生活大爆炸-S09E11_生活大爆炸

S01

Guys tickets already went on sale What

-大伙们票已经开卖啦 -什么

They're not supposed to be available yet.

不应该现在就开卖啊

I don't know what to tell you but they're on sale

我也不知道原因但就是开卖了

What Wait. You're sure they're Star Wars tickets

等等你确定是新的《星球大战》电影票吗

No it's Steel Magnolias 2 Even Steelier.

不是《钢木兰2: 钢上加钢》的票

《钢木兰》是1989年的女性友情电影

The Web site's frozen. I can't get in

网页卡住了我上不了

Same here

我也是

Guys they're gonna sell out What are we gonna do

-这样下去票会卖光的 -我们该怎么办

All right this goes against everything I stand for

好吧虽然这违背我一直以来的信仰

but desperate times call for desperate measures.

但走投无路也只能出此下策

Lord...

主啊

This is Sheldon Cooper.

我是谢尔顿·库珀

You're good friends with my mom.

您跟我母亲是好朋友

I know I've spent my life denying that you exist.

我知道我这辈子一直在否认您的存在

Got 'em And I will continue to do so

-买到了 -我还会继续否认下去

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第十一集

I'm really happy you and Amy are back together.

你跟艾米和好如初我好高兴

今时今日

Oh thank you.

谢谢

I'm also really happy but I can't pretend it's for you.

我也很高兴但我假装不了是为你高兴

New Star Wars in three days

新星战电影三天后要上啦

Hey Thursday can't get here soon enough.

鉴于周四还不能马上到来

I'm taking off work to watch the original trilogy

我要请假不上班在家看原作三部曲

while I eat enough Star Wars cereal to choke a Wookiee.

还要一边吃[掐死]伍基人星战谷麦片

Uh sweetie you do realize Thursday is Amy's birthday.

亲爱的你知道周四是艾米的生日吧

And you do realize I bought my ticket

那你也知道我买票的时候

when Amy and I were broken up

我跟艾米还没有复合呢

I hope you didn't need anything in that case

希望板子上没有你需要的东西了

'cause it's closed.

因为已经拍板定案了

You guys just got back together.

你们才刚刚复合

You might not want to ditch her on her birthday.

她生日那天抛下她不太妙吧

I think Penny has a point. You can see it another day.

我觉得佩妮说得有道理你可以改天看嘛

But someone might spoil the movie.

但别人可能会剧透啊

No one can spoil Amy's birthday for me.

但艾米的生日别人就没办法剧透

Surprise She's even older.

"惊喜她又老一岁了"

Who saw that coming

真是"万万没想到"啊

Oh that's nice.

这话真"甜蜜"

Put that on her cake.

写到她蛋糕上去吧

Oh great. This again.

这下好又来了

Arthur what brings you back

亚瑟什么风把你给吹来了

Uh beats me. I I just...

你把我问倒了我...

hope this isn't a a sex dream.

只希望入的不是春梦

In the past you've come to me

过去你曾在我

when I'm struggling with a dilemma.

碰到困境的时候来指点迷津

And and the one time where... where you were afraid

还有一次是在你晚上害怕

and you needed me for... for a night light.

需要我来... 当夜灯

What's what's troubling you

什么事困扰到你了

My friends are telling me

我的小伙伴们跟我说

I shouldn't abandon my girlfriend on her birthday

我不应该在女朋友生日时抛下她

to see the new Star Wars movie.

跑去看新的《星球大战》

Well sounds right.

感觉说得没错啊

Can... can I get out of this...

我能脱下这身...

muumuu now

夏威夷妇女穆穆袍了吗

Those are the robes of the Jedi

这是绝地武士的袍子

the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.

是银河系和平与正义的守护者呢

And they... they they don't wear underwear.

他们... 他们都不穿小内内

So you agree with my friends

所以你也同意他们的话

that I should skip the premiere

我不应该去看首映吗

Uh do... do you love this girl

你爱那个女孩吗

Yes.

爱

But she knows how important Star Wars is to me.

但她知道《星球大战》对我有多重要

Well maybe you should show her how...

或许你应该证明给她看看

how important she is to you.

她在你心中到底多重要

By seeing the movie she'd want me to see

其方式是看她希望我看的电影吗

Sheldon you you can see this movie whenever you want.

