生活大爆炸-S06E16_生活大爆炸

S01

You'll never believe what happened to me at work today.

你绝对想不到我今天工作时遇上了什么事

This old guy was choking on his food and I saved his life.

一个老头子吃东西噎到了我救了他一命

You're kidding. Did you Heimlich him

真的吗你对他用了海姆立克急救法吗

No. I said "Oh my God I think that old guy's choking "

没有我说天啊我觉得他噎着了

and then one of the busboys Heimlich'ed him.

然后一个勤杂工对他用了海姆立克急救法

You're a hero.

你真是英雄

Yeah that was the point of the story.

我就是这意思

Oh yeah speaking of work do you know

说到工作你周四晚上

if you have Thursday night off

是不是不用上班

Um I think so. Why

好像是怎么了

What do you mean why It's Valentine's Day.

什么叫"怎么了" 那天是情人节啊

Oh right.

对哦

Yeah we can do something.

我们可以约个会

You could be a little more into it.

你可以表现得更热情一点

No I'm into it I'm into it.

我很热情我很热情

Just there's so much pressure to make the night special

只是要想度过一个特别之夜压力好大

and it never works out.

而且结果总不尽如人意

Okay well this time it's going to be different.

今年的情人节会有所不同的

Because I am like a romance ninja.

因为我就像一个浪漫忍者

You don't see it coming and then bam

出乎你意料突然一下

Romance watch out hearts kisses love ooh ya

浪漫注意心形亲亲爱情

You know sometimes I think I've made you

有时我以为我把你改造得

so much cooler than you used to be

比以前酷多了

and then you go and do that.

然后你就会闹腾两下证明我错了

So in conclusion

总而言之

I believe the painful sensation felt

我认为吃完辣椒后

after passing a meal of spicy chilies

排泄时感受到的痛苦

is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.

证明了直肠的确有味觉

I concur but you changed the subject.

我同意但你改变了话题

What are we doing for Valentine's Day

我们情人节有什么安排

Oh you caught that did you

被你发现了

第六季第十六集

生活大爆炸

Okay.

好

Okay.

行

Okay.

可以

Okay.

没问题

Okay

好的啦

Okay.

好

Everything okay

一切都还"好"吗

Bernie's a little cranky

妮妮有些暴躁

since she's been working like 17 hours a day.

因为她一天工作17个小时

And I've got a lot on my plate too because I've been

我也没闲着因为我一直

busting my tail playing Assassin's Creed.

都在忙着玩《刺客信条》

Hey Stuart

斯图尔特

you got anything going on for Valentine's Day

你情人节有什么安排吗

Not really.

没有

Other than hiding all the sharp objects around here

只是把这里所有尖锐的东西都藏起来

and white knuckling it till morning.

然后紧张兮兮到天明

What do you got going on

你打算干什么

Oh well I was going to spend the night

我本打算和我的小宝贝

with my special little lady but uh

共度今晚但是

she got worms and then I had to take her to the vet.

它长了寄生虫所以我得送它去看兽医

There must be something we can do.

肯定能找到事情打发时间的

Well uh how about you keep the store open late

不如你晚点关门

and we throw a party for all the people

我们举办一个派对

who don't have dates

邀请所有没约会的人

That actually sounds kind of nice.

听起来真是个好主意

Yeah the theme will be that the greatest love

派对主题是一个男人所拥有的

a man can have is the love he has with himself.

最伟大的爱就是对自己的爱

That's good.

挺好

Or maybe something a little less "Hand in the pants."

或者换个听着不那么像打飞机的主题

Oh Alex excellent.

艾利克斯太好了

I have a research problem

我有个研究问题

that I believe you can help with.

我相信你能助我一臂之力

Oh Dr. Cooper thank you.

库珀博士谢谢

I've been waiting for an opportunity

我一直在等待一个机会

to contribute to your scientific work.

为你的科研做出贡献

Oh no no. That's not going to happen no.

不不没那可能绝对没

What I need you to do is find a Valentine's gift

我是要你为我的女朋友

for my girlfriend.

