生活大爆炸-S05E06_生活大爆炸

S01

So what kind of cruise is this you're going on

您这次要参加的是什么样的巡航

It's called the Born Again Boat Ride.

这次水上之行称为"重生之旅"

Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating

基督教季刊给予了这次旅途最高的评价

five thorny crowns.

五颗荆棘王冠呢

I do wish you'd come with me Sheldon.

我真希望你能跟我一起去谢尔顿

Well Mom if I did it would be conclusive proof

老妈如果我去了就等于直接证明

that your God can work miracles.

您的神真的能造就奇迹

You're missing out.

这你可就错了

It's gonna be wall to wall fun.

到时候欢乐肯定无所不在

It's all themed.

全都有主题哦

There's Jonah and the Whale watching.

届时能看到"约拿和鲸鱼"[圣经故事]

All you can eat Last Supper Buffet.

你还能吃到名为"最后的晚餐"的自助餐

And my personal favorite Gunning with God.

以及我本人的最爱 "神之恕击"

What's Gunning with God I'm afraid to ask.

我冒昧的问一下什么叫"神之恕击"

Oh it is a hoot and a half.

说起来非常的有趣

You write your sins on a clay pigeon

首先将你的罪恶写在一个泥制飞靶上

they fire 'em up in the air

再用机器把靶子弹射出去

and you pulverize them with a 12 gauge shotgun

然后你拿一把12发弹容的散弹枪打爆它

full of our Lord's forgiveness.

充满了神的宽恕啊

Frankly Mom I'm encouraged to see

老实说妈妈我很高兴看到

how advanced your group has become

你们天主教团思想进步了

暗讽《圣经》里多处暗示大地是一块平板

you are willing to sail out into the ocean

敢于出海

without fear of falling off the edge.

不再担心地球是平的船会摔下去

For example

打个比方

if Shelly was aboard he'd write

如果谢利在船上他应该

"Smart mouth" on his pigeon

在飞靶写上"牙尖嘴利"

and then bam

然后来个五雷轰顶

The Lord giveth and the Lord bloweth away.

神予之神毁之

Well Mom according to my itinerary for our weekend together

老妈根据我们以往周末的安排

the fun begins with fried chicken. Sounds delicious.

-欢乐应该始于炸鸡 -听起来很美味啊

Good 'cause I got you everything you need to make it.

很好因为我已经帮你备齐了所有材料

You are in for a treat.

你有口福了

My mother's fried chicken

我爸的棺材

is why we had to buy my dad the extra large coffin.

之所以变成加大号的就是因为我妈的炸鸡美味

Sheldon she just got off the plane.

谢尔顿她刚下飞机

She doesn't want to cook.

她不想做饭了

Of course she does.

她当然想做

Making me food is her way of saying "I love you""

做饭给我吃是她向我表达"我爱你"的方式

Making me food when she's too tired to cook

在她筋疲力尽的时候做给我吃

is her way of saying "I really love you."

是她向我表达"我真的很爱你"的方式

Actually I wouldn't mind going out for a bite Sheldon.

其实我并不介意出去吃谢尔顿

Won't that spoil our appetites

吃那些粗粮

for the chicken you're going to make me

会坏了吃炸鸡的好胃口吧

All right that settles it we're going out.

好了就这么定了我们出去吃

Do you like sushi There's a great little place down the street.

你喜欢吃寿司吗街上有家小店不错

I've never had it

我没吃过寿司

but there's no harm in trying something new.

不过试试新鲜事物总没什么坏处

There's a lot of harm in trying something new.

尝试新鲜事物坏处多了

That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits.

所以要用兔子来测试药物和化妆品的安全性

Sheldon you're talking like a crazy person.

谢尔顿你的言行像个疯子

Actually I had him tested as a child.

其实他小时候我带他检查过了

Doctor says he's fine.

医生说他很正常

Told you.

