生活大爆炸-S01E11_生活大爆炸

S01

Checkmate.

将军

again obviously

-又将? -显然

You're not well suited for three dimensional chess.

你还不够格来玩三维国际象棋

Perhaps three dimensional candy land would be more your speed.

你的速度或许更适合玩三维糖果盒游戏

Just reset the board.

这盘重来

It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels.

这么多层都得我让你还真丢脸啊

Hey guys.

好伙计们

did you get my mail yeah right here.

-你拿了我的邮件了? -是在这

how was nebraska well better than north dakota.

-内布拉斯加那边怎样? -比北达科他州强

I guess that joke's only funny in nebraska.

我猜这笑话只有在内布拉斯加州才会好笑

From the data at hand you really can't draw that conclusion.

就目前的数据来说你还不能得出这结论

All you can say with absolute certainty is that

你所能唯一确定的是

that joke is not funny here.

这笑话在这儿不好笑

Boy it's good to be back.

兄弟们回来真好

how's your family it was the worst trip.

-你家人怎么样? -这趟旅行简直不能再糟了

Everyone got sick over the weekend.

一个周末下来家里人全病了

sick here we go.

-病了? -又来了

What kind of sick

什么病?

The flu I guess.

我猜就是流感吧

I don't need you to guess. I need you to know.

我不是要你猜我要你确定

Now when did the symptoms first appear

第一次出现症状是在什么时候

Maybe friday.

大概是周五

Friday. was that morning or afternoon

周五上午还是下午?

I i don't...

我...我不...

Think woman. who blew their nose and when

小姐好好想想是谁在什么时候擦过鼻子?

Sheldon relax.

没事的谢尔顿

She doesn't have any symptoms. I'm sure she's not contagious.

她没有任何症状我确定她不会传染

Oh please.

拜托

If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear

如果流感只有在症状出现后才会感染

It would have died out thousands of years ago.

那它早该在几千年前就消失了

Somewhere between tool using and cave painting

在开始使用石器工具和创作洞穴壁画的年代

Homo habilis would have figured out

"能人"们肯定会想方设法

how to kill the guy with the runny nose.

干掉流着鼻涕的家伙的

Penny you'll have to excuse sheldon. he's a bit of a germaphobe.

潘妮你要原谅谢尔顿他有点病理恐惧

It's okay. I understand.

没关系我能理解

Thanks for your consideration. now please leave.

谢谢你的照顾现在请你离开

You'd better go before he starts spraying you with lysol.

你最好趁他还没拿来沙尔(消毒药水)来对着你喷的时候赶紧闪

Okay. well thank you for getting my mail.

好的谢谢你替我拿邮件

No problem. welcome home.

小意思欢迎回家

What

怎么了?!

What the hell are you doing

你在搞什么鬼东西

I'm making petri dishes to grow throat cultures.

我在制作皮氏培养皿培养喉咙里的细菌

With lime jell o

用酸橙果冻?

I need a growth medium

我需要一个(生长物)培养基

And someone polished off the apricot yogurt.

而某人却把杏仁酸奶给扫荡一空了

Here swab my throat.

来从我喉咙里取些唾液

I don't think so.

我可不干

If I'm going to get ahead of this thing

如果我要走在它前面搞定它

I need to find out what's growing in my throat.

就必须弄清楚我喉咙里是什么东西在生长

Sheldon you are not sick.

谢尔顿你没病

This is but you are not.

这些行为有但你没有

We have no idea what pathogen typhoid

我们根本不清楚她带进屋子来的

penny has introduced into our environment.

是什么伤寒病原体

For having never been to nebraska

鉴于我从没去过内布拉斯加

I'm fairly certain that I have no corn husking antibodies.

我十分肯定我没有携带玉米外壳抗体

Sheldon don't you think you're overreacting

谢尔顿你不觉得你反应过度了吗

When I'm lying comatose in a hospital

当我倒在医院昏迷不醒

relying on inferior minds to cure me

要靠那些低智商来医治我的时候

These jell o cultures and my accompanying notes

这些果冻培养细菌连同我的笔记

Will give them a fighting chance.

会让他们有机会最后一搏

i'm going back to bed. wait.

-我回去睡觉了 -等等

put this in the bathroom. what for

-把这个放到卫生间 -干吗

I need to measure my fluid intake and output

我要测量我体液的摄取和排放情况

To make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.

