生活大爆炸-S03E23_生活大爆炸

S01

第三季第二十三集 [本季完]

生活大爆炸

Ok we've got the power to the laser.

搞定激光接上电源了

I should've brought an umbrella.

我应该带把伞来的

What for It's not gonna rain.

作甚啊又不会下雨

I know that.

我知道

But with skin as fair as mine moon burn is real possibility.

但我如此白嫩的肌肤还是有可能被月光灼伤的

That's a "Bazinga " Right

这是个"逗你玩儿" 对吧

One of my best don't you think

我的巅峰之作你觉得呢

Howard do you want to double check the equatorial mount on the laser

霍华德你要不要再检查一下激光上的赤道仪装置

We need it locked onto the Sea of Tranquility.

我们得把它锁定到"宁静之海"上 [月面某部名称]

You got it.

没问题

Oh Raj no.

天拉杰别这样

Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet

人们花了无数美元发明了英特网

and filling it with pictures of naked women

并在上面发了无数艳照

so we don't have to peep through windows.

就是为了让我们不需要通过窗户来偷窥啊

It's not like that.

我才没有呢

I'm watching someone's TV.

我只不过在看别人的电视而已

The Good Wife is on.

正在播《傲骨贤妻》呢

I tell you this is my new Grey's Anatomy.

告诉你这就是我的新《实习医生格蕾》

Leonard Leonard.

莱纳德莱纳德

What is that What is that

那是啥那是啥

Relax it's just a dirty sock.

别紧张不就是只脏袜子嘛

How on earth can you say

你怎么可以如此淡定的把

"Dirty sock" And "Relax" In the same sentence

"脏袜子"和"别紧张"放在同一句话里

Sheldon the world is filled with dirty discarded socks.

谢尔顿这个世界上到处都有被遗弃的脏袜子

Not my world.

我的世界可没有

Hey you know who'd really dig seeing this experiment Penny.

嘿你们知道谁会非常想看这个实验吗佩妮

I wasn't aware that lunar ranging was her thing.

我怎么不知道她喜欢月面搜索呢

Although I suppose the retro reflector left on the moon

尽管我可以确定尼尔·阿姆斯特朗留在月球上的

by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object.

回复反射器的确符合了亮晶晶的标准

Why don't you ask her to come up

那你怎么不叫她上来

I don't know it's still a little weird since you know...

不知道自从那之后就有点怪怪的

She dumped you She didn't dump me.

-她甩了你吗 -她没有甩了我

We were just in different places in the relationship.

我们只不过在这段关系中处在不同方位罢了

I fail to see how a relationship

我不明白为什么一段情缘

can have the qualities of a geographic location.

还能有地理位置的特性

Oh it's very simple.

唔这很简单

Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me"

莱纳德住在一个叫做"请别离开"的小镇里

while Penny had just moved to the island of "Buh bye."

而佩妮则刚搬到了一个叫"拜拜"的小岛上

Screw you guys.

去你丫的

I'm gonna go see if she's home.

我去看看她在不在家

If it's not too much trouble

如果方便的话

I'd like to point this at the moon now.

我想把望远镜瞄准月球了

Wait a second.

且慢

The good wife is crying.

好老婆正哭呢

Something's very wrong.

出大问题了

Oh hi. What's going on

嘿怎么了

We're up on the roof bouncing laser beams off the moon.

我们在屋顶上尝试从月球将激光射回来呢

I'm sorry what

抱歉什么

It's pretty cool.

很酷的哦

We've got a two meter parabolic reflector and everything.

我们准备了直径两米的反射器和其他仪器

I thought you might want to see it.

我觉得你可能会想来看看

That makes no sense.

这完全说不通啊

How can you bounce stuff off the moon

你怎么可能从月球上弹射东西

There's no gravity.

那儿可没有重力

Uh Leonard

呃莱纳德

This is Zack. Zack Leonard. Hey.

-这是扎克扎克这是莱纳德 -嘿

Oh sorry I didn't know you were busy. Maybe another time.

抱歉我不知道你们正忙呢或许下次吧

Yeah maybe.

嗯或许吧

Hey I want to see this laser thing.

嗨我想看看这个激光

Oh but what about the party

但那个派对怎么办

It's a surprise party doesn't matter when we get there.

只不过是个惊喜派对而已什么时候到完全没所谓

Right.

