生活大爆炸-S06E21_生活大爆炸

S01

Oh dear.

不是吧

Penny have you been recording shows

佩妮你是不是又用我们的

on our DVR again No.

-硬盘录像机录节目 -没有啊

Answer honestly. This is not a trial.

说实话就行了这又不是在审问你

That'll come later.

之后才会审问

Absolutely not.

我绝对没有

Help me out here. I can't afford another demerit.

快帮帮我我不能再被他记过了

Yeah.

行

Uh... maybe we were hacked.

我们可能是被黑客攻击了呢

You know the Chinese have been hacking everything lately.

中国那边最近不是在到处网络攻击吗

Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart Mall Cop

他们为啥要黑我们的录像机来录《百货战警》

I don't know.

我也不知道

It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.

看胖子骑电动代步车哪国人都会觉得好笑

I'm deleting it.

我要把它删了

Well hang on.

先别删啊

Maybe the Chinese haven't finished watching it yet.

那中国黑客可能还没看完呢

You know if you're trying to make space on the DVR

如果录像机空间不够要删东西

why don't you just get rid of

你怎么不把那些

some of the stuff you've already watched

你看过的影片给删了啊

Like um... Alphas.

比如《阿尔法战士》

No that's the season two finale.

不行这是它的第二季季末集呢

That was quite the cliffhanger.

最后留了个大悬念

I'm going to re watch it before season three starts.

第三季开始前我要再温习一遍剧情

There is no season three. They canceled that show.

不会有第三季这剧被砍了

Well they can't cancel it.

他们不能砍这个剧

It ended on a cliffhanger.

季末留了大悬念呢

They did. Uh Sheldon

-他们就是砍了 -谢尔顿

there are two dumplings left. Do you want them

还剩两个水饺你要吃吗

Dumplings

还水饺

Don't you understand what's going on here

你没懂现在情况多严重吗

As a rule no.

想也知道没懂

That show ended with all the residents of New York

这剧季末剧情演到全纽约居民

either dead or unconscious.

全死或是全昏迷了

Now I'll never know what happened.

现在我没机会知道后续发展了

Well why don't you make up your own ending

你怎么不自己编个后续出来呢

Oh sure what a wonderful idea.

行啊这主意太棒了

And after that

我编完之后

I'll make up my own rules of oral hygiene.

干脆再自编个口腔卫生规矩好了

You know instead of flossing I'll rub pudding on my gums.

例如以后再也不剔牙而是把布丁涂牙龈上

I'm going to get the number of the SyFy Channel

我要找出科幻台的电话

and give them what for.

给他们点教训

Oh please don't do that.

求你了别这样

No. They can't just cancel a show like Alphas.

一定要他们怎么能砍了这样的剧呢

You know They have to help the viewers let go.

他们应该帮助观众放手才对啊

Firefly did a movie to wrap things up.

《萤火虫》出了电影版来收尾

Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book.

《吸血鬼猎人巴菲》以漫画继续延伸了下去

Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season

《英雄》的剧情一季比一季烂

till we were grateful it ended.

到结尾时观众还感到庆幸呢

I feel bad for whoever gets that phone call.

我替要接到他电话的人感到难过

Ah don't.

不需要

If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds

要是不想接到疯狂宅男粉的斥责电话

they shouldn't have started a Sci Fi channel.

那他们当初就不应该开这个科幻台

第六季第二十一集

生活大爆炸

I think you're gonna be really happy

你之后一定会对这个摄像头

with this security camera.

感到十分满意

The optics are great

镜头很棒

it's got infrared technology

还有内置红外线技术

and there's even a backup battery when the power goes out.

而且还附带备用电池停电时也能运作

Whatever.

都行啦

I can see my little princess

反正我能在上班时

while I'm at work right

看到我的小公主对吧

Why can't you just watch porn like a regular guy

你不能像个正常男人那样上班偷看黄片吗

I need your laptop so I can configure the software.

把你的电脑给我我得调试下软件

Wait hold on.

等等

This is weird.

