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I
wish
you
could
all
be
inside
my
head.
真希望你们能听到我的心声
The
conversation
is
sparkling.
我脑中的对白简直是精彩纷呈
Fine
I'll
tell
you.
还是跟你们分享一下吧
A
lichen
is
an
organism
made
up
of
two
separate
species
地衣是由菌类和藻类 这两不同的物种
fungi
and
algae.
组成的复合有机体
If
you
could
merge
with
another
species
如果你能跟别的物种结合
what
species
would
you
pick
and
why
你会选哪种 原因是什么
Hint
There
is
a
right
answer.
提示 有正确答案的哦
None
of
you
will
get
it.
你们肯定都猜不到
Okay
I'd
pick
swan
because
好吧 我会选天鹅
uh
the
resulting
hybrid
would
have
因为半人半天鹅
the
advanced
industrial
civilization
of
a
human
既能享受人类先进的工业文明
and
the
long
graceful
neck
I've
always
dreamed
of
having.
又能拥有我一直梦寐以求的优雅长颈
Wrong.
Leonard
错 莱纳德
Horse
but
mostly
just
for
the
height.
我选马 主要是因为马比较高
A
little
bit
for
the
genital
girth.
其次是因为生殖器比较大
Wrong
and
let's
keep
it
clean
shall
we
错 能让这话题保持点格调吗
Kangaroo
uh
我选袋鼠
I'd
be
Kanga
Jew.
这样我就成了"犹袋鼠"
The
first
of
my
people
to
dunk
a
basketball.
我将会是第一个能灌篮的犹太人
Also
instead
of
just
living
in
your
mother's
house
还不用住在你妈妈的房子里
you
could
actually
live
inside
her
body.
因为你可以直接住在她的袋子里
Clever
but
also
wrong.
挺妙的 但还是错
No
the
best
organism
for
human
beings
to
merge
with
人类最应该与之相结合的有机体
is
the
lichen
itself.
是地衣本身
That
way
you'd
be
human
fungus
and
algae.
这样 你既是人类 也是菌类和藻类
Triple
threat.
三面手哦
Like
three
bean
salad.
像三豆沙拉一样
Give
me
one
circumstance
in
which
that
would
be
useful.
给我举个例子 证明这三面手有用武之地
All
right
picture
this
没问题 试想一下
a
beautiful
outdoor
concert.
一场高雅的户外音乐会
Now
as
a
human
I
appreciate
Beethoven.
作为人类 我能够欣赏贝多芬的音乐
As
a
fungus
I
have
a
terrific
view
作为菌类 我能够沿着耸立的枫树生长
growing
out
of
a
towering
maple
tree.
以获得最棒的视野
And
no
thank
you
expensive
concessions.
我也无需花钱买高昂的酒水
Because
as
an
algae
I'll
just
snack
on
this
sunlight.
因为作为藻类 我以光合作用维生
He
got
us
again.
No
he
didn't.
-他又赢了 -才不是
Anyway
if
it's
okay
with
you
无论怎样 如果你不介意
we
should
talk
about
Howard's
bachelor
party.
我们该讨论一下霍华德的单身派对了
Seems
like
a
bit
of
a
letdown
我刚发表完关于地衣的大论
after
our
lichen
conversation
but...
你换谈这个 层次低好多啊 但...
what
do
you
know
you're
half
swan.
我也不苛责了 毕竟你是半人半天鹅嘛
I've
been
doing
some
research
on
strippers.
我研究了一下脱衣舞女
One
agency
I
spoke
to
said
I
could
get
us
a
great
price
其中一家说 如果不在乎表演者
if
we're
flexible
on
age
range
and
number
of
limbs.
岁数与是否残疾 价钱绝对包君满意
Sounds
like
loads
of
fun
感觉挺有意思啊
but
I
promised
Bernadette
no
strippers.
可我已答应伯纳黛特 不找脱衣舞女了
You
don't
want
strippers
你居然不想找脱衣舞女
You're
the
king
of
strippers.
装什么啊 你可是脱衣舞之王啊
The
one
club
in
North
Hollywood
北好莱坞的一家脱衣舞俱乐部
named
a
pole
after
you.
还用你的名字命名了一根钢管呢
What
can
I
tell
ya
I'm
not
into
that
stuff
anymore.
