生活大爆炸-S12E09_生活大爆炸

S01

Sheldon do you want to put the tables after each section

谢尔顿你想把附录放在每节后

or in an appendix at the end

还是放在结尾的总附录

You know what We wrote this paper together.

这样吧论文是我们一起写的

I think we should decide together

我们应该一起决定

that they go in an appendix at the end.

放在结尾的总附录里

How about that There is an "I" in "team."

没想到吧 "团队"里真的有"我"这个字

其实团队的单词"team"里没有字母"i"

Look at what we made. ‭ I know.

-看我们的成就 -我知道

It really is the best of both of us.

它集合了我们的精华

It's got my math and your sassy takedown

既有我的数学能力

of the fundamental nature of symmetry.

又有你对对称性本质的华丽拆解

It's got my bottomless intellectual curiosity

有我深不可测的求知欲

and your petulant refusal

亦有你任性的坚持

to spell "Gray" with an "a" like an American.

拒绝像美国大众一样将灰拼写为"gray"

英国人多拼写成"grey"

You realize we still have a lot of work to do

你知道我们还要做很多工作

before we can publish.

才能发表吧

Perhaps we should divide and conquer.

也许我们应该各个击破

Now you track down all the citations

你查询检查所有的引文

and properly note them in our bibliography

在参考文献中正确地列出他们

and I will roll up my sleeves

我会卷起袖子

and decide what font we want to use.

决定我们使用哪种字体

Sheldon there are hundreds of citations to track down.

谢尔顿有数百条引文要查询

And thousands of fonts but you don't hear me complaining.

字体有上千种但我可没抱怨

I am not gonna spend weeks

我才不要在图书馆

in a library looking up old papers.

花上数周时间检查旧资料

Can't we hire a grad student to do it

不能雇一个研究生做吗

Yeah a grad student

研究生

I am not trusting our unpublished paper

我才不放心把我们未发表的论文

to some millennial.

交给什么千禧一代

They'll put unicorn emojis on it

他们会加上独角兽的表情符号

and then post it on social media.

发到社交媒体上

Why would they do that

他们为什么那样做

Economic anxiety too much avocado toast who cares

经济焦虑吃太多牛油果吐司谁在乎

Look the point is we can't afford to have this paper leaked

重点是我们不能冒险在发表前

before we're ready to publish.

泄露论文

That's how you kiss the Nobel Prize good bye

那样你可就跟诺贝尔奖吻别了

instead of hello as I intend to do.

而我预想的是与它见面并狂吻一番

I assume you mean metaphorically.

你应该是比喻吧

Absolutely not. If the King of Sweden hands me a medal

当然不是如果瑞典国王给我发奖章

I intend to smear it with Purell and then kiss it.

我打算抹上免洗洗手液后好好亲亲

But what if we ask one of our friends to help us out

如果我们请一位朋友帮忙呢

How about Leonard

莱纳德怎么样

Gee I don't know. Can we trust him

我不知道能相信他吗

He's your best friend in the whole world.

他是你在这世上最好的朋友

Yes but he's always struck me

但他总是给我一种感觉

as the guy in the plane crash

就是飞机失事后

who doesn't wait until you're all the way dead to eat you.

他不会等你全部死透就把你给吃了

I think you can trust him.

我想你可以相信他

Oh Amy you never lose that childlike innocence.

艾米你永远不要失去你的烂漫童心

Leonard I need to tell you something.

莱纳德我有事要跟你说

I'm having an affair.

我出轨了

Okay.

好的

You have to swear not to tell anybody.

你必须发誓不告诉任何人

Okay.

好的

You are the only one who knows.

只有你知道

Uh well you and Rita the cafeteria lady

除了你当然还有餐厅派餐员丽塔知道

who has been giving me more than Tater Tots.

她给我的可不止炸薯块那么简单

Hey Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Not a word.

一个字也不准说

What did he want

他想干嘛

Oh nothing. He just concocted some stupid test

没什么他只是捏造了愚蠢的测试

to see if I can keep a secret.

看我能否保守秘密

Ooh what's the secret

什么秘密

I'm not gonna tell you that.

我才不会告诉你

The test is stupid but I still want to pass.

