生活大爆炸-S04E09_生活大爆炸

S01

Oh gee Dad Leonard can't stay.

老爸莱纳德没时间

You know who's gonna be the bravest person in the Marvel Universe

你知道漫画英雄世界里谁最有种吗

Whoever has to give She Hulk a bikini wax.

能给女浩克做比基尼蜜蜡除毛的最有种

You want to talk brave

要说有种嘛

how about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener

美国队长那位从墨西哥偷渡过来的园丁怎么样

(超级英雄被视为美国精神的象征)

He's not braver than whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing

他比不上那个每次办完事后都上厕所的哥们

As usual you're all wrong.

果不其然你们又错了

The bravest person in the Marvel Universe

漫画英雄世界里最有种的人

is the doctor who gives Wolverine his prostate exam.

是那位给金刚狼做前列腺检查的医生

How about the guy who gets a prostate exam from Wolverine

那被金刚狼做前列腺检查的哥们儿呢

Now you're just being silly.

你这是抬杠吧

Wolverine's never displayed

金刚狼可从来没表示过

the slightest interest in helping others

对帮助他人预防前列腺癌的

prevent prostate cancer.

有一点点兴趣

Hello.

喂

Yes the elevator's out of order

对电梯坏掉了

you'll have to use the stairs.

你得爬楼梯了

Of course you can.

你当然可以

Pizza dates back to the 16th century

披萨的历史可以追溯到16世纪

while the first elevator was not installed until 1852.

可世界上第一部电梯1852年才面世

That means that for over 300 years

也就是说在三百多年的时间里

people carried pizzas up stairs.

人们都是爬楼梯送披萨的

Be part of that proud tradition.

请继承这一光荣传统吧

I'll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food.

趁他往披萨上吐口水的功夫我去叫佩妮过来

Do you think they gave Wolverine an adamantium prostate

你觉得金刚狼是不是有个金刚不坏前列腺呢

That's a stupid question.

这问题真傻逼

We're having a conversation about probing the heinie of superheroes.

我们不是在讨论如何检查超级英雄的菊花吗

There are no stupid questions.

这有什么傻逼的

Yes

找谁啊

Oh um is Penny here

哦佩妮在吗

You're Leonard right

你就是莱纳德对吗

Yeah.

对啊

Damn it's good to finally meet you son.

妈的终于见到你了小子

Okay I think a bit of context here might help.

有谁能给我补充点背景知识吗

Oh hey Leonard. I see you met my dad.

嗨莱纳德你见过我爸爸了

Oh good.

哇好了

Context.

背景清楚了

Come on in buddy.

进来吧伙计

Take a load off.

进来坐会儿

He just dropped by to say hello.

他只是顺道来打招呼的

Thanks for stopping by sweetie.

谢谢你过来亲爱的

I'll see you later.

咱俩回聊

Bye.

拜

That was odd.

真诡异

Are you sure you have enough comics

你确定这点儿漫画书就够了吗

You're going to be monitoring the telescope for 12 hours

到时候你可得守12个小时的望远镜

and by my estimate you've only selected

而据我估算你挑的这些书

seven hours of reading material.

只够看7个小时的

That's even factoring in

我还算上了

your difficulty in parsing American comic book idioms

你纠结美国漫画书里这些俚语的时间

like "Bamf " and "Snikt "

比如"嘭" "唰"

Is that racist

他这算种族歧视吗

It feels racist.

我觉得挺像的

Don't be oversensitive.

别太敏感了

He's calling you illiterate not your race.

他是说你文盲又不是说印度人都文盲

Oh okay. Good.

哦那就好

I don't need more comics.

我不用再挑漫画书了

Howard's gonna stop by we're gonna play

霍华德到时候会过来我们会一起玩

Intergalactic Battleship and Indian Monopoly.

星际战舰和印度大富翁

I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly.

我可不喜欢大富翁的新版本

I prefer the classics regular and Klingon.

