生活大爆炸-S03E15_生活大爆炸

S01

第三季第十五集

生活大爆炸

Yeah I miss you too sweetie.

嗯我也想你了亲爱的

Listen I got to go but I'll see you tonight

我得挂了晚上见吧

Okay. Bye bye. Bye bye.

好的拜拜拜拜

No you hang up first.

不你先挂嘛

Hello

喂

Dude I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend

老兄我为你好不容易找到个女朋友而高兴

but do you have to do all that lovey dovey stuff

但你非得当着我们这些光棍的面

in front of those of us who don't

玩那套你亲我热的把戏吗

Actually he might have to.

事实上他也许该当如此

There's an economic concept known as a positional good

在经济学里有种概念被称之为地位商品

in which an object is only valued by the possessor

它只在持有人手中才能彰显其价值

because it's not possessed by others.

因为其他人无法拥有

The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch

这个词由经济学家弗列得·赫希杜撰于1976年

to replace the more colloquial but less precise "neener neener."

用来取代更口语化但并不准确的"哦也-哦也"[嘲讽]

That's not true.

才不是呢

My happiness is not dependent

我的快乐不是建立于

on my best friend being miserable and alone.

挚友的杯具与孤独之上的

Thank you.

谢谢

Although I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.

当然要说我没得儿意地笑肯定是说谎了

Who's miserable and alone

谁杯具和孤独了

Me.

我

I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend.

我以前也这样直到我有了女朋友

In pre 1976 terms neener neener.

用1976年之前的话来说 "哦也-哦也"

Hey what are you and Bernadette doing for your first Valentine's Day

嘿你和伯纳黛特准备如何共度你们的第一个情人节

Yeah I am pulling out all the stops.

啊我可是绞尽脑汁了

There's a $39.95 lover's special at P.F. Chang's.

华馆提供了39.95美金的情侣特典套餐

Egg rolls dumplings

蛋卷啊饺子啊

bottomless wok and you get your picture taken

数不清的炒菜最后你还能和门口硕大的

on the big marble horse out front.

大理石马合影留念

Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest

考虑到圣瓦伦丁是个在公元三世纪

who was stoned and beheaded

被丢石头和斩首的罗马祭司

wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening

在这个夜晚带着女朋友去看一场残忍的凶杀

be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder

难道不是更合情理的庆祝方式吗

I understand your point but given a choice

我明白你的意思但是有选择的话

Jews always go with Chinese food.

犹太人永远选择中国菜

Well if anyone's interested

呃如果任何人有兴趣

I'll be spending this Valentine's Day

今年的情人节

the same way I spend every Valentine's Day.

我会像往年一样

Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket

从超市买只大烤鸡

taking it home standing over the sink

带回家站在洗手池边

and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.

像只禽兽一样直接打开包装用手抓着吃

Okay so to sum up one giant marble horse

很好那总结一下一个是大理石骏马

one asinine comment one lonely man and his chicken.

一条愚蠢之极的意见剩男则独自回家吃鸡

And let's see. Who's left

让我们看看还剩谁呢

Oh that's right. My plans.

没错就剩我的计划了

Isn't anyone going to ask

有人想要问一下吗

Fine tell us you're going to have sex with Penny.

好吧告诉我们你会和佩妮云雨一番

That's not what I was going to tell you.

这不是我想说的

It's okay. I don't mind hearing about your sex life.

没关系我不介意听听你的性生活

It's his that bugs me.

只有他的才会让我抓狂

Guess who the university is sending to Switzerland

你们猜学校要派谁去瑞士

to attend a conference and see the CERN supercollider

参加研讨会并参观欧洲核子研究委员会的超级对撞机

on February 14

就在二月十四日

Professor Norton although God knows why.

诺顿教授尽管原因只有上帝才知道

He hasn't published anything of note

他自从获得诺贝尔奖之后

since he won that Nobel Prize.

就再也没有发表过任何著名的文章

Actually Professor Norton can't make it.

事实上诺顿教授去不成了

He threw his back out rock climbing.

他在攀岩的时候把腰扭了

I heard he threw his back out climbing on his new girlfriend.

我怎么听说他是在攀新女友的高峰时把腰扭了

The big boobed weather girl on Channel 2

就是第二台的那个爆乳天气女郎吗

That's the one.

