生活大爆炸-S05E22_生活大爆炸

S01

I wish you could all be inside my head.

真希望你们能听到我的心声

The conversation is sparkling.

我脑中的对白简直是精彩纷呈

Fine I'll tell you.

还是跟你们分享一下吧

A lichen is an organism made up of two separate species

地衣是由菌类和藻类这两不同的物种

fungi and algae.

组成的复合有机体

If you could merge with another species

如果你能跟别的物种结合

what species would you pick and why

你会选哪种原因是什么

Hint There is a right answer.

提示有正确答案的哦

None of you will get it.

你们肯定都猜不到

Okay I'd pick swan because

好吧我会选天鹅

uh the resulting hybrid would have

因为半人半天鹅

the advanced industrial civilization of a human

既能享受人类先进的工业文明

and the long graceful neck I've always dreamed of having.

又能拥有我一直梦寐以求的优雅长颈

Wrong. Leonard

错莱纳德

Horse but mostly just for the height.

我选马主要是因为马比较高

A little bit for the genital girth.

其次是因为生殖器比较大

Wrong and let's keep it clean shall we

错能让这话题保持点格调吗

Kangaroo uh

我选袋鼠

I'd be Kanga Jew.

这样我就成了"犹袋鼠"

The first of my people to dunk a basketball.

我将会是第一个能灌篮的犹太人

Also instead of just living in your mother's house

还不用住在你妈妈的房子里

you could actually live inside her body.

因为你可以直接住在她的袋子里

Clever but also wrong.

挺妙的但还是错

No the best organism for human beings to merge with

人类最应该与之相结合的有机体

is the lichen itself.

是地衣本身

That way you'd be human fungus and algae.

这样你既是人类也是菌类和藻类

Triple threat.

三面手哦

Like three bean salad.

像三豆沙拉一样

Give me one circumstance in which that would be useful.

给我举个例子证明这三面手有用武之地

All right picture this

没问题试想一下

a beautiful outdoor concert.

一场高雅的户外音乐会

Now as a human I appreciate Beethoven.

作为人类我能够欣赏贝多芬的音乐

As a fungus I have a terrific view

作为菌类我能够沿着耸立的枫树生长

growing out of a towering maple tree.

以获得最棒的视野

And no thank you expensive concessions.

我也无需花钱买高昂的酒水

Because as an algae I'll just snack on this sunlight.

因为作为藻类我以光合作用维生

He got us again. No he didn't.

-他又赢了 -才不是

Anyway if it's okay with you

无论怎样如果你不介意

we should talk about Howard's bachelor party.

我们该讨论一下霍华德的单身派对了

Seems like a bit of a letdown

我刚发表完关于地衣的大论

after our lichen conversation but...

你换谈这个层次低好多啊但...

what do you know you're half swan.

我也不苛责了毕竟你是半人半天鹅嘛

I've been doing some research on strippers.

我研究了一下脱衣舞女

One agency I spoke to said I could get us a great price

其中一家说如果不在乎表演者

if we're flexible on age range and number of limbs.

岁数与是否残疾价钱绝对包君满意

Sounds like loads of fun

感觉挺有意思啊

but I promised Bernadette no strippers.

可我已答应伯纳黛特不找脱衣舞女了

You don't want strippers

你居然不想找脱衣舞女

You're the king of strippers.

装什么啊你可是脱衣舞之王啊

The one club in North Hollywood

北好莱坞的一家脱衣舞俱乐部

named a pole after you.

还用你的名字命名了一根钢管呢

What can I tell ya I'm not into that stuff anymore.

怎么说呢我对那玩意已经不感兴趣了

Good for you Howard. I'm proud of you.

不错啊霍华德真为你自豪

And still you're the first one of use to get married.

可你是我们几人中第一个结婚的

We have to do something special.

总得干点特别的事吧

You know Germans have an interesting pre wedding custom

知道吗德国人有个有趣的婚前习俗...

