生活大爆炸-S05E07_生活大爆炸

S01

And reverse the spin on the antiproton...

然后让反质子的自旋反向

and γ becomes α...

γ变成了α

Multiplied by a matrix of i 0 ...

乘以矩阵(-i,0)

And there we have it.

有成果了

Conclusive proof that I am absolutely worthless after 9 o'clock.

证明我九点过后就是一条废柴的证据

Sheldon...

谢尔顿...

Sheldon...

谢尔顿...

All right all right.

好了好了

I see what's going on.

我看穿了你们的诡计

A little pre Halloween hijinkery.

万圣节前的装神弄鬼罢了

A ghostly moan

阴森的呜咽

a rattling of chains

铁链的响声

a witch's cackle.

女巫的奸笑

The trifecta of haunted house cliche.

老套的鬼屋三元素

Instead of "eek " I say "yawn."

普通人尖叫哥只想睡觉

Sheldon...

谢尔顿...

Oh the walls are dripping blood

滴血之墙

which looks nothing like a phenolphthalein indicator

看上去假得就像把碳酸钠溶液

碳酸钠溶液呈碱性遇酚酞变红

exposed to a sodium carbonate solution.

滴进了酚酞里一样

"See you in hell Sheldon."

"我们地狱里见谢尔顿"

The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.

这话最恐怖的地方是你忘了加逗号了

Okay all right.

好很好

That one was clever.

这招高

Skeleton with phosphorous on a zip line.

缆绳上挂着个含磷的骨架

Come on out merry pranksters.

现身吧快活的恶作剧者们[也是乐队名]

Take a bow.

该谢幕了

You should've seen your face.

你真该看看你刚才的表情

Yes there's nothing quite like the slightly widened eyes

有什么呀不过就是稍稍受到惊吓

of mildly startled.

然后瞳孔小小地放大了一点

Come on admit it.

你就承认吧谢尔顿

We got you Sheldon.

我们吓着你了

Please fright depends on an element of surprise.

拜托惊吓惊吓有惊才有吓

The simple fact is

而事实是

because I am much smarter than you

在能未卜先知的我面前

and able to anticipate your actions

你们两个臭皮匠的烂招只是笑话

it is highly unlikely that you two rubes

想吓到我诸葛亮

could ever surprise me.

门都没有

He's probably right.

他说的对吧

We can't beat him. He's just too smart.

我们吓不倒他他太聪明了

Gentlemen.

先生们

Who had money on "faints"

谁刚才赌他会晕倒来着

I had "pee his pants."

我赌的是尿裤子

Hang on.

等等

Looks like everyone's a winner.

看来我们都赌中了

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第七集

Oh. Watch out Sheldon.

当心了谢尔顿

This little boy Casper is a g g g ghost

这个《鬼马小精灵》可是个鬼-鬼-鬼-鬼啊

Droll.

可笑

Not as droll as a grown man

那也可笑不过一个成年人

passed out in a puddle of his own urine.

晕倒在自己的一滩尿上

That was pretty droll.

的确太可笑了

尿液中含氨

With a hint of ammonia.

笑声中还带着一丝氨气的芬芳

Yes enjoy your japes gentlemen.

接着沾沾自喜着吓人的胜果吧先生们

You think you've poked fun at a milquetoast academic.

觉得自己吓倒了一名胆小的大学学者

Well you've forgotten one thing

可你们忘了一件事

I am also a son of the Lone Star state.

我可是孤星州[德州别称]之子

I'm Texas through and through.

我可是彻头彻尾的德州人

And we know how to settle scores down there.

我们可会修理人了

If you doubt me ask Mexico.

不信就去问常被我们修理的墨西哥人

Hot girl nine o'clock.

辣妹出没九点钟方向

Don't everybody look at once

别同时抬头看人家

What is she doing in a comic book store

她来漫画书店做什么

I don't know she might be lost.

我不清楚估计是迷路了

Doesn't matter. Watch and learn.

无所谓了都学着点儿

Hi. Hi.

-你好啊 -你好

... it it it...

呃...呃...呃

Shut up.

都闭嘴

Are you getting this Next Men

你要买这期《Next Men》吗

Uh yeah. It's issue number 21.

是的这是第二十一期的那本

First appearance of Hellboy.

地狱男爵第一次登场的那期

I know. I've been looking for it for years.

