生活大爆炸-S06E10_生活大爆炸

S01

Is anyone else troubled by the Spider Man theme song

你们有人觉得蜘蛛侠的主题曲很闹心吗

Why would it trouble you

那首怎么会让你闹心啊

It's like your third favorite cartoon theme song.

那不是你第三喜爱的卡通主题曲吗

It is right behind

的确是就排在

Do do do do do Inspector Gadget...

嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟 G型神探

and... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

以及忍者神龟

Heroes in a half shell

背有龟壳大英雄

Turtle power

忍者龟力量

However the Spider Man lyrics posit that "Spider Man

但蜘蛛侠的歌词却唱 "蜘蛛侠

Spider Man does whatever a spider can."

蜘蛛侠蜘蛛能做的他都能"

Yeah so

那又如何

I can think of many things Spider Man can't do

但我能想到一堆蜘蛛能做到

that a spider can.

而他不能的事

One crawl in your ear and die.

一爬进你耳朵死在里面

Two legally leave Guatemala without a passport.

二不出示护照也能合法离开危地马拉

Three have sex with a spider.

三跟母蜘蛛做爱

Can we change the subject

我们能换一个话题吗

Spiders give me the jeebie jeebies.

人家铁汉怕怕蜘蛛

It's "heebie jeebies."

是铁汉"犹怕"蜘蛛

I know but that sounds anti Semitic.

有个"犹"字感觉歧视犹太人

Anyway I was thinking we could have a little film festival tonight.

我是在想我们今晚可以来个小电影节

The theme movies that killed their franchises.

主题把系列搞臭的电影

Like Jaws 4 Indiana Jones 4 Daredevil 1.

例如《大白鲨4》《印第安纳琼斯4》《超胆侠1》

Miss Congeniality 2 Armed and Fabulous.

还有《特工佳丽2 火爆特工》

I mean you know a movie's bad

连我的宝贝桑德拉·布洛克都救不起

when my homegirl Sandy B. can't save it.

你就知道这烂片有多烂了

Penny's working tonight I'm in.

佩妮今晚要工作我参加

Not me. I'm having dinner

我不行我得跟伯纳黛特

with Bernadette and her parents.

还有她父母共进晚餐

Fun. We know how much you love that.

有意思我们都知道你多"爱"这档事

It's torture.

太折磨我了

Especially with her dad.

尤其是跟她爸相处

We have nothing in common.

我们没有任何共同点

You know what I like to do when I'm forced to speak

当我被逼着跟智商低我太多的人聊天时

with those beneath my intellectual station

你知道我都怎么做吗

I bring up an interesting topic

我会提出一个有趣的话题

like the difference between Spider Man and spiders.

例如蜘蛛侠与蜘蛛的差别

Thanks Sheldon.

谢谢你啊谢尔顿

I'll try that with my father in law.

我到时再跟我岳父试试

No you can't use that one. That's mine.

你不许用这话题这是我的招

Uh try this one for an ice breaker.

试试用这个话题暖场吧

Uh despite popular lore there is no place

尽管坊间许多谣传事实上

in the continental United States Alaska or Hawaii

无论从美国本土阿拉斯加还是夏威夷

from which one can dig straight through the center of the earth

你都不可能垂直挖出一条能贯穿地球

and come up in China.

穿到中国的通道

Great thank you.

很好谢谢啦

Actually you can't have that one either.

不行这个你也不许用

It's too good. Sorry.

这也是个好话题抱歉啦

What about you Sheldon

你呢谢尔顿

Do you have any plans tonight

今晚有任何安排吗

Sadly yes.

很遗憾我有呢

Amy's taking me to a memorial service.

艾米要拉我去参加一个丧礼

It's for one of her colleagues who is of Asian descent

是她一个有亚洲血统的同事丧礼

so my planned conversational gambit is to casually remark that

所以我聊天时就打算不经意地提到

no matter how deep they dig his grave

无论他们从那人的坟挖多深下去

he'll never make his way back to China.