确保我肾功能没有衰竭

I mixed pancake batter in this

这是我用来和糕饼的!

No that measuring cup has always been for urine.

不这个实验皿一直是用来盛小便的

You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment

你有闲工夫把房间里的所有东西都贴上标签

Including the label maker

即使标签笔都有标签

But you didn't have ten seconds to make one that said "urine cup"

就不能抽出十秒钟把它标记上"小便皿"吗?

It's right here on the bottom.

这不在杯底嘛

I guess I owe the betty crocker company a letter of apology.

我猜我该给贝蒂妙厨写封道歉信了

Oh dear god.

我的天呐

Leonard I'm sick

里奥纳德我病了!

Leonard my comforter fell down and my sinuses hurt when I bend over.

里奥纳德我的加衬芯床罩掉了我一弯腰鼻窦就疼

hey leonard where are you

里奥纳德你在哪呢

I'm at work.

我在工作

At 6 30 in the morning

早上六点半?

On sunday

还是星期天?

why they asked me to come in.

-怎么会 -他们叫我帮忙

I didn't hear the phone ring.

我没听到电话响过啊

They texted me.

他们发的短信

Well as I predicted I am sick.

是这样跟我预测的如出一辙我病了

My fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2 00 a.m.

我的体温从凌晨两点开始就呈指数曲线上升

And I am producing sputum at an alarming rate.

而且我痰中含血量惊人地高

No kidding

开玩笑吧?

No not only that

没有不仅如此

It has shifted from clear to milky green.

痰的颜色也已经从透明变成牛奶绿了

All right

好吧

Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.

多休息多喝点液体

What else would I drink gases solids ionized plasma

我还能喝什么气体固体还是电离等离子体?

Drink whatever you want.

想喝什么随你便

i want soup. then make soup.

-我想喝汤 -那就煲汤啊

We don't have soup.

家里没有汤

I'm at work sheldon.

谢尔顿我在工作呢

Is that a dog

那是狗叫吗

In the lab

在实验室里?

They're training dogs to operate the centrifuge

他们在训练狗操作离心机

For when they need dogs to...

以备他们需要狗去...

Operate the centrifuge

为盲人科学家

For blind scientists. I have to go.

操作离心机我要挂了

Howard it's the phone

霍华德电话响了!

I know it's the phone ma I hear the phone

我知道电话响了妈我耳朵不聋!

Well who's calling at this ungodly hour

是谁在这么邪恶的时间来电话?!

I don't know

不知道!

Well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour

那就问问他们为什么在这么邪恶的时间来电话?!

How can I ask them when I'm talking to you

我在跟你说话怎么问他们问题?!

Hello.

你好

It's leonard. code milky green.

霍华德我是里奥纳德牛奶绿色警报

Dear lord not milky green.

天呐不是真的吧

Affirmative. with fever.

警报属实伴有发烧症状

Who's on the phone

谁来的电话?

It's leonard

是里奥纳德!

Why is he calling

他为什么来电话?!

Sheldon's sick

谢尔顿病了!

Were you playing with him

你还跟他一起玩呢?!

For god's sake ma I'm 26 years old

看在上帝的份上妈我都二十六岁了!

Excuse me mr. grownup

不好意思长大了先生!

What do you want for breakfast

你早饭想吃什么?!

Chocolate milk and eggos please

巧克力牛奶和冰冻松饼谢谢!

listen to me. hang on. call waiting.

-听我说 -等下有呼叫等待

No don't...

不别...!

Hello.

你好

Howard I'm sick.

霍华德我病了

Howard's sleeping. this is his mother

霍华德在睡觉呢我是他妈!

Why are you calling at this ungodly hour

你为什么要在这么邪恶的时间来电话?

I need soup.

我要喝汤

Then call your own mother

找你自己的妈妈去!

It was sheldon.

是谢尔顿

i tried to stop you. it's my own fault.

-我刚才阻止你来着 -是我的错

I forgot the protocol we put in place

我忘了06年耳炎大事件之后

after the great ear infection of 06.

我们定下的协议了

You call koothrappali.

你打电话给库萨帕里

We need to find a place to lay low for the next 18 to 24 hours.

在接下来的18到24小时里我们要找地方躲起来

Stand by.

等一下

Ma can my friends come over

妈我朋友能来家里坐坐吗?

