生活大爆炸-S12E15_生活大爆炸

S01

Previously on count The Big Bang Theory...

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

Uh we sort of have another reason for asking you here.

我们邀请你们来其实还有其他原因

We want to have a baby

我们想要个孩子

but we can't do it on our own.

但我们自己没法生

Okay whoa whoa. Whoa whoa whoa.

等一下等一下等一下

Yeah this has been such a nice evening.

今晚很愉快

Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things.

我们在有人说出更多话之前结束吧

Leonard would you be the father of our baby

莱纳德你愿意当我们小孩的父亲吗

Oh you said a thing.

你开口说话了

时至今日

Thank you guys again for agreeing to do this.

再次谢谢你们愿意答应这件事

Yeah it means so much to us.

对我们来说意义十分重大

Ah we're happy we can help.

我们也很高兴能帮上忙

Yeah and we don't find it weird at all.

而且我们完全不觉得有哪里怪

It's a little weird for us too.

我们也有一点点觉得怪啦

I mean instead of our baby looking like Zack

毕竟我们的宝宝不会像扎克

it's gonna look like Leonard.

而是会像莱纳德

Or Penny if it's a girl.

如果是女孩会像佩妮

No no it's not gonna look...

不不会像...

Sure.

是啦

But I promise

但是我保证

we're gonna be really good parents.

我们会是很好的父母

Oh we know you will.

我们知道

So what is the next step ‭Yeah.

-所以下一步是什么呢 -是啊

Well Leonard we were hoping you'd go in on Monday.

莱纳德我们希望你能周一去诊所

Okay.

可以

And they say for the best results

他们的人说想要最好的结果

between now and then you shouldn't have sex.

现在到那时中间你最好不要发生性关系

Sorry bro

抱歉啦兄弟

I know it seems impossible to go for five days without

我知道5天不"那个"仿佛是不可能的任务

but I believe in you.

但我相信你能行

Five days My record is 24 years.

5天算个屁我的最长记录是24年

Uh I think that also means no flying solo.

我想那也包含独自"驾驶飞机"

Oh.

这样啊

Then my record is 14 years.

那我的最长记录是14年

And well we're really hoping for a son.

我们很希望有个儿子

So just like keep that in mind when you're in there.

所以到时候记得脑子里多想着这件事

Yeah just think "little boys little boys."

就一直想着"小男孩小男孩"

Still just totally not weird.

还是一点都不怪异呢

Hello.

大家好

Oh I won't be a moment. I just need to grab a book

不会打扰太久我就是来从书架高处

off a high shelf which I can do

拿一本书而这事我完全没问题

because I am both tall and smart.

因为我本人又高又聪明

Sheldon come home

谢尔顿给我回家

They don't want to have your baby

人家才不要你的种

I don't know what you're talking about.

我不知道你是在说什么鬼

Oh oh dear I think I got something in my eye.

妈呀好像有东西跑到我的眼里了

My piercing blue eye.

是我犀利的蓝眼珠

Sheldon ‭ Fine.

-谢尔顿 -行

I've also never had a cavity and I don't have asthma...

我也从没有过蛀牙也没有犯过哮喘

So this week would have been my wedding

我的婚礼本来应该在这周进行

if Anu and I hadn't decided to slow things down.

我是说如果安努跟我没决定要慢慢来的话

Oh yeah I would have forgotten

本来我估计也会忘了这事

except for those nonrefundable airline tickets to India I bought.

但我不能退钱的飞印度机票不停在提醒我

I'm sorry.

对不起嘛

No no. What's $3 000 between friends

没事与友情相比 3千块算什么呢

Yeah I probably would've just

反正那钱本来我估计

thrown it away on health care for my children.

也就是浪费在我孩子的卫生保健上嘛

Uh if you still want to go you can go to India

如果你还想去你可以飞去印度

and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.

帮忙我老爸吃掉无法退钱的寿司啊

Indian sushi

印度寿司吗

I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.

光想到我都感觉内裤上喷了屎得换了

I really think we made the right decision.

我真觉得我与她的这决定是对的

Agreed although I did have

同意虽然我本来筹备好了

a pretty awesome bachelor party planned for this weekend.

在这周末举办一场永生难忘的单身汉派对

Really What was it

真的吗有什么节目

Well I used my NASA connections

我动用了我太空总署的关系

to get us four seats on that plane

弄到了4张能让人体验

that lets you experience weightlessness.

