生活大爆炸-S04E16_生活大爆炸

S01

Previously on The Big Bang Theory

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

Guess who I found at LAX. My baby sister Priya.

猜我在洛杉矶机场发现谁了我的妹妹普丽娅

It's really nice to see you again Leonard.

真高兴再次见到你莱纳德

Yeah it's good to see you too.

恩我也很高兴见到你

Here you go.

到了

Thanks.

谢谢

You slept with my sister Yeah.

-你上了我妹妹 -对

This is a terrible betrayal of my trust

这是对我信任莫大的背叛

Would it help if I told you

要是我告诉你

that I offered her my heart

我向她献出真心

and she kinda stomped on it

却被她狠狠践踏你会好受点么

How hard did she stomp

她践踏得多狠

Very hard.

相当狠

Okay I'm good.

好吧好受多了

What's so funny

什么事那么好笑

Nothing. Just thinking

没什么只是在想

about the noises people make during sex.

人做爱时发出的声音

I do sometimes get a bit carried away don't I

我有时确实有点不能自已是吧

It's cute.

很可爱

You sound a little like a drunken monkey.

听起来像只喝醉的猴子

You know it's meant as a compliment.

你懂的那其实是对你的赞美

That's how I take it.

我也是这么理解的

This is perfect.

太完美了

I hope this moment never ends.

真希望这一刻永远停留

Me too.

我也是

Well gotta go. Oh

噢该走了

Already Why don't you stay over

这么快留下来过夜吧

I'd love to but you know

我也想但是你知道

my mother needs me in the morning.

我妈早上需要我

Please. I think the woman can manage

拜托我认为她能

to put a wig on by herself.

自己戴假发

It's not just the wig.

不仅仅是假发

It's pinning her hair up drawing on her eyebrows.

还要把她的头发盘起来画眉毛

It's a two person job.

是两个人才能干的活儿

It's just when you leave right after we make love

只是我们刚做完爱你就走

it makes me feel...

让我觉得自己

cheap.

很贱

Oh honey I'm sorry.

亲爱的对不起

What can I do

我能做什么呢

Stay.

留下来

Okay.

好吧

Like what another five ten minutes

再待个五分十分钟吗

Go home.

回家吧

Your call.

听你的

Howard...

霍华德

have you ever considered us living together

你有考虑过一起住吗

Boy I don't know.

天啊我不知道

You me Ma living under the same roof

你我妈住在同一屋檐下

No I mean just you and me.

不是我是说只有你和我

You can move in here

你可以搬过来

or we can find a place.

或者我们另找个住处

I've got a better solution. What

-我有个更好的主意 -什么

We wait for my mom's heart to explode

我妈吃那么多盐心脏早晚受不了

from all the salt she eats.

我们等她心脏崩溃

Then we just stick her in the ground flip her mattress

把她埋进土里把她的床垫翻个面儿

and move into the big bedroom.

搬进大卧室

Great.

很好

Look at us planning a future together

看看我们在一起规划未来啦

Who's there

是谁

Are you a sex criminal

是性侵者吗

Sex criminals don't have keys Ma

性侵者没有钥匙妈

Where were you so late

这么晚你到哪儿去了

I was out with Bernadette

我和伯纳黛特出去了

I know what that means

我知道那是什么意思

I watch Dr. Phil

我看《菲尔博士》

(美国脱口秀节目)

I hope to God you used a condom

希望上帝保佑但愿你用避孕套了

I'm not having this conversation with you Ma

我不跟你谈这个话题妈

God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases

上帝保佑你不会得个什么新型怪性病

Nobody has a disease

没人有病

I hope not

希望如此

I share a toilet with you

我跟你共用一个厕所呢

Is that what you want

那就是你想的吗

To give your mother herpes

想让你妈妈得上疱疹吗

That's it I don't have to take this

够啦我受够啦

Good luck with your eyebrows in the morning

祝你早上画眉毛顺利

Who's there

是谁

Are you a sex criminal

你是性侵者吗

I'm still leaving

我还没走

I just forgot my Claritin

我忘拿我的克敏能了

(含氯雷他定抗过敏药物)

Hey what's up

什么事

I need a place to crash.