就是她

In any case they're asking me to fill in for him.

不管怎样他们邀请我代替他

In Switzerland or with the big boobed weather girl

是瑞士还是爆乳天气女郎

Switzerland.

瑞士

And I get to bring a guest

而且我还能带一个人去

Oh man No way dude

哦天呐不可能老兄

This is incredible

太难以置信了

I'm so happy

我太开心了

I'm not even going to question their judgment in picking you.

我甚至不想去质疑他们为什么会选你去了

I'm just going to run home and start packing.

我要速度奔回家收拾行李

Why wouldn't you take Penny

你怎么不带佩妮去

I am taking Penny.

我是要带佩妮去的

Well then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home.

那我预测你回家会面临个尴尬的境地

Sheldon you got a minute

谢尔顿有空吗

Of course my good friend.

当然了我的好朋友

Come in.

请进

Help me out.

帮我参考一下

Which ski hat says aprey supercollider

哪顶滑雪帽比较像超级对撞机

Sheldon I'm not taking you to Switzerland.

谢尔顿我没有选你去瑞士

Well of course you are.

你当然选我了

Who else would you take

你还能选谁呢

Penny.

佩妮

What That's absurd.

什么这太荒谬了

Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究又不感兴趣

Yes but it'll be Valentine's Day.

没错但那是情人节啊

We can go sightseeing and skiing

我们可以去观光滑雪

and make love in front of a roaring fire

然后在熊熊炉火前与皑皑白雪所覆盖的

in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.

阿尔卑斯山阴中共度春宵

But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

但佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究不感兴趣啊

I'm sorry Sheldon.

抱歉谢尔顿

Sorry

抱歉

I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider

我自从九岁起就一直梦想着有朝一日

since I was nine years old.

去看大型强子对撞机

Yeah well I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day

是吗那我还从六岁起就梦想有朝一日有个女生

with a girl since I was six.

能与我共度情人节呢

Shame on you

太可耻了

That's no dream for a scientist

这不是科学家该有的梦

Okay what's the big surprise

你要给我什么巨大的惊喜啊

Just a minute.

稍等一下

This tray contains clues

这个托盘里藏着

as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day.

你和我如何共度情人节的线索

Oh. Wow. Okay.

喔好吧

Let's see.

让我看看

We've got uh milk chocolate

有牛奶巧克力

Swiss cheese fondue.

瑞士硬干酪芝士火锅

My lactose intolerant boyfriend is going to eat all this.

我的乳糖不耐症男友要吃完这些

Then I'm going to climb on his back and rocket to the moon

然后我骑在他背上直冲月球

No.

不对

But it does involve air travel.

但的确跟空中旅行有关

Okay um...

这样吧

let me slice this Swiss cheese with my Swiss army knife

我用"瑞士"军刀切一片"瑞士"干酪

and then you can wash it down with a cup of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.

你可以把它加到一杯 "瑞士"小姐速溶可可里

Okay I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.

嗯我觉得瑞士应该是个关键词了

Uh huh.

没错

We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn

去迪士尼乐园玩马特洪峰雪橇过山车

How does that involve air travel

这怎么会跟空中旅行有关

We're going to Disney World and ride the Matterhorn

去迪士尼世界玩马特洪雪橇过山车[奥兰多佛罗里达]

No.

不对

Okay sweetie this started out fun but I'm over it.

亲爱的开始是挺好玩的但现在没意思了

We're going to Switzerland

我们要去瑞士的

to see the CERN supercollider

欧洲核子研究中心参观超级对撞机

And ski. We'll also go skiing.

还有去滑雪

We're going skiing in Switzerland

我们要去瑞士滑雪

Well you'll ski I'll fall but yeah

你滑我会摔倒不过是的

we will be in Switzerland for Valentine's Day.

我们要去瑞士过情人节

Oh my God Leonard That's incredible

天啊莱纳德太好了

Not so fast.

别高兴得太早

You might want to hold off on lighting your rabeliechtli Penny.

先别急着点你的芜菁灯吧佩妮

Rabe what ly

芜什么玩意儿

Rabeliechtli. It means turnip light

芜菁灯芜菁灯

and refers to a traditional lantern hand carved from a root vegetable

是一种用根菜手工雕刻的传统灯笼

and used to celebrate certain Swiss festivals.