挑情人节礼物

You realize I passed up an opportunity

你知道我推掉了

to work at Fermilab to take this job with you.

费米实验室的工作而选择与你合作吧

美国最重要的物理学研究中心之一

Well I guess those chaps will have to have

看来那些小伙子们得找别人

someone else buy their girlfriends presents.

来给他们的女友买礼物了

Now here is...

这里有

Let's see.

瞧瞧

This is...

这里

This is about $2 000.

这里大概是两千块

Um I think she likes monkeys and the color gray.

我觉得她喜欢猴子和灰色

Contribute to my work.

为我的科研做出贡献

Ah kids say the darnedest things.

小孩子真是会胡扯

Hey you coming to lunch

去吃中饭吗

Yeah one second.

稍等片刻

Come here. I want to show you something.

过来给你看个东西

What you looking at

你在看什么呢

Well I was trying to come up with something

我想送个非常浪漫的

really romantic to give Bernadette

情人节礼物给伯纳黛特

for Valentine's Day since she's been

因为她最近

such a pain in the ass.

真的很讨厌

You can't find a card that says that

找不到上面写着"你很讨厌"的贺卡吗

Check it out.

来看看

I used the atomic force microscope

我动用了材料科学实验室的

in the material science lab and wrote our initials

原子力显微镜在沙粒千分之一大小的心形上

in a heart 1/1 000 the size of a grain of sand.

刻上了我俩姓名首字母

Oh that's cool.

太帅了

A micro valentine for a microbiologist.

给微生物学家准备的"微小"情人节礼物

From her micro husband.

她"微小"的丈夫送的

That is amazing.

太棒了

How long did this take you

你花了多长时间

Mmm about 12 hours.

大概12个小时

I pulled an all nighter.

我忙活了整个通宵

Yeah I know it really took a bite

我知道我的游戏时间

out of my video game time.

惨遭侵占

What are you and Penny doing

你和佩妮打算干什么

Oh I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant for dinner.

我打算带她去高级餐厅共进晚餐

Oh that's not bad but as far as romance goes

还不错但从浪漫的角度来说

I think my gift hits it right out of...

我觉得我的礼物完全胜过了...

Want to come to dinner with us Yes please.

-想和我们共进晚餐吗 -带上我吧

Okay.

好

Amy will be here shortly

艾米马上就会到

expecting the perfect Valentine's gift so...

她在期待超赞的情人节礼物所以

you're up kid.

该你了丫头

Dazzle me. Go.

尽请支招吧

Okay I think I have some really great choices.

我确实有几个妙招

I went on Amy's Facebook page

我到艾米的Facebook主页上

and read up on her interests.

了解了一下她的喜好

Now see I never would have thought to do that.

瞧吧我就绝对想不到这样做

Clearly I made a good choice

很明显把此事交给你来办

farming this out to you.

真是太英明了

But I am telling you

你得知道

Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot.

艾米找到我做男朋友可真是中了头奖

Anyway my socks are on.

总之我脚上有袜子

knock socks off 给人惊喜

Let's knock them off.

快快把它们吓掉吧

Well um I know she loves playing the harp

我知道她喜欢弹竖琴

so I found this beautiful music box

所以我找到了这个精致的音乐盒

that plays one of her favorite songs.

弹奏的是她最喜欢的曲子

Now Amy already has a real harp.

可是艾米已经有真正的竖琴了

And it can play any song.

那玩意可以弹任何曲子

What are you trying to pull here

这一招的高明之处在哪

No I just thought it would be... Next.

-不我只是觉得这个 -下一个

Okay.

好吧

Um I know she's a fan of The Canterbury Tales

我知道她很喜欢《坎特伯雷故事集》

英国诗人乔叟的著名诗体短篇小说集

so I found...

所以我找到了

this cool map

这张很酷的地图

that illustrates the characters' journey through England.

上面标明了书中人物在英国的旅行路线

I thought we could put it in a really nice frame.