我更喜欢经典的普通版的和克林贡版的

Actually Indian Monopoly's

其实印度大富翁

just like regular except the money's in rupees

和普通版差不多只是钱变成了卢比

instead of hotels you build call centers

酒店变成了呼叫中心而已

and when you pick a Chance card you might die of dysentery.

如果你抽机会卡有可能死于痢疾

Just FYI

顺便告诉你

that was racist.

这才叫种族歧视

You'll never guess what just happened.

你们肯定猜不到刚才发生了什么

You went out in the hallway

你走在去门厅的路上

stumbled into an interdimensional portal

一不小心跌进了异次元空间之门

which brought you 5 000 years into the future

来到了5000年后的未来

where you took advantage of the advanced technology

然后你在那里利用当时的先进技术

to build a time machine and now you're back

造了一架时间机器现在你是回来

to bring us all with you to the year 7010

接我们去7010年

where we are transported to work at the Thinkatorium

那时候我们就能被派到飞海豚利用通灵术

by telepathically controlled flying dolphins

控制的思维水族馆工作了

No.

错

Penny kissed me.

佩妮刚才吻了我

Well who would ever guess that

这怎么猜得出来

What what kind of a kiss

是是哪种吻啊

A big kiss. On the mouth.

长吻啊嘴对嘴的

Is it possible that she was going for your cheek

会不会是她本来想吻你的脸的

and you moved and she accidentally got lip

结果你的脸一偏她就亲到嘴唇了

That happens with me and my mom all the time.

我跟我妈经常这样

She introduced me to her father

她跟她老爸介绍了我

kissed me and then shut the door in my face.

吻完我以后就当我面把门关了

Maybe she was trying to send you a message.

也许这是暗示

You think

真的吗

Yeah. "This man is not my father.

是啊暗示"这个男的不是我爸爸

I'm being held hostage.

我被挟持了

So I'm going to do

所以我要做一些

something insane in the hopes

疯狂之举好暗示你

that you'll call 911."

去报警"

Penny kissing me is not insane.

佩妮吻我可不是什么疯狂之举

She used to kiss me all the time.

她以前经常吻我的

Einstein defined insanity as "Doing the same thing

爱因斯坦对精神病的定义是 "翻来覆去地

over and over again and expecting different results."

重复一件事并期冀得到不同的结果"

By that standard

根据这个标准

Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

佩妮病得不轻

I'm just saying

我只是觉得

it felt like it may have meant something.

那个吻有些意味深长

Ah this takes me back.

这话让我想起从前了

Leonard obsessing about Penny.

那时候佩妮让莱纳德如此着迷

I mean don't get me wrong I love your new stuff

别误会我挺喜欢你现在的状态

but once in a while it's nice to hear the hits.

但偶尔听听你的痴情独白还是蛮有意思的

Do "Our babies will be smart and beautiful."

你再说一遍"我们的孩子会才貌双全"

That one always makes me laugh.

每次想起这句话我就笑得不行

Why do I bother talking to you people

我真是吃饱了撑着跟你们聊天

If it'll make you feel better we rarely listen.

我想说其实我们根本没在听可能你会感觉好点

Hey can I talk to you out here for a sec

能出来说句话吗

Yeah sure.

当然

I'm starting to think we're never going to see that pizza.

我有预感那个披萨永远也不会送来了

So you're probably wondering what that was all about.

你可能在琢磨刚才是怎么回事

What uh the kissing and everything

什么你指你吻我那件事吗

Nah women do that to me all the time.

没什么经常有女人对我这样的啦

Yeah okay. The thing is I kind of

好吧实际上我貌似

told my father we got back together again.

跟我爸说我们又在一起了

What Why

什么为什么

Well you're the first guy

你是至今以来

he's ever really approved of you know

第一个被他认可的人知道吗

You're a scientist who went to college

你是个上过大学的科学家

and you don't have a neck tattoo

你脖子上没有纹身

or outstanding warrants or...or a baby.