奇了怪了

What

怎么了

I was Googling that girl I've been dating

我刚在网上搜我对象的资料

and I found her blog.

然后找到了她的博客

Cool.

厉害

Anything juicy

有"有料"的内容吗

She said she recently went on a date with a guy named Roger

她说最近在跟一个叫罗杰的人约会

And he's Indian

他还是印度人

And he's an astrophysicist too

而且他也是个天体物理学家

You know what's going on don't you

你知道这是怎么回事吧

Yes. Mummy was right.

没错我妈说得太对了

American girls are sexually voracious devils.

美国的女人全都是淫荡饥渴骚货

I can't believe I have to explain this.

没想到我居然得跟你解释这事

People change names on blogs to protect their privacy.

很多人都会在博客上用假名来保持隐私

Roger is Raj.

罗杰就是拉杰

I always thought if I had a white name

我一直以为如果我要有个白人名

it would be Gavin.

那我会叫盖伦

Keep reading. What does it say

继续读啊看她都说了啥

No no I don't know if I should.

不行不行这不太好吧

If she wanted me to know about her blog she would've told me.

如果她想我知道她有博客早就告诉我了

It's almost like I'm reading her diary.

这就跟偷看她日记一样

That's exactly what it's like. Keep reading.

这就是偷看她日记啊继续读

No this is creepy.

不行这太没节操了

Oh I think we were looking at creepy in the rearview mirror

从我帮你安装好摄像头的那一刻起

when I put up that camera.

节操就已成路人了

It's not creepy. Don't listen to him.

我们正常得很别听他瞎说

Oh look who's got the sweetest kisses.

瞧呀哪个小姑娘的亲亲这么香啊

Should I go

要让你们独处吗

With all the TV Sheldon was talking about

在听完谢尔顿说了这么多电视剧后

I had the greatest idea ever.

我有了一个绝妙的好主意

It even blows away my idea

比我要开名为

for a Star Wars themed coffee shop called "Brewbacca's."

"楚巴咖啡厅"星战主题咖啡厅的主意还棒

楚巴卡是星球大战里的知名角色

You need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

那就是让你看《吸血鬼猎人巴菲》

It is the perfect show for the two of us.

这剧超适合我们情侣一同观赏

It's got action and jokes

集火爆动作与搞笑一体

and hot vampires and romance. I cannot oversell this

有性感吸血鬼加浪漫爱情怎么夸都不过分

What do you say

你怎么说

It's 6 30 in the morning.

现在是清晨六点半

I thought you grew up on a farm.

你不是在农场长大的吗

Hello SyFy Network

你好科幻台吗

Yeah this is your vice president of programming.

我是你们的节目安排副总裁

Now we have made a horrible mistake regarding Alphas.

对于《阿尔法战士》我们做了重大错误决定

Yeah we need to uncancel it immediately.

我们要立刻反取消节目

Well you just put me through to the people who handle that

总之谁负责这个你就把电话转给谁

you tell them it's me

告诉他们我是谁

and I don't want to answer a lot of questions

我不想回答一大堆关于

about if I really am who I say I am you know

我是不是真是我自己所说的这个人的问题

I just... I want this done.

我就是要把这事儿解决了

No I am not the person who just called.

不我不是刚才打来电话的人

That man was clearly a cowboy.

那个人很显然是个牛仔

Yeah who was plumb concerned

对他只是单纯地关心

about y'all canceling his favorite show.

你们取消了他最喜爱的电视剧

Why do they keep hanging up on me

他们为什么总是挂我电话

I'm sorry you're upset.

很遗憾你这么难过

You know Sheldon sometimes people seek the comfort

知道吗谢尔顿在这种时刻

of physical contact in moments like this.

有些人会寻求身体接触带来的安慰

I am not flying back to Texas

我才不会飞回德州

just so my mom can give me a hug.

就为了让我妈抱一下

Okay.

好吧

Well what I think is going on here

我觉得你现在的情况是

is you have a pathological need for closure.

对于"结局" 你有种病态的需求

Oh that's nonsense.

真是胡说

I mean you tell me stories about your day all the time.