需要个住的地方

Uh sure.

当然

Why

为什么

Big fight with my mother.

跟我妈大吵一架

Still arguing over which CSI is the best

还在争哪部《犯罪现场调查》最棒吗

No we agreed they all have their merits.

不是我们一致同意它们各有千秋

This was about Bernadette.

是关于伯纳黛特

What's going on

怎么了

Howard's gonna sleep here tonight.

霍华德今晚要在这睡

He had a fight with his mother.

他跟他妈吵架了

Did you offer him a hot beverage

你给他上热饮了吗

No.

没

Leonard social protocol states when a friend is upset

莱纳德社交礼仪规定如果朋友心情不好

you offer them a hot beverage such as tea.

你应该给他们倒杯热饮比如茶

Tea does sound nice.

茶听起来是不错

You heard the man Leonard.

你听见他的话了莱纳德

And while you're at it I'm upset

与此同时我也心情不好

that we have an unannounced houseguest so make me cocoa.

因为来了一位不速之客所以给我一杯可可

Point of inquiry

有个问题

given that Leonard is your secondary friend

既然莱纳德是你的第二好友

and Koothrappali is your primary friend

库萨帕里才是你的头号好友

why didn't you seek refuge under his roof

你为什么没去他那

There's no room.

没地方

His sister is staying with him.

他妹妹住在他家

Wait wait. What

等等等等什么

Cocoa Leonard. Focus.

可可莱纳德集中精力

I'm down in the dumps here.

我现在很郁闷

Priya's in town

普丽娅来了吗

Yeah some work thing.

对为了工作的事

Anyway my mother seems to think that Bernadette...

我妈好像觉得伯纳黛特

Hold on. When did Priya get here

等下普丽娅啥时候来的

I don't know. A couple of days ago.

不知道几天前吧

The thing is Bernadette doesn't like that I have to take care

问题是伯纳黛特不喜欢我每天

of my mother and my mother doesn't trust Bernadette...

照顾我妈我妈又不信任伯纳黛特

Yeah that's a real pickle.

嗯确实很难办

Bye.

拜拜

Don't worry.

别担心

As your tertiary friend

作为你排名第三的好朋友

I am prepared to step in and comfort you.

我愿意挺身而出安慰你

That's not really necessary.

其实用不着这样

No no. I'll finish making the tea

不行不行我来把茶泡好

while you narcissistically ramble on

你继续自说自话地

about whatever's troubling you.

倒那什么乱七八糟的苦水吧

Thanks.

多谢

That's what tertiary friends are for.

这就是排在第三位的朋友的作用

Who is it

谁啊

It's Leonard.

莱纳德

You can't come in.

你不能进来

I just want to talk to her.

我就想和她说句话

I forbid it.

我毙之

Open the door Rajesh.

开门吧拉杰

You heard me.

我说过了

I forbidded it.

我毙毙之

"Forbidded" it

"毙毙之"

"Forbaded" it

"吡毙之"

Get out of the way.

给我让开

What are you doing here

你来做什么

What are you doing here

你又是来做什么

I have business in Los Angeles.

我在洛杉矶有点公事

Why didn't you call

为什么不给我打电话

Clearly she was sending you a message

显然啊她在暗示你

to take a hike Mike.

滚远点迈克同学

I'm sorry. I thought about calling

不好意思我想过给你打电话

but I just wasn't sure if seeing you was such a good idea.

但我不知道和你再见面到底合不合适

I know. Last time I came on too strong.

我懂上次我有些太着急了

Can we talk in private

咱俩能单独聊聊吗

No Sure.

-不行 -行啊

It's completely inappropriate for a single woman

一个单身女人私下招待男性

to entertain a man in private.

这实在太荒唐了

If you insist on talking you must do it on the couch

要是你俩非得聊的话就在沙发上聊

All right you may talk in the bedroom

好吧你俩可以在卧室里聊

but I want this door to remain open

但是我要求你们不许关门

All right just this once you may close the door.

