生活大爆炸-S07E21_生活大爆炸

S01

So we're about to shoot this scene in the movie

我们当时准备要拍一幕戏

where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.

是杀人恶猿的DNA正慢慢占领我全身

Okay.

然后呢

But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere

但我发现他们把我全身都粘上毛发

except my cleavage.

唯独没粘我的乳沟

So I asked the director why

所以我就问导演为什么

and he says it's important to the story that my boobs

他说把乳沟留到最后猿化对电影剧情

be the last things to turn ape.

有着十分重大的意义

It's sweet that he thinks there is a story.

他还觉得这电影有剧情真可爱

Oh and there's not even a bathroom on set.

而且片场居然没有厕所

I have to go to the gas station across the street.

我得走到对街的加油站去借厕所

I mean I was dressed like half an ape

而且我都已经半人半猿了

and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there.

却还不及那厕所里最恶心的人的一半

Leonard I could use your assistance. Sure. What's up

-莱纳德我需要你帮个忙 -行什么事

Well now that I've given up string theory

我现在放弃弦理论了

宇宙学暗物质中微子质子衰变轴子

I'm struggling to find my next area of focus.

我在纠结该选哪个新研究领域

So in your professional opinion

从你的专业眼光来看

which of these areas do you think is the most promising

你觉得这几个领域中哪个最有发展前途

Huh well I I think there's some really innovative stuff

我觉得暗物质领域有不少

going on in dark matter.

创新十足的发现

That's helpful.

感谢帮助

Okay. Of these four areas... Sheldon

-好在这四个领域中... -谢尔顿

What did we say about being a nicer friend Thank you.

-不是教你要当个好的小伙伴了吗 -谢谢

Lenard what did we say about being a gullible weenie

莱纳德不是教你别又蠢又爱哇哇叫吗

It is just so frustrating. 'Cause you're trying too hard.

-这真是太烦了 -那是因为你逼自己太紧

You need to do something else. Get your mind off it.

你得做点别的事转移下注意力

Hey. How about we bring back Anything Can Happen Thursdays

我们让"无限可能周四夜"复活如何

Hey that's good. Why'd you guys stop doing that

行啊你们当初为什么取消了

You made fun of us. Said it was stupid.

你取笑我们说这蠢透了

Yeah. Sounds like me.

听起来就像我会干的事

Come on Sheldon. What do you say

来吧谢尔顿你觉得呢

All right.

好

I officially reinstate Anything Can Happen Thursday.

我正式宣布恢复无限可能周四夜

Great what do you want to do

太棒了你想做点什么

I don't know.

不知道

What do you want to do

那你想做点什么

I don't know. What do you want to do

-我也不知道 -那你想做点什么

I'm starting to remember the problem with

我开始想起

Anything Can Happen Thursdays.

以前无限可能周四夜的问题了

生

活

大

爆

炸

第七季第二十一集

What could we do that's fun

有啥我们能做的好玩事呢

What could we do that's different

有啥我们能做的新鲜事呢

What could we do that's free

有啥我们能做的免费事呢

Got it We order a pizza.

有了我们可以叫披萨

Are you kidding That's what you always do.

你搞笑啊你平常都这么干

Think harder.

再努力想想

You're right. You're right.

你说得对你说得对

Got it

有了

We order calzones cut them open

我们叫半月乳酪馅饼切开来

eat them like pizza.

像吃披萨那样吃

All right All right

好啦好啦

I'll shake the brain bush one more time see what falls out.

我再摇摇我的大脑智慧树看有啥果子落下

Got it

有了

There's a live action role playing group

有个实景角色扮演组织

that meets every Thursday night in Griffith Park

每周四会在格里菲斯公园做活动

and reenacts battles from Lord of the Rings.

重新演绎《魔戒》里的战役

Uh tell me more about this calzone idea.

我们再聊聊半月馅饼的点子

You know what Why don't we just ease into this.

