生活大爆炸-S09E01_生活大爆炸

S01

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

《生活大爆炸》前情回顾

Well there was this girl.

有这么一个姑娘

What did you do

你干什么了

Nothing.

什么也没干

Really it was just kissing.

真的就接吻了而已

All right.

好吧

So we're still getting married

我们还是会结婚的吧

Yes.

对

Because we love each other.

因为我们彼此相爱

Yes.

对

And it's the happiest day of our life.

这是我们这辈子最开心的一天

Don't push it.

别得寸进尺

I need some time to take a step back

我需要些时间缓一缓后退一步

and reevaluate our situation.

重新评估下我们的状况

Bye Sheldon.

再见谢尔顿

Well Gollum...

咕噜[魔戒角色]

...you're an expert on rings.

你是戒指专家

时至今日

What do I do with this one

你说我该拿这枚戒指怎么办呢

So what package are you thinking

你觉得哪个婚礼套餐好

Mm this one comes with music and flowers.

这套餐有音乐跟鲜花呢

Oh they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet.

而且还能在网上直播我们的婚礼

Why would we want that

我们直播了干嘛

'Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there

因为世上还有许多漂亮的金发妹

who don't believe they can land a short nearsighted scientist.

不信自己能有幸找到一个四眼短腿科学家

Let's give them hope.

让她们看到还有希望嘛

Whatever. Put us on the Internet.

随便网上直播就直播吧

I've always wanted a wedding with a comment section.

我从小就"梦想"自己的婚礼有个留言区

I If you're not into this we can do it another time.

如果你不想我们可以以后再结

No. No I want to.

不不我想结婚

Look we've put this off long enough.

这事我们已经拖得太久了

Let's do it.

现在就做吧

That's exactly what you said the first time we slept together.

我们第一次"睡"时你也说现在就"做"吧

Oh excuse me.

抱歉

Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Leonard have you gotten married yet

莱纳德你结完婚了吗

No. Why

还没怎么了

Good. Don't do it Why not

-那就好别结 -为什么不行

Some important new information has come to light.

我刚发现了重要的新资讯

Women are the worst.

女人最坏了

I thought it was paper cuts but I was wrong.

我本以为就像被纸割到手但我错了

No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.

从没有一张纸比女人割我还深

What happened now

又怎么啦

Amy has ended our relationship.

艾米跟我分手了

Oh no. Seriously

不是吧真的吗

What's going on

发生什么事了

Amy broke up with Sheldon.

艾米甩了谢尔顿

She did

真的吗

Is Penny crying

佩妮泪崩了吗

No.

没有

No of course not.

她当然不会哭啦

They thrive on our suffering.

女人巴不得看我们受折磨

Buddy I I'm so sorry.

兄弟我很遗憾

Is there anything I can do

我能为你做点什么吗

Yes. If I ever talk about going out with a girl again

能以后我再说我要跟女生交往

roll your eyes at me

你就对我翻白眼

like I do to you when you say dumb things.

就像我听到你说蠢话时的那样

Sheldon uh o okay

行谢尔顿

just because you're going through this with Amy

虽然艾米让你难过了

doesn't mean that all women are bad.

但并不代表所有女人都很坏

Whatever.

呵呵

Hey I just heard about you and Sheldon. Are you okay

我刚听说你跟谢尔顿的事你还好吗

Not really.

不太好

Can you come over

你能来陪我吗

Uh actually I'm in Vegas.

我现在在赌城

Leonard and I are about to get married.

我跟莱纳德准备要结婚了

Hold on.

等等

You're getting married and you didn't invite me

你们结婚居然没邀请我

Well it was kind of a spur of the moment thing.

我们只是一时心血来潮

Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.

希望我能从这里接到你的捧花啊

Amy don't be like that.

艾米别这样嘛

Why did I just hear Amy's name

为什么我听到有人说艾米的名字

Penny's on the phone with her.

佩妮在跟她通电话

Did she say anything about me

她有提到我吗

Never mind. I don't care.

算了我才不在乎

Well if you care you can find out and tell me.

如果你在乎你可以问清楚告诉我

Just don't be shocked when you find out that I don't care.