Well it's probably not for me.

估计不太适合我吧

Maybe we can go up to Napa Valley.

去纳帕谷怎么样

They've got that wine train.

那里有品酒列车

Boo wine

酒坏东西

But yay trains. I'm in.

火车好东西我要加入

Anyway it's a beautiful time of year.

现在这个时节那里的景色很美

Uh you travel through the vineyards.

穿行于葡萄园中

There's a tasting on board.

火车上溢满葡萄酒的香气

And all the wildflowers are in bloom.

漫山遍野的花朵争奇斗妍

Magic.

简直是仙境

Look at that in 30 seconds

看啊才过了三十秒

we went from hiring women to being them.

咱们从"玩女人"变"当女人"

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第二十二集

So I hear you and the lost boys

听说你们几个

are having a bachelor party tonight.

今晚要开个单身派对呢

Yeah just going to a restaurant

是啊就是去餐馆

get some steaks and scotch.

吃吃牛排喝喝威士忌

Nothing to worry about. Why should I worry

-你不用担心 -我有什么好担心的

Well I don't know. It's a bachelor party.

始终是个单身派对嘛

There could be strippers.

兴许我们会找脱衣舞女来呢

Wouldn't that make you a little jealous

你难道就一点都不吃醋吗

Oh come on Leonard it's you. What's going to happen

拜托莱纳德我对你放心都很

I mean even if there was a stripper

即使真的有脱衣舞女

all you'd do is avoid eye contact

你也不敢跟人有眼神接触

and maybe offer to help her kid with his homework.

没准还会主动提出辅导她孩子功课呢

Hey I am a young man in his sexual prime.

拜托我很年轻欲火如日中天

Under the right conditions I I I am capable of just

天时地利人和具备我也是能做出...

really crazy stuff.

非常疯狂的事情的呢

Really What is the craziest thing

是吗那说说你与女人做过

you've ever done with a woman

最最疯狂的事情是什么

And the time you and I had sex in the ocean does not count.

你我于海中"翻江倒海"的那次可不算

Oh come on. That's got to count.

别这样啊那必须得算

There was a really strong undertow we could have died.

那天激流暗涌我们可能随时葬身海底

Well have fun tonight.

祝你今晚玩得痛快啊

Oh I will.

放心吧我会的

There is no telling what might happen.

会发生什么事我可不保证哦

Yeah there is.

绝对没事

You know there's nothing wrong helping some woman's kid

帮特殊职业的女人辅导孩子过高考

get through their S.A.T.'s.

也没什么不对吧

Hey I got to hand it to Raj

我得好好夸夸拉杰

he found a really nice spot to have a bachelor party.

他找的餐馆还挺适合开单身派对呢

It's not bad.

的确不赖

Unless you compare it to a train then it stinks.

但一与火车相比这地方就相形见绌了

Are you drinking whiskey

你在喝威士忌吗

Indeed.

没错

If I'm to participate in the social convention

如果我要参与进这种社会习俗

that is the stag night

也就是这个单身派对

then I must embrace all its components

我就得接受所有的东西

including tobacco swear words

包括香烟脏话

and yes alcohol.

当然还有酒

Jeepers That's yucky.

亲娘咧太难喝了

Whoa it's a little early to start

活动才刚开始

dropping J bombs don't you think

就把亲娘挂嘴边骂太快了吧

Hey you guys. Oh hey Wil.

-你们好呀 -你好呀威尔

Nice of you to make it out tonight for Howard.

谢谢能来参加霍华德的派对

Well it was either this or another

如果我不来这儿

《星际迷航》中苏鲁田光的扮演者

hot tub party at George Takei's house.

就得去乔治·竹井家参加泡澡派对了

I'm confused.

我不太明白

I thought since our reconciliation

我以为自从我们和解之后

I was your friend in this group.

这帮人里只有我才是你的朋友

Oh I'm friends with Howard too.