这样吧我们何不放轻松

Let Let's go for a walk

咱们就出去溜达溜达

and and and see if we find a new restaurant.

看能不能找到家新餐厅

Any chance that restaurant is near Griffith Park

新餐厅会刚好坐落在格里菲斯公园旁吗

《魔戒》角色甘道夫的招牌巫师帽

No. All right.

-不会 -好吧

Raj and Howard are at Howard's mom's

拉杰跟霍华德在霍华德的老妈家

but should we call the girls and see if they want to come

但我们要不要打电话叫上艾米跟伯纳黛特

No. Bernadette's working late.

伯纳黛特今晚要加班

Amy's sick.

艾米生病了

Aw. What's wrong with her

她是什么问题

Well she talks a lot.

她话太多

She always wants to hold hands.

还整天想牵手

That's not what I meant.

我问的不是这个意思

Well if you were referring to her illness

如果你是指身体出了什么问题

your question should have been "What ails her "

那你的问题应该是"她哪病了"

"What ails her " Oh. Who knows

-"她哪病了" -我哪知道

Come on anything can happen.

来嘛无限可能

We can push him down the stairs

我们可以把他推下楼梯啊

Hey. Thanks for coming to hang out.

谢谢你还过来聚聚

No problem. How's your mom feeling

小意思你妈妈病情如何

Okay but she'd feel better if she took her medicine.

还行但如果她愿意吃药会更好吧

You know when Cinnamon won't take her medicine

小桂子不愿意吃药的时候

I hide it in a piece of cheese.

我都把药夹在一片起司里

Good idea. We can wrap the pill in cheese

好主意我们把药夹起司里

feed it to Cinnamon

喂小桂子吃

and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.

再让我妈把小桂子吃了

What do you feel like doing

今晚想干嘛

I was thinking we could watch a DVD.

我们可以来看个DVD

Well my mom doesn't have a lot to choose from.

我妈这里没太多DVD可选

Unless you want to watch the video of her colonoscopy.

除非你有兴趣看她的结肠镜检查纪录片

Spoiler alert 20 minutes in they find a prune pit.

剧透警告影片第20分钟医生发现个西梅籽

Actually how do you feel about watching House of 1000 Corpses

其实你有兴趣看电影《千尸屋》吗

A straight up gore fest You hate this stuff.

你不是不看简单粗暴血腥片的吗

I do but for some reason Emily loves it

是啊可是不知为何艾米丽喜欢看

and wants to watch it with me tomorrow so...

还想明晚跟我一起看

I thought if I start with you first

我想如果先跟你看过

then I could act cool about it with her.

明天跟她看时我就能表现得很酷

That's actually not a bad plan.

这计划其实不错

I can sit through the colonoscopy now

像我现在也能平静看完结肠镜记录片了

but that first time I was like

但第一次看时

"Oh My God a prune pit "

我还尖叫 "天啊有西梅籽"

Uh so... you'd watch it Sure.

-这么说你会陪我看咯 -当然

You're a good friend. I owe you one.

你真是个好朋友我欠你一次人情

Howard

霍华德

Help me get out of the tub

快把我弄出浴缸

Not that one.

人情不还这个

So we're just randomly choosing a restaurant

所以我们不先在网上研究一下

without researching it online

就要随便找家餐馆吃饭吗

Yep.

是的

Great.

太好了

You know this is how Anything Can Happen Thursday turns into

这下无限可能周四夜要变成

It Won't Stop Coming Up Friday.

无限拉稀周五日了

Hey how about that Asian fusion place

那家亚洲杂烩馆怎么样

Fusion and Asians

大杂烩[聚变]与亚洲人

I'm trying not to think about science.

这怎么可能让我不想到科学啊

What the hell

搞什么啊

What...

太过分了

She's not working late

她根本不是加班

And Amy doesn't look sick.

艾米也不是生病

Why would they lie to us

她们为什么要骗我们

That's a good question.

