生活大爆炸-S08E02_生活大爆炸

S01

I recently read that during World War Two

我最近读到在二战期间

Joseph Stalin had a research program

约瑟夫·斯大林曾有一项研究计划

to create supersoldiers

为了制造超级士兵

by having women impregnated by gorillas.

要让女人怀上大猩猩的孩子

What a sick use of science.

太变态的滥用科学了

Hey as long as the baby's healthy.

只要孩子健康就没事啦

I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.

不知道斯大林有没想过使用其他动物

Hippos are the deadliest creature.

河马是杀伤性最高的动物

A half human half hippo soldier would be pretty badass.

半人半河马应该会是狠角色吧

Yes but when they're hungry hungry

但当它们饿饿的时候

you can stop them with marbles.

你用弹珠就能阻止它们了

一种4名玩家控制河马头抢吃弹珠的桌游

Yeah the correct animal

是的制造跨族超级士兵的

for interspecies supersolider is koala.

最佳选择是考拉

You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

你可以做出一个超可爱让人无法下手的军队

But half man half owl could fly...

但半人半猫头鹰可以飞...

The answer is cuddly soldiers with big flat noses.

正解就是让人想抱的大扁鼻子士兵

Moving on.

下个话题

So Penny when's the new job start

佩妮新工作什么时候开始

Next Monday.

下周一

Did you get a chance to look over the materials I gave you

你找时间看了我给你的材料了吗

Uh not yet but I will.

还没但我会看的

Great. When

很好什么时候

I said I'll get to it.

我说了我会去看

I'm sensing awkwardness am I right

我好像感觉到场面有些尴尬是吧

Yes.

是的

Swish.

厉害

I don't want to be pushy

我不想一直逼你

but you've never done pharmaceutical sales before.

但你之前从未接触过医药销售

It seems like you could use this time to get a head start.

你可以用这段时间领先其他人啊

Well the first few weeks will be all training.

前几周都是在培训

They'll tell me everything I need to know.

他们会教我一切需要了解的信息

But imagine how impressed they'd be if you showed up

但你想象一下你去的时候已经对材料很熟

already familiar with the material.

他们肯定会对你刮目相看

Okay so what you want me to be like a teacher's pet

所以是怎样你想让我当老师的小马屁精吗

Couldn't hurt.

又没坏处

Mm I don't know.

不知道啊

Who here has ever been hurt

在座这里有谁

because they were the teacher's pet

因为当老师的马屁精被欺负过

It was like the rest of the class wanted Ms. McDonald

感觉就像班上其他同学想要老师

to forget the quiz.

忘了有考试

生

活

大

爆

炸

第八季第二集

Mrs. Davis.

戴维斯小姐

Guess who

你猜是谁

Dr. Cooper.

库伯博士

That's right good job.

没错干得好

Hello.

你好

Uh you wanted to see me

你想见我吗

Yes. Uh welcome back.

是的欢迎回来

Thank you.

谢谢

I assume you'd like to reopen our dialogue

我想你想要再开始

about the university forcing me to continue with string theory

大学逼我继续研究弦理论的谈话是吗

You mean the dialogue that went

你是指谈话过程只有

"Please " "No." "Please " "No." "Please " "No."

"拜托""不行"这两个词来回重复的那次吗

That's the one.

没错

I believe you went last so uh please

我记得上一次最后是你回的所以... 拜托

Dr. Cooper while you were away we came up with a solution

库伯博士在你不在的时候我们想出了

that would allow you to change your field of study.

让你可以改变研究领域的方法了

Pouting and running away actually worked.

撅嘴逃跑真的管用啊

Yeah I must say that may not be a lesson

不得不说你可千万记得

you want to reinforce with me.

不要再逼我干嘛了

So um what is the solution

所以解决方式是什么

Currently you're being paid under a grant

目前大学给你的研究基金是

to specifically research string theory.

只能做特定领域研究的

If we promote you to junior professor

如果我们将你升为初级教授

you'll be able to choose

这样你就能

whatever field of research you'd like.

想研究什么就研究什么

But if I'm a professor then I'll have to teach a class.

但如果我是教授我就得带学生了

That is correct.