霍华德也是我的朋友

I guess you're just friends with anybody.

原来你只求数量不求质量

Hey uh Leonard...

莱纳德

things are a little tight at the comic book store.

最近漫画书店的生意不太好

I might need some help covering my share of the check.

我可能需要你先帮我垫餐钱

Oh yeah no worries.

没问题

And maybe a few bucks for the valet.

还有给服务员的小费

Oh all right.

可以

And gas money to get home.

还有回家的油钱

Yeah sure. Great.

-当然 -太好了

You know what This is my grandfather's watch.

你知道吗这是我爷爷的手表

18 carat gold got it in Europe during the war.

18K金的战争时期从欧洲弄来的

Wow that's very nice. Mm hmm.

不错挺好看的

100 bucks and it's yours.

一百块卖给你

Hey everybody

各位

The bachelor boy has arrived

派对主角来了

For he's a jolly good fellow

他是个快乐的好小伙

For he's a jolly good fellow

他是个快乐的好小伙

For he's a jolly good fellow

他是个快乐的好小伙

Which nobody can deny

大家都说他是好小伙

Yes yes yes. He's a jolly good fellow.

没错没错他个快乐的好小伙

What time do the strippers arrive

请问脱衣舞女什么时候来

Actually Barry we're not going to have strippers tonight.

巴里我们今晚没请脱衣舞女

Ah then what the frig did I get 200 dollars in singles out for

那我找了两百块散钱搞毛啊

You want to buy a watch

你想买手表吗

This is Maid of Honor Amy Farrah Fowler

首席伴娘艾米·菲拉·福勒

bringing you the wedding activities

为你带来大喜之日

just weeks out from the big day.

前几周的婚礼活动

Let's check in with a beautiful radiant young woman

看看这位年轻漂亮容光焕发的美女

and her friend who's about to get married.

旁边那边则是她的准新娘朋友

Ladies can you tell us what you're doing

美女们能说说你们在做什么吗

Um these are gift bags

这些是礼品袋

we're going to put in the hotel rooms of our out of town guests.

我们准备把它们放到外地宾客的房间里

This is a map of Pasadena.

这是一张帕萨迪纳的地图

This is a list of local restaurants.

这是一张本地餐馆的清单

And then for Howie's relatives

还有给霍华德亲戚准备的

we have antihistamines antacids

抗组织胺剂[抗过敏] 抗酸剂[胃药]

and medicine for diarrhea and constipation.

还有治腹泻和便秘的药

Yeah we labeled them "stop and go."

我们在上面贴了"泻停封"和"泄挺疯"

All right pivoting to the big question

好的转到主要问题上

Bernadette on your wedding night

伯纳黛特洞房花烛夜

you'll be consummating your marriage.

你们将正式圆房

What do you think your first sexual position will be

新婚小夫妻打算采用哪种

as husband and wife

性交体位呢

Amy please.

艾米拜托

Keeping in mind that whoever's on top

记住谁在上

may set the tone for the marriage.

谁就掌握婚姻大权哦

Okay show's over.

好了别拍了

Hey they may conceive a child on their wedding night.

他们说不定能在新婚之夜怀上孩子呢

Don't you think the kid might get a kick

你不觉得孩子将来看到这个

out of knowing how it happened

会很高兴吗

I don't care.

我不管

Ask her things like "Are you going to take Howard's name "

你应该问"会不会从霍华德的姓"这类问题

Not "Who's going to sit on who."

而不是"谁会骑在谁的上面"

I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate

我其实想过用连字符把两个姓串起来

Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski Wolowitz.

伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯滕科斯基-沃罗威茨

Nice.

不错

You know you should totally get

你应该去注册一个

Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski Wolowitz.com

伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯滕科斯基-沃罗威茨网站

before someone snaps it up.

以免被别人抢先注册

Howard already took care of it.