这个问题问得好

Amy and Bernadette.

艾米和伯纳黛特

Amy and Bernadette.

艾米和伯纳黛特

Amy and Bernadette.

艾米和伯纳黛特

Why did you lie to us

你们为什么要骗我们

Hey. Listen to this

你听这DVD的介绍

"Murder... cannibalism and satanic rituals

"谋杀食人以及邪恶仪式

are just a few of the thousand plus horrors that await."

只是即将上演上千个恐怖事件的冰山一角"

I just helped my mom out of the tub

我刚把我妈弄出浴缸

so I'm one slippery horror ahead of you.

所以我比你先看了滑倒恐怖事件了

You're a good son.

你是一个好儿子

I don't know how you do it.

真不知道你是怎么做到的

Beach blankets my friend.

沙滩巾朋友

It's all about beach blankets.

诀窍就是沙滩巾

All right let's get this over with.

好了赶紧看完了事吧

Ew it's got someone's hair on it

上面有根头发好恶心哦

Oh yeah you're gonna do great with this movie.

是啊你肯定会"享受"看这部电影的

You're not working late. Why did you lie to me

你根本不是加班为什么要骗我

And Amy you told me you were sick

艾米你说你病了

but you look just as pale and tired as always.

可你脸色还跟平常一样苍白憔悴

I'm sorry. I just needed a break

对不起嘛我只是想清静一会

from hearing you obsess about what to do after string theory.

不想再听你喋喋不休地说之后要研究什么

And we kind of just wanted one night

我们只是想清静一晚

where we didn't have to hear about

不用再听你一直抱怨

how miserable you are making this movie.

拍这部电影有多惨

But none of that means we don't love you.

但这并不意味着我们不爱你们

I haven't been complaining that much about the movie.

我才没有一直抱怨这部电影呢

Have I

有吗

I also love you.

我也爱你

You know what

算了

Maybe I need a break from all of you.

或许我才应该摆脱你们清静一会

Come on Sheldon.

走吧谢尔顿

Where are we going

我们要去哪里

We're gonna have Anything Can Happen Thursday

我们要去共度无限可能周四夜

you're gonna tell me all about your science stuff

你要喋喋不休地跟我说你的科学

and I'm gonna complain about my movie

我要一直跟你抱怨我的电影

and we're gonna support each other

而且我们要互相支持

because that's what friends do.

因为朋友之间就该这样

Okay.

好吧

'Cause if I had to pick now

如果要我现在选

I'd probably go with dark matter because...

我可能会选暗物质因为...

Shut up.

闭嘴

What's wrong

怎么了

I don't understand my food.

我看不懂我的食物

Chinese noodles with Korean barbecue...

中国面条加韩国烤肉

in a taco.

一起塞进墨西哥玉米卷

It's fusion.

这就叫杂烩啊

Well my mother would lock her car doors

如果我老妈要开车经过

if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of ethnicity.

这样的种族大杂烩区她肯定会把车门锁死

Think I've been complaining too much about the movie

你觉得我有老是在抱怨我的电影吗

Not at all.

完全不觉得

Thank you.

多谢

But to be fair when you talk

但老实说每次你一开口

most of what you say sounds like

你说的大部分对我而言就是

"Wah wah wah clothes".

"啦啦啦衣服"

Hey I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.

我不懂你为什么不生艾米的气

I am.

我气啊

So much so that I'm gonna bring her here

我气到下次约会的时候

for dinner on our next date night.

要把她带来这里吃饭

Okay.

好吧

So in the last 20 minutes

在过去的20分钟里

we've seen a crazy woman kissing a fetus in a jar.

我们看见一个疯女人亲吻罐子中的胎儿

We've seen a guy cut in half and sewn to a fish.

看到一个男人被切成两半然后缝到一条鱼上

And the brutal dismemberment

我们也看见我妈

of a rotisserie chicken by my mother.

