生活大爆炸-S07E19_生活大爆炸

S01

Boy do I have to urinate.

天啊我超想尿尿

If only there were a solution to that.

要是有办法解决就好了

Seriously.

真的

I feel like I've got a fish tank in my pelvis.

我感觉骨盆那里好像有个鱼缸

So go to the bathroom.

那就去上厕所啊

I can't.

不行

Why not

为什么

Because I'm trying to decide

因为人家正在做决定

between getting an Xbox One or a PS4.

是买Xbox One呢还是买PS4呢

Oh "Pee." Why'd I say that

"P"与尿尿同音说出来更想尿尿了

Forgive me for asking a stupid question

原谅我要问一个白痴的问题

but why are you being stupid

但你为什么在耍白痴啊

I'm not being stupid.

我才不是耍白痴

I'm employing the work of Dutch researcher Mirjam Tuk

我采用的是荷兰研究员米莉亚·塔克的研究

who found that people with full bladders

她发现人们在憋尿的时候

make better decisions.

能做出更好的决策

Why did I pee before I decided to move in here

我当初决定搬进来之前真不应该去尿尿

Oh how'd the audition go

试镜怎么样

I killed it.

惊艳四座

I was even able to cry real tears right on the spot.

我甚至在该哭的时刻真掉了眼泪

Oh that's great. I know.

-太好了 -就是

Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket

等下次我超速被警察拦下来罚款时

here come the waterworks.

我的"水龙头"就会哗哗流

Here come the waterworks

我的"水龙头"也要哗哗流了

Aren't you gonna ask

你不问为什么吗

What is this my first day

我第一天搬来这吗

生

活

大

爆

炸

第七季第十九集

Can I get your opinion on something that happened at work today

今天公司有件事我能问下你们的意见吗

Of course. Yeah sure.

-当然可以 -没问题

Okay well I did something

我做了一件事

that will either make me look like a lovable goof

可能会让我看起来像一个可爱的呆瓜

or a horrible monster damned to spend eternity in hell.

或一个该永生被罚下地狱的禽兽

I'm sure it's lovable.

肯定是可爱的呆瓜

I'm gonna go with monster. What do you got

我觉得会是禽兽说吧发生什么了

Well there's this lady in our office who's retiring

我们办公室有位女士要退休了

and they were passing around one of those big cards

同事们都把自己的祝语

for us to sign... Okay.

-写在一张大卡片里 -我懂

But no one told me she was in

但没人告诉我

a horrible car accident over the weekend

她周末出了严重的车祸

and what I was signing was not a retirement card

我当时签的不是一张退休贺卡

but was actually a "get well" card.

而是一张"慰问"卡

I'm liking my odds here.

我觉得我选对了

So on the card in the hospital

所以写在卡片上的话其实是给

next to the woman who's clinging to life are the words

一个好不容易活下来至今仍未出院的女人看

"Hey Vivian. You deserve this""

"薇薇安这都是你应得[活该]的"

"And at least with you gone

"至少你"走"了以后

no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge."

没有人会偷吃我冰箱里的酸奶"

太坏了

"LOL. Smiley face." Oh my gosh.

-"滚地笑笑脸" -我听不下去了

"P.S. Good luck wherever you wind up."

"附注希望你一路走好"

Why didn't I put money on this

我一开始就该下重注赌钱

Hey that's my agent. If I got the part

是我经纪人如果我得到那个角色

it's still the second best thing I've heard all day.

那也只能屈居"今日最棒"排行榜的第二位

Hello

喂

Am I a terrible person

我是不是很坏呀

No. No it was a mistake.

不那只是误会而已

Am I a terrible person that it crossed my mind

我当时有想过如果她挂掉

that she might die and never see the card

就不会看见那张卡片了那这样坏不坏

Now I think you're flirting with the line.

现在我觉得你在挑战道德底线了

Good news

是好消息吗

No I didn't get it.

不我落选了

I'm so sorry.

真可惜

You'll get offered something soon. I kind of did.

-很快会有新角色找你的 -好像是

The part in that awful horror movie I passed on

我之前拒演的那个垃圾恐怖片

came back around.