I just had the carpet steamed

我刚洗过地毯!

That's a negatory.

被否决了

But there's a planet of the apes marathon at the nuart today.

但是今天电影展里会上演"决战猩球"全集

Five movies two hours apiece..

5部电影每部2小时

It's a start.

算是个开始

Homeless crazy guy at table 18.

有个疯子加流浪汉在18号桌

No just crazy.

不只是疯子而已

Sheldon what are you doing here

谢尔顿你在这里做什么?

I'm sick. thank you very much.

我病了非常感谢

How could you have gotten if from me I'm not sick.

怎么会是我传染给你的呢? 我没有病

You're a carrier.

你是携带者

All these people here are doomed.

这里的所有人都在劫难逃

You're doomed

你们在劫难逃啦!

Sheldon what do you want

谢尔顿你想要干什么?

I want soup.

我想要喝汤

Why didn't you...

为什么你不...?

Why didn't you just have soup at home

为什么你不在家弄汤喝?

Penny I have an iq of 187.

潘妮我的智商是187

Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me

你不会想想如果我在家有办法

To have had soup at home I would have thought of it

喝汤的话你觉得我会来这里么?

You can have soup delivered.

你可以叫外卖啊

I did not think of that.

这点我倒没想过

Clearly febrile delirium is setting in.

很明显我已经处于发烧后的精神错乱状态了

Please bring me some soup

趁我还知道汤匙是做什么用

While I still understand what a spoon is for.

请快给我上汤吧

What kind of soup do you want

你想要什么汤?

Well my mother used to make me this split pea

我母亲过去给我做的汤里面有切开的豌豆

With little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons.

切片的法兰克福香肠和一些自制的油煎面包块

We have chicken tortilla and potato leek.

我们有鸡汤玉米汤和土豆葱汤

Could I get any of those with little frankfurter slices

有没有什么汤里是放切片的法兰克福香肠

And homemade croutons No.

和自制的油煎面包块的? 没有

Then surprise me.

那就给我个惊喜吧

Would you call that "moss green" or "forest green"

你们觉得它是黄绿色还是树绿色?

Look at this. everyone went chimp.

看看每个人都选了黑猩猩

I'd like to point out that I voted for orangutan

我要指出我之前提议选的是人猿

But you shouted me down

但是被你给否决了!

hi penny. hey where are you

-潘妮 -你在哪呢?

I'm... at work.

我在...工作

You sound funny.

你的声音很奇怪

Look. I'm... I'm in a radiation suit.

我...我穿着反辐射工作服

what's up i'm at work too

-有什么事吗? -我也在工作

And you'll never guess who's here infecting my entire station.

你绝对猜不到谁在这里用病菌感染着我整个工作区

Sheldon's at the cheesecake factory.

谢尔顿在芝士蛋糕店

just tell him to go home. he won't leave.

-告诉他让他回家 -他不走

He's afraid he'll pass out on the bus

他怕他会晕倒在公车上

And someone will harvest his organs.

然后有人会把他的器官割走

He's paranoid and he's established a nest.

他已经有妄想症状了不过他已经找到了地方呆着

Can you please come get him

你能过来接他吗?

Yeah I'd be happy to.

当然可以

Oh my god there's a breach in the radiation unit

我的天啊辐射室出现裂缝了!

The whole city is in jeopardy oh my god

整个城市要陷于危险中了! 我的天啊!

The containment vessel's melting. gotta go. bye

安全壳已经开始融化了不能说了拜!

I feel really guilty.

我感到非常内疚

You did what you had to do.

你做了你该做的

Take your stinking paws off my popcorn

把你的脏爪子从我的爆米花上移开

You damn dirty ape

你个恶心可恶的大猩猩!

Thanks for bringing me home.

谢谢你带我回家

It's okay. I didn't really need to work today.

没关系我今天不是很需要上班

It's not like I have rent or car payments or anything.

反正我也没车和房子的贷款要缴

Good good.

好那就好

Okay well you feel better.

好吧祝你康复

Wait where are you going

等等! 你要去哪里?

Home... to write some bad checks.

回家... 去写一些空头支票

You're going to leave me

你就这样扔下我不管?

Sheldon you are a grown man. haven't you ever been sick before

谢尔顿你已经长大了你之前没生过病吗

Of course but not by myself.

当然生过不过有人照顾我啊

Really never

真的? 从来没自己一人过?