他永远也回不到中国

That should lighten the mood.

这应该能让气氛"轻松不少"啊

What can I say

哥就是厉害

I put the "fun" in funeral.

总能把丧事变喜事

第六季第十集

生活大爆炸

Amy. Amy.

艾米艾米

Oh right funeral.

忘了是要去丧礼

Amy.

艾米

Hello Sheldon.

你来啦谢尔顿

I'm not allowed to wear my Silver Surfer neck tie

我想打银影侠的领带都不行

but you can wear a bathrobe

你却可以穿浴袍啊

I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral.

我病得太厉害去不了了

You're sick

你病啦

You poor kid.

真可怜

Well see ya.

那我走啦

Sheldon aren't you gonna take care of me

谢尔顿你不留下来照顾我吗

Me No.

我吗不啊

No I'm not that kind of doctor.

我是"博士生"不是"医生"

But our relationship agreement clearly states

但是我们的恋爱合同中明确写道

that when one of us is sick the other must take care of them.

其中一人若是病了另一方就得照顾对方

Oh I see the confusion.

我明白你的疑惑

No the intent behind that clause

那个条款的用意是要

was to force you to take care of me when I'm ill.

强迫你在我生病的时候照顾我

When you're feeling better you'll think that's funny.

等你身体好点就能理解箇中幽默了

Never mind. Good night Sheldon.

算了晚安吧谢尔顿

Amy. Amy. Amy.

艾米艾米艾米

I made a commitment in writing

我曾白纸黑字地同意过

to comfort you in times like this.

要在这样的情况下照顾你

Additionally you are my girlfriend

而且你也是我女朋友

and I care about your well being.

我在乎你的幸福安康

Thank you Sheldon.

谢尔顿谢谢你

You're welcome.

不客气

Now let's get this over with.

那咱们速战速决吧

So how have you been

近来如何

Fine.

还行

Good.

不错

Fine is good.

还行就不错了

How you liking retirement

还享受退休生活吗

It's fine.

还行啦

I'm sensing a theme.

这让我想到

You ever really think about the Spider Man theme song

您认真想过蜘蛛侠的主题曲内容吗

How's that dinner coming

晚餐做得如何了

I just put it in. It's gonna be a while.

刚放进去烤还得好一阵呢

I like rare chicken.

我就爱吃生鸡肉

Let's do this.

咱们来大快朵颐吧

You could die.

会吃死人的

Death by chicken.

吃鸡吃死

That's a pretty "fowl" way to go.

挺"鸟"的一种死法啊

Here's another beer honey.

再给你来瓶啤酒亲爱的

Thank you.

谢谢

So Mrs. Rostenkowski

罗斯滕科斯基太太

you took that trip to the Grand Canyon.

听说你去大峡谷国家公园玩了

How was it

好玩吗

It was good.

好玩

Had no idea you were the chatty one.

才意识到原来您是健谈的那个

102.2.

102.2华氏度[39度]

Exactly what it was half an hour ago.

跟半小时前一模一样

It's like you're not even trying to get better.

好像你一点都不想好转一样

Sheldon you don't get over the flu in half an hour.

谢尔顿流感哪能过半小时就好啊

Well not with that attitude.

你这种态度怎么好

I have to say

我不得不说

I'm finding your bedside manner a little lacking.

我觉得你对病人的态度不够耐心

I'm sorry.

抱歉嘛

I just want you to get better as soon as possible.

我只是想你能尽快好起来

And with that goal in mind let me ask you a question.

抱着这个目标我要问你个问题

Do you believe in the placebo effect

你相信安慰剂效应吗

从而让其症状得到舒缓的现象

病人虽然获得无效的治疗但却"预料"或"相信"治疗有效

Of course I do.

当然相信

There have been many studies proving its validity.

很多研究证明了其有效性

Great.

很好

Now this may look like a Tic Tac...

