生活大爆炸-S01E14_生活大爆炸

S01

This sandwich is an unmitigated disaster.

这三明治真是个彻底的失败品

I asked for turkey and roast beef

我点的是火鸡和烤牛肉

With lettuce and swiss on whole wheat.

全麦上放生菜和芝士

What did they give you

那他们给你的什么?

Turkey and roast beef

火鸡和烤牛肉

With swiss and lettuce on whole wheat.

全麦上放的芝士和生菜

It's the right ingredients but in the wrong order.

东西确实一样但是顺序不对啊

In a proper sandwich

一个合格的三明治

The cheese is adjacent to the bread

它的芝士要紧贴着面包

To create a moisture barrier against the lettuce.

这样会提供给生菜一个有水分的屏障

They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash.

他们可能带着这玩意过了一趟洗车房

I don't believe it.

不太可能吧

I know. it's basic culinary science.

我知道这是很基本的烹饪知识

Some guy is auctioning off a miniature time machine prop

有人拍卖了一个原版电影里用过的时间机器道具

From the original film and no one is bidding on it.

但竟然没人竞拍

A time machine from the movie the time machine

电影"时间机器"里的时间机器?

No. a time machine from sophie's choice.

不是"苏菲的选择"里的时间机器

Boy sophie could have used a time machine in that movie.

厉害苏菲在电影里是用过一个时间机器

Did you see it it's rough.

你见过吗? 挺刚猛啊

Oh that's cool.

酷毙了

It's only $800

只要800美金?

Yeah. and that's my bid.

没错那是我出的价钱

You bid $800

你出价800美元?

It was a spur of the moment thing.

我没多想一时定下的嘛

I figured it would go for thousands

我想它怎么都会飙到上千的

And I just wanted to be a part of it.

我只是想参与一下而已

There's only 30 seconds left in the auction.

拍卖还剩30秒就结束了

Do you have $800

你有800美金吗?

Not to blow on a miniature time machine.

撼动不了这台小型时间机器

Well don't worry. the way these things work

别担心一般大家都是

Is people wait until the last second to bid

等到最后一秒钟

And then they swoop in and get it. it's called sniping.

然后突然杀进来把它拍走这就叫淘宝

15 seconds.

15秒

Come on snipers.

快点啊淘宝人

10 9 8...

Ten, nine, eight...

Where are your snipers

你的淘宝人呢?

Five... snipe.

5 淘啊

Four... snipe.

4 淘啊

Three... snipe

3 淘啊

Two... snipe

2 淘啊

One...

Congratulations

祝贺你

You are the proud owner of a miniature time machine

你光荣地成为这台小型时间机器的主人了

You lucky duck.

你个幸运的家伙

I wonder why no one else bid.

我想不通怎么没人竞拍了

This is a classic piece of sci fi movie memorabilia.

这是部经典高科技电影里很有纪念意义的东西啊

Yeah I know I still can't afford it.

我知道可我仍然没钱买它

Why don't we share it

要不我们一起凑钱吧?

We'll each put in 200 bucks and we'll

我们每人出200

Take turns having it in our house.

然后我们轮流把它放家里

A time share time machine.

一个时间共享的时间机器

I'm in. sheldon

我同意谢尔顿?

Need you ask

还用你问吗?

I still don't understand why no one else bid.

可我还是不明白怎么就没人出价

I understand why no one else bid.

我明白为什么没人出价了

Did the listing actually say "miniature"

那单子上确实有写是小型的吗?

I just assumed.

我也在想

Who sells a full size time machine for $800

谁会800块就卖一个完整尺寸的时间机器啊?

In a venn diagram that would be an individual located

在文氏图中可能是一个在"不想要我的时间机器"

Within the intersection of the sets "no longer want my time machine"

和"急需800块钱"两区间

And "need $800."

取交集的人

It's actually a tremendous bargain.

这个价钱的确非常低了

Even with shipping it works out

就算加上运费

To less than four dollars a pound.

算下来平均每磅不到4美金呢

Cocktail shrimp are $12.50.

调味酱稣虾是12块5

How are we going to get it upstairs

我们怎么把这玩意弄上楼?

If we take the dish off

如果把这个盘子取下来

It might fit in the elevator.