没错

So your solution is to promote me and pay me more money

所以你的解决方法就是给我升职给我加薪

so that I can impart my knowledge

然后让我能把我的学识

to the next generation of scientists

传授给下一代的科学家们吗

Yes.

没错

You people are sick.

你们这帮人真变态

Hey. Ready to go to lunch

准备好去吃午饭了吗

Just give me a minute.

再给我一分钟

I'm stimulating the pleasure cells of this starfish.

我在刺激海星的快感细胞

I just need to turn it off.

等我关了就行了

What happens if you don't

如果你不关掉会怎么样

Then I have to sit through lunch

那我就得边吃午饭

knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.

边想着这海星过得比我还"爽"

Is Bernadette meeting us at the restaurant

伯纳黛特会在餐厅跟我们碰面吗

Uh no. Actually I didn't invite her.

不会其实我没叫她

How come

为什么

Well ever since she helped me get this job

自从她介绍了我这份工作

she won't stop bugging me.

她就一直不停地烦我

Well I think she just wants you to do well

她只想你能做好这份工作

and she's worried that you won't

而且她也担心你会失败吧

'cause you were just a stunningly poor waitress.

因为你真是个超烂的服务员

That is not true.

才不是呢

I'm still waiting on my mini corndogs from two years ago.

我到现在都还在等两年前跟你点的玉米热狗呢

I told you they'll be right out.

我跟你说了很快会给你上

Okay so no Bernadette.

好吧没有伯纳黛特

Well you saw her the other night. Am I wrong

那晚你也看见她那个样子啦难道是我错吗

No I just...

没有啊我只是...

I feel kind of uncomfortable talking about her like this.

我觉得这样说她有点不好

Usually when someone's being talked about behind their back

通常有人在背后说其他人坏话时

it's me and it's right in front of my face.

都是说我的坏话而且还当着我的面说

I I'm sorry. I just need a little break from her.

抱歉我只是想躲开她一阵子

I understand.

我懂

You know there is some research that indicates

你知道吗有些研究显示

that sharing negative attitudes about a third party

分享对第三方的负面看法

can be a powerful bonding force between two friends.

能够加深两个朋友之间的友谊吗

So what are you saying

所以你是什么意思

I'm saying in the spirit of science

我的意思是为了科学

what is that little skank's problem

那个小婊砸到底有啥好不满的

So I've been trying to come up

我一直想给

with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily.

我和艾米丽取一个可爱的情侣昵称

What do you like better

你觉得哪一个好

Emippali...

艾米帕里

or Koothrapemily

还是库萨帕米丽

Why is it your last name and her first name

为什么一定是你的姓和她的名的组合

Oh well her last name is Sweeney

她姓斯威尼

and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeney.

库萨帕威尼听起来不大对劲儿

peeney音同peeny 鸡鸡的意思

Hey how'd it go with human resources

跟人力资源部谈得怎么样了

Awful.

很糟糕

Yeah they're allowing me to move on from string theory

虽然他们同意让我研究其他理论

but they made me a junior professor

但是他们升我当初级教授

and are requiring me to teach a class.

这样我就必须给学生上课

I don't understand. Why is it bad that you have to teach

我不明白了上课有什么不好

What a stupid question.

愚蠢的问题

The kids are gonna love him.

学生们绝对会"喜欢"他

I can't believe I have to waste my time

我不敢相信我得浪费我的时间

babysitting a bunch of grad students

照顾一群研究生

who probably think dark matter is what's in their diapers.

他们可能觉得暗物质就是尿片里的屎尿

This might not be that bad.

没那么糟糕

Uh you like telling people they're wrong.

你喜欢指出别人的错误

Wrong

错

Just because I enjoyed that one doesn't mean I always do.

我喜欢这么做并不代表我会想整天这么做

You enjoy giving people grades.

你喜欢给别人打分

A valid point but unoriginal B minus.

观点正确但是非原创 B-

And you love the sound of your own voice.

你喜欢你自己的声音

Yeah well of course I do.

对没错我喜欢

Listen to it.

听听

It's like an earful of melted caramel.