霍华德已经注册了

Plus he set up our beautiful wedding Web site

而且他还建了个很漂亮的婚礼网站

with cute little facts about our family histories.

上面有我们两家家族史的小故事

Do you know for a while in Poland

你知道吗在波兰有一段时间

my family and his family were neighbors.

我们两家还是邻居

Oh that's cool.

那太好了

No it's not. I'll explain it to you later.

一点也不好我以后再跟你解释

May I have your attention please

请大家听我说两句

We are here tonight to celebrate the upcoming nuptials

我们今晚齐聚一堂庆祝我死党霍华德

of my best friend Howard Wolowitz.

即将步入婚姻的殿堂

Hear Hear

干杯干杯

And apparently Wil Wheaton's best friend.

显然他是威尔·惠顿的死党呢

Sheldon...

谢尔顿

Talk to the hand.

懒得鸟你

Does anyone have any words

有没有人想对

they'd like to say about our man of the evening

今晚的主人公说几句

I do.

我来

As is the tradition

按照传统习惯

I have prepared a series of disrespectful jokes

我准备了一些无礼的笑话

which generate humor at Howard's expense.

来取笑霍华德娱乐大众

Prepare to have your ribs tickled...

准备笑到肚子疼吧

Howard...

霍华德

I always thought you'd be the last one of us to ever get married

我一直以为你会是我们当中最后结婚的人

because you are so short and unappealing.

因为你四肢短小其貌不扬

Am I right

我说的对吧

Let's see here.

看看下面这个

Oh seriously though Howard

不过话说回来霍华德

you're actually one of the most intelligent people I know.

你其实是我认识的最聪明的人之一

And that's a zinger because you're not.

这是笑点因为你不是

I've always thought that you'd make

我一直以为总有一天

someone a fine husband someday.

你会"做"个好丈夫

Assuming you'd be able to get the parts

前提是你能找齐零件

and develop the engineering skills

并拥有足够的工程技术

to assemble them which I don't see as likely.

能把自己组装成好丈夫不过应该是没戏吧

Hacha

好笑吧

Okay... Let me see here.

好再看看这个

Okay kidding aside

好了不说笑了

Howard you are a good friend.

霍华德你是一个益友

And I wish you nothing but happiness.

我希望你幸福美满

Bazinga I don't

逗你玩我才不呢

Sheldon... Double bazinga I do

-谢尔顿 -还是逗你玩我希望你好

Good luck following that.

要跟上哥的思维你得加油啊

So Howard Wolowitz tying the knot.

霍华德·沃罗威茨要结婚了

Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind.

要将疯狂的单身生活抛诸脑后

He was a wild one.

他是个疯狂的人

Well I guess we all kind of were.

不过我们又何尝不是呢

I remember this one time

我记得有一次

I was with this girl at the beach.

我和一个姑娘去了海边

We were in the ocean and we started making out.

我们在海水里然后开始亲热

I know it was crazy.

我知道这挺疯狂的

I wasn't even wearing my Aquasocks.

我连耐克户外鞋都没穿呢

Then...

接下来

Nobody cares Hofstadter.

没人想听霍夫斯塔德

Wrap it up.

总结陈词吧

Right.

好吧

To Howard.

敬霍华德

To Howard.

敬霍华德

I totally had sex in the ocean.

哥绝对"翻江倒海"过

Okay I'll go.

好吧我来说几句吧

Howard when I think about you and Bernadette

霍华德当我想到你和伯纳黛特

starting this wonderful life together

马上要开始共筑美好人生时

I can't help but get a little choked up.

我就情不自禁地想哭

I mean...

我是说

look at you.

你看看你

You have everything.

坐拥一切

Look at me.

你再看看我

I'm 37.

我都三十七岁了

I sleep in the back of a comic book store

还住在漫画书店的后面

and I have the bone density of an 80 year old man.

而且我的骨密度堪比八十岁的老头

To Howard.

敬霍华德

To Howard.

敬霍华德

Um uh who's next I'll go.

