生活大爆炸-S04E18_生活大爆炸

S01

Morning.

早啊

Morning.

早

Sleep okay

睡得好吗

Mm hmm. Great.

挺好的

Hey can I ask you something

我能问你点儿事儿吗

Sure.

问吧

Last night me wanting to try that stuff out

昨晚我想尝试《性爱宝典》

of the Kama Sutra

里面的那招

was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive

你是觉得有意思呢还是觉得有种族歧视

Yeah just because you're in bed with an Indian woman

就因为你和一位印度女人同床共枕

you think that gives you permission

你就觉得可以

to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual

使用古印度性爱手册里的狂野体位了吗

Hey if you can find a book called

喂你要是能找到一本

Weird Sex With White Boys I'd be okay with that.

《与白人男孩儿的诡异性爱》我也没意见

No no you have such beautiful eyes.

别戴你的眼睛这么美

Have you ever thought about getting contacts

你考虑过戴隐形眼镜吗

I tried in the seventh grade.

我七年级的时候试过

I could never get used to them.

总是戴不习惯

Oh that's too bad.

真是可惜

Yeah if I had contacts I would have been

对啊要是我戴上隐形眼镜我肯定就是

the coolest debate club president

史上最酷的被关在

ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.

自己大提琴箱里的辩论俱乐部主席了

If you had them on now

你要是现在戴上

you could see what we're going to do next.

就能看见咱们接下来要做啥了

Th that's okay. I can infer from context.

没没关系的我可以脑补的

Hey Raj wanna see a new magic trick I've been working on

嗨拉杰想见识一下我最近练的小魔术吗

Howard if I may interject here

霍华德容我插句嘴

with a piece of friendly advice.

给你一条友情建议

Is working on magic tricks

难道你的人生

really how you want to spend your time

就指着这些魔术小把戏了吗

Granted you're just an engineer but...

我知道你只是个工程师但是

that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw

这并不意味着你不会某天做出一个小把戏

or a thingamabob that may get you a "thank you"

或者小玩意儿能让别人在诺贝尔奖的

in someone else's Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

获奖演说里送你一句"感谢某人"呀

Is the trick making him disappear

你这魔术能把他变没了吗

Sure let's see it.

好吧咱们看看吧

Here shuffle these.

给洗一下牌

Okay.

好

Now spread them out on the table face down.

正面朝下摊在桌子上

挑一张看一眼

Okay.

好的

Now remember your card put it back in the deck.

记住这张牌再把它放回去

Is it any wonder he doesn't have a doctorate

知道为啥他拿不到博士学位了吧

Remind me what's your birthday

提醒我一下你生日是哪天

October sixth.

10月6号

Okay October is the tenth month.

好的 10月是第10个月份

So ten one plus zero is one plus six is seven.

那么10 1加0等于1 1加6等于7

Turn over the seventh card.

翻开第7张牌

How about that

我勒个去!

Is that your card

是你选的那张牌吗

Yes it is. Very cool

对没错真厉害

It's not cool.

一点都不厉害

It's a childish trick designed

只是个简单的用来

to confuse and intrigue simpletons.

戏弄傻瓜的小把戏而已

How'd you do it

你是咋弄的

A magician never reveals his secrets.

魔术师是不会透露他的秘密的

But surely a future Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.

但未来的诺奖得主肯定能搞明白的

Fine.

好啊

Give me a second.

让我想想

You ever notice when he thinks real hard it smells like bacon

你有没有注意到每次他认真思考时都会散发培根的味道

Oh hey Sorry Oop

-喂 -不好意思

Sorry Pardon me

抱歉抱歉

Oh I'm so sorry

真不好意思

Oh that was my fault.

都怪我

Check it out.

看吧

I just got contacts.

我戴隐形了

One two

一二

three four five.

三四五

No way.

不可能吧

That's your card right

这张牌就是你挑的对吧

Seven of clubs

草花7

That is amazing

太神奇了

It's not amazing.