用于庆祝瑞士的特定节日

Which you will not be celebrating

但你不会参加

because A these festivals occur in the fall

原因之一节日在秋季

and B

原因之二

you will not be going to Switzerland.

你去不了瑞士

Sheldon we've been through this.

谢尔顿我们谈过了

I'm taking Penny.

我带佩妮去

Afraid not. Do you recognize this

估计不行你还认得这个吗

Not the roommate agreement.

别提室友协议

Indeed the roommate agreement.

正是室友协议

I call your attention to the Friendship Rider

请您注意友谊附加条款

in Appendix C Future Commitments.

在附录C 未来义务

"Number 37 in the event one friend is ever invited

第37条当一位朋友受邀

"to visit the Large Hadron Collider

参观现在瑞士建设中的

"now under construction in Switzerland

大型强子对撞机

he shall invite the other friend to accompany him."

该人应邀请另一位朋友相陪

Oh for God's sakes.

偶滴神啊

You actually put that in an agreement

你们连这个也写进协议里吗

Yeah. We also put in what happens

里面还写了

if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant

如果一人得了麦克阿瑟天才奖怎么办

or if one of us gets superpowers

如果一人有超能力怎么办

or if one of us is bitten by a zombie.

如果一人被僵尸咬了怎么办

He can't kill me even if I turn.

就算我尸变他也不能杀我

Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend

里面没写一人有了女友怎么办吗

No that seemed a little farfetched.

没有那个有点太不着调了

Sheldon do you really expect to enforce this

谢尔顿你真打算强制实施这个吗

I've lived up

我一直遵守

to all my commitments under the agreement.

协议里的所有义务

At least once a day I ask how you are

每天至少问候你一次

even though I simply don't care.

即使我一点都不在意

I no longer

我没有

stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10 00 p.m.

在晚上十点后进行生物危害演习了

And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing.

我也放弃学习图瓦喉唱了

Okay I know I shouldn't ask but what is... No.

-我知道不该问不过什么是 -别啊

I'd be much further along if I'd been allowed to practice.

如果允许我训练我能唱得更好

Look Sheldon i know it's in the agreement

谢尔顿我知道协议这么写

and if you turn into a zombie I promise I will not kill you.

如果你真的变成僵尸我保证不杀你

In fact I'll even let you eat my brains.

我宁愿让你喝我脑浆

But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.

但我还是要带佩妮去瑞士

Is that your final decision

这是你的最终决定吗

It is.

没错

Very well.

很好

It's not over is it

他不会罢休对吧

What do you think

你以为呢

Got a bit of traffic this morning huh

今早的车挺多啊

Think it's gonna rain

你觉得会下雨吗

Instead of underpants

今天早上

I covered my crotch with potato salad this morning.

我把土豆沙拉当内裤穿了

Thoughts

有啥想法

Okay I know what'll cheer you up.

我知道怎么让你高兴

Let's play one of your driving games.

我们玩你的开车游戏吧

All right.

好啊

This game is called Traitors.

游戏名就叫叛徒

I will name three historical figures

我说三个历史人物

you put them in order

你以背叛行为的罪恶程度

of the heinousness of their betrayal.

来给他们排下序

Benedict Arnold Judas Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.

本尼迪克特·阿诺德犹大莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士

You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas

你真觉得我跟他们是一类人吗

You're right.

你说得对

Judas had the decency to hang himself after what he did.

犹大至少为自己的作为以死谢罪了

Come on Sheldon. Can't you at least try to understand

别这样谢尔顿你就不能理解一下

how much this means to me

这对我有多重要吗

Round two Leonard Hofstadter

第二轮莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德

Darth Vader Rupert Murdoch.

达斯·维达[星战黑武士] 鲁珀特·默多克

Rupert Murdoch

鲁珀特·默多克

He owns Fox and they cancelled Firefly.

福克斯电视台老板他们把《萤火虫》砍了

Hint he and Darth Vader are tied for #2.

提示他和达斯·维达并列第二

I'm sorry I couldn't hang with you last night.

对不起昨晚不能陪你

I had a date with Bernadette.

我和伯纳黛特约会了

I know.

我知道

I saw the Tweet.

我在推特上看到了

So what did you end up doing

那你干什么了

Not much.

没干什么

Nuked a burrito. Oh.