但你发现我压根不在乎时别太惊讶哦

Okay will you relax

你别激动好吗

You're not missing anything special.

你才没错过什么大事

Hey.

怎么说话呢

She's upset.

她心情不好嘛

Look it's gonna be a great wedding.

婚礼肯定会很赞

Look at you in your little suit.

瞧你一身小正装

Amy's upset Is it about me

艾米心情不好是因为我吗

No I think it's because we're eloping.

不是我想是因为我们私奔来结婚

Your marriage is causing her pain

你的婚礼让她难受了吗

Yeah great I take it back.

太好了我收回之前的话

Go ahead and do it. Yay for love

快去结婚吧爱情万岁

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第一集

Hello.

你好

What are you doing here

你来这里干嘛

When last we spoke you said you needed time.

我们最后一次通话时你说你需要时间冷静

Well it's only been 11 hours.

这才过了11个小时

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours.

《指环王》三部曲也差不多11小时

I made you watch that you said it was an eternity.

我让你看完它们你说这11小时如永恒

Sheldon when I'm ready to talk I'll let you know.

谢尔顿等我想跟你谈会通知你的

Very well.

好吧

You seem to be headed somewhere.

你要出门呀

May I walk with you

我能陪你走出去吗

Sure.

行

Boy I'm glad we're going out again.

真庆幸我们又"一起出去"了

We're not back together.

我们不是复合

Why

为什么

Is there someone else

有新欢了吗

Just couldn't wait for that first notch

一逮到机会

on your bedpost could you

就等不及要"开荤"了是吧

If you must know

如果你一定要问

I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's

我是要去霍华德与伯纳黛特家

to watch the wedding.

一起看婚礼直播

And who's this guy you're taking

你要带哪个男人去

There's no guy

没有要带男人

Oh you're going to a wedding alone

你要形单影只的去参加婚礼吗

That's sad.

好惨呐

I'm not gonna be alone.

我才不会形单影只

I'll be with my friends.

我的小伙伴们也会在

Your friends

"你的"小伙伴们吗

Well I think you mean my friends.

他们是我的小伙伴吧

And why wasn't I invited to this

而且为什么没人邀请我啊

Maybe because the two of us being there

或许是因为我们两个同时在场

would make them feel awkward.

会让他们觉得很尴尬吧

We make everyone feel awkward.

我们让所有人感到尴尬

That's our thing

这是我们的招牌啊

They're running a little behind.

前面的人可能耽误了

Should be pretty soon. Okay.

-应该很快就到我们了 -好的

Hey if you're hungry there's a breakfast buffet

如果你饿了隔壁那家脱衣舞厅

at the strip club next door.

有自助早餐

Thanks but I don't like glitter on my scrambled eggs.

多谢但我不喜欢煎蛋上有闪粉

脱衣舞娘身上都会撒满闪粉

I don't think the strippers prepare the meal but okay.

早餐应该不是脱衣舞娘做的吧但没关系

Look it it's not how I pictured it either

虽然这跟我想象中的也不一样

but I'm still glad we're doing it.

但我很高兴我们要结婚了

Me too.

我也是

You sure Yes.

-你确定吗 -确定

And you promise you're okay with everything from the car

你保证车里的谈话不会影响到你吗

Oh my God would you stop bringing it up

老天你能不能别一个劲地提这茬

You're right. I'm sorry.

你说得对对不起

We have the rest of our lives

我们还有一辈子的时间

to dredge stuff up from the past and fight about it.

可以慢慢翻旧账再大吵一架

So what do you think

你觉得怎么样

Should we run next door and grab a bite

我们要不要去隔壁吃一口

What if they call our names

万一叫到我们怎么办

Oh don't worry. They gave me this vibrating coaster.

别担心他们给了我震动叫号器

Oh and the fairy tale continues.

哇真是犹如"童话"一般

Thank you for doing this.

感谢你们收留我

Our pleasure.

别客气

You feeling okay

你心情还好吗

We were together for so long

我们在一起这么久

I honestly don't know what I'm feeling.

老实说我都不知道现在是什么心情

Well that's understandable.

可以理解

You forgot. It's called "happy."