我知道我找了它很多年

Sorry. Hey if I pretended to hit on you

-抱歉了 -要是我假装来泡你

could I distract you enough to sneak it away

我的美貌够不够让你分心好让我把书偷走

Yes but you'd be using your superpowers for evil.

够的但滥用超能美貌做坏事是不对的

Damn I'm forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so.

该死我在氪星的老爸禁止我用能力使坏

Kryptonian 超人家族所在星系

I'm Alice.

我叫爱丽丝

Leonard.

我叫莱纳德

You're very cute Leonard.

你真可爱莱纳德

Thanks. You too.

谢谢你也是

You know go ahead and take it.

这书你拿去吧

No no. No no I I did evil.

不不行这样我就做坏事了

Would you be open to a trade

你接受以物易物吗

Yeah yeah sure I guess.

可以没问题

Okay. Here.

好吧给

This is my number.

这是我的电话号码

Call me.

记得打给我

Sorry palm's a little sweaty.

抱歉手掌有点出汗

What's that word

那是个什么词儿呀

Alice. Oh right your name.

-爱丽丝 -对哦你的名字

That makes more sense than "Penis".

刚看成"爱鸡鸡"还纳闷呢

Later.

回见了

Did we just see you pick up a girl in a comic book store

我们亲眼目睹到你在漫画店成功把到妹吗

'Cause if you did you get your picture up there

如果是真的我要把你的肖像

on the Wall of Heroes.

挂在英雄榜上

No I don't think I picked her up.

没有吧应该没有把到她

Besides I have a girlfriend.

更何况我还有家室呢

Doesn't matter. This is the closest anyone's ever come.

无所谓你算是最成功的一个了

You're going on the wall my friend.

你入榜了伙计

Be sure to check the mail.

一定要开信箱

How many times are you gonna tell me

你还要提醒我几次呀

What's with you Nothing.

-你没事吧 -没事

It's not suspicious that I'm fixating.

我锲而不舍有什么奇怪的

It's consistent with my personality.

我个性向来坚持不懈

Right.

好吧

Hey guys.

伙计们

More Halloween candy

又买万圣节糖果了啊

Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday

你昨天不是刚买了一堆吗

Oh. Yeah. That's gone.

那堆啊吃完了

It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS

万圣节和大姨妈一起来

hit at the same time.

我是屋漏偏逢连夜雨呀

Leonard doesn't have time to chat

莱纳德没时间聊天

he has to get the mail.

他要去开信箱

Will you relax I'll get it in a minute.

你就不能消停会吗我马上就开

How was work Open the mail

-你工作怎么样了 -快开信箱

Excuse me.

等我一下

A couple of circulars nothing important.

几份广告而已没什么重要的东西

What's with him Hang on.

-他怎么了 -等着瞧

You might be from Texas but I'm from New Jersey.

你是德州人又怎样哥还是新泽西人呢

Check it out.

看这个

Jim Lee 美国韩裔漫画家

Jim Lee drew this of me two years ago at Comic Con.

两年前的动漫展上吉姆·李帮我画的

What are you wearing

你穿的是什么呀

Well you know it's Comic Con.

动漫展嘛你懂的

I'm Lion O from ThunderCats.

我是《霹雳猫》里的狮猫

Wow you must have gotten so laid.

哇肯定有不少女生对你"投怀送抱"吧

No. But Jessica Alba did rub my furry belly.

没有但洁西卡·阿尔芭有揉我毛毛的肚子

Want to see a comic I draw

要看看我画的漫画吗

You're kidding. You have your own book

开玩笑吧你自己有画漫画啊

Yeah. It's kinda based on my life.

是的灵感是来自我的生活

Cool.

厉害啊

Oh look. That's you having sex with a guy

看啊你和一个上身打扮成

楚巴卡星战人物浑身毛茸茸像猩猩

in the top half of a Chewbacca costume.

楚巴卡模样的人在嘿咻

Comic Con

在动漫展上吗

You'd think but no.

你以为是不过非也

You're very talented. This is really good.

你真有才画得真好

Did you do...

你是不是...

So can I trade you my comic for the Hellboy

我能用我的漫画换你的《地狱男爵》吗

You can have my car.

换我车子都行

Oh dear.

神啊

Oh dear...

我的老天爷啊

Oh dear oh dear oh dear...

妈啊妈啊妈啊

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

救命啊救命啊救命啊

Purell Purell Purell Purell.

