"The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door.
通往地下城的入口是一道布满苔藓的大门
"You manage to open it only to find yourself
你设法打开门 结果发现自己
"Face to face with a hideous foul smelling
面对着一个丑陋恶臭
moss covered ogre."
布满苔藓的食人魔
What do you do
你该怎么做
I say "Hey Ma what's for dinner "
我会跟他说"老妈 今晚吃点啥呢"
Seventeen.
十七点
The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass.
食人魔被你的玩笑打动 允许你进入了
By the by I liked it too.
顺便说一句 我也喜欢
How go the wedding plans Howard
婚礼筹备得如何了 霍华德
Great. We spent five hours last night
很好啊 我们昨晚花了五小时
at Macy's registering for gifts.
在梅西百货挑选礼物
Looks like I'm finally going to have
看上去我终于能够品尝到
that darling little earthenware asparagus dish I've always wanted.
我那梦寐以求的小巧可爱的陶盘芦笋菜肴了
See this is the good thing
看吧 这就是
about having a girlfriend 9 000 miles away.
女友远在天边的好处了
I can spend my nights doing whatever I want.
我起码可以在晚上为所欲为
You mean like playing nerd games with us
你指的是跟我们玩完书呆子游戏后
and then taking a suspiciously long shower
再去冲个可疑的长时间热水澡吗
Maybe.
也许吧
We enter the dungeon.
我们进入了地下城
You see a dragon.
看见了一条龙
Really So we're playing Dungeons & Dragons
不是吧 我们玩的这叫《龙与地下城》
and we walk into a dungeon and see a dragon
然后进入地下城就看见一条龙
Isn't that a little on the nose
不觉得有点太直接了吗
When you play Chutes and Ladders do you complain
当你玩梯子滑道游戏时 你抱怨过
about all the chutes and all the ladders
所有的滑道和梯子吗
Are you gonna eat that whole pie
你要把整个馅饼都吃了吗
Maybe. Why not
也许吧 为啥不行
Who do I have in my life to watch my figure for
我的人生又有谁值得去为之奋斗呢
Oh God did you watch Bridget Jones again
天哪 你是不是又看了一遍《BJ单身日记》
No it's just that everybody's got someone.
不是啊 因为大家都有了归属
Sheldon's with Amy Howard's getting married
谢尔顿和艾米在一起 霍华德要结婚了
you're dating my sister.
你在跟我妹妹约会
Now that Howard's getting married
既然霍华德要结婚了
maybe he'll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you.
他可能会在众多充气娃娃中 挑一个前女友送你
You know who I blame for my loneliness
你知道我的孤独是谁的错吗
The United States of America.
就是美利坚合众国
Your movies and your TV shows promised streets paved
你们的电影和电视剧承诺这里的街道
with beautiful blonde women with big bazongas.
满是漂亮的金发巨乳美女
Eat another pie you'll have your own bazongas.
再吃个馅饼 你就能拥有自己的巨乳了
That's cruel.
你这么说太残忍了
You know it goes straight to my hips.
你知道我的肥肉只会长在屁股上
Gentlemen please focus.
先生们 请专心点
You're facing a fire breathing dragon.
你们现在面对着一条喷火龙
I don't know if I want to play anymore.
我不想玩下去了
Because you don't have a girlfriend
就因为你没有女朋友吗
Well good Lord
我的亲娘七舅老爷
if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons
如果因为这就不玩《龙与地下城》
this game's in serious trouble.
那这游戏算走到头了
By aBu 201705
生活大爆炸 第五季 第四集
Now I assume we use this same wax later on
等会儿我们还用这些蜡剂
to neaten up each other's bikini regions.
来互相清理我们的比基尼部位
比基尼部位:女性的三个隐私部位
Yeah my bikini region is fine.
我的比基尼部位很干净
Who's shocked I'm not.
谁震惊到了 我没有
So Bernadette how's the wedding planning going
伯纳黛特 婚礼筹划得怎样了
And I'm not asking as a prospective bridesmaid.
我这么问可不是想成为伴娘候选人哦
Pick me Pick me
快选我吧 选我吧
We went cake tasting yesterday.