因为你忘了这种心情叫"快乐"

Howard.

霍华德

I'm not saying anything bad.

我又没说什么不好的话

Just that she was in love with her captor

她爱上了囚禁自己的变态

and somehow managed to escape from his dark and crazy dungeon.

结果福至心灵逃出了他阴暗又疯狂的地牢

I know what you're going through.

我知道你现在的感受

My my last breakup was pretty tough.

我前一次分手也非常不好受

Oh. What was her name

是吗那女孩叫什么

Hey it's a true story.

拜托这可是真事

I don't need the third degree.

不需要这么逼问我细节吧

For God's sake Sheldon what are you doing

要人命啊谢尔顿你在干嘛

I didn't want to come in.

我不想进去

I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable.

有人说我会让大家觉得尴尬

So I'll just stay out here

所以我就在外面待着

and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom.

假装我不需要上洗手间

Howard do something.

霍华德想想办法

I'm on it.

交给我吧

Sheldon you being here might not be making things better.

谢尔顿你来这也不会让事情产生转机

I see.

我明白

And is that why everybody was invited but me

所以你们邀请大家唯独漏了我吗

They didn't invite everybody but you.

他们没有邀请大家不邀请你啊

Bernadette invited me

伯纳黛特邀请我

and Stuart lives here.

斯尔图特本来就住这里

Who wants hot cinnamon rolls

谁想吃刚出炉的肉桂卷啊

So when you hear the music that's your cue.

一听到音乐你们就可以往前走了

Any questions

有问题吗

Oh the package that we paid for

我们买的那个套餐

said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals.

写着走道上会铺满玫瑰花瓣

Where are the rose petals

玫瑰花瓣呢

We're out

没了

You know what It's fine.

算了没事

We can use the potpourri from the bathroom

我们可以用厕所里的干花瓣

Really we're good.

真的不需要了

Yup just want to get married.

对结婚才是重点

Yeah. Great.

-对 -那就好

I'll see you two up there.

我在圣坛上等你们

This is it. I know.

-这一刻终于来了 -我知道

I love you.

我爱你

I love you too.

我也爱你

Was that a yes or no on the potpourri

干花瓣还要不要了

No thank you We're good

-不要了 -谢谢

Raj you're probably wondering

拉杰你脑中肯定在想

why Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another.

为什么我和艾米不秀恩爱了

Didn't even crack the top ten.

这事都没挤进我脑海中的前十

Well you should know that she recently broke up with me.

你应该要知道她刚刚跟我分手了

I said I needed time to think.

我说我需要时间思考

I'm sure you guys will figure something out.

我相信你们俩会想出解决办法

You hear that Raj is devastated.

听见了没拉杰都悲痛欲绝了

Sheldon shh. The wedding's starting.

谢尔顿别吵婚礼开始了

I see what's happening.

我知道怎么回事了

Sides are forming.

大伙儿开始分边站了

Well if Bernadette's on Amy's team I pick Howard.

如果伯纳黛特支持艾米那我选霍华德好了

I'm not taking sides.

我不偏袒任何一方

Fine I guess I'm stuck with Raj.

好吧那我只能选拉杰了

Really

你不是吧

At least you got picked.

至少你被选上了

Before I go any further

在我继续仪式前

have either of you prepared your own vows

我想问你们俩有准备誓词吗

Yes. No.

-有 -没有

You wrote vows

你居然写了誓词

Yeah.

是的

Well I don't have any.

我一个字都没写

You're kind of making me look bad.

你让我好没面子啊

It's okay. I I don't have to say them.

没事我也不一定非要念

No no no go ahead.

不不不念吧

I'll come up with something mushy you'll cry

我会想出一些伤感的话弄哭你

we got this.

这很好办

"Penny we are made of particles

"佩妮粒子从宇宙诞生之初

that have existed since the moment the universe began.

就存在世上是它们造就了我们

I like to think those atoms traveled

我常想那些原子

14 billion years through time and space to create us

用140亿年穿越时间和空间来创造我们

so that we could be together and make each other whole."

好让我们能相遇完整对方"

Penny

佩妮

Right. Um... okay.