你总是告诉我你的日常生活琐碎事

I don't care how they end.

我根本不关心结局是什么

You know I might be able to help you with this.

也许我能帮你

There's a whole field of behavioral neuroscience

在行为神经学方面有一个领域

that examines ways to retrain your neural pathways

研究如何重新训练神经通路

so stuff like this bothers you less.

然后这样的事情便不会如此困扰你了

Yeah but I just told you

但我刚刚对你说了

I don't have a problem with closure.

我才没纠结要有结局的问题

You sure about that

你确定吗

Oh quite sure.

相当确定

That proves nothing.

这不能证明什么

Ready to go to lunch

可以去吃午饭了吗

Do you think I'm feminine

你觉得我这人很女性化吗

Yeah. Let's go.

是的我们走

Thanks a lot.

多谢你了

What's going on

怎么了

I broke down and I read Lucy's blog.

我没忍住我看了露西的博客

And in one of the entries

其中有一段

she said when we first met

她说我们初次见面时

I struck her as a little feminine.

她觉得我这人有一点点女性气质

Just a little That's great.

才觉得一点点而已很好啊

I have to talk to her about this.

我得跟她谈谈这个

Oh geez why do you girls always want to talk about things

老天为什么你们女生总要谈这谈那

Listen to me

听我说

if she's writing about your relationship

如果她写了你们感情方面的内容

use it to your advantage.

你就好好利用啊

Rig the game.

操纵游戏

Well that doesn't seem fair.

这似乎不公平吧

Is it fair that girls like confident normal guys

难道女生喜欢自信正常的男生多过

more than nervous weirdos

紧张古怪男这样就公平吗

No it's not.

这不公平

I've always thought that was unfair.

我一直觉得这不公平

So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.

那就利用博客里的内容让她宽衣解裤带

Why do you have to make everything so filthy

为什么话从你的嘴里出来就这样下流

Why couldn't you just say the blog is like

你为什么不能说博客就像是

her giving me the key to her heart

她给了我一把打开她心门的钥匙

"The key to her heart."

"打开她心门的钥匙"

That's nice.

真不错

Were you quoting someone

这话是你引用别人的

or is it tattooed on the small of your back

还是你腰上的娘们纹身

I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women

我在引用对女人略知一二的男人的话

Sir Elton John.

艾尔顿·约翰爵士[著名同性恋歌手]

So did you love it

你喜欢吗

Of course you loved it. How could you not love it

你当然喜欢了你怎么会不喜欢呢

Tell me how much you loved it.

告诉我你有多喜欢

It was cute.

很可爱

Oh don't say cute.

别说可爱啊

That's the worst.

这个词最差劲了

What's wrong with cute

可爱怎么不对了

It just makes things seem small.

这样一形容就觉得东西小小的

It diminishes them.

有种渺小的感觉

So you want me to stop calling your little tushy cute

你这是要我不再说你的小屁屁可爱吗

You can try but nobody's gonna believe you.

你可以不说啊不过没人会相信你

I just... I don't understand how you can watch a show that great

我只是不理解为什么看这么优秀的电视剧

and not be excited by it.

你却一点也不激动

I liked it. I'm excited.

我喜欢我很激动

Well then tell your face.

那你的表情就配合一下啊

What do you want from me

你想让我怎么样

You know what

这样吧

Never mind. We gave it a shot.

算了我们尝试过了

Let's just see what else is on.

看看有什么其它节目吧

Oh come on don't be like that.

拜托别这样嘛

I'm sorry I called it cute.

抱歉我说了可爱

Let's watch another one. Really

-我们再看一集 -真的吗

Yeah it was fun.

对挺有意思的

Kind of reminded me of my high school.

让我想起了高中时代

But instead of vampires we had meth heads.

但我们没有吸血鬼只有嗑药鬼

But both came out at night and had messed up teeth.

但两者都是夜晚冒出来而且都是一口烂牙

All right cool.

好吧

I I think you'll like the next one better.

我觉得你会更喜欢下一集

All the cheerleaders are suffering from an evil curse.