我们可以选个漂亮的框子裱起来

But she's got Google Maps on her phone.

但她的手机里装了谷歌地图

I don't know how to respond to that.

我词穷了

Well I hope it's with a third good option

我希望还有第三个不错的选择

because these first two... blah.

这前两个也太逊了

Okay.

好吧

Well uh luckily I saved the best for last.

幸运的是我把最好的留在最后了

Since Amy's a neuroscientist

艾米是个神经学家

I did some research and found out

我做了点调查发现

that Santiago Ramony Cajal

圣地亚哥·拉蒙尼·卡哈尔

the father of modern neuroscience

现代神经科学之父

did lots of hand drawings of brain cells.

曾绘制过许多脑细胞的手绘图

And I managed to find

而我想办法拿到了

this signed print.

这幅有其签名的版本

Oh this is truly remarkable.

这个可真了不起

Thank you.

谢谢

I think I'll keep it for myself.

我自己收下了

What about your girlfriend

那你的女朋友呢

It's too late. I call dibs.

太晚了我说了这个归我了

This place is really beautiful.

这家餐厅真是不错

Wah... romance ninja.

浪漫忍者

Sorry we're late.

抱歉迟到了

No problem. We just sat down.

没关系我们刚坐下

Mmm would you like some wine

想来点红酒吗

Yeah fill her up.

好给我倒上

I'll tell you when to stop.

叫你停再停

Is everything okay

一切都还好吗

Oh bite me.

你奈我何

Look we can still have a nice night.

我们今晚还是可以开开心心的

Just tell me where it is.

告诉我在哪就行了

Maybe if you did what you said you were going to do I'd tell you.

你要是能说到做到我就会告诉你了

Uh where what is

什么东西在哪

She hid my XBOX like I'm a child.

她像对付小孩一样把我的游戏机藏起来了

Yeah and my mom got me that for my birthday

那可是我妈妈给我的生日礼物

so if you don't give it back I'm telling.

你要是不还给我我就告状去

I've been working late every night.

我每天都工作到很晚

All I asked was that he

我只不过是要求他

clean the apartment and do one load of laundry.

把家里收拾干净洗一次衣服

But did he do it No.

但他做了吗没有

He just kept on playing that stupid game.

他就那么心安理得地玩那蠢游戏

You like pushing buttons so much

你这么喜欢按按钮

try pushing them on the washing machine.

干嘛不按按洗衣机的按钮

I said I'm sorry.

我道过歉了

Sorry doesn't clean my underpants buddy.

道歉可洗不了我的内裤哥们

I told you turn them inside out.

我跟你说过了翻过来穿就行了

And I told you to bite me.

然后我说我不愿意你奈我何

Trying to have a magical night here guys.

我们还想度过美好时光呢

Oh son of a bitch. What

-见鬼 -怎么了

Nothing. Nothing.

没什么

No tell me.

说嘛

It's just this guy I used to date.

那是我的前男友

Until he cheated on me with my friend Gretchen

后来他背着我和我的朋友格雷琴偷腥

who's here with him now.

也就是和他在一起那女的

You're kidding.

不是吧

And it looks like she lost a lot of weight damn it.

她好像瘦了不少可恶

I know it's not ideal

我知道他们的出现让你不开心

but don't let them ruin our night.

但没必要让他们毁了我们的夜晚

No you're totally right.

对你说得对

She could be skinny 'cause she's dying.

她可能是因为快死了所以这么瘦

That's the spirit.

这么想就对了

You know what screw them.

管他们的呢

Our night is going to be way more special than theirs.

我们的夜晚会比他们的难忘许多

Yeah.

对

What

怎么了

Oh you got to be kidding me.

逗姐玩呢是吧

Oh my God yes.

天啊我愿意

Of course I'll marry you.

我愿意嫁给你

Two can play this game.

谁说我们不行了

Penny... Get up.

-佩妮 -给我起来

All right.

好

It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day

所有在情人节没有伴侣的单身人士

can come here tonight and be together.

能来这里聚聚真好

Yeah I'm really looking forward to it.