现在又回来找我了

Apparently it's mine if I want it.

显然如果我愿意那角色还是我的

Are you gonna take it

那你会接吗

I don't know what to do.

我不知道该怎么办

Maybe you'll get hit by a car and die.

可能哪天被车撞死就不用烦了

LOL right

滚地笑对吧

Emily right

你是艾米丽吧

Yeah...

是的

I I don't know if you remember me...

我不知道你是否还记得我

From the dating Web site.

交友网站上的那个

Your friend e mailed me because you were afraid to

你因为不敢联系我所以让你朋友代劳

then you tracked me down and acted like a lunatic

而现在却像个疯子一样跟踪我

Yes Rajesh Koothrappali.

没错我是拉杰什·库萨帕里

我只是

I wanted to say I'm sorry.

我想跟你道个歉

Okay You were like

可以吗你大概是

the coolest person I ever found online

我在网上遇到的最酷的人

and I got really nervous

我当时真的好紧张

and I I just blew it.

于是就搞砸了

Uh don't worry about it.

都已经过去了

And if it makes you feel any better

如果能让你好过点

you're not the weirdest guy I've met off the Internet.

你还不是我在网上遇到的最奇怪的人

Well give me a chance you don't even know me.

给我个机会试试你还不知道我的真本事呢

All right

好吧

here's your chance.

现在就给你机会

Wha... Really

什么真的吗

Thank you.

谢谢

Fate has given me a rare second chance

命运给了我难得的第二次机会

and I swear to Vishnu I'm not gonna blow it.

我对毗湿奴[印度神]发誓这次我绝不搞砸

Or normal words followed by a charming smile.

或是给你一个迷人的微笑说两句正常的话

So first there was PlayStation aka PS1

最先上市的游戏机也就是PS1

then PS2 PS3 and now PS4.

然后是PS2 PS3 现在出到PS4了

And that makes sense.

这很符合常理

You'd think after Xbox there'd be Xbox 2.

你就会认为在Xbox之后会有Xbox2

But no next came Xbox 360.

结果不是下一代叫Xbox360

And now after 360 comes Xbox One.

而在360之后现在出的版本叫Xbox One

Why "One"

为什么要叫"One[一]"

Maybe that's how many seconds of thought they put into naming it.

可能他们想名字的时候只花了"一"秒的时间吧

Can you get the butter please

能帮我拿下黄油吗

You know however with the Xbox One

但是用Xbox One

I can control my entire entertainment system

我可以通过语音指令控制

using voice commands.

我整个娱乐系统

Up until now I've had to use Leonard.

而到目前为止我都是用莱纳德

Then get the other one. Pass the butter.

那就买另外一个好了把黄油递给我

Get... Hang on.

买另外...等一下

I don't feel like you're taking this dilemma seriously.

我觉得你没把我这难题当一回事

Fine Sheldon.

行谢尔顿

You have my undivided attention.

我现在专心听你说

Okay now the PS4 is

好 PS4的外形

more angular and sleek looking.

有棱有角霸气犀利

No way. Yeah well it's true.

-这么帅 -是真的

But the larger size of the Xbox One

但Xbox One体型更大

may keep it from overheating.

能帮助它免除过热的问题

Well you wouldn't want your gaming system to overheat.

谁会想要自己的游戏机过热啊

No see Well you absolutely would not.

不想当然不想啦

And furthermore the Xbox One

而且现在Xbox One

now comes with a Kinect included.

随机附送体感控制器呢

Included Yes

-随机附送吗 -是啊

Not sold separately.

不用额外买了

Although...the PS4

可是 PS4主机

uses cool new GDDR5 RAM

用的是新款GDDR5内存

while the Xbox One is still using the conventional DDR3 memory.

而Xbox One还在用旧款的DDR3内存

Why would they still be using DDR3

他们为啥还用DDR3内存啊

Are they nuts

他们脑子坏了吗

See That's what I thought.

就是啊我也是这么想的

But then they go and throw in an eSRAM buffer.