失重状态的飞机机票

The Vomit Comet. That is so cool.

呕吐彗星号吗太酷了吧

包机价约是16万5千美金

15段失重体验的机票大概是5000美金一人

I've always wanted to experience weightlessness.

我一直都很想体验失重状态

The closest I ever came was that time

我人生中最接近失重的一次情况

I accidentally set my scale to kilograms.

是我不小心把体重计从磅切成了公斤

他大约是136磅也就是62公斤

1磅是0.45公斤根据拉杰演员的体重资料

I know it would've been fun but hey

是啊本来应该会很好玩

the next time you decide to marry a woman you barely know.

没事你下次要娶不太熟的女人时还有机会

We could still go.

我们还是可以去啊

You know make it a guys' weekend.

就以好兄弟聚会的名义

Yeah. All right let's do it.

可以啊那我们就去吧

Great. It'll be like the good old days.

很好就像我们以前的黄金岁月

You mean when we were all sad desperate and horribly alone

你是指我们一票人又衰又饥渴还单身到死吗

I remember it more fondly.

我记忆的版本比较美好

Leonard if you had food on your face

莱纳德如果你脸上沾到吃的

would you want me to tell you

你会希望我告诉你吗

Where Did I get it

哪里我弄下来了吗

Oh no not now it was last week.

不是现在啦是上周有沾到过

I didn't know whether or not to tell you

我不知道到底该不该告诉你

but everyone was staring.

但当时大家都在盯着你看

For the record it was right there.

我就说一下当时是这里沾到

And it was Nutella.

沾到了榛果巧克力酱

Thanks.

谢谢你全家啊

You looked like a hazelnut Hitler.

你看起来像榛果希特勒

Hey who wants to hear some exciting news

谁想听听一个大好消息啊

Oh what's up

什么消息

This weekend I got us four seats on the Vomit Comet.

我给大家搞到了4张这周末上呕吐彗星号的票

Oh you lost me at "vomit " You lost me again at "comet "

"呕吐"就让我失去兴致 "彗星"二字又再失一次

and to be honest I was on the fence at "us."

而且说实话你说到"大家"时我就犹豫了

Yeah I can't go either. Penny's dad is visiting from Nebraska

我也去不了我岳父要从内布拉斯加来看我们

and I haven't seen him for a while.

我也有好一段时间没跟他见面了

Oh that's nice you guys get along.

你们能相处得来挺好的

I forget Howard does your father in law still hate you

霍华德我有点忘了你岳父还恨你吗

He doesn't hate me.

他才没有恨我

He's just disappointed

他只是有些失望

that I'm not any other man on the planet.

我不是这星球上任何一个别的男人

Tht's how I feel about Ben Affleck as Batman.

我对本·阿弗莱克演的蝙蝠侠也是这感觉

该知名演员所演的蝙蝠侠收到了颇多差评

Well these two are out.

这两个人不来

There goes our guys' weekend.

好兄弟聚会周末也没戏唱了

Okay so let's make it a couples' weekend.

那就改成情侣周末怎么样

I'll bring Anu you bring Bernadette.

我带安努你带伯纳黛特

I'm not sure Bernie would like it.

我不确定妮妮会不会喜欢

Maybe I'll invite Stuart or Bert.

或许我可以邀请斯图尔特或伯特

Oh go with Bert

邀请伯特吧

He's huge. It'd be fun to watch him float around.

他很魁梧看他漂浮起来应该挺有意思

Like that time the Underdog balloon

就像有一年梅西百货感恩节游行

got away at the Macy's Parade.

游行中的其中一个造型大气球飘走了一样

Hey. What are those

那些是什么啊

Oh vitamins.

维他命

Zack wants me to take them to increase my virility.

扎克想要我吃这些来提升生殖力

Zack used the word "virility"

扎克用了"生殖力"这词吗

He may have said "wiener power."

他可能用的词是"鸡鸡力"

Okay that's my dad.

我爸到了

Now remember do not bring up any baby stuff all right

记得千万别提任何宝宝的事情

Not me not wanting one not you having one with Zack.

别提我不想要孩子也别提你要帮扎克生

Got it. ‭And if he brings it up change the subject

-懂了 -如果他提起就换话题

to literally anything else. I got it.

-换任何话题都行 -懂了

But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.

但别提剥玉米人绝对别聊剥玉米人

Is that a sports team

那是体育队伍[当地橄榄球队]吗

Never mind you're good.