那倒是

Okay well yeah come on up.

那好吧上来吧

So how'd you guys meet

你们是如何认识的呢

My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory.

我的公司为芝士工厂设计菜单

Your company

你的公司

Well my dad. But me and my sister are VPs.

事实上是我爸的但我和我妹妹是副总

So... menus.

呃菜单啊

I know it sounds easy but there's a lot of science that goes into designing them.

听起来貌似简单但在设计当中是包含了不少科学知识的

Happy now I'm moving the dirty sock.

开心了吧我把脏袜子丢开了

Thank you.

谢谢

Raj keep an eye out for the other one.

拉杰时刻注意另外一只

Hey guys this is my friend Zack.

各位这是我朋友扎克

Hello. Zack. Whoa

-你好扎克 -哇哦

Is that the laser

这就是那激光吗

It's bitchin'.

太他妈帅了

Yes.

没错

In 1917 when Albert Einstein established

1917年当爱因斯坦在他的文章

the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper

《关于辐射的量子理论中》阐述了

"Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung " His fondest hope

激光的理论基础时他最诚挚的希望

was that the resultant device be bitchin'.

就是最终的仪器要很他妈的帅

Well mission accomplished.

唔那任务达成了

Let me explain what we're doing here.

让我来解释一下我们在做什么

Um in 1969 the astronauts on Apollo 11

1969年阿波罗11号上的宇航员

positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon and we're going to shoot a laser off

在月面安置了数个反射器而我们则要发射激光

one of them and let the light bounce back into this photomultiplier.

到其中的一个上面并反射回来到这个光电倍增器上

Oh That's very cool.

哇那很酷啊

One question.

只有一个问题

How can you be sure it won't blow up

你怎么确定它不会爆炸

The laser

激光吗

The moon.

月球

See now this is a man for Penny.

看这才是配得上佩妮的男人

That's a great question Zack.

问得好扎克

No it's not.

才不是呢

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Play nice.

要友好

It's not a great question.

问得不好

How could somebody possibly think we're going to blow up the moon

怎么能有人觉得我们会炸掉月球

That's a great question.

这才叫问得好

Don't worry about the moon.

不用担心月球

We We set our laser to stun.

我们把激光调弱了

Smart.

聪明

Now we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves

发射时我们能看到光束

but it won't be strong enough when it comes back

但返回时的光束减弱

to be seen by the naked eye.

裸眼看不到

Naked.

裸

Right. Uh... funny.

是很搞笑

Uh that device there will measure the photons that return

那个装置能测量返回的光子

and let us see it on this computer.

我们能在电脑上看到

Raj get them some glasses.

拉杰给他们眼镜

Cool it's gonna be in 3 D

酷还有三维效果

Preparing to fire laser at the moon.

准备向月球发射激光

Make it so.

开始吧

There it is. There's the spike

有了看到峰值了

2.5 seconds for the light to return.

返回时间2.5秒

That's the moon We hit the moon

是月球我们击中月球了

That's your big experiment

这就是你们的大实验

All that for a line on the screen

搞这么多就为了屏幕上的一条线

Yeah but uh think about what this represents.

话虽如此想想这代表着什么

The fact that we can do this is the only way

我们的实验是唯一

of definitively proving that there are man made objectson the moon

能证明月球上有人造物体的实验

put there by a member of a species

这个物体是60年前刚发明飞机的

that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.

种族中一员放上去的

What species is that

那是什么种族啊

I was wrong.

我错了

Penny can do better.

佩妮能找更好的

Okay guys thank you it's been fun. Yeah thanks.

-好了谢谢各位很有意思 -谢谢

Should we invite them to the party No just keep walking.

-能请他们参加派对吗 -不行只管走

He must be very skilled at coitus.

他肯定交媾技能很强

I'm telling you dude the only way

告诉你唯一能让你

to feel better about Penny going out with other guys

接受佩妮结交新欢的办法

is for you to get back on the whores.

就是再奸再厉

Horse.

接

What

什么

The phrase is "Get back on the horse "

那个词是"再接再厉"

not "Whores."

不是"奸"

That's disgusting dude.

老兄你真恶心

No it's not...

不是

Never mind.

算了

He is right though.

不过他说得对

If you want I can turn you on to this great new

你愿意的话我可以给你介绍

dating site I found. No thanks.