怎么说呢 我对那玩意已经不感兴趣了
Good
for
you
Howard.
I'm
proud
of
you.
不错啊 霍华德 真为你自豪
And
still
you're
the
first
one
of
use
to
get
married.
可你是我们几人中第一个结婚的
We
have
to
do
something
special.
总得干点特别的事吧
You
know
Germans
have
an
interesting
pre
wedding
custom
知道吗 德国人有个有趣的婚前习俗...
Well
it's
probably
not
for
me.
估计不太适合我吧
Maybe
we
can
go
up
to
Napa
Valley.
去纳帕谷怎么样
They've
got
that
wine
train.
那里有品酒列车
Boo
wine
酒 坏东西
But
yay
trains.
I'm
in.
火车 好东西 我要加入
Anyway
it's
a
beautiful
time
of
year.
现在这个时节 那里的景色很美
Uh
you
travel
through
the
vineyards.
穿行于葡萄园中
There's
a
tasting
on
board.
火车上溢满葡萄酒的香气
And
all
the
wildflowers
are
in
bloom.
漫山遍野的花朵争奇斗妍
Magic.
简直是仙境
Look
at
that
in
30
seconds
看啊 才过了三十秒
we
went
from
hiring
women
to
being
them.
咱们从"玩女人"变"当女人"
By
aBu
201705
生活大爆炸 第五季 第二十二集
So
I
hear
you
and
the
lost
boys
听说你们几个
are
having
a
bachelor
party
tonight.
今晚要开个单身派对呢
Yeah
just
going
to
a
restaurant
是啊 就是去餐馆
get
some
steaks
and
scotch.
吃吃牛排 喝喝威士忌
Nothing
to
worry
about.
Why
should
I
worry
-你不用担心 -我有什么好担心的
Well
I
don't
know.
It's
a
bachelor
party.
始终是个单身派对嘛
There
could
be
strippers.
兴许我们会找脱衣舞女来呢
Wouldn't
that
make
you
a
little
jealous
你难道就一点都不吃醋吗
Oh
come
on
Leonard
it's
you.
What's
going
to
happen
拜托 莱纳德 我对你放心都很
I
mean
even
if
there
was
a
stripper
即使真的有脱衣舞女
all
you'd
do
is
avoid
eye
contact
你也不敢跟人有眼神接触
and
maybe
offer
to
help
her
kid
with
his
homework.
没准还会主动提出辅导她孩子功课呢
Hey
I
am
a
young
man
in
his
sexual
prime.
拜托 我很年轻 欲火如日中天
Under
the
right
conditions
I
I
I
am
capable
of
just
天时地利人和具备 我也是能做出...
really
crazy
stuff.
非常疯狂的事情的呢
Really
What
is
the
craziest
thing
是吗 那说说你与女人做过
you've
ever
done
with
a
woman
最最疯狂的事情是什么
And
the
time
you
and
I
had
sex
in
the
ocean
does
not
count.
你我于海中"翻江倒海"的那次可不算
Oh
come
on.
That's
got
to
count.
别这样啊 那必须得算
There
was
a
really
strong
undertow
we
could
have
died.
那天激流暗涌 我们可能随时葬身海底
Well
have
fun
tonight.
祝你今晚玩得痛快啊
Oh
I
will.
放心吧 我会的
There
is
no
telling
what
might
happen.
会发生什么事 我可不保证哦
Yeah
there
is.
绝对没事
You
know
there's
nothing
wrong
helping
some
woman's
kid
帮特殊职业的女人辅导孩子过高考
get
through
their
S.A.T.'s.
也没什么不对吧
Hey
I
got
to
hand
it
to
Raj
我得好好夸夸拉杰
he
found
a
really
nice
spot
to
have
a
bachelor
party.
他找的餐馆还挺适合开单身派对呢
It's
not
bad.
的确不赖
Unless
you
compare
it
to
a
train
then
it
stinks.
但一与火车相比 这地方就相形见绌了
Are
you
drinking
whiskey
你在喝威士忌吗
Indeed.
没错
If
I'm
to
participate
in
the
social
convention
如果我要参与进这种社会习俗
that
is
the
stag
night
也就是这个单身派对
then
I
must
embrace
all
its
components
我就得接受所有的东西
including
tobacco
swear
words
包括香烟 脏话
and
yes
alcohol.
