生活大爆炸-S07E08_生活大爆炸

S01

Hey can I ask you a question Sure.

-我能问你一个问题吗 -能啊

You've had this dart board since I've known you

我刚认识你们时这飞镖靶就在这了

but I've never seen you play.

但我从没见你们玩过啊

Oh uh we played... once.

我们玩过啊就一次

I broke a window.

我把窗户弄破了

What window That one over there.

-哪个窗户 -那边的那扇

Leonard where are the Skee Ball tickets

莱纳德游乐场点卷上哪去了

Skee Ball tickets

什么点卷

Yeah from when we went to the arcade three years ago

我们三年前去游乐场时拿到的点卷啊

I finally decided what prize I want.

我想好我要换什么奖品了

Hurry up.

快点啊

Uh if I still have them

如果我还有留着

they're probably in the junk box.

估计就放在这个垃圾收集盒里了

Ooh what are you gonna get

你准备换什么呢

None of your business.

不关你的事

But when you see me wearing a flower

但如果之后你看到我的西装上

in my lapel later

别了一朵花

you are most welcome to sniff it.

欢迎你来闻闻

Yup oh... here you go.

找到了给

Oh thank you.

谢啦

Here get yourself an eraser for your troubles.

去换个橡皮擦当你的辛苦费吧

I forgot about this.

我都忘了这东西

My aunt made it for me when I started college.

我要去上大学时阿姨做给我的

Aw did she hate you

她很讨厌你吗

Why Because I got an ugly itchy sweater

怎么会是因为我拿到又丑又痒的毛衣

and my brother got a car No I was her favorite.

而我哥拿到一台车吗她绝对"比较宠我"

Yeah I seem to be a few tickets short.

好像少了几张票

Are there more in the box

盒子里还有吗

Hmm I think I got them all.

应该都拿出来了吧

Nope they're not in there.

没里面没有了

Well you barely looked. Let me see.

你都没仔细找我来吧

No no no I I looked and...

不用不用我看过了

No more tickets.

里面没了

Leonard let me look in the box.

莱纳德让我看看

Okay okay

别别

I'm gonna show you what's in the box.

我可以让你看箱子里有什么

but just... promise not to flip out.

但你得答应你不能跳脚

Why would I flip out

我为什么会跳脚

Is it a spider

是里面有蜘蛛吗

It's a spider

有蜘蛛

No if it was a spider

不会是蜘蛛啦

Lenny would've flipped out.

有的话小莱莱早跳脚了

Okay Sheldon

谢尔顿

I know I was supposed to return this DVD a long time ago

我知道很久以前就该还这张DVD了

and I know we rented it on your card.

我也知道这是用你的卡去租的

But it's been like seven years

但这都过去七年了

and clearly nothing bad has happened.

也没有任何不良后果

So in in in instead of being

所以... 与其跟平常一样

a giant pain in the ass like you always are

使劲找我麻烦

what if this one time

何不就一次

you just tried staying calm

你试着保持冷静呢

That seems like a reasonable request.

你这要求听起来颇为合理

Although so did "Hey Leonard

但是我的要求也很合理莱纳德兄

would you mind returning that DVD "

能否劳烦你去还个DVD呢

I'm sorry. I'll Ill take care of it.

我错了我会去处理这事

Okay.

好的

I mean it I'm going to.

真心的我会去处理

I believe you.

我相信你啊

And you're going to stay calm

你也会不生气保持冷静吗

I said I would.

我说了我会

How about that

看到没

Sheldon's being reasonable.

谢尔顿居然讲理了

Yeah it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

对啊有点吓到我了我要走了

第七季第八集

生活大爆炸

So... when you say

所以当你说你

you're not going to freak out about the DVD

不会为DVD的事情气得跳脚时

here's what that means.

是指这些意思吧

Don't fixate on it.

你不会揪住这事不放

Don't wake me up in the middle of the night.

也不会半夜把我闹醒

Or nag me through the door

或我在上厕所时

while I'm on the toilet.

在门外烦我

Okay first talking to you while you're on the toilet

首先在你上厕所时跟你说话

isn't exactly a picnic for me either okay

对我来说也不是很愉快好吗

Remember...