我们昨天去试吃婚宴蛋糕了
Raj came along.
拉杰也来了
He cried and ate half the samples.
他痛哭流涕 还吃掉一半的蛋糕样品
Oh the poor guy's so lonely.
那可怜的家伙太孤独了
We should set him up with someone.
我们应该给他找个伴儿
You know I met a really cute girl at work.
我工作时遇到了个可爱的女孩儿
She's married to a guy in one of our drug trials.
她嫁给了我们那儿一位药品临床试验者
Well hello
She's married.
她都已婚了啊
Yeah but her husband is in
是啊 但她老公目前
serious congestive heart failure
处于充血性心脏衰竭状态
and a little birdie told me he's in the placebo group.
据称 他现在已经被安排到安慰剂组了
安慰剂:并不能使病人得到有效治疗,但却"预料"或"相信"治疗有效,而让病患症状得到舒缓
Okay so future grief stricken widow
好吧 未来又多一位悲伤的寡妇
is the one to beat.
亟待他人的抚慰了
Are we ready to order
我们准备点菜了吗
One moment.
稍等
I'm conducting an experiment.
我现在正在做一个实验
With Dungeons & Dragons dice
用《龙与地下城》的骰子吗
Yes. From here on in I've decided
是的 从这刻起 我决定
to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice
以后不重要的决定都通过掷骰子决定
thus freeing up my mind
这样可以为我的头脑腾出时间
do what it does best enlighten and amaze.
做它最擅长的事儿:启迪思维 震惊世界
Page 14 item seven.
第14页 第7条
So what's for dinner
那么我们到底吃什么
A side of corn succotash.
一份豆煮玉米
Hmm. Interesting.
真有意思
Um Howard can I see you for a minute please
霍华德 我能找你有点事儿吗
I don't want to show any more of your friends
我不想再给你的朋友们表演
how I can fit in the booster seats.
我是如何坐进幼儿加高座椅里了
Uh no that's not it. Just come with me please.
额 不是让你做这个 请跟我来吧
Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with.
我们看看喝点什么来配豆煮玉米
A pitcher of margaritas.
一大壶玛格丽特鸡尾酒
Do you really want that
你真想这样吗
That's the great thing.
这才是最精彩的地方
It doesn't matter.
选什么无所谓
My mind is freed up to think about more important things.
我的头脑能够有更多时间思考更重要的事情
What's it thinking about now
那你的头脑现在想什么呢
Hamburgers and lemonade.
汉堡和柠檬水
Um Raj there's someone I want you to meet.
拉杰 我这有个朋友想介绍给你认识
This is my friend Emily. I know her from my spin class.
这是我的朋友艾米丽 我在健身课上认识的
Raj relax. She can't hear you. She's deaf.
拉杰 淡定 她听不见你说什么 她是聋人
Emily this is our friend Raj.
艾米丽 这是我们的朋友拉杰
Look at you guys just hitting it off.
看你俩多合得来呀
I am so good.
我真是超级红娘
Hi.
你好
She says "it's nice to meet you""
她说"很高兴认识你"
Does she really mean that
她是认真的
or was she signing it sarcastically
还是在损我呀
Raj says it's nice to meet you too.
拉杰说他也很高兴认识你
She says she has to go back to her family
她说她得回去陪家人了
but Penny has her number if you want
但你若想发短信给她 约她出来聚聚的话
to text her and get together.
你可以找佩妮要她的电话
Okay I'm going to play it cool.
好吧 我决定扮酷
Tell her "Maybe. Whatever babe."
跟她说"再说吧 到时候再看 宝贝儿"
He'll text you.
他会发短信给你的
Look at that. I have a date.
瞧瞧 我有约会了
I love America again.
我又开始热爱美国了
And now for dessert...
现在到甜点了
Come on hot fudge sundae come on hot fudge sundae.
拜托 朱古力新地 我要朱古力新地
Bam That's what I'm talking about
哦耶 这就对了
Okay as soon as she gets here
好吧 等她一到
so she knows I'm cool with it
既然她知道我很淡定
I'm going to make a joke about her being deaf.