洗手液洗手液洗手液洗手液

Good morning Sheldon.

早上好谢尔顿

It is isn't it

今早是好啊

Oh bother.

哎呀讨厌

Isn't that just always the way

每次都这样

You go to staple something and you're out of staples.

要用订书机才发现没钉书针了

史泰博: 美国著名办公用品品牌与订书针同字

Gosh I wish I'd known that earlier today

老天要是我早些在史泰博的时候

when I was at Staples.

知道就好了

You ever think of paper clips right there

那里有回形针啊

No no I need something more permanent to join these papers.

不我需要能把纸钉牢的东西

Say don't you keep staples in your top desk drawer

你不是把订书钉放在第一格抽屉的吗

I don't know. Maybe.

不知道也许吧

Be a lamb and check.

行行好看一下嘛

All right.

好吧

Who do we have here

是哪个小可爱躲在这呀

It's a snake. A terrifying snake.

是条蛇一条吓人的蛇

Oh did some bad man put us in a drawer

是不是哪个坏蛋把你丢到抽屉里啦

Stop talking like that.

别装可爱说话了

You've been rendered speechless by fear.

你应该被吓得说不出话来才对

Let's go to the biology lab

咱们去生物实验室

and find you some nice yummy mice.

给你搞点美味的小白鼠来吃吧

I tried to scare an Indian with a snake.

我居然想用蛇来吓唬印度佬

Come on Cooper. You're better than this.

加油啊库珀你就这么点能耐吗

It's open.

门没锁

Hey you got a minute

你现在有空吗

Yeah sure come on in.

当然进来吧

Thanks.

谢了

Want some mac and cheese

来点芝士通心粉吗

No. Lactose. Gas.

不了有乳糖吃了会放屁

Glass of wine No. Sulfites. Migraines.

-酒呢 -不了有亚硝酸盐喝了会头痛

Okay well I'd offer you Halloween candy

好吧我本来想给你吃万圣节糖果

but that's gone.

不过都吃完了

So what's up

怎么了

Okay we used to go out right

好吧我们以前不是约过会吗

Oh my God that's where I know you from.

老天总算想起来你是谁了

I'm dealing with a situation

我碰到了点难题

and it's kind of about my love life

是跟感情有关的

so I know that might be weird for us to talk about

我知道咱俩谈这个可能有点尴尬

but in this area as you know

但在这方面你也知道

all my other friends are just so stupid.

我其他的朋友实在是蠢得可以

All right what's going on

好吧怎么回事

So you're okay talking about this

这么不介意我跟你谈吗

Yes. You're sure it's not weird.

-当然 -你不会觉得尴尬吧

It's okay.

真的不会

You know what if you ever want to talk to me

好吧如果有天你想和我谈

about a problem in your life with a guy

你跟男人的感情问题

then I would be fine with that.

我也愿意听

Okay good because there's this one guy I used to date

那好现在就有个我以前好过的小子

who's about to be force fed wine and cheese

他要是再这样拐弯抹角

if he doesn't get to the point.

我就要灌他吃红酒和芝士

Okay

好吧

here it is.

是这样的

Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend...

这样算不算偷腥如果一个男的有女朋友

Yeah probably.

应该算的

Come on.

别这样嘛

I'm sorry go ahead.

对不起你说

I met this girl and she's great.

我新认识一个女孩子她人很好

we have a lot in common.

跟我有很多共同话题

Did you guys do it

那你们搞了吗

No. We just made out a little.

没有只是亲热了一下下

Oh look at you you bad boy.

哎呦瞧你个小坏蛋

Did you tell her about Priya

你跟她提过普丽娅吗

Well I was gonna but there were too many tongues in my mouth.

我也想提可她的舌头在我嘴里呢

That's gross.

真恶心

Here's the thing

现在的情况是

I I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around

我不是那种四处偷腥

and sleeps with more than one woman.

拈花惹草的男人

Well good for you.

好孩子

The problem is I want to be one of those guys.

可问题是我想成为那种男人

So sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya.

那就瞒着普丽娅把那女的睡了

Oh that's not who I am.

我不是那种人

All right then break it off with the new girl.

那好那就跟那女的一刀两断

Now let's not do anything rash.

也别草率行事

She's really hot.

