生活大爆炸-S05E16_生活大爆炸

S01

Gentlemen I think I've come up with a fun way

先生们我想我找到了一个

to get young people interested in science.

让年轻人对科学感兴趣的办法了

Mad Libs 是一种填词游戏

Physics Mad Libs.

物理疯狂填词游戏

其他人或自己可以随机说出一些固定词性的单词

一篇文章中若干单词空缺并指定填入单词的词性

Now give me a number. Five.

-给我个数字 -五

等都填完之后这篇故事就会被念出来以达到一种幽默的效果

And an irrational constant.

再给我一个无理数

"E."

E[欧拉数]

And a funny Greek letter.

再来一个搞笑的希腊字母

Gamma.

γ[希腊语的第三个字母]

I said funny.

我说了要搞笑的

Upsilon Good one.

-那Y[希腊语第二十个字母]呢 -不错

And an electrical charge.

再给我一个电荷

Positive.

正电荷

Perfect.

棒极了

Okay. Get this.

好了听好了

"Professor Jones told the symposium

"琼斯教授在讨论会上宣布

he had a new method for calculating the mass of a muon.

他找到了计算介子质量的新办法

Five times the limit of 'E' to the upsilon as..."

E到Y极限的五倍..."

Okay. No no.

好吧不笑了不笑了

I'll start over.

我重说一遍

"Professor..."

"琼斯教授"

I haven't seen him laugh that hard

打从莱纳德犯了个乘法错误后

since the day Leonard made that multiplication error.

我还真没见他狂笑成这样过

Oh Oh Lord that multiplication error

天啊那个乘法错误

He thought he carried the one.

他以为自己有进位

But he didn't.

其实根本没有

It's not funny.

一点也不好笑

That mistake got published.

那篇错误的论文还被发表了

Stop I'm going to wet myself

别说了我笑得都快尿裤子了

Hey guys guys President Siebert is headed this way.

伙计们伙计们赛博特校长朝咱们走过来了

I wonder what he wants. Doesn't look happy

-他来干嘛 -看样子不太爽

so I'm guessing he wants to talk to Sheldon.

所以我猜应该是来找谢尔顿的

Dr. Cooper

库珀博士

Told ya.

我就说嘛

Oh President Siebert

赛博特校长

I assume you'd like to respond to one of the suggestions

我猜您是来回复我在您办公室旁放置的

I put in the box by your office.

建议箱里的其中一条建议吧

No and stop installing suggestion boxes everywhere.

不是你别再到处给我装建议箱了

You don't like written suggestions.

您不喜欢书面建议

You don't like when I give them to you

您也不喜欢咱们一起上厕所时

while we're urinating in the men's room.

我给您的口头建议

If I didn't know you any better I'd say that you're one of those

要不是我对您有所了解我会以为您也是

stubborn people who are not open to suggestions.

那种固执己见不肯采纳他人意见的老古板呢

Dr. Cooper the physics department chair tells me

库珀博士物理学部门的主席告诉我

you're refusing to take your vacation.

你不肯休假

I don't need a vacation.

我不需要休假

You're obligated to take one.

你有休假的义务

And I'd also like you to know the most often received

而且我想告诉你在你没经过我同意

suggestion in my suggestion box you installed without asking me

就擅自给我装的建议箱里收到的最多的建议就是

is "Can Dr. Cooper take a vacation "

"能不能让库珀博士去休假呀"

Okay settled then. I'll see y'all of you Monday

好吧问题解决那咱们就周一见咯

except for you.

除了你

But if I don't come into work

但如果我不来上班

what am I supposed to do with myself

那我自己要去干嘛

Read rest travel.

看书休息旅游

I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year.

我听说这个季节去阿富汗不错

Sarcasm

是说反话吗

No. You should go.

不是你真该去一趟

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第十六集

That tonight's gonna be a good night

今夜将是个美好的夜晚

Black Eyed Peas 《I Gotta Feeling》

And tonight's gonna be a good night

今夜将是个美好的夜晚

And tonight's gonna be a good good night

今夜将是个美好得不得了的夜晚

Tonight's the night uh uh

就是今夜

Let's live it up uh

齐来狂欢

I got my money let's spend it up...