不是通缉犯也没孩子

What kind of guys did you used to go out with

你以前都跟什么人在一起啊

Just guys.

就是一般人呗

Anyway when I told him we split up he was heartbroken

总之他知道我们分手了以后伤心的要命

and he kept bugging me "How's Leonard

他总是问我莱纳德好吗

Why can't you get back together with Leonard

你为什么就不能跟莱纳德和好呢

I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself."

我敢说莱纳德从来不会惹祸上身

So to get him off my back

所以为了让他不再烦我

I told him we worked things out.

我就跟他说咱俩和好了

Really

是吗

How how'd we manage that

咱俩是怎么和好的

What

什么

I mean did you apologize

你道歉了吗

Did you have to woo me

还是你跑来追我了

Get over yourself.

少做白日梦了

I whistled you came running.

我一个口哨你就冲过来了

Yeah no I don't think so.

是吗我可不这么认为

Okay why are you arguing about this

好吧你干吗要跟我争这个

I'm just saying

我只是想说

if we fake got back together

如果我们假装和好

that's totally not how it fake happened.

那也肯定不是这么和好的

Okay whatever.

好吧随便啦

Will you please just play along until my dad leaves

你能不能就跟我装到我爸离开为止

Hold on you actually want me

等一下你真的想让我

to deceive your father with some sort of

用我的演技和吻功

sham playacting and kissing

来瞒过你老爸吗

'Cause I'm good with that.

我可是这方面的高手

Penny you out here

佩妮你在外面吗

Come on honey not in front of my dad.

拜托亲爱的别当着我老爸这样啊

Relax I've seen you do a lot worse

别担心我看过你跟烂得多的人

with a lot stupider.

干过严重得多的事呢

See He doesn't mind.

看吧他不介意

So Leonard I'm taking your gal out

莱纳德我准备带你的女朋友

for a steak dinner you want to join us

去吃牛排你要一起来吗

Oh Dad that's nice but Leonard has to work.

爸你真好人但是莱纳德还要工作呢

Right Leonard

对吧莱纳德

Uh I do I have to work.

没错我要工作

But I'm gonna blow that off to spend the evening

但我决定丢下工作来陪我的宝贝儿

with my sweetie and her father 'cause you know

和她的父亲因为

just the kind of boyfriend I am.

我就是这种体贴的男朋友

Come here you.

过来吧宝贝儿

C 7

C-7.

Miss.

错了

How could that be a miss

怎么会错呢

C 6 was a hit C 8 was a hit.

C-6中了 C-8也中了

Part of your starship has to be on C 7.

你的飞船肯定有一部分是在C-7上的

Not if it has a hole in the middle.

除非飞船上有个洞

What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle

什么飞船上会有洞呀

A Romulan Battle Bagel

罗慕伦战斗百吉饼

Knock knock.

敲敲

Oh great you made it.

太好了你来了

Come on in.

快进来

I invited her.

是我请她来的

So where's the telescope

望远镜在哪

It's in Hawaii but Raj controls it from here.

在夏威夷但是拉杰可以在这里控制

He's hoping to see Epsilon Eridani dim which would be

他想观测波江座ε星云从而证明

evidence of a planet orbiting it.

有行星围绕它的轨道运行

So we just sit and stare at the screen

所以我们就坐在这盯着屏幕

waiting for something to happen

然后干等吗

I did it with you when we rented the Note Book.

咱俩租《恋恋笔记本》看的时候不就这样吗

Yes Gena Rowlands is a treasure.

没错吉娜·罗兰兹是很漂亮

You'd better open up that bottle of wine

你最好把那瓶酒开了

or I'm gonna end up with swimmer's ear.

不然我的耳朵里就全是他的口水了

Excuse me.

不好意思

I can't be drinking I'm about to make

我不能喝酒我就要完成

an important scientific discovery here.

一个重大的科学发现了

What Galileo did his best work while drinking wine.