-谁是下一个 -我来

Howard I'm gonna say something to you that everybody's thinking

霍华德我要说几句大家心里有胆想

but no one has the courage to say out loud.

却没胆说出来的话

When you invite a man to a bachelor party

当你邀请一个男人参加单身派对时

the implication is there will be strippers.

潜台词就是现场会有脱衣舞女

Maybe not completely nude

或许不是一丝不挂

but at least pasties and G strings.

但至少得看见小内内或丁字裤吧

That's not unreasonable.

这要求相当合理

Hear hear. Hear hear.

-说得好说得好 -说得好说得好

Okay uh anybody else

好了还有谁要说两句吗

Huh No

没了吗

Okay it all comes down to me the best man.

好吧那就由我这个伴郎来压轴吧

Ooh This grasshopper is kicking my ass hopper.

这杯开胃酒把人家喝得"性致"大开哟

Okay okay when I first came to this country

言归正传当我第一次来到这个国家时

I I didn't know how to behave or how to dress

我不懂如何待人处事也不懂如何穿衣打扮

or what was cool...I was pretty lonely.

更不知道什么才叫做酷人家那时候很寂寞

But then I met Howard

可当我遇到霍华德之后

and suddenly my life changed

突然间我的人生就此改变

because we could be lonely together.

因为有人陪我一起寂寞

This man became my whole world.

这个男人变成了我的全世界

Yeah nice speech Francine.

说得好小美人

I'm not done but thank you.

我还没说完呢不过谢谢

I think back....

我回想起...

...to all the good times we had like uh

我们曾共度的美好时光

when we went camping and spent that night

比如说我们那次去露营

telling each other all our secrets.

彻夜不睡分享彼此的小秘密

I told him I'm addicted to pedicures

我告诉他我很爱修脚

and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin.

而他告诉我他的初夜给了他的表姐

She was my second cousin.

那是我的远房表姐

And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually.

也是你第一个让人"不满足"的性伴侣

Ba da bazinga

逗你玩呀逗你玩

Oh...oh yeah and then there was the time

没错还有一次

when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas

我和莱纳德带霍华德去拉斯维加斯

and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish

我们雇了个妓女让她假扮成犹太人

and that she wanted his little kosher pickle.

然后勾搭他说想吃他的犹太"小黄瓜"

Of all the "Howard humping hookers" stories

在所有的"霍华德搞妓女"的故事中

that one's my favorite

我最爱的就是这个了

Okay buddy that's it. Sit down.

好了兄弟够了坐下吧

Oh oh what about that tubby girl

还有那个在动漫节上

in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic con

扮成美少女战士的胖妞

Don't remember. Please sit down.

不记得了坐下吧

The only threesome I've ever had in my life

那是我这辈子唯一一次3P经历

and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.

而且我很自豪地说就是跟这边这位男人一起干的

Oh please shut up.

我求求你闭嘴吧

Oh oh don't get me wrong

千万别误会

nothing happened with me and Howard.

我和霍华德之间什么也没发生

There was about 200 pounds of Sailor Moon between us.

我俩中间还夹了两百磅的美胖女战士呢

Oh Internet this is so going all over you.

这段子绝对要在网上红爆了

Jeepers I'm drunk.

亲娘咧我喝高了

Thank you for picking us up.

谢谢你来接我们

There's a warning right there on the scotch bottle.

威士忌瓶子上还贴着一条警示标语呢

You cannot be operatin' heavy machinery

老弟一杯下肚之后

after you had a snootful of this laddie

绝对不可以操作重型机械哦[苏格兰口音]

Funny.

好好笑

You boys have a nice time

你们几个玩得开心吗

Yeah it was great.

还不错吧

Low key like I promised.

如我保证般十分低调

No hanky panky no strippers.

没有乱来没有脱衣舞女

Just the guys telling jokes.

只是一堆男人讲讲笑话而已

That's nice.