虽说测试愚蠢但我也想通过

Congratulations Leonard you passed my secret loyalty test.

恭喜你莱纳德你通过了我的秘密忠心测试

The truth is I was never having an affair

事实是我从没和餐厅派餐阿姨

with the cafeteria lady.

发生婚外情

There's only one woman who gets to touch my no no parts

只有一个女人可以触碰我"不可以碰"之处

and she's right here.

就是她

Sheldon. ‭No no.

-谢尔顿 -不行

Well I am shocked Sheldon

我太惊讶了谢尔顿

because I totally believed that the woman you reported

因为我完全"相信"你所说的

for being stingy with the peas couldn't keep her hands off you.

给豆子都小气的女人会对你上下其手

Well I am a little hurt that you weren't gonna tell me

我有点受伤你没有告诉我

my husband was having an affair. I thought we were friends.

我丈夫出轨了我还以为我们是朋友

I didn't really believe him.

我并没有真正相信他

Why not You don't think other women find him attractive

为什么你不认为会有其他女人觉得他有吸引力

No.

不会有的

I suppose you're wondering why I put you through all this.

我想你好奇我为什么让你经历这些

You mean the last two minutes or the last 20 years

你是说刚才两分钟还是过去二十年

We need to ask you a big favor.

我们想请你帮个大忙

Well you've certainly gone about it the right way.

你们请人帮忙的方式太正确了

You know we're almost finished with our paper

你知道我们快写完论文了

we just need help tracking down the citations.

只是需要帮忙检查引文

That's busywork. Can't you just get a grad student to do it

这是机械工作你不能请个研究生做吗

No this paper is incredibly important to us

不行这份论文对我们来说太重要了

and we need someone we can trust.

我们需要一位我们能信任的人

Please it would mean a lot.

求你了对我们来说意义重大

Y You know what Sure.

知道吗好吧

The three of us in the library looking up old papers

我们三个在图书馆查找旧资料

that actually could be kind of fun.

应该挺有趣

Oh no we won't be there.

不我们不会去

It just got more fun.

更有趣了

Bam took him out.

干掉他了

Now I'm doing a victory dance to celebrate.

现在我在跳胜利的庆祝之舞

Where are you

你在哪里

About to shoot some dancing jackass.

准备射击某个跳舞的傻蛋

Hey

喂

And now I'm doing a victory dance.

现在我在跳胜利之舞

What you playing

你们在玩什么

Fortnite.

堡垒之夜

A bunch of people parachute onto an island

一帮人空投在某个岛上

and fight it out to be the last man standing.

奋力厮杀想成为最后活下来的人

Like Hunger Games

像《饥饿游戏》那样的吗

More like Bachelor in Paradise

更像是相亲节目《单身天堂》

but not as cutthroat.

但竞争没那么残酷

Sounds fun. Can I play

听起来很好玩我可以玩吗

I don't know if you'd like it. It's kind of for gamers.

我不知道你是否会喜欢这是硬核玩家的游戏

Hey I'm a gamer. I play Candy Crush Bejeweled

我也是硬核玩家我玩《糖果大爆险》《宝石迷阵》

and Sesame Street Letter School

《芝麻街信学校》

which I beat our daughter at every single time.

每次我都能赢我们女儿

All right give it a shot.

好吧试试

This one's how you move this is how you shoot.

这是移动这是射击

"A" Jumps "B" Puts you into build mode.

A是跳跃 B是建造模式

And depending on what you want to build

根据建造的东西不同

you can use LB RB LT or RT.

你可以使用LB RB LT RT

Just put me in I'll figure it out.

让我进去我能自己试出来

Oh sounds like me on our honeymoon.

我在蜜月时就是这样说的

Okay you're skydiving down.

好的你准备跳伞降落

You're almost to the ground.

快到地面了

Now when you land you're gonna want...

你降落时最好...

Okay you're dead.

你死了

Wait that's it That wasn't fun at all.

慢着这就结束了吗一点也不好玩

Oh now it sounds like you on our honeymoon.

我们在蜜月时你也这么说的

Thanks for helping with this.