什么伽利略的伟绩都是喝着酒完成的

How do you know that

你怎么知道

Well he was Italian.

他是意大利人

It's a reasonable assumption.

意大利人不都这样吗

Dude can you even open your mouth

伙计你是不是一张嘴

without spewing a cultural stereotype

就要一棒子打死一个民族呀

Oh I I'm sorry Galileo drank Diet Sprite.

好吧对不起伽利略喝健怡雪碧

Look you're my best friend she's my girlfriend

你是我的死党她是我女朋友

you should bond.

你们应该培养感情

You know like you and my mom did.

就像你跟我妈那样

Your mom creeps the hell out of me.

你妈吓死我了

Yes but she's stopped calling you Slumdog Millionaire.

是但她不再叫你贫民窟的百万富翁了

I do appreciate that.

这点我的确很感激她

Here we go.

酒来了

I'd like to propose a toast.

我想敬个酒

To science and friendship.

敬科学和友谊

Hold on. Wait.

等等等一下

No it's okay go ahead.

不没事了喝吧

What

怎么了

Oh I was working with

我今天在实验室里

penicillin resistant gonorrhea in the lab today

研究抗青霉素的淋病

and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands.

所以我刚才在回忆我有没有洗手

Thanks for the steak Wyatt.

谢谢你请我吃牛排怀特

My pleasure.

不用客气

It's nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Penny's

能跟佩妮找的会用餐巾的男朋友

that knows how to use a napkin.

一起吃饭是件好事

So not funny Dad.

不好笑老爸

Let me tell you about this one genius she was going out with

我跟你介绍一下她之前的男朋友

this this fella Donnie.

那个叫多尼的家伙吧

Oh will you please let it go

你别再提了行不行

Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste

多尼准备把农场废物

into biofuel and selling it to the government.

转变成生物燃料然后买给政府

A lot of people are doing that.

很多人在干这行

Oh see

听到没

Yeah but all Donnie did was mix pig poop with a little water

但是多尼只是把猪粪混了点水

and pump it into his mom's Camry.

然后就灌进他妈的凯美瑞里

Yeah that's great.

真不错

It's a funny story. Moving on.

故事真好笑说别的吧

And Donnie was a rocket scientist

要是跟那个想把乒乓球啤酒游戏列入

compared to that boy

奥林匹克项目的家伙比的话

who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics.

多尼也算是个火箭科学家了

What was his name sweetheart

他叫什么名字啊宝贝儿

Curtis and I'm pretty sure he was joking.

柯蒂斯我肯定他在说笑

I don't know.

我也不知道

That petition looked real to me.

他还递了申请呢我看他挺认真的

Yeah okay I think this ends

好吧同志们该刹车了

the ex boyfriend portion of our evening.

今晚别再提起我前男友了

Well I'm just glad you finally found yourself a keeper.

我只是很高兴你终于找到了一位护花使者

Thanks Wyatt.

谢谢怀特

I'm a keeper.

我是护花使者哟

Leonard you want to come in for a nightcap

莱纳德来吃个宵夜吧

Oh gee Dad he'd love to

天老爸他也很想

but Leonard has to work in the morning.

但莱纳德明天一早要工作

Maybe I could go in a little late.

也许我能晚点去

No no no you can't.

不不不不行

Your career is far too important.

你的工作相当重要

Behind every great man is a nagging woman

每个成功的男人背后都有个唠叨的女人

who won't let him have any fun am I right Leonard

让他没法享乐子是吧莱纳德

Don't I know it.

可不是嘛

Well good night son.

晚安孩子

Good night Wyatt.

晚安怀特

Oh good night honey.

晚安亲爱的

Good night.

晚安

I love you.

我爱你

Love you too.

我也爱你

Oh friggety frak.

搞什么又当众闪光[Frak出自《BSG》科幻版Fuck]

Not this again.

有完没完

Three four five pass go get 2 000 rupees

3 4 6 过得到两千卢比[印度货币]

6 7

six, seven.