但他们还加了嵌入式静态存储器

Whoa whoa. Wait a second.

等等先停一下

Who's "they" Xbox.

-"他们"是指谁 -Xbox啊

You're kidding No I am not

-你在开玩笑啊 -我真的不是

And this eSRAM buffer should totally bridge

而这个嵌入式静态存储器应该能够

the 100 gigabit per second bandwidth gap

弥补两家用的两种内存之间

between the two RAM types.

每秒100G比特的带宽差距啊

This is a nightmare. How will you ever make a decision

太残忍了这让你怎么下决定啊

You see I don't know

所以我才一直举棋不定啊

What should I do

我到底该怎么做

Please pass the butter

快给老娘黄油

Okay it's not me right This script is terrible.

不是我的问题是这剧本烂爆了

Yeah.

是啊

I had higher hopes for a movie called

我内心对一部名叫

Serial Ape ist 2 Monkey See Monkey Kill.

《杀人恶猿2 猴见猴杀》的电影期望可"高"了

You know it's still possible

电影虽烂

for you to be good in a bad movie.

但你还是有机会能在里面大放异彩啊

Okay.

好吧

"Sometimes I feel like I can control

"有时候我觉得我已经能控制

the killer gorilla instinct inside of me

我心中杀人恶猿的凶性

but then I see these bananas and I...

但我看到这些香蕉以后我就...

just want to eat them and then kill people."

超级想大快朵颐然后大开杀戒"

What am I gonna do

我到底该怎么做啊

Well for starters I wouldn't eat the bananas.

首先呢你不该吃那些香蕉

No...Come on

不是啦别闹

This is serious.

人家很认真呢

Does it at least pay well

那这部戏的酬劳高吗

Less than I was making at The Cheesecake Factory.

比我在起司工厂打工的钱还少

What does your agent think

你的经纪人怎么看

She's thinking of taking a job at The Cheesecake Factory.

她在考虑去起司工厂应征

You know what why don't you just do it

这样吧你就直接去演吧

You'll go have fun for a few weeks make some money

你能去玩个几周赚点小钱

and who knows what it might lead to

谁知道这会为你带来什么机遇呢

Okay look here page 58.

好了你看第58页

I oil wrestle an orangutan in a bikini.

我跟红毛猩猩在油中摔跤穿着比基尼哦

Just to clarify which one of you is wearing the bikini

我就确定一下是你还是它穿比基尼

Both of us.

两人都穿

So it's a family film.

这电影适合合家观赏啊

Thank you again for dinner.

谢谢你今天的晚餐

You're welcome.

不客气

Good night.

晚安

Uh it's date night.

今晚是约会之夜

Aren't you uh forgetting something

你是不是忘了什么事了

Oh of course.

懂了

Did I mention the PS4 controllers light up

我有告诉你PS4的手把会发光吗

No.

没有

Well they do.

它们真会发光哦

And then after coffee we went for a walk

喝完咖啡之后我们俩去散步了一会

and she told me she always thought people from India

她跟我说她一直觉得印度人

were exotic and mysterious.

很神秘又有异国风情

So with my mouth I said

虽然我嘴上说

"we're just like anybody else "

"我们跟其他人都差不多啦"

but with my eyes I said

但其实我的眼神在说

"Straight up Red hop on my flying carpet."

"上来吧红发妞跳上我的魔法飞毯"

So you gonna see her again

你们还会约会吗

Yeah we have plans this weekend.

会啊这周末我们就有安排

And if it's a clear night

而如果那晚能看到星星

I'm gonna lay some romantic astronomy on her.

我会对她使使出浪漫天文泡妞招

Okay like what Show me.

是吗使给本宫看看

I can't do that to Leonard.

我不能做对不起莱纳德的事

This is some powerful panty dropping stuff.

我这招数一出女人小裤裤必定落地

You have my blessing. Go for it.

朕批准了你尽管出招

Okay.

好吧

Penny

佩妮

two of the brightest stars in the night sky

夜空中那两颗最明亮的星星

are Altair and Vega.