这可能看似是薄荷糖

...but it is really a powerful medication specifically designed

但它其实药效强大还特别设计成

to cure your illness as well as freshen your breath.

能治疗疾病的同时帮你清新口气

Sheldon this isn't helping.

谢尔顿这一点帮助都没有

Why don't you just let me get some rest.

你何不就让我睡一会呢

How can you sleep

你怎么能睡觉呢

I'm not done making you feel better.

为了让你感觉好点我还有好多事要做呢

I still have to put a cold rag on your head

我还得在你额头放一块冷毛巾

sing to you and apply VapoRub to your chest.

唱歌给你听帮你在胸口擦伤风膏

Y You want to rub something on my chest

你要帮我在胸口擦东西

Yes.

是啊

All over it.

整个胸口都得擦

Maybe we should start with that.

或许我们应该从那个开始

Now you're being a responsible patient.

现在你才是个尽责的病人

Now you may notice some tingling.

你可能会有些刺激感

Oh I'm counting on it.

不刺激还不要呢

Okay dig in.

好了开动吧

Hold up.

慢着

Bless us O Lord for these Thy gifts

主求你降褔我们

which we are about to receive from Thy bounty

並降褔你惠赐的这次晚餐

through Christ our Lord. Amen.

我们的主基督阿门

Took the words right out of my mouth.

把我想说的话抢了

So Dad have you done any fishing lately

爸你最近有去钓鱼吗

I'm going next weekend.

下周末去

Oh you like to fish

你喜欢钓鱼啊

Yes.

是啊

Sure. I can hear it in your voice.

也是我能从你声音听出来

Oh if he didn't like it he wouldn't go.

如果他不喜欢就不会去了

You know I hadn't thought of that.

我还真没想到这点

Help me.

救我

Hey Dad maybe you could take Howard fishing sometime.

爸有时间你可以带霍华德一起去啊

Give you guys a chance to get to know each other better.

让你们俩有机会更了解对方

No no.

不不用了

We know each other well enough.

我们已经够了解对方了

He's been talking my ear off all night.

他整个晚上都在叨叨个不停

Howie I think you'd have fun.

华仔我觉得你会喜欢的

Fine you can tag along.

好吧你可以跟着去

Terrific.

太棒了

My two favorite fellas gone fishin'.

我最爱的两个男人一起去钓鱼

Well hang on a second Bernie.

等一下小妮妮

Next weekend we have that thing.

下周我们有事

Whathing

什么事

You know the thing.

就是那件事啊

Oh that thing.

那件事啊

No I cancelled that thing.

没了我取消了

All right it's settled.

行就这么定了吧

You and I are going fishing. Great.

-你和我一起去钓鱼 -真好

Thanks for the help.

谢谢你落井下石

I've never even been fishing.

我从来没去钓过鱼

This is gonna be a disaster.

场面肯定会很糟糕

If you don't want to look foolish doing something

如果不想在干某事时看起来笨手笨脚

you should practice.

你就应该多多练习

Do you know how many beef Wellingtons I made by myself

你知道在邀请你们来我家之前

before I invited you guys over

我做了多少次惠灵顿牛排吗

I'll give you a hint.

给你们个提示

You can see them here here...

你们可以从这里这里

and here.

还有这里看出来

Raj is probably right.

拉杰说得对

You should get someone to give you some pointers.

你应该找人给你些建议

Do either of you guys know how to fish

你们俩有谁知道怎么钓鱼吗

No.

不知道

But if you catch anything

不过如果你真钓到鱼

I know how to steam it in banana leaves.

我知道怎么用香蕉叶子包着蒸

Come on we must know somebody

拜托我们肯定有认识

who can do manly stuff like this.

懂这种爷们事情的人

What's up

干嘛

Step 1 worms.

第一步虫子

恶心死了

Okay right there "ew" is one of the things

打住 "恶心死了"这句话

you're not gonna want to say in front of your father in law.

你绝对不能再你岳父面前说

It's right up there with "icky" and "get it away."