所以我要就她的耳聋开个玩笑
I was thinking "Hey did you hear the one about...
比如说 嘿 你听说过那个什么没有
Oh no I bet you didn't."
对哦 我忘了你听不见了
Maybe we should revisit your lonely fat guy plan.
你还是老老实实当回你的单身肥男好了
Oh she's here.
她来了
No joke.
别开玩笑
She says she's sorry she's late.
她说她很抱歉来迟了
Tell her it doesn't matter.
跟她说没关系
Tell her her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies
跟她说她的眼睛就像是天女宫
in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens.
湖中乳白色百合一样闪烁
Really
真的吗
That's the first thing you want to say
你一上来就要说这句话吗
I worked on it all night. Use it.
我想了整晚了 就这么说
Look I don't know the sign for opalescent.
我不知道"乳白色"的手语
Then spell it.
那就拼出来给她看
I don't know how to spell it.
我不会拼
You're blowing this for me
你就非要给我搞砸了
He likes your eyes.
他喜欢你的眼睛
You're making me sound like a caveman.
这下好了 我听上去就像是个山顶洞人
She says "Thank you. You have nice eyes too."
她说 "谢谢 你的眼睛也很漂亮"
Really Ask her how many children she wants
真的吗 问她想要几个孩子
and whatever number she says say "Me too."
不管她说多少 你就说"我也是"
No.
不要
Fine. Tell her I have a deep sexy voice
好吧 那就跟她说 我的声音低沉性感
like James Earl Jones.
就像詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯一样
美国影星 曾给《狮子王》中老国王配音
She doesn't know what James Earl Jones sounds like.
她哪知道詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯的声音什么样啊
Great. Then she won't know I'm lying.
正好 那她就不会知道我在骗人了
Let's see what else can I tell you about me
让我想想 我还能跟你说点我的什么
that would make you like me
来让你喜欢我呢
Ooh I love music.
我热爱音乐
Do you love music
你喜欢音乐吗
You really want to ask her that
你真的要问她这个吗
You're right. Everyone loves music.
也对 是人都热爱音乐啦
She says "Do you play an instrument "
她问 "你会弹奏乐器吗"
No
不会
but when I was six years old
但是我六岁的时候
I tried to start a boy band called
曾经想要成立一个男生乐队
模仿Frankie Goes To Hollywood英国老牌乐队
Frankie Goes to Bollywood.
叫"法兰基到宝莱坞"
But I couldn't get any other boys to join
但是我找不到其他男生肯跟我组队
so my parents asked the servants
于是我父母就只好叫我家的仆人
to be my backup dancers.
来做我的候补舞者
Wait when you sign "servants"
等一下 你比划"仆人"的时候
don't sign it like I'm bragging.
别比划得好像我在炫耀一样
Sign it in a way that I sound humble
要比划成我很谦虚
with just a hint of "That's right I had servants."
同时又透露出"没错 我有仆人"那种感觉
Do you hear yourself
天啊 你还真是满嘴胡话呀
Yes but she doesn't. So get signing hand monkey.
怕啥 反正她又听不见 快比划呀 长臂猿
I think I wrote a letter to Santa Claus every day.
我每天都给圣诞老人写一封信
And then on Christmas morning
终于到了圣诞节的早上
under the tree is a little puppy
我在圣诞树下找到一只
with a red ribbon.
系着红缎带的小狗
What are you doing
你在干嘛
Texting Bernadette that I'm gonna be late.
给伯纳黛特发短信 告诉她我今晚要晚点回去
Dude what is she saying
哥们儿 她说什么呢
It's a funny story about a puppy.
她在讲一个关于狗狗的搞笑故事
Just smile and laugh.
你就跟着笑就对了
Quick quick stop smiling. What Why
-好了 好了 不要笑了 -怎么了
The puppy died it choked on a doll head.
小狗后来死掉了 它吞了一个娃娃的头
Sad face sad face
表情悲哀 表情悲哀
It's a little hard to see with the city lights
在城市闪耀的灯火下有点看不清楚
but that W shaped constellation is Cassiopeia.