早跟你说了

Although I do regret not following up

虽然我很后悔没接着去找

with that specialist in Houston.

休斯顿的那位专家

いらっしゃいます

欢迎光临

Stop yelling

别瞎嚷嚷了

I'm not happy about this.

来这儿我很不开心

What's the last thing you were ever happy about

你这辈子什么时候开心过吗

The prospect of fried chicken.

等着吃炸鸡的时候

This is exciting.

真令人激动

Back home the diner on Route Four serves sushi

咱家四号公路线那的馆子也卖寿司

but it's just cut up fish sticks

但他们只是把炸鱼排切碎

and a side of Uncle Ben's.

再配上"本恩大叔"牌速食米饭

They put it on the menu in those kung fu letters

即使他们用"功夫文"写菜单

but that don't make it sushi.

但假货就假货

Uh kung fu letters might not be politically correct.

额 "功夫文"好像有点种族歧视吧

Oh I thought the one we couldn't say was "ching chong"

我还以为只有"ching chong"是不能说的呢

ching chong:外国人模仿中国话发音变相对亚洲人的种族诋毁的词语

Yeah yeah that too.

额对那个也不能说

So Shelly

谢利

what's up with you and your friend Amy

你和你的朋友艾米进展如何了

if you don't mind a mother prying a bit

如果你不介意妈妈窥探点隐私的话

Well there's actually big news on the Amy front.

艾米的确有大进展

She's been studying

她最近在研究

the neurobiology of addiction in lower animals.

神经生物学中有关低等生物的上瘾问题

She's this close to getting a starfish hooked on cocaine.

她就差这么一点点就能让海星迷上可卡因了

Do you have any idea what's going on with those two

你知道他们两个发展的情况吗

It's kind of like the Loch Ness monster.

他们俩的关系就像尼斯湖水怪

Maybe there's something there maybe there isn't.

也许事实存在也许不存在

We'll probably never know.

真相可能永远藏在湖里

But sometimes it's fun to creep yourself out thinking about it.

偷想这问题来惊吓一下自己还是挺有意思的

How are you doing on the young lady front

你跟年轻女孩子相处得怎样

I hear you're in some sort of a long distance situation

我听闻你被异地恋困扰着

Yeah it's Raj's sister.

是啊拉杰的妹妹

It's kind of tough. She's in India.

情况比较棘手她远在印度

Also her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white.

她父母也不希望她跟白种人交往

Oh that's a funny turn isn't it

那真是个有趣的转机不是吗

You never think about it going the other way.

在约会之前你怎么没想过这个问题呢

Well you can't force things.

有些事情你强求不来

You need to figure out if you're in a relationship

你应该想想你们是否真的是在交往

or if you're just calling it one.

还是你们只是名义上的

It's like they say a cat can have kittens in the oven

就好像常言道你可以把米放到电锅里

but that don't make 'em biscuits.

不代表米就会成炊

And that reminds me of another saying.

这提醒了我另外一句常言

You can lead a chicken to Crisco

你可以诱拐鸡跳炸锅

but you can't make your mother fry it.

但不代表你能诱拐你妈去炸鸡

Sheldon you pester me one more time about chicken

谢尔顿你再拿鸡的事情烦我

I will put you over my knee right here in this restaurant.

我就把你按到我膝盖上当众打你屁股

Please pester her. Please for me.

求你烦她吧就当为了我

So Mrs. Cooper what did you think of the sushi

库珀夫人你觉得寿司如何

It was good.

很不错

The only thing that would have made it better

唯一美中不足的是

is if it was cooked

它要是熟食就好了

and if it was beef.

要是夹牛肉就更棒了

Sheldon when is your landlord going to fix the elevator

谢尔顿你房东何时能把电梯修理一下

I don't know.

我不清楚

Lately we've been talking about

最近我们有在商量

converting it into a missile silo.

把电梯改造成导弹发射井

Your son seems to think

你儿子似乎觉得

we need to launch a preemptive strike on Burbank.