是牛郎星与织女星

And it is said they were deeply in love

传说中他们俩深爱着对方

but forever separated

但却被永远地

by the celestial river of the Milky Way.

分隔在银河系的天河两侧

Oh that's sad. It is.

-好可怜 -是啊

But once a year

但每年都会有一天

on the seventh day of the seventh month

在每年第七个月第七天的晚上

Vega cries so hard

织女会哭得十分惨

that all the magpies in the world fly up

这时世界上所有的喜鹊都会飞到天上

and create a bridge with their wings

用它们的翅膀搭一座鹊桥

so the two lovers can be together

让这一对恋人能有机会相聚

for a single night

虽然这激情团聚

of passion.

只有仅仅一夜

Okay that's enough.

好了够了

Quick poll PS4 or Xbox One

快速投票买PS4或Xbox One

Raj.

拉杰

Uh Xbox One. Penny.

-Xbox One -佩妮

Huh

啥

Leonard. PS4.

-莱纳德 -PS4

Wolowitz. Both great.

-霍洛维兹 -两个都不错

Bernadette. I like the Wii.

-博纳黛特 -我喜欢Wii

Thanks Grandma.

多谢了奶奶

Oh my Goodness. What's up

-我的天 -怎么了

I just got an e mail from my ex girlfriend Lucy.

我的前女友露西给我发了一封邮件

She... misses me and wants to get together.

她说...她很想我希望和我聚一聚

Two women at the same time

哇一男驭二女

Nice job playa

厉害哦小淫棍

Really

真得这么说话吗

Was it the "two women" thing or the "playa"

是"驭二女"还是"小淫棍"的问题

It was the "Playa".

看来是小淫棍

What am I supposed to do

我该怎么办

How am I supposed to choose between Emily and Lucy

我该如何在艾米丽和露西之间抉择

Why do you have to choose Date both of them.

何必费神去选两个一起约嘛

I can't date two women at once.

我可不会同时和两个女生谈恋爱

Zero women that's my sweet spot.

一个女人都不剩那才是我的长项

Unless you're sleeping with one of them

只要你没和她们上床

seeing other people isn't a big deal.

跟其他人约会就没什么关系

But what if one of them asks me

可要是其中一人问起

what I was up to the night before

昨天晚上干了什么

and I was with the other one

而我恰好是和另一个人约会去了

Then what do I lie

那我该怎么办骗她吗

Yes. Yes.

-没错 -当然

What do you mean yes

你说"没错"是什么意思

What do you mean yes

你的"当然"又是什么意思

Were you seeing other women when we started dating

我们约会时你也和其他女人约会吗

No. Were you seeing other men

我没有你有跟其他男人约会吗

No.

我也没有

Were you seeing other men

你有跟其他男人约会吗

No.

没有

Aren't you gonna ask me

你怎么不问我

Come on really

拜托有必要问吗

Thank you so much for letting us pick your brain.

多谢你抽空向我们指教

Yeah happy to help.

没事举手之劳

So what's going on

你有什么问题

Well I'm having an impossible time

我的事业现在发展

getting my career off the ground

极其不顺

and I got offered a role in this crappy horror movie

正好有个超级烂片找我去演

and I just don't know if I should take it.

所以我不知道该不该接受这个角色

Well I have certainly taken some jobs that I've been embarrassed by.

我自己也接过一些让我觉得丢人的片子

I wouldn't exactly call Star Trek embarrassing.

《星际迷航》也算不上丢人吧

I wasn't.

我说的不是它

Me either.

我也没说它

So what do you think

所以你怎么看

is there a professional downside to doing it

做这件事有什么专业上的坏处吗

Well it's tricky.

这很难讲

You want to take projects that you're excited about

你当然希望选自己喜欢的工作来做

but sometimes you also have to pay the bills.

但有时你也不得不为五斗米折腰

When you're on the set working on something

当你在做片场演自己

that you just know in your heart is bad

心里觉得超烂的片子时

not Star Trek...

我不是指《星际迷航》

Yeah beam me up. I love it

把我传送上去[星际迷航台词] 我超爱这戏

Anyway those jobs can be soul crushing.