没事了你没问题

Daddy Hi. Hey Slugger.

-老爸 -你好啊小宝贝

Hey Wyatt. ‭Leonard.

-你好啊怀亚特 -莱纳德

Hey that's a hell of a handshake.

握手很有力呢

Ah well you know I've been taking vitamins.

你懂的我最近有在吃维他命

Dad uh come on in sit down.

老爸进来坐下吧

Can I get you something to drink Maybe a beer

要喝什么吗给你来瓶啤酒吗

Sure if you're having one. Okay.

-没问题你喝我就喝 -行

And why wouldn't you since you're not pregnant

你怎么会不喝呢你又没怀孕

Leonard wants to have a baby with my ex boyfriend Zack.

莱纳德想帮我前任扎克生孩子

How 'bout those Cornhuskers

剥玉米人队最近怎么样啦

Hey would you mind if Raj and I went away this weekend

你介意我这周末跟拉杰出去玩吗

Well it is important for you two to keep the spark alive.

你们俩保持爱情的火花的确挺重要

No just the bachelor party I had planned.

不是啦只是我当时帮他筹办了单身汉派对

I thought we'd do it anyway.

安都安排了就还是去玩嘛

Oh so a guys' weekend

那就是男人周末啦

Kinda. I mean Sheldon and Leonard couldn't make it

算是吧不过谢尔顿和莱纳德去不了

so Raj invited Anu and I asked Stuart.

所以拉杰邀请了安努我叫上了斯图尔特

Wait you invited Stuart before me

等等你先邀请斯图尔特而不是我吗

Actually I invited Bert before Stuart

其实我在斯图尔特前先邀请了伯特

but I don't know why I just told you that.

但我不知道自己为什么要告诉你

Why didn't you invite me

你为什么不邀请我

Because I know you.

因为我了解你啊

You don't want to float weightless in an airplane.

你才不想在飞机里失重漂浮呢

What are you talking about

你说什么蠢话啊

I love doing crazy stuff like that.

我可喜欢做那种疯狂事了

Bernie you got sick from the teacup ride at Disneyland.

妮妮你上次玩迪士尼的旋转茶杯都不舒服

Lots of people do.

很多人都会啊

We were still in line.

我们当时还在排队还没开始玩呢

So you don't want me to go

所以你不想我去吗

No I want you to go if you're gonna have fun.

不我想你去啊只要你能玩得开心

I don't want you to go if you're gonna be miserable

如果你到时一脸生无可恋扫了大家的兴

and ruin it for everyone.

我就不想你去了

Which is a long way of saying I want you to go

我绕了那么一大圈就是要说我想你去啊

I think this is going pretty good huh

我觉得进行得挺顺利的对吧

Maybe for you. You threw me under the bus.

对你来说也许吧你把我丢出去当替死鬼

Oh I'm sorry. I panicked. He was judging me.

对不起我慌了嘛他当时在怼我

Well yeah now he's judging me.

现在他把矛头指向我了

I know. It worked.

我知道我的妙计见效了

You two might want to talk louder or quieter.

你俩要么大声点要么小声点

In high school he could hear me open a can of beer

上高中那会我躲衣橱用毯子蒙头开啤酒

in my closet under a blanket.

他都能听见

So let me get this straight Leonard.

我把情况捋一捋莱纳德

She doesn't want to have your baby

她不想给你生孩子

but her dumbbell ex boyfriend does.

但她的傻蛋前男友想要你的孩子

Well I no I wouldn't say it like that.

我... 不我是不会这么说啦

How would you say it

那你会怎么说

Uh same words just less angry.

句子一样只是没那么大怒气

Well I don't know about Los Angeles

我不知道洛杉矶这里怎么样

but in Nebraska that's kind of strange.

但在内布拉斯加这种事挺奇怪的

It's strange here too and we have a bakery for dogs.

在这里也很奇怪这里还有给狗去的面包店呢

And you're okay with this

你对这事没意见吗

I support my husband. ‭ Thank you.

-我支持我的丈夫 -谢谢你

But you know if you think differently

但如果你有异议

you should feel free to say so.

你应该直接说出来的

You know just like "Ah " Make a scene.

大吼大叫掀翻屋顶那样

Okay look they can't have kids of their own

听我说他们自己生不出小孩

and they like that I'm smart

他们喜欢我很聪明这一点

and they want that for their child.

