生活大爆炸-S03E11_生活大爆炸

S01

there were so many blinking lights on the house

房子的周围还有一闪一闪的灯光

Oh I always tear up

每次看到格林奇的心脏[出自影片《圣诞怪杰》]

When the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.

涨大三倍的时候我都止不住要流泪

Tears seem appropriate.

流泪是应该的

Enlargement of the heart muscle

心肌的扩张

Or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is a serious disease

或是肥大型心肌病都是重病

which could lead to congestive heart failure.

会引起充血性心力衰竭

You really didn't like it Sheldon

你不喜欢他是吧谢尔顿

No on the contrary.

不正相反

I found the Grinch to be a relatable engaging character.

我认为格林奇是个体贴又迷人的角色

And I was really with him right up to the point

而且我十分赞赏

that he succumbed to social convention

他屈从于社会习俗

And returned the presents and saved Christmas.

回赠礼物拯救了圣诞节的行为

What a buzz kill that was.

多么扫兴啊

When we watch Frosty the Snowman he roots for the sun.

我们看《圣诞雪人》的时候他赞成出太阳

Excuse me

请注意

But the sun is essential for all life on Earth.

太阳是万物之必需

Frosty is merely

而圣诞雪人只是一个

A bit of frozen supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat.

冰雪构成的怪物瞬息即逝还戴着偷来的帽子

A crime by the way for which he is never brought to account.

那是犯罪而且居然从没有人为此指责他

I just love decorating the Christmas tree.

我超爱装饰圣诞树

It makes me feel like a little girl again.

感觉自己又回到了小时候

We didn't have a tree when I was growing up.

我小时候家里没有圣诞树

Really Why not

真的吗为什么

Mmm in my family

在我家

Holidays weren't so much celebrated as studied

节日通常是用来研究人类社会中

For their anthropological and psychological implications

它们起到的人类学和心理学意义

On human society.

而不是用来庆祝的

Oh sounds festive.

真有节日气氛

Did you at least give presents

那你们总会互赠礼物吧

Mmm in a way.

某种程度上

We presented papers.

我们互赠研究论文

And then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other.

然后分小组讨论再相互评论

Sheldon what about you

谢尔顿你呢

Did you have a Christmas tree

你家有圣诞树吗

Oh yes.

当然有

We had a tree we had a manger

有圣诞树有马槽

We had an inflatable Santa Claus

草坪上还有一个充气圣诞老人

with plastic reindeer on the front lawn.

身前站着一只塑料驯鹿

And to make things even more jolly

为了增添欢乐气氛

They induced neighborhood wide seizures.

引得周围邻居纷纷来偷

So I take it you don't want to help us trim the tree.

所以我猜你不想帮我们装饰圣诞树咯

I do not.

不想

But if you insist

但如果你坚持

on decorating a spider infested fire hazard in my home

把一个爬满蜘蛛的的易燃物放在我家

I would request that you add this.

我要求你把这个加上

What is it

那是什么

You're kidding right

你是在开玩笑吗

It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.

这是牛顿爵士的半身像

Oh sure sure.

没错是的

Very Christmasy.

很有圣诞气息

Wait excuse me but it's much

不应该是比你挂在那棵树上的

more "Christmasy" than anything you've put on the tree.

其他东西都更有圣诞气息

Here we go.

又开始了

December 25 1642 Julian calendar

公历1642年12月25日

Sir Isaac Newton is born.

艾萨克·牛顿爵士诞生

Jesus on the other hand was actually born in the summer

而另一方面耶稣其实夏天出生的

His birthday was moved

他的生日被改到了

to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday

和异教徒某个传统节日的同一天

that celebrated the winter solstice

那一天本该要点起篝火

with lit fires and slaughtered goats.

屠宰山羊庆祝冬至

Which frankly

老实说

sounds like more fun than 12 hours of church with my mother

那会比和我妈妈在教堂待上12小时

followed by a fruitcake.

然后回来吃水果蛋糕要有趣得多

Merry Newton mas everyone.

祝大家"牛诞快乐"

I sense that's not sincere although I have no idea why.

