生活大爆炸-S02E12_生活大爆炸

S01

All right that's the last servo.

好了最后一个部件

Behold the Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator.

人家看到的是全方位运动销毁终结切割器

Or...MONTE.

或者 Mont-E

Featuring one articulated razor sharp killing saw one polycarbonate grinding and flipping wheel

装有铰接式锋利锯齿聚碳酸脂磨刀和转动轮

steel armor plate exoskeleton top and bottom and enough horsepower to drive a 110 pounds of mechanized death

从上到下为钢制金属板外壳其马力足以将110磅的机械

from zero to holy crap in 4.8 seconds.

彻底毁灭只需短短4.8秒

Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot

如果说我爱我们的机器人杀手是不是大罪过?

As with my father I both love and fear it.

跟对我爸爸一样我既爱它又怕它

All right enough chitchat. Let's destroy something.

好了废话少说我们来搞点破坏

1 2 3

1,2,3

Okay. What shall be first to taste the wrath of Monte

好了让谁先来尝尝猛械的厉害

Maybe we should start small.

也许我们该从小的东西开始

Okay. Oh perhaps today is the day we finally find out...

好吧也许今天我们最终可以搞清楚这个魔法球里有什么了

Did it when I was four.

我四岁时就做过了

It's an icosahedral dye floating in tinted blue water.

是个二十面体染色物在蓝水里漂浮

Man call "spoiler alert" before you say things like that.

老兄说之前给个"剧透"警告好吧

How about the toaster oven

烤面包机怎么样?

What did the toaster oven ever do to you

烤面包机咋得罪你了?

What did I ever do to Jimmy Mullins in the third grade

三年级时我又咋得罪吉姆·马林斯了?

He still punched me in the face with my own fists.

他照样用我的拳头朝我的脸打了一拳

Sorry you little nerd you were just in the wrong boys' room at the wrong time.

抱歉可爱的小呆子你在错误的时间出现错误的房间

Gentlemen goggles.

同志们护眼镜

This is an auspicious moment.

这可是个历史性的时刻

制造第一枚核武器和第一次登月

Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong

就像罗伯特·奥本海默和尼尔·阿姆斯壮

we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event.

我们得编句合适的台词来纪念这个有历史意义的科学事件

How about "Die toaster die"

"死吧烤面包机去死吧!"怎么样?

That'll do it.

我看行

All right what's next

好啦接下来砍什么?

No I think I'm just going to stay in tonight and do laundry.

不了我今晚要呆在家里洗衣服

Oh yeah this door got the full Monte.

噢耶这门被猛械毁了

Leonard

莱纳德?

What the hell

怎么回事?

Killer robot. We built it.

机器人杀手我们造的

Yeah well it almost killed me.

是吗它差点杀了我

If it wanted to kill you you'd be dead.

它要是想杀你你早死了

So who exactly does it want to kill

那么它到底想杀谁?

I'm sorry are you unaware of the upcoming Southern California Robot Fighting League Round Robin Invitational

抱歉难道你不知道即将举行的南加州机器人格斗循环邀请赛?

You know since I moved last year not all my mail has been forwarded.

知道吗从我去年搬来以后不是所有的邮件都被转寄掉

It's a big deal.

这可是件大事

There's an awards banquet and a dance afterward.

会有颁奖宴会还有舞会

Perhaps you'd like to come with me.

也许你会想跟我一起去

I know the other fellas would be really excited to see a girl there.

我相信其他人看见女生肯定会很兴奋

How is it supposed to be a dance if I'm the only girl

如果就我一个女生去怎么能叫舞会呢?

Well that may be a slight exaggeration.

好吧也许这么说有点夸张

You'd be the only doable girl.

你是唯一可以上的女孩

You're a pig Howard.

你是头猪霍华德

How is "doable" anything but a compliment

"可以上"是在赞美你没别的意思

Howard why don't we just work on the robot

霍华德我们还是搞机器人吧

Please Leonard not now.

拜托莱纳德现在不是时候

Once again Penny and I have begun our little tango.