钱早备好尽情挥霍...

Good Lord

上帝啊

Would you stop that caterwauling

你别跟猫叫春一样行不

What the hell are you doing

你在这里干嘛

Bleeding from my ears.

听你蹂躏我的耳朵到出血呀

What are you doing hiding back there

你藏在我车后座上干嘛

I'm sneaking into work.

我要偷溜去上班

Now if the guard at the university asks

如果大学门口的保安问你

what's under the blanket

毯子下面藏着什么

you tell him it's some lobster traps.

你就跟他说是捕龙虾的装置

Lobster traps Yes.

-捕龙虾的装置 -没错

That's how Velma and Scooby

维尔玛和史酷比就是这样

皆为美国著名卡通《史酷比》中的人物

smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.

把主人毛毛偷运进那个老灯塔里的

What are you going to do when you get to the university

你进到学校里面以后怎么办呢

People are going to recognize you.

人们肯定会认出你的

Will they Leonard

有可能吗莱纳德

Fine. Just get back under your blanket

好吧乖乖藏回毯子底下

and I'll drive you there.

我会载你过去的

And no more singing.

不许再唱歌了

Fine.

好吧

I have GPS on my phone.

我手机有导航

I know you turned around.

我知道你掉头了

I'm so glad you talked Howard

我真高兴你说服了霍华德

out of having your wedding invitations in Klingon.

不要用克林贡语来写你们的结婚喜帖

Turn it over.

翻过来看背面

I'm hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew.

希望我的亲戚会以为这是希伯来语

This is really happening.

今天终于来了

I'm gonna be a maid of honor.

我要当伴娘了

I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle

我将穿着一条漂亮的裙子走过教堂的走廊

and finally I will have my special day.

然后迎来我的大日子

You mean my special day

你是说我的大日子吧

They're gonna need an extra large veil for somebody's head.

某人的新娘头纱得要加大码的

If I ever actually ever get married.

如果我真的能结成婚

Why wouldn't you

为什么结不成

My dad...

因为我爸呗

'Cause I make a lot more money than Howie

我挣得钱比华仔多

he's putting a lot of pressure on me to get a prenup.

所以我老爸逼我签订一个婚前协议

Ouch.

这可不妙

Yeah. Howie's gonna freak out.

是啊华仔会抓狂的

Parental pressure can be daunting.

来自父母的压力还真是可怕

I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs.

记得我以前因为不愿刮腿毛而跟我妈吵架

Last year I finally gave in and let her do it.

去年我终于举腿投降让她把我刮了

I just don't know how I'm gonna break it to him.

我真不知道该怎么跟他说这件事

You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news

我坚信向男人宣布坏消息的最好时机

to a guy when you're in bed with him.

就是跟他在床上的时候

That's how I told my high school boyfriend

我就是这么告诉我高中男友

I slept with his brother.

我跟他哥上床的事情

That's how I told his brother the same thing.

然后场景不变再把主角换成他哥

I don't know I don't want to manipulate him with sex.

我不知道可我不想用性来操纵他

Oh sweetie that's what sex is for.

亲爱的这才是性的用处所在

You know the connection between marriage and money is nothing new.

其实婚姻和金钱的联系早在过去便如此

In fact the term "wed" referred to the money and livestock

"结婚"一词在过去就是指

that the groom paid the bride's father.

新郎付给岳父的金钱和牲畜

For example

比如

you're adorable

如果你长得标致

intelligent and a good earner.

聪明伶俐又会挣钱

I could conservatively see you going for

保守地说你也能得到

at least two oxen and a goose.

至少两头牛和一只鹅

You would fetch a unicorn.

而你绝对能收到一头独角兽

Sheldon there are a million great vacations you could take.

谢尔顿有很多度假胜地你可以去

What about Hawaii

夏威夷怎么样

莫洛凯岛在十九世纪后成为夏威夷群岛中专门关押麻疯病人的地方

Hawaii is a former leper colony on top of an active volcano

夏威夷就是昔日坐落在活火山上的麻风病人隔离区

where the disappointing ending to Lost was filmed.