于是希望自己孩子能有这个优点

No I get it.

不我懂

You do

你懂

Sure.

当然

Back on the farm we had a prize stallion.

以前在农场我们有一匹获奖骏马

We didn't let that just go to waste we put him out to stud.

我们可没浪费它的优秀基因让它疯狂交配播种

No no this is... this is a little different than that...

不不这事这事有点不一样

No no hey hey hey hey hey hey.

不等等等等

Uh you were comparing me to a prize stud. Go on.

你刚把我比作一匹得奖骏马继续

You have fun with your new best buddy

你跟你的新死党玩得开心吗

Hey it's your fault your dad likes me.

你爸喜欢我都是你的错

You dated idiots your whole life.

谁让你以前交往的都是蠢蛋

Well he was right about one thing.

他倒是说对了一件事

I am married to a stud. ‭

我嫁给了一匹种马

Mm. Really

真的吗

Yeah I felt so bad about selling you out

真的我为出卖了你感到很内疚

I thought I would maybe make it up to you.

我想好好补偿你

Wait wait. I can't.

等一下不行

I mean I want to

我是很想啦

but I'm not supposed to for the next three days.

但我接下来三天都不应该"做"

Oh. That's right. I forgot.

对哦我忘了

All right well guess I'll just read a little

好吧那我只好看点书

and then I don't know go to sleep.

然后我也不知道去睡觉好了

Really That's what you're sleeping in

真的吗你就穿这身睡觉

Oh you want me to take it off

你希望我脱掉吗

No.

不

All right. Well then pipe down and let me read my comic book.

好吧那你闭嘴关"鸡" 让我安静看漫画吧

Penny I I know what you're doing.

佩妮我知道你在干什么

Just please stop.

拜托你停止吧

Ooh listen to this.

快听听这个

"Bam."

"砰"

"Pow."

"嘭"

"Take that Batman."

"接招吧蝙蝠侠"

Thanks again for doing this guys.

谢谢你们为我安排了这个

Of course. ‭ So excited.

-不客气 -我很期待

I'm glad you came.

你也来了真好

Howard made it sound like this wasn't your kind of thing.

听霍华德之前的语气这好像不是你的菜

He did say that but here I am.

他是那么说了但我来了

So what does he know

所以他知道个屁

I'm sorry. I just...

抱歉我只是

didn't think you'd enjoy plummeting to the Earth

以为你不会喜欢以时速643公里的速度

at 400 miles an hour.

垂直栽下地球

I love going fast

我很喜欢高速

unlike Grandma here

不像这位老奶奶

poking along at 70 miles an hour.

开车时速才112公里像蜗牛爬

Am I right

对不对

I've always wanted to do this.

我一直都想玩这个

I'm an adrenaline junkie.

我对肾上腺素有毒瘾

Roller coasters snowboarding

过山车单板滑雪

dating men who bathe with their dogs.

跟和自家狗狗一起洗澡的男人约会

It was during a drought.

那时干旱缺水嘛

I'm a thrill seeker too.

我也喜欢寻求刺激

I've had to pull back since I became a mom

当妈之后我不得不有所收敛

but I'll still jump on the back of a grocery cart

但我还是会跳上超市购物车

and just roll through the meat section.

一路风驰电掣滑过肉类区

And I'm married to her

而我娶了这位英雌

which is quite the ride.

所以我的人生也是充满刺激

Amy

艾米

There's something out here.

客厅里有个东西

Just trap it under a cup

用杯子把它罩住

and I'll be there in a minute.

我马上就来

I'll try but it's Leonard.

我尽力试试不过那是莱纳德

What

什么

Well what is he doing here

他怎么会在我们家

I told you if we left pizza on the counter

我说过了把披萨留在料理台上

we'd attract something.

就会引来其他生物

Oh hey guys.

早啊两位

Sorry. I used my key.

抱歉我用我钥匙进来的

I just needed a place to crash.

我需要找个地方借住

Is everything okay

没出什么事吧

Yeah I...

没事我...

had to get out of the apartment.

必须离开自家公寓

My wife kept trying to have sex with me.

我妻子一直想跟我上床

Been there.

我也经历过

Why are you trying to avoid having sex

你为什么不想上床

Well we just did it three weeks ago. ‭

我们三周前才做过啊

I was talking to Leonard

我是在问莱纳德

Well I I have to go to the clinic

我周一得去诊所

for Zack and Marissa on Monday

给扎克和玛丽莎提供"材料"

and I'm supposed to save myself until then.