谢尔顿你有数不清的时间能看这电影

But you only have a limited number of days

但你能跟这女孩在一起的时间

that you you can be with this woman.

却是有限的

Be with her.

陪她吧

You're right.

你说得对

Great.

太好了

Where are you going

你要上哪去

I don't know

我不知道

but hopefully somewhere I can wear pants.

但希望是一个我能穿裤子的地方

Sheldon what's wrong

谢尔顿怎么了

I wanted to let you know I'll be spending your birthday with you.

我想让你知道我会陪你过生日

Okay.

好的

See I I had tickets to the Star Wars premiere that night

本来那晚我有《星球大战》首映会的票

but Professor Proton came to me in a dream dressed as

可质子教授入我的梦身上还穿着

Obi Wan Kenobi and convinced me I should be with you.

绝地武士欧比旺·肯诺比的衣服来劝我陪你

Obi what

欧比啥

I'll I'll let you get back to sleep now. Good night.

不打扰你了你先回去睡吧晚安

Okay. Good night.

好晚安

Wait. Um Sheldon

等等谢尔顿

were you actually not gonna spend my birthday with me

本来我生日那天你是不打算陪我的吗

It's late. Got to go. Bye.

时间晚了要睡了再见

Good for Sheldon deciding to stay with Amy on her birthday.

谢尔顿决定陪艾米过生日这事得点个赞

I know.

对啊

It's still gonna be weird to see the movie without him.

去看电影时少了他还是会有点怪

Well we could wait a couple days and see it together.

我们可以多等两天等他一起看啊

Hello.

你们好啊

We're going to the comic book store. You want to come

我们要去漫画书店你要一起吗

No I can't.

去不了

I need to make preparations for Amy's birthday.

我得为艾米的生日做准备

Which leads me to the following bit of business.

因此我要先把这件事干了

This is my ticket to Star Wars.

这是我《星球大战》的电影票

I don't have to tell you it is worth far more

不用我说你也知道这张票的价值

than its face value of $15.50.

远远超过面额上的15.5美元

I trust you'll give it to someone worthy.

我相信你会把它交给值得拥有的人

You got it.

没问题

Well Penny might want to join us.

佩妮可能会想跟我们一起去看

This is my ticket to Star Wars.

这是我《星球大战》的电影票

Penny.

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

What happens if I say "Come in"

如果是我回"请进"会怎么样

Well find out.

试试看呗

Come in

请进

Bernadette

伯纳黛特

Bernadette Bernadette

伯纳黛特伯纳黛特

Come in

请进

Keep it up.

你俩就闹吧

I got nowhere else to be.

反正我有的是时间

Just come in.

快进来吧

For future reference if I want to watch Mean Girls

以后如果我想看《贱女孩》这部片

I'll stream it on Netflix.

我会直接去网上看

We're sorry. What do you need

抱歉啦你找我们干嘛

Well as you know

你们也知道

I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her

我会陪艾米一起庆祝生日

and I could use your assistance

我需要你们的协助

in helping me select the perfect gift.

帮我挑出最完美的礼物

Sure.

当然可以

Well so far I've come up with three ideas.

目前为止我有三个想法

The first is a chance for her to play the harp

第一个是一个跟洛杉矶爱乐管弦乐团

with the L.A. Philharmonic.

演奏竖琴的机会

Wow. You can really arrange that

哇你真的能安排这事吗

Well I said a chance you know.

机会嘛可能有也可能没有

When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's

你跟连锁餐厅说今天是自己生日

they make a fuss.

他们也会大开方便之门

I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

我觉得洛杉矶爱乐管弦乐团也会这样吧

How about something a little more realistic

不如来点实际的

Well Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters

艾米喜欢自己织毛衣

so I was thinking of getting her an all expense paid trip

我在想自掏腰包赞助她去参加

to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.

威斯康辛州羊及羊毛节

Sorry. I was waiting for the bazinga.

抱歉我刚才在等你说"逗你玩"

Hold on. It could be romantic.

等等那也可以很浪漫啊

The two of them away together

他们俩一起远离尘嚣

keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.

在白雪皑皑的威斯康辛州相互取暖

No no no no. She'd be going alone.

不不不她自己去而已

Well if you think I'm afraid of birds

如果你们觉得我很怕鸟

you should see me around sheep.

那真该看看我遇到羊会怎么样

Okay well what's the third option

好吧第三个选项是什么

That I have coitus with her.