别忘了

when you can hear me I can hear you.

你听得到我的声音我也听得到"你的"

And second...

第二

you completely disregard

你完全忽视了

how uncomfortable unresolved issues are for me.

悬而未决事情对我的闹心程度

It's it's like a...

那感觉就像...

an itch in my brain I can't scratch.

我脑子里有个挠不到的痒痒

When I broke my arm I used

我以前手臂打石膏时

to stick a coat hanger down there.

痒了我就拿衣架子伸进去挠

You ever try that Maybe go in through the ear

你试过吗试试从你耳朵伸进去挠[请勿模仿]

You wouldn't make jokes if you could feel the way I feel.

如果你能理解我你就不会还在开玩笑了

Well I don't know how to do that.

我不知道怎么理解你那感受啊

How about this

这样吧

I promise I won't pester you about the DVD.

我答应你不烦你这DVD的事

You can defecate in peace.

也还你清静的拉屎时光

That's a win for both of us. But...

这对我们也是双赢但是...

until this matter is resolved

在你处理完这事之前

I would like you

我要你

to wear this sweater.

穿着这件毛衣

With nothing underneath it.

而且底下不许穿任何衣服

That's stupid. Why

这蠢爆了为啥要我穿

You say it's itchy and uncomfortable.

你说这穿起来又痒又不舒服

I say situations like this make me feel the same way.

我对这事的感受也正是如此

I'm telling you try the hanger.

信我的试试用衣架子啊

Put it on.

穿上

Let's share the experience.

体验体验我的感受

You got it.

满足你

If this sweater shuts you up

如果穿上这毛衣就能让你闭嘴

I'm gonna make a fortune

那我以后光卖这个

selling them to everyone we know.

给我们认识的人就能发大财

Now...

现在

all I need to do is head down to the video store

我只需要走到录像带店

and return the DVD.

还了这DVD就行了

Oh did I forget to tell you

我忘了跟你说了吗

That store went out of business years ago.

那家店几年前就倒闭了

Really

是吗

How those nipples feeling chief

你的咪咪感觉如何啊猛将兄

Penny can we please get our drinks

佩妮能麻烦你把喝的给我们吗

Yeah hang on just give me sec.

行再等一下

At work today I did an in vivo stereotaxic surgery.

今天上班时我做了一起立体定向手术

Cool. At my lab

厉害啊今天在实验室

I performed ten laser capture micro dissections.

我做了十起激光捕获显微切割

I scraped gum off the bottom of that table.

我今天就把桌子下面的口香糖刮下来了

Only 'cause my manager saw me put it there.

因为我经理看见是我把它粘上去的

Oh my gosh.

天啊

That's the girl that broke Rajesh's heart.

那不是伤了拉杰什心的那个女孩吗

That's Lucy

她就是露西啊

I don't know why but I always pictured her as Indian.

不知道为什么我总是以为那个女是个印度人

I think that reason's called racism.

因为你有种族歧视

I'm gonna go talk to her.

我要过去跟她说话

Why What are you gonna say

为什么你要说什么

I'm not gonna say anything.

我什么都不会说

I just want to check her out.

我只是想探下她的口风

Because she hurt my friend.

因为她伤害了我的朋友

My Indian friend.

我的印度朋友

Who's racist now You.

-现在是谁种族歧视 -你啊

Because you just called him your "Indian friend."

因为你刚称拉杰是你的"印度朋友"

Yeah well you're short.

怎样你个矮冬瓜

We're never getting our drinks.

看来我们喝不上东西了

No but we knew that.

是啊但我们早就料到了

Hey can I start you off with something to drink

你想先来点喝的吗

Oh water would be great. Okay.

-来杯水吧 -好的

Um you're Lucy right

你是露西吧

I'm a friend of Raj Koothrappali's.

我是拉杰什·库萨帕里的朋友

Actually Amy recognized you.

其实先认出你的是艾米

How's he doing

他现在怎么样

Oh you know he's good.

还不错

Great.

很好

Yeah this is none of my business.

这虽然不关我的事

But why did you break up with him in an e mail

但你为什么要用一封电邮跟他分手

Oh I don't know.