好吧这次让你关门

But keep in mind I'll be right out here

但你给我记住我就在外面

monitoring the situation

监视你俩的动向

Oh damn it.

该死

Leonard when you get this message call me.

莱纳德听到这条留言后请速回电

Priya this is your brother.

普丽娅我是你哥

When you get this tell Leonard to check his voicemail.

听到留言后请让莱纳德查收他的语音信箱

Would you be sleeping over again this evening

你今晚还住我们那儿吗

Because you're welcome to.

因为我们很欢迎你

That's very nice of you but I made other plans.

承蒙美意但是我自己有计划

Well just keep in mind that should you ever need

你只要记得只要你需要一位

a slightly apathetic tertiary friend

略显冷淡的第三好的朋友

I stand at the ready.

我时刻准备着

Hi Howard. Hi Sheldon.

嗨霍华德嗨谢尔顿

Hello. Hey.

-嗨 -嗨

Why are you holding hands

你俩为啥牵着手

I forbid you to hold hands.

我禁止你俩牵手

Rajesh you know Leonard and I spent the night together.

拉杰你知道莱纳德和我一起过夜了

Yeah but you were just sleeping

对但是你俩只是睡觉而已

because I forboded you to have sex.

因为我禁子你俩做爱了

The word is "forbade""

应该是"禁止"

You sure That doesn't sound right.

你确定吗听起来怪怪的

Listen Rajesh Leonard and I have decided

听着拉杰莱纳德和我已经决定

to see each other again

重拾旧情了

and you don't get to tell me

你不可以决定

who I can and can't have a relationship with.

我该和谁拍拖

Actually he can.

其实他可以

The Hindu Code of Manu is very clear in these matters.

印度的《摩奴法典》对这类问题有明确规定

If a woman's father is not around

如果一个女人的父亲不在

the duty of controlling her base desires falls

那么控制她基本欲望的责任

to the closest male member of her family in this case Raj.

就落在了她最亲的男性亲属身上也就是拉杰

The code also states

法典还规定

that if she disobeys she will be reborn

如果她违背了的话她下辈子将

"in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases."

"投胎为豺疾病缠身"

If true

如果这是真的

that seems like an awfully large gamble

考虑到奖品只是莱纳德

given that the prize is Leonard.

你这个赌注貌似下得大了点

There it is Priya. We're Indian.

就是这样普丽娅我们是印度人

We believe this stuff.

就信这些玩意

I think it also says that if you eat beef

我觉得法典上还说如果你吃牛肉了

you need to live with cows for three months

就得和母牛一起住三个月

and drink their urine.

天天喝牛尿

Some of it makes sense some of it's crazy.

良莠参半不可全信

My point is you can't go out with Leonard.

我是说你不能和莱纳德在一起

Who can't go out with Leonard

谁不能和莱纳德在一起

My sister.

我妹妹

Penny this is Raj's sister Priya.

佩妮这位是拉杰的妹妹普丽娅

It's very nice to meet you.

很高兴见到你

Oh yeah you too.

哦我也是

Priya if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness

普丽娅如果你觉得有些紧张或者尴尬

it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to

很可能是因为莱纳德和佩妮以前曾经

if I may quote Howard "do the dance with no pants."

用霍华德的话来说叫做"赤裸共舞"

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Really

你非得这么说吗

Hey Bernadette can I talk to you for a second

伯纳黛特我能跟你说句话吗

Sure.

好

Penny you became disenchanted with Leonard

佩妮作为莱纳德曾经的恋人你和他

as a lover.

分手了

Would you please tell my sister why

能不能跟我妹妹说说是为啥

Listen my mom's going to Palm Springs

跟你说哈我妈要去棕榈泉市

to visit her sister.

拜访她妹妹

That's two whole nights in a row I can sleep over

我就有整整两个晚上

with you all the way to morning.

能陪着你到天亮了

Unless the desert air dries out her sinuses

除非沙漠的干旱气候让她鼻窦干得厉害

in which case I'll have to schlep out there

那样的话我就得扛着

with the big humidifier.