咱们得先对伯班克发动攻击啊

Get them before they get us.

先下手为强后下手遭殃嘛

Hey look who decided to show up.

看看是谁大驾光临了

Raj what are you doing

拉杰你搞什么

I couldn't find you guys so I bought six new friends.

我找不到你们就买了六个新朋友

Three sadly are dead.

可惜的是有三个已经阵亡了

Mom you remember Rajesh

妈妈你记得拉杰吗

Rajesh my mother. Of course.Mrs. Cooper.

-拉杰这位是我妈妈 -当然记得库珀夫人嘛

So nice to see you again.

很高兴再见到你

Well it's so nice to see you too.

我也是

I thought it was our Indians

我以为印第安人才偶有酗酒问题

that had the occasional alcohol problem.

没想到印度人也会呀

印第安人和印度人都叫Indian

We don't say that either.

这也带歧视不能说

I'll make you a list.

我回头列个单子给你

Oh that would be mighty white of you.

你真是太好了不愧是白人

So Raj what pain are you trying

拉杰你借酒浇愁

to cover up with alcohol

是为了什么事

Nothing I'm fine.

没什么我很好

Are ya No.

-是吗 -不我不好

That's better.

这样好多了

Now tell me what's bothering you.

说说你有什么困扰

I'm so lonely.

我好孤独

Oh yes born alone die alone.

当然了孤单的出生孤独的死去

It's a tragic human condition.

人类就是如此悲剧

Now Raj

拉杰

if you'll excuse my mother

你快别烦我妈了

she's about to make a pecan pie

她要去给我做核桃派

that'll be so good

要是好吃

I'll almost forget how she blew it with the fried chicken.

我就暂时不计较炸鸡的事

Sheldon your friend is hurtin'.

谢尔顿你朋友很伤心

What do we do when someone's hurtin'

这个时候我们该怎么做

Offer them a hot beverage.

给他们倒一杯热饮

And when they're drunk as a skunk

而要是他们喝得跟个鬼似的

what beverage do we offer

我们该给他们什么饮料

Coffee.

咖啡

And what do we do it with

还得要怎样

Now you listen to me.

现在你给我听好

I know you feel like you can't find someone

我知道你感觉自己注定是剩男

but there's a lock for every key.

但每个问题都有解决方法

Back home there's a girl works at the Wal Mart.

以前有个在沃尔玛工作的女孩

Tall tall girl.

长得实在太高

Woman could hunt geese with a rake.

她用钉耙就能把鹅从空中打下来了

Thought she'd never find a man

她觉得自己找不到男人

then one day wouldn't ya know

但有一天谁知道呢

Harlem Globetrotters come to town.

哈林篮球队的人来到镇上

Harlem Globetrotters 哈林环球旅行者篮球队

Long story short

长话短说

today that woman travels the world

现在这个女人和一个

with a semi professional basketball player

半职业篮球选手周游世界

and two beautiful mixed race babies.

还生了两个漂亮的混血宝宝

I didn't get a lot of that because of your accent

虽然因为你的口音问题我没怎么听懂

but the general tone was soothing

但你的语气很抚慰人心

and somehow I feel better.

我感觉好多了

I'm not going to get my pecan pie am I

我吃不到核桃派了是吧

You want some Oreos

你想来点奥利奥吗

Double Stuf No regular.

-混合夹心的吗 -不是普通的

Nice. Kick a man when he's down.

不错真会在伤口上撒盐

I'm glad we're finally getting to do something together

很高兴我们终于可以一起做点事情

just the two of us. Sure.

-就我们两个人 -当然

One thing you really miss when you're on vacation is laundry.

出来度假还有衣服要洗真是开心啊

Careful you're using too much Downey.

注意点你松软剂放太多了

You know if my clothes get too soft it makes me sleepy.

要是我衣服太柔软我穿着会想睡觉的

Well this takes me back.