虽然说不上原因但我觉得你这祝福并不真诚

No it's fine. Look Sir Issac can go

没事的牛顿爵士可以

right next to this little candy cane.

跟这个拐杖糖挂在一起

No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.

不行牛顿要放在树的顶端

No he doesn't.

不不行

I understand.

我明白

You dispute Newton's claim that he invented calculus

你是因为牛顿声称是他发明了微积分而抵触他

and you want to put Gottfried Leibniz on the top.

你想要把莱布尼茨[德数学家]挂在树顶

Yeah you got me.

没错被你发现了

I'm a Leibniz man.

我支持莱布尼茨

Well perhaps when your mother gets here

也许等你妈妈来了之后

she'll talk some sense into you.

她能启发你清醒一点

What

什么

Your your mother's coming When

你妈妈要来什么时候

Tomorrow.

明天

When were you going to tell me

那你打算什么时候告诉我

Um... tomorrow

明天吧

Why were you keeping this a secret

你为什么要对我保密

Well I just I thought...

我只是只是想

If I can interject here

我能打断一下吗

Obviously Leonard is concerned

很显然莱纳德是担心

that his mother won't approve of you as his mate.

怕他妈妈不会赞成你做他的伴侣

Why wouldn't she approve of me

为什么她会不赞成

I'm adorable.

我很招人喜欢啊

You are it's just...

你确实是只是

If I can interject again.

我能再打断一下吗

Leonard comes from a remarkably high achieving family

莱纳德的家人都很优秀成绩斐然

who have all chosen high achieving partners.

他们选择的伴侣也都很优秀

He probably feels

他可能是觉得

that it's doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed

他妈妈很难认同

with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement

他跟一个生平最高成就

is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu.

就是背下芝士蛋糕工厂菜单的女人约会

Hey it's a big menu.

那可是份很长的菜单

There's two pages just for desserts.

光甜点就有两页

I know.

我知道

And those specials they change every day.

还有每天一换的当日特餐

Okay you know what It's lame when I say it.

好吧我自己说起来就够废了

It's just ridiculous when you pile on. Okay.

-你还添油加醋就更差了 -好吧

Sorry.

抱歉

So what did she say when you told her we were going out

你跟她说我们在交往她是怎么说的

Um...

嗯...

You didn't tell her we were going out did you

你没告诉她我们在交往是吧

Um...

嗯...

Why not

为什么不告诉她

Um... Leonard...

-嗯... -莱纳德

I'm no expert on meditation

冥想我并不擅长

but if you're trying to calm yourself down

但如果你想要冷静下来

I believe the word is "Om."

我想最好说"唵"[印度教咒语]

It was so nice of you

你远道来机场接我

to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.

真是太贴心了

No trouble at all.

这没什么的

I drove Mother.

是我开的车妈妈

I'm driving now.

现在也是我在开

Yes dear. Mommy's proud.

没错宝贝你真是妈妈的骄傲

I've been meaning to thank you

我一直很想感谢你

for your notes on my paper

为我的论文加的注解

disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.

证明了量子脑动力学理论的荒谬

My pleasure.

我很荣幸

For a non physicist

作为非物理学家

you have a remarkable grasp

您对大脑水分子中的电偶极子

of how electric dipoles in the brain's water molecules

难以形成玻色凝聚物的原因

could not possibly form a Bose condensate.

理解得非常到位

Wait wait wait.

等等

When did you send my mom notes on a paper

你什么时候给我妈论文加的注解

August 16.

8月16日

Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.

就在她做完腕管综合症手术之后

Oh did I thank you for the flowers You did.

-我谢过你送的花了吗 -谢过了

I don't really like flowers.

其实我并不喜欢花

Neither do I but it's the social convention.

我也不喜欢但那是社会习俗

It is isn't it

是啊没错

Wait wait wait. You had surgery

等等你动过手术

Yes and Sheldon sent me flowers.

是的谢尔顿还送了花

No I heard that.

我听到了

Then what was all that "wait wait wait" about

那你还"等等"什么

I just don't understand

我只是没搞明白

why he knows more about your life than I do.

