑制住你的欲望

Let's see here. Oh yes.

我们看一下就这页

Check out this oozy doozy.

你看看这张小恶心图片

I have to go.

我要走了

So does this fellow

这位仁兄也是

but he can't without it burning like hot soup.

但他走不了他那里就跟热汤那样烧得慌

Hey pretty lady.

嗨美女

Oh you seem extra happy.

你看起来格外开心啊

Uh I guess I am.

应该是吧

Any particular reason why

有什么特别的原因吗

Mm I don't know just having a good day.

不知道就是今天过得还不错

This morning Sheldon fell asleep on the way to work

早上谢尔顿在去上班的路上睡着了

so I got to listen to the radio

所以我有机会听广播

that was pretty crazy.

好疯狂的一早

Anything else

还有别的吗

I found this quiz online called

我在网上发现一个小测试

"Which Star Trek Character Are You "

名叫"测测你是星际迷航中的谁"

and it only took me four tries to get Captain Kirk.

我测了四次终于测到柯克船长[角色]

That's great.

很好啊

Oh. It. Was.

的确如此

Well I'm glad you're having such a great day.

很高兴你今天过得这么开心

And the one thing that could make it even better

还有一件让我更开心的事就是

is an evening with my special girl.

晚上要跟我特别的姑娘约会

Oh and who's that

哪一个啊

What do you mean

这话什么意思

Oh I just didn't know if you meant me or Alex.

我不知道特别的姑娘是指我还是艾利克斯

Um why would I mean Alex

为什么会指艾利克斯

Because I know she hit on you

因为我知道她对你有意思

and I know you liked it

而且我还知道你很暗爽

What...

哪里...有

Don't play dumb with me Ricardo Shilly Shally

别跟老娘装傻里卡多·谢利沙力

I'm missing something.

我是不是漏了什么事

Did you say something to Penny about Alex

你是不是跟佩妮说了艾利克斯的事

Oh yes. Yeah and a fat lot of good it did me.

没错而且还得到了"很多帮助"呢

All she did was get mad at you.

"帮助"就是她光顾着生你的气了

Why would you do that

你为什么要这样做

I needed advice about a woman.

我需要关于女人的建议

I would have asked you

我本来可以问你的

but if the last few years have proven anything

但要说过去几年证明了什么

it's that you can't tell a uterus from a unicycle.

那就是你连子宫和独轮车都分不清

At least I know not to blab to a girl

至少我知道随便对女生透露

about somebody flirting with her boyfriend.

有人追她男友是不对的

Good to know.

知道这个太好了

Yeah a few more helpful hints like that

你再多说点这类的金玉良言

you may find yourself on the Council of Ladies.

就可以名正言顺地加入姐妹顾问团了

Hello.

你好

I see.

这样啊

Uh what time

几点

Very well then.

好的

That was the Human Resources Department at the university.

是学校的人事部打来的

Apparently my assistant Alex has filed a complaint

我的助理艾利克斯居然投诉了我

accusing me of inappropriate behavior in the workplace.

说我在办公场所有不当行为

Oh my God what did you do

老天啊你做了什么

Hmm let me think.

我回忆一下

Nothing. I'm a delight.

没什么啊我超萌超有爱的

Human Resources Department.

人事部

Human Resources Department.

人事部

Human Resources Department.

人事部

Come in.

请进

Hello.

你好

Ah Dr. Cooper have a seat.

是你啊库珀博士请坐吧

Thank you.

谢谢

I called you in today because your assistant

我今天叫你来是因为你的助理

Alex Jensen has lodged a complaint against you.

艾利克斯·詹森投诉了你

So I've been told.

我听说了

But I can't understand what she has to complain about.

但我不明白她有什么可抱怨的

I mean she has a front row seat as I make scientific history.

她处在见证我改写科学界历史的最前线

There's string cheese in my mini fridge

我的迷你冰箱里随时备有奶酪棒

and that's for anyone.

大家都可以享用

Yeah and just yesterday

而且就在昨天

I led her away from a life of sexual promiscuity

我向她展示染上妇科病的生殖器图片

by making her look at pictures of disease ridden genitalia.

指引她走出了淫乱的歧途

Cancel my next appointment.

取消下一位的面谈

This is gonna take a while.

这位估计得耗点时间

Dr. Cooper

库珀博士

you said things to your employee

你对你的下属

that you just cannot say in the workplace.

说了在职场上不应该说的话

Like what

比如什么

Well according to Ms. Jensen

据詹森女士说

you said that she was a slave to her biological urges

你说她是自己生理需求的奴隶

and called her an "egg salad sandwich."

并且称呼她为"鸡蛋沙拉三明治"

I don't even know what that means

虽然我不知道那是什么比喻

but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you you can't say it.

但我告诉你说那种话是不行的

Oh I see the confusion here.

我明白怎么会有误会了

No no Alex thought I was singling her out. No.

艾利克斯以为我在针对她不是这样的

I meant that all women

我的意思是所有女人

are slaves to their biological urges you know

都是自己生理需求的奴隶

Even you.

你也一样

You're a slave.