是啊我很期待

In fact there's no place I would rather be than here.

事实上我就想待在这里哪也不想去

Except on a date with anybody.

除非有任何人愿意和你约会

Literally anybody.

真的任何人都可以

You know you and I have so much fun hanging out.

我们在一起总是很开心

If you were a girl

如果你是个女孩的话

all our problems would be solved.

我们所有问题就迎刃而解了

What

什么

Oh yeah think about it.

你仔细想想

We'd hang out

我们可以总在一起玩

we'd read comic books we'd see movies.

可以一起看漫画一起看电影

It'd be like the best relationship ever.

这算得上是世间最美妙的关系了

That does sound nice.

听起来是挺好的

Then I'd take you home slip off your little black dress

然后我送你回家脱下你的小黑裙

and just pile drive you into oblivion.

把你搞到七晕八素分不清南北

What

什么

Oh I can't believe

真不敢相信

he's going to marry the girl he cheated on me with.

他要和破坏我们感情的小三结婚了

Isn't it kind of nice

这不是挺美好的吗

I mean he was with the wrong person

他曾经爱上了错误的对象

and now he found the right person.

如今终于找到他的真爱

What so I'm the wrong person

怎么我成了错误的对象吗

Maybe you want to be with Gretchen too.

那你是不是也想和格雷琴在一起啊

They do look happy.

他们看起来挺开心的

Yeah maybe tonight.

就算是今晚开心

But a year from now he'll be

但一年以后他就会

crawling under the sink looking for his Xbox.

潜伏在水槽底下摸寻他的游戏机了

Well he will.

他肯定会的

You know what Why don't we just forget about them

算了吧何不忘掉他们

and enjoy our Valentine's Day

好好享受我们自己的情人节

Yes absolutely.

好的没问题

Now they're doing that phony

现在他们居然玩那种假到爆的

link arm drink thingy.

交杯酒把戏

I totally taught him that.

这一招还是我教他的呢

I thought we were letting it go.

我以为我们说好不管他们了

We were it's just... it's not fair okay

当然只是这太不公平了好吗

They're bad people.

他们不是什么好人

It's not supposed to end happy for them

不配拥有幸福大结局

it's supposed to end happy for me.

明明应该是我找到最后的幸福

It did end happy for you.

你已经找到你的幸福了啊

You're here with me.

你现在和我在一起

Yeah yeah I know.

是是我知道

Okay this is getting a little hard to not take personally.

你这么敷衍的样子很难不让我受伤

Oh come on don't make this about you.

得了别又扯到你身上去了

Oh I'm not. It's about you.

不是我这是你的问题

Yeah well whatever okay

随便怎么都好行吗

I told you Valentine's Day sucks.

我告诉过你情人节就没好事

This one does and you're the reason why.

这个情人节不好过而你就是罪魁祸首

What

什么

You know compared to them

和他们比起来

I'm feeling pretty good about us.

我觉得我们俩还过得挺不错的

Me too.

我也这么觉得

How about we blow off dessert go home early...

不如我们不吃甜点早点回家

I'll do that laundry.

然后我把衣服都洗了

Thank you.

谢谢你

I love you.

我爱你

Love you too.

我也爱你

So where'd you hide it

你到底把游戏机藏哪里了

Where you'd never look.

你永远想不到去看的地方

Damn it it's in the washing machine.

见鬼原来是藏在洗衣机里了

Hello.

你好

Hello.

你好

Happy Valentine's Day.

情人节快乐

Okay.

好的

Shall we go to dinner

我们去吃饭吧

Hang on.

等一下

As you know I had planned a traditional evening

你知道我原本计划了传统式的浪漫之夜

of romance and gifts.

还有互赠礼物

Yes

是的

and as you know

而你也知道

I planned to pretend to enjoy it.

我计划全程假装乐在其中

I've been working on this facial expression all day.

我已经练习这种面部表情一整天了

And I appreciate your effort

我感谢你的努力

but upon contemplation

但仔细一想

I decided I was being selfish.