多谢你帮忙

What are friends for

朋友不就是做这些的吗

My friend sent me down to this basement to do his grunt work

我的朋友派我来这个地下室替他做枯燥的工作

so I wouldn't know.

所以我不知道

Hey probably shouldn't say anything

可能不应该说

but did you hear about Sheldon and the lunch lady

但你听说了谢尔顿和餐厅阿姨的事吗

Yeah uh that's not true.

那不是真的

That's just something Sheldon made up to test us.

那是谢尔顿编造考验我们的

I wish I'd known that before I called her a floozy

我要是早知道就不会在午餐长队前

in front of the whole lunch line.

说她是荡妇啦

This is a list of the papers we need to pull.

这就是我们要找的论文名单

Why don't we split up You take half I take half.

我们分头找吧你负责一半我负责一半

I don't know it's pretty creepy down here.

可是这下面有点可怕

Maybe we should stay together.

我们还是待在一起吧

Come on Raj it's just a library.

拜托拉杰不过是个图书馆而已

You could say that about anything.

很多场景都可以用这句话

It's just a cemetery. It's just a haunted house.

不过是个坟场而已不过是个鬼屋而已

It's just a portal to hell.

不过是地狱入口而已

F Fine how about we split up

好吧那我们分开找

but we stay in constant communication with each other

但时不时互相招呼一声可以吗

Yeah thank you.

好吧谢啦

Leonard

莱纳德

Still here. ‭Okay.

-还在呢 -好

Leonard ‭Still here.

-莱纳德 -还在呢

Okay.

好

Leonard

莱纳德

Leonard

莱纳德

Oh God

我的妈呀

Too much dust.

太多灰尘了

Hey ready for lunch

可以去吃午饭了吗

Hang on.

等一下

Really video games

不是吧在玩电脑游戏啊

Is this some sort of Freaky Friday thing

你们难道是灵魂互换了吗

where you're actually Howard

你其实是妮妮身华仔魂

Please if I were Howard I'd be doing this.

拜托如果我是霍华德我肯定在做这个

You know what He's not wrong.

知道吗他这么做可没错

All right great can we go

好了那我们能走了吗

In a minute. I want to show Howard I can play this game.

等一会我想让霍华德知道我也能玩这个游戏

You know you make a lot more money than he does.

你明明赚得比他多

Can't you just rub his nose in that

拿这件事去炫耀不就够了吗

I can but I want to rub his nose in this.

可以但我更想在他面前炫耀这个

Ugh damn it why can't I hit anybody

靠我怎么一个人都打不中

Here let me try.

让我试试

Lots of luck it's way harder than it looks.

祝你好运这个玩起来比看起来难

‭Got him.

打死了

Okay this citation is correct. How you doing

好这个引用是正确的你还好吧

Pretty good. I'm just looking through

很好我正在看

"The Effect of High Energy Muons on Proton Pion Scattering

"高能介子对国家加速器实验室

at the National Accelerator..."

质子介子散射的

...Laboratory."

影响"

Hey should we take a break

我们要不休息一下吧

No this actually makes it more exciting.

不用其实这样让这活儿更有意思了

We have to get through all of this before I run out of this.

我们必须在我的药用完之前看完

It's like the movie Speed but instead of a bus

就像是电影《生死时速》不过死的不是公交车

it's your lungs.

而是你的肺

And instead of Sandra Bullock it has sadness.

车上坐的不是知名女星而是淡淡的悲伤

Why did you pull this Russian paper

你干嘛找一篇俄国文献

Oh it was cited in this paper over here

它被这篇论文引用了

so I thought we should check it out.

所以我想还是查查看吧

Mm it's not translated.

这论文没翻译呀

Maybe we should talk to Howard his Russian's pretty good.

也许我们应该问问霍华德他的俄语挺溜的

We don't need Howard. I've got Google Translate.

我们才不需要霍华德我有谷歌翻译

Okay here we go

好了

from Russian to English.

从俄文翻译至英文

"Examinations of moose chowder in lemon parachutes."

"用柠檬降落伞检查驼鹿杂烩汤"

Yeah okay now I know why this app is free.

好现在我知道为啥这应用免费了

Oh gosh my Russian's a little rusty.