应该能放进电梯里

Yes but the elevator has been broken for two years.

对可是电梯都坏了2年了

I've been meaning to ask you.

我曾经想问过你

Do you think we should make a call about that

你说我们是不是该打个电话呢

Not necessary.

没必要

I have a master's in engineering.

我是工程学硕士

I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis.

我闭眼都能远程修复卫星

I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads.

我还能检修航天飞机载弹头

When the mars rover started pulling to the left I performed

当火星探测器开始向左行驶时

A front end alignment from 62 million miles away.

我在6200万英里以外进行用户接口联合

No. that baby's broken.

不这宝贝已经坏了

Come on guys push

加油啊伙计们用力推!

If I push any harder

如果我再用力

I'm going to give birth to my colon.

就快把结肠给"分娩"出来了

I can't feel my fingers. hurry up

我手指都快没知觉了快点!

It's the same amount of work

不管多快

No matter how fast you go.

工作量都是一样的

Basic physics.

基本的物理原理

Sheldon yeah

-谢尔顿? -干嘛?

If my fingers ever work again

如果我的手指以后还能用

I've got a job for the middle one.

我想我的中指以后有活干了

Oh. hey guys.

好各位

Oh. hi penny.

你好潘妮

Take a break guys.

休息一会吧

What are you doing

你们在干什么

We're just you know moving something upstairs.

我们在...搬点东西上来

What is it

什么东西

Just... you know. time machine.

就是个...时间机器

Yeah. okay. neat. but I really got to get to work.

好的不错但我要赶去工作了所以...

Just give us a few minutes. I don't have a few minutes.

-再给我们几分钟 -我等不了几分钟

I'm running really late.

我已经晚了

Then I have a simple solution.

我有个简单的办法

Go up to the roof. hop over to the next building.

去到楼顶跳到另一栋楼顶上

There's a small gap

中间离得不远

Don't look down if you're subject to vertigo

如果你容易晕就别往下看

And use their stairwell.

然后走他们的楼梯井

You're joking right

你逗我玩呢是吧?

Oh I never joke when it comes to vertigo.

跟头晕有关的东西我从不开玩笑

Damn. okay I'll just take the roof.

该死好吧我去房顶看看

Hey if you wait for us to set up the time machine

如果你能等我们把时间机器都弄好了

I can drop you off at work yesterday.

我可以把你送回到昨天上班时

Time travel joke. it's not... never mind.

时光旅行开个玩笑...别介意

For what it's worth I thought it was humorous.

从它的用途来看我觉得还是挺好笑的

Let's just do this.

还是接着搬吧

You guys ready to push

兄弟们准备好推了没?

In a minute.

马上

Howard stepped outside to throw up.

霍华德到外面去吐了

I don't know what you were worried about.

我不懂你到底在担心什么

I think it really works in the room.

我觉得他放在房间里肯定能行

Yeah.

是啊

It is by far the coolest thing

这绝对是我拥有过的

I have ever owned.

最酷的东西

The exact time machine that carried actor rod taylor

那个载着演员罗德·泰勒

From victorian england

从维多利亚时代的英格兰

Into the post apocalyptic future

到临近未来世界末日的时间机器

Where society had splintered into the two factions

那个社会分裂成两个派系

The subterranean morlocks who survived by feasting

居住在地下的"莫洛克"

On the flesh of the gentle surface dwelling eloi.

他们靠吃住在地表的"埃洛依"维生

Talk about your chick magnets.

真是性感的万人迷啊

Oh yeah.

是没错

The guy who lives next to me is always like

那个住我旁隔壁的家伙总是

"i have a jacuzzi on my balcony.

"我的阳台上有个水流按摩浴缸

I have a jacuzzi on my balcony."

我的阳台上有个水流按摩浴缸"

But wait until I tell him

可等着看我告诉他

"i've got a time machine on my balcony.

"我的阳台上有一台时间机器

Stuff that in your speedo jacuzzi bob."

把泳裤裹裹紧吧按摩浴缸"

Gentlemen I know we said we'd take turns

先生们我知道我们说好是轮流拥有它

But I think you'll agree

但我想你们会认同说

That practicality dictates it remain here.