讲的是啦啦队员们遭受邪恶诅咒之苦

Oh. Well that's like my high school too.

这点也很像高中

But instead of a curse it was crabs.

不过不是诅咒是阴虱之苦

I've come up with a series of exercises

我准备了一系列练习

to help with your compulsive need for closure.

帮你克服对收尾的强迫需求

I take issue with the word "compulsive."

我不喜欢"强迫"这个词

All I'm saying is

我的意思是

we live in a world where closure isn't always an op...

我们生活的这个世界里结局并不是一定...

...Tion. Okay.

会有的好吧

For the sake of argument let's say I have a problem.

为了论证这点就先假设我是有问题

What would be your plan for addressing it

那你要如何证明我有问题呢

I'm going to recondition your brain

我要重建你的大脑思路

so that the need for completion isn't so overwhelming.

让这种对结局的需求得以抑制

By playing tic tac toe

靠玩井字游戏吗

Yep. Your turn.

对该你了

Oh Amy.

艾米

And you wonder why people think neuroscience

你现在知道为什么人们认为神经学

is nothing but a goofy game for diaper babies.

不过是小儿科的愚蠢游戏了吧

Tic tac toe can only end in win lose or draw...

井字游戏肯定会有赢输或平手的结局

none of which will deny me closure.

完全没办法阻止我得到结局的乐趣

Especially since I'm about to win.

特别是我即将胜出的情况下

B But we didn't finish.

我们还没玩完呢

Exactly.

正是

How does that make you feel

你对此有何感觉

The same way any normal person would.

跟任何正常人一样啊

Feel like I want to peel off my own face

我想扯掉自己的脸

and tear it in two and then again and again

撕成两半然后不停地撕

until I have a handful of Sheldon face confetti.

直到我的脸碎成渣

And that's exactly the feeling we want to address

今日的治疗针对的

with this course of treatment.

正是这种感觉

Yeah or you could pitch in grab a nostril

或者你可以帮个忙抓我的鼻孔

and help me get this face off.

帮我把这玩意撕下来

Come on you can do this.

加油啊你行的

You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated.

你不能理解这种闹心的感觉是何滋味

To have a a desire build up within you

心中逐渐建立起了强烈的欲望

and be denied any opportunity for release.

最后却只能憋着无处释放

Yeah sounds like a drag.

听起来是很惨啊

Okay help me out here.

帮我分析分析

Why does he love this show so much

他为什么这么喜欢这个剧

Well there was action it was funny.

片中有动作场面也很搞笑

I mean you do get that usually the monster chases the pretty girl

你明白通常都是怪物追美女

but this time the pretty girl chases the monsters

而这里是美女追怪物吧

Yippee it's backwards. I get it.

耶嘿反过来啦我明白

Why does this bother you so much

你为什么这么困扰这事啊

I don't know.

不知道

It's just he's so passionate about so many different things.

他总是为这么多东西感到兴奋

I just don't get that way.

我就做不到那样

Do you

你行吗

Well sure. I'm pretty passionate about science.

可以啊我对科学就很热爱

I remember the first time I looked through a microscope

我还记得第一次看显微镜下

and saw millions of tiny microorganisms.

那无数微生物时的场景

It was like a whole other universe.

简直就像另一个宇宙

If I wanted to I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god.

只要姐愿意就可以像神一样用大拇指按死它们

See I wish I had some of that fire in my life.

瞧我也想找点这种热情

I mean I want to care about things

我也想有特别在乎的东西

and get excited like you guys.

像你们一样为之兴奋

Well there's no reason you can't.

你完全可以啊

You think

你这么认为吗

Absolutely. All we need to do is spend

当然了我们需要做的

a little time and find something you're passionate about.

只是花点时间找到你所热爱的东西

That sounds like a lot of work.

听起来好累啊

Hey what's up

怎么啦

Uh Lucy's coming over. I need some advice.

露西要来我需要点建议

However long you think the foreplay should be triple it.

不管你认为前奏该有多长加成三倍

Just tell me which one you think is more manly.