就像听到了融化的焦糖

Look most importantly

最重要的是

this will let you move on and study dark matter.

这样你才能继续研究暗物质

It is true that many of my heroes have taken students

我有很多偶像倒是都曾给予过

under their wings

学生帮助[放在翅膀下]

Feynman Einstein Professor X.

费因曼爱因斯坦 X教授

X教授即查尔斯塞维尔 X战警学校的校长及创办人

费因曼美国著名物理学家

Humorously

有趣的是

in the case of Professor X

对于X教授来说

some of his students actually had wings.

他的一些学生还真的有翅膀

That's rich.

真有意思

I'll use that one to lighten the mood

等全班学生在期中考试挂科之后

after my entire class fails the midterm.

我会用这个笑话来逗笑他们

Measuring starfish serotonin levels in response to

通过使用1.2摩尔的快感细胞刺激

one point two molar stimulation of pleasure cells.

测量海星的血清素等级

You like that don't you

你喜欢这样对吧

That's right say my name.

没错说我的名字

Hey what's going on Not much.

-还好吗 -还行

You want to get a drink later

等会儿要去喝一杯吗

Just the two of us

就我俩

No Penny

不叫佩妮吗

Not tonight. I'm a little frustrated with her.

今晚不叫她我对她有点失望

Because you got her the job and you think

因为你帮她找到工作

she should be working harder to prepare for it

你觉得她应该好好准备

So it's not just me. You see it too

原来不光是我你也看到了

I do I see it.

对我也看到了

It's driving me crazy.

快把我逼疯了

Just this afternoon I saw on Instagram

今天下午我在她的相册里看见

that instead of studying she went out to lunch

她没有好好学习还跑出去吃午餐

and got a manicure.

还去做了美甲

That's outrageous

太过分了

I know

对啊

If she doesn't do well

如果她做不好

th this could reflect poorly on you.

也会坏了你的名声

Exactly. Does she not realize it or does she not care

是啊她是不知道还是不在乎

I don't know.

我不知道

The important thing is I am here for you

重要的是我支持你

so we can mutually disparage this unpleasing third party.

所以我们可以一起鄙视这个讨厌的第三方

Hey. We just wanted to see how your class was going.

我们来看看你的课上得怎么样了

Where is everybody

学生呢

There is no class.

没有学生

Did you send everyone to the principal's office already

你这么快就把所有人都送去校长办公室了吗

No one signed up.

没人报名

Well that's not your fault.

这不是你的错

I called the department secretary to see what happened.

我打电话问学院秘书是怎么回事

Apparently I have a reputation for being obnoxious.

显然全校的人都认为我很讨厌

What

不会吧

Hey Sheldon I'm sorry.

谢尔顿真是抱歉

No it's fine.

别没事的

Now I can devote all my time to dark matter.

现在我可以全身心投入到暗物质的研究中了

Aw you brought cookies for everyone

你还给大家带了饼干

Oh yes. Fig Newtons.

对 "无花果牛顿"饼干

I was going to ask them which scientist both helped

我本来打算问他们哪个科学家

to develop calculus

既对微积分有贡献

and had a famous cookie named after him

又有一款饼干以他命名

And then after someone said "Newton "

等有人回答"牛顿"

I was going to tell them they're wrong.

我就告诉他们错了

The cookies are named after a town in Massachusetts.

这个饼干是用马萨诸塞州的一个镇命名的

And then I'd throw the cookies away.

然后我再把饼干扔了

Hey what if I took your class

我来听你的课怎么样

Why would you do that

你为什么这么做

Yeah why would you do that What's wrong with you

-你为什么这么做 -你脑子出什么问题

I'm thinking about getting my doctorate

我想拿到博士学位

and he wants to teach why not

他想要教课正好啊

Oh Howard.

霍华德

I appreciate the gesture

感谢你的提议

but this is a graduate level physics class.

但这是研究生阶段的物理课程

I don't think you'd understand

我觉得你根本无法理解

a single thing I was talking about.

我所讲的任何内容

Ask why not again I've got an answer.

再问一遍为什么不能来我有答案了

Sheldon I'm more than smart enough to take your class.

谢尔顿我的智商来听你的课绰绰有余了

No.