实际上就意味着它是留在这儿的

You can't just keep it here.

你不能就这么独吞了

What if I meet a girl and say

假如我碰到个小妞然后跟她说

"you want to come up and see my time machine

"你想上去看看我的时间机器吗

It's at my friends' house."

它在我朋友家里"

How lame is that

多丢人啊!

He's got a point. all right

-他说的对 -好吧

I think we're going to need some ground rules in addition

我觉得我们该订些基本原则

To the expected "no shoes in the time machine "

除了"进时间机器禁止穿鞋"

And "no eating in the time machine "

以及"时间机器内禁止饮食"

I propose we add "pants must be worn

我还建议"进时间机器

At all times in the time machine."

必须要穿裤子'

Seconded.

赞成!

I was going to put down a towel.

我还准备在里面放条毛巾呢

I still want it on my balcony.

我还是希望它能放在我的阳台上

I say we move it on a bi monthly basis.

我说我们就两月轮一次(或一月轮两次)吧

Yeah that sounds fair.

是啊听上去挺公平

Hold on bi monthly is an ambiguous term.

等等两月轮一次很模棱两可啊

Do you mean move it every other month or twice a month

意思是每两月搬一次还是每个月搬两次?

Twice a month. then no.

-一月两次 -那就不行

Okay every other month.

那好两月一次

No.

还是不行

Sheldon you can't be selfish.

谢尔顿你不能这么自私!

We all paid for it so it belongs to all of us.

我们都付了钱所以它是大家的

Now get out of the way so I can sit in my time machine.

现在快让开别挡着我进我的时间机器

Okay I am setting the dials for march 10 1876.

好的我设置时间到1876年3月10日

Good choice alexander graham bell

好主意亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔

Invents the telephone and calls out for dr. watson.

发明了电话并打给了沃森博士

Wait a minute. I'd want to see that too.

等等我也想看看这个场面

So when it's your turn you can.

轮到你的时候随你想干嘛

But if we all go back to the same point in time

不过如果我们都去同一个时间点

Bell's lab is going to get very crowded.

贝尔的实验室就太挤了

He'll know something's up.

他就会知道有大事发生了

Also since the time machine doesn't move in space

而且时间机器不会进行空间上的位移

You'll end up in 1876 pasadena.

所以你会"降临"在1876年的帕萨迪纳

And even if you can make it to boston what are you going to do

即使你降临在了波士顿你又能干嘛呢

Knock on the door and say to mrs. bell

敲贝尔的门跟贝尔夫人说

"hey mrs. bell. big fan of your husband.

"嘿贝尔夫人我是你老公的疯狂粉丝

Can I come in and watch him invent the telephone "

我能进来参观他发明电话吗?"

Mrs. bell was deaf.

贝尔夫人是个聋子

She's not even going to hear you knock.

她甚至不会听到你敲门

I have a solution.

我有个办法

First go into the future and obtain a cloaking device.

首先去到未来弄一个隐身装置

Ooh how far into the future

多远的未来?

If I remember correctly

如果我没记错的话

Captain kirk will steal a cloaking device

柯克舰长会在星际纪年5027.3

From the romulans on stardate 5027.3

从罗姆兰偷走一个隐身装置(出自"星际迷航"系列)

Which would be january 10 2328 by pre federation reckoning.

之后被'先锋联盟舰队'于2328年1月10日所截获

Okay I am setting the dials for january 10 2328.

好吧那我把时间设到2328年1月10日

Here we go into the future.

向未来出发

That was fun.

真有意思

My turn

轮到我了

Okay first of all

首先

What you call a gap was nearly three feet wide.

那段你声称仅三英尺宽的距离

I slipped and skinned my knee. are you okay

-让我滑倒摔伤了我的膝盖 -你还好吧?

Second of all the door to the stairwell

其次那扇通往旁边那幢楼的

Of the other building was locked

楼梯井门是锁着的

So I had to go down the fire escape

所以我不得不从防火梯下楼

Which ends on the third floor

可那只是到三楼的

Forcing me to crawl through the window

逼我只能从一个"可爱"的亚美尼亚家庭

Of a lovely armenian family

的窗户爬了进去

Who insisted I stay for lunch.