反正这些工作很可能会毁掉你的信心

That's what I'm afraid of.

我就是担心这个

Well I was in Stand By Me when I was a kid

我小时候出演过《与我同行》

and it was a huge success.

这片子当时可火爆了

The terrible movies I did came after that.

在这之后我演了不少烂片

I mean imagine how that feels.

想象一下我当时的感受

Sounds rough.

肯定很不堪

I'm telling you this business is brutal.

相信我演艺界很残酷

To this day I hate going on auditions.

直到今天我还是很讨厌去试镜

Okay I walk in and I can just

我一走进去就可以感受到

feel them thinking...

他们在想

"He was such a cute kid.

"这孩子以前多可爱

What happened to him "

时光真是把杀猪刀啊"

And then I don't get the job

结果我没能接到这个角色

and I can never find out why.

也永远不知道原因

Honestly I get so depressed

老实说我深受打击

there are entire weeks that I can't even get out of bed.

有时候好几周我连床都爬不起来

Okay this was helpful.

你的话对我们帮助太大了

Any news on your coworker who's in the hospital

你那位住院的同事最近如何啊

Poor thing she was in surgery for 18 hours.

她好可怜动了18个小时手术

She's alive but she's still in critical condition.

虽然活下来了但情况仍然危急

Oh no.

真不幸

The one bit of good news is they put her

唯一的好消息是她还没来得及看卡片

in a medically induced coma before she read the card.

就被医生用药物陷入昏迷状态了

So you know silver linings.

也算是不幸中的万幸吧

Were you like this when I married you

你和我结婚时就这个样子了吗

Don't worry about it buddy.

别担心了兄弟

Okay bye.

好的回见

That was Wil he's feeling a lot better.

是威尔他情绪恢复得好多了

Apparently he's 12 down

他的名字出现在

in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.

《电视指南》纵横字迷的第12行

Did he help you make a decision about the movie

他有帮你做出决定到底要不要接那部戏吗

No. Did you figure out

没那你想好

what you're gonna do about the two girls

要如何应对那两个女孩了吗

As a matter of fact I did.

老实说我想好了

I've spent so many years living in fear

这些年来我深陷恐惧之中

saying no to new experiences

不敢面对新的事物

but from now on

但从现在起

I'm gonna say yes

我要积极接受一切

yes to love yes to adventure yes to life

接受爱接受挑战拥抱生活

whatever it may be the answer's going to be yes.

不管什么事我都会勇敢地去接受

He's gonna die alone right

这家伙绝对孤独终老对吧

Yeah. Yes.

-没错 -绝对的

I'm proud of you Sheldon.

以你为荣谢尔顿

You know I'm proud of me too.

我也以自己为荣

I've done all my research

我做了全面的研究

I conducted an informal poll

发起了一个非正式的民意投票

and I've arrived at the rock solid certainty

所以我现在清楚明白地知道

I've made the right choice.

我做的选择是对的

Well that's got to be a good feeling.

你现在心情一定非常好

Oh it is.

的确如此

Although... Oh crap.

-可是... -我靠

I had the same feeling when I made my dad

当年我逼我爸不买录影带系统

而去买另一家产品时心情也是这样

You were just a little kid.

你还只是小孩而已

Yeah a little kid who picked the wrong format

对一个选错了格式

to record The MacNeil/Lehrer Report.

录"麦克尼尔和莱尔报导"的孩子

PBS台的新闻节目 83年便已改名

I also was certain

我还曾确信

that HD DVD would win out over Blu ray.

高清DVD会胜过蓝光呢

How old were you then

你那时候多大

Old enough to know better.

大到应该知道哪种更好

You know and now that I think about it

现在想想

I stood in front of a case of iPods

我曾经站在一箱子iPod前

and I bought a Zune.

我却买了Zune

What's a Zune

什么是Zune

Yeah exactly.

就是说啊

It's an MP3 player

是一款MP3播放器

brought to us by the makers of Xbox.

制造商正是生产Xbox的这家[微软]

What... no what are you doing

不你在做什么

No no pick that back up.

不快拿回来

You know it's good. You did the research.