一样娘的还有"真讨厌"和"快拿开"这两句

Now pick one up.

拿条虫子起来

Really

真的假的

You're gonna have to do it when you're fishing.

你钓鱼的时候就得这么做

Okay.

好吧

What are you waiting for

你在等什么啊

I don't know for them to die of natural causes.

不知道等它们自然死亡了再下手抓嘛

Just pick up a worm and put him on this hook.

快点挑一条虫子然后把它弄到鱼钩上

Fine.

好啦

There.

好了

I'm no expert

虽然我不是专家

but I think the hook has to go through the worm.

但这鱼钩得穿过虫子才行吧

Fine.

好吧

Sorry Mr. Worm.

抱歉啦虫子先生

Sherm. Sherm the Worm.

舍尔曼虫子舍尔曼先生

Hey don't name him.

别给它取名字

Just jab a hook in his face.

麻利地把鱼钩插穿它脸就对了

You got this buddy.

你行的哥们

Yeah come on Howard. Hook that worm.

是啊加把油霍华德钩穿那条虫

You can do it.

你行的

That's great.

不错啊

Cheerleading way to man things up.

拉拉队加油你们仨真够"男性雄风"

"And the control group displayed

"随后实验对照组显示了

significantly fewer genetic abnormalities.

基因变异体的大幅减少

But because of flaws in the experimental design

但由于实验环境的设计

relating to environment and diet

和喂食环节的缺陷

they lived inconclusively ever after."

它们最终都与世长辞了"

The end.

剧终

That was great.

故事真好听

Rub my chest again.

再帮我擦擦胸口吧

No.

不行

I need to get you down for a nap.

我得让你睡会儿

For some reason that VapoRub gets you all fired up.

不知怎么那伤风膏让你像打了鸡血一样

How's the poor thing

可怜的小家伙怎么样了

Oh I'm hanging in there. Thanks for asking.

我还撑着呢谢谢你的关心

Okay Amy I brought you some drugs

艾米我给你带了点

we were working on in the lab.

我们实验室正在研发的药

This is proving really good for congestion

这种对鼻塞很有用

but there's a slight chance

但有很小的可能

it can make your tears burn like acid

让你的眼泪有强酸的灼烧感

so if you take it happy thoughts.

吃了药就求上天保佑吧

Uh I'm going to draw you a soothing bath.

我去帮你放一缸能放松身心的水吧

Where's your bath thermometer

你的水温计在哪

I don't have a bath thermometer.

我没有水温计

Fine. Then I'm going to draw you

好吧那我就帮你放一缸

a nerve wracking bath of indeterminate temperature.

让神经紧绷的水温不明水吧

This is a really good expectorant.

这种药的化痰功能很强

Although some test subjects reported

不过有些试药员报告说

lactating uncontrollably when they heard music.

她们听到音乐时会忍不住分泌乳汁

Okay okay here's the deal.

好了是这么回事

I don't need your medicine. I'm not sick.

我不需要你的药我没病

I don't understand.

我不太明白

I got better two days ago.

我两天前就好多了

It's just been so nice having Sheldon take care of me.

但谢尔顿把我照顾得太好了我舍不得

So you've just been lying to him

所以你就一直骗他啊

See the stuff in my nose

看我鼻子的东西

Rubber cement.

那是胶水

I don't mean to be judgy

我不是想批评你啦

but this is the kind of thing lunatics do.

但这种事不是只有疯子才会做吗

All right.

好吧

I'll tell him.

我跟他坦白

Amy would you be strong enough to bathe yourself

艾米你有力气自己洗澡吗

or do you need my help

还是你需要我帮忙

I'll tell him tomorrow.

我明天再坦白

Mama needs a bath.

老娘想好好洗个澡

Now let's assume by some miracle

现在我们假设奇迹降临

you actually catch a fish.

你真的钓上来一条鱼

You're going to have to know how to gut it.

你得知道怎样清理内脏

So what you're going to do

所以你要做的就是

is you're going to take your knife

拿起刀

slice him right up the belly.