又一次佩妮和我开始了我们的双人探戈

Our tango

我们的探戈?

The carnal repartee the erotic to and fro.

肉体的博弈性欲的推拉

But as delicious as the appetizer might be

尽管开胃菜很美味

at some point we will have to succumb and eat the entr e while it's still...

我们还是该屈从吃下主菜趁它还是...

hot.

热的

I'm begging you stop talking.

求你了不要再说了

Look normally I can just ignore you.

听着通常呢我无视你就好了

I mean I get it you're a little peculiar.

我知道你有点古怪

You know like Sheldon.

就像谢尔顿

Excuse me Penny but in this room you're the one who's peculiar.

抱歉佩妮但是在这间屋里你才是古怪的那个

Yeah you might be right.

嗯也许你说的对

But back to you.

但是回到你身上

I know you think you're some sort of smooth talking ladies' man

我知道你认为自己是个能言善辩的少女杀手

but the truth is you are just pathetic and creepy.

但事实是你很可悲又恶心

So what are you saying

那么啥意思呢?

I am saying it is not a compliment to call me "doable."

我的意思是说我是"可以上的" 根本就不是啥赞美

It's not sexy to stare at my ass and say Ooh

盯着我的屁股看并说 "喔~ 这肯定是果冻"

it must be jelly 'cause jam don't shake like that.

"因为果酱不会这样晃动" 一点也不性感

And most important we are not dancing a tango we're not to'ing and fro'ing.

还有最重要的我们没有在跳探戈我们没有你推我拉

Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Ever.

我们之间不会有什么永远不会

Wait a minute. This isn't flirting. You're serious.

等一下这不是在调情你在说真的?

Flirting You think I'm flirting with you

调情? 你认为我在跟你调情?

I am not flirting with you.

我根本没有在和你调情

No woman is ever gonna flirt with you.

没有女人会和你调情

You're just gonna grow old and die alone.

你只会慢慢变老孤独而终

Thanks for the heads up.

谢谢你的提醒

Howard where you going

霍华德你去哪里?

I'm going home to live my creepy pathetic life.

我回家继续过我的恶心的可悲的人生

Well someone had to say it.

总得有人说吧

What

什么?

He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot competition.

他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛

Howard the phone is ringing

霍华德电话在响!

Here's a crazy idea Ma Answer it

我有个疯狂的主意老妈接电话如何!

Hello

你好?

All right hold on.

好的稍等

It's your friend Leonard

是你朋友莱纳德!

He wants to know why you're not at school today

他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!

I don't go to school Ma. I work at a university.

我不是去上学老妈我在大学就职

That's a school Now pick up the phone

那就是学校! 快接电话!

I don't want to talk to anybody.

我谁都不想理

Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework

要我叫莱纳德把你的家庭作业带来吗?

I don't have homework.

我没什么家庭作业的

I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering

我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们

Excuse me Mr. Fancy Pants.

抱歉了不起先生

Want me to get you a Popsicle

想吃冰棒吗?

Cherry please

樱桃味的好吧!

I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.

樱桃味的我吃了只剩蔬菜味的了

You make me want to kill myself.

你让我真想自杀呀

What's going on

怎么了?

I don't know now they're just yelling about Popsicles.

不知道他们正为冰棒问题吵呢

Sounds like Penny really got to him.

好像佩妮真地伤到他了

I'm not surprised.

我觉得不意外呀

Despite his hard and crusty shell Howard is a very sensitive man.

尽管霍华德用坚强的外壳来保护自己其实他是个非常敏感的人

Do you know he writes poetry

知道他还写诗吗?

Mostly about men from Nantucket and hermits named Dave

大多是关于来自楠塔基特岛的人和叫戴维的隐居士

but he does it with real sensitivity.

但他是用心去写的

Hey Hofstadter.

嘿霍夫施塔特

Word around the pwasma wab is you built a wobot

等离止誓验室谣传你们在造机器银

Yes we did Kripke.

对我们造了克里帕奇

His name is Monte.