我觉得自己太自私了

So I canceled our dinner reservations

所以我取消了晚餐订位

and came up with an even better way

想到了另一个更好的办法

to celebrate Valentine's Day.

来庆祝情人节

What is that

什么办法

By doing none of it

就是什么都不干

no dinner

不吃什么晚餐

no romance no gifts.

不要什么浪漫不送任何礼物

We stay here order a pizza

我们留在家里点个披萨外送

and watch one of your beloved

看一部你最爱的

Star War Trek things.

星际大战之类的片子

Really

你说真的吗

Well that's what you'd love isn't it

这才是你真心最爱的不是吗

More than anything.

胜过世上的一切

Well then...

好吧

that's what we're going to do.

那我们就这么做吧

Well... I don't know what to say.

我不知该说什么了

This is the most thoughtful gift

这可是我收到过的所有礼物中

that anyone's ever given me.

最有心的一件了

And that's including an amazing gift

比我上午送给自己的

that I gave myself earlier today.

一件超级棒的礼物还要好

I'm your girlfriend. That's my job.

我是你的女朋友这是我的责任

And I know gift giving puts a lot of pressure on you

我知道挑礼物这事总是让你倍感压力

so whatever you got me you can return.

所以不管你准备了什么给我你都可以退掉它

No.

不行

No after everything you didn't do for me tonight

不就因为今晚你什么都没为我做

I want you to have it.

我希望你收下这个礼物

What's this

这是什么

Read it.

读读看

"Sheldon Cooper

谢尔顿·库珀

Caltech University employee information"

加利福尼亚理工大学员工资料

At the bottom.

读读下面

"In case of emergency please contact...

一旦发生紧急情况请与

Amy Farrah Fowler."

艾米·菲拉·福勒联系

And there's my phone number.

还有我的电话号码

This is the most beautiful gift you could've ever given me.

这真是你给我的最美好的礼物了

Well I thought

反正我想

if I have a stroke or a kidney stone

如果我中风或者得了肾结石

who would I want to share that with

我会愿意和谁分享这件事呢

And you picked me.

而你选择了我

It's like you said

就像你刚才说的

you're my girlfriend.

你是我的女朋友

Oh Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Okay.

可以了

Stop ruining Valentine's Day and order my pizza.

别扫情人节的雅兴快给我叫披萨外送

Night. Yep.

-晚安 -好的

You know what

知道吗

That was pretty crappy of you.

你刚才真够差劲的

I mean all I wanted to do was give you a great night

我只想给你一个浪漫的情人之夜

and it's like you you went out of your way to destroy it.

而你却竭尽所能地搞破坏

Yeah I know.

没错

I'm a total bitch.

我就是一个贱人

I'm not saying that. Well I am.

-我没这么说 -我是的

Fine you win. You're a bitch.

好吧拗不过你你是贱人

Why couldn't we just have a nice time

我们为什么不能好好过一个情人节

I don't know.

我不知道

Maybe 'cause things are going so well between us lately

也许是因为最近我们进展太顺利了

and I've been really happy.

我真的很开心

Okay you're gonna have to make a lot more sense than that.

好吧你这解释让我更混乱了

Obviously I have some commitment issues.

显然我有承诺恐惧症

Glaringly obvious. Go on.

有眼睛的人都看得出来继续说

As long as things keep going great between us

只要我们继续顺利交往下去

you'll keep asking me to marry you

你会不断向我求婚

and eventually I'm gonna end up saying yes

最终我会答应

and then we're gonna be married forever

然后我们就会天长地久

and the whole thing just freaks me out.

整件事让我想起来就头皮发麻

Okay.

好吧

I know I propose a lot.

我知道我这人有喜欢求婚的毛病

So how about this

你看这样行不行

I promise I will never ask you to marry me again.

我发誓我再也不会向你求婚

What... what do you mean

你这是什么意思

Are you breaking up with me

你是要和我分手吗

No.

不

No no no no.