不可能

Yes.

真的

How would you determine the ground state

在没有精确解的情况下

of a quantum system with no exact solution

你如何确定量子系统的基态

I would guess a wave function and then vary its parameters

我会任意猜测一个基态波函数通过更改其参数

until I found the lowest energy solution.

找出能量最低的量子态

Do you know how to integrate X squared times E

你知道怎么不查书也能求出

to the minus X without looking it up

x平方乘e到负x的积分

I'd use Feynman's trick

我会用费曼的秘诀

differentiate under the integral sign.

积分符号内取微分

Okay.

不错嘛

What is the correct interpretation of quantum mechanics

量子力学的正确诠释是什么

Since every interpretation gives exactly the same answer

每一种诠释对于每一次测量

to every measurement they are all equally correct.

给出的答案都一样所以它们同等正确

However I know you believe in the Many Worlds Interpretation

但是我知道你支持的是多宇宙诠释

so I'll say that. Now do you think I'm smart enough

所以我会顺着你说现在你觉得我够聪明了吗

No.

不

Oh come on. You might've gone to school

拜托你也许就比我

for a couple more years than me but guess what

多上了几年学但是

engineers are just as smart as physicists.

工程师和物理学家一样聪明

You take that back

你把这话收回去

No.

不

So after drinks with Bernadette

和伯纳黛特喝了几杯后

I get home and Penny calls to complain about her.

我刚到家佩妮就打来电话抱怨伯纳黛特

And then while I'm talking to Penny

我正和佩妮说着呢

I get a text from Bernadette.

伯纳黛特又发来短信

Wh... I'm trying to prepare my lesson plan for Howard.

我正为霍华德准备教学计划呢

Why are you telling me this

你干嘛告诉我这些废话

Because it's taken 15 years

因为虽然晚了15年

but high school is finally awesome

但高中生活终于开始精彩了

I love them both

虽然我爱她们俩

but I'm in the center now and I love that even more.

但现在我成了团体中心我更爱这种感觉

Amy please. I am trying to figure out a way

艾米拜托我正努力寻找

to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine.

一种用智力阉割我好友的方法

But I'm just... Not now.

-可人家... -别烦我了

You better watch that attitude buddy.

注意你的态度老弟

You're dating the popular girl now.

你女朋友现在可是校园红人呢

You're up late.

你还没睡啊

Oh I'm working on my lesson plan for Wolowitz.

我在为沃罗威茨量身定制教学计划

He is going to be so lost.

保证他跟听天书一样

Look at this section over here.

快看这部分内容

Even I don't really understand it.

连我都不懂是什么

Sheldon why are you doing this

谢尔顿你为什么要这么做

I'm a teacher Leonard.

我是一名教师莱纳德

It's my job.

这是我的工作

No I I mean

不我是说

why are you going to so much trouble

你为什么要费尽周折

to prove that you're smarter than Wolowitz

来证明你比沃罗威茨聪明呢

Oh it's no trouble it's actually a pleasure.

完全不费劲我高兴着呢

You want to know what I think

你知道我怎么想吗

I think the idea that someone could be as smart as you

我觉得一想到某人可能和你一样聪明

or even smarter scares the pants off you

甚至比你聪明你就怕得要死

and you can't deal with it.

你接受不了这个事实

Interesting point.

想法很有趣

Wh... You're suggesting

你是在暗示

that I have emotional issues below my consciousness

潜意识里我的情绪

which drive my behavior

影响了我的行动

thus causing me to lash out at anything or anyone

导致我大肆打击任何

that threatens my intellectual superiority.

威胁到我智商优势的人或事吗

Might be something to think about.

你好好思考一下吧

Leonard Yeah.

-莱纳德 -什么

Howard's allergic to peanuts.

霍华德对花生过敏

How can I use that against him

我怎样才能用这个对付他

Okay now that everyone's here we can begin.

既然大家都来齐了我们可以上课了

Before we do I just talked to Leonard.

上课之前我要说我刚和莱纳德谈过了

And if you're gonna

如果你准备

spend all your time trying to belittle me

刻意让这门课难到超乎常理

by making this class unnecessarily hard

以此来贬低我的智商的话

then I'm out.