当然还有酒
Jeepers
That's
yucky.
亲娘咧 太难喝了
Whoa
it's
a
little
early
to
start
活动才刚开始
dropping
J
bombs
don't
you
think
就把亲娘挂嘴边骂 太快了吧
Hey
you
guys.
Oh
hey
Wil.
-你们好呀 -你好呀 威尔
Nice
of
you
to
make
it
out
tonight
for
Howard.
谢谢能来参加霍华德的派对
Well
it
was
either
this
or
another
如果我不来这儿
《星际迷航》中苏鲁田光的扮演者
hot
tub
party
at
George
Takei's
house.
就得去乔治·竹井家参加泡澡派对了
I'm
confused.
我不太明白
I
thought
since
our
reconciliation
我以为自从我们和解之后
I
was
your
friend
in
this
group.
这帮人里只有我才是你的朋友
Oh
I'm
friends
with
Howard
too.
霍华德也是我的朋友
I
guess
you're
just
friends
with
anybody.
原来你只求数量 不求质量
Hey
uh
Leonard...
莱纳德
things
are
a
little
tight
at
the
comic
book
store.
最近漫画书店的生意不太好
I
might
need
some
help
covering
my
share
of
the
check.
我可能需要你先帮我垫餐钱
Oh
yeah
no
worries.
没问题
And
maybe
a
few
bucks
for
the
valet.
还有给服务员的小费
Oh
all
right.
可以
And
gas
money
to
get
home.
还有回家的油钱
Yeah
sure.
Great.
-当然 -太好了
You
know
what
This
is
my
grandfather's
watch.
你知道吗 这是我爷爷的手表
18
carat
gold
got
it
in
Europe
during
the
war.
18K金的 战争时期从欧洲弄来的
Wow
that's
very
nice.
Mm
hmm.
不错 挺好看的
100
bucks
and
it's
yours.
一百块卖给你
Hey
everybody
各位
The
bachelor
boy
has
arrived
派对主角来了
For
he's
a
jolly
good
fellow
他是个快乐的好小伙
For
he's
a
jolly
good
fellow
他是个快乐的好小伙
For
he's
a
jolly
good
fellow
他是个快乐的好小伙
Which
nobody
can
deny
大家都说他是好小伙
Yes
yes
yes.
He's
a
jolly
good
fellow.
没错没错 他个快乐的好小伙
What
time
do
the
strippers
arrive
请问脱衣舞女什么时候来
Actually
Barry
we're
not
going
to
have
strippers
tonight.
巴里 我们今晚没请脱衣舞女
Ah
then
what
the
frig
did
I
get
200
dollars
in
singles
out
for
那我找了两百块散钱搞毛啊
You
want
to
buy
a
watch
你想买手表吗
This
is
Maid
of
Honor
Amy
Farrah
Fowler
首席伴娘艾米·菲拉·福勒
bringing
you
the
wedding
activities
为你带来大喜之日
just
weeks
out
from
the
big
day.
前几周的婚礼活动
Let's
check
in
with
a
beautiful
radiant
young
woman
看看这位年轻漂亮 容光焕发的美女
and
her
friend
who's
about
to
get
married.
旁边那边 则是她的准新娘朋友
Ladies
can
you
tell
us
what
you're
doing
美女们 能说说你们在做什么吗
Um
these
are
gift
bags
这些是礼品袋
we're
going
to
put
in
the
hotel
rooms
of
our
out
of
town
guests.
我们准备把它们放到外地宾客的房间里
This
is
a
map
of
Pasadena.
这是一张帕萨迪纳的地图
This
is
a
list
of
local
restaurants.
这是一张本地餐馆的清单
And
then
for
Howie's
relatives
还有给霍华德亲戚准备的
we
have
antihistamines
antacids
抗组织胺剂[抗过敏] 抗酸剂[胃药]
and
medicine
for
diarrhea
and
constipation.
还有治腹泻和便秘的药
Yeah
we
labeled
them
"stop
and
go."