这让我想起了以前的日子

Me doing your laundry you next to me criticizing.

我帮你洗衣服而你在旁边碎碎念

It is nice isn't it

很有爱吧

Mrs. Cooper.

库珀夫人

Oh hello darlin'.

你好亲爱的

Sheldon you didn't tell me your mom was coming.

谢尔顿你都没告诉我你妈妈要来

It was in my weekly e mail blast.

我在一周邮件集锦中写了的

Right between "Beet season is finally here"

就在"甜菜季终于来了"

and "Uh oh red stool from beets leads to cancer scare."

和"神马甜菜根会致癌"这两条中间

So how've you been

你最近怎么样

Good good.

很好啊

I hear that Leonard has a new girlfriend.

我听说莱纳德交了新女友

How are you doing with all that

你感觉怎么样

Oh fine. You know it's been a while.

还好啦已经过了一阵了

I'm getting back out there.

我已经重新开始物色对象了

Let me ask you when you get back out there

我多嘴问一句你物色对象的时候

are you wearing this

不会是穿着这个吧

Well it's super cute on.

这个吊带超好看的

That top has paid for itself in free drinks

全靠它别人才免费请我喝酒

like ten times what it cost.

省下的酒钱都够买十件了

Yes Penny has a lot of her money tied up in promiscuity futures.

对佩妮的钱基本都是靠滥交来的

Hon you think maybe the reason

亲爱的你也许该知道

why you're having trouble finding a guy to settle down with

你一直找不到一个合适的人

is because you're letting them ride the roller coaster

是因为你总让男人们先"上"车

without buying a ticket

而不让他们掏一个子儿

Oh they don't always get to ride the roller coaster.

不是谁都有福分能"上"云霄飞车

Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

没福分的就只能在一旁玩玩咖啡"杯"

Now I'm going out tonight.

我今晚要出去

Would it be crazy to ask you

要是我请你帮我选衣服

to look at the outfit I'm going to wear

这样会不会太疯狂了

Oh not crazy at all.

一点也不蠢

And don't beat yourself up.

别看轻自己

When I was your age you could have me for a car ride

我像你这么大的时候

and a bottle of strawberry wine.

一瓶草莓酒就能骗我出去兜风了

That will not be in this week's e mail blast.

我可不会把这个写进本周邮件集锦里

So this spring

今年春天

I get to go to the International Space Station.

我要出发去国际空间站

Oh my word a trip to the heavens.

上帝啊上天堂呀

If you ever want to live there eternally

如果你想在那里定居

I've got a good book you could read.

我这有本好书你可以看看

查理·布朗:史努比的主人

Thanks but I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special every year

心领了不过我每年都看《查理·布朗的圣诞节》特辑

so I get the gist.

所以也不会无聊

I bet your mom is really proud of you. Nope.

-你妈妈肯定很以你为荣 -不

She says if I don't back out

她说如果我不退出

she's going to go on a hunger strike.

她就要绝食抗议

It would take years before

虽然离出现生命危险

she'd be in any kind of danger but still.

得有好几年时间但我还是于心不忍

I've got a treat for us tomorrow Mom.

我们明天去好好玩一天妈妈

I'm taking you

我要带你

to see Saul Perlmutter give a lecture

去看索尔·珀尔马特演讲

Saul Perlmutter 2011诺贝尔物理学家得主

about his Nobel Prize winning work in cosmology.

他那赢得诺贝尔奖的宇宙学研究成果

And the best part is

但最精彩的部分是

at the Q and A afterward

在后面的问答阶段

I've worked up a couple of "Q's"

我准备了几个问题

that will stump his sorry "A."

绝对能把他问哭

I don't know Shelly.

我不确定谢利

I thought we could do a little sightseeing.