他名叫猛械

Well if you have any dewusions about entering him against my wobot

如果你着梦操控他来南加州机器银格斗循环邀请晒

the Kwipke Kwippler in the Southern California Robot Fighting League Wound Wobin Invitational

对抗我克里帕奇克里骇人的机器银

aka the S.C.R.F.L.R.R.I.

又简称S.c.r.f.l.r.r.i

his name is gonna be Swrap Metal.

他就该改名叫金属废物银了

Come on is that really necessary

得了吧真的非要这样吗?

Leonard I believe it is.

莱纳德看来需要的

This is trash talk and trash talk is a traditional component in all sporting events.

这是上场前嘴上较劲是所有竞技的传统部分

Kripke your robot is inferior and it will be defeated by ours

克里帕奇你的机器人很差劲会败在我们的脚下

because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution.

因为我们在设计与做工上都超越你

Also I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight.

还有我听说你老妈是肥婆

Oh snap.

哇够狠呀

Now of course if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony

当然如果是腺分泌的关系而没有懒散和贪食

I withdraw that comment.

我收回我的批判

What difference does it make Fat is fat.

哪有什么区别?胖还是胖呀

There are boundaries.

有分界线的

Tell you what forget the S.C.R.F.L.R.R.I.

听好了忘了S.c.r.f.l.r.r.i.

Wet's settle this woboto a woboto.

偶棉来个机器银一对一吧

What do you mean

什么意思?

There's no guarantee we're gonna go against each other in the Wound Wobin

循环晒上我们不一定碰得上

so let's throw down.

咱现在就对决吧

You know unless you're afwaid.

要是怕怕就算鸟

We accept your challenge. Name a time and place.

我们接受你的挑战定个时间和地点吧

Tomorrow 3 00 the kinetics wab.

明天 3:00 动力学实验室

Make it so.

就这么说定了

No don't make it so. Barry we can't fight you tomorrow.

不别定下来贝瑞我们明天不能和你战斗

Our engineer is incapacitated.

我们的工程师崩溃了

What's wrong with him

他怎么了?

He's depressed because he's pathetic and creepy and can't get girls.

他可悲又古怪找不到女人所以他抑郁了

We're all pathetic and cweepy and can't get girls.

我们都可悲又古怪找不到女人

That's why we fight wobots.

所以我们才玩机器银格斗

If you're not there you'll be exposed to widicule.

如果不出现就等着当笑柄吧

I'm curious what part of America is that accent from

我很好奇他这说的是啥方言啊?

Hey you got a minute

嘿有时间吗?

Yeah come on in. What's up

有进来吧啥事呢?

I need you to apologize to How... Get out.

- 我需要你去给霍华德道... - 滚出去

Come on. Wolowitz won't come out of his house and we need him for a robot battle.

行行好吧沃尔伍兹不肯出来我们的机器人大战需要他呀

Well then have the robot go and get him.

那让机器人找他去

The robot didn't hurt his feelings.

机器人又没伤他自尊

His feelings needed to be hurt.

他就是欠骂

He's been in bed for two days.

他躺在床上两天了

Yeah probably with a blow up doll.

那也好可能是和充气娃娃玩呢

He's not with a...

他没有和...

Does it really matter who or what he's with

他和谁在一起玩真的重要吗?

The guy is devastated.

那家伙崩溃了

Oh please how could I possibly devastate Howard

请问我怎么可能把霍华德弄崩溃?

Okay don't take this as a criticism

好吧我不是批评你

but you kind of have that overexposed to gamma rays thing going on.

但你有时会发生暴露在致命的伽马射线之下那种状况

What does that mean

那啥意思?

You know like most of the time you're the easygoing Bruce Banner

比如大多数时候你是和气的你

but then when you get angry you kind of turn into like you know...

但当你生气时就好像变成了...

I turn into a bear

成熊了?

Seriously Gamma rays Bruce Banner

不是吧? 伽马射线? 你?

You didn't get The Incredible Hulk from that

这都联想不到绿巨人?

Never mind. Just please go talk to him.

没关系只是请你去和他谈谈

And say what That I didn't mean it because I meant it.