我也不知道

I guess I thought it would be easier.

可能当时我觉得这样轻松点吧

Yeah I get that.

好吧我懂了

I'll go get you your water.

我去给你拿水

When you say "easier "

你刚说"轻松点"

you mean easier for you right

是指对你而言对吧

'Cause it certainly didn't make it easier for him.

因为这对他而言一点也不轻松

Any chance I can get a different waitress

我能换一个服务员吗

I I'm sorry this is rude of me.

很抱歉我失礼了

I will go get that water.

我现在就给你拿水

See see see see.

瞧瞧瞧瞧

Just now you expressed your feelings to my face.

刚才你就当着我的面表达了你的感受

How come you could do that with me but not Raj

为什么对我就可以对拉杰就不行呢

I don't know your e mail.

因为我不知道你的邮箱

You know what the worst part is

你知道最糟糕的是什么吗

You're sitting here perfectly happy

你坐在这里喜眉笑眼

and he's at home a blubbering mess.

而他却窝在家以泪洗面

Oh I thought you said he was okay.

你刚不是说他过得还不错吗

Well I also said I was getting you water

我还说给你端水过来呢

but look at me still standing here.

但我现在不还站在这教训你吗

You know I may be a bad waitress

或许我是个烂服务员

but you are a bad person.

但你是个烂人

Now you want to hear the specials

对了你想听听今晚的特餐吗

So you can never take it off

你永远都不能脱下来吗

No.

是的

Not even to sleep

连睡觉都不行吗

No.

是的

So you're just an idiot

所以你就是一白痴嘛

It's called proving a point.

我是为了证明我的观点

Is the point you're an idiot

你的观点就是你的白痴吗

Gentlemen please.

先生们别这样嘛

Leonard is trying to walk a mile in my metaphorical shoes.

莱纳德只是假设性穿着我的鞋换位思考而已

He can't walk in my actual shoes.

当然他不能真穿我的鞋子

He has the feet of a toddler.

因为他有双婴儿脚

So how are you gonna return the DVD

如果那家店已经关门了

if the store went out of business

你要怎么把DVD还给人家

Monday morning I'll go downtown

周一上午我会去市中心一趟

look up the owner's information.

查一下店主的资料

And send him the DVD.

然后把DVD寄回去给他

Pay the late fee.

再把滞纳金交了

And prove to Sheldon

同时向谢尔顿证明

that you can have a problem and solve it...

在遇到问题和解决问题的过程中

...without acting like a complete lunatic.

人不一定都要表现得像个十足的疯子

And the man impersonating a bear would like everyone to know

而那个假扮成熊的人会希望大家知道

其身上印有"Only you can prevent forest fires"字样

护林熊身穿美国护林警服装的漫画熊

that "Only you can prevent forest fires."

"只有你能防止森林火灾"

I don't get it.

我没明白笑点

You didn't have Smokey the Bear in India No.

-你们印度没有护林熊吗 -没有

护林熊阻止森林火灾和环境保护的象征

Oh is he anything like uh Mun Mun the Mongoose

是不是像我们的獴狐猴

He taught us not to play with cobras.

它教导我们不要跟眼镜蛇一起玩

You had to be taught not to play with cobras

没人教你们就会去跟眼镜蛇玩吗

You had to be taught not to burn down the forest

没人教你们就会去烧森林吗

Hey if you guys were hungry

你们要是肚子饿

why didn't you order something at the restaurant

为什么在餐厅时不点东西吃呢

We did you never brought it.

我们点了啊你没上菜而已

Oh that's right.

对哦

Nachos and a turkey club.

玉米片与火鸡三明治

Not even close.

完全不对

Well I was too busy standing up

那是因为我当时忙着在

for my friend to worry about your...

为我们的朋友挺身而出没空上...

I want to say salmon.

我想说是三文鱼吧

You want to say sorry.

你想说的应该是对不起

So how are you gonna tell Raj abut what you did

所以你打算怎么跟拉杰解释你的行为

What do you mean "how" What's the big deal

干嘛要想怎么解释没什么大不了的

You told Lucy he was a pathetic mess.

你告诉露西他以泪洗面

Then you made her cry and leave.