Whoops. Can't go any further. There's a sacred cow in my way.

哎呀不能走了一头圣牛挡住了我去路

Bernadette please tell your boyfriend

伯纳黛特你能不能告诉你男友

to cool it with the cow jokes.

别再纠结印度圣牛的笑话了

It won't help.

没用的

Once he finds a joke he likes he sticks with it.

他要是找到一个笑话就会一直讲个不停

Yeah.

没错

Like his haircut material.

就比如他理发那次

Oh right. Did you get your hair cut

是啊你理过发了吗

"No. I got them all cut."

"不我全部理光了"

Which is still so funny.

现在还是真好笑呀

And when you go to a Chinese restaurant

你去到一家中餐馆

he always gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie.

他每次都在幸运饼里拿到同一张纸条

Right. "Help I'm a prisoner

没错 "救命我是个囚犯"

in a Chinese fortune cookie factory."

"被关在中国幸运饼工厂里"

Okay I think that's enough about me.

好吧你们侃我侃够了吧

He's right. Let's make fun of his mother.

没错我们开始侃他老妈

"Howard come rub my feet

霍华德快来帮我搓脚

My corns are killing me "

我脚上的鸡眼痛死了

"Howard help me out of the tub

霍华德快把我从浴缸里拉起来

I'm stuck again "

我又卡在里面了

Coming.

来了

Hey lovebug.

你好呀小心肝

Shut up.

闭嘴

You know what I've been doing for the last hour

你知道前一个小时我都在做什么吗

Mm dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter"

在本子上涂鸦心目中的

in a notebook

"霍夫斯塔德太太"形象吗

Listening to my father go on and on

听我爸不停念叨

about what a great guy you are.

你是个多么棒的人

You got to admit I am... I'm delightful.

你得承认我的确很讨人喜欢

Why are you making this so difficult

你干嘛把事情搞这么复杂

It's not difficult for me.

哪里复杂了

I'm having fun.

我觉得很有趣

Leonard.

莱纳德

What do you want me to do You started this.

那你要我怎么样是你挑起来的

Do you want to go over and tell him we're broken up

你想过去告诉他我们分手了吗

No. Well then what do you want

-不想 -那你想怎么样

I don't know.

我不知道

Don't you think that's something you should

难道你在跑过来之前

have figured out before you stomped over here

不应该先想想清楚吗

Maybe.

好吧也许是

Leonard Penny excellent.

莱纳德佩妮刚好你们在

I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together

我想说我很高兴你们又在一起了

and if I can figure out a way to do so

如果我能有法子让自己显得更真诚些

and sound sincere I will.

我肯定会不遗余力

In the meantime

与此同时

I'd like to go over some proposed changes

我要对室友协议进行一些修订

to the roommate agreement specifically to address

特别要提出关于佩妮

Penny's annoying personal habits.

十分烦人的个人习惯

Oh my God.

我的老天

What personal habits I have a list.

-什么个人习惯 -我列了个单子

FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

顺便第12条就是"我的天啊"的滥用

Okay Sheldon you don't have to do this

好吧谢尔顿你没必要这么做

because Leonard and I are not... Ba ba ba ba.

-因为我和莱纳德不... -吡吡吡吡吡

Are you sure you want to include him in this

你确定要把他也牵扯进来吗

Include me in what

牵扯进什么东西

Is there a plot afoot

有什么正在策划中的阴谋?

I'll have no truck with plots.

我可绝对不参与阴谋

No you're right.

好吧你是对的

No there's... there's no plots no trucks no feet.

不不没有情节不用卡车也不用走路

So what other annoying habits shall we discuss

还有什么烦人的习惯要讨论

Uh we don't discuss anything.

我们不是讨论

Leonard is the signatory to the roommate agreement.

莱纳德签署了室友协议

As such he bears responsibility

所以他对你的违规行为

for all your infractions and must pay all fines.