他怎么比我还了解你的生活

Well I would assume it's because Sheldon

我认为是由于我和谢尔顿

and I stay in touch due to mutual interest and respect

因共同的兴趣和对彼此的尊重而时常联系

while you avoid me

而你却因你那

due to unresolved childhood issues.

无法释怀的童年阴影总是躲着我

It's what we think

我们认为正是这一点

caused your narcissistic personality disorder.

引起了你的自恋型人格障碍

We discussed it at length during our last video chat.

我们上次视频聊天时详细地探讨了这个问题

Although how we got onto the subject of you is baffling.

虽然不知道为什么会提到你

Yes but we are on the subject

没错既然我们又提到了

so I'm obliged to ask.

所以我不得不问一下

Leonard how are you

莱纳德最近过得怎样

Fine Mom. How are you

挺好妈妈你呢

Mmm menopausal.

我绝经了

Now I'm less fine.

现在我不怎么好了

Have you heard your brother has gotten engaged

你弟弟订婚了你听说了吗

No.

没

Sheldon why didn't you tell me

谢尔顿你给我讲讲吧

My bad.

是我的错

I did send a gift from both of us.

不过我代表我们两人送了礼

She's a remarkable girl.

她是个出众的女孩子

The youngest appeals court judge in New Jersey

新泽西州最年轻的上诉法院法官

and a two time Olympic bronze medalist.

还两次获得奥运会铜牌

You must be very happy.

那你肯定非常高兴

Why I'm not marrying her.

为什么又不是我要娶她

So how about you

你最近怎么样

Are you seeing anyone interesting

跟什么有趣的人在交往吗

Well I'm not sure about interesting but...

我不确定她是不是有趣不过...

Not the time Sheldon.

谢尔顿还不是时候

Very well.

好吧

Shall we switch topics

我们更换话题

to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz

谈谈牛顿或莱布尼茨吧[两人曾先后独立发明微积分]

It's all right Sheldon.

没事的谢尔顿

I will just pretend

我会假装

that Leonard's not withholding information.

莱纳德没叫你瞒着我

Although I will point out Leonard

虽然我仍要指出莱纳德

that I am a trained psychiatrist

我是名训练有素的精神病学家

and you are exhibiting the same secretive behavioral tics

你现在这偷偷摸摸欲盖弥彰的举动

that accompanied your learning to masturbate.

跟你小时候学着手淫那会没什么两样

Isn't she brilliant Leonard

莱纳德她太了不起了

How I envy you.

我真羡慕你

So Howard

霍华德

have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage

你跟拉杰终于鼓起了勇气

to express your latent homosexual feelings toward one another

向彼此表白了你们潜在的同性恋情结吗

What No.

什么没有

Why not

为什么没有

Because we don't have latent homosexual feelings

因为我们彼此之间并没有

toward one another.

潜在的同性恋情结

I see.

我明白了

No really.

不我说真的

I have a girlfriend now.

我现在有女朋友了

And where is she this evening

那她今晚在哪呢

She had to go out of town.

她有事出了城

Her grandmother died.

她祖母去世了

I see.

我明白了

Her grandmother died.

她祖母去世了

Honest to God.

我说真的

Leonard tell her I have a girlfriend.

莱纳德告诉她我有女朋友了

I don't know what you're talking about.

我不懂你在说什么

What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about

你什么意思不懂我在说什么

Tell her I have a girlfriend

告诉她我有女朋友了

All right.

好吧

He "has" a "girlfriend."

他"有女朋友了"

Her name is Bernadette. She's working as a waitress

她叫伯纳黛特也在当女侍应

but she's going to school to be a microbiologist.

不过还同时上学想成为微生物学家

Howard keep in mind that the more passionately

霍华德记住你越是执着于

you stick to this construct

坚持这样的想法

the more you're hurting your partner.

对你同伴的伤害也就越大

Do you really think your lips in my ear is helping

你真以为对着我耳朵这么讲话有用吗

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

抱歉我来晚了

Oh glad you're here. Uh sit down.

很高兴你来了坐

I'll get you a plate.

我去给你拿个碟子

Mom you remember Penny.