把人家都说到哭着跑了

Okay you guys are overreacting.

够了你们想得也太严重了

Raj is gonna appreciate how I had his back.

拉杰会感谢我为他挺身而出的

What is wrong with you Penny

你脑子进水了吗佩妮

You ruined any chance I had of getting back with Lucy

你毁了我与她重修旧好的可能性

Now she knows I'm a desperate mess

现在她知道我很悲催凄凉了

instead of just being pretty sure

她本来只能九成确定呢

It's Lucy.

是露西

She wants to meet for coffee.

她想邀我一起喝咖啡

I love you Penny

我爱你佩妮

Hey what're you working on

你在忙什么呢

I'm thinking about how one could use

我在思考能不能借助

the fact that a rapidly rotating mirror

快速旋转镜把虚光子

turns virtual photons into real ones

转化为光子的方法

as a method of observing dark energy.

来解决吸收暗能量的问题

That's a pretty cool idea.

这主意挺有意思

Yeah. It's great you're here.

是的你来得正好

I'd love to get an engineer's opinion.

我非常想听听工程师的意见

Sure.

没问题

This chair is squeaky.

我这椅子老吱吱响

Now do I fix it or get a new one

你说我是送修还是买把新的

Well Sheldon it took me all morning

谢尔顿我花了一早上的时间

but I found the owner of the video store.

终于找到了那家录像店的店主

And I am happy to report that he died peacefully in his sleep

我很高兴地宣布他是在睡梦中平静地死去

drunk at the bottom of a pool.

也就是喝醉后淹死在泳池底了

Anyway there is no one to return the DVD to

总之这DVD没有地方还

so this issue is resolved.

问题圆满解决了

And I'd just like to point out that

我要特别说明一点

even though the sweater was uncomfortable

虽然这毛衣让人好不舒服

I didn't use it as an excuse

我也没有以此为借口

to antagonize everyone around me.

到处顶撞周围的人

You know you could reimburse the video store owner's next of kin.

你可以把它还给录像店老板的亲戚嘛

Or it's resolved

都说问题已经解决了

Hey that next of kin thing sounds pretty good.

还给亲戚这主意听上去不错

I believe this is yours.

这是你掉的吧

Can I ask you guys a question

能问你们个问题吗

So I'm seeing Lucy tomorrow night

我明晚就要去见露西了

and I've never hung out with someone who broke up with me.

我从来没和甩掉我的人出去玩过

How do you do it

我该怎么做呢

You can't let her know you're hurting.

你不能让她发现你很受伤

You know the key is confidence.

关键是要充满自信

Why is the key always confidence

为什么每件事的关键都是充满自信

How come it's never love handles and flop sweat

怎么就不能是腰间赘肉啦焦虑不安啦

If this girl hurt you so much

如果这姑娘伤你这么深

are you sure you want to see her again

你真的还想和她见面吗

Well if I may...

容我说明一下

he has so little self respect

他这人自尊心几乎为零

and is so desperate for the smallest crumb of affection

又极度渴望哪怕是微乎其微的爱情

she could literally sleep with his own father

所以她就算在拉杰的床上

in his own bed and post the video to YouTube

睡了他爹还把视频发到网上

and he'd still buy her flowers

拉杰还是会送花给她

and ask her to be his bride.

并向她求婚

He's right.

他说得没错

But in my defense if we could survive that

但我的理由是如果能通过这个考验

we could survive anything.

世上还有什么能把我俩分开呢

Well if you're sure you want to do this

既然你真的愿意这么做

it's only coffee...

反正也只是喝个咖啡而已

just relax and see what happens.

你就放松心态静观其变吧

Well can I say she looks nice Sure.

-那我能夸她气色不错吗 -当然

Can I tell her I miss her

能说我好想她吗

Maybe if she asks.

如果她问起的话也许吧

Oh can I show her an oil painting I made

能给她看看我手绘的一幅

of us surrounded by our children and grandchildren

我和她被儿孙们环绕的油画吗

I'd save that for the second date.

这还是留着第二次见面时再说吧

Good good.

也好也好

'Cause no matter how hard I try

反正不管我怎么努力

I cannot get the twins to look alike.