但是那个W形状的星座就是仙后座
And she was the mother of Andromeda who's over there.
旁边的是仙女座 也就是仙后座的女儿
Look pretty stars.
看呀 一闪一闪亮晶晶
This is her car.
这是她的车
She hopes she can see you again sometime.
她希望下次能再见你
Good good.
好呀 好呀
Oh boy
天啊
help me out here.
帮我一下
Does she want me to kiss her or not
她想不想让我吻她
I speak sign language I don't read minds.
我只会打手语而已 又不会读心术
If you were me would you kiss her
如果你是我的话 你会不会吻她
Yeah but I'm a make out king.
会 但哥是调情高手呀
I was so smooth on that date.
哥真是太会泡妞了
You I made you smooth.
就你 是我帮你泡的好不好
You were an idiot.
你就是个蠢货
Whatever dude. She kissed me.
随便你咋说 反正她亲的是我
It might've been on your lips
也许她亲的是你的嘴唇
but it was my kiss.
但其实她亲的是我
Oh fine. Let's agree she kissed both of us.
好吧 那就当她亲了我们两个
Okay.
Mustache is looking good there Sheldon.
小胡子不错啊 谢尔顿
Don't thank me. Thank the dice.
别夸我 夸骰子吧
They told me what percentage of my face to shave.
骰子告诉我该刮多少比例的胡子
Why are you still doing this
你怎么还在搞这个
Because it's working.
因为这很有用
In the past few weeks
这几周
unburdened by trivial decisions
因为不用做琐碎的决定
I've co authored two papers
我已经和别人合作在著名
in notable peer reviewed journals
同行评审期刊上发表了两篇论文
and I'm close to figuring out why
我也就快搞清楚
the Large Hadron Collider has yet
大型强子对撞机
to isolate the Higgs boson particle.
是如何分离出希格斯玻色子的
You left out got chafed testicles
还有个你没提 你蛋蛋擦破了
because you no longer wear underpants.
就因为骰子告诉你不用再穿内裤了
The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.
成也骰子 败也骰子
Is Raj out with Emily again
拉杰又和艾米丽出去了吗
Yeah every night for the last month.
嗯 这个月来每晚都出去
Wow can't believe he has a girlfriend.
真难以置信他有女朋友了
Me neither.
我也想不到
Here's some other fun news on the Raj/Emily front.
我来爆点杰丽恋的料吧
He gave her a pair of diamond earrings and leased her a car.
他送了她一对钻石耳环 还给她租了一辆车
You're kidding.
真的假的
You think she's taking advantage of him
你觉得她在占他便宜吗
Oh of course not.
当然不会
She wouldn't do something like that.
她不会做这种事
She's deaf.
她可是聋子
聋女就不会是拜金女吗NDeaf women can't be gold diggers?
Handicapped people are nice Leonard.
残疾人都人很好 莱纳德
Everyone knows that.
地球人都知道
Yeah I actually have information about Raj
我知道一些关于拉杰的事
that would be helpful with this discussion.
也许对你们的讨论有帮助
Could you tell us
你能告诉我们吗
Let's see.
扔了再说
Snake eyes. Sorry bud.
两点 不好意思了
Wait hang on.
等下
Doubles. Roll again.
双人赛 再掷一次
Okay get this.
好吧 听好了
It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts
他给她买再多礼物也无所谓
because the Koothrappalis are vastly wealthy.
因为库萨帕里家超有钱
What do you mean "Vastly wealthy"
你说超有钱是什么意思
Well "Wealthy" Means a lot of money.
有钱就是指有很多钱
"Vastly" Means even more.
加上个超就是有很多很多钱
I'm not sure what's tripping you up.
这有什么听不懂的啊
Look I know they have money. I don't think it's that much.
听着 我知道他们有钱 但没这么有钱吧
No you're wrong.
不 你错了
As you know a few years ago I achieved one of
几年前 我实现了其中一个小梦想
my lesser dreams and became a notary public.
做了一名公证人
Well from time to time
时不时地
I notarize banking documents for Raj.
我要替拉杰公证一下账户记录
The Koothrappalis aren't just rich they're Richie Rich rich.