从它的肚皮上切下去

You want me to stop

要我停下来吗

No I'm fine. Keep going. All right.

-不我没事你继续 -好

Now you don't want to cut too deep into its guts

千万别切得太深

or the blood will just squirt all over your face.

不然血会溅得你满脸都是

Oh my God.

我的天啊

What is with you guys

你们这群阿宅是怎么回事

It's not our fault.

不是我们的错啊

Our dads never did anything like this with us.

我们的老爸又没和我们做过这些事

What never

从来没有过吗

My dad was an anthropologist.

我爸爸是个人类学家

The only father son time he spent

我们唯一的父子活动

was with a 2 000 year old

都献给那个有两千年历史的

skeleton of an Etruscan boy.

伊特鲁里亚男孩的尸骸了

I hated that kid.

我可讨厌那小子了

Mine just took me to his gynecology office.

我爸只会带我去他的妇科办公室

I got so bored

我甚至无聊到

I'd put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes

把阴道润滑剂涂在鞋底

and pretend I was ice skating.

然后幻想我是在滑冰

Yeah well my quality father son time

我小时候美好的父子时光

was spending my adolescence looking out the window

都用来盯着窗外

waiting for my dad to come back someday.

等我爸会不会回心转意回家来了

Yeah okay Howard wins.

好吧霍华德赢了

You know maybe we didn't have opportunities like this

也许我们在长大的过程中

when we were growing up but right now

没有这样的机会但现在

there's a dad that wants to take you on a fishing trip.

有位父亲真的要带你去钓鱼了

You're right.

你说得对

I should do this. Great.

-我得好好学 -很好

Here you go.

拿着

What you're going to do

你现在要做的是

is you're going to stick your thumb down its throat

把你的手指伸进它的喉咙

grab the guts and pull.

抓住内脏往外拉

Here we go.

我要动手啦

Oh look it's a female. You can see all the eggs.

瞧这是鱼妈妈快看她产的卵

I'm walking on sunshine

在阳光下漫步

And don't it feel good

感觉多么爽快

And don't it feel good

感觉多么惬意

Oh Sheldon am I glad you're back.

谢尔顿你可算回来了

Taking a turn for the worst.

我又严重了

I think I'm going to need another bath.

我觉得你得再帮我洗个澡

I'm surprised to hear that.

听你这么说真是意外

See the other day I was concerned that you weren't recovering

那天我担心你怎么一直没有好转

so while you were sleeping

所以趁你睡觉时

I took a cheek swab and had it cultured in the lab.

取了你的唾液样本到实验室进行细菌培养

是吗

I got the results back.

结果出来了

Have you developed any of the following symptoms

你有出现如下症状吗

A growing nose

鼻子变长

or perhaps a warm sensation in the trouser region

或是裤子区域有温热感觉

Also known as full blown

也就是大家熟知的

"Liar liar pants on fire."

"撒谎撒谎裤裆烧光"

All right all right.

好啦好啦

But I really was sick at the beginning.

但最开始我真的病了

It's just been so nice having you take care of me.

只是有你照顾我的感觉真是太好了

It hurts that you would lie to me Amy.

你骗我我会伤心的艾米

I thought our relationship was based on trust

我以为我们的关系是建立在信任

and a mutual admiration that skews in my favor.

以及倾向于对我有利的相互欣赏之上

I feel terrible I did this.

我很抱歉我这么做了

It pains me to say it

尽管这么说我也不好受

but I think some form of penalty is in order

但我觉得惩罚是必须的

so as to discourage this type of behavior in the future.

以防日后再出现这样的行为

I suppose that's fair. What do you suggest

这无可厚非那你想怎么惩罚我

In a perfect world I'd lock you

在理想世界里我会把你关在

in a stockade in the public square.

广场上的围笼里

That probably requires a permit.

那可能需要申请准证

I could not be allowed

可以不允许我

to go to the opening of the next Star Trek movie.