都没法把那对双胞胎画得一模一样

What are you doing

你在干什么

Oh I'm just trying to find the stupid next of kin

我在寻找那个傻逼店主的

to this stupid video store owner so I can return the DVD

傻逼亲戚好把DVD还给他们

and see the look on Sheldon's stupid face

好欣赏谢尔顿看到这事没烦到我时

when he sees that I didn't let this get to me.

他脸上的傻逼表情

Sheldon's not here.

谢尔顿又不在

Why don't you take the sweater off

干嘛不把毛衣脱下来

Th Th There's a principle at stake

这牵涉到原则问题

Which is Oh I don't know.

-什么原则 -我也不知道

Who cares Look at me

谁管它呀看我这一身

Oh my God

我的天

Is that sweater made of bees

这毛衣是用蜜蜂织的吗

Come on take it off. I won't tell.

快脱下来吧我不会告诉他的

No no honey if I take it off Sheldon wins.

不行如果我脱下来的话谢尔顿就赢了

Sweetie...

亲爱的

every night you don't kill him in his sleep

每天夜里你没有把他谋杀在睡梦之中时

he wins.

他就已经赢了

Nah I it's... it's almost done.

算了...我就快成功了

I just I have to find...the next of kin

我只需要找到他的亲戚

and send 'em the DVD

把DVD寄给他们

and then just wait for someone with my complexion to die

然后坐等和我肤色相同的人死掉

so I can get a skin graft.

我就可以植皮了

Smile.

笑一个

What what is that What is that for

你这是干嘛拍照干嘛

So you can send it to Princeton

你可以把它发给普林斯顿大学

and get your money back.

把你白交的学费要回来

I must say Sheldon

不得不说谢尔顿

you're handling this DVD business

这DVD的事你处理得

with an impressive amount of maturity.

相当成熟令我刮目相看

I don't know why that surprises you.

这有什么可感叹的

I'm a grown man.

我本来就是个成熟的人

As should be evident by this sport coat

我的运动夹克

and very real flower in my lapel.

和这朵逼真的胸花也证实了这一点

Is there some kind of new coping mechanism you're employing

你是不是实践了某种新的应对机制呀

The more interesting question you should be asking is

你应该问点更有趣的问题

"What does this flower smell like "

比如"这朵花闻起来是什么香味呢"

I'm gonna go with sad.

我看是"可悲味"吧

So what's the story with you and this DVD

所以那DVD背后有什么内幕吗

There's nothing to tell.

哪有什么内幕

Maybe I purchased a book entitled

也许是因为我买了一本书

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

叫做《别为小事担忧》

and I followed its wise suggestions

我听从了里面的睿智建议

one of which was

其中一条是

stop and smell the flowers.

驻足片刻闻花香[别说了快闻花吧]

Seriously Please.

-你不是吧 -求你啦

Hi. Hello.

-你好 -来啦

Oh it's so good to see you.

见到你我真高兴

You too.

我也是

Please sit.

请坐

I uh I got you a cappuccino.

我帮你点了卡布奇诺

I remembered it was your favorite.

我记得这是你最喜欢的

I also got crumb cake

我还点了屑饼蛋糕

but I remembered it was my favorite and I ate it.

但我想起来这是我最喜欢的我就吃了

Anyway uh how are you

总之你还好吗

I'm pretty good.

挺好的

Listen I just wanted to apologize

听我说我想跟你道歉

for breaking up with you in an e mail.

我不该用一封电邮和你分手

Well and I ate all the crumb cake.

我也吃光了屑饼蛋糕

we both made mistakes.

人都会犯错的嘛

Okay.

好的

I'm so happy you asked me here

你约我出来我真是太高兴了

and I hope we can hang out again sometime.

希望我们改天还能再聚

You know as friends

不论是朋友关系

lovemaking partners whatever.

还是炮友关系都行

I'm kind of seeing someone.

其实我有对象了

I think I know the answer to this

我想我知道怎么回答

but just to be clear it's not me right

但还是要搞清楚你说的不是我对吗

This is all your fault

这全是你的错

I should've listened to Mun Mun

我应该听獴狐猴的话

because I've been playing with a cobra

因为我一直在和

and her name is Penny

叫做佩妮的眼镜蛇玩

Why are you so cruel

你为什么这么残忍

Do you enjoy my pain

看着我痛苦你很享受吗

There's a girl at the Cheesecake Factory I can set you up with.