我们在上面贴了"泻停封"和"泄挺疯"
All
right
pivoting
to
the
big
question
好的 转到主要问题上
Bernadette
on
your
wedding
night
伯纳黛特 洞房花烛夜
you'll
be
consummating
your
marriage.
你们将正式圆房
What
do
you
think
your
first
sexual
position
will
be
新婚小夫妻打算采用哪种
as
husband
and
wife
性交体位呢
Amy
please.
艾米 拜托
Keeping
in
mind
that
whoever's
on
top
记住 谁在上
may
set
the
tone
for
the
marriage.
谁就掌握婚姻大权哦
Okay
show's
over.
好了 别拍了
Hey
they
may
conceive
a
child
on
their
wedding
night.
他们说不定能在新婚之夜怀上孩子呢
Don't
you
think
the
kid
might
get
a
kick
你不觉得孩子将来看到这个
out
of
knowing
how
it
happened
会很高兴吗
I
don't
care.
我不管
Ask
her
things
like
"Are
you
going
to
take
Howard's
name
"
你应该问"会不会从霍华德的姓"这类问题
Not
"Who's
going
to
sit
on
who."
而不是"谁会骑在谁的上面"
I've
actually
been
thinking
I'm
going
to
hyphenate
我其实想过用连字符把两个姓串起来
Bernadette
Maryann
Rostenkowski
Wolowitz.
伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯滕科斯基-沃罗威茨
Nice.
不错
You
know
you
should
totally
get
你应该去注册一个
Bernadette
Maryann
Rostenkowski
Wolowitz.com
伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯滕科斯基-沃罗威茨网站
before
someone
snaps
it
up.
以免被别人抢先注册
Howard
already
took
care
of
it.
霍华德已经注册了
Plus
he
set
up
our
beautiful
wedding
Web
site
而且 他还建了个很漂亮的婚礼网站
with
cute
little
facts
about
our
family
histories.
上面有我们两家家族史的小故事
Do
you
know
for
a
while
in
Poland
你知道吗 在波兰有一段时间
my
family
and
his
family
were
neighbors.
我们两家还是邻居
Oh
that's
cool.
那太好了
No
it's
not.
I'll
explain
it
to
you
later.
一点也不好 我以后再跟你解释
May
I
have
your
attention
please
请大家听我说两句
We
are
here
tonight
to
celebrate
the
upcoming
nuptials
我们今晚齐聚一堂 庆祝我死党霍华德
of
my
best
friend
Howard
Wolowitz.
即将步入婚姻的殿堂
Hear
Hear
干杯 干杯
And
apparently
Wil
Wheaton's
best
friend.
显然他是威尔·惠顿的死党呢
Sheldon...
谢尔顿
Talk
to
the
hand.
懒得鸟你
Does
anyone
have
any
words
有没有人想对
they'd
like
to
say
about
our
man
of
the
evening
今晚的主人公说几句
I
do.
我来
As
is
the
tradition
按照传统习惯
I
have
prepared
a
series
of
disrespectful
jokes
我准备了一些无礼的笑话
which
generate
humor
at
Howard's
expense.
来取笑霍华德 娱乐大众
Prepare
to
have
your
ribs
tickled...
准备笑到肚子疼吧
Howard...
霍华德
I
always
thought
you'd
be
the
last
one
of
us
to
ever
get
married
我一直以为你会是我们当中最后结婚的人
because
you
are
so
short
and
unappealing.
因为你四肢短小 其貌不扬
Am
I
right
我说的对吧
Let's
see
here.
看看下面这个
Oh
seriously
though
Howard
不过话说回来 霍华德
you're
actually
one
of
the
most
intelligent
people
I
know.
你其实是我认识的最聪明的人之一
And
that's
a
zinger
because
you're
not.
这是笑点 因为你不是
I've
always
thought
that
you'd
make
我一直以为 总有一天
someone
a
fine
husband
someday.
你会"做"个好丈夫
Assuming
you'd
be
able
to
get
the
parts
前提是你能找齐零件
and
develop
the
engineering
skills
并拥有足够的工程技术
to
assemble
them
which
I
don't
see
as
likely.
能把自己组装成好丈夫 不过应该是没戏吧
Hacha
好笑吧
Okay...
Let
me
see
here.
好 再看看这个
Okay
kidding
aside
好了 不说笑了
Howard
you
are
a
good
friend.