残忍地肢解了一只烤鸡

On the bright side she didn't even notice the pill.

往好的方面想至少她把药吃下去了

Why does Emily like this stuff

为什么艾米丽会喜欢这种东西

Do you think there's something psychologically wrong with her

你觉得她心理会不会有问题啊

What difference does it make

有问题又怎么样

What do you mean Oh come on

-这话什么意思 -拜托

she could have a freezer full of ex boyfriend's body parts

就算她冰箱里装满了前男友的各个身体部位

and you'd still go out with her.

你还是照样跟她约会

I do like that the ex boyfriend's out of the picture.

不会有前男友来纠缠的确深得我心

I feel so bad about lying to Sheldon.

欺骗谢尔顿让我感觉好内疚

How am I gonna make it up to him

我怎么才能弥补过错呢

I'd tell you what I do with Howard

我能教你我对付霍华德的办法

but I don't think dressing up like a Catholic schoolgirl

可我觉得打扮成天主教女学生

is gonna work with Sheldon.

哄不了谢尔顿开心

He'd probably give you homework.

他估计会给你布置家庭作业

Did you lie to Howard about tonight Of course.

-你今晚也对霍华德说谎了吗 -当然

And you don't feel guilty about it

那你一点也不内疚吗

Between Penny's gorilla movie

夹在佩妮的大猩猩电影

and Howard's gorilla mother I had no choice.

和华仔的大猩猩老妈之间我别无选择啊

Thankfully Penny and I have a relationship based on honesty.

幸好我和佩妮一直是坦诚相对

What I don't lie to her.

怎么了我可从来不骗她

Oh we know you don't lie to her.

我们知道你是没有骗她啦

Thank you.

谢了

Hey maybe the answer to your career question

没准你未来课题的答案

is in one of these.

就在这些幸运饼干里呢

Penny there's only one cookie with something

佩妮世上只有一种饼干

in the middle that solves life's problems

中间夹有能解除人生烦恼的东西

and that's an Oreo.

它的名字叫奥利奥

Or a Nutter Butter if you're in a pinch.

必要时花生甜饼也可以

Come on open it. I bet it says something great.

拜托打开看看嘛里面肯定有什么好话

This is Asian fusion.

我们身在一家亚洲杂烩馆

For all you know there's a tiny Chihuahua in here.

搞不好里面跳出来个小吉娃娃呢

Fine I'll go.

算了我先打开吧

"People turn to you for guidance and wisdom."

"周围的人都求助于你的智慧和开导"

Yeah that's a good one.

这话不错

No it's not.

不错才怪

How is that not good

这有什么奇怪的

"Turn to you for wisdom"

"求助于你的智慧"

Clearly that cookie is mocking you.

这饼干明显是在讽刺你

You'd never hear that kind of sass from a Nutter Butter.

花生甜饼就从来不会对人这么无礼

Uh since you're paying for dinner I'll let that slide.

看在这顿饭钱是你付的份上我就不计较了

Open yours.

看看你的吧

Have you ever paid for a meal

你有曾经自己付过饭钱吗

Not with money. Read.

没用钱付过快念

"Your warm and fun loving nature delights those around you."

"你温暖又欢乐的气质感染了身边的人"

Oh try again.

不准下一个

Let me get this straight.

我们来理一理

So he kills this girl's father

他杀了那女孩的亲爹

cuts off the guy's face

剥下他的脸皮

and is wearing it as a mask

把它戴在脸上

while he makes out with her.

和那女孩亲热

I'm just gonna say it.

有句话我不得不说

That's not okay.

这样做是不对的

Why can't I be in a relationship

我怎么就找不到

with a girl who likes The Sound of Music

一个喜欢看《音乐之声》的妹子谈恋爱呢

Raj you are the girl in the relationship

拉杰你就是这段恋爱里

who likes The Sound of Music.