芝士蛋糕工厂有个女生我可以帮你介绍

I love you Penny

我爱你佩妮

How is it I can conceptualize a methodology

为什么我能将检测宇宙暗物质的

of examining dark matter in the universe

方法概念化

but can't figure out how to fix a novelty squirt flower

却想不出办法修好整蛊喷水花呢

I think the real question is

我想真正的问题在于

why do you waste your time with cheap childish pranks

你为什么要将时间浪费在廉价幼稚的恶作剧上

There's probably a deep reason.

可能有深层的原因

Which I'd be happy to discuss with you

我很乐意和你一边吃点罐子里的花生糖

over some peanut brittle in a can.

一边讨论这个问题

Okay Sheldon I am out of options

谢尔顿我已经没办法了

Video store owner Nursis Manookian

录像带店的老板勒西斯·曼鲁奇恩

has no next of kin

根本就没有直系亲属

Well you seem hot under the collar...

你看起来怒气冲冲的

or is that the sweater

是毛衣闹的吗

Oh oh no no.

不不

I It's because I spent all afternoon

是因为我花了一下午时间

at the Armenian church where his funeral mass was held.

去举行他葬礼的亚美尼亚教堂调查

According to Father Solakian

据索拉奇恩神父所说

no one attended.

没人参加葬礼

Luckily my trip wasn't a complete waste.

幸运的是我跑这趟并不是完全浪费时间

I lit a candle and prayed for your death.

我点了根蜡烛祈祷你快死

But I'm not Armenian so it probably won't work

但我不是亚美尼亚人所以可能不管用

This is over right

这事结束了对吧

Oh not necessarily.

不一定

I suggest you look for long lost relatives

我建议你去亚美尼亚或是黎巴嫩

either in Armenia or Lebanon.

找找有没有失联已久的亲戚

Listen to me Sheldon.

听好了谢尔顿

I am not going to Lebanon

我不会去黎巴嫩

to return Super Mario Bros. the movie

还《超级马里奥兄弟》的影碟

You know it might be fun.

也许很好玩呢

You love hummus.

反正你爱吃鹰嘴豆泥[黎巴嫩特色食品]

Why isn't this bothering you

为什么你好像不在意这事呢

I Isn't your brain getting itchy

你的脑袋里面不痒吗

This is on your card.

这是你的卡借的

This could be ruining your credit score

有可能会毁了你的信用记录

Why isn't this making you crazy

为什么这事没让你发疯呢

Leonard...

莱纳德

I have something to tell you

我有话跟你说

but I want you to promise not to flip out.

但我要你保证不许跳脚

What

什么事

Seven years ago

七年前

I found out the DVD was late

我发现DVD过期未还

and I paid for it.

已经付了钱了

What

什么

I was going to mention it at the time

我当时准备跟你说的

but then I thought some day

但我想有一天

this might be a teachable moment.

这件事能给你好好上一课

I... You...

我...你...

How can...

怎么这样

What

你是不是人啊

Sheldon...

谢尔顿

that was diabolical.

你这样做太恶毒了

I know.

我知道

And it wasn't easy.

其实我也不容易

Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for years

你明白等待多年却不知道

and never know if you're going to finally get satisfaction

能否得到最终的"满足" 有多痛苦吗

You're even prettier than Penny said.

你比佩妮形容的还要漂亮

I can't believe a girl like you

我不敢相信你这样的女生

doesn't have a boyfriend.

居然没有男友

Well I don't.

我没有

I don't believe you you're lying to me

我不相信你你在骗我

What

什么

Oh it's okay.

没关系

I have no morals and I'm desperately lonely.

我没道德底线我寂寞到绝望的程度

I'll be the other man

我不介意做小三

if you want a little something something on the side.

你要一枝红杏出墙来我会依着墙角站

What is wrong with you

你脑子进水了吗

What is wrong with you

你脑子进水了吗

What is wrong with you

你脑子进水了吗

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