你是个奴隶

I'm a what

我是什么来着

Well y you... I I'm just saying you know

我的意思是

at a certain point in a woman's menstrual cycle...

在女性生理周期的某一时刻

Whuh ah

停停停

You can't talk about that either Dr. Cooper.

这也是你不能谈论的库珀博士

Your language is entirely inappropriate

你的语言非常不恰当

and I'm gonna advise that you shut your mouth right now.

我建议立刻给我闭嘴

I d... I don't see why I'm the one being persecuted here.

我真不明白被指责的怎么会是我

Dr. Hofstadter he was bragging about

霍夫斯塔德博士每抓到一个听众

his sexual desirability to anyone who would listen.

他就要炫耀自己有多风靡女性万千

You know and Howard Wolowitz

还有霍华德·沃罗威茨

he spent two years using university resources

他花了两年时间利用学校的资源

building a six breasted sex robot.

制造了一个六乳性爱机器人

And at the office Christmas party

我还在部门的圣诞派对里

I heard Rajesh Koothrappali

听到拉杰什·库萨帕里

refer to you several times as "brown sugar."

好几次称你为"棕糖美妞"

Hofstadter...

霍夫斯塔德

Wolowitz...

沃罗威茨

and the last one was Rajesh Koothrappali

最后一个是拉杰什·库萨帕里

Yes.

是的

No yeah but in his defense

对但我得为他澄清一下

that wasn't racist.

他不是对你有种族歧视

He's also brown.

他也是棕皮肤人种

Sorry Alex hit on me

抱歉艾利克斯喜欢我

Hit on me

喜欢我

Hit on me

喜欢我

Sorry Alex hit on me

抱歉艾利克斯喜欢我

I'd no idea I'm cute

我不知道自己很讨喜

Oh damn it you are.

可恶你确实讨喜

Please forgive me.

原谅我吧

I should have told you about Alex.

我应该早点告诉你艾利克斯的事

I don't care about Alex.

我不在乎她

Fine I care.

好吧我在乎

Okay I hate that bitch.

好吧我讨厌那小贱人

But what really hurt is that you liked it so much.

但你竟然那么暗爽太让我难过了

I mean do I need to be worried

我需要担心你变心吗

Of course not. No. Why

当然不用啦担心什么啊

Because...she is pretty and smart

因为她又漂亮又聪明

and when you talk about work she doesn't have to go home

你们要是谈论工作的东西她不必跑回家

and look up words in the dictionary to understand what you said.

翻翻字典才能理解你在说什么

You do that No.

-你会那样做啊 -才不会

Hang on. Are you feeling insecure

等一下你是没有安全感吗

Because that's my thing

那可是我专属的事

and if you take it away

要是你把这个活抢走了

I don't know what I'm bringing to this relationship.

那我们的关系之中我就贡献不出东西了

Yes Leonard I am insecure.

对莱纳德我没安全感

Happy No

-开心吗 -不

I'm not happy.

不开心

Why are you smiling I'm sorry.

-那你干嘛笑 -对不起嘛

I just never think of you having feelings like that.

我从没想过你会有这种感觉

Well I do. Why

-我有的 -为什么呢

Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Alex.

我和艾利克斯绝对没可能

Good.

很好

Come here.

过来

I'll tell you a secret What's that

-告诉你个秘密吧 -什么

With all these women chasing me

有这么多姑娘追我

I kind of do feel like Captain Kirk.

我觉得自己好像柯克船长

Can I tell you a secret Sure.

-我也能说个秘密吗 -当然

Keep talking about Captain Kirk

继续说什么柯克船长吧

and we're all gonna stop.

估计我们撑得过今天撑不过明天

Message... received.

信息已收到[模仿柯克船长]

Ah excuse me.

不好意思

Hello.

你好

This is Dr. Hofstadter.

我是霍夫斯塔德博士

Okay.

好的

All right thank you.

知道了谢谢

That's weird.

奇了怪了

I'm getting called in to Human Resources.

人事部叫我过去一趟

What did you do

你做了什么了

I don't know.

我不知道

I just got called in to Human Resources.

人事部刚刚叫我过去一趟

Why I don't know.

-为什么 -不知道

That is so strange.

真是太奇怪了

Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow.

人事部叫我明天过去一趟

Could you stop licking your ass for two minutes

你能不能停下"孤菊自舔"两分钟啊

I have a problem here.

老子现在有麻烦

Do you really think you should be drinking right now

你真觉得现在是喝酒的好时机吗

How else am I supposed to talk to the Human Resources lady

不然我等会怎么回答人事部小姐的问题

I don't know. Seek professional help

不知道看心理医生怎么样

I did. The guy at the liquor store said

我有啊酒类专卖店的人说

this stuff tastes great in coffee.

这玩意配咖啡口感不错

Wait you got called in too

等下你也被召来了吗

What is going on

出什么事了

Sheldon threw us all under the bus.

谢尔顿把我们都拉来陪葬了

I feel like I've been called down to the principal's office.

我感觉自己像是见校长的坏学生

Although I wouldn't mind if Brown Sugar suspended me.

不过我可不介意被"棕糖美妞"打屁屁

From a sex swing

还是在性爱秋千上打哦

This may have been a mistake.