妈记得佩妮吧

Oh yes the waitress slash actress

当然那个有着无法释怀的恋父情结的

with the unresolved father issues.

女招待兼女演员

Has he finally come to terms

他最终正视到

with his little slugger growing breasts

他家的小小击球手胸部渐隆了吗

Well he sent me a football and a catcher's mitt for Christmas

他送了我个足球和棒球手套做圣诞礼物

So I'm going to say no.

所以我想还是没有吧

If it helps we're all good with your breasts.

如果这算安慰我们都很垂涎你的丰胸

Classic overcompensation.

典型的过度代偿行为

Oh speaking of fathers Leonard

说到父亲莱纳德

That reminds me I'm divorcing your father.

我想起来了我和你爸离婚了

What

什么

Yes. He was cheating on me.

他背着我出轨

No Yes with some waitress

-不是吧 -就是和一个什么

From the university cafeteria.

大学餐厅里的女招待

Can you believe it

难以置信吧

A waitress

居然和一个女招待

Oh no offense dear.

无意冒犯亲爱的

No it sounded like a compliment.

没事不知怎的听起来更像称赞

When did this happen

什么时候的事情

Mmm well let's see.

让我想想

Sheldon when did I leave Leonard's father

谢尔顿我什么时候和他离婚的

September 22.

9月22日

Oh yes that's right.

对了想起来了

The weekend after Leonard's dog died.

就在莱纳德的狗狗死后一周

Mitzy's dead

米琪死了吗

She was old and blind Leonard.

她已经又老又瞎了莱纳德

What choice did we have

我们也无能为力

I don't believe this.

我真不敢相信

Why am I the last to know

为什么我是最后一个知道的

Excuse me Leonard I am the one who's getting a divorce

不好意思莱纳德离婚的是我

Mitzy is the one who is dead.

死的是米琪

Why are you the one making a fuss

你这么大惊小怪干嘛

You're right.

好吧

I'm I'm I'm I'm sorry.

我真是抱歉

I'm way out of line

过分的是我行了吧

So Penny what's new in your life

佩妮你有什么新鲜事儿吗

Nothing.

没

Not a damn thing.

鬼都没有

Thank you for driving me back to my hotel.

谢谢你开车送我回酒店

Oh it's not a problem.

没事儿

I was going to ask Leonard to do it

我本想让莱纳德送我

But he seemed a bit emotionally unstable

但他似乎有点情绪波动

And you don't want someone like that operating heavy machinery.

这样的人可不能操纵重型机械

No you do not.

没错我同意

Your "check engine" light is on.

你车上的"检查引擎"提示灯亮了

Yeah I gotta put a sticker over that.

是啊我真该贴张贴纸上去

So uh you must be devastated about your divorce.

离婚一定让你感到伤心欲绝吧

Oh not at all.

一点也不

But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle

倒是坐在一辆不进行例行维护的汽车里

That's not subjected to regular maintenance.

让我感到有些焦虑

Come on I mean you're not upset

等等你的婚姻终结了

that your marriage is over

你却一点不难过吗

Well initially I felt something akin to grief

一开始我感到类似悲伤

And perhaps anger

或近似生气的情绪

But that's the natural reaction of the limbic system

但是在那不要脸的狗杂种背叛我之后

To being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.

大脑边缘系统的自然反应

Sure sure.

很有理

Thankfully my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact

但好在我已经8年没和他发生性关系了

That I haven't had intercourse with him in eight years.

这也多少减轻了打击程度

Eight years

居然有八年

Oh that's nothing.

这没什么

I've been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.

自1982年来性高潮问题都是我自行解决

Yikes.

欧耶

What's so funny

笑什么

That's exactly what I say during orgasms "Yikes."

我性高潮时都用这个词儿 "欧耶"

You know what I could use a drink.

我现在真想喝一杯

Do you want to stop for a drink

顺道去喝一杯吗

Oh I don't drink. I do I'll teach you.

-我不喝酒 -有我教你呢

Leonard

莱纳德

Leonard

莱纳德

Leonard...

莱纳德

What is it

干嘛

I made tea.