他们还强留了我吃午饭

That doesn't sound too bad.

听起来还不坏嘛

It was eight courses of lamb

那是整整八斤羔羊肉

And they tried to fix me up with their son.

他们还试图撮合我和他们的儿子

I'm sorry. not done.

-对不起 -还没完呢

By the time I finally

等我终于好不容易

Got to work they'd given my shift away.

赶到那里上班他们已经把我的班给换了

Yeah that's right.

是啊没错

I lost an entire day's pay thanks to this.

我损失了一整天的工资就因为这个

This... time machine.

-这个... -时间机器

The lights flash and the dish spins. you want to try it

灯会一闪一闪托盘还会转你想不想试试?

才不!

I don't want to try it

我才不想试试!

My god you are grown men

天哪你们都已经是成年人了!

How can you waste your lives with these

你们怎么能浪费生命

Stupid toys and costumes

整天弄这些蠢玩具和傻戏服

And comic books and... and now that

还有漫画书还有...那个?!

That... again. time machine.

-那个... -再次提醒时间机器

Oh please it's not a time machine.

拜托那才不是什么时间机器

If anything it looks like something

这顶多就是看上去像艾尔顿·约翰

Elton john would drive through the everglades.

驶过大沼泽地的代步工具

It only moves in time.

这个只能在时间上移动

It would be worse than useless in a swamp.

这个在沼泽地里会比无用更无用

Pathetic all of you

可悲! 你们这群人!

Completely pathetic

可悲到了极点!

My turn.

该我了

Leonard it's 2 00 in the morning.

里奥纳德现在可是凌晨2点

怎么了

So it's my turn.

该我了

Why did you set it for the day before yesterday

你为什么把时间设在前天?

Because I want to go back and keep myself

因为我想回到那天

From getting a time machine.

阻止自己买时间机器

You can't. if you were to prevent yourself

这做不到如果你想在过去

From buying it in the past

阻止自己买时间机器

You would not have it available in the present

你就不可能现在拥有一台时间机器

To travel back and stop yourself

然后利用它回到过去

From buying it. ergo you would still have it.

阻止自己买它所以你仍然会拥有它

This is a classic rookie time travel mistake.

这是典型的时间旅行低级错误

Can I go back and prevent you from explaining that to me

我可以回到过去让你闭嘴吗?

Same paradox.

同样的低级错误

If you were to travel back in time

如果你想回到过去

And say knock me unconscious

比如说把我打晕

You would not then have the conversation

那就不会有现在的对话

That irritated you motivating you

来把你激怒让你想回到过去

To go back and knock me unconscious.

并且把我打晕

What if I knocked you unconscious right now

如果我现在想把你打晕呢?

It won't change the past.

那也改变不了过去

But it'd make the present so much nicer.

不过会让我现在好受很多

Are you upset about something

你有什么事心烦吗

What was your first clue

你从哪看出来的

Well it was a number of things.

有很多地方

First the late hour.

首先你睡得很晚

Then your demeanor seems very low energy

其次你的言行似乎没有活力

Plus your irritability.

再加上你很易怒

Yes I'm upset

是的我很心烦!

I don't usually pick up on those things.

我一般可不大了解这些的

Good for me.

我不赖啊

Yeah good for you.

是啊你不赖

Oh wait.

等等

Did you want to talk about what's bothering you

你想聊聊为什么事心烦吗?

I don't know. maybe.

不知道可以吧

Wow. I'm on fire tonight.

哇我今晚真是太强了

Uh... here's the thing.

...是这样

Girls like penny never end up with guys who own time machines.

像潘妮这样的女孩是不会和玩时间机器的人在一起的

I disagree.

我不同意

Your inability to successfully woo penny

你追求潘妮失败的经历

Long predates your acquisition of the time machine.

是要远远早于得到时间机器的日期的

That failure clearly stands on its own.

这个失败是显而易见的

Thanks for pointing it out.

多谢指出

In addition your premise is flawed.

此外你的前提是有瑕疵的

In the original film rod taylor got yvette mimieux

在原版电影中罗德·泰勒就是用时间机器

With that very time machine.