一点都不神奇

All magic tricks are merely a combination

魔术小把戏都离不开

of manipulation and misdirection

操纵和误导的窠臼

with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet.

有时候还会有侏儒藏在箱子里晃腿

Oh really So how did I do it

哦真的吗那我是怎么做到的

I don't care how you did it.

我才不在乎你是怎么做到的

I have more important things to think about.

有更重要的问题等着我思考

Clearly the cards are marked.

显然这些牌上都是有记号的

I thought you had more important things to think about.

我以为你在思考更重要的事儿呢

I do. You just happened

没错你恰好

to have caught me on a break.

碰见我休息了

Oh let me see those cards.

让我看看这些牌

Big deal. Not knowing

有啥大不了的不知道

is part of the fun.

才有乐趣啊

"Not knowing is part of the fun."

"不知道才有乐趣啊"

Was that the motto of your community college

这是你们社区大学的校训吗

Hey guys what do you think

各位你们觉得咋样

Priya took me clothes shopping.

普丽娅带我去买衣服了

Hey you look great.

哇看起来真不错

Good for you Priya.

干得好普丽娅

I could never get that stupid hoodie off him

我怎么样都没法让他不穿那件难看的帽衫

when we were...

在我俩还那啥的时候

Well you look great.

额你看起来好帅

Thank you.

多谢

Let's go hang everything up.

咱去把衣服都挂起来吧

Yeah good.

嗯好

New contacts.

新隐形眼镜

I should have done this years ago.

我该早几年戴的

So you finally getting used to them doing it on a daily basis

这么说你终于习惯他俩每天都这样了

I'm not going out with him.

我已经不和他在一起了

He can sleep with whoever he wants.

他想跟谁上床都无所谓

Yeah I was talking to Raj.

我在和拉杰说话呢

Oopsy.

啊哦

This deck is rigged in some fashion.

这副牌肯定做了手脚

Fine. Get another deck

好吧换一副牌

and I'll do the trick with that.

我照样能变给你看

So you're saying this is a regulation deck

你是说这是一副正常的牌吗

I'm saying believe in magic you muggle.

我是说要相信魔法你个麻瓜

You know well I'm happy Leonard's found someone.

我很高兴莱纳德找到了女友

Not that anybody asked.

虽然没人问起这个

How many Star Trek uniforms do you have

你有多少件星际迷航的制服

Just two

就两件

everyday and dress.

常服和礼服各一

Listen we need to talk about something.

我们得谈谈

Oh my God you're breaking up with me

天哪你是要跟我分手

Why would you take me out shopping

为什么要带我去买衣服

and then break up with me That is so cruel

然后跟我分手那太残忍了

Leonard I'm not breaking up with you.

莱纳德我不是要跟你分手

Oh okay.

哦好吧

So what's up

那你要谈什么

It's a little weird

我就觉得怪怪的

your ex girlfriend hanging out here all the time.

你前女友一天到晚在这玩

I know.

我知道

I usually never see my ex girlfriends

我通常跟前女友老死不相往来

unless their hard drives crash.

除非她们的硬盘崩溃

I'm just saying how would you feel

我只是说要是我整天

if I was hanging out with my ex boyfriend

跟前男友混在一块你觉得怎样

Um not great I guess.

不怎么好我想

But Penny and I are just friends.

但我和佩妮现在只是朋友

I don't care.

我不管

This is a woman you have slept with.

她曾跟你上过床

If you want her around

要是你仍想她在眼前晃

then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on.

那我不得不认为你仍对她旧情难忘

No no no no I'm ready

不不不我忘了

I gave up the gift of sight for you.

我都为了你宁愿目不能视

If that's not moving on what is

这还不算忘了旧情算什么

You need to cut the cord with Penny.

我想让你跟佩妮彻底断了

Oh... okay.

哦好的

You don't sound very confident.