我泡了茶

I don't want tea.

我不想喝茶

I didn't make tea for you.

又不是泡给你喝的

This is my tea.

这是我的茶

Then why are you telling me

那你告诉我干嘛

It's a conversation starter.

这算是开场白

That's a lousy conversation starter.

这开场白烂透了

Oh is it We're conversing.

是吗我们不是开始聊天了吗

Checkmate.

将军你输了

What do you want Sheldon

你到底想要干嘛谢尔顿

What I want is to be departing the starship Enterprise

我想要从企业号星舰飞船上

In a one man shuttle craft headed to the planetoid I rule

乘坐单人穿梭机前往由我统治的星球

Known as Sheldon Alpha Five.

著名的谢尔顿阿尔法5号星球

I want that too.

这我也想

Why are you here

我问你来这里干嘛

To comfort you of course.

当然是来安慰你

No that's not going to work at all.

哦不这个位置一点也不好

I'll comfort you from over here.

我还是到那边去安慰你吧

Leonard what you're experiencing

莱纳德你现在的心理状态

Is a classic Jungian crisis

是典型的荣格主义危机[著名瑞士心理学家]

In which the aging individual mourns the loss

个体随着年龄的增长会哀悼

Of the never to be realized ideal family unit.

不可能实现的理想家庭成员的缺失

Thank you that's very comforting.

多谢真是倍感安慰

That's not the comforting part.

我还没说到安慰部分呢

It's not

还没说到啊

No no.

当然

The comforting part is that the Germans

安慰部分是对于你现在的感受

Have a term for what you're feeling.

德国人提出了一个专业术语

Weltschmerz.

悲观主义

It means

意思是

the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is

由假设与理想世界和现实世界之间

To a hypothetical idealized world.

比较产生的落差从而导致的抑郁情绪

You're right I do feel better.

果不其然我还真好受点了

Well the Germans have always been a comforting people.

德国人在安慰方面还真有一套

Just remember Leonard where your biological family

莱纳德只要记住即使你的亲生家人

Has failed you you always have me your surrogate family.

有负于你至少你还有我你的替代家人

You're my surrogate family

你是我的替代家人

If it's any consolation I'm not happy about it either.

如果这算是安慰我也没什么好高兴的

Good night.

晚安

Okay now this time try drinking it all at once.

好了这次来试试一口闷

Yikes.

欧耶

I've been responsible for my own buzz since 2003.

自2003年起我就自行解决酒后兴奋的问题

Another round for me and my homegirl.

给我和我闺蜜再满上

I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities.

我感到一阵暖意扩散到四肢

As long as you don't feel it

只要别暖到让你

Running down your pants you're fine.

想脱裤子就准没事

Oh that is fascinating.

这一下太猛了

I'm noticing an immediate lowering of my inhibitions.

我感觉自己一下就没了矜持

For example

比如说

I'm seriously considering asking that busboy

我很认真地考虑起去叫那打杂的

To ravish me in the alleyway while I eat cheesecake.

让我边吃着芝士蛋糕边在后巷强奸我

What do you think

你怎么想

Well we are known for our cheesecake.

我们的芝士蛋糕很出名

Hit us again. Yes.

-给我们再来一杯 -对

If a little is good more must be better.

如果喝一点感觉就这么爽再喝一定更爽

Hey Bev guess what What

-贝芙你猜怎么着 -什么

I'm sleeping with your son.

我跟你儿子上床了

Really Which one

真的哪个儿子

The one from whom I live across the hall... from.

就是住在我家对面的那个

Well that's convenient.

那倒是很方便

How did his penis turn out

他的小弟弟咋样

Oh Beverly I can't talk to my boyfriend's mother

贝芙丽我可不想跟我男友的母亲

About his penis. Oh fair enough.

-讨论他的小弟弟 -有道理

What can you tell me if anything

那你对那打杂的

About that busboy's penis

他的小弟弟有何见解

Actually I've only had the cheesecake.

其实我只吃过芝士蛋糕

One more time.

再来一杯

You know Leonard did not want to tell you we were dating.