《迷失》的烂结局也是在那里拍的

Mahalo为夏威夷语

Mahalo for nothing Hawaii.

真他妈感谢你夏威夷

How about Florida

那佛罗里达呢

They got Cape Canaveral

那里有卡纳维拉尔角

they got Disney they got my Aunt Ida

迪士尼乐园我的艾达姨妈也在那

and the world's largest collection of diabetic candy.

她集了世界上最全的糖尿病患吃的糖果

Plus if you get sweaty enough

而且你要是汗出得够多

her plastic covered furniture is like a flume ride.

还可以用她的塑料膜沙发玩激流勇进

My family took a trip to Florida when I was a child.

小时候俺家去佛罗里达旅行过一次

A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach.

在沙滩上一只海鸥偷了我一条热狗

I got the message.

我就知道这儿不欢迎我

You know if I had a week off I'd go back

我要是能放一周假

to the Two Bunch Palms Resort and Spa in the desert.

我会再去沙漠温泉酒店

I tell you an hour on the massage table with Trevor

告诉你们让特雷弗给你按摩一小时

and you'll feel like you were born without bones.

你会酥软到觉得自己生来就没骨头

I don't think I could ever let a guy give me a massage.

我估计受不了一个男的给我按摩

Really What was I doing to your neck last night

是吗那昨晚你玩X-BOX的时候

while you were playing X Box

我在给你的脖子做什么

It's like I'm living in a dictatorship.

感觉我就像生活在独裁之中

"You must take a vacation you must have fun

"你一定要去度假你一定要开心

you must enjoy life."

你一定要享受生活"

I don't think you have a good handle on dictatorships.

你好像误解了独裁的意思吧

Sheldon everybody takes vacations.

谢尔顿每个人都需要休假

One time they tried to make Richard Feynman take a vacation

理查德·费曼以前也被逼着休假

but he chose instead to expand his mind

可他选择拓宽思维

and learn something new.

学一些新知识

He went to work in his friend's biology lab.

他去了朋友的生物实验室工作

Richard Feynman was a famous American physicist

理查德·费曼是美国著名的物理学家

盎格鲁国家秘密研发原子弹项目的代号

曼哈顿工程是第二次世界大战期间

part of the Manhattan Project.

参与过曼哈顿工程

Everyone in the world of science knows who Richard Feynman was.

科学界的人都知道理查德·费曼是谁

Now you do too.

你是现在才知道的吧

Oh I have a brilliant idea.

我想到了一个绝妙的主意

Amy's a biologist. I'll go work in her lab.

艾米是生物学家我可以去她的实验室工作

Isn't that just Feynman's idea

这不就是费曼的主意吗

Ten seconds ago you never heard of him.

几秒钟前你还没听说过他

Now you're an expert.

现在就装起专家来了

Hey you. Is that your laundry

-这么巧 -这是要洗的衣服吗

You only have like six things in there.

怎么才这么几件

Yeah I didn't have any quarters

我没有零钱了

so I've been sneaking stuff into other people's loads all day.

所以一直偷偷把衣服塞到别人的衣服堆里

Hey if I tell you something

如果我告诉你一件事

will you promise not to tell anybody

你能保证不告诉别人吗

It doesn't matter what I say you're gonna tell me anyway.

我说什么无所谓反正你也会告诉我

What That is not true.

什么才没有这回事

Bernadette wants a prenup.

伯纳黛特想签婚前协议

Wow. That's rough.

这事过分了吧

So you're saying if I became a famous movie star

这么说如果我成了著名影星

we got married you wouldn't sign a prenup

我们结婚的话你不会签婚前协议吗

Absolutely not.

绝对不会

If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids

如果我要待在家里带孩子

while you're on location

而你在出外景

瑞安·高斯林好莱坞帅哥影星

cheating on me with Ryan Gosling...

跟瑞安·高斯林玩偷吃

then Leonard gots to get paid.

那莱纳德就不是这么好打发的了

So you think about us getting married

你想过我们结婚吗

I think about a lot of things.