霍华德 你是一个益友
And
I
wish
you
nothing
but
happiness.
我希望你幸福美满
Bazinga
I
don't
逗你玩 我才不呢
Sheldon...
Double
bazinga
I
do
-谢尔顿 -还是逗你玩 我希望你好
Good
luck
following
that.
要跟上哥的思维 你得加油啊
So
Howard
Wolowitz
tying
the
knot.
霍华德·沃罗威茨要结婚了
Leaving
his
crazy
bachelor
days
behind.
要将疯狂的单身生活抛诸脑后
He
was
a
wild
one.
他是个疯狂的人
Well
I
guess
we
all
kind
of
were.
不过 我们又何尝不是呢
I
remember
this
one
time
我记得有一次
I
was
with
this
girl
at
the
beach.
我和一个姑娘去了海边
We
were
in
the
ocean
and
we
started
making
out.
我们在海水里 然后开始亲热
I
know
it
was
crazy.
我知道这挺疯狂的
I
wasn't
even
wearing
my
Aquasocks.
我连耐克户外鞋都没穿呢
Then...
接下来
Nobody
cares
Hofstadter.
没人想听 霍夫斯塔德
Wrap
it
up.
总结陈词吧
Right.
好吧
To
Howard.
敬霍华德
To
Howard.
敬霍华德
I
totally
had
sex
in
the
ocean.
哥绝对"翻江倒海"过
Okay
I'll
go.
好吧 我来说几句吧
Howard
when
I
think
about
you
and
Bernadette
霍华德 当我想到你和伯纳黛特
starting
this
wonderful
life
together
马上要开始共筑美好人生时
I
can't
help
but
get
a
little
choked
up.
我就情不自禁地想哭
I
mean...
我是说
look
at
you.
你看看你
You
have
everything.
坐拥一切
Look
at
me.
你再看看我
I'm
37.
我都三十七岁了
I
sleep
in
the
back
of
a
comic
book
store
还住在漫画书店的后面
and
I
have
the
bone
density
of
an
80
year
old
man.
而且我的骨密度 堪比八十岁的老头
To
Howard.
敬霍华德
To
Howard.
敬霍华德
Um
uh
who's
next
I'll
go.
-谁是下一个 -我来
Howard
I'm
gonna
say
something
to
you
that
everybody's
thinking
霍华德 我要说几句大家心里有胆想
but
no
one
has
the
courage
to
say
out
loud.
却没胆说出来的话
When
you
invite
a
man
to
a
bachelor
party
当你邀请一个男人参加单身派对时
the
implication
is
there
will
be
strippers.
潜台词就是 现场会有脱衣舞女
Maybe
not
completely
nude
或许不是一丝不挂
but
at
least
pasties
and
G
strings.
但至少得看见小内内或丁字裤吧
That's
not
unreasonable.
这要求相当合理
Hear
hear.
Hear
hear.
-说得好 说得好 -说得好 说得好
Okay
uh
anybody
else
好了 还有谁要说两句吗
Huh
No
没了吗
Okay
it
all
comes
down
to
me
the
best
man.
好吧 那就由我这个伴郎来压轴吧
Ooh
This
grasshopper
is
kicking
my
ass
hopper.
这杯开胃酒把人家喝得"性致"大开哟
Okay
okay
when
I
first
came
to
this
country
言归正传 当我第一次来到这个国家时
I
I
didn't
know
how
to
behave
or
how
to
dress
我不懂如何待人处事 也不懂如何穿衣打扮
or
what
was
cool...I
was
pretty
lonely.
更不知道什么才叫做酷 人家那时候很寂寞
But
then
I
met
Howard
可当我遇到霍华德之后
and
suddenly
my
life
changed
突然间 我的人生就此改变
because
we
could
be
lonely
together.
因为有人陪我一起寂寞
This
man
became
my
whole
world.
这个男人变成了我的全世界
Yeah
nice
speech
Francine.
说得好 小美人
I'm
not
done
but
thank
you.
我还没说完呢 不过谢谢
I
think
back....
我回想起...
...to
all
the
good
times
we
had
like
uh
我们曾共度的美好时光
when
we
went
camping
and
spent
that
night
比如说 我们那次去露营
telling
each
other
all
our
secrets.