负有全责并必须支付罚款

Fines Yes.

-罚款 -是的

If Penny's going to be spending nights here again

如果佩妮又要继续在这过夜

you'll need to set up an escrow account.

你就得建立一个托管帐户

Sign here.

在这签名

Hello Hawaii.

你好丫夏威夷

This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena.

我是帕萨迪纳市的库萨帕里博士

I'd like you to reposition the telescope please.

你想请你改放望远镜的位置

Scarlett Johansson's house

斯嘉丽·约翰逊的家[著名女演员超靓]

I'm kidding Hawaii.

开玩笑的啦夏威夷

Mahalo.

多谢啦[夏威夷语]

Whoo

嗷呜

It might have been a mistake

我们开第二瓶酒

to open that second bottle of wine.

根本就是个错误

Well live and learn.

吃一堑长一智嘛

So Raj do you think this planet you're looking for

拉杰你觉得你找的那个星球上

could have an atmosphere that supports life

拥有适合生命生存的环境吗

Maybe.

也许吧

If it did I'd be famous.

如果真是我就出名了

I'd be on the cover of magazines.

我会成为杂志封面人物

And then instead of living alone

那我就不用孤独一人住小公寓了

in my tiny apartment I'd have a big mansion.

而是能住大豪宅

That sounds great.

听起来真棒

It is.

的确

If you like wandering around a big empty house

如果你想一个人住空荡荡的房子

with no one to love you.

却没人爱着你

We'd come visit you. No you wouldn't.

-我们会去看你 -不会的

You'd be intimidated by my wealth and fame.

你们会被我的财富和名声吓倒

My only friends would be my genetically engineered monkey butler

我的朋友只有我那转基因的猴子管家

and the little people I hired to be my living chess set.

还有我雇来的那侏儒真人象棋

He's taking a turn to the dark side isn't he

他要开始变阴郁了吧

Hold on. He could come back.

再看看他说不定能恢复的

Oh what's the point of everything

哦这一切到底有何意义

Nope. He's gone.

没戏了他彻底醉了

You know it's been more than a year

你知道我已经超过一年

since I've even kissed a girl

没吻过姑娘了

What about that hookup at Comic Con you told me about

你跟我说的在动漫展搭上的那姑娘呢

Oh grow up. I was lying.

醒醒吧我在骗人

I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me.

我一直在骗人没人愿意吻我

Oh you poor poor thing.

可怜的小东西

Raj you have to know you're a wonderful man.

拉杰你得知道你这人很棒

There are a lot of girls out there who'll want to kiss you.

很多姑娘都会愿意吻你的

Where

在哪呢

You just have to look.

只要你努力找寻

Well this was fun.

这下好玩了

Oh I think I got a nibble.

哦有鱼咬钩了

Oh be careful.

小心点

Give him some line.

先放线

Okay now reel him in.

好了可以收线了

Oh look at that baby.

看看这鱼

They're really biting huh

咬得可真紧啊

Yeah. They do that when you set it on easy.

对你设定在"容易"时鱼儿都这样

Oh that's me.

是我的

Oh hi sweetie.

是我亲爱的

Yeah I got up early and didn't want to wake you

对我很早就起床了不想吵醒你

so I went out for coffee and ran into Leonard on the way back.

所以出去买咖啡了回来的时候碰到莱纳德

Guess what we're fishing.

你猜怎么着我们现在在钓鱼

Yeah. Right here on his couch.

对就坐在他们沙发上钓着呢

Hey baby. I love you

宝贝我爱你

That's Leonard.

是莱纳德

Says he loves you.

说他爱你

What

什么

I see.

我明白了

The whole thing's bull squirt huh

这些都是瞎编的是吗

Well that's very disappointing. Bye.

我真是失望再见

There's been something I've been meaning to tell you.

我一直有话想跟你说

I can't believe you would lie to me like that.

真不敢相信你们会这么骗我

Just for the record I did not want to be a part of this.