我想的东西可多了

I think about us getting married

我会想我们结婚

I think about us breaking up.

我也会想我们分手

Once in a while I think about

有时我还想

how I didn't leave a note on that Mercedes

自己上个月在停车场

I dinged in the parking lot last month

撞了人家的奔驰没留字条

but then I have a glass of wine and it passes.

不过喝杯酒就抛到九霄云外了

Joke all you want but you think about it.

随你怎么说笑但你还是想了

Well tell you one thing

告诉你一件事

if I ever do get married no Klingon invitations.

我要是真要结婚了绝对不用克林贡语写喜帖

Good luck catching a man with that attitude.

祝你能用这态度去抓住男人的心

Boy oh boy

哎哟喂

This vacation is off to a wonderful start.

这次度假有了个美好的开端

The smell of formaldehyde...

甲醛的气味

the whir of the centrifuge

离心机的嗡嗡声

the distant chatter of lab animals

被送去解剖的实验室动物

being dispatched for dissection.

那渐渐远去的叫喊声

Mm I can already feel my cares just melting away.

我觉得自己的担心在慢慢消逝

I'm excited to work with my boyfriend.

我很高兴能和自己的男朋友公事

It's gonna be romantic.

肯定很浪漫

Way to kill the mood.

真会扫兴

Come on Sheldon.

别这么说谢尔顿

We can be like Marie Curie and her husband Pierre

我们可以像玛丽·居里和她丈夫皮埃尔那样

who spent their days working side by side

他们日夜并肩工作

bathed in the glow of their love and the radium

沐浴在爱和镭的光辉下

that ultimately killed her.

那玩意儿最终还要了她的命

Screw Beauty and the Beast

《美女与野兽》弱爆了

that's the love story Disney should tell.

这才是迪士尼应该拍的爱情故事

Okay what do we start with

好吧我们从什么开始呢

Maybe splicing some genes clone a sheep

要不拼接一些基因克隆一只羊

perhaps grow a human ear on a mouse's back

或者在一只老鼠背上植个人耳

Ha ha I'm a freak

哈哈我是个怪胎

Oh I'm gonna be doing some brain stem histology

我准备做一些脑干组织的实验

while you put yourself on the business end

你可以用那块海绵

of a sponge and wash those beakers.

洗那些烧杯

Wash those bea...

洗烧杯

Oh I get it a little hazing for the new fella.

我明白了欺负新来的是吧

Yeah I'd better keep an eye out for what

我还得眼睛睁大点

shoe polish on the microscope

小心显微镜上有鞋油

or mad cow disease in my grilled cheese sandwich

烤芝士三明治里有疯牛病菌是吧

No I just need those beakers washed.

不是我真的要用干净的烧杯

Hippity hop quick like a bunny.

小兔子乖乖赶紧干活了

Wha... Excuse me you have Dr. Sheldon Cooper in your lab.

拜托大名鼎鼎的谢尔顿博士在你实验室呢

You're gonna make him do the dishes

你就让他做洗碗的工作啊

That's like asking the Incredible Hulk

那不等于叫绿巨人

to open a pickle jar.

去开泡菜罐头嘛

Sheldon you've never worked in a lab like this before.

谢尔顿你从没在生物实验室工作过

You have no experience in the field of biology.

你对生物领域毫无经验

I have plenty of experience in biology.

我对生物的经验可多了

I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998.

我1998年买了个电子宠物鸡

And...

瞧

it's still alive.

它还活着呢

Let's do this.

所以没问题了吧

Where's Howard No "Hi Raj"

-霍华德呢 -招呼都懒得打吗

No "How are you Raj "

也不问我今天过得怎么样

Just straight to "Where's the other white guy "

一开口就问另一个白人在哪儿

I'm sorry.

抱歉

So listen I heard something about him.

听着我听说了点关于他的事

Can you keep it between us

你能保密吗

Ooh gossip.

哎哟八卦

When I first got here I thought you Americans

我刚来这的时候我以为你们美国人

really gossiped around the water cooler.

真的只在冷水机旁说八卦呢

So I hung out there for like a month

所以我去那边转悠了大概一个月

but the only gossip I ever heard was about some creepy guy

但我唯一听到的八卦就是有个诡异的家伙

hanging out by the water cooler.