你好像不是很有信心

No no I'm confident.

不不我很有信心

Its not like I'm unfamiliar with the "get lost" conversation.

我很清楚什么叫"我要跟你一刀两断"

Although this will be the first time I'll be the one saying it.

虽然这是第一次我跟人这么说

Thank you.

谢谢你

I appreciate it. Sure.

-我很感激 -应该的

Oh God you smell so good.

天哪你真香

Of course that could just be

当然也有可能是

my other senses getting stronger.

我其他感官更加灵敏了

(《星际迷航》角色女性)

Hypothetically if I had access

假设我能弄到

to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform would you wear it

一件乌胡拉中尉的制服你会穿吗

Leonard it's a source of great pain to me and my family

莱纳德这是我和我家人莫大的痛苦

that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe.

因为我哥衣柜居然有这一套行头

Can we not discuss it

能不讨论这个吗

I'm sorry. Never mind.

抱歉别介意

And was your card the jack of diamonds

你之前拿的牌就是方块J吗

Oh unbelievable

难以置信

Know how he did it yet

知道他怎么做到的了吗

Aw he has the same look my little nephew gets

嗷他跟我小侄子一个表情

when he can't figure out how I got his nose.

他想不通为何我鼻子跟他一样时就这样

You know I have some remedial magic tricks

我还有几个治愈系的小魔术

that might be more your speed.

可能更适合你

Like ooh look

比如快看

The pencil's rubber

看这铅笔上的橡皮

Hey I think I know how you did the card trick.

我想我知道你怎么变的了

Oh please if I don't know you don't know.

拜托我都不明白你怎么可能知道

That's axiomatic.

这是不言自明的

Come here.

我说给你听

You're right.

还真给你说对了

Not too bad for someone

对一个不知道什么叫

who doesn't know what "axiomatic" means.

"不言自明"的人来说还真不赖

What happened with the contacts

你的隐形眼镜呢

One of them's upstairs.

一个在楼上

The other one sort of slipped back into my skull.

另一个好像已经跑脑袋里了

Hey is that one of the new shirts Priya got you

这是普丽娅给你买的新衬衫吗

Yeah.

对

You don't wanna wash that.

可不能这么洗

No No that's silk.

-不能吗 -不能这是丝织品

Seriously what would you do without me

老实说没有我你可怎么办哦

Yeah.

是啊

You know I gotta tell you I think

我不得不说我觉得

you got a real winner with Priya. Yeah me too.

-你找上普丽娅真是太幸运了 -我也这么想

She seems really sweet.

她真是太可爱了

Believe me you do not want to take that for granted.

相信我你可不能觉得理所当然

There are a lot of bitches out there.

外面可有大堆大堆的婊子

Yeah bitches are the worst.

是啊找个婊子可就太糟了

All right I'll see you later.

好了回见

Uh Penny there's something I have to tell you.

佩妮我有事想跟你说

What

什么

Okay uh how do I put this

好吧怎么说呢

Um... are you familiar with Darwin's observation

你了解达尔文在加拉帕戈斯群岛

of the finches in the Galapagos Islands

考察雀类时的观察法吗

Did they make a movie about it

有拍电影出来吗

No.

没有

Then no.

那我不了解

All right well anyway Darwin observed that when two groups

好吧达尔文观察到当两组雀类

of finches competed over the same food source

去竞争同一种食物来源

eventually one of them would evolve a different beak shape

最终其中一种会进化出不同的鸟嘴

so they could feed on something else.

从而能以别的东西为食

Okay.

好吧

So what do you think we can learn from that behavior

你觉得我们可以从该行为中学到什么

that we can apply to our own lives

可以运用于自己生活中的

Uh a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

一鸟在手胜过二鸟在林?

Sure that has birds in it.

当然这话里也有鸟

It's fun talking to you Leonard I always learn stuff.

跟你说话真有趣莱纳德总学得到东西

I'm sorry but I'm gonna count that.