我跟她交媾

What do you think about giving Sheldon's ticket to Stuart

你们觉得把谢尔顿的票给斯尔图特怎么样

I don't know.

不知道

Have you ever seen a movie with Stuart before

你们跟斯尔图特一起看过电影吗

It's like going with your grandpa.

感觉就像跟自己爷爷去看电影

Instead of eating popcorn

不吃爆米花

he brings little pieces of chicken in Tupperware

他自带保鲜盒装的鸡肉片

and a thermos full of soup.

还有保温瓶盛满了热汤

He's not that bad.

他没那么糟啦

Hey Stuart got any plans Thursday night

斯尔图特你周四晚上有事吗

My uh... my doctor's worried about my circulation

我的医生担心我的血液循环

so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

所以我本来打算去商场走走

Why

怎么了

Hey you guys.

你们好啊

Oh make sure to wear sensible shoes.

记得穿舒服点的鞋子哦

Wil want to go to Star Wars Thursday

威尔周四想一起去看《星球大战》吗

Absolutely.

当然好啊

Fine take Wil.

好啊带威尔去吧

See if he brings you clam chowder.

看他会不会给你们带蛤蜊浓汤

Okay okay okay okay okay.

好吧好吧

Let's let's... let's just recap our options.

我们...我们再过一遍所有选项

All right we've got harp thing sheep thing...

有竖琴演奏绵羊织毛

Wild thang.

狂野做爱

Which do you think she'd prefer

你们觉得她最喜欢哪一个

Because I checked the Sheep and Wool Festival Web site

因为我查过羊及羊毛节的官网

and there's only 8 000 tickets left.

只剩8千张票了

Sheldon being physical with Amy is a huge step for you.

谢尔顿跟艾米发生肉体关系可是重大的一步啊

Yeah are you ready for this

是啊你准备好了吗

Intimacy in any form has been challenging for me

任何形式的亲密对我来说都是挑战

but I'd like to show her how important she is

但我想向她证明她对我有多重要

and it feels like now might be the right time.

而我感觉现在就是最好的时机

Sheldon that's so beautiful.

谢尔顿这理由太美了

Then it's settled.

那就这么定了

Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.

艾米的生日礼物就是我的生殖器

Thanks for taking me out.

多谢你们带我出去

Well you're spending your birthday with Sheldon.

既然你的生日要跟谢尔顿一起过

Why not celebrate early

何不跟我们提前庆祝呢

So where do you want to go

你想去哪里

I heard that new Mexican place on Green Street is good.

我听说格林路上那间新的墨西哥餐厅不错

Sure sure.

好啊

Or we could take you to get a bikini wax.

或者我们可以带你去做比基尼蜜蜡脱毛

Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday

为什么我生日要做比基尼蜜蜡脱毛

Uh I don't know. It was just a thought.

不知道我就随口一说

I think I'll just stick to Mexican.

我觉得还是去吃墨西哥菜好了

Great. And then maybe after we can watch a dirty movie

很好吃完以后我们可以去看部小黄片

and if anybody has any questions about what happened or how

如果有人对怎么回事或怎么做有疑问

we can answer them.

我们可以负责解答

Okay what is going on

好吧到底怎么回事

Oh we just want you to be prepared

我们只是希望你对

for any surprises that might happen tomorrow.

明天可能发生的惊喜做好准备

What surprises

什么惊喜

We don't want to spoil anything

我们不想剧透坏了惊喜

but you should know that

但谢尔顿说

Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.

他做好跟你发生肉体关系的准备了

You shut your damn mouth

你们少他妈逗我玩

You actually heard him say this

你们真的听到他这么说了吗

Yes. He said he wants to do something

是的他说了他想做点什么

to show you how much you mean to him.

来证明你对他有多重要

I I can't believe it. I...

真不敢相信

I don't know what to say.

我不知道该说什么了

Well we're really happy for you

我们很为你高兴

and we know how much he cares...

我们都知道他多看重...

I do know what to say Let's get me waxed

我知道说什么了快给我下体除毛

Why isn't it ever Angie Dickinson's bedroom

为什么永远都不是安吉·迪金森的卧室

以美腿闻名的性感女星

You're back.

你回来了

It it doesn't seem like it's up to me.

这似乎不是我能决定的

I suppose you're here because...

我猜你来是因为

I've decided to be physical with my girlfriend

我决定跟我的女朋友发生肉体关系了

and I've never done that before.