总是围着冷水机瞎转悠

Bernadette wants to get a prenup.

伯纳黛特想要签婚前协议

Oh that's a shame he's gonna be devastated.

这太丢脸了他肯定会悲痛欲绝的

I never know what to do in these situations.

我对处理这种情况没有经验

Should I give him a heads up

我该给他点建议吗

Hmm. I'm gonna give you the same advice

我给你的建议就跟我看真人秀《单身汉》的一样

I yell at the TV when the Bachelor's handing out roses.

当那些男人拿着玫瑰不知送给谁时我就会嚷

Follow your heart.

随心所愿

Check it out.

快瞧瞧

Look at the size of that Rice Krispie Treat

看这份超大米花糖

Same price.

价钱一样哦

Hey Howard I need to tell you something.

霍华德我得告诉你点事

I know it's not on my wedding diet.

我知道结婚前不该吃这些

I don't care.

我不在乎

Uh l listen I...

听着

A prenup

婚前协议

What are you gonna do

你要怎么办

I... don't know.

我不知道

Follow your heart.

随心所愿

You know what it's... not a big deal.

其实这也没什么

She makes more money than me.

她赚的钱比我多

She wants to protect her financial interests.

她想要保护自己的经济利益

It's completely reasonable.

这完全合理

Good. That's a healthy attitude.

很好你这心态不错

Yeah actually it's good for both of us.

其实这对我们两个都好

I have assets to protect too.

我也有要保护的财产

Like what

是吗比如呢

I've got some rare comic books.

我有些很珍贵的漫画书

The Vespa's almost paid off.

那辆卫士摩托的贷款也快还清了

And Ma and I have a primo double cemetery plot at Mt. Sinai

我和妈在西奈山优先订了一个双人墓

right near the guy who played Mr. Roper on Three's Company.

就在那个演过《三人行》里罗柏先生的人旁边

Mr. Roper's dead

罗柏先生死了吗

You can't just spring that on a guy

你怎么能人家在毫无心理准备下说出来呢

Here you go.

给

This is now the only lab

这件实验室里的玻璃器皿

with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates

可是独一无二因为它们被个有双博士学位

卡尔·萨根美国著名天文学家和科学家

and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.

和一张卡尔·萨根签过的禁止令的人洗过

Soap spots. Wash 'em again.

有肥皂泡重新洗

Y... You're being ridiculous

胡说八道

Those are perfectly clean.

这些器皿彻底洗干净了

Sheldon this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid

谢尔顿这个量杯盛过

from an elephant that died of syphilis.

死于梅毒的大象的脑脊液

If it's in fact perfectly clean

如果真的彻底干净了

drink from it.

你敢拿去倒水喝吗

Biologists are mean.

生物学家好刻薄

All right perhaps this task will be a little bit more up your alley.

好了这个任务可能有点超出了你的能力

I need you to count the bacteria spores on these petri dishes.

我要你数清这些培养皿里的细菌孢子

There was something wrong with that detergent.

那个清洁剂有问题

That was way too bubbly.

有好多泡泡

I'm sure it was. I intend to write

-我想是吧 -我准备写一封

that soap company a strongly worded letter.

措辞强力的投诉信给肥皂公司

Yeah good for you. Now start counting.

好吧不错现在开始数吧

You know what this place needs

知道这地方需要什么东西吗

A suggestion box.

建议箱

366...

三百六十六

367...

三百六十七

How's it going

怎么样了

How's counting going

你是说数数吗

When I was in kindergarten

我还在上幼儿园的时候

I recited pi to a thousand places for the school talent show.

我在学校才艺展示上背了圆周率小数点后的一千位

I think I got this. Great.

-我想这难不倒我 -很好

Aw nuts

我擦

One...

一

This is preposterous

这太可笑了

I think you're giving me these tasks

你一直让我做这些工作

because you're afraid if you give me anything meaningful to do

因为你担心我要是做了有意义的工作

I'll show you up.