她真的很正点

If you like this girl so much

既然你这么喜欢这个女孩子

why don't you just end things with Priya

那干嘛不跟普利娅分手

Priya and I are in love.

普丽娅和我深爱对方

I think we could get married someday.

我们以后说不定会结婚呢

Leonard you're looking for a way to sleep with both women

莱纳德你是想找个两全其美的办法

and have everybody be happy about it.

好让你左拥右抱

Now we're getting somewhere.

终于说到点上了

What does your gut tell you

你的第一直觉是什么

"Go ask Penny she'll know what to do."

"去问佩妮她知道该怎么做"

Hello Howard.

你好霍华德

I've realized that you scaring me was all in jest.

我知道你们吓我是闹着玩的

Allow me to say job well done.

请容许我说吓得很成功

Perfect.

完美

What are you doing

你在干嘛呢

Science. You wouldn't understand.

搞科研呢你不会懂的

Hey well see you. I'm going out.

那好再见我出门了

I thought you were leaving the apartment.

我以为你是要出门呢

Yeah me too. I can't make up my mind.

我也以为可我下不了决心

Are you concerned because the world is filled

你是不是担心外面的世界

with big dogs and bullies

充满着疯狗和坏蛋

No. I'm having a moral crisis.

不是我正面临道德上的难题

Well if it's of any help

如果需要帮忙的话

I've read all the great moral philosophers

我读过各种伦理学家的著作

美国著名作家及漫画家以儿童书出名

including Dr. Seuss.

包括苏斯博士的书哦

Oh what the hell.

死马当活马医吧

I'm supposed to go see that girl

我本来要去见

from the comic book store Alice

在漫画书店认识的那个女孩子爱丽丝

but I don't know if I should

可我不知道该不该去

because I'm going out with Priya

因为我现在跟普利娅在一起

but she's in India.

可她人又远在印度

All right. So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity.

好吧这么说现在的主题是性忠贞

Probably won't be relying on Seuss here.

苏斯博士在这方面估计靠不住

苏斯博士1960年著作

Although One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

不过《一条鱼两条鱼红色的鱼蓝色的鱼》

might be surprisingly applicable.

倒可能惊人的适用

Go on.

继续

Well...

那个

they say at the end of your life

别人都说人到了暮年

you regret the stuff you didn't do

比起自己做过的事

more than the stuff that you did

会更后悔没有做过一些事

and I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.

而我非常确定我很想跟爱丽丝"做"

You know the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche

德国哲学家弗里德里希·尼采

believed that morality is just a fiction

相信道德只是低等人群体

used by the herd of inferior human beings

用来阻碍少数高等人的

to hold back the few superior men.

虚构事物

That actually does help.

死马还真给医活了

It's worth noting that he died of syphilis.

值得一提的是他后来死于梅毒

Screw it I'm going. On your way home

-管他呢我去也 -你回家的路上

will you pick up some orange juice Do you mind

-能不能买点橙汁回来 -拜托

I'm questioning a lot of things in my life right now.

我正在质疑我人生中很多的人事物呢

Is one of those things your fondness for orange juice

你喜欢橙汁也需要质疑吗

No. Great. Tropicana no pulp.

-不用 -那就对了纯果乐要没果肉的

Hey Sheldon.

嗨谢尔顿

Who is it

谁啊

It's me Sheldon Mrs. Wolowitz.

沃罗威茨太太是我谢尔顿

That's not my mom it's Bernadette.

那不是我妈是伯纳黛特

Really That's very unsettling.

真的吗真分不出来

Hi Sheldon.

嗨谢尔顿

Hi. What's up

-嗨 -有事吗

It just occurred to me that I never formally congratulated you

我刚想到我一直都还没正式恭祝过

on your pending nuptials.

你们即将到来的婚事

So I hopped on

于是我跳上首班车

the first bus and hightailed it down here to shake your hand.

一路狂奔过来跟你握手道贺

Put 'er there you old so and so.

快把手伸过来你这家伙

Well I I'm gonna see you at work in...12 hours

再过12小时咱俩就一起上班了

don't you think it could have waited until then

你怎么不等上班了再跟我握手呢

Holy smoke why didn't I think of that

我的老天我怎么就没想到呢

You're a better man than I Howard Wolowitz.

你果然比我聪明霍华德·沃罗威茨

You put 'er there you son of a gun

快把手伸出来你个小聪明

Whatever.