彻夜不睡 分享彼此的小秘密
I
told
him
I'm
addicted
to
pedicures
我告诉他 我很爱修脚
and
he
told
me
he
lost
his
virginity
to
his
cousin.
而他告诉我 他的初夜给了他的表姐
She
was
my
second
cousin.
那是我的远房表姐
And
the
first
woman
you
ever
disappointed
sexually.
也是你第一个让人"不满足"的性伴侣
Ba
da
bazinga
逗你玩呀 逗你玩
Oh...oh
yeah
and
then
there
was
the
time
没错 还有一次
when
Leonard
and
I
took
Howard
to
Las
Vegas
我和莱纳德带霍华德去拉斯维加斯
and
paid
a
hooker
to
pretend
she
was
Jewish
我们雇了个妓女 让她假扮成犹太人
and
that
she
wanted
his
little
kosher
pickle.
然后勾搭他 说想吃他的犹太"小黄瓜"
Of
all
the
"Howard
humping
hookers"
stories
在所有的"霍华德搞妓女"的故事中
that
one's
my
favorite
我最爱的就是这个了
Okay
buddy
that's
it.
Sit
down.
好了 兄弟 够了 坐下吧
Oh
oh
what
about
that
tubby
girl
还有那个在动漫节上
in
the
Sailor
Moon
costume
at
Comic
con
扮成美少女战士的胖妞
Don't
remember.
Please
sit
down.
不记得了 坐下吧
The
only
threesome
I've
ever
had
in
my
life
那是我这辈子唯一一次3P经历
and
I'm
proud
to
say
it
was
with
this
man
right
here.
而且我很自豪地说 就是跟这边这位男人一起干的
Oh
please
shut
up.
我求求你闭嘴吧
Oh
oh
don't
get
me
wrong
千万别误会
nothing
happened
with
me
and
Howard.
我和霍华德之间什么也没发生
There
was
about
200
pounds
of
Sailor
Moon
between
us.
我俩中间还夹了两百磅的美胖女战士呢
Oh
Internet
this
is
so
going
all
over
you.
这段子绝对要在网上红爆了
Jeepers
I'm
drunk.
亲娘咧 我喝高了
Thank
you
for
picking
us
up.
谢谢你来接我们
There's
a
warning
right
there
on
the
scotch
bottle.
威士忌瓶子上还贴着一条警示标语呢
You
cannot
be
operatin'
heavy
machinery
老弟 一杯下肚之后
after
you
had
a
snootful
of
this
laddie
绝对不可以操作重型机械哦[苏格兰口音]
Funny.
好好笑
You
boys
have
a
nice
time
你们几个玩得开心吗
Yeah
it
was
great.
还不错吧
Low
key
like
I
promised.
如我保证般 十分低调
No
hanky
panky
no
strippers.
没有乱来 没有脱衣舞女
Just
the
guys
telling
jokes.
只是一堆男人讲讲笑话而已
That's
nice.
不错啊
How
about
you
Did
you
have
a
fun
night
你呢 你今晚玩得开心吗
Yeah
we
uh
made
gift
bags
had
wine
不错 我们包了一下礼物 喝了点红酒
and
then
went
online
and
saw
this.
然后上网看到了这个
Of
all
the
"Howard
humping
hookers"
stories
在所有的"霍华德搞妓女"的故事中
that
one's
my
favorite.
我最爱的就是这段了
You
know
we're
not
that
far
from
my
apartment.
其实这离我家已经不远了
If
you
stop
the
car
I
can
walk
from
here.
你可以把我放下来 让我自己走回去吧
You
ain't
goin'
anywhere
Threeway.
你哪也别想去 3P男
Bernadette
listen...
You
lied
to
me.
-伯纳黛特 听着 -你骗了我
You
said
you
told
me
about
all
the
girls
you've
been
with
你说你向我坦白了你所有的女人
but
you
never
mentioned
your
cousin
可你从未提过你还睡过你的表姐
the
prostitute
or
Raj
妓女 还有拉杰
Seriously
you
don't
even
have
to
stop
the
car.
说真的 你都用不着停车
Anything
under
ten
miles
an
hour
只要车速不超过每小时十英里
and
I
can
combat
roll
into
the
street.