你就说说哪件会更有男子气概吧

This hockey jersey or...

曲棍球运动衫还是

this football jersey.

橄榄球运动衫

I don't know. Go with hockey.

我也不知道穿曲棍球的吧

Good black is more slimming.

很好黑色显瘦

Oh that's her.

她来了

I got to go be butch. Toodles.

我要去当壮汉了拜拜

Come in.

请进

Oh look how cute your little doggy is.

瞧瞧你这可爱的小狗狗

Yeah well I wouldn't get too close.

别离它太近

If I give the right command in German

如果我用德语给她下个命令

she'll rip your face off.

她就会把你的脸撕下来

O'er the land of the free

在这自由国家

美国国歌

And the home of the...

勇士的...

完整歌词是"勇士的家乡"

Next.

下一个

That's quite an impressive layout isn't it

这设计可真不错对吗

Yes.

是的

Let's box it up.

收起来吧

"Let's box it up."

收起来吧

That's enough.

够了

Sheldon Sheldon give it

谢尔顿谢尔顿给我

Okay Sheldon make a wish and blow out the candles.

好了谢尔顿许个愿然后吹蜡烛吧

Oops missed one.

惨了漏了一支

Now your wish can't come true.

现在你的愿望不能实现了

Lucky for you 'cause I wished you were dead.

你真幸运我许的愿是你死了

I like your jersey.

我喜欢你的运动衫

Thanks. I love hockey.

谢谢夸奖我喜欢曲棍球

Oh cool. So does my dad.

真不错我爸爸也喜欢

We watched it all the time growing up.

我从小就和他一起看比赛

Who's your favorite player

你最喜欢的球员是谁

Not Brian Boitano that's for sure.

不是布莱恩·博伊塔诺就是了[美国花样滑冰冠军]

How's your burrito

你的玉米饼好吃吗

It's still a little frozen in the middle.

这饼中间还有点没化冻呢

Probably because I didn't read the instructions.

那是因为我没有读说明书的缘故

No wrapper's going to tell me what to do.

我从来不看包装纸上的说明[饶舌歌手]

Unless his name is Jay Z.

除非上面写的是杰斯的饶舌

Is something going on

你有什么事吗

What do you mean

此话怎讲

Well you're acting all weird.

你表现一直怪怪的

And I'm pretty weird

我自己本身就够怪的了

so I think I know what I'm talking about.

连我觉得怪那可是真的怪

I don't know. Maybe it's all those steroids I've been taking.

我也不知道或许是因为我最近吃的类固醇吧

I think I'm gonna go.

我看我还是走吧

Thank you for the burrito and the pork rinds

谢谢你的玉米饼煎猪皮

and the 20 minute lecture

还有足足20分钟的

on why monster trucks are better than regular trucks.

关于为什么怪物卡车比普通卡车强的讲座

Wait wait.

等等等一下

I I found your blog where you wrote about me.

我看到你写的关于我的博客了

Oh. I kind of just write that for myself.

我那是写给我自己看的

I didn't think anybody actually read it.

我没想过会有人真来读

No kidding. You didn't make it easy to find.

那倒是你藏的还挺隐秘的

I spent hours digging around online.

我上网找了好久才找到呢

For the record you have excellent credit scores.

顺带一提你的信用记录挺好的

And your diabetic aunt seems

还有你那个得糖尿病的阿姨

to be adjusting to her new leg just fine.

看起来也挺适应她那条新腿的

Why were you acting so strange tonight

你今天怎么表现得这么奇怪呢

You called me feminine.

你说我这人太女性化了

And I...

所以我

I wanted you to think I was more manly.

我想在你面前表现得阳刚一点

Raj I didn't say "feminine" was a bad thing.

拉杰我说的女性化并不是坏事

I meant that you're sweet and thoughtful

我是指你又贴心又善解人意

and your skin looks so much like caramel

还有你的皮肤就像焦糖

I just want to dip an apple in your face.

让我想用苹果沾着吃

I do have a pretty balls to the wall

我的确有一套超棒的

moisturizing regimen.