在那之前我应该保存"精"力

Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.

听起来佩妮也许并不完全同意这个计划

Well she said she was.

她说她同意的

But she also said I looked dope.

但她也说过我看起来酷到炸裂

Honestly I don't even think I looked fly.

老实说我觉得自己连酷毙都算不上

So you're willing to go through with this

这么说即使她对这事持保留意见

even though she clearly has reservations

你还是执意去做吗

If she has a problem

如果她有不满

she should say something.

她应该说出来的

She tried to seduce you.

她都试图勾引你上床了

If that's not a cry for help

如果那不是求助的呐喊

I don't know what is.

我都不知道是什么了

Penny doesn't want to have kids.

佩妮不想生孩子

I respect that.

我尊重这一点

But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind.

但这是我留下自己血脉的机会

Okay but this isn't gonna make you a dad.

好吧但这不会让你成为父亲

It's gonna be their baby not yours.

那会是他们的孩子不是你的

Although someday

不过有一天

if that kid wants to know why he's short

如果那孩子想知道自己为什么个子矮

nearsighted and asthmatic...

近视还有哮喘

...he may hunt you down.

他可能会来找你

Are you guys ready for the most intense experience of your life

你们准备好迎接这辈子最激烈的体验了吗

Yes. Definitely.

-是的 -当然

Not to brag but I'm an astronaut

不是吹牛但我是宇航员

so I've been weightless before.

以前体验过失重

Can be pretty scary.

那可是相当可怕

Please I'm like 90 pounds.

拜托我才40公斤

I'm weightless every time I hold more than three balloons.

每次拿着三个以上气球就能体验失重

Okay I just need you guys to sign these waivers

好的我只是需要你们签免责书

and then you can go get changed.

然后就可以换衣服了

There are a lot of pages here.

好多页啊

Is this a waiver or a screenplay you've been working on

这是免责书还是你写的剧本

I'm sure it's just boilerplate.

我相信只是标准版本

Absolutely. It's to protect us in case of injury.

当然只是在你们万一受伤的情况下我们能免责

It says "or death."

上面写着"或死亡"

Which is awesome.

那就太屌啦

Done. Where are the changing rooms

-签好了 -更衣室在哪里

Dressing rooms are in the back.

更衣室在后面

No peeking.

不准偷看

Here you go.

给你

Okay. Should we go get changed

好了要去换衣服吗

Yeah. Hang on a second.

是稍等

What

怎么了

Just I have two babies at home.

我家里有两个孩子

What am I doing

我在干嘛

If you don't want to do this

如果你不想要玩

then why'd you come

为什么要来

To prove to Howard that he doesn't know me as well

向霍华德证明他并不像他以为的

as he thinks he does.

那样了解我

Looks like he does.

看来他很了解

Unless I do it and then he doesn't.

除非我做到了那他就不了解我

Why not just be honest

为什么不说实话呢

You're right.

你是对的

I should be honest.

我应该说实话

You owe me $3 000 for those plane tickets to India

你欠我3千块去印度的机票钱

That was a long run.

你去跑了好久

Yeah. Well I was in the zone.

是啊我本来专心在跑

You know and then in a diner

然后去了小餐馆

and then in a massage chair at the mall where I fell asleep.

然后是商场里的按摩椅结果我睡着了

Are you avoiding me

你在避开我吗

Well I took a nap next to Hot Dog on a Stick.

我在热狗店旁边小睡了一会儿

What do you think

你觉得呢

I think you're mad at me and Leonard

我觉得你是气我和莱纳德

but maybe... you're really mad at yourself.

但也许你是生你自己的气

Why would I be mad at myself

我为什么生自己的气

'Cause you regret this "No baby" plan of yours.

因为你后悔你不要孩子的计划

You know it's pretty crappy of you

你这样真是太讨厌了

to make me feel bad about this.

让我觉得难受

I'm not trying to make you feel bad.

我不是想让你难受

But... do you

但是你难受吗

Yes.

是的

I feel like I'm letting everybody down.

我觉得自己让所有人失望了

Hate disappointing Leonard

我讨厌让莱纳德失望

but I really hate disappointing you.

但我真心讨厌让你失望

Oh Slugger you could never disappoint me.

孩子你永远不会让我失望

Okay your high school years were a little rough.