-我找到的新交友网 -不了谢谢

You sure They say they can find a match for anybody.

你确定上面说能给任何人牵红线

Have they found a match for you

他们给你牵了吗

Tons. I've had like eight dates in the last month.

多着呢上个月就有八个呢

And 12 if you count the ones who showed up and left.

如果算上见我就闪的有12个呢

I can't bring the nitrogen tank down.

我无法搬氮气罐下来

Why not All right let me restate that.

-为什么 -我重申一遍

It's very heavy and I don't want to.

它很重我不想搬

I'll help you.

我去搬吧

Thank you.

谢谢

Lift with your knees not your back.

用膝盖别用背

Good night.

晚安

You know what would be fun

知道什么才好玩吗

Signing Sheldon up for online dating.

帮谢尔顿申请网上交友

Yeah right.

算了吧

No think about it.

不想一想

We make it an experiment.

我们当实验做

Like when Frankenstein's monster

就像寂寞的科学怪人

was lonely and he found a wife.

找了个老婆

He didn't find a wife.

他没有找老婆

They built him a wife out of dead body parts.

而是用死尸器官造了个老婆

Okay we'll call that plan B.

那可以作为后备计划

Coming

来了

Damn you you rat bastard.

你个该死的混蛋

Are you drunk

你醉啦

Zack was a perfectly nice guy and then you ruined him

扎克是个绝好男友你把他毁了

How did I ruin him

我怎么把他毁了

'Cause in the olden days i never would've known he was so stupid.

因为以前我绝不会觉得他蠢

Come on he wasn't that stupid.

拜托他没那么蠢

Yes he was He thought you were gonna blow up the moon

不他够蠢了他觉得你们会炸掉月球

Okay yeah he's stupid.

对他确实很蠢

He spent the entire night bragging

他一整晚都在吹嘘

about how he invented the word "Appe teasers."

自己怎么造出"阑胃菜"这个词

How is that my fault

这不是我的错吧

You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots.

你毁了我容忍傻逼的能力

Now come with me.

现在跟我走

Wh Where are we going

去哪

We're gonna have sex.

我们去做爱

Why I mean okay.

为啥不过我没意见

What's going on

怎么回事

Put on your noise canceling headphones

把你的降噪耳机戴上

'cause it's gonna get loud.

这边会很吵的

Oh Not this again.

怎么又来了

In what universe is this low pulp

这怎么可能是少果肉呢

Good morning Penny.

早啊佩妮

What do you have eyes in the back of your head

你后脑勺长眼睛了吗

When one gets beaten up every other day in school

隔天就在学校挨揍的某人

one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing.

必然会进化出更敏锐的听觉

Incidentally one can get beaten up in school

而且在学校挨揍的某人

simply by referring to oneself as "One."

通常都把自己称为"某人"

I'm making English muffins.

我准备做英式松饼

Would you like an English muffin

你想吃吗

Oh thanks I'm not hungry. FYI

-不了我不饿 -另外

my noise canceling headphones proved ineffective last night.

昨晚证明我的降噪耳机无效

Yeah sorry about that.

不好意思

As a native Texan I must say I've never heard the phrase "Yee haw"

作为本土德州人我得说"驾"这个词

used in quite that context.

在交媾中很少用到

Oh God.

天呐

"Oh God."

天呐

That I've heard on multiple occasions.

这个我倒是听过很多次

In what universe is that lightly toasted

这算哪门子"微"烤

This has to be the worst day of my life.

今天真是我一生之中最扯淡的一天

Good morning Leonard.

早啊莱纳德

How many times have I asked you not to do that

我告诉过你多少次了不要那么做

Counting this instance 317.

算上这次吗 317次

Where's Penny

佩妮呢

She returned to her apartment.

她回她家去了

I presume to shower and vomit.

我猜应该是去洗澡加呕吐了

Not necessarily in that order.

顺序不一定是按这个

I wonder why she didn't say good bye.

她为啥都没道别一下呢

Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior

你是在叫我解释一下人类行为吗

I know. I just thought as an outsider

难为你了我只是觉得

you might be able to provide a fresh perspective.

当局者迷旁观者清嘛

I have no difficulty believing you're not butter.

我相信你个小东西绝对不是黄油

Oh hey. Oh hi.