庞大的增湿器赶过去

That's it

就这样吗

That's your big solution to all of our problems

这就是解决咱俩这些问题的妙招吗

If your mom's nose holds up we get two nights together

趁你妈不注意我们才得两晌贪欢

Isn't that great

这不很美妙吗

No it's not great.

不并不好

You need to make a choice.Me or your mother.

你得作出选择要我还是你妈

Wrong answer.

回答错误

No wait.

不等等

You didn't let me finish.

我还没说完

I'm listening.

我听着呢

I came as quickly as I could.

我尽最快速度赶来了

Okay.

好的

Why

为什么

To comfort you of course.

当然是赶来安慰你

Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister.

谢尔顿说了莱纳德跟拉杰妹妹约会的事

So I high tailed it over here

所以我赶到这里

to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

来安慰你破碎的心

Amy I'm fine.

艾米我没事

You don't have to be strong for me.

你不用在我面前逞强的

Now let's talk about Priya that man stealing bitch.

我们来谈谈普丽娅那偷男人的婊子

What

什么

In situations like this

在这样的情况下

best girlfriends are often catty about the other woman.

闺蜜经常都一起声讨小三的

Really I am not upset about Leonard and Priya.

真的我对莱纳德和普丽娅的事毫不伤心

Oh. Then perhaps you don't understand what's going on.

那你可能是并不清楚是怎么回事

Your former boyfriend has replaced you

你的前男友另找了

with what appears to be a very suitable mate.

一个看上去非常相配的女友

Arguably much more suitable than you.

可以说比你更相配得多

Oh. Well good for him.

好吧那对他来说不错啊

Hey what do you mean "More suitable"

你说"更相配"是什么意思

Well granted Penny your secondary sexual characteristics

佩妮虽然你的第二性征

are reasonably bodacious.

相当明显

but Priya is highly educated

但普丽娅有高学历

she's an accomplished professional she comes from the culture

她是成熟的专业人员她们的文化中

that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex.

甚至还有性爱宝典

Whereas you on the other hand are a community college dropout

而你只是社区大学辍学生

who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

你们那的文化中只有如何把牛推倒的书

Yeah. Okay I got it. I got it.

好吧我听懂了

So... what is all that stuff

那些都是什么

This is a portable electroencephalogram.

这是个便携式脑电波机

I'm doing research on emotions and brain activity.

我正在做关于情绪和大脑活动的研究

So when you start crying

所以你哭的时候

I can see which region of the brain is activated.

我能看到你大脑的哪一区域被激活

Then I'm going to stimulate the analogous area

然后我就刺激猕猴大脑中

in the brain of a rhesus monkey and see if he cries.

相似区域看它是否也会哭

Cool huh

很酷吧

I choose you.

我选你

Really

真的吗

Yep. I moved out of my mother's house.

对我搬出了我妈家

Cord is cut.I'm all yours.

切断了束缚我是你的了

What did she say when you told her

你告诉她时她怎么说

I don't know. She hasn't responded to my email yet.

不知道她还没回我的电邮

This is so great.

太好了

I love you Howard.

我爱你霍华德

I love you too.

我也爱你

So what's for dinner

晚饭吃什么

Well I don't really have much of anything in the house.

我家里没什么东西吃

That's fine.

没事

Why don't we go fool around in our bedroom

不如先去我们的卧室做点好事

And then you can go shopping.

然后你可以去买东西

I thought maybe after we eat we could see an early movie.

我想吃完后我们去看个早场电影吧

I'd love that.

好啊

I love the way you say "I'd love that."

我喜欢你说"好啊"的口音

She says it the same way I do.

哥也是这么说的

"I'd love that."

好啊

Everybody in India says it that way.It's not a big deal.

印度人人都这么说没什么了不起的

Rajesh don't be a child.

拉杰别这么幼稚

I'm not being a child.

我没在耍幼稚

Leonard I swear to God

莱纳德我对天发誓

if your sister ever comes to town

你姐姐要是来这

I shall have my way with her.

我也会好好"关照"她的

My sister's 38 and married.

我姐姐38岁已婚

(模仿莎士比亚句式)

All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter.