天我的俄语也有点不利索了

If it helps this word may be "moose."

提示一下这个词可能是指驯鹿

Okay.

好了

This paper is called

这篇论文的题目是

"Examinations of a Super Asymmetric Model of the Universe"

"宇宙超不对称模型的检验"

by Dr. Vasily Gregora Poli Popivich.

作者是瓦西里·格瑞格拉·波利·波维奇

W Wait so Amy and Sheldon

等等所以艾米和谢尔顿

weren't the first to think of super asymmetry

不是第一个想出超不对称的人

No doesn't look like it. This is from 1978.

不应该不是这是1978年写的

Okay well they might need to rename their theory

那他们可能要把理论改名成

"The Cooper Fowler Gregora Poli Popivich Theory."

"库珀·福勒·格瑞格拉·波利·波维奇理论"了

Kind of rolls right off your tongue doesn't it

还有点朗朗上口呢对吧

Sheldon is not gonna be happy about this.

谢尔顿不会开心的

Well he's gonna be less happy about this uh...

接下来的内容会更让他难过

"The super asymmetric model is inherently flawed

"超不对称模型存在先天缺陷

and does not bear the weight of further examination." Hmm.

无法进行更深入的研究"

So this disproves their theory

这不就是否定了他们的理论吗

Sounds like it.

听起来是的

Oh how are we gonna tell him

我们该怎么告诉他呢

That's easy. Just go up to him and say "Sheldon

简单走到他面前说 "谢尔顿

Raj has something to tell you."

拉杰有话对你说"

Why do I have to tell him

凭什么是我告诉他

You did find it.

是你找到的呀

I fou but he's the one who translated it.

我找可是他翻译出来的

Okay okay h how about this We all tell him.

好啦这样吧我们一起告诉他

Or even better you tell him.

还有更好的选择你一个人告诉他

Yeah that makes the most sense.

没错这方法最有道理

You guys are such cowards.

你们就是孬种兄弟

Yes we are.

是的我们就是

Hey Denise. Is Stuart here

德妮丝霍华德在吗

Oh no. Doctor's appointment.

不在看医生去了

Oh is he okay

他没事吧

Not since I've known him.

从我认识他起就没好过

Which brings up an interesting question.

这就引出一个有趣的问题了

You and Stuart. Why

你和斯图尔特何苦呢

I don't know. My parents owned a funeral home.

我也不知道我父母开了一家殡仪馆

Read into that what you will.

剩下的你慢慢联想吧

What can I help you with

我能帮你做什么吗

I was hoping Stuart could show me how to play Fortnite.

我是来找斯图尔特教我打《堡垒之夜》的

Mm I can teach you. Really you good

-我可以教你呀 -真的吗你玩得好嘛

Look at my skin. I haven't been outside in six years.

看看我苍白的皮肤我都六年没出门玩过了

So you'll coach me

你会指导我吗

Sure. Now let me ask you a question.

当然让我问你一个问题

Howard. Why

霍华德何苦呢

You got eyes what do you think

你有眼睛嘛自己想呗

Wow I really wish I didn't see this.

我真希望自己没看到这一幕

Oh hey.

你回来啦

I just need to give Sheldon some bad news

我有些坏消息要告诉谢尔顿

and I really don't want to.

我真心不想去

Oh my God. Is everything okay No I I found a paper

-我的天没事吧 -我找到一篇论文

that proves their theory wrong.

证明他们的理论是错误的

They thought this was gonna be their Nobel Prize.

他们原本还想借此拿诺贝尔奖呢

It's gonna break his heart.

他肯定会伤心欲绝

Oh man. Maybe leave an anonymous note you know

你不如留个匿名条吧

like in high school when you want to let your best friend know

就像高中时你想告诉你的好朋友

that her boyfriend's cheating on her.

她男友出轨了那样

Why wouldn't you just tell her that

你为什么不直接告诉她

I don't know. Maybe you had a hickey.

也许是因为脖子上还留着他的吻痕

I Isn't it better to get bad news from a friend

由朋友告诉你坏消息不会好受点吗

Trust me it's not.

相信我不会的

I went to prom with a hickey and a black eye.