-嘿 -嗨

Um I gotta run. Early shift.

我得赶紧走了早班

Okay I'll walk down with you.

好啊我和你一起下楼

So last night was fun huh

昨晚挺有意思的对吧

Yeah it must have been.

那必须的

I just threw up in my closet.

我刚吐在我壁橱里了

Bummer.

杯具啊

Anyway I was thinking tonight maybe we could catch a movie.

我在想啊咱俩今晚去看场电影如何

Oh yeah tonight's not great for me.

今晚我不太方便

Doesn't have to be tonight.

不一定是今天晚上

I'm free pretty much always.

我差不多啥时候都有空

Leonard last night was a mistake.

莱纳德昨晚那件事是个错误

When you say "Mistake " Do you mean a fortunate mistake

你说"错误" 是塞翁失马那种吗

like the discovery of penicillin

就比如发现青霉素

Look I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

I was drunk I was lonely I hated Zack.

我喝高了很寂寞我讨厌扎克

Can we just forget it ever happened

咱俩就当没发生过好吗

No it's pretty well imprinted on my brain.

不行整件事几乎已经刻在我脑子里了

Especially the whole rodeo thing.

特别是骑术表演那部分

Oh God

老天

So that's it

就这样啊

Wham bam thank you Leonard

提上裤子就不认人啦

Look I said I'm sorry. Can't you please let it go

我都道歉了你就别纠结这事儿了行吗

How am I supposed to let it go

你说的倒轻松啊

You used me for sex

你居然把我当泄欲对象

Morning Mrs. Gunderson.

早安冈德森太太

Good morning Leonard.

早啊莱纳德

Or should I say "Yee haw"

或者我该说 "驾"

Holy crap. What

-我靠 -怎么了

We finally have proof that aliens walk among us.

我们终于证实了人类之中藏有外星人

Excuse me

你说啥

The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon.

这个约会网站找到了个适合谢尔顿的女人

You're kidding.

不可能吧

An actual woman

一个实实在在的女人

Yeah look. Breasts and everything.

你看胸部该有的都有

Trust me breasts doesn't necessarily mean woman.

相信我有胸的不一定就是女人

Since when I'll show you a picture

-啥时候有这么一说 -我回头给你看张

of my Uncle Louie in a bathing suit sometime.

我路易叔叔穿泳装的照片

Leonard you gotta see this.

莱纳德快来看啊

We found a match for Sheldon.

我们居然找到适合谢尔顿的姑娘了

Great.

很好

Maybe she can have sex with him and then walk out on him

说不定她会跟他上床然后第二天一早

the next morning without so much as a "How do you do "

连个招呼都不打就闪人

Do you know what he's talking about

你知道他说啥呢吗

Nope. Why don't you ask him

不知道你问问呗

Leonard what are you talking about

莱纳德你说啥呢

I don't want to talk about it.

我不想谈这个

That was a lousy suggestion.

瞧你出的这馊主意

Whatever. Right now

随便啦现在

Dr. Sheldon Cooper has to send an e mail

谢尔顿·库珀博士要给他的真命天女

to his perfect match.

发封邮件

"Greetings fellow life form..."

"您好同类生物"

If she can do it I can do it. If she can do it I can do it.

她能做到那我也能她能做到那我也能

If she can do it I can do it.

她能做到那我也能

I can't do it.

我无能了

Hello Oh hi. Hey.

-谁啊 -你好

Hi Leslie.

你好啊莱斯利

Leonard Hofstadter. What're you doing here

莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德有何贵干

Uh I know It's been a while

是啊咱俩好久没见了

Yeah 18 months.

对啊 18个月

Right. Right.

是啊是啊

So how you doing

你怎么样啊

Fine. You

挺好的你呢

Uh not bad.

不错

You remember when we used to have sex

你还记得之前咱俩上床

and you said that it didn't mean anything it was just for fun

你说这事儿没什么实际意义只是为了娱乐

Yeah.

是啊

You uh want to do that again

你想再来一次吗

What happened Blondie dumped you

怎么了金发美女把你甩了

She didn't dump me.

不是她甩我

We were just in different places in the relationship.

我俩处在一段关系里的不同位置

Right.

是嘛

Um... anyway apparently

随便了显然呢

it's okay to go back to people you're no longer seeing

找个好久不见的人然后俩人

and have recreational sex with them.