我就能安全跳下车
Okay
just
to
set
the
record
straight
好吧 我要澄清一下
I
didn't
hire
the
prostitute
she
was
a
gift
from
him.
妓女不是我雇的 那是他送我的礼物
Shame
on
you
Raj.
你真不知廉耻 拉杰
That
is
not
how
we
treat
women
in
this
country.
在美国 你可不能这样对待女人
Don't
you
try
and
blame
this
on
him.
你少把一切都推到他头上
Thank
you
Bernadette.
Zip
it
pervert
-谢谢你 伯纳黛特 -闭嘴吧 变态
I
don't
know
what
I'm
going
to
do.
我不知道我该怎么办
I'm
supposed
to
marry
Howard
in
a
couple
weeks
再过两个礼拜我就要嫁给霍华德了
and
I'm
not
sure
I
even
know
who
the
man
is
anymore.
可我不确定我是否还对这男人了若指掌
I'm
curious
what's
bothering
you
most
我很好奇你最郁闷的是哪件
the
borderline
incest
the
prostitute
近亲乱伦 招妓
or
group
sex
with
the
girl
dressed
as
the
children's
cartoon
还是跟穿得像儿童卡通的女孩玩3P
Amy
remember
when
we
went
over
things
艾米 还记得我教过你
that
would
be
helpful
and
things
that
wouldn't
什么话该说 什么话不该说吗
Right.
记得
And
that
was...
Not.
-那我刚才说的话... -不该说
When
I
first
met
Howard
he
seemed
so
innocent
to
me
我初识霍华德时 觉得他很纯良
just
a
sweet
little
guy
who
lives
with
his
mother.
只是个跟妈妈同住的善良小伙
Well
if
that's
what
you
like
你要是喜欢这样的男生
I'll
take
you
to
the
comic
book
store
我可以带你去漫画书店
the
place
is
full
of
'em.
那里都是这样的小伙
Wait
a
minute.
等下
You
set
me
up
with
Howard.
是你撮合我和霍德华的
Did
you
know
about
all
the
creepy
stuff
he
was
into
你当时就知道他做的全部恶心事吗
Well
a
little.
You
hear
stuff...
一点点吧 道听途说而已
Why
didn't
you
tell
me
你为什么不告诉我
Well
I
was
gonna
but
I
didn't
think
我想告诉你的 但我觉得
it
would
go
past
the
first
date.
你们肯定撑不过第一次约会
Then
when
it
did
I
thought
for
sure
撑过之后 我又觉得
it
wouldn't
go
past
you
meeting
his
mother.
等见完她妈妈 你们俩也该分手了吧
Definitely
not
past
the
two
of
you
sleeping
together.
最迟等到滚过床单后 也肯定该分了
I
mean
the
warning
signs
were
there
处处都是警告信号
this
is
really
on
you.
要怪也只能怪你
God
老天啊
I
thought
you
were
my
friend.
亏我还把你当朋友
I
don't
think
that
was
helpful.
你刚说的 也是不该讲的吧
Hi
Bernie
it's
me
again.
小妮妮 还是我
Please
call
me
back.
请给我回电
Dude
I
am
so
sorry.
兄弟 我太对不起你了
It's
not
your
fault
it's
mine.
这不是你的错 是我的
I
did
all
that
stuff
not
you.
事都是我干的 不是你
Actually
you
did
do
one
of
them
together.
事实上 有一件倒是你们俩一起"干"的
Here.
给
What
is
this
这是什么
You're
upset.
你很低落
The
convention
is
to
bring
an
upset
person
a
hot
beverage.
按我的习惯 要给伤心人一杯热饮
No
but
what
is
it
不是 我是说这是什么热饮
Chicken
broth.
鸡汤
It
seemed
culturally
appropriate.
犹太人也都爱喝鸡汤嘛
Also
there
was
a
single
cube
of
chicken
bouillon
而且 这一整块鸡精块
in
the
cupboard
when
I
moved
in
从我刚搬进来就在那橱柜里了
and
it's
been
bothering
me
for
the
last
eight
years...
这事困扰了我八年之久
So
as
they
say
two
birds.
正所谓 一石二鸟嘛
I
don't
know
what
my
next
move
is.