我觉得我们可以去观观光

What sight is better than your little boy

有什么景色能与你儿子

embarrassing a Nobel laureate

让诺贝尔奖得主颜面扫地相媲美呢

Come on Sheldon we'll take your mom

别这样谢尔顿我们可以带你妈

to see the Hollywood sign

去看看好莱坞标志

the wax museum the Walk of Fame.

参观蜡像馆走走星光大道

Ooh maybe a little Rodeo Drive.

也可以去逛逛罗迪欧大道[名牌商业街]

Well I can't spend $12 000 on a handbag

一万二的手袋我可买不起

but it's free to look upon those

但用正义的眼光谴责那些

who do with righteous condemnation.

买得起的人这倒是不用花钱的

What do you say

你觉得怎么样

What do I say

我觉得怎么样

I say you people need to stop ruining my mom's visit

我真心觉得我妈来探望我关你们屁事

with your sushi and your sadness

去你的寿司滚你的悲伤

and your slutty shirts.

还有你的放荡小吊带

Stop it.

你们收手吧

He's not talking about your shirt. Your shirt is fine.

他不是说你你的衣服密不透风

These are delicious.

这真是美味啊

The trick to pancakes is bacon grease.

煎薄饼的秘诀就是用培根油

I cook everything in it.

我做什么都放这油

Everything Aren't you worried about your health

每样都放吗你不怕有害健康吗

Oh doctors are always changing their mind.

医生说话一向自相矛盾的

One week bacon grease is bad for you.

这个星期说你不能吃培根油

The next week we're not getting enough of it.

下个星期就说你吃得不够多

Good morning Shelly.

早上好谢利

Mom I want to apologize for my behavior last night.

妈妈我要为我昨晚的行为道歉

Apology accepted. Great.

-接受你的道歉 -太好了

Now you're going to love the Perlmutter lecture.

你会喜欢珀尔马特的演讲的

Look he will be stating that the universe is older than 6 000 years

他会说宇宙现在已有六千多年历史

but I thought you could stick your fingers in your ears

我觉得这时你可以用手指塞住耳朵

and hum "Amazing Grace" during those parts.

然后低声哼唱《奇异恩典》[基督教圣诗]

I am still going out with your friends.

我还是要跟你朋友出去

But I apologized.

可我已经道歉了

And that was hard for me because I didn't do anything wrong.

我容易吗我我又没做错什么

Shelly I hung out with you in enough dusty lecture halls

谢利从小到大那些枯燥无味的演讲

while you were growing up.

我已经陪你听得够多了

I want to go sightseeing.

我现在要去观光

So why don't you have some pancakes

你何不吃点煎薄饼

get dressed and come with us.

穿好衣服跟我们一起去

I'm not going and you can't make me.

我不去你不能逼我

You're right I can't. Have a nice day.

你说得对我不能逼你你自个儿玩得开心点

Well I'm going to stand here until you change your mind.

那我就一直站在这里直到你回心转意

Well then you are going to stand there all day.

那你就在那儿站一天吧

I'm just gonna take my bacon grease and slide over there.

我还是带上我的培根油闪一边去吧

I can't believe my own mother is abandoning me.

真没想到我妈妈居然要抛弃我

I am not abandoning you.

我没有要抛弃你

Sheldon abandoning you is leaving you in a basket

谢尔顿要抛弃你我早把你放篮子里

on a church doorstep.

扔教堂门口了

I am going to Hollywood and thank a wax Ronald Reagan

我要去好莱坞对着里根总统的蜡像说

for his service to our country.

感谢他对国家做的贡献

We appear to be at a crossroads in our relationship Mother.

看来我们的母子关系处在十字路口了妈妈

Well I guess we are.

看来如此

Sorry. Syrup.

不好意思忘了拿糖浆

All right Mom.

好吧妈妈

在美国田纳西州纪念Robert Ripley

When you're at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum

等你进到"瑞普利信不信由你"博物馆

if they have an exhibit about a mother who threw away a chance

如果那里有展出情愿扔掉大好机会

to spend the day with the world's most wonderful son

也不愿陪她的天才儿子玩一天的母亲

believe it because it's true.