那个喜欢看《音乐之声》的妹子

Hey Penny. What's up

佩妮什么事

No Bernie's working late.

不妮妮今天在加班呢

Really

真的吗

Thanks for telling me.

谢谢你告诉我这事

What

怎么了

I'm having sex with a Catholic schoolgirl tonight.

本大爷今晚要和天主教女学生滚床单啦

Oh I think I see our next stop.

我找到下一站的目的地啦

You can't be serious.

你在开玩笑吧

If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense

如果我想用无聊事打发时间

I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.

我早就去关注莱纳德的随手拍了

No come on tonight we are trying new things.

拜托今晚我们不是要尝试新事物吗

Oh That's a lot of incense.

好浓的焚香味啊

Or someone set a hippie on fire.

要不就是谁把嬉皮士点着了

Yeah honey I'm still stuck at work.

亲爱的我还在加班呢

Really

真的吗

Penny said that

佩妮告诉你了

Okay it's true. I'm sorry.

好吧是真的对不起啦

I'll see you at home.

我马上就回家

Yeah yeah I'll put it on.

好吧好吧我穿就是了

You and I never just hang out like this.

我俩还从来没单独出来玩过呢

Why is that

为什么呢

I know it's weird right Yeah.

-我懂真奇怪对不对 -对

We should do it more often.

我们该多出来玩一玩

Oh no. I mean this is weird right now.

不我是说现在这样感觉很奇怪

Ah it's Penny.

是佩妮发的

Is she still mad

她还在生气吗

Oh doesn't seem like it.

貌似没生气了

She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her.

她把谢尔顿带去见算命师了

A psychic

算命师

He considers them not just mumbo jumbo

他觉得算命师不光是狗屁不通

but extra jumbo mumbo jumbo.

还是最狗屁不通的狗屁不通

Well Penny can be pretty persuasive.

佩妮挺会说服人的

She's gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do.

她让我做了好多平时不会做的事

Because she has sex with you.

那是因为她让你跟她上床

Yeah she does.

这是真的

Can I confess something

我可以坦白一件事吗

Once in a while I get a little jealous

有时候我有点小嫉妒

of how close Penny and Sheldon are.

佩妮和谢尔顿之间关系这么好

Really

真的吗

I mean not in a romantic way.

我知道他们不是暧昧

It's just she really has some sort of connection with him.

只是她跟谢尔顿互相颇有默契

Well... Well they've known each other a long time

这个嘛他们认识已经很久了

and Penny grew up around horses

而且佩妮从小和马一起长大

so she knows how to approach him without making him skittish.

所以她懂得如何靠近又不吓到他

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they're friends.

你不要误解了我很高兴他们关系好

I just wish he'd be that comfortable around me already.

我只是希望他在我身边也能那么放松

Well it took him a long time to get comfortable around me too.

他也是花了很长时间才能在我身边那么放松

Really What did you do

真的吗你做了什么

Something terrible in a former life I don't know.

上辈子作恶太多吧我也不清楚

I gotta go.

我得走了

Penny ratted me out.

佩妮把我出卖了

FYI she's getting you a watch for your birthday

对了你生日她准备送你手表

with money she took out of your wallet.

钱是从你钱包里拿的

I don't mean to be rude or discourteous

我不是有意这么无礼粗鲁

but before we begin I'd just like to say

但在开始前我想说

there is absolutely no scientific evidence

绝对没有任何科学证据

to support clairvoyance of any kind.

支持任何形式的灵力

Which means

就是说

and again no insult intended

再说一遍我不是故意无礼

but you're a fraud...

但你是个骗子

...your profession is a swindle

你的职业是骗局

and uh your livelihood is dependent

你的生计取决于

on the gullibility of stupid people.

愚蠢人类的轻易受骗程度

Again no offense.

再说一遍我无意冒犯

All right Sheldon just ask your question.

谢尔顿问她问题吧

Okay I just did. What was it

我刚问了是什么问题

Oh for God's sake.