不错啊

How about you Did you have a fun night

你呢你今晚玩得开心吗

Yeah we uh made gift bags had wine

不错我们包了一下礼物喝了点红酒

and then went online and saw this.

然后上网看到了这个

Of all the "Howard humping hookers" stories

在所有的"霍华德搞妓女"的故事中

that one's my favorite.

我最爱的就是这段了

You know we're not that far from my apartment.

其实这离我家已经不远了

If you stop the car I can walk from here.

你可以把我放下来让我自己走回去吧

You ain't goin' anywhere Threeway.

你哪也别想去 3P男

Bernadette listen... You lied to me.

-伯纳黛特听着 -你骗了我

You said you told me about all the girls you've been with

你说你向我坦白了你所有的女人

but you never mentioned your cousin

可你从未提过你还睡过你的表姐

the prostitute or Raj

妓女还有拉杰

Seriously you don't even have to stop the car.

说真的你都用不着停车

Anything under ten miles an hour

只要车速不超过每小时十英里

and I can combat roll into the street.

我就能安全跳下车

Okay just to set the record straight

好吧我要澄清一下

I didn't hire the prostitute she was a gift from him.

妓女不是我雇的那是他送我的礼物

Shame on you Raj.

你真不知廉耻拉杰

That is not how we treat women in this country.

在美国你可不能这样对待女人

Don't you try and blame this on him.

你少把一切都推到他头上

Thank you Bernadette. Zip it pervert

-谢谢你伯纳黛特 -闭嘴吧变态

I don't know what I'm going to do.

我不知道我该怎么办

I'm supposed to marry Howard in a couple weeks

再过两个礼拜我就要嫁给霍华德了

and I'm not sure I even know who the man is anymore.

可我不确定我是否还对这男人了若指掌

I'm curious what's bothering you most

我很好奇你最郁闷的是哪件

the borderline incest the prostitute

近亲乱伦招妓

or group sex with the girl dressed as the children's cartoon

还是跟穿得像儿童卡通的女孩玩3P

Amy remember when we went over things

艾米还记得我教过你

that would be helpful and things that wouldn't

什么话该说什么话不该说吗

Right.

记得

And that was... Not.

-那我刚才说的话... -不该说

When I first met Howard he seemed so innocent to me

我初识霍华德时觉得他很纯良

just a sweet little guy who lives with his mother.

只是个跟妈妈同住的善良小伙

Well if that's what you like

你要是喜欢这样的男生

I'll take you to the comic book store

我可以带你去漫画书店

the place is full of 'em.

那里都是这样的小伙

Wait a minute.

等下

You set me up with Howard.

是你撮合我和霍德华的

Did you know about all the creepy stuff he was into

你当时就知道他做的全部恶心事吗

Well a little. You hear stuff...

一点点吧道听途说而已

Why didn't you tell me

你为什么不告诉我

Well I was gonna but I didn't think

我想告诉你的但我觉得

it would go past the first date.

你们肯定撑不过第一次约会

Then when it did I thought for sure

撑过之后我又觉得

it wouldn't go past you meeting his mother.

等见完她妈妈你们俩也该分手了吧

Definitely not past the two of you sleeping together.

最迟等到滚过床单后也肯定该分了

I mean the warning signs were there

处处都是警告信号

this is really on you.

要怪也只能怪你

God

老天啊

I thought you were my friend.

亏我还把你当朋友

I don't think that was helpful.

你刚说的也是不该讲的吧

Hi Bernie it's me again.

小妮妮还是我

Please call me back.

请给我回电

Dude I am so sorry.

兄弟我太对不起你了

It's not your fault it's mine.

这不是你的错是我的

I did all that stuff not you.

事都是我干的不是你

Actually you did do one of them together.

事实上有一件倒是你们俩一起"干"的

Here.

给

What is this

这是什么

You're upset.

你很低落

The convention is to bring an upset person a hot beverage.