热了块玉米馅饼

Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi that your bowels would loosen

向印度女神乌尔瓦希祈祷你会拉稀

and your penis would droop like a willow tree.

老二蔫得跟柳条一样柔软

You seen Sheldon

看到谢尔顿了吗

No. Is he still mad about the supercollider

没有他还在为超级对撞机的事生气吗

Yeah. He thinks I betrayed him.

对他觉得我背叛了他

I mean come on. What would you guys do if you were me

搞什么啊要是你们会带谁

I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.

我会带谢尔顿去瑞士

Seriously

真的假的

Absolutely.

当然了

And I'd leave him there.

再把他扔在那里

What the hell is that

这是什么情况

Uh let's see.

让我数数

30 pieces of silverware.

30把银制餐具

Grieg "Peer Gynt Morning"

[格里格培尔金特组曲之晨曦]

Morning old chum.

早安老伙计

What's going on

搞什么

I've made you breakfast.

我给你做了早餐

Juice coffee

有果汁和咖啡

and pancakes in the shape of some

还有一些薄饼

of your favorite fictional characters.

上面是你最爱的虚构角色

See here's Frodo.

瞧这是弗罗多[出自《魔戒》]

You made Frodo pancakes

你居然做了弗罗多薄饼

Yeah I used coconut shavings to do the hair on his feet.

脚毛部分我用的是椰子刨花

If you need to void your bladder before eating

你进餐前若需要清空膀胱

I can keep them warm with this beret

我会用这顶贝雷帽帮你暖着

that I thoroughly laundered

我已经彻底清洗干净

and pressed into service as a pancake cozy.

松软程度正适宜用来盖薄饼

Why are you doing this

你有什么目的

It's by way of an apology for my recent behavior.

对我近来的行为表示歉意

I've had some time to reflect and I've come to realize

经过这段时间的思考我终于意识到

that friendship is not an aggregation of written agreements.

友谊不能依靠那堆白纸黑字的协定来维系

It's a result of two people respecting and caring for each other.

而需要两人之间互相尊重和体谅

Butterscotch scone

尝尝奶油烤饼吗

Thanks.

多谢

It's good.

好吃

What you're tasting is respect and affection.

这其中包含着我满满的尊敬和感情

And about a pound of Crisco.

当然还有一磅左右植物白油

After you've finished breakfast i thought we could spend the day

待你用完早餐我觉得今天我们可以

watching the final season of Babylon 5 with director commentary.

一起看导演点评版的巴比伦5号[美国科幻剧]

You hate Babylon 5.

你不是讨厌《巴比伦5号》吗

I do. It fails as drama/science fiction

当然既没剧情又不科幻

and it's hopelessly derivative.

彻头彻尾的仿制大烂片

But you like it and you're my friend.

但是你喜欢而我们又是朋友

Okay great.

好吧赞

Still not taking you to Switzerland.

我还是不会带你去瑞士

Drat.

见鬼

No Frodo for you.

没你的弗罗多尝了

Hello.

你好

Hello.

好啊

All right let's dispense with the friendly banter.

得我们就省掉假惺惺的友好吧

I believe you know why I'm here.

你应该知道我为何来此

Well I always figured it was to study us

关于这点我一直认为

discover our weaknesses

你是来发现我们地球人的弱点

and report back to your alien overlords.

再报告给你们的外星君主

Yes amusing.

搞笑

Extraordinary intelligence

特定情报对你而言

might well appear extraterrestrial to you

貌似是显得像天外来客般难懂

but let me be more specific.

但我还是友情提醒下确切地说

I believe you know why I'm here in the laundry room.

你应该知道我为何在此这个洗衣间里

Better acoustics for your throat singing

喉音唱腔在这里有更好的音响效果吗

It's actually not bad.

还真不赖嘛

But my true purpose in being here

但我来此的真正目的

will be revealed in this brief PowerPoint presentation.

是来做一个简要的幻灯片演说

Lights.

关灯

Why Sheldon Cooper PhD should go to Switzerland

为什么谢尔顿·库珀博士必须去瑞士欧核中心

to see the CERN supercollider

参观超级对撞机的理由

a PowerPoint presentation by Sheldon Cooper PhD.

发言人谢尔顿·库珀博士

Oh for God's sake.