得到了伊薇特·米米亚克斯(电影女主角)

In back to the future marty mcfly got the opportunity

回到未来马帝·麦克佛莱得到了机会

To hook up with his extremely attractive young mother.

和他魅力十足的年轻妈妈鬼混

Those are movies.

那些都是电影

Of course they're movies.

当然都是电影

Were you expecting me to come up with an example

你难道指望我举出个现实版

Involving a real life time machine

时间机器的例子吗?

That's absurd.

荒谬

Come on guys push

加油啊伙计们用力推!

If I push any harder

如果我再用力

I'm going to give birth to my colon.

就快把结肠给"分娩"出来了

Oh hey guys.

好各位

Oh. hi penny.

你好潘妮

Take a break guys

休息一会吧

What are you doing

你们在干什么

Oh you know just moving a time machine.

你知道就是搬搬时间机器

Yeah. okay neat but I really gotta get to work so...

好的不错但我要赶去工作了所以...

No problem.

没问题

Hang on.

坚持一下

But... what about your time machine

但是...你的时间机器怎么办

Some things are more important than toys.

有些事情比玩具更重要

I'm scared.

我好害怕

Don't worry baby. I've got you.

不要害怕宝贝有我在

Oh leonard.

哦里奥纳德

It's still my turn.

仍旧该我了

What are you doing

你干什么

I'm packing up all my collectibles

把我收集的所有东西打包

And taking them down to the comic book store to sell.

然后带下去卖给漫画书店

Was that really necessary

真的有必要吗

If you need money you can always sell blood.

如果需要钱你随时可以卖血啊

And semen.

还有精液

This is not about money.

这和钱无关

We brought food

我们带了吃的

Lox and bagels the breakfast of time travelers.

熏鲑鱼和硬面包圈时间旅人的早餐

Terrific.

棒极了

Does anyone want to buy my share of the time machine

有人想要买我时间机器里的股份吗

Why

怎么

I don't want it anymore.

我不想再要了

Why

为什么

Just... personal reasons.

...私人原因

My spidey sense tells me

我蜘蛛侠一般的嗅觉告诉我

This has something to do with penny.

这和潘妮有关

Look

听着

Do you want to buy me out or not I'll give you

-你们到底想不想要买股份? -我给你

A hundred dollars which will make me half owner

100美元这样我就是半个拥有者了

And we'll put it on my balcony.

然后我们把它放到我的阳台上去

Screw his balcony.

去你的阳台

I'll give you $120 and we'll put it in my garage.

我给你120美元我要放到我的车库

I paid $200 for my share.

我的股份当时是200美金

Dude everybody knows

小子大家都知道

A time machine loses half its value

时间机器会因为转让

The minute you drive it off the lot.

而贬低一半的价值

I'll go for $200.

我付200

That time machine stays right where it is.

让时间机器就呆在原地

$300 and I'll throw in

我付300

My original 1979 mattel millennium falcon

我要打造最初的1973年的星战飞船

With real light speed sound effects.

并使之兼具真正的光速和声效

No. no more toys or action figures

不不再要玩具和动作模型了

Or props or replicas or costumes or robots

也不要道具复制品戏服还有机器人

Or darth vader voice changers.

也不要达斯·维德的变声工具了

I'm getting rid of all of it.

我不想再要所有这些了

You can't do that.

你不能这么做

Look what you've created here.

看看你收集的这些吧

It's like nerdvana.

这就像是封闭的电脑狂人

More importantly

更重要的是

You have a darth vader voice changer

你有达斯·维德的变声工具?

Not for long.

不会再有了

Oh I call dibs on the golden age flash.

我有权要求那"Golden Age Flash"(一部漫画)

Hang on. I need that

等等我要靠它来

To complete my justice society of america collection.

集全"正义联盟"(一部漫画)

Too bad. I called dibs.

太遗憾了我有权要求了

You can't just call dibs. I can and I did.

-你不能这么有权要求的 -我既可以也叫了

Look up "dibs" in wikipedia.

去维基百科查查"有权要求"吧

Dibs doesn't apply in a bidding war.

在竞价战中是没有有权要求的

It's not a bidding war.

这不是竞价战

I'm selling it all to larry down at the comic book store.