抱歉那就算你答应了

Do you really have to wear that in bed

你睡觉的时候一定要戴这玩意吗

Yeah. The doctor didn't want me to rub my eye during the night.

对呀医生怕我睡着之后揉眼睛

It was either this or one of those giant neck cones.

不戴这个就要戴那种超大的锥形颈圈

So did you get to talk to Penny

你跟佩妮谈过了吗

Oh yes. Indeed I did.

谈了真的谈了

And

结果呢

She completely understood everything I said.

她毫无保留地欣然接受了

Case closed.

妥妥儿的

Was she upset

她生气了吗

Maybe but that's not my problem.

也许吧不过与我无关

She's not my girlfriend you are.

她不是我女朋友你才是

I hope you weren't cruel to her.

不要对她太残忍

Is the autumn cruel for letting the flowers die

那让繁花凋零的到底是秋天的残忍

or is that just nature's way

还是自然法则呢

Leonard Leonard Leonard

莱纳德莱纳德莱纳德

What

干嘛

I think I figured out Wolowitz's magic trick

我参透沃罗威茨的小魔术了

and I need you to pick a card.

我需要你来选一张牌

I am not opening that door Sheldon

我不会给你开门的谢尔顿

As you wish.

如你所愿

Pick a card put it back

选一张牌放回去

and prepare to be amazed.

接下来就是见证奇迹的时刻

Did you pick one

选好了吗

Yep.

好了

Is this your card

这是你选的牌吗

Nope.

不是

Drat.

我去

Is this your card

这张呢

No.

不是

I'll be right back.

我去去就回

Pick a card Sheldon.

选一张牌谢尔顿

Now look at it and put it back in the deck.

瞟一眼然后放回去

Now do you remember your card

记住牌面了吗

Of course I do I have an eidetic memory.

搞笑呢吧哥的记忆力不是讲笑的

My apologies.

我的错

Now shuffle the cards.

现在洗一下牌

Shuffling.

接着洗

Wait here.

等我一下

Processing image cross referencing...

图像处理交叉引证

Whatcha doin'

忙什么呢

I'm reverse engineering Wolowitz's magic trick.

我在对沃罗威茨的小魔术进行逆向分析

What's up with the infrared cameras

红外摄像机能派上什么用场

I'm measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards

通过对扑克牌余热等级的测量

to determine which one's been touched.

可以确定哪张牌被摸过了

By the way

顺便提醒一下

if you hope to have children

如果你打算要小宝宝的话

I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers.

我建议你把三角小内内换成四角的

Your testicles look a tad warm.

你的蛋蛋看上去温度略高

Holy crap are you connected

我勒个去别告诉我你进入了

to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory

国立橡树岭研究所的系统

Yes. I'm using their Cray supercomputer

没错我正在用他们的克雷超级电脑

to analyze shuffling patterns.

分析洗牌的模式

Sheldon that computer is used for national defense.

谢尔顿那台电脑是供国防部使用的

Hacking into it is a federal crime.

黑进去相当于刑事犯罪

Relax we're not under attack right now.

别紧张现在又没人跟咱们打仗

Okay I'm leaving before the black helicopters get here.

趁军方直升机没来之前我先出去躲躲

And is this my card

这张会是我的牌吗

Rats

大爷的

I wonder if Howard used a radioactive tracer.

我怀疑霍华德用了放射性指示剂

Where am I going to find uranium 235 this time of night

这么晚了我上哪弄铀-235去啊

Come on CraigsList.

给力吧 Craigslist

(Craigslist 一个网上大型免费分类广告网站)

Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant

带你来印度餐厅算是种族歧视吗

It's okay I like Indian food.

没关系我喜欢印度菜

Or as you probably call it back home "food."

或者你可以宾至如归地称它为"菜"

Why didn't you wear your contacts

你为什么不戴隐形眼镜了

Don't you like them

不喜欢吗

No no I do.