好到我了

Leonard I mean you're not only the love of my life.

莱纳德你不仅仅是我一生的挚爱

I mean you're my best friend and...

你是我最好的朋友

...you've got a friend in me.

我是你的好朋友

You got troubles.

你有麻烦

I got 'em too.

我做你参谋

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.

为了你我愿意赴汤蹈火

We stick together and we can see it through

我们团结一心克服所有困难

'cause... you've got a friend in me.

因为我是你的好朋友

Is that the song from Toy Story

这不是《玩具总动员》的歌吗

He loves that movie.

他可喜欢那部电影了

I do.

真的

Aw that was beautiful. Yeah.

-真是太美了 -是呀

I mean not like our wedding beautiful.

虽然没有我们的婚礼美

No we totally won.

当然我们完胜

Amy I don't understand are we broken up or not

艾米我不明白我们到底分手了没

It's like you can't make up your mind.

你好像一直作不了决定啊

It's because you're not giving me any space to think.

那是因为你完全不给我思考的空间

Well you should think fast

是吗那你最好赶紧想

because men can sire offspring their entire lives

因为男人一辈子都能传宗接代

but those eggs you're toting around have a sell by date.

你的卵子可是会过期作废哦

You know what Sheldon you've made this really easy.

谢尔顿你这临门一脚来得正是时候

You're immature you're selfish

你是个幼稚透顶自私自利的人

you just insulted me to my face.

你还当面羞辱我

I don't need any more time to think. We're broken up.

我不用再想了咱俩玩完了

Amy...

艾米

Will someone take me home

有谁能送我回家吗

Yeah. Come on I'll give you a ride.

好吧我送你回去

...symbolizes your eternal love.

...象征你们永恒的爱

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

我现在宣布你们正式结为夫妻

We did it

我们结婚啦

I'm so glad you guys could watch

真开心你们能见证这一刻

We'll say it was beautiful in the comment section.

我们就在留言区留"太美太感人"好了

No no no. Hang on.

不不等一下

I believe I'm supposed to carry you across the threshold.

照习俗我应该抱你入洞房

Can you

你行吗

Who do you think carries Sheldon to bed

你以为谢尔顿看电视睡着

when he falls asleep in front of the TV

都是哪位壮士抱他回房间的啊

Okay let's do it.

好吧来吧

You gonna make it I'm okay

-你能做到吗 -没问题

Nicely done

顺利完成

Thank you.

谢谢你

Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter

总算有一位"霍夫斯塔德夫人"

who isn't disappointed in me.

没对我失望了

Well the night is still young.

说这话还为时尚早呢

Everything all right

你没事吧

Yeah. I guess.

没事

Just tell me.

告诉我嘛

It's just when we were kissing

我们接吻时

I couldn't help but picture you with that other girl.

我总是忍不住去想你和其他女孩的画面

Oh no.

不会吧

No come on.

别这样

I have a friend in you.

你可是我的好朋友

You said so.

你自己说的

You're right. Just forget it.

你说得对忘掉这事吧

Yeah.

好的

Okay listen. Uh...

好了听我说

If you're imagining that it was sexy

如果你以为那是很香艳的画面

it wasn't.

其实并没有

We we were both drunk and she smelled like an ashtray.

我们都喝挂了她一股子烟灰缸味

The boat was moving a lot so I chipped her tooth.

船身摇晃不定我还撞碎了她的牙齿

Did you feel guilty

你觉得内疚吗

No she had dental insurance.

不她有牙医保险

Did you feel guilty after kissing her

你和她接吻后觉得内疚吗

Yes. I felt guilty as soon as it happened.

当然我刚亲完就后悔了

I feel guilty every time I see her.

每次看到她都有深深的负罪感

What do you mean every time you see her

你说每次看到她是什么意思

What... do I mean

我...是什么意思呢

Boy that's a toughie.

老天这个问题可真难

You still see her

你现在还会见她吗

Well no not socially.

不不是约她见面的那种

But you know just at work.

只是工作时会遇到

You work with her

你还和她一起工作吗

How could you not tell me that

你怎么不告诉我这件事

I wanted to tell you in the car but you told me to stop talking

我在车里就想告诉你可你要我闭嘴

Oh okay. So you're saying this is my fault

好呀所以现在是我错了吗

No of course not.