那就让霍夫斯塔德家族蒙受更多耻辱

Ooh I thought I smelled pizza.

我好像闻到了披萨味

That's remarkable.

太了不起了

If pepperoni were an explosive substance

要是意大利辣香肠是爆炸物

you could replace German shepherds at our nation's airports.

你就可以取代国家机场的德国牧羊犬了

Hi. Penny right

你好你是佩妮对吧

Oh yes. H Hi. I'm sorry.

对你好抱歉

I didn't know you had company. I don't want to impose.

我不知道你们有客人不想来打扰

No no. It's not an imposition.

不你这不是打扰

At this point in our ecosystem you are akin to the plover

此时在我们的生态系统中你就相当于千鸟

(千鸟又叫牙签鸟常充当鳄鱼牙签的角色)

a small scavenging bird that eats extra food

一种小型净化鸟类从鳄鱼的牙缝间

from between the teeth of crocodiles.

吃掉多余的食物

Please fly into our open maw and have at it.

请飞到我们张开的咽喉尽情享用吧

If I had more than a box of baking soda in my refrigerator

要不是我冰箱就剩一瓶小苏打

I wouldn't have to take that.

我肯定不吃这嗟来之食

Hi bestie.

嗨闺蜜

Hi.

嗨

So um Priya you're a lawyer right

普丽娅你是律师对吧

I know. Pretty boring huh

我懂很无聊是吧

Oh come on. It's not boring at all.

拜托一点都不无聊

She's currently helping set up a secondary derivative market

她正在帮助建立一个二级市场

which would allow overseas car firms to hedge their investments

以便海外汽车公司巩固其投资

against potential advancements in battery technology.

以对抗电池技术的潜在进步

Thank you Leonard.

谢谢你莱纳德

That doesn't make it sound boring at all.

让我的工作听着一点都不无聊了

I'm sorry but...

抱歉...

So how you holding up

你还好吧

I'm fine.

我没事

Oh who are you kidding She's breathtaking.

开什么玩笑她那么动人

So Penny

佩妮

Leonard tells me you're an actress.

莱纳德跟我说你是个演员

That must be pretty exciting.

这工作肯定相当令人兴奋吧

Oh yeah yeah. It's real great.

对是挺棒的

Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition

今天我开车去范奈司试镜

I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial.

我原以为是一个猫食的广告

Turned out to be porn.

到那才发现是黄片

Did you get the part

你有幸参演吗

I didn't do the audition.

我连试镜都没试

Given the state of your career

鉴于你岌岌可危的职业生涯

can you really afford to be picky

你还能挑三拣四的吗

I took acting classes when I was at Cambridge.

我在剑桥的时候上过表演课

I loved it.

我超爱的

We did Taming of the Shrew.

我们当时教的是《驯悍记》[莎士比亚著名喜剧]

Oh wow. I love Taming of the Shrew.

哇我超爱《驯悍记》

I did a paper on it in high school.

我高中的时候还写过一篇论文呢

"Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting

"谁不知道黄蜂的刺是在什么地方

In his tail."

在尾巴上"

"In his tongue" "Whose tongue "

-"在舌头上" -"谁的舌头"

"Yours if you talk of tails

"你的如果你谈论的是尾巴

and so farewell."

保重啦"

"What with my tongue in your tail "

"什么我的舌头在你的尾巴上"

I'm regretting my earlier cattiness.

真后悔之前我对她做出这么恶毒的评价

She is an absolute delight.

她绝对是个可人儿

Wow.

爽

Wow indeed.

爽死了

I can't believe we're finally living together.

真不敢相信我们终于住在一起了

Yeah.

是啊

You know what would make this moment perfect

你知道什么能让这一刻更加完美吗

What

什么

A little snack. You got any string cheese

零食你有奶酪棒吗

No. I I might have some cheddar.

没有我可能有些干酪

Not as good.

那个不好

You can't make strings with it.

拼不成绳子

Remind me to put it on your shopping list.

记得提醒我把它加入你的购物清单

Okay.

好吧

You have hypo allergenic detergent

你有低敏配方的洗衣粉吗

No.