按我的习惯要给伤心人一杯热饮

No but what is it

不是我是说这是什么热饮

Chicken broth.

鸡汤

It seemed culturally appropriate.

犹太人也都爱喝鸡汤嘛

Also there was a single cube of chicken bouillon

而且这一整块鸡精块

in the cupboard when I moved in

从我刚搬进来就在那橱柜里了

and it's been bothering me for the last eight years...

这事困扰了我八年之久

So as they say two birds.

正所谓一石二鸟嘛

I don't know what my next move is.

我不知道接下来该怎么做了

Well Howard I don't know much about women...

霍华德我不大了解女人

Yeah No uh that that's it.

-然后呢 -没了就这句话

I don't know much about women.

我不大了解女人

Raj you got anything

拉杰你有建议吗

I've got the phone number of the tubby girl from Comic Con.

我有漫画展上那个胖妞的电话号码

I'm not calling the girl from Comic con.

我才不打给漫画展认识的妞

All right.

好吧

More Sailor Moon for me.

那美胖女战士我独享咯

I just threw up the bachelor party.

我把单身派对吐光光了

求你出来吧伯纳黛特

Let's talk through this.

我们来谈谈

No leave me alone.

不要别理我

Perhaps you should give him a taste of his own medicine.

或许你该以其人之道还治其人之身

Do you have a cousin who you find attractive

你有没有特别迷人的表兄弟

Amy.

艾米

Hey you introduced her to the sleazebag.

是你把那个下流胚子介绍给她的

I'm just trying to clean up your mess.

我只是帮你收拾烂摊子

I need to talk to Bernadette.

我想找伯纳黛特谈谈

Well I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now.

她现在估计不想跟任何人谈吧

All right well could you at least give her a message

好吧能请你至少帮我转告她吗

Yeah sure I guess.

当然

Tell her I'm really sorry.

告诉她我真的很抱歉

And if she doesn't want to marry me I get it.

如果她不想嫁给我了我能理解

But what I really want her to know

但我真的想让她明白

is the guy that she's disgusted by

她所厌恶的那个我

is the guy that I'm disgusted by too.

也是我所厌恶的

But that guy doesn't exist anymore he's gone.

但昨日种种譬如昨日死

And the reason is because of her.

正是因为她我才改过自新

So if this relationship is over

如果她要跟我分手

let her know that she made me a better man

请帮我告诉她是她让我成为更好的男人(重获新生)

and tell her thank you.

帮我谢谢她

Oh my God Howard.

天啊霍华德

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

那是我听过最动人的话语

And it came out of you.

而且还是你这货讲出口的

Howie

华仔

Penny has a message for you.

佩妮有话要转告你

I heard.

我都听到了

Your voice not unlike your mother's

你的声音跟你妈的一样

travels through walls.

穿墙入耳

Do you want me to go

需要我离开吗

No.

不

Come here.

过来

I'm still really mad at you.

我还在很气你呢

I get that.

我明白

Is there anything else about your past I should know

你的过去还有什么是我该知道的吗

Couple things but you know most of them happened overseas.

还有几件吧但大多数都发生在海外

I'll tell you later.

我之后再告诉你

Okay.

好吧

So is the wedding still on

婚礼还继续吗

Yeah the wedding's still on.

好啦婚礼继续

Oh thank God.

感谢老天

I'm still a maid of honor

我还可以当伴娘

Oh what the hell.

管他呢

This is kind of hot.

这场面好热辣啊

What's with the robe

你怎么穿着睡袍啊

I'm gonna have sex with you right here

我要在此时此地

right now on that washing machine.

与你在那台洗衣机上翻云覆雨

No you're not.

没门

Come on please.

来吧求你

If you want to do something

你真想做什么的话

you can help me fold this sheet.

帮我一起叠床单吧

Folding a sheet in my underwear still pretty crazy.

穿着内裤叠床单还是很疯狂

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