说啥呀? 说我并不是那个意思可我就是那个意思呀

Well maybe you can go at it from a different angle like um

也许你可以从另外一个角度来谈比如嗯

you see a glimmer of goodness in him and you only said what you said

你在他身上看到善良的闪光点你那天那么说只是

because you want to nurture it and make it shine.

因为你想鼓舞它让它放大闪光

Okay let's try it this way.

好吧试试这个方法呢

Remember the day that we first met

还记得我们邂逅那天

and you asked me to go to your boyfriend's apartment to get your TV back

你让我去你男朋友家里替你把电视要回来

and he was nine feet tall and he took my pants off and you said...

他有九英尺高把我裤子都扒了然后你说...

What was that What did you say

什么来着? 你说什么来着?

Oh yes. You said you owed me one.

噢对了你说你欠我个人情

Okay come on that's not fair.

嗷得了吧这不公平

I came home with no pants.

我没穿裤子就回家了

Fine I'll go over there tomorrow.

得我明天去一趟

Thank you.

多谢

I should probably give you a heads up about his mother.

我该提醒你要当心他妈妈

What about her

她怎么了?

She's a delightful woman. You'll love her.

她是个讨喜的人你会爱上她的

Howard there's a blonde girl Patsy here to see you

霍华德有个叫帕西的金发女郎来找你!

Who

谁?

Okay now she's saying it's Penny.

噢这回她又说自己叫佩妮

I don't want to talk to her.

我不想同她说话

妈!

She ran past me.

她径自跑了过去

Was I supposed to tackle her

我应该把她扑倒?

So I just came by to see how you were doing.

呃我只是过来看看你怎么样了

I'm fine.

我没事

Good. Your mom seems nice.

很好你妈妈看上去不错

People move away from her on the bus.

她坐公车的时候别人都离她远远的

What do you want

有何贵干?

Okay look. Howard I just want to apologize.

好听着霍华德我是来道歉的

For some things that I have said.

为我说的一些话道歉

About you.

关于你的话

I've been informed that you have feelings.

有人告诉我说你也是有感情的

And apparently I have hurt them.

而显而易见的是我伤害了它们

So I'm sorry.

所以我很抱歉

Howard.

霍华德

Fine. You're sorry. Good bye.

好你很抱歉再见了

So... you're okay

那么... 你还好吧?

Hey I'm a big boy.

嘿我是个大男孩

I'm not traumatized by some random comment from some random woman.

我不会因为某个女人的随意评论而受创伤的

I mean get over yourself.

我是说你别臭美了

Okay. Well bye.

好那么再见了

So close.

就差一点儿

Oh my God. That's Kripke's robot

噢我的天呐那是克里帕奇的机器人?

As you can see the Kwippler is weducing the Chevy Cavawier to wubble.

如你所见克里骇人正把这辆雪佛兰跑车史得粉碎

I can't watch anymore.

我不能再看下去了

Sheldon we have to call it off.

谢尔顿我们得叫停它

We don't have that option.

没有这个选项

We've accepted the challenge.

我们接受了挑战

We can't run away from a fight.

我们不能临阵退缩

Oh please we've spent our whole lives running away from fights.

噢得了吧我们不是一直都在临阵退缩么

Personally I can squeeze through a hole in a fence half my size.

个人而言我都能从比我小一半的篱笆墙当中找个洞钻过去

Impressive as that may be Monte is not us.

你说的可能没错但猛械可不是我们

Monte has no fear.

猛械无所畏惧

Sheldon did we all not just watch the same video

谢尔顿难道我们看的不是同一个录像?

Kripke's robot just had angry sex with a mid sized automobile.

克里帕奇的机器人刚刚虐完一辆中型汽车

You are overlooking the fact that we now know what we're up against

但你忽视了一个事实我们已经对敌人了如指掌

and we can modify Monte so that he's prepared.

所以我们可以改装猛械让他做好迎战的准备

You want to prepare him

你想让他做好准备?

Install a bladder and a pair of shorts so he can wet himself.