没有

Better put it on the list.

那这个也要买哦

If you wash my underwear with regular soap

如果你用普通的肥皂帮我洗内内

I get little red bumps on my tuchus.

我的屁屁会长小红点

Wait a second.

等等

I'm doing your laundry

我还要帮你洗衣服

Well honey it's not gonna do itself.

拜托宝贝衣服又不会自己跳进洗衣机

Oh before I forget

差点忘了

tomorrow morning you're driving me to the dentist.

明天早上你得开车送我去看牙医

I have to take you

我一定要载你去吗

You don't have to take me. You get to take me.

现在不是一定要你做而是你必须要做

Wait a minute. Are you telling me

慢着你的意思是

your mother usually takes you to the dentist

你妈妈通常都带你去看牙医吗

It's not weird.

这有什么奇怪的

There's lots of kids there with their moms.

诊所里有很多小孩都是妈妈陪着来的

I can't believe this.

真让人难以置信

What It's fun.

为什么多有爱呀

If I have no cavities

如果我没有蛀牙

afterwards we go out for a treat.

检查过后我们就去大餐一顿

All right Howard

够了霍华德

let's get something straight right now.

有件事我必须得跟你直说

I'm not going to be your mother.

我不会像你妈一样照顾你的

Whoa whoa whoa

喂喂喂

Where did that come from

此话怎讲

Who's that

谁啊

Is it a sex criminal

是性侵者吗

Nobody wants to do that to you Ma

妈在你面前谁都硬不起来

Where were you

你死去哪里了

Didn't you read my email

你没看见我的电子邮件吗

You know I can't turn on that ferkakta computer

你也知道我不会开那破电脑

I left you some brisket on the kitchen counter

我给你留了点鸡胸肉在厨房柜台上

Thank you

谢谢

Remember to floss after.

吃完记得用牙线剔干净

We have the dentist in the morning

明天早上我们得去看牙医

Oh hey. What's up

有事吗

I just wanted to check in on you.

我只是来看看你怎么样

Why

为什么

It seems like the appropriate thing to do

这是最恰当不过的事情

when one's best friend finds herself replaced

因为当自己好朋友发现自己被

by a smart beautiful woman

一个聪明美丽的女人所取代

with the smoldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger.

而她如同温顺的孟加拉母老虎有一种蓄势待发的性欲

I already told you I'm okay with it.

我跟你说过我没事

I mean if anything I'm quite pleased

我是说我甚至于还很高兴

that Leonard has found someone

莱纳德找到了

that makes him so happy.

能让他开心的人

It's okay it's okay.

没事的没事的

Thank you.

谢谢

Now let's get these electrodes attached

现在先把这些电极贴上

and see what's going on in that pretty little noggin of yours.

看看你的小脑袋里到底哪部分让你哭泣

Okay.

好的

I smell Chinese food.

我闻到中国菜的味道

It's actually Thai.

其实是泰国菜

You're slipping.

你的嗅觉下降了

Are Leonard and Priya here

莱纳德和普丽娅在吗

They went to Catalina for the weekend.

他们去卡达利娜岛度周末了[全美最漂亮的小岛]

Oh. Where's Raj

拉杰呢

At home forbidding it.

在家远程禁止他们去

How about Howard

霍华德呢

I'm given to understand

据说他的母亲

his mother grounded him for running away.

把他禁足了防止他偷跑

Oh okay.

好吧

Well I guess it's just the two of us huh

那就剩咱俩了对吧

Actually it's the three of us.

事实上是剩咱三个

What up bestie

你好啊闺蜜

Good news.

好消息

Thanks to you I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry

多亏了你我才能成功把恒河猴弄哭

like a disgraced televangelist.

就像那种蓄意煽情的情感类节目主持人一样

Great.

不错

So you feeling better

那你感觉好点了吗

Not really.

还没有

Sheldon you have a guest who's upset.

谢尔顿你的客人心情不好

Right. I'll make tea.

知道了我去倒茶

Sweetie it's okay. I don't want tea.

亲爱的没关系我不需要

I'm sorry. It's not optional.

抱歉你没得选择

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