库萨帕里家不仅是有钱 而是超超超有钱
Well so how much is that
那是有多有钱
后者是《圣诞欢歌》主人公 超有钱也超小气
前者是蝙蝠侠 超有钱
About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.
差不多介于布鲁斯·韦恩和斯克鲁奇之间
What the hell
搞毛
The last time we went to the zoo
我们上次去动物园
that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro.
那丫的还让我给他买西班牙油条
Listen guys I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude
听着 伙计们 不好意思 我也不想这么无礼
but I need to go call Raj's sister who I love so much.
但我得打个电话给拉杰的妹妹 我超爱的那个
So vastly much.
超超超爱的那个
Okay so he's got money and it's a few gifts and a car.
好吧 他是很有钱 买了很多礼物...还有车
And she got him to pay off all her credit cards.
她还让他付了她所有的信用卡账单
What He paid off her credit cards
啥 他还帮她付信用卡账单
Damn it I could've dated Raj for a couple months.
我靠 我怎么就没和拉杰约会几个月呢
But I I wouldn't have because I'm not that kind of girl.
好吧 我不会这样 我不是这种人
We should really talk to Raj.
我们得和拉杰谈谈
He's not going to listen he's in love.
他听不进的 他坠入了爱河
Can't figure out what to do
不知道该怎么办吗
I remember those days.
我也有过这种日子
Now if you'll excuse me I have to...
而现在 请原谅 我不得不...
stay right here.
继续留在这
Yeah this is a bad idea.
这个主意太烂了
We should go. No.
-我们还是走吧 -不
I'm the one that introduced him to her.
是我介绍她给拉杰的
I've got to say something.
我得说点什么
You're engaged to my friend.
你和我朋友订婚了
Hey Bernadette doesn't mind where I get my motor running
伯纳黛特又不介意我在哪儿变得性致勃勃
as long as I park in the right garage.
只要别出轨 意淫也无妨
I can't believe you're engaged to my friend.
你居然和我朋友订婚了
Oh here she comes.
她来了
Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick can't hear you.
真聪明啊 小声说 让那聋女听不见
Nice to see you.
很高兴见到你
Um can we talk to you about Raj
我能和你谈谈拉杰吗
She says "Sure what about him""
她说 当然 他怎么了
Okay um gosh how do I start
好吧 哎 我该怎么说呢
Um see Raj is kind of naive.
那个 拉杰其实蛮天真的
I mean he hasn't dated a whole lot of women.
我是说 他没怎么和女人约会过
And I'm concerned that without meaning to
而我只是有点担心 没别的意思
you might be taking advantage of him.
你会不会可能在利用他
You know by letting him buy you a bunch of expensive things.
比如 让他给你买了很多奢侈品
And I I...
而我...
Howard focus.
霍华德 专心点
Tell her what I'm saying. Right.
-告诉她我说了什么 -好
Are you a gold digger or not
你是拜金女在找冤大头吗
Oh uh something something
此处省略不礼貌用语[以下something=fucking]
who the something do you think you are
你他妈以为你是谁
Mind your own something business
我的事关你屁事
and go something yourself.
滚你妹的
Wait I got this now.
好吧 我总算懂了
I'm so mad at you
我非常生你的气
Okay wait...
好吧 等等
How dare you ambush my girlfriend at the gym
你怎么敢在健身房偷袭我女朋友
We didn't mean for it to be an ambush.
我们不是想偷袭她的
Just it's kind of impossible not to sneak up on deaf people.
只是对聋子 想不偷袭都不可能
And hey since when are you so chatty
你什么时候这么健谈了
I'm hammered.
我醉了
Raj come here.
拉杰 进来说话
This girl is trouble.
她是个大麻烦
I mean what kind of relationship is it
你们这算哪门子关系
where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex
你送礼物给她 她用性爱做回礼
The best one I ever had
那是我收过最好的回礼
Okay come on.
好吧 拜托
You know you can do better.
你知道的 你还有更好选择
I see what's going on here.
我知道怎么回事了
You and I had our crazy night together
你我共度了疯狂一夜
and now you can't stand to see me with another woman.