你要相信因为真有这种妈妈

I hadn't...

我还没...

That lecture was a waste of time.

听这场演讲真是浪费时间

I made more accurate diagrams

我还穿尿布的时候

of the expansion of the early universe on the nursery wall

用尿布里的物体在幼儿园墙上画的

with the contents of my diaper.

早期宇宙膨胀图都比他的准

Are you getting sick

你是不是病了

No I'm just allergic to people

不是只是对那些

who get Nobel Prizes for no good reason.

平白无故就得诺贝尔奖的人过敏

Sheldon is it possible that your foul mood

谢尔顿你心情不好

or to use the clinical term bitchiness

或者用临床术语说嘴贱

is because your mother isn't making you a priority

是因为你妈妈没有把你放在第一位

No. Or to use the clinical term "nuh uh""

不是或者用临床术语说我呸

Are you sure The infant mother pair bond

你确定吗母婴配对关系

is the building block of primate psychology.

是灵长类动物心理的基础

Oh there it is.

又来了

It always comes back to monkeys with you.

什么东西到你嘴里都绕回猴子身上

Just monkeys monkeys monkeys.

除了猴子还是猴子

Sheldon we're all animals.

谢尔顿人类也是动物

And granted there are aspects of you that are extraordinary

虽然你有一些过人之处

but when it comes to emotions and relationships

但说到情绪和人际关系

you're just like everybody else.

你跟普通人没什么两样

Are you trying to suggest that my emotional problems

你是说我的情绪问题

are no different than those of a stupid person

跟那些白痴没什么两样吗

Actually some research indicates

实际上有些研究表明

that by not overthinking

不过分考虑的话

the less intelligent handle emotions better.

智商较低的人情绪控制得更好

Sure you're not coming down with a cold

你确定你不是感冒了吗

Oh yes the common cold.

是啊是啊就跟其他人一样

Just like everyone else.

得那种普通的感冒呀

You'd love that wouldn't you

那样你就爽了对吧

Oh this one's sweet.

这间挺漂亮的嘛

指天主教念玫瑰经时用一串念珠

You know for your rosary rattlers.

对你们这种拿着念珠念经的人来说不错了

Mrs. Cooper we say "Catholics" not "rosary rattlers".

库珀太太那些是天主教徒不是"拿着念珠念经的人"

My goodness it's a wonder you people in California

上帝啊加利福尼亚怎么这么多条条框框

can talk at all.

还让不让人讲话了

This is like the worst Hollywood tour ever.

这真是史上最烂的好莱坞之旅了

What are we gonna do She wanted to see churches.

咱有什么办法谁叫她非要逛教堂呢

Hey they have wine here don't they

教堂里有酒的对吧

None of our gods have abs like that.

我们印度的神可没有这么强壮的腹肌

Yep that's the last Jew who did sit ups.

没错这是最后一个坚持做仰卧起坐的犹太人

And look where it got him.

可你看看他的下场

Hey while we're here why don't we all do some praying

既然咱们都来了何不一块祷告呢

Let's put a little church in this church.

给这个教堂也添点教堂的气氛嘛

Oh I'm not sure we should...

我觉得我们不...

It's easy. I'll show you how.

很简单的我教你

Lord Mary Cooper here.

主啊玛丽·库珀在此

蛾摩拉城是圣经中的罪恶之都

Coming to you from Gomorrah California.

我从加利福尼亚州的蛾摩拉城前来膜拜

I want to thank you

我想感谢您

for the blessing that is my little Shelly.

保佑我的小宝贝谢利

I also want to thank you for the continued strength

我还想感谢您一直赐予我宽容的力量

not to coldcock him with my Bible.

我才没用圣经把他给拍晕

All right Penny your turn.

好了佩妮到你了

Okay um...

好吧

Hey God.

好呀上帝

What's up

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