我全部要卖给楼下漫画书店的拉里

Why larry did larry call dibs

为什么是拉里拉力有权要求了?

Will you forget dibs

你能不能别提有权要求了?!

He offered me a fair price

就这整套东西

For the whole collection.

他提了个合理的价钱

What's the number I'll match it.

多少? 我给同样价钱

I'll match it plus a thousand rupees.

我给同样价钱再加一千卢比

What's the exchange rate none of your business.

-汇率是多少 -不关你事

Take it or leave it

成还不成?

Mom my bar mitzvah bonds.

妈妈我的成年礼债券在吗

How much do I got

我有多少?

Thanks.

谢谢

I can go $2 600 and two trees in israel.

我可以出价2600美金加上以色列的两颗树

Forget it guys.

算了伙计们

If I sell to one of you

如果我卖给了你们其中一个

The other two are going to be really mad at me.

另外两个会对我大光其火的

Who cares

管他呢

As long as you pick me

只要你卖给我

Okay leonard put down the box.

好了里奥纳德把盒子放下

Let's talk. sorry raj.

-我们谈谈 -抱歉拉杰

My mind is made up.

我已经决定了

不!

I can't let you do this.

我一定得阻止你

Sheldon get out of my way.

谢尔顿你让开

None shall pass

没人可以过去!

Okay.

好吧

I did not want to do this but

我不想这样的

I have here the rare mint condition production error

可我手上拿的是完好无损的

Star Trek the next generation geordi la forge

星舰迷航里下一代不带视觉辅助器的

Without his visor in the original packaging.

乔迪拉弗吉的珍贵原版纪念品

If you do not get out of my way

如果你们继续挡我的路

I will open it.

我就把它拆封了

Okay man. be cool.

好伙计冷静

We're all friends here.

我们是自己人

What the hell's going on

你们在搞什么

You hypocrite

你个伪善者!

What

什么?

Little miss "grown ups don't play with toys."

"长大了不能玩玩具"小姐

If I were to go into that apartment right now

如果我现在进你那间屋子

Would I not find beanie babies

我会找不到豆豆娃?

Are you not an accumulator

难道你不收集

Of care bears and my little ponies

小熊公仔和维尼?

And who is that japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts

看看在你热裤上嬉戏的日本小猫又是什么

Hello hello kitty

你好 Hello Kitty!

Okay.

好

Okay look if this is about yesterday leonard

好听着如果是因为昨天的事里奥纳德

I am really sorry about what I said.

我为我昨天的话感到抱歉

I was just upset.

我只是有点心烦而已

No I needed to hear it.

不还是很中听的

No you didn't. look you are a great guy

不不是的真的你是个很好的人

And it is the things you love that make you who you are.

而这是你喜欢的东西这才是你的本色

I guess that makes me "large breasts."

我猜这就是"我的大波"

Still

但是

I think it's time for me to get rid of this stuff

我还是觉得是时候跟这些东西说再见了

And you know move on with my life.

然后开始新的生活

Really

真的?

Yeah.

是的

Well good for you.

不错

Thanks.

谢谢

Hey do you want to...

你想不想...

I don't know later...

也许过一会...

Excuse me.

不好意思

Hey penny. hi mike.

-潘妮 -麦克

You ready to go oh yeah. I just have to change.

-可以走了吗 -可以等我换换衣服

I'll give you a hand.

我来帮你一把

Oh stop it

别闹了

Bye guys.

再见

My turn on the time machine.

轮到我坐时间机器了

It worked.

成了

It really worked.

真的成了

They said I was mad but it worked

他们说我疯了但真的成了!

Oh no

不

Not morlocks

不要莫洛克!

Not flesh eating morlocks

不要吃人肉的莫洛克!

Help

救命!

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Are you okay

你没事吧

We have to get rid of the time machine.

我们得远离这台时间机器

It is a little big for the living room isn't it

放在客厅里是有点太大了是不是?

Yeah that's the problem.

是是这样

It's too big.

太大了

Glad you agree. I'm to help us move it.

很高兴你也这么觉得我叫了人来帮忙搬走

Come on in fellas.

进来吧伙计们

Oh no.

不

Morlocks

莫洛克!

Eat him. eat him.

吃他吃他

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