我可是带着吻痕和乌眼圈去参加毕业舞会的

Come on knock on the door. You can do this.

快去敲门吧你没问题的

All right a all right here I go.

好吧好吧我去了

Oh wait just let me get inside.

等等我先进屋再说

Why

为什么

"Why" Come on.

"为什么" 还用问吗

Oh hey Leonard.

嘿莱纳德

Is the podcast too loud

这播客是不是太吵了

I didn't hear a podcast.

我没听到播客呀

I told you no one could hear it.

我说了没人能听见

Well I heard Ira Glass so he's either in your earbuds

我听到了主播的声音要么他在你耳机里

or clinging to the ceiling like a gecko.

要么他像壁虎一般趴在我的天花板上

Actually I I need to talk to both of you about your paper.

事实上我要跟你俩说说你们论文的事

Oh right how are the citations coming

引文查得怎么样了

Well Raj and I were chasing them down

我和拉杰按你说的

like you asked us to and um

去核查引文了

we came a across a a Russian paper

我们发现了一篇苏联论文

that seems to disprove super asymmetry.

似乎能驳倒超对称性

Are you sure

你确定吗

Yeah uh Howard translated it.

嗯霍华德翻译出来了

I'm so sorry.

我很遗憾

Sheldon are you are you all right

谢尔顿你没事吧

Oh yes of course.

当然没事啦

Thank you for telling us Leonard.

谢谢你告诉我们莱纳德

I'm sure that wasn't easy.

你一定很难开口

I guess we don't need this anymore.

看来我们不需要这个了

So what are you listening to This American Life

你在听什么播客 "美国生活"吗

Okay so walk up to that chest and push X.

走到那个箱子跟前按X键

X. Push X.

X键按X键

Which one's X

哪个是X键

The one with the X on it.

上面写着X的那个啊

Take it easy I'm new at this.

别紧张我刚开始学嘛

What the alphabet

学什么字母表吗

You don't have to be snarky.

你不用那么恶毒吧

Hey do you want to play the game

你想玩好这个游戏

or do you want to crawl back up

还是想爬回你妈的上衣里

your mommy's shirt and chow down like a baby

像婴儿一样大口吸奶

Damn what is wrong with you

靠你怎么回事啊

I'm sorry I thought you wanted to beat your husband.

抱歉我以为你想打赢你老公

I do. ‭ Well then suck it up

-我是想啊 -那就别逼逼了

Okay

知道啦

Hi.

你好

Can I do anything

有什么我能做的吗

No.

没有

I can make you some tea I I could sing "Soft Kitty."

我可以给你泡杯茶或者唱《软猫猫》

I don't understand how you're not more upset by this.

我不明白你怎么还能如此冷静

This is your paper too.

这也是你的论文

I am upset Sheldon.

我也很难过啊谢尔顿

I'm just trying to hold it together for you.

我只是在为你冷静不崩溃

Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.

就像那次吃早午餐时有只鹅疯狂骚扰我们一样

That thing scared you too

那畜牲也吓到你了吗

Well of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

当然了我当时可是穿着羽绒外套

Well I don't need you to pretend to be okay for me.

我不需要你为了我故作坚强

If anything that makes it worse.

恰恰相反你这样做我更不好受

Fine. I'm not okay.

好吧我很不好

We came up with this idea at our wedding.

这理论是在我们的婚礼上想到的

We poured months of our lives into it.

我们为此投入了好几个月的心血

I thought we were changing the course of science

我本以为我们会改变科学的进程

and now it's all gone. I'm devastated.

现在什么都没了我心碎欲绝

I was wrong that makes it worse.

我错了你这样我心情更差

Go back to being happy.

你还是变回开心的样子吧

Hey guys.

你们好呀

You uh playing that what's it called again

你们在玩那个游戏吗叫什么来着

Fortnow

《堡垒之爷》吗

Fortnite. ‭Right.

-是《堡垒之夜》 -对哦

I guess I forgot 'cause I only played it that one time

我记不清了毕竟我只玩过一次

and I was so bad at it.

还玩得特别渣

Don't beat yourself up. It's a hard game.

别责怪自己这游戏很难

Would you mind if I gave it another shot

我能再玩一次试试吗

Mm maybe later Berna...