我不知道接下来该怎么做了
Well
Howard
I
don't
know
much
about
women...
霍华德 我不大了解女人
Yeah
No
uh
that
that's
it.
-然后呢 -没了 就这句话
I
don't
know
much
about
women.
我不大了解女人
Raj
you
got
anything
拉杰 你有建议吗
I've
got
the
phone
number
of
the
tubby
girl
from
Comic
Con.
我有漫画展上那个胖妞的电话号码
I'm
not
calling
the
girl
from
Comic
con.
我才不打给漫画展认识的妞
All
right.
好吧
More
Sailor
Moon
for
me.
那美胖女战士 我独享咯
I
just
threw
up
the
bachelor
party.
我把单身派对吐光光了
求你出来吧 伯纳黛特
Let's
talk
through
this.
我们来谈谈
No
leave
me
alone.
不要 别理我
Perhaps
you
should
give
him
a
taste
of
his
own
medicine.
或许你该以其人之道还治其人之身
Do
you
have
a
cousin
who
you
find
attractive
你有没有特别迷人的表兄弟
Amy.
艾米
Hey
you
introduced
her
to
the
sleazebag.
是你把那个下流胚子介绍给她的
I'm
just
trying
to
clean
up
your
mess.
我只是帮你收拾烂摊子
I
need
to
talk
to
Bernadette.
我想找伯纳黛特谈谈
Well
I
don't
think
she
wants
to
talk
to
anyone
right
now.
她现在估计不想跟任何人谈吧
All
right
well
could
you
at
least
give
her
a
message
好吧 能请你至少帮我转告她吗
Yeah
sure
I
guess.
当然
Tell
her
I'm
really
sorry.
告诉她我真的很抱歉
And
if
she
doesn't
want
to
marry
me
I
get
it.
如果她不想嫁给我了 我能理解
But
what
I
really
want
her
to
know
但我真的想让她明白
is
the
guy
that
she's
disgusted
by
她所厌恶的那个我
is
the
guy
that
I'm
disgusted
by
too.
也是我所厌恶的
But
that
guy
doesn't
exist
anymore
he's
gone.
但昨日种种譬如昨日死
And
the
reason
is
because
of
her.
正是因为她 我才改过自新
So
if
this
relationship
is
over
如果她要跟我分手
let
her
know
that
she
made
me
a
better
man
请帮我告诉她 是她让我成为更好的男人(重获新生)
and
tell
her
thank
you.
帮我谢谢她
Oh
my
God
Howard.
天啊 霍华德
That's
the
most
beautiful
thing
I've
ever
heard.
那是我听过最动人的话语
And
it
came
out
of
you.
而且还是你这货讲出口的
Howie
华仔
Penny
has
a
message
for
you.
佩妮有话要转告你
I
heard.
我都听到了
Your
voice
not
unlike
your
mother's
你的声音跟你妈的一样
travels
through
walls.
穿墙入耳
Do
you
want
me
to
go
需要我离开吗
No.
不
Come
here.
过来
I'm
still
really
mad
at
you.
我还在很气你呢
I
get
that.
我明白
Is
there
anything
else
about
your
past
I
should
know
你的过去 还有什么是我该知道的吗
Couple
things
but
you
know
most
of
them
happened
overseas.
还有几件吧 但大多数都发生在海外
I'll
tell
you
later.
我之后再告诉你
Okay.
好吧
So
is
the
wedding
still
on
婚礼还继续吗
Yeah
the
wedding's
still
on.
好啦 婚礼继续
Oh
thank
God.
感谢老天
I'm
still
a
maid
of
honor
我还可以当伴娘
Oh
what
the
hell.
管他呢
This
is
kind
of
hot.
这场面好热辣啊
What's
with
the
robe
你怎么穿着睡袍啊
I'm
gonna
have
sex
with
you
right
here
我要在此时此地
right
now
on
that
washing
machine.
与你 在那台洗衣机上翻云覆雨
No
you're
not.
没门
Come
on
please.
来吧 求你
If
you
want
to
do
something
你真想做什么的话
you
can
help
me
fold
this
sheet.
帮我一起叠床单吧
Folding
a
sheet
in
my
underwear
still
pretty
crazy.
穿着内裤叠床单 还是很疯狂
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