在保湿秘方

So are you okay

所以你没事吧

Yeah.

没事

Good.

那就好

Do you even like hockey

那你真的喜欢冰球吗

No.

当然不

Bought this at the Staples Center

这套衣服是我去斯台普斯球馆

when I went to see Taylor Swift.

看泰勒·斯威夫特演唱会时买的

So I was thinking how excited you get

我思考了一下你总是为

about stuff like Buffy or science

吸血鬼猎人巴菲呀科学呀

or which TV remote you and Sheldon should buy.

或你和谢尔顿为了买哪个遥控器而激动吵架

The "Harmony One" was fine.

"和谐一号"已经很不错了

We didn't need to upgrade to the 1100

根本没必要升级到1100型

which he knows is too big for my hand.

他知道我手太小拿不了那个型号的

See that's the kind of passion I didn't think I had.

你看你这种激情就是我所没有的

But then I realized I'm passionate about you.

但我后来意识到我对你本人就有激情

Oh... my cute little tushy strikes again.

是我的可爱小翘臀起了作用吧

No I'm serious.

不我是说真的

Look I've always had these plans.

我一直觉得

I was gonna be in movies and live this glamorous life

我会变成电影明星过着五光十色的生活

and anything less than that

而和这些无关的东西

just wasn't worth getting excited about.

都不值得我激动

Those things can still happen.

你说的那些还是有可能发生的

Oh obviously it's gonna happen.

这一切当然是会发生的

Yeah a psychic at a bachelorette party told me so.

有个单身派对上的算命师已经帮我算过了

Anyway what I meant was...

但我想说的是

I shouldn't wait you know

我不该再观望下去了懂吗

I've got you I've got Sheldon

我有你我有谢尔顿

all these wonderful friends.

这么多超级棒的朋友

My life is exciting right now.

我的生活已经足够精彩了

That's a big deal.

这的确很重要

It is isn't it

的确如此对不对

So does that mean we get to do stuff

这是不是就意味着我们可以开始

like talk about cool shows or get dressed up

一起讨论那些好看的电视或者穿着

in matching costumes and go to Comic Con

情侣变装制服一起去参加漫画大会了

Leonard I had an epiphany not a stroke.

莱诺德我只是顿悟不是突然中风好吗

Amy I must say I was skeptical at first

艾米我得说一开始我是抱着怀疑的态度

but this has truly been a transformative evening.

但今晚的确是充满改革性的一夜呀

I'm a little surprised to hear you feeling so positive.

你能有如此正面的态度我还真有点小惊讶

Well you're an excellent neuroscientist

你是个出色的神经学家

you're a wonderful girlfriend and...

也是个很棒的女朋友还是

And

还是

Doesn't matter does it

这不重要对吧

I'm proud of you Sheldon.

我真为你自豪谢尔顿

And a complete sucker.

还是个彻头彻尾的笨蛋

Oh yeah.

我赢了

There he is.

出来了

And the home of the brave...

也是勇气的家乡

Don't stop. Yes keep going.

别停下继续继续

Just like that. Almost there almost there.

就是这样马上就成功了就要到头了

Sheldon you big weirdo

谢尔顿你个怪胎

I want you to know that I love that you're in my life.

我要你知道我喜欢有你在我身边

I love you too.

我也喜欢你

Hello. Uh is this the Bruce Miller who wrote

请问你是阿尔法战士季终集的

the season finale of Alphas

编剧布鲁斯·米勒吗

Oh smashing. Yeah you already sound nicer

太好了你已经比前一个

than the last Bruce Miller who suggested

要我自己跟自己做爱的布鲁斯·米勒

I have sexual relations with myself.

听起来友善多了

Yeah now down to business.

好了现在言归正传

Um your show ended on a cliffhanger.

你这剧最后埋下了一个悬念

Could you please tell me how you planned to resolve it

你能告诉我你打算怎么解决它吗

I see.

我明白了

Well that all stinks.

这也太烂了吧

No wonder you got canceled. Bye.

怪不得你这剧被取消了呢回见

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