我的老天爷

Here we have a highly gifted researcher

这是一位在粒子物理学领域的

in the field of particle physics

超级天才科学家

whose work has brought him to the precipice

他的成就关乎全人类的命运

of forever changing mankind's understanding of the universe.

从此改变对宇宙的理解

AKA me.

确切来说就是我

And here we have a waitress

而这是一位女招待

brushing her teeth with her finger.

只会用手指抠牙齿而已

AKA you.

确切来说就是你

I'm sorry.

不好意思

Is this supposed to be buttering me up

这算是在奉承我吗

Please hold all questions till the end of the presentation.

请等演讲结束后再提问

This is the Large Hadron Collider

这是瑞士欧核中心的

at CERN in Switzerland

大型强子对撞机

the product of decades of planning and construction.

经由数十年规划和建构而成

It is a Mecca for physicists the world over.

是全世界物理学家心目中的圣地

This is Bath and Body Works

而这是科罗拉多大街的

on Colorado Boulevard.

Bath and Body Works[某品牌]沐浴乳商店

They sell scented soaps and lotions

他们卖香皂和乳液

some of which contain glitter.

外加一些小闪饰品

Now let's see if we can match the individual

现在我们来配对

to the appropriate destination.

这两个人以哪个地方作为目的地比较合适

O kay.

好吧

Show's over.

别闹了

No it's not.

还没完呢

I've got five more slides.

我还有五张幻灯片没讲

Sheldon this is Leonard's decision.

谢尔顿这是莱纳德的决定

He invited me to Switzerland and I intend to go.

他邀我去瑞士我也很想去

Very well.

好吧

Enjoy yourself.

玩得开心

You're going to be in the presence of something

你将亲眼目睹

that I've dreamed of seeing for decades.

我所梦寐以求了十多年的伟大成就

I just hope you'll be able to appreciate

希望你能明白

the magnitude of where you are and what it represents.

这其中所包含的重要意义

I'll talk to Leonard.

我会和莱纳德谈谈

You will

真的吗

Yes.

对

If it means that much to you you should go.

既然对你而言意义重大那应该让你去

Oh Penny thank you

谢谢你佩妮

You're welcome.

没什么

Since I rarely hug

我不怎么抱人

I'm relying on your expertise regarding duration.

要抱多久就听你的

I think we're there.

我觉得差不多了

Oh good.

好极了

Bye bye.

拜啦

You know what

你猜怎么着

Even though I don't have a girlfriend

没有马子又怎样

I can still have a good time on Valentine's Day.

情人节老子照样可以好好过

Trust me you can't. I've tried.

听我的吧这不可能我早试过了

No no no I'm going to have a "me" day.

不我准备好好过我自己的情人节

First I'm going to go to one of those SPAs in Koreatown

首先去韩国城找家店做个SPA

take a steam and get a massage.

蒸个桑拿找人按摩一下

Then I'm going to stop at a pet store and get licked by puppies.

然后去宠物店找条小狗狗来舔舔我

Sheldon I need to talk to you.

谢尔顿我得跟你谈谈

All right my friend. Would you like some Cholermus

好的朋友来点Cholermus煎饼尝尝吗

Some what

尝什么

Cholermus. It's a traditional Swiss breakfast dish.

Cholermus煎饼一种传统的瑞士早餐

I'm preparing my gastrointestinal system

我正在训练我的消化系统

for the exotic cuisine of Switzerland.

习惯瑞士菜特殊的烹饪方法

You're not going to Switzerland

又轮不上你去瑞士

Oh but I am.

但我要去

Didn't Penny tell you the good news

佩妮没告诉你最新的好消息吗

She told me that you went behind my back

她跟我说你背着我去找她

to guilt her into letting you go instead of her.

让她觉得内疚主动提出让你替代她去瑞士

Yes that good news.

对就是这个好消息

Well forget it. I was the one who was invited.

想都别想我才是受邀的人

I get to decide who goes with me

只有我能决定找谁同行

and it's Penny not you

我决定找佩妮而不是你

Howard could you lower the lights

霍华德把灯光调暗点好吗

I have a short PowerPoint presentation.

我做了段简短的幻灯片演示文稿

I don't need to see your presentation.

没必要看什么演示

This discussion is over

讨论到此为止了

That's a somewhat ambiguous response.