我就会超过你

Really Is that what you think

真的吗你就这么想的吗

Yes that's what I think.

对我就是这么想的

And I'm super smart so it's probably true.

而我这么超级聪明的人这没准就是事实

Hey I've been training in the field of neurobiology for 12 years.

我在神经生物学领域锻炼了12年

You've been here for three hours

而你只来了3小时

and you've spent one of them in the bathroom.

其中1小时还花在厕所里了

I'm sorry It takes me a while

不好意思我没上过这里的厕所

to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.

总得花点时间来熟悉熟悉

Sheldon I've given you the simplest things to do

谢尔顿我给你的都是最简单的工作

and you haven't done one of them right.

你还一件都没有做对

Maybe that's because I'm not being challenged.

也许是因为这些工作没有挑战

It's the same reason Einstein failed math.

就和爱因斯坦数学不及格一样

Maybe the math was too bubbly for him.

也许数学对他来说泡泡[0]太多了

You think you're doing science by cutting up that brain

你觉得切割大脑需要技术含量吗

They could do the same thing at any Quiznos.

这和在三明治店做的没什么两样

And they'd offer to toast it for me too.

而且他们还会给我吐司面包呢

Okay smart guy.

好吧聪明鬼

I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus

我正要切除蓝斑核

which is incredibly delicate work.

这是份超精细的工作

Have at it.

你来吧

All right.

好啊

I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.

我对这种灰白质可熟悉了

Locus coeruleus.

蓝斑核

Locus coeruleus.

蓝斑核

You're getting warmer it is indeed in the brain.

你猜得差不多了这确实是脑子里面的

You're getting warmer一般用在猜谜或游戏活动中

Hope your hands are steady.

希望你的手有够稳

It's the width of a single hair.

这活儿细如发丝

But this is just biology

但这不过是普通的生物学

so I'm sure it's no problem for a genius like you.

肯定难不倒向你这样的天才

It's not. I'll have you know in the field of physics

那是当然你要知道在物理学领域

we work with particles so small

我们研究的粒子小到

they make fat jokes about the locus coeruleus.

可以嘲笑你们的蓝斑体型过胖

I.e. when your locus coeruleus sits around the house

就是说你们家蓝斑闲坐家中

it sits around the house.

那家里简直水泄不通

Oh... are we nervous Dr. Cooper

紧张了吗库珀博士

No.

没有

What you see

你所看到的

is a man trembling with confidence.

是我满怀信心的颤抖

Does a locus coeruleus normally bleed that much

蓝斑通常都会出这么多血吗

No. But your thumb does.

不但你的手指会

Oh dear.

天啊

Yeah you're a biologist.

哎哟就你还想当生物学家呢

What are you doing here

你来这干嘛

I'm on vacation.

我在度假

Social convention dictates

按照社会惯例

that I let my hair down at a local watering hole.

我应该来当地酒吧放松一下

Social convention is stupid.

社会惯例就是个屁

What happened to your thumb

你的手指怎么了

I have ten fingers and ten toes.

我有十个手指十个脚趾

If I tell you a story about each one of them

要我每个指头的故事你都要听

we'll be here all day let's just move on.

那可得说上一整天所以算了吧

What can I get you

要点什么

Ah seeing as I'm on vacation

既然我是在度假

uh Pina Colada seems appropriate.

凤椰朗姆酒比较合适

调制成的加勒比海特色鸡尾酒

凤梨片椰奶和白色褐色朗姆酒

Extra pineapple slices extra whipped cream

多加凤梨片和鲜奶油

extra cherries extra umbrellas

再给双份樱桃和小伞

and uh hold the rum.

还有不要朗姆酒

Don't let me have too many of those.

记得别让我喝太多

Hey what are you guys doing here

您二位在这干嘛呀

We're grown men we drink at bars.

我们都是大人就该在吧台这喝酒

No and no.

扯胡扯

Everything okay with you and Bernadette

你和伯纳黛特还好吧

Oh yeah sure.

好啊当然好

You and Amy Good

你和艾米呢还好吗

Oh better than good.

好得不能再好了

You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens.

要知道她们都会把生活中的每件事都发短信告诉我

I'm not signing a prenup.