给他装个膀胱再穿条短裤他就可以吓得尿裤子了

Excuse me but how are we going to make any modifications without Wolowitz

抱歉不过没有沃尔伍兹我们怎么进行改装?

Have you heard from Penny yet Not yet.

- 佩妮那有信了没? - 还没

Have faith gentlemen. We don't need Wolowitz.

打起自信来先生们我们不需要沃尔伍兹帮忙

Engineering is merely the slow younger brother of physics.

工程学只是物理学发育迟缓的小弟罢了

Watch and learn.

瞧好了学着点

Do either of you know how to open the toolbox

你们俩有谁知道怎么开工具箱么?

And then when I was 14 I met Marcy Grossman.

之后在我十四岁的时候我遇见了马尔西·格罗斯曼

She was so beautiful.

她是拉摸美丽

She just got her braces off but they left a little of the overbite.

她刚摘掉牙套但还是有点龅牙

It was so hot.

真是火辣

Like a sexy little chipmunk.

就像只性感的小花栗鼠

I didn't have the courage to ask her out

我没有勇气约她出来

but I dedicated a song to her at the ninth grade talent show.

但我在初三的才艺表演上给她献了一首歌

Aw that sounds sweet.

喔真贴心

Marcy Grossman is sunshine

马尔西·格罗斯曼就是阴天的

On a cloudy day

一缕阳光

When it's cold outside

在天寒地冻时

Marcy Grossman is the month of May

马尔西·格罗斯曼就是那热情的五月

Oh it's cute.

噢真是可爱

I guess you'd say

我猜你会说

What can make me feel this way

什么才能让我有这种感觉

Marcy Grossman Marcy Grossman Marcy Grossman

马尔西·格罗斯曼,马尔西·格罗斯曼,马尔西·格罗斯曼

Talkin' 'bout Marcy That's great.

- 谈论着马尔西 - 真棒

Grossman.

格罗斯曼

Oh it's fun.

噢真有意思

And then she came up with that sexy little chipmunk mouth

然后她撅着那张性感的花栗鼠小嘴

and spit in my hair.

朝我头发上淬了口唾沫

Which brings us to tenth grade.

之后就是高一的事了

Howard do you think maybe sometimes you try too hard

霍华德你觉不觉得有时自己太心急太过火了?

Look at me.

看看我嘛

What chance do I have if I don't try too hard

太心急太过火我怎么可能会有机会?

Well... you'd have a terrific chance.

这... 你的机会大大的有

I mean you're smart you're funny. You have a cool job.

你聪明风趣又有份好工作

You build stuff that goes into outer space.

你做那个飞到外太空的东西

I guess.

也是啊

Look I'm telling you I've known you for like a year and a half

跟你说哦我认识你也有一年半了

and this is the first time I feel like I'm talking to a real person.

这次我才觉得我是在跟你真人讲话

And you know what I like him. He's a nice guy.

而且你知道不我喜欢他他人不错

You really think so

你真的这么想的?

Yes.

是啊

I don't know.

这我还真的不知道

I do.

我知道

Nice little bot you've got here.

你这小机器人不错嘛

I'm aware.

这我知道

What's this do spin Yep. At 3400 RPM.

- 这是干嘛用的? 转齿? - 对 3400转每分钟

It can cut through steel like it was wubber.

它切钢就像切橡皮一样

Neat.

Good work.

做得不错

Sheldon we've got to call this off.

谢尔顿我们要赶快取消

No Leonard.

不要莱纳德

For years merciless thugs like Kripke have made my life a series of painful noogies

多少年了像克里帕奇一样的无良恶霸让我的生活悲惨不堪

抓住手臂来回扭以产生剧痛

and humiliating wedgies and the insensitively named Indian burns.

既被痛打又受尽凌辱还有印第安刑

That stops now.

这些就此打住!

But Sheldon we don't have a chance.

可是谢尔顿我们没可能的

The only improvement you were able to make on the robot was to put fresh batteries in the remote.

你现在能给这机器人改进的就是给它遥控器换块新电池

What you fail to realize is Kripke suffers from a fatal flaw

你没发觉的是克里帕奇有一个致命伤

overconfidence from his robot's massive size and its overwhelming power.