好吧你高中那几年我比较难熬

And I'm sorry about that.

我很抱歉

There was you sneaking out at night

你晚上偷偷溜出去

and your boyfriends sneaking out in the morning.

你男友早上偷偷溜出去

I said sorry.

我道歉了

That time you got drunk and stole a horse.

还有一次你喝醉了偷了一匹马

Yeah.

是

I was there. I remember.

我在场我记得

Parts of it.

部分记得

But besides all that

但除开这些

being your dad is the best thing ever happened to me.

做你父亲是我人生中最幸福的事

What about Randall and Lisa

那么兰德尔和丽莎呢

They're okay.

他们还行

I just don't want you to miss out.

我只是不希望你错过什么

I know.

我知道

But if this is really what you want

但如果这是你真心想要的

or don't want

或不要的

I'm on your side.

我支持你

Thanks.

谢谢

Uh Wyatt we need to talk.

怀亚特我们得谈谈

Sure. What's up

好什么事

I want you to back off.

我希望你别插手

You know I If Penny and I don't have kids that's between us.

如果佩妮和我不要孩子那是我们的事

So you need to stay out of it.

所以你不要插手

Oh Leonard it's okay. We talked. We're good.

莱纳德没事了我们谈过了没事了

Okay you could've stopped me sooner.

你可以早点让我闭嘴

Could've let you go longer.

也可以让你继续说下去

You did great Leonard. Very forceful.

表现不错莱纳德很有力度

Yeah

是吗

I I I felt like my voice was a little shaky there.

我觉得我刚才声音有点抖

Hey I decided to not go through

我决定不帮

with this Zack and Marissa thing.

扎克和玛丽萨了

Really

真的吗

But you were so excited about it. ‭I know.

-但你那么期待 -我知道

But um...

但是

I think I was just fooling myself.

我觉得我只是在骗自己

I I would be heartbroken if I had a kid out there

如果外面有我的孩子而我不是他的父亲

and I wasn't his dad.

我会伤心死的

I know you would.

我知道你会的

Yeah.

是的

So that thing you wanted to do last night

昨晚你想做的事

I'm available.

我现在能做了

I got real good hearing there stud.

我的听力非常好种马

All right everyone's suited up.

好了大家换好衣服了

Let's head out to the tarmac

我们去跑道

Actually one second.

稍等

Howie I don't think I should do this.

华仔我不应该这样做

Really

是吗

Well I did not see that coming.

我完全没想到会是这样

Just We have kids

只是我们有孩子

and it's not smart to put us both in danger.

我们两人同时面对危险不明智

That's a good point.

有道理

When I was little my parents never flew together.

我小时候父母从来不一起坐飞机

We thought it was because they loved us

原以为那是因为他们爱我们

but it turns out they hated each other.

结果是因为他们憎恨彼此

See

瞧

I just think I shouldn't go.

我觉得我不应该去

Actually this is much safer than driving a car.

其实这比开车还要安全

Stay out of it flyboy

滚一边儿去飞行员

You're right.

你说得对

But I've done this before.

我以前体验过

And since you really really want to go

既然你这么这么想去

I'll stay here.

我留在这里

Oh. Great.

很好

Unless you don't want to because I was right and I do know you.

除非你不想去那我就是对的我了解你

Well if you really know me

如果你真了解我

then you know how far I'll go to prove a point.

你会知道我为了证明一件事能有多拼

‭Apparently 34 000 feet that way then straight back down

能拼到飞上3万4千英尺的程度再直接冲下来

up and down over and over again

不停地上上下下

until you throw up food you didn't even eat.

直到你把没吃的东西吐出来

They are definitely your weirdest friends.

他们绝对是你最奇怪的朋友

If only that were true.

要是真这样就好了

I hate this so much

我恨死这个了

Why am I doing this

我为什么要这样做

To prove a stupid point to your husband

为了向你老公证明一个愚蠢的观点

Oh right. Worth it.

对值了

Hey Zack.

扎克

Um look I I know this is gonna be disappointing

听我说我知道你会失望

but um I I can't do this.

但我做不到

No no no no.

不不不

I I I know how. I just can't.

我知道怎么"做" 就是做不到

But hey look

但是

i if you like

如果你愿意

I I know someone who might be interested.

我知道谁可能有兴趣

No Absolutely not

不绝对不行

I'm sorry but my wife said I'm not allowed.

对不起我老婆不准我这样做

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