我是不会签婚前协议的

All right Howard Wolowitz listen up.

好吧霍华德·沃罗威茨给我听着

You sign anything she puts in front of you

她给你什么你就签什么

because you are the luckiest man alive.

因为你是世上最幸运的人

If you let her go

要是失去了她

there is no way you can find anyone else

你再也不可能找到像她这么好的

speaking on behalf of all women

我是代表全体女同胞说这话

it is not gonna happen we had a meeting.

你绝对不可能再找到我们开会一致认同的

And you a grown man

还有你一个成年人

fainting at the sight of a little blood. Excuse me

-居然看到一点点血就晕倒 -拜托

this is a fairly substantial wound.

这个伤口那是相当大

You...

你...

Amy Amy Amy

艾米艾米艾米

What do you want

有何贵干

I was kind of hoping I could continue vacationing in your laboratory.

我希望能继续在你实验室里度假

After all I did book the whole week.

毕竟当初我预定了一整周

Do you honestly think you can just waltz back in here

你真的以为就凭你昨天那样

after the way you behaved yesterday

还能轻易地回来这里吗

I was not myself.

昨天我那是身不由已

I had lost a lot of thumb blood.

因为手指失血过多

That's not an apology.

这话可不算道歉

That is your opinion.

就你不觉得而已

I want a real apology.

我想听的是真正的道歉

I'm sorry that you weren't able to... No.

-我很抱歉你没有能够... -不对

...that my genius...

抱歉我的天赋...

No.

不对

...that the soap was...

抱歉那肥皂太...

Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Fine.

好吧

Sorry.

对不起

You're forgiven.

我原谅你

Now if you want to stay get started on those beakers.

你若真想留下来就先去洗那些烧杯

They're still dirty from yesterday.

昨天就没洗干净

Next year I'm going to EPCOT.

明年度假我要去"未来世界"玩

美国佛州迪士尼的主题乐园

Are you mad at me

你在生我气吗

No. I'm not mad at you.

不我没有生你气

I just...

我只是...

wish you would have come to me

希望你直接跟我说

so I didn't have to hear it through the nerd vine.

而不是让我从某些书呆口中听到

So what are we gonna do

那我们该怎么办

You really want me to sign a prenup

你真的想让我签婚前协议吗

I don't know.

我不知道

My dad's pretty insistent on it though.

虽然我爸在这点态度上非常强硬

Why don't I talk to your dad man to man

何不让我跟你爸谈谈来个男人之间的对话

Really Oh that'd be so great

真的吗那太好了

Done.

就这么说定了

I should probably give you a heads up about a couple of things.

我先警告你一些注意事项

Even though he's retired from the police force

虽然我爸已经从警局退休了

he still carries his gun.

他还是配着枪

But don't worry he won't shoot it.

但别担心他不会开枪的

It's more of a fashion statement.

更多是想彰显自己时髦

Okay.

好的

And just to be safe when you talk to him

为安全起见你跟他谈的时候

don't bring up Jimmy Carter gardeners

千万别提起吉米·卡特园艺师

吉米·卡特:美国第39届总统 2002年诺贝尔和平奖获得者

foreign people homosexuals Sean Penn

外国人同性恋者西恩·潘

Vatican II gun control organic food

第二次梵蒂冈大公会议枪支管理法有机食品

the designated hitter rule recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.

指定打击规则资源回收或你是犹太人的事实

Got it got it.

明白明白

Will you e mail me that list

把这单子电邮给我吧

So the thing to watch for

所以要当心的是

if he's shouting at you you're okay

若他冲你吼那就没事

but if he starts to get real quiet

但若他开始变得沉默

leave as quickly as you can without making eye contact.

千万别跟他目光接触有多快就跑多块

Not in a straight line throw some zigs and zigs in there.

切勿跑直线要之字形逃命

You know this isn't that pressing.

反正这事也不是迫在眉睫

Why don't I talk to him about it in May.

不如等五月份我再找他谈吧

In May you're gonna be on the International Space Station.

五月你就上国际空间站了

They got a phone.

空间站也有电话的嘛

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