过会行吗伯纳...

Give me.

快给老娘

Where are you Howard where are you

你在哪呢霍华德你在哪

Let me just build a little ramp get some height.

我先建个坡道取得一点高度

You want to press B to go into build oh you already did it.

建坡道要按B键你已经建好了

Did I I'm just hitting buttons.

是吗我只是随便乱按而已

Wee

赞哦

I see your ramp. I'm coming for you.

我看到你的坡道了我要来打你啦

You can try but...

有本事你就试试但是...

Gotcha.

你死了

Son of a bitch.

狗逼

Want to play again

想再玩一次吗

不要

Howard. What

-霍华德 -干嘛

I make more money than you.

老娘赚的钱比你多

You got yourself a good one there buddy.

你找了个好老婆兄弟

So neither of them showed up for work today

他们俩今天都没去上班吗

No I tried calling and no one picked up.

没我打给他们也没人接

Look I'm sure they're fine.

他们一定没事的啦

They were probably up all night coming up with a new theory.

估计昨晚没睡觉在想新理论吧

I I also texted to see if he wanted to go to the new

我还发短信问他要不要去看

Fantastic Beasts movie and he didn't respond.

新一集《神奇动物在哪里》他也没回

All right well they're already dead. There's nothing we can do.

好吧他们已经死翘翘了我们也无能为力

Come in.

进来

You guys look all comfy. Did did you take the day off

你们挺放松自在啊今天请假休息吗

It's Saturday.

今天是星期六

No it's not.

并不是周六

Great another thing we're wrong about.

真"棒" 我们又弄错一件事

How many does that make Amy

我们总共弄错几件事了艾米

Two.

两件

Two things.

整整两件事

What happened to us

我们这是怎么了

I'll tell you what happened.

我告诉你是谁造的孽

Professor Gregoropovich.

格雷咕噜维奇教授

I I think it's Gregora Poli Popivich but...

我想是格瑞格拉·波利·波维奇不过...

Three.

三件

Look you guys you had a you had a setback you know

听着你们不过是遇到了一次挫折

This is the time you got to dig in and and try harder.

现在是你们一鼓作气加倍努力的时候

It's like halftime and you're down by seven.

就像橄榄球中场时你们稍微落后

What are you doing

你在干嘛

All right it's it's like

好吧就好像

Bat halftime and you're down by Bat seven.

蝙蝠侠中场时你们蝙蝠落后

Let me try.

我来试试吧

You you guys can't just give up.

你们不能就这样放弃

Uh individually you are the smartest people I know.

你俩都是我认识的最聪明的人

Together you can do anything.

只要你们强强联手便无所不能

I appreciate what you're trying to do but please stop.

很感谢你所做的努力但请你别再说了

You can't make this better.

你无法让我们好过些

All right Amy listen... I'm with Sheldon.

-好吧艾米听我说... -我同意谢尔顿

We worked our butts off on this paper

我们为这篇论文拼尽心力

and it was all for nothing.

到头来都是白费功夫

And if you think some pep talk can fix that

如果你们觉得说几句鼓励的话我们就会好

then you don't understand how much this meant to us.

那你们就低估了这事对我们的意义

Is there anything we can do

我们能做点什么吗

No.

没有

Yeah wait.

有等等

Do I smell Siam Palace

我是不是闻到暹罗宫餐厅的味道

Oh yeah it's our dinner.

没错是我们的晚饭

I mean it's your dinner.

我是说你们的晚饭

Any mango sticky rice

有芒果糯米饭吗

No. And the blows keep coming.

-没有 -打击真是一重接一重啊

I see you. I see you

看到你了看到你了

And boom Got you

炸你死了

How's it feel Penny

感觉如何佩妮

Like I don't care at all.

我内心毫无波澜

Wrong. It feels bad.

回答错误你感觉很糟

Because you lost I won.

因为你输了老娘赢了

What a rush

真爽

All right. Can we go eat now Hell yeah.

-现在可以去吃饭了吗 -当然

Hey how's it going

玩得怎么样了

Boom

炸

Ok I'm gonna drive.

还是我来开车吧

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