Well once when I was 15

有一次我15岁

Spending the summer at the heidelberg institute in germany.

暑假的时候在德国的海德尔堡学院

Studying abroad

出国留学?

No. visiting professor.

不是被邀请当客座教授

Anyway the local cuisine was a little more sausage based

总之当地的烹饪方法用的香肠比我习惯的多了一些

Than I'm used to and the result was an internal blitzkrieg

结果就是肚子里上演了陆军联合闪电战

With my lower intestine playing the part of czechoslovakia.

我的大肠扮演的是捷克斯洛伐克

And there was no one there to take care of you

当时没有人在那里照顾你么?

My mom had to fly back to texas to help my dad

我妈要飞回德克萨斯帮我爸爸的忙

Because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again.

因为房子的煤渣砖又塌方了

again it was tornado season.

-又? -当时是狂风季节

And it was an aluminum house.

那是个临时工棚

The housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any english.

当时学院公寓里的管家不会讲英文

When I finally managed to convince her I was sick

当我终于让她相信我生病了的时候

She said "mochtest du eine darmspfilung "

她说 "mochtest du eine darmspfilung?"

What does that mean

那是什么意思?

Based on what happened next I assume it means

根据之后发生的事我认为意思是

"would you like an enema "

"你想要灌肠吗?"

Okay sweetie. I'll take care of you.

好吧亲爱的我来照顾你吧

What do you need

你需要我做什么

My mom used to give me sponge baths.

我妈妈常给我用海绵擦身

Ok ground rules. No sponge baths

基本规则禁止用海绵擦身

And definitely no enemas.

还有绝对禁止灌肠

Agreed.

同意

Here we go.

开始了

Ten and a half hours of ape y goodness.

2个半小时的猩猩大战老天啊

Damn it my glasses.

晕我的眼镜

Okay I'm blind here guys. can you help me find them

兄弟们我处于"半瞎"状态你们可以帮我找找么?

sorry. okay.

-对不起 -好

Found them.

找到了

Oh great.

好极了

I'm sorry. don't you have a spare

对不起你没有备用的吗

Yeah at home.

有啊可是在家里

If you leave now

如果你现在走

You can be back before the gorillas rip the crap out of charlton heston.

你可以赶在大猩猩把查尔顿·赫斯顿的屎掏出来之前回来

Unless sheldon's there in which case you'll be trapped forever

不过谢尔顿要是在家的话你就将永远被困在

In his whiny hyper neurotic snot web.

他那喋喋不休的超神经质的鼻涕网中

Hi. penny

潘妮吗

I was just wondering is sheldon still at the restaurant

我想问下谢尔顿还在店里吗

Okay that was very nice of you. okay I gotta go.

好的你真是个大好人我得挂了

Got kind of a full blown chernobyl thing here. gotta go bye.

切尔诺贝利事件升级了挂了再见

He's home. I'm screwed.

他在家我完了

Ten and a half hours of ape y blurriness.

要看十个半小时的模糊猩猩

How about lasik

做个激光手术怎么样?

You want me to get eye surgery

你想让我去做眼部手术?

Would you rather go home and deal with sheldon

你是宁可回家跟谢尔顿斗智斗勇

Or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam

还是在你的角膜上用激光切个奇怪的槽

well i'm thinking.

-怎么着? -我正在想

Okay nice and cozy.

好了很好很舒适

Okay I'll see you later.

好吧一会见

Wait.

等等

Will you please rub this on my chest

你能不能把这个擦在我胸上?

Sheldon can't you do that yourself

谢尔顿你自己不能干吗

Vaporub makes my hands smell funny.

维克斯达姆膏会弄得我手上闻起来很奇怪

but sheldon... please please please

-可是谢尔顿... -求你了求你了求你了

I can't believe I'm doing this.

真是被你打败了

No no. counterclockwise or my chest hair mats.

不不逆时针涂要不我胸毛就该打结了

Sorry.

对不起

Can you sing "soft kitty"

你能唱"乖乖猫"给我听吗

What

什么

My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick.

我妈妈在我病的时候总唱给我听

oh sorry honey. I don't know it. i'll teach you.

-对不起亲爱的我不会唱 -我可以教你

Soft kitty warm kitty

乖乖猫暖暖猫

Little ball of fur

小小毛绒球

Happy kitty sleepy kitty

快乐猫瞌睡猫

Purr purr purr

呜呜呜(猫的叫声)

Now you.