不不我喜欢

It's just I knew I was having curry tonight

只是我知道今晚要吃咖喱

and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time.

一个部位的灼痛就够我应付的了

You know...

知道吗

...my company offered me a position here in Los Angeles.

公司向我提供了一个职位就在洛杉矶

Does that mean you'd relocate here permanently

那意味着你会在这里定居了吗

Maybe. What do you think

也许吧你觉得怎样

I love it.

双手赞成

That's great

太棒了

吃着呢

Hi Just hang on.

等我一下

Small world.

世界真小啊

You did talk to her didn't you

你根本没跟她谈过对吧

Of course I did. I talked and talked and talked.

当然谈了我跟她谈啊谈啊谈啊的

Hey Look at Leonard in his fancy ass grownup clothes.

莱纳德瞧你这一身像模像样的成年人打扮

Way to go Priya. For once he doesn't look

有你的普丽娅这是他第一次

like a mannequin in the boys' department.

打扮得不像男孩服装部的模特

Hey did he

他有没有告诉你

tell you I saved the silk shirt

我挽救了那件真丝衬衫

No he did not.

没有啊

He was gonna throw it in the washing machine

他当时正准备把它扔进洗衣机

with his Spiderman underwear.

和他的蜘蛛侠小内内一起洗呢

That's our Lenny huh

这就是咱家莱尼哈

Yes that's our Lenny.

对这就是咱家莱尼

So how's the food here

这里的东西好吃吗

Oh wow that is really really good.

这个真的非常非常好吃

Oh I'm sorry. You guys are on a date.

抱歉你们俩约着会呢

We can hang out anytime. Have fun.

咱们有空再聚吃好喝好

Bye. Good night.

拜拜晚安

Oh that's hot hot hot hot

辣死了辣死了辣死了

Whoo I really sneaks up on ya huh

是不是有被我盯梢的感觉

All right I gotta go.

好了我消失

It is pretty spicy.

这个真的很辣

Oh I've been meaning to tell you

我一直想告诉你来着

I figured out your magic trick.

你的小魔术我弄明白了

Really

真的吗

Oh yes.

那当然

In fact I improved upon it.

而且我还进行了改进

I'd love to see that.

我很期待啊

How about you Raj

你呢拉杰

Beefaroni and a show

边吃牛肉通心粉边看表演

How do you turn that down

怎么可能拒绝呢

All right.

看好咯

Pick a card.

选张牌

Okay.

好的

Bippity boppity boo.

天灵灵地灵灵扑克牌快显灵

What's with the wand and the beep

你拿根小黑棒哔一下是什么意思

The wand is called showmanship

小黑棒是用来凸显我的表演能力

and the beep is none of your business.

那哔的一声则不关你事

Oh Excuse me.

抱歉

I'm getting a text message

我刚收到一则

completely unrelated to this magic trick.

跟这魔术没半点关系的短信

Oh look my dry cleaning's ready.

我的衣服干洗完了

And your card was the five of spades.

你手里那张牌是黑桃5

Ta da.

看吧

These cards have barcodes on them.

这些牌上有条形码

The wand is a reader.

那根小黑棒是读码器

It's transmitting to your phone.

能把信息传送到你手机上

I said "ta da."

我刚说了 "看吧"

Show's over.

看完就得了

That's pathetic.

这也太悲剧了

Let me show you how a real magician does it.

哥给你演示一下真正的魔术师是怎么做的

Raj take a card.

拉杰选张牌

Don't let me see it.

不要让我看见

Okay.

好的

Three of clubs.

梅花3

Son of a gun

真他妈给力

you're blowing my mind

大师果然是大师

Bippity boppity boo yah

天灵灵地灵灵大师给你来显灵

That does it. I'm getting uranium.

我受够了我要去搞点铀

You ever gonna tell him

你打算告诉他吗

Maybe. When it stops being fun.