不是的

But if someday you decide you want to get married

但如果有一天你想结婚

you have to propose to me.

你得向我求婚

Really Yes.

-真的吗 -是的

It's all on you.

主动权在你

But I got to tell you when the time comes

不过我得提醒你真到了那个时候

I want the whole nine yards.

你一点也不能含糊

I want you down on one knee flowers.

你得给我单膝跪地满地鲜花

I want to be swept off my feet.

你得把我哄得芳心犹如小鹿乱撞

Yeah you got it.

没问题

And I'm cool with surprises.

我不反对来个惊喜

But nothing on a Jumbotron.

但千万别来个大屏幕求婚

I don't want to cry on a big screen like that.

我不想满球场的人看着我泪如雨下

Okay.

好的

You know what

知道吗

This might be the wine talking

可能酒劲上来了

but I have a very important question to ask you.

我有个非常重要的问题问你

You do

是吗

Leonard Hofstadter...

莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德

Yes

什么事

...will you be my valentine

你愿做我今夜的情人吗

Sorry. Maybe next year.

抱歉咱们明年再说吧

I'm just kidding

开个玩笑

Romance ninja. Let's have sex

浪漫忍者杀到咱上床去吧

Thank you guys for doing this.

多谢你们办这场派对

We're glad you could make it.

很高兴你能来

Usually I spend Valentine's Day sad and alone.

通常我在情人节这天是悲伤寂寞的

This year I'm just sad.

今年我只是悲伤而已

What is it about this holiday that makes people so unhappy

你说这个节日怎么就令大家这么不开心呢

I know.

就是说啊

I hate myself most of the time

大多数时候我都挺讨厌自己的

but tonight's the night I know everyone else does too.

但今晚我知道其他人也好不到哪里去

I think you're cool.

我觉得你挺酷的

Great.

多谢你看得起

I got to tell you

我跟你们说

we've got to stop beating ourselves up like this.

我们不能再这样自我折磨了

Excuse me everybody.

各位不好意思

Can I have your attention please

请大家听我说几句

We're all here tonight because...

今晚我们齐聚一堂是因为

we have no one to be with.

我们没有另一半相陪

But... that doesn't make us mutants.

但这样并不代表我们是异种

The only mutants here are in these comic books.

这里真正的异种全在漫画书里

We've got to stop defining our self worth

我们不能再以是否有恋爱对象

by whether or not we're in a relationship.

来定义我们的自我价值

You know what I see when I look around

知道我放眼过去看到什么吗

I see a room full of great people.

我看到一屋子了不起的人

So let's give ourselves a break.

我们别再跟自己过不去了

We are a community

我们是一个联盟

and as long as we have each other

只要我们团结在一起

we're never truly alone.

我们就不是寂寞的

That was cool.

真是不错

What you said.

你说的那些话

You really think so

你真这样想吗

Yeah I do.

是的

Thank you.

谢谢

Would you like to uh...

你想不想

get a cup... A cup of coffee or...

去喝杯咖啡

Okay.

好的

Later losers

哥先走一步了废柴联盟

Hello

喂

Another medical emergency

又是急诊

What's wrong with him now

这次他又怎么了

I seriously doubt he was bitten by a Chinese bird spider.

我严重怀疑他是不是真被虎纹捕鸟蛛咬了

直译名为中国鸟蜘蛛

How exactly does a bump feel Asian

一个肿块怎么可能有亚洲感

Just put him on the phone.

让他接电话

Sheldon I am not driving over there again.

谢尔顿我不会再开车过去了

Because I drove over there yesterday

因为我昨天开车去了

for a brain tumor that turned out to be

你说得了脑瘤结果却是

an ice cream headache.

冰淇淋吃快了导致头痛

Yes I still want to be your emergency contact.

是的我依然想做你的紧急联系人

Yes you can eat your ice cream too fast

是的你可以吃冰淇淋吃得过快

and also have a brain tumor.

同时又有脑瘤

I'm on my way.

我马上来

Brain tumor would explain a lot.

真是脑瘤很多事情就说得通了

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