我的天

Look he's a physicist who's trying to figure out

他是个物理学家他想弄清楚

what his next field of study should be.

他下一个研究领域是什么

For your information

我得告诉你

I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.

我问的是下一部《星际迷航》的电影

Okay I can answer that one I'll be bored.

我可以回答《星际迷航之我会无聊死》

All right why don't we begin

好了我们开始吧

Your spirit guides are telling me that

你的灵魂向导告诉我

there's a woman in your life you're having problems with.

你生活中有一位女性你俩之间有问题存在

That's an easy guess.

这也太好猜了吧

I'm clearly an annoying person

我一看就是个烦人精

and have problems with both genders.

无论男女都看我不爽

Yes you clearly are.

是的你明显是

But I'm seeing a specific woman

但我看到一位特定的女性

that you're in a romantic relationship with.

你们俩是恋爱关系

Oh oh here we go.

说到点子上了

Does she have dark hair

她是深色头发吗

Yes Yes Your spirit guides are on fire

是的你的灵魂向导太牛逼了

The majority of people have dark hair.

大多数人类都是深色头发

Even you at one time.

你也曾经有过

Does she work in a similar field to you

她的工作领域和你类似吗

Ha The opposite.

错了吧正相反

She's a neurobiologist and I'm a theoretical physicist.

她是神经生物学家我是理论物理学家

My spirit guides can go suck an egg.

我的灵魂向导可以一边玩蛋去了

They're telling me that

你的灵魂向导告诉我

you have difficulty being close with her.

你在与她亲近方面有问题

Oh he does. He so does.

是的太对了

What should he do

他应该怎么做

He should give himself to this relationship.

他应该全心投入到这段感情中

Once he does

一旦全心投入

all his other pursuits will come into focus.

其它的所有追求都会拨云见日

Sheldon do you hear that

谢尔顿听到了吗

I mean Amy is the key to your happiness.

艾米是你幸福的关键

Exactly.

正是

Personally and professionally.

个人生活和职业上都是

Everything will fall into place once you commit to her.

一旦你对她全心投入一切都会走上正轨

You know what this is

你知道这算什么吗

Yeah and I reserve this word for those rare instances

这个词不到万不得已

when it's truly deserved.

我是不会说的

This is malarkey

放你妈个屁

Wow you really struck a nerve.

你真是戳到他的痛处了

I've never heard him use the "M" word before.

我以前从没听他骂过那个"妈"字

Here we go

开始了

House of a 1 000 Corpses.

《千尸屋》

Now just so you know

告诉你

I was a nanny for three years so if you get scared

我做过三年保姆如果你害怕

I can totally change your diaper.

我可以帮你换吓尿的纸尿裤

Actually I have to tell you something.

我必须跟你说件事

These kind of movies really aren't my thing

这类电影我实在是不喜欢

so last night I watched it

所以昨晚我看了

just to see what I was getting myself into.

为了提前给自己做点心理准备

Okay.

好的

And I have to be honest

我得说实话

I thought it was disturbing and weird

我觉得这电影让人心里发毛感觉怪异

and it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it.

让我不禁怀疑怎么会有人喜欢看这种电影呢

I wonder that too.

我也怀疑

Then why do you watch these things

那你为什么看这种电影

Can I tell you something without you judging me

我跟你说件事你别戴有色眼镜看我好吗

Sure.

好的

They kind of turn me on.

这类电影让我性趣盎然

And play.

马上播放

Hello.

你好

I didn't expect you this evening.

我没想到今晚你会来

Well I was just feeling so bad

那晚对你说谎

about lying to you the other night

我好内疚

I wanted to make it up to you.

我想补偿你

And how do you propose to do that

你打算怎么补偿

Unless you have Gravity on Blu ray under that skirt

除非你裙子下面有《地心引力》的蓝光碟

I don't know where you're going with this.

不然我实在不知道你在闹哪样

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