那我不上了

But if you're interested in making

但如果你真心想要

a sincere effort to be a good teacher

做一个好老师

then I'm willing to give this a shot.

那我也愿意给你个机会

I suppose that's a fair request.

这个提议很合理

There's no reason we both can't benefit from this experience.

我们俩都可以从这件事里受益

Okay. Okay.

-好吧 -就这样

Well then uh first things first.

那我们先上课

Um are you familiar with the Brachistochrone problem

你对最速降线问题熟悉吗

I am. Good.

-很熟悉 -很好

And how it relates to the calculus of variations

那它和变分法之间的关系呢

It's an inverted cycloid.

是一条翻转摆线

Wonderful.

不错不错

Now what about Euler Lagrange theorems

那么你了解欧拉拉格朗日定理吗

That's where I'm a little fuzzy.

这我就有点小困惑了

Ha I knew it All right.

我就知道好了

We have a lot of information to cover before your first test.

在第一次考试前我们需要大量补充这方面的知识

Which by the way is in eight minutes.

对了考试就在8分钟之后

The good news is I'm grading on a curve

好消息是我的评分标准是曲线评分

so you're pretty much guaranteed a C.

所以你卷子上肯定有个"C"

All I do is win win win

老子这辈子只想赢

DJ KHALED All I Do Is Win

No matter what

无论如何

What are you doing

你这是在干什么

Everybody hands go up up...

大家一起高举双手

And they stay there

保持别动

What are you doing

你在干什么

If you're gonna be a crappy teacher

如果你要当个烂老师

then I'm gonna be a crappy student.

那我就当个烂学生

Ludacris going in on the verse

路达克里斯来唱副歌

'Cause I never been defeated and I won't stop now..

我无所不胜永不停止

Will you stop it

停下来

This is a classroom.

这是教室

This is not American Bandstand. Okay.

不是《美国大舞台》好了

Now where was I

好了我说到哪里呢

Let's see.

我看看

Oh yes. Over here.

对了就是这里

You...

你

What are you doing now

你又在干什么

Making a straw.

折一个吸管

Why

为什么

So I can shoot you with a spitball.

我就可以用口水球射你了

You're not going to do that and I'll tell you why.

你不能这么做我来告诉你为什么

This is an institution of higher learning

这里是高等学府的课堂

I am your professor

我是你的教授

and you're going to treat me with the prop...

你对待我的态度应该是...

You shot your spit in my mouth

你的口水吐进我的嘴里了

Is that gonna be on the test

考试会考这个吗

Because I don't think I can do that again.

我想我没法再做到一次了

Hey girlfriend.

好闺蜜

Can I get a what what

可以来个那啥啥吗

What

啥

Close enough.

差不多了

Um I was just calling to see what you were up tonight.

我打来想问问你今晚有什么安排

Thought maybe we could hit up Color Me Mine

咱们可以去整整"自己动手做彩陶"

maybe sneak in some Pinot Greej. Whatevs.

偷偷带进去一些葡萄酒随便啦

Uh thanks but I think I'm gonna stay in

多谢了但我要留在家

and go over the stuff Bernadette gave me.

学习伯纳黛特给我的资料

Oh. Oh I hear you.

哦这样啊

Try and get that nag off your back right

好让唠叨鬼不再烦你对吧

I mean you're not a bicycle

你又不是单车

why's she riding you like that

她凭什么这样"骑压"你

No I think she was just trying to help.

不我想她只是想帮忙

Plus I really want to do well at this job. So...

而且我想做好这份工作

Okay good luck. And call me later

那祝你好运晚点打给我

you know if you decide she's a bitch or something.

如果你要抱怨她是个贱人什么的

Hey girlfriend.

好闺蜜

Hey Amy.

艾米

Tonight. You me Color Me Mine.

今晚你和我 "自己动手做彩陶"

Maybe we sneak in some pinot make it Color Me Wine.

也许带点葡萄酒进去整个"自己动嘴喝彩酒"

That sounds fun but I promised Penny

听起来很好玩但我答应了佩妮

I'd come by and help her study.