不当然不是

Okay l look

好了我说

instead of fighting

我们不要吵了

why don't we dim the lights

不如把灯关掉

um get naked and make a baby

脱光光造宝宝好不好

I was trying to lighten the mood.

我是在努力调节气氛

It's not easy. You try it.

这事可不容易不信你试试

Hello Mother.

妈妈你好

Shelly How's my baby doing

谢利宝贝你还好吗

I just wanted to let you know

我想让你知道

that you can remove Amy from your nightly prayers.

你可以把艾米从你的夜祷名单上去掉了

Unless you're open to praying for

除非你愿意祈祷

a beehive to fall on her head.

一个大蜂巢掉在她头上

Oh what's going on

这是怎么了

She broke up with me.

她和我分手了

Oh Shelly.

谢利

No I'll be okay.

不我没事

But I think that I'd like

但我想把

to send the ring back to you.

戒指寄还给你

Well let's not be hasty.

先别这么着急

Are you sure it's over for good

你确定真的结束了吗

It's over for me. I'm done with women.

反正我是结束了我受够女人了

Like when I swore off Pop Rocks.

就像我再也不吃跳跳糖一样

They both hurt you on purpose.

他们都故意伤害我

You want to tell me what happened

想跟妈妈倾诉一下吗

Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan

你会说一切都是上帝安排好的吗

Good chance.

很有可能

Then no thank you.

谢谢那还是算了

Well honey don't send it back yet.

宝贝先别把戒指寄回来

Your sister's married and I'm not letting your brother

你姐姐结婚了我祖母的戒指

give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating.

我不想送给你哥哥在泡的那个小荡妇

Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute

抹大拉的玛利亚不也是个妓女吗

When your idiot brother redeems mankind

如果你那白痴哥哥可以拯救人间苍生

he can date whoever he wants.

那他想和谁约会都没问题

I know it hurts now but it's gonna get better.

我知道你现在很难过但会过去的

Yeah.

是的

Everything's gonna be okay.

一切都会好起来

You've got so much to offer.

你集无数优点于一身

Thank you.

谢谢你

Any man would be lucky to have you.

能和你在一起是每个男人的荣幸

That's true.

没错

I just hope I did the right thing.

我只希望我做了正确的选择

I'm sure you did.

我肯定你做得对

Maybe that's the problem you always do the right thing.

或许这就是你的问题永远做正确的选择

Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing.

或许是时候"犯个错误"了

Like you're doing right now

比如做你现在这样的错事吗

Exactly.

没错

I asked you over and over if you were okay.

我一次又一次问你介不介意

Why would you go through with the wedding if you weren't

如果你介意为什么还要完婚呢

I thought I was okay but it turns out I'm not.

我本来以为我不介意谁知道原来不行

Okay listen I may not have been entirely faithful

好吧我或许不是百分百诚实

but you you are not easy to lift

但你体重也不是多轻好吗

Well marriage must agree with you.

婚姻太适合你了

Well you are just glowing.

你整个人容光焕发啊

I'm not glowing.

我才没有容光焕发

I'm upset.

我是不爽到炸

Well whatever it is it agrees with you.

随便你什么心情反正太适合你了

Knock knock knock Penny

敲敲敲佩妮

Knock knock knock Penny

敲敲敲佩妮

Knock knock knock Penny

敲敲敲佩妮

What's this

这是什么

Leonard told me what happened

莱纳德都跟我说了

so I took it upon myself to make you a hot beverage.

所以我自发为你做了热饮

Oh. That's so sweet of you.

你真是太贴心了

Yeah. I know.

我知道

Turns out being sweet

事实证明这年头

isn't enough to keep a girl these days.

贴心并不能留住姑娘

I blame Madonna.

都怪麦当娜

I'm sorry to hear about you and Amy.

很遗憾你和艾米分手了

Well I'm sorry about Leonard.

我也很遗憾莱纳德那样对你

Thought I raised him better than that.