现在你受不了我和别的女人在一起了
It's okay.
我懂的
I can't get mad at your feelings.
我不会因为你吃醋而生气的
I don't have feelings.
我才没有吃醋呢
Yeah that's good.
是啊 很好
Keep telling yourself that.
继续自欺欺人吧
He is cuter now that I know he's rich.
自从知道他是有钱人 他可爱多了
I have a surprise for you.
我有个惊喜送给你
Cover your eyes.
遮住眼睛
Open them.
把手放下来
It's a real ruby.
是天然红宝石的
It was a little expensive
有点贵
but no one can put a price on love.
不过真爱是无价的
Although the people at Cartier took a pretty good shot at it.
虽然卡地亚公司让真爱变得好昂贵
卡地亚:著名奢侈珠宝品牌
Oh Mummy Daddy.
妈妈 爸爸
What a nice surprise.
真是意外之喜
No it's not a nice surprise it's a bad surprise.
不 不是意外之喜 是意外之怒
Penny called us.
佩妮打电话给我们了
Penny
佩妮
She told us you're spending all our money
她告诉我们 你把我们的钱
on your new girlfriend.
都挥霍在新女友身上了
I just got her a couple of things.
我只送了她几件东西
She gives me things too.
她也有回礼呀
Yeah yeah I'm a gynecologist.
是 我是妇科医生
I know exactly what she gives you.
非常清楚她回的什么礼给你
You need to find a nice Indian girl from a good family.
你得找个门当户对的印度姑娘
If you keep seeing this woman you're cut off.
你要是继续跟她好 就拿不到我们的钱
What You're going to make me choose between the woman I love
什么 你们让我在深爱的女人
and the money I... have very strong feelings for
和强烈吸引我的金钱之间做抉择
It's up to you.
你自己决定吧
Well I choose love.
好吧 我选爱情
You're an idiot.
你个笨蛋
Love doesn't last.
爱情好比昙花一现
Well he's going to find out eventually.
他最终会发现的
Think about it.
好好想想吧
My parents are making me choose between money and you.
我父母让我在钱和你之间作选择
I choose you.
我选了你
No I think we'll have to return the car.
不 那车得退回去
And that necklace yeah that too.
那项链 也得退
But none of those things matter
但那些都不重要
because we have something better.
因为我们有更好的
We have love.
我们有爱
Oh Penny I hurt so bad.
佩妮 我心都碎了
I know I know.
我知道 我知道
Sometimes I put the TV on mute
有时候我会把电视静音
just to pretend she's still with me.
就为了假装她还和我在一起
But I can't watch the closed captioning without crying.
但我一看那隐藏字幕 就忍不住哭
Oh I'm so sorry.
我真为你痛心
I wish I could make you feel better.
真希望能让你心情好点
Seriously
什么人啊
I'm heartbroken and you're hitting on me
我心都碎了 你还要勾引我
What No
什么 不是的
Look Penny you're great
佩妮 你是个好人[著名的好人卡]
but I had a long talk with my parents
但我跟父母长谈了一番
and they said if I date an Indian girl
他们说只要我跟印度女孩约会
I get a Maserati.
就送我辆玛莎拉蒂
Oh cheesecake
哇 芝士蛋糕
you're just as good as a woman
你跟女人一样美味
even though I can't have sex with you.
即便我不能跟你上床
Try throwing it in the microwave for a few seconds.
放微波炉里热几秒再试试[然后再捅进去]
Should I use the rest room or wait until we get home
我该现在上厕所呢 还是等回家再上
Come on papa needs to void his bladder.
小乖乖 爸爸需要排空膀胱
Oh that's not what you want to see after three buttermilks.
喝了三杯酸奶之后 可不想看到这结果
Here you go boys.
账单来了 各位
I'll pick it up when you're ready.
把钱准备好了 我再过来
Thanks for dinner buddy.
谢谢请客 兄弟
Yeah real big of you.
是啊 你真是大方
Hurry hurry hurry.
快点 快点 快点
Oh and don't cheap out on the tip.
小费可不准少给了啊
We all know you're loaded now.
我们都知道你是阔少
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