喝酒可能是个错误决定

Relax. Everything's gonna be fine.

放轻松没事的

You know before I met Bernadette

要知道在我碰到伯纳黛特前

I was in here every other day.

我是这里三天两头报到的常客

Uh little tip

友情提示下

turn off your "I Like Big Butts" ringtone before you go in.

进去前先把"我喜欢大屁妞"的铃声调成静音

Well this is all your fault.

这都是你的错

How is this my fault

怎么成我的错了

If you weren't screwing around with Sheldon's assistant

如果你没和谢尔顿的助理鬼混

none of this would be happening.

根本不会发生现在这种破事

I wasn't screwing around with anyone.

我才没跟任何人鬼混

Oh of course not.

是哦没有

She was just sniffing around your goods

那你是想说她在"闻你的货时"

because she was hunting for truffles.

只是单纯在找松露而已吗[靠猪的嗅觉找]

Ah Mr. Wolowitz it's been a while.

沃罗威茨先生好久不见

Hey Janine.

你好洁宁

How are Tom and the kids

汤姆和孩子们好吗

Fine.

很好

You must be Dr. Hofstadter.

你一定是霍夫斯塔德博士吧

Yes but I think this is all a big misunderstanding.

是但我想这是个天大的误会

Yeah yeah me too.

你也误会我了

I didn't do anything.

我什么都没干

Is that alcohol on your breath

你怎么说话满嘴酒气

Howard built a sex robot.

霍华德造了个性爱机器人

That is not true.

没有这回事

All I did was build a robot.

我就只是造了个机器人而已

Did it have six breasts

你那个机器人有六个胸吗

I'm sorry I'm a feminist

抱歉我是个尊重男女平等的人

I don't notice things like

我不会特别注意

how many breasts a robot has.

机器人有多少乳房这种事

Well hello.

大家好

What are you doing here

你来干嘛

Actually I came to speak to Mrs. Davis.

我是来找戴维斯夫人的

And I'm a little busy right now.

我现在有点忙

But I came to file a complaint.

我是来投诉的

Yeah somebody has made me feel uncomfortable in the workplace

有人在工作场所通过用不当的

by using language of an inappropriate and sexual nature.

和带性字眼的言语骚扰我让我觉得不适

And who was that

是谁呢

You you dirty birdie.

就你啊你这色色的婆娘

I I thought about the things you said to me yesterday

我回想了下你昨天跟我说过的话

and I realized I'm deeply offended.

我意识到那是对我深深的冒犯

Now be a dear and get me one of those complaint forms.

现在乖乖去给本大爷拿投诉表来

That's it.

够了

All of you in my office now

所有人马上进我办公室

And thanks to you I know better than to ask

多亏你的"教导" 我不至于傻到问

if you're menstruating.

你是不是来"大姨妈"了

And based on your behavior I don't have to.

而看你这狂躁样不问也知道

It has been pointed out to me that...

经过训示后我才明白

some of the things I said to you

我对你说的某些话

could be construed as... offensive

可能会被理解成无礼

and I would like to offer you

我愿意向你表达

my sincerest apology.

我最真诚的歉意

Thank you Dr. Cooper. Yeah additionally

-谢谢库珀博士 -另外

you should know that the university has mandated

跟你说下校方要求我

that I take an online sexual harassment seminar

参加在线性骚扰研讨班

so this sort of thing doesn't happen in the future.

这样以后不会再发生类似的事情

Okay. Yeah. Now

-好的 -现在

unfortunately uh my time is much too valuable

遗憾的是我的时间太过宝贵

to waste on nonsense like this

不能浪费在这种屁事上面

so... um I'm gonna need you to take it for me.

所以我需要你替我考过这个测试

Oh and uh you'd better ace it

还有你最好给我得个A

they're pretty mad.

因为校方还挺生气的

So hey I was thinking about that stuff with Alex.

我一直在想你和艾利克斯的事

Oh would you stop worrying about that

拜托你别再为这个烦心了

I can't help it. But look I figured

我也没办法但我想着

I could sit around and feel insecure

我可以不作为一直觉得没安全感

or I could do something about it.

或者也可以做出行动

So I got a course catalog at school

所以我拿了学校的课程表

and looked at some of the science classes.

看下了科学类课程

That's great.

太好了

No it isn't they are extremely boring.

一点也不好那些课都闷死了

I mean how do you not kill yourself like every day

你怎么撑到现在还没有自杀

Anyway I decided I don't need to be a scientist

话说回来我觉得我没必要做科学家

I could just look like one.

我只要看起来像就行

So I bought these.

所以我买了这个

Glasses

眼镜

I really don't think that's gonna change

我不觉得这会有什么帮助...

oh my God

我的天啊

you look so smart and hot

你看起来真是聪明绝顶兼性感撩人

I know right Watch this.

我知道瞧好啦

Molecules.

分子

Okay come with me.

跟我来吧

Where are we going To my bedroom

-去哪里 -我的卧室

so I can take everything off but those glasses...

这样我可以扒光你除了眼镜外的一切衣物

and maybe the boots.

靴子也留着好了

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