都怪我没教好他

You know it's bad enough what happened

发生那种事已经够糟心了

but then he tried to hide the fact that he sees her

但更糟心的是他还试图隐瞒

all the time at the university.

他整天能在大学里见到她

He does Who is it

是吗谁啊

Some girl named Mandy.

一个叫曼蒂的女人

Mandy Chao Yeah.

-曼蒂·周吗 -对的

Oh you don't need to worry about her.

你完全不需要担心她

She's brilliant and attractive.

她美貌与智慧兼具

She can do way better than Leonard.

她能找到比莱纳德好十万倍的男人

That's great.

太好了

Wait a minute.

等等

I know this may sound farfetched

我知道这话可能有点不现实

but I'm on the market now.

但我现在也单身了

You know if I dated Mandy

如果我跟曼蒂好上了

that would teach both Leonard and Amy a lesson.

应该能给莱纳德与艾米一个教训

That's ridiculous.

这也太荒谬了

Oh you're right.

也是

I could never be with a woman whose self esteem was so low

我决不会跟一个自尊心低到能跟莱纳德

she'd be with Leonard.

在一起的女人好上

I'm with Leonard.

我就跟莱纳德在一起啊

Yeah I know. Forever.

是啊一辈子呢

Who would have believed these things would happen to us

谁敢相信我们居然会碰到这样的事

Right

对吧

I can't believe Amy actually went through with it.

我也不敢相信艾米居然真决定狠下心

Hang on.

等等

You knew that she was going to end it with me

你之前就知道她会跟我分手吗

Did you try and stop her

你有试图阻止她吗

I told her to be true to herself

我让她直面本心

and do what makes her happy.

做让自己开心的选择

Do what makes her happy

做让自己开心的选择

She plays the harp and her car is paid for.

她有竖琴有车

How much happier can she be

这还不够开心吗

Okay look it's not my fault

这不能怪我啊

that she thought you were a bad boyfriend.

她是自己觉得你是差劲的男友

I see.

我懂了

I think I'll be going.

我先走一步了

Sheldon... No no no no.

-谢尔顿 -多说无益

We are done here.

就此别过

Would you mind opening the door

不介意帮我开个门

and then angrily slamming it behind me

等我出去后再帮我气愤地甩门吧

Sure. Thank you.

-好 -多谢

And slam it hard

要重重地甩

because I am pretty steamed.

因为我火冒好几丈了

All right Leonard hang in there.

好莱纳德撑着点啊

Talk to you tomorrow.

明天见

What happened They just got married.

怎么了他们才刚刚完婚不是吗

I don't know. It's a mess.

我也不知道反正就一团乱

They had a huge fight in Vegas.

他们在赌城吵了一大架

Think they'll break up

你觉得他们会分手吗

I don't know. Sounds pretty bad.

不确定听起来挺严重

Penny's back in her apartment all by herself.

佩妮自己一个人在公寓里待着

Really

是咩

Would you like to hear another reason

还想再听另一个

why men are better than women

为什么男人比女人强的理由吗

Sure let's make it an even hundred.

行啊说一百个也无妨

You would never kiss me and make me say "I love you"

你永远不会亲我让我说"我爱你"

and then break up with me.

然后再跟我分手

I wouldn't.

我的确不会

And you know why

你知道为什么吗

'Cause you're a man.

因为你是个男人

The champagne of genders.

高档牛逼的性别

Well I may be a man

或许我是个男人

but I think I'm the one that screwed up on this one.

但这一次做错事的好像是我

Yeah well and you admit it like a man.

是啊但你像个男人一样承认了

All you hear women say is

你只会听到女人说

"I'll just have a salad."

"我想要一份色拉"

"Where's my lip gloss "

"我的唇彩跑哪去了"

"I think this element should be called radium."

"我觉得这个元素应该叫镭"

That last one was Madame Curie.

最后那句话是居里夫人说的

I figured that out.

我想到了

You know what She was kind of an honorary man.

她其实应该算是荣誉男人

She had a penis made of science.

她有科学做的鸡鸡

Can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you.

真不敢相信我的新婚之夜是跟你过

Really

是吗

I never imagined it any other way.

我从没想过会有别种可能

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