该你了

Soft kitty

乖乖猫

Warm kitty...

暖暖猫

Little ball of fur

小小毛绒球

Keep rubbing.

手别停

Little ball of fur

小小毛绒球

What do you see I can't.

你看到什么了? 我看不到

The living room appears to be empty.

客厅好像没人

He must be in his bedroom.

他肯定在他卧室

My spare glasses are in my bedroom on my dresser

我的备用眼镜在我卧室的柜子上

Next to my bat signal.

就挨着我的蝙蝠侠发光器

I'm not going in there.

我又不进去

raj no way jose.

-拉杰? -没门伙计

But I can't do it. I can't see anything.

可是我没法去拿啊我什么都看不到

It's all right. wireless minicam and bluetooth headset.

那没关系有无线迷你摄像头和蓝牙耳机

We'll be your eyes.

我们就是你的眼睛

Fine.

好吧

One more thing.

还有个玩意儿

This is a subsonic impact sensor.

这是个次音速冲击传感器

If sheldon gets out of bed and starts to walk

如果谢尔顿下床并开始走路

This device will register it and send a signal to the laptop.

这个器件会记录下来并把信号发回笔记本

At that point based on the geography of the apartment

由此根据这间公寓的地理结构

And the ambulatory speed of a sick sheldon

和病猫谢尔顿的步行速度

You'll have 7 seconds to get out glasses or no glasses.

你有7秒钟的时间出来带眼镜或者不戴眼镜

Won't my footsteps set it off

我的脚步声不会干扰它判断吗?

No. you'll be on your hands and knees.

不会你只能用你的手和膝盖走路

You'll need to get the sensor as close as you can to sheldon's room.

你要把这个传感器放到离谢尔顿尽可能近的地方

How do I carry it if I'm on my hands and knees

我用手和膝盖走路我怎么带着这个玩意?

Stay low.

低一点

Bear left.

左转

now keep true. what

-现在直给 -什么

it means "go straight." then just say "go straight."

-意思是"一直走" -说"一直走"不就得了

You don't say "go straight."

你报方位的时候

When you're giving bearings you say "keep true."

不说"一直走" 是说"直给"

All right.

好吧

I just hit my head.

我把头给撞了

Because you didn't keep true.

因为你没"直给"

Okay turn right.

好啦右转

The picture's breaking up.

图像受损了

Angle your head to the right.

把你的脑袋往右斜

Now a little more.

再来点儿

Little more.

再来点儿

That's it. now just keep true.

好了现在直给吧

You're close enough to sheldon's room. deploy the sensor.

你离谢尔顿的屋子已经很近了可以部署传感器了

Now turn it on.

现在把它打开

It wasn't on

它没开着吗?

Then why did I have to crawl

那我干嘛还要爬着进来

No I guess you didn't.

是我想你可以不用

Okay it's on.

好了打开了

Good. from this point forward you will have to crawl.

好从现在开始你就得爬着走了

I know.

明白

Hang on the sensor's picking up something. turn your head back.

等等传感器探测到了什么把头转回去

You rat bastard.

你真不是个东西

Told you the sensor would work.

看传感器能用的吧

You deliberately stuck me with sheldon.

你成心让我在这陪着谢尔顿活受罪

Come on I had to. you see what he's like

没办法我也是不得以啊你也看到谢尔顿什么样了

Penny I'm hungry.

潘妮我饿了

It's okay sweetie. good news leonard's home

好的亲爱的有好消息里奥纳德回来了

Here you go. good luck. bye.

交给你了祝你好运再见

Leonard I'm hungry

里奥纳德我饿了

Penny take me with you

潘妮把我带上吧

I want grilled cheese.

我想吃烤芝士三明治

Do you think penny will come here and take care of us

你觉得潘妮会过来照顾咱们吗

I don't think penny's ever coming here again.

我觉得潘妮再也不会到这来了

I'm very congested.

我鼻塞得厉害

Yeah so

怎么?

Could you go to the kitchen

你能不能帮我去厨房

And get me the turkey baster labeled "mucous"

拿一个标有"分泌粘液"的胶头滴管

If I stand I'll vomit.

我一站起来我就会吐的

Under the sink yellow tupper ware bowl.

在水槽下面黄色的特百惠碗

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