娱乐性地打一炮也没啥不好的吧

So what do you say

你觉得如何

Let me think about it.

我考虑下哈

She's not coming back.

她不会再开门了

She wants to meet us.

她想见我们

Not us. Him.

不是我们是他

Yes but him doesn't even know about her.

是啊可是他根本不认识她

Well him about to find out about her.

哎呀他会认识她的

Really Us gonna tell him

真的吗我们要告诉他吗

Who's going to tell whom about what

谁要告诉谁什么

Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Hey. Hi.

嗨

Your surprise confuses me.

你们这么惊讶让我很困惑

I live here.

我住在这儿

Right.

是啊

So listen what are you doing tomorrow afternoon

那个啥明天下午你什么安排

Be more specific.

说的具体点

4 30.

四点半

That's not afternoon.

那不是下午

That's preevning.

那是下午晚

What

什么

It's a time of day I invented.

是我发明的描述时间方式

It better defines the ambiguous period

更好地定义了个模棱两可的时段

between afternoon and evening preevning.

下午和晚上之间就是傍晚

I'm fairly certain it will catch on as it fills a desperate need.

我确信因为急需精确描述这词定会广为流传

Right okay.

好吧

What are you doing tomorrow preevning

那你明天傍晚准备做什么

Well tomorrow's Saturday.

明天是周六

Saturday night is laundry night.

周六晚是洗衣夜

So I'll be spending the preevning pre sorting

所以傍晚我会用来预分选衣物

and pre soaking.

并预浸湿

Okay what if I were to tell you tomorrow at 4 30

如果我告诉你明天4点半

you could meet a woman

你将遇到

who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate

科学挑选出来的你的完美伴侣呢

I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air

我会嘲讽地哼一声无奈地摊开双手

exhausted by your constant tomfoolery.

疲于应付你们这种经常的无聊之举

But it's true.

但这是真的

But we we put all your vital information into this dating site

我们把你所有重要信息上传到了交友网站

answered all their questions just like you would

学着你的方式回答了他们所有问题

and they found a match for you. Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.

他们找到了个跟你匹配的她叫艾米·菲拉·福勒

Please.

拜托

Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would

即使你们学得像我的回答

the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.

这种红娘网站的算法本身就是胡扯的

And that's exactly the answer we gave to the question

他们问到这个问题的时候我们就是这么回答的

"What is your attitude towards online dating "

你对在线交友持何态度

Howard wanted to write "Mumbo jumbo " But I said no.

霍华德想回答"毫无意义" 但我认为不是

Our Sheldon would say "Hokum."

咱谢尔顿会回答"胡扯"

Come on where's your scientific curiosity

拜托你的科学好奇心呢

Well most of it is being applied to unraveling the secrets of the universe

大部分都用来探索宇宙的秘密了

while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you.

剩下的则用来思考我为何要跟你们聊这个了

Okay how about this.

好吧这么说吧

Even Spock had a date once every seven years.

即使史波克每七年也会约会一次的

He didn't date.

他那不是约会

It was Pon Farr.

那是发情期到了

His blood boiled with mating lust.

他因压抑的性欲而热血沸腾

Well why why don't you start with a cup of coffee

那你何不先喝上杯咖啡

and you can Pon Farr Amy Farrah Fowler later.

晚点就可以跟艾米·菲拉·福勒发发情了

I don't drink coffee.

我不喝咖啡的

All right you can have a hot chocolate.

好吧那就喝杯热巧克力

As I will not be engaging in this nonsense my choice of beverage is moot.

反正我不会去做这种无聊事选什么饮料无关紧要

But for the record

但我正式说明下

(每年九月至次年四月月份英文中都带有R字母)

I only drink hot chocolate in months with an "R" In them.

我只在月份中带有R字母那月才喝热巧克力

Why

为什么

What's life without whimsy

不为无益之事何以遣有涯之生

Okay I'm out.

好吧我没辙了

Sheldon I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof

谢尔顿我把屋顶拿来的一只脏袜子

somewhere in your apartment.

藏在你们公寓里了

Unless you are willing to come with us to meet this girl

除非你愿意跟我们去见那女孩

it will remain there forever.

不然它会永远藏在那

You're bluffing.

你只是在吓唬我

Are you willing to risk it

你真愿意冒这个险吗

Curse you.

诅咒