你知道这个好你都做足研究了

But what if I'm wrong

但如果我错了呢

You know what

这样吧

How about I buy it for you

不如我买给你

How about

不如

I buy you both

我两个全买给你

You know I only have one slot available

你知道我的电视上

in my entertainment center.

只有一个槽可以用

Then I'll buy you a new entertainment center.

那我就给你买个新电视

Well yeah... okay sure.

想得到容易

But which one

但买哪个牌子好呢

How about this

这样吧

I've heard that if you flip a coin

我听说如果扔硬币

it will tell you how you actually feel.

可以告诉你你真正的想法

Because you'll either be disappointed

因为结果要么让你失望

or excited by the outcome.

要么令你激动

Interesting.

有意思

So heads it's PS4

正面是PS4

tails it's Xbox One.

背面是Xbox One

All right I'll try.

好吧我试试

What is it

是什么

A quarter.

一枚硬币

Could have given it back to me.

你也可以还给我

That was a choice.

这也是一种选择

You look...

你看起来

you look really pretty tonight.

你今晚看起来真漂亮

Thanks.

谢谢

I love that jacket.

你的外套也不错

Thank you. Thanks thanks.

谢谢谢谢

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

对不起我做不到

My... my ex girlfriend e mailed me

我的前女友给我发了电邮

and I'm seeing her Saturday...

我周六会和她见面

And I'm glad you like it it's from J. Crew.

我很高兴你觉得我外套好看是克鲁牌的

I don't understand.

我不明白

My friends told me it was okay

我的朋友们告诉我

to see more than one person at a time

同时和多个人约会没问题

but it it feels like I'm being deceitful.

但我感觉我在欺骗你

Are you getting back together with her

你会和她复合吗

No.

不

I I... I have no idea.

我不知道

What would you do

如果是你会怎么做

Uh usually on first dates I talk about music and stuff

通常第一次约会我会谈谈音乐什么的

but I was promised weird so let's do this.

但既然说好了你是怪人就谈这个吧

How serious were you two

你们之前有多认真

Well to be honest

说实话

we only went on four dates

我们只约会过四次

hugged twice kissed once

拥抱过两次吻过一次

and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo.

还有一个充满了性暗示的握手

Wait so...

慢着

a girl you never slept with sent you an e mail

一个你从没"睡"过的女生发了电邮给你

and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me

让你内疚到你觉得必须告诉我吗

Yeah.

是的

That's kind of adorable.

挺可爱的

Are you... are you sure

你说真的吗

Because this is the part of the night

因为一般约会到了这个环节

where I've said something stupid and the girl usually leaves.

都是我说了傻话女生就直接走了

I'm still here.

我还没走啊

Yeah but now you make me wonder what's wrong with you.

但现在你让我怀疑你到底有什么毛病

We just met.

我们刚认识

You don't need to tell me about other people you're seeing.

你不必告诉我你约会的其他人

Really

真的吗

Because "I'm dating two women"

因为"我同时和两个女生约会"

is basically the only cool thing I can say about myself.

基本上是我唯一可吹嘘的潮男事迹

On the one hand the Xbox One has a better camera...

一方面 Xbox One的摄像头更好

but the PS4 has a removable hard drive.

但PS4可随意换硬盘

Thoughts

有何想法

I can't feel my legs.

我的腿麻了

Oh... I'm sorry guys

不好意思两位

but the store closed five minutes ago.

商店五分钟前就关门了

But I haven't decided yet.

但我还没决定好买哪个

You'll have to come back tomorrow.

那你就明天再来买

The registers are closed.

收银机已经关了

Let's get you some food.

咱们去吃点东西吧

Y You'll feel better after you eat.

吃了东西后你就会感觉好些

Okay.

好的

What what do you want like Thai food

你想吃什么泰国菜

A... A burger

还是汉堡

I don't know

人家不知道嘛

Hey look a quarter

看一枚硬币

How's that feel

感觉如何

Great.

非常好

Not like regret at all.

完全"不后悔"

Penny

佩妮

We're working together

我们是同事了

Awesome

太棒了

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