参加下一部《星际迷航》电影的首映啊

Oh that seems overly harsh.

这惩罚也太重了

You gave in to a human weakness.

你只是向人性弱点屈服

You didn't kill a man.

你又没杀人

You know it's a tad old school

这惩罚可能有点传统

but my father was not one to spare the rod

但我哥溜进我爸的卡车

when my brother would sneak into his truck

偷喝他的驾车威士忌时

and drink his driving whiskey.

我爸奉行的是"不打不成材"

Are you saying you want to spank me

你是说你要打我屁屁吗

I don't want to.

我也不想啊

But it looks like you left me no choice.

但我别无选择了啊

That's true.

的确是

I've been a very bad girl.

我是个非常"淘气"的坏女孩

Hi ho hi ho it's off to fish we go.

走起走起咱们去钓鱼

That's what you're wearing

你穿成这样啊

No good

不行吗

The guy at the sporting goods store

体育用品店的人说

said these are what fishermen wear.

钓鱼就要穿这个

Maybe in cartoons.

在卡通片里差不多

Wish I had known that before I posted

真希望在上传照片

all those pictures on Facebook.

到网上前就知道这点

All right let's hit the road.

好了出发吧

I wouldn't mind shooting some ducks in the morning.

大早上去猎几只鸭子也不错

Wait now we're shooting things

等等咱们还要猎东西吗

I like using a big shell.

我喜欢用大口径的子弹

You can't eat them afterwards

虽然之后没法吃

but it's fun watching them blow up.

但打爆它们很有趣

Sir I'm flattered

先生您邀请我一起去

that you invited me

我真是受宠若惊

and I really want you to like me

我真的很想让您接受我

but...

但是

I don't think this trip is the way to do it.

我想这趟行程不是什么好主意

And I can't return these things

而且如果上面满是鸭子残骸

if there's chunks of duck all over them.

我也退不了这身行头

So why'd you agree to come

那你为什么同意一起去

'Cause Bernadette made me.

因为伯纳黛特逼我去

I tried to back out too.

我也尝试不去

My wife said I had to go.

我老婆也逼我去

Really Your wife makes you do stuff

真的吗您老婆也逼你做事吗

You're a big scary cop.

您可是吓人的大个儿警察

You're an astronaut

你是个宇航员

and your wife makes you do things

不也一样被老婆牵着鼻子走

and she's only four feet tall.

而且她只是个小不点

So what do we do now

那我们现在怎么办

They expect us to go away for the weekend.

她们是要我们出去玩一整个周末呢

There's an Indian casino near Palm Springs.

棕榈泉附近有家印式赌场

You know how to shoot craps

双骰会玩吗

No but I'm not a stranger to dice games.

不会但我对骰子游戏也略知一二

I was the Temple Beth El Hebrew School Yahtzee champion.

我是希伯来圣地庙学校的"快艇骰"冠军

Mazel tov.

恭喜恭喜[希伯来语]

I'll teach you how to play.

我会教你怎么玩

Really

真的吗

Thank you sir.

谢谢先生

Call me Mike.

叫我麦克吧

Okay.

好的

Oh boy we're just married to

老天我们真是娶了

a couple of ballbusters huh Mike

两个蛋疼女回家啊麦克

That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.

你说的可是我的老婆和女儿

Great couple of gals.

她们是贤良淑德的典范

I wouldn't go that far.

那又有点过了

Are you prepared to receive your punishment

准备好接受惩罚了吗

One second.

等等

I want to put on some music.

我要放音乐

Why

为什么

I don't want to disturb the people next door

你教训我乖乖听话时

while you discipline me.

我不想动静太大扰邻

Very well then.

那好吧

Get over my knee. Let's begin.

趴我膝盖上开始了

Oh my.

天啊

Excuse me.

正经点

You're not supposed to be enjoying this.

你不应该觉得享受才对

Then maybe you should spank me harder.

那你要不要再打大力点

Maybe I will.

也许我会哦

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