这回答有够模棱两可的

Am I going or not

到底带不带我去

Sheldon at this point

谢尔顿事已至此

I would go by myself before I would take you.

我宁愿自己去也不带你

Really

真的

Yeah really.

真的

Well then you leave me no alternative.

好吧那我也别无选择了

From this moment forward

从现在起

we can be roommates but we will no longer be friends.

我们可以当室友但不再是朋友了

I'm sorry you feel that way.

很遗憾你这么觉得

I don't think you're fully aware

我认为你还未充分意识到

of the ramifications here Leonard.

此事的后果莱纳德

Why don't you enlighten me

你何不指点一下

With the friendship clause of our Roommate Agreement nullified

既然我们"室友协议"中的友谊条款无效了

you are no longer entitled to accompany me

等我受邀去比尔·盖茨家游泳的时候

to go swimming at Bill Gates' house should I be invited.

你也就失去了随同一起去的资格

Ooh that's gotta sting.

那可伤大了

Just think this time tomorrow

想想看明天这个时候

we'll be in Geneva Switzerland for our first Valentine's Day.

我们已经在瑞士日内瓦共度我俩第一个情人节了

I know

是啊

I went shopping today

我今天特地去逛街

and bought special undies for the occasion.

专门为此行买了件小内内呢

Thermal 'Cause it's gonna be cold.

保暖吗那边会很冷哦

Think it through Leonard.

再好好想想莱纳德

Gesundheit.

祝你健康[用于对刚打喷嚏者的祝愿]

Or as they say in Switzerland

或者学他们瑞士人讲话

Gesundheit.

祝您健康

You getting a cold

你感冒了吗

No no it's probably just allergies.

不可能只是有点过敏

Do you want an allergy pill

想吃点抗过敏药吗

'Cause I have 'em all.

我啥都有哦

Prescription nonprescription

处方药非处方药

foreign domestic experimental.

进口药国产药实验性药物

Do any of them work

有管用的吗

Not really I'm just an enthusiast.

没我只是喜欢收集

Penny

佩妮

You okay

你还好吧

Did that sound okay to you

我听起来很好的样子吗

Do not come in here

别进来

What's going on

怎么回事

I'm having a tea party.

我这儿开茶话会呢

What do you think's going on

不然你以为怎么回事

I think I might have the flu.

我想我可能得了流感

Or the plague.

要不就是瘟疫

Well our plane leaves at 9 00 a.m.

我们是早上9点的飞机

Do you think you'll feel better by then

你觉得到那时你会感觉好点吗

Yep.

会的

'Cause I'm gonna be dead.

因为那时我早已痛苦至死了

Hey Sheldon

谢尔顿

Listen Penny is pretty sick

佩妮病得很重

and she's not going to be able to go to Switzerland.

不能去瑞士了

So if you're still interested you're welcome to come.

你还有兴趣的话欢迎随我一起去

Great.

太好了

I'll start packing.

我这就去收拾行李

In a minute.

等我一下

Oh look it's the Cholermus.

Cholermus煎饼都吐出来了

Here's your soup.

你的汤

Chicken Yes.

-鸡汤 -对

With the little stars Yes.

-加了点小点缀的 -对

Heated to 180 degrees

加热到180度

Why don't I pour it in your lap and you can tell me

不如我倒你膝盖上你来告诉我到底几度

You don't have to be mean.

不必这么刻薄吧

I'm sick.

我是病人

Yeah well I'm sick too.

是啊我也是病人

Not my problem.

不关我事

I just don't understand how this happened to me.

我就是想不明白我怎么会生病的

I'm scrupulous about my hygiene.

我对个人卫生一向一丝不苟

I regularly disinfect my hands

还定期给双手消毒

and I avoid contact with other people on general principle.

一般来说还都避免接触到别人

I don't know what to tell you Sheldon.

我不知道怎么说谢尔顿

Oh Penny thank you

佩妮谢谢你

You're welcome.

不客气

It's you

是你

I touched you

我拥抱过你

Happy Valentine's Day.

情人节快乐

Oh my goodness look at this room

天哪看看这房间

Champagne

香槟

Roses

玫瑰

And little chocolates

还有巧克力

This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever.

这一定是我有生以来最棒的情人节

Yeah I forgot about all this.

对了我忘了还准备了这些

But I never will.

但我可永世难忘

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