他对机器人大体积超能量的过度自信

That's not overconfidence. That's observation.

那不是过度自信那叫观察

Trust me Kripke will fall easy prey to my psychological warfare. Observe.

信我克里帕奇很快就会倒在我的心理战上的观察吧

Kripke.

克里帕奇

I would ask if your robot is prepared to meet its maker but as you are its maker

我想问下你的机器人准备好见它制作人没不过既然你是他的制作人了

clearly the two of you have met.

很明显你们是见过面了

What is his pwoblem

他脑子怎么鸟?

Way to bust out the Jedi mind tricks dude.

学绝地武士心理战还差得远伙计

I just want to make sure that we're all clear.

我只是想确认下我们说好了

Standard robotic fighting league rules apply.

按照标准机器人格斗联盟规则

Are you cwazy This is a stweet fight.

你是疯了不成? 这是个街战

The stweet has no rules.

街战哪有什么规则的?

He's right Leonard. The paradigm is to the death.

他说得对莱纳德一直到死为直

I will however give you the opportunity to concede my superiority now

不过我现在给你们个机会承认我是比你们优越

and offer me your robot as the spoils of war.

然后把你的机器人给我当战利品

Never.

永远都没可能!

I'd rather see Monte dead than in your hands.

我宁愿猛械死都不要落到你手里

That could be easily arranged.

那真是小菜一碟

Ready set go

各就各位准备开始?

Do it.

来吧

All right then. Weady. Set. Go.

那好吧预备开始

Come on Sheldon you got this.

来吧谢尔顿你可以的

Indeed. We are prepared for anything he can throw at us.

当然我们做好了万全准备他怎么对我们都不怕

That's new.

这招是新的

Run Monte run Go Monte

- 逃啊猛械! 逃! - 闪啊 Mont!

Monte Go go go go

- 猛械! - 跑! 跑! 跑! 跑!

Don't hurt us don't hurt us don't hurt us

别伤害我们! 别伤害我们! 别伤害我们!

Well so much for making up for the emotional wounds of childhood.

好了弥补儿时心灵创伤就到此为止了

I did this.

是我干的

Monte was killed by my hubris and my pride.

猛械被杀都是因为我的傲慢跟自大

No matter what anybody says this is my fault.

不管别人怎么说这都是我的错

No one's arguing with you dude.

又没人在跟你争

I got your text. How bad is... Oy.

我收到你短信了它有多烂... 噢

Forget the robot. What happened to you

先别管那机器人了你是怎么了?

He slipped and fell.

他不小心滑倒了

Yes I slipped and fell. In the bathroom.

是我不小心滑倒了还是在浴室里

Bounced right off the tub.

被浴缸弹起来了

Yes now he knows what bathtubs are capable of doing when you don't treat them with respect.

对现在他知道了如果他不尊重浴缸的话浴缸会给他好看的

Yeah.

那是

They sucker punch you when your eyes are closed.

趁你闭眼时就给你一拳

So what do you think Howard

你觉得怎样霍华德?

It's not that bad right

也不算很烂对吧?

Oh no. A little electrical tape some solder... Are you insane

噢不算用点电线包布一些焊剂... 你是疯了还是怎样?!

I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this.

太空探测器坠毁在沙漠都比这死相好看

You're right. Monte's gone.

你说得对猛械走了

We'll bury him in the morning. A simple ceremony. I'll speak.

我们明早去埋了它做个简单的仪式我来主持

Leonard you'll play your cello.

莱纳德你要拉你的大提琴

Sheldon honey aren't you getting a little carried away

谢尔顿亲爱的你是不是有点走火入魔了?

I mean it's just a toy robot.

我是说这不就是个机器人嘛

Just a toy robot

不就是个机器人嘛?

Penny.

佩妮

I know I got it.

我知道了这就去

Sheldon I'm sorry.

谢尔顿对不起

Well don't get the wrong idea.

别以为我吃亏了

The way I see it I'm halfway to pity sex.

在我看来她很快就会因为同情然后跟我做爱了

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