而我以前从来没有做过

E Excuse me for a moment.

稍等一下

Well it was worth a shot.

至少努力过了

So can you help me

所以你能帮我吗

Uh all right. Um...

好吧

once once the man gets

当一个男人

the the woman out of her... out of her bloomers...

把一个女人的灯笼内裤脱掉

Oh no. Not that.

不不是那个

I I understand the mechanics.

我知道"做"法

Oh good good. 'Cause uh

很好因为...

I have no idea what kids these days are...

我完全不知道现在的孩子们

calling their their parts.

都怎么称呼他们的"部位"

I think they say "junk".

他们好像是说"大屌"[垃圾]

What is happening to this world

这世界到底怎么了

What what do you actually need to know

你究竟想知道什么

This is an important night for us

那一晚将对我俩来说都很重要

and I'm worried I might be overwhelmed

我有点担心自己会太紧张

and ruin everything.

然后搞砸了

Sheldon if if you're with the right person

谢尔顿如果对方是对的人

it it'll be okay.

一切都会水到渠成

Thank you Arthur.

谢谢你亚瑟

You are the wisest of the wise.

你是世界上最有智慧的人

Well that's that's very nice of you to say

很高兴你能这么说

but I think I'm just an expression of...

可我觉得我只不过是

of your unconscious mind.

你潜意识的映射

Oh sure. Yeah.

当然了

Well you're fun to look at.

但是看着你挺好玩的嘛

Tonight's the night

就是今晚了

Yeah the wait is finally over

是啊终于等到了

I know. Then you'll finally stop talking about it

对啊你们终于可以不再提这事了

Ready to go Let's do this.

-准备好了吗 -来吧

Have fun guys

祝你们开心哦

We will. I can't believe Sheldon gave this up.

-我们会的 -不敢相信谢尔顿会放弃这个

I know. We're gonna have so much more fun than him.

是啊我们肯定会玩得比他开心得多

No they're not.

不他们不会的

Knowing them they will.

依他们的尿性会的

T minus 15 minutes

倒数15分钟

Oh did you hear from Wil

威尔联系你了吗

Yeah he's on his way.

他在路上了

Time for bladder check.

膀胱检查时间

Check.

检查完毕

Check.

检查完毕

Check. Wait.

检查完毕等等

Screw it. I'm holding it.

管他的我决定忍着

What is everyone booing at

大家都在嘘什么

Hey guys. What's up

各位你们好吗

Um hey Wil. What you doin'

威尔你在干什么

I was on Star Trek. I'm just rooting for the home team.

我演过《星际迷航》当然要支持自家人

Star Trek stinks

《星际迷航》烂透了

Yeah Live long and suck it

是吗生生不息滚你妈逼

Birthday girl.

生日女孩

Birthday girl. Birthday girl.

生日女孩生日女孩

Come in

快进来

Hi Sheldon.

你好谢尔顿

Hello. Sorry I'm late.

你好抱歉我迟到了

I also got you a balloon

我本来还给你带了一个气球

but it floated away and I chased it for a while.

可是它飞走了我追了好久

That's okay. Come on in.

没关系快进来吧

Thank you. Mm hmm.

谢谢你

Um I'll... I'm gonna go put these in water.

我拿个花瓶装上

Ooh this is different hmm

感觉很不一样嘛

Candles and music.

蜡烛和音乐

Do you like it

你喜欢吗

It's kind of spooky.

有点吓人

I can change it back.

我可以换回原样

No no no. It's your birthday.

不不这是你的生日

As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask I'll be fine.

只要面具杀人魔杰森别突然跳出来就好

So...

所以...

What'd you have in mind for tonight

你今晚想做什么

I thought I could take you out to a nice birthday dinner.

我本来想带你去吃一顿生日大餐

If we pick a place east of here we might find the balloon.

如果选个东边的餐厅说不定还能把气球找回来

Um that sounds nice but...

听起来不错可是...

I'm not really hungry right now.

我现在不是很饿

I thought maybe...

我想咱们不如...

we could do presents first.

先"上"礼物吧

All right.

好呀

I should probably tell you something about this gift.

关于这件礼物我有些事要先告诉你

You mean before you...

你是说在你...

give it to me

"给我"之前吗

Yes.

是的

May I ask you a question before I...