莱纳德不想告诉你我俩在交往

Really

真的

Well that means he's either

这要不就意味着

Embarrassed about the relationship

他对你们的关系感到尴尬

Or he doesn't care enough about his mother

要不就是他不怎么在乎他老妈

To tell her he's in one.

不想告诉她他在跟人交往

Either way one of us should be insulted.

不管是哪个原因我俩总有个人受辱

Well let's go find out who.

咱去证实下到底是谁受辱

You go get a taxi.

你先去拦辆出租

I'm gonna slip my business card

我得去往那打杂的屁股兜里

Into that busboy's back pocket

塞张我的名片

Cupping his firm right buttock as I do so.

扯起他的制服塞他右半边屁股兜里

Leonard...

莱纳德

Sonny boy

小宝贝

Get out here

快出来

Your mommy wants to talk to you

你妈咪想跟你谈谈

What the hell is going on

到底怎么回事

You're in trouble.

你麻烦大了

Why didn't you tell me you were tapping my homegirl

你干嘛不告诉我你在追我的闺蜜

Did I say that right

我这样说对吗

Yeah not bad not bad.

对不错很不错

Are you guys drunk

你们俩喝醉了吗

Well I hope so.

我倒想的

Otherwise why would we have stopped at Del Taco

不然我们干嘛停在Del Taco[著名快餐店]

Now how could you not tell me

你怎么能不告诉我

You were in a relationship

你在跟这么个可爱迷人的姑娘

With this lovely charming young woman

谈恋爱呢

Oh thank you. You're welcome.

-多谢夸奖 -不客气

Is it because she's uneducated

是因为她没啥文化

Trapped in a menial service position

又做的是低贱的服务生吗

What the hell happened to "lovely and charming"

你不是才说我可爱又迷人吗

How come you didn't tell me

你怎么能不告诉我

That you and Father were getting a divorce

你和爸离婚了

How come you didn't tell me you had surgery

怎么能不告诉我你动过手术

How come you didn't tell me my dog died

怎么能不告诉我我的狗狗死了

Wait wait wait wait wait...

等等等等

What I hear you saying

我知道你的意思了

Is that you want a more intimate mother son relationship.

你是想要更亲密的母子关系

I do.

是的

There. It's late.

好了很晚了

Now go to bed.

现在上床睡觉去

I'm getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart.

我感到一阵暖意扩散到心头

That's the Del Taco.

那是因为Del Taco[快餐店名]

Why is Leonard softly banging his head

为什么莱纳德在用他的头

Against his bedroom door

轻撞他卧室的门

Speaking of warm feelings come here.

说起暖意过来

Now I'd rather have the busboy.

还不如去吻那打杂的呢

Thank you for taking me to the airport.

谢谢你送我去机场

You're very welcome.

不客气

Once again I'm driving.

我再次重申是我在开车

I'm right here.

而且我就在这儿呢

Please I am very hungover

拜托我宿醉未醒够难受了

And in no mood to satisfy your need for approval.

没心情照顾到你想被肯定的心情

Sheldon I do hope you'll forgive me

谢尔顿我真心希望你能谅解

For my inappropriate behavior last night.

谅解我昨晚的不当之举

I don't blame you.

我并不怪你

You were intoxicated.

你只是喝醉了

Thank you.

谢谢

I blame Penny.

我怪的是佩妮

I blame Penny too.

我也怪佩妮

Bad Penny.

佩妮真坏

Wait a minute what are you talking about

等等你们在说什么

What inappropriate behavior

什么不当之举

I think it's best that you not know.

我想你最好不要知道

Agreed. Agreed.

-我同意 -同意

What the hell agreed.

不管了我也同意

And I want you to take very good care of this young woman.

你要好好对待这姑娘

Oh thank you Beverly.

谢谢你贝芙丽

You're welcome.

不客气

She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects.

她的职业前景没多大出路

Don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.

也别让她自个儿解决性高潮问题

Mother remember when I was complaining

妈记得我跟你抱怨过

That you don't communicate with me enough

你跟我之间交流不够吗

Yes dear. I'm over it.

-记得亲爱的 -我言过其实了

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