或许吧等哪天玩腻了再说

So never.

那就是永远也不说咯

Oh hey I was just on my way to work.

我刚准备去上班

Oh okay its not important.

没事这事不重要

It can wait.

以后再说吧

No it's all right. Walk me down.

没关系边下楼边说吧

So what's up

什么事

Uh I kind of have a problem

我遇到一个难题

I was hoping you could help me with.

希望你能帮我解决

Sure anything.

当然尽管说吧

Move out.

搬出去

What

什么

Not far.

不用搬太远

Hey if you ever wanna start a family

如果你想组建家庭

La Canada has some great schools.

拉肯纳达那边有一些不错的学校[美国加州]

Okay I'm not moving anywhere.

够了我哪儿也不去

What the hell is this all about

这到底是因为什么

Why does it have to be about anything

为什么就一定要有原因吗

Can't a fella ask his buddy to relocate

一个人请求他的伙伴搬家

no questions asked

就不能毫无疑问地走吗

Oh for God's sake Leonard

看在上帝的份上莱纳德

this is about Priya isn't it

这是因为普丽娅对吗

She doesn't want me hanging out with you.

她不想我老跟你一起玩

Yes. There I said it.

对就是这句我终于说出口了

Okay look.

好吧听着

I happen to like your girlfriend.

我碰巧喜欢你的女朋友

And she likes you.

她也喜欢你

No she doesn't.

不她不喜欢我

Not really no.

是不怎么喜欢

It doesn't matter. Look I promise from now on

没关系我保证从今以后

I will keep my distance from you.

我会跟你保持距离

Well now hold on.

呃先等等

What kind of distance are we talking about

你说的距离是指哪种

Because we are neighbors.

因为我们是邻居

I mean I can hear the toilet flush in your apartment.

我可是那种能听见你公寓马桶冲水声的邻居

You can hear my toilet flush

你还能听见我的马桶冲水声

I don't listen for it but it's nice to know

我不是故意去听不过很高兴知道

everything's okay with your plumbing.

你的排水管道一切都好

The building's plumbing.

还有这栋楼的排水管道

Leonard I get it.

莱纳德我懂的

You're in a new relationship now.

你现在处于一段新的恋爱

And I'm happy for you.

我为你感到高兴

So why don't we just shake hands and part friends

为什么我们不能握个手好聚好散呢

Well now hold on.

呃先等等

How about this

这样如何

How about we still hang out but on the down low

我们还可以一起玩不过是地下的

Are you really that kind of guy

你真的是那种人吗

No.

不是

I actually felt kinda silly just saying "on the down low."

其实当我说出"地下"这词儿的时候我觉得有点犯傻

Good bye Leonard.

再见莱纳德

Penny wait.

佩妮等等

Damn contacts.

去你的隐形眼镜

Incoming.

他来了

Hi Hey

-嗨 -嘿

Hello.

你们好

Why so glum chum

为什么这么闷闷不乐哥们儿

Apparently you can't hack into a government supercomputer

显然你不能在美国国家安全局

and then try to buy uranium

给你妈妈打小报告的情况下

without the Department of Homeland Security tattling

入侵政府的超级电脑

to your mother.

还试图在上面买铀

Oh that's too bad.

这真是太糟糕了

Figure out the magic trick yet

想明白这魔术的原理了吗

Figure out the magic trick yet

想明白这狗屁魔术的原理了吗

Want me to tell you how to do it

要我来告诉你怎么做到的吗

No.

不用

I'll show you one more time.

哥再给你耍一次

Raj

拉杰

Hang on.

慢着

This time do it with me

这次由我来抽牌

so I can make sure there's no monkey business.

这样我才能确保其中没有猫腻

All right.

好的

Two of hearts. I hate you.

-红桃2 -我恨你

Yeah he's gonna win the Nobel Prize.

这样下去诺贝尔奖非他莫属

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