那随你吧

My...oh...

天啊

it's...

我

Oh my God Howard

天啊霍华德

What did you do

你对他做了什么

It was a harmless Halloween prank. Look.

只是个无恶意的万圣节恶作剧而已看

Howard has a heart condition You know that

霍华德有心脏病你又不是不知道

Well I thought he made that up.

我还以为他那是瞎编的呢

I Isn't hypochondria

犹太人不是常有

a common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people

疑病症的问题吗

This is adrenaline

这是肾上腺素

we're gonna have to inject it into his heart.

我们得把这个注射到他的心脏里

We are You are.

-我们得做吗 -是你做

I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate

我可没那么大劲扎穿他的胸腔

and we've only got one shot.

而且机会只有一次

Oh no I can't

不我做不来

Hurry

快点

We're running out of time

咱们时间不多了

Okay. Just do it

-好吧 -快扎呀

Oh God

上帝啊

One...two...

一二

three

三

Trick or treat bubbeleh.

不给糖就捣蛋笨蛋

What

什么

No. You mean this was all a ruse

不是吧你们居然设局耍我

Oh how could I be so stu...

我怎么会笨成这...

Damn it I can't.

该死的不行

I can't do this.

我不能这样

Uh is it my tongue stud

是因为我的舌环吗

'Cause if that freaks you out

要是有穿舌环就会吓到你

you're in for a real surprise later on.

那待会儿你会更大吃一惊哦

No no no.

不不是

I I can't do this.

是我不能跟你这样

Believe me I really want to.

相信我我真的很想

But... But I kind of have a girlfriend.

-但是呢 -但是我有女朋友了

Are you kidding

你开什么玩笑

You're cool with you and me just being friends right

你不介意咱俩只做朋友吧

I don't believe this.

我真不敢相信

Wait I don't... Which part

等等我...你不相信哪部分

I'm so stupid.

我真是笨到家了

I thought for once I'd met a good guy

我还以为我终于遇上了个好人呢

but you're just another jackass.

结果你也只不过又是一个混蛋而已

Oh no no you have it wrong.

不不你误会了

No. I I was going to be a jackass

不我本来是要当个混蛋

but I stopped myself.

但是我克制住了

I stayed a good guy so...

我决定做个好人所以

I'm gonna pass on the sex.

我还是不跟你滚床单了

But you should know that's not a comment on your hotness

但是你要知道这并不代表你不够辣

but on my goodness.

这只是说明我品德高尚

That's kind of my superpower.

这也算是我的超能力了吧

I'm like Captain Good Guy.

我就像是好人队长

It's okay.

没啥了不起的

Did the right thing.

做了对的选择

You idiot

我悔得肠子都青了

Hey Priya.

普丽娅

Hey sweetheart. How's it going

亲爱的一切都好吗

Uh not so good.

不怎么样

We have to talk.

咱俩得谈谈

Oh sounds serious. What's up

好像很严重的样子啊怎么了

Okay uh...here it is.

好吧事情是这样的

I met this girl and I kissed her

我认识了一个女生我们接吻了

and I feel terrible about it.

我觉得很内疚

But it's done it's never gonna happen again.

但都结束了绝无下次

And I am so so sorry.

我真的非常非常抱歉

Leonard relax.

莱纳德别紧张

It's okay.

没事的

It is

真的吗

Yeah these things happen.

是啊这种事情很正常

They happen to everybody.

人之常情嘛

Oh my God you are amazing.

天啊你真是太好了

I mean I don't deserve you.

我怎么这么命好呀

Wh what do you mean "everybody"

等等会你说"人之常情"是什么意思

Leonard I didn't know if I should tell you

莱纳德我不知道该不该说

but I kind of cheated on you too.

不过我好像也背叛你了

Kind of

什么叫好像

A couple of weeks ago

几周前

I slept with my ex boyfriend.

我跟我前男友上床了

So I guess we both messed up a little.

所以说我们俩都犯了点小错误

No no I messed up a little. You messed up a lot.

不我是犯了点小错你可是犯了大错

Well it's not a competition.

咱这又不是在比赛

Oh...yeah it is and you won.

就是比赛而且你赢了

I I I'm sorry I have to go.

对对不起我要下线了

I don't believe this.

老天爷你玩我啊

Bazinga punk. Now we're even.

吓到了吧小混蛋现在我们扯平了

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