我可以先问一个问题吗在我...

give it to you

"给你"之前

Of course. Why are we saying

-当然 -为什么我们要把

"give it to you" like that

"给你"说得这么诡异

Sheldon

谢尔顿

I know your present is...

我知道你的礼物...

for us to be intimate tonight.

就是今夜与我共享鱼水之欢

I see.

我明白了

Is that all right

你愿意吗

I'm sorry but this is a litigious society.

抱歉如今这社会动不动就告上法庭

I'm gonna need verbal consent.

我需要你的口头同意

Yes.

求之不得

You know what let me pull a quick contract off the Internet.

我还是上网下载一个简易合同吧

So if you don't like Star Wars why are you here

如果你不喜欢《星球大战》那你干嘛还来呢

Oh I'm just having fun.

我只是图一乐

Everyone takes Star Wars so seriously.

每个人都对这电影这么认真看待

Like if the movie's bad it's gonna ruin their lives.

就好像电影拍砸了他们的人生也就毁了

Is it bad Did you hear something

电影拍砸了吗你听说了什么吗

Oh my God. It's bad. Somebody kill me.

亲娘耶拍砸了谁赶紧来杀了我吧

See That's what I mean.

看到没我就是指这种人

When you wake up in the morning whether this is

当你明早从晨光中醒来

the greatest movie ever or a total piece of crap

不管这电影是神作一部还是狗屎一坨

your life isn't gonna change at all.

你的生活都不会有任何改变

He's right.

他说得对

Yeah.

没错

No matter what happens

不管发生什么

we're coming back tomorrow to watch it again.

我们明天都会再来看一遍

Do you think Sheldon's actually gonna go through with it

你觉得谢尔顿真的会跟艾米滚成床单吗

I don't know.

我不知道

He said he's ready.

他说他已经准备好了

Yeah but he also swore this was the year

没错可是他还发誓说

he'd be able to pull the guts out of a pumpkin.

今年一定有勇气把南瓜内瓤掏出来呢

Well I'm gonna stay positive. I mean we talked.

我对谢尔顿有信心我们聊过了

I told him what women like and after he stopped giggling

我告诉他女生的喜好他咯咯傻笑了一阵后

he seemed pretty sure of himself.

看起来相当有自信

hi.

你好

Hello.

你好

So um...

那个...

should I get under the covers with you

我该跟你一起钻进被子里吗

All right.

好呀

Hello. Hi

-你好 -你好啊

Why are you shaking Are you cold

你怎么在发抖你很冷吗

I'm just um... really nervous.

我只是有点太紧张

Why

为什么

I've been waiting for this for so long

我等待这一刻等得太久了

I've just... built it up in my head.

我...脑补过太多

I don't know what to expect.

我不知道接下来该期待什么

Neither do I.

我也不知道

But... we can find out together.

但是...我们可以一起找出答案

Okay.

好的

I'm really nervous.

我真的好紧张

I know.

我知道

We've been waiting so long for this.

我们等待这一刻等得太久了

And we've built it up in our heads so much.

我们脑补过太多

Guys it's just a movie.

各位这只是部电影而已

That's true.

没错

He's right. It is.

-他说得对 -的确

Although we all remember Jar Jar.

不过我们都记得扎扎

受许多影迷讨厌的星战角色

Leonard I I'm scared again.

莱纳德我又开始提心吊胆了

几个小时后

Well I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.

我比预想中更享受

Me too.

奴家也是

I look forward to your next birthday

我很期待你下次过生日时

when we do it again.

我们再做一次

That works for me.

这样奴家也愿意

I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.

我比预想中更享受这电影呢

I don't think I can walk right now.

我爽得都走不动了

Uh Sheldon

谢尔顿

Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Arthur.

亚瑟

What are you doing here

你在这里干什么

I I don't think I need any more advice.

我不需要什么建议了

I I was just curious.

我只是好奇嘛

How How'd it go

那事儿最后怎么样了

It was amazing.

非常棒

I I saw it a few days later.

几天之后我去看了

What a movie.

电影超赞

But uh what what about Amy

那... 艾米呢

Uh uh she liked it fine.

她也挺喜欢的

But she doesn't have the history with the franchise I do.

不过她不像我对这个系列作有感情

Okay.

好吧

Good... good talk.

好吧聊得挺开心

就是图一乐

看剧其实就像本集里电影院中几个人说的那段一样

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