过去帮助她学习

Oh. Well good luck getting her to do that.

那只能祝你好运逮到她

She's probably off getting another manicure.

她可能又出去修指甲了

You remember when she did that

你记得她那次这样做吗

You remember

记得吗

I was probably being too hard on her.

我可能对她太严厉了

We talked we're good.

我们谈过了没事了

Oh. Great.

太好了

I'm happy for you guys.

我为你们高兴

You know when the two of you aren't getting along

你俩合不来时

it puts me in a really weird position.

我夹在中间好难做人啊

Well don't worry everything's back to normal.

不用担心一切恢复正常了

You mean like where she's nice to your face

你是指她表面上又跟你好了吗

Okay got it. Bye.

明白了拜

Hey boyfriend.

好男友

Can't talk. Spitball.

没时间说话口水球

Probably gonna die.

可能会死

Well

怎么样

Sheldon I I promise.

谢尔顿我发誓

Your uvula does not have an STD.

你的小舌没得性病

Are you sure

你确定吗

It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to.

感觉没有以前那么纯洁了

You reported me to human resources

你把我告到人事部去了吗

You violated the sanctity of my mouth.

你亵渎了我口腔的圣洁

Well I dropped your class so I hope you're happy.

我不上你的课了希望你开心

I told you you weren't smart enough to take it.

我跟你说过你不够聪明不能上我的课

I'm smart enough Sheldon.

我够聪明了谢尔顿

Asking me a bunch of questions

问我一大堆

about a topic I'm not familiar with

我不熟悉的课题的问题

doesn't prove anything.

并不能证明什么

I could do the same to you.

我也可以问你

Yeah... Try me.

是吗试试

Okay.

好的

You enjoy making fun of engineering so much

你非常享受取笑工程学

how do you quantify the strength of materials

那么你如何量化材料强度

Young's modulus.

杨氏模量

Is that right Yeah.

-对吗 -对

Okay how do you prevent eddy currents in a transformer

你如何预防变压器中的涡流损耗

Laminate the core material.

层压芯材

Come on give him a hard one.

拜托问个难的

That was a hard one.

这就是难的

All right.

好吧

How does the flow rate in a pipe depend on its diameter

管直径如何决定流量

You don't know do you

你不知道对吗

What's the matter smart guy

怎么啦聪明人

Don't know Poiseuille's law

不知道泊肃叶定律了吧

Thank goodness I got it

谢天谢地出来了

Now I can quit checking my stool.

现在我不必再检查我的粪便了

Okay what are the potential side effects

我们的壮阳药有些什么

for our erectile dysfunction drug

可能的副作用

Headaches dizziness and nausea.

头痛头晕恶心

Yes.

是的

Those are also the side effects

一个勃起的75岁老男人

of having a 75 year old man with an erection climb on top of you.

趴在你身上你也会出现这些副作用

Want to stop here Uh no. I can keep going.

-要不要停下来 -不用我可以继续

Nah you got this.

不必了你能行的

Let's go for a drink. I'll call Amy.

我们去喝一杯我打给艾米

Okay good. She seemed like she really wanted to go out tonight.

好的她似乎今晚特别想出去玩

Hey girl.

干嘛妹子

Okay next question for the Butterfinger

下个问题奖品是金手指黄油饼干

how long is a galactic year

银河年有多长

250 million years

两亿五千万年

Yes

对了

Okay this one is for a Cadbury Creme Egg.

这个的奖品是吉百利蛋

It's not even Easter time.

复活节都没到呢

This is crazy

太疯狂了

Which Archimedean solid has 20 regular triangular faces

哪种阿基米德多面体有20个规则的三角面

30 square faces 12 pentagonal faces

30个四角面 12个五角面

60 vertices and 120 edges

60个顶点和120条边

The Rhombicosidodecahedron

小斜方截半二十面体

Yes

答对了

We are so smart

我们太聪明了

Why didn't girls like us in high school

高中时为什么女生不喜欢咱们

Because we were awkward and weird

因为我们呆滞怪异

and couldn't play sports Right again

-而且运动无能 -又答对了

给好奇的观众这就是小斜方截半二十面体

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