声明一下我也是身不由己的

I'll get to you in a minute.

我等下再找你算账

No hurry.

不急

That my own daughter thinks I don't love her enough

我的亲生女儿觉得我不够爱她到

to support her no matter what choices she makes

不管她怎么选择我都会支持她

well that hurts me deeply.

这太伤我心了

I'm sorry Daddy... Let me finish.

-抱歉老爸... -让我说完

I thought we were past the days

我还以为你已今非昔比了

when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes.

不会再蒙骗我了

Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri

说你内衣抽屉里的小袋子是香包

And the pee stick in your bathroom is to check for diabetes

卫生间里的验尿棒是查糖尿病的

You know I'm sorry.

对不起

You're a grown woman and I respect your right

你长大了我尊重你

to make your own decisions

让你自己作决定

but all I ask is you respect me enough

我只要求你也同样尊重我

to be honest about them.

要对我说实话

You're right. Look from now on I will tell you the truth.

你说得对从今以后我一定对你说实话

Thank you. Now why don't you go and put some clothes on

谢谢现在进去换件衣服

and we'll grab a bite to eat before I head for the airport.

趁我出发去机场前先去吃点东西

Now you... Daddy he had nothing to do...

-而你... -老爸他跟着没关系...

Keep walking. Okay.

-走你的 -好吧

Please please please don't give up on her.

求求你拜托你别放弃追她

What

什么

I can't go back to the skateboard idiots the white rappers

我不想再面对什么滑板白痴白人说唱歌手

and all those sweaty dumb asses with their backwards hats.

还有那些反戴帽子满身汗臭的蠢驴们

Gee I don't know if it's in the cards sir.

天我不知道我是否还有机会

Then stack the deck.

那就作弊

Cheat. Lie. I don't care.

欺骗撒谎我无所谓

I want grandkids before I die

我死前还想抱上外孙

and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels.

而且不想他们在活动房里长大

I'll give it a shot. Thank you.

-那我试试 -谢谢

Now I'm going to do something here to help you along.

现在我来做点事帮帮你

Excuse me Just don't panic.

-什么 -别怕就对了

Now get your sorry lying ass out of my face

你这个骗人的混蛋快给我滚蛋

and make sure I never see it again

别让我再看到你

Oh the reverse psychology thing. I see. That's very clever.

逆反心理我懂的真聪明

Don't yap. Just get out.

别说出来快出去

I'll friend you on Facebook.

我回去上Facebook加你好友

Oh there you are.

你来了

Just so you know I was up all night

跟你说我一晚没睡

but I have finally completed

终于完成了

the Penny specific section of the new roommate agreement.

针对佩妮部分的新室友协议

Yeah well not necessary. We broke up again.

不必了我们又分手了

Do you even think about other people Leonard

你有没有为别人着想过莱纳德

Do you

你想过没有

Oh how'd it go last night

昨晚怎么样

Oh you know.

你知道的

Same old same old.

都一样的没啥变化

Looked through a telescope saw some stars. Big whoop.

通过望远镜看到些星星就是大惊喜了

Really

真的吗

You waited months for time with that telescope. What happened

这望远镜你可等了几个月了怎么了

Why You writing a book

干嘛采访我写书吗

I'm going to propose a hypothesis.

我提出个假设

Last night Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization

昨晚拉杰偶然与外星文明联络上了

and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

然后被美国政府要求严格保密

Nothing happened. Can we please just change the subject

啥事都没有能换个话题吗

That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

这话一听就是排演过的我们不是唯一智慧生命

You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night

昨晚你顺利把玩上拉杰的大望远镜了吗

Where did that come from

这话从何说起

He never touched my telescope.

他从未碰过我的望远镜

Way to go shutting up.

你给我闭嘴

I did shut up. Now you shut up.

我闭嘴了你也给我闭嘴

Fine. Thank you.

-好吧 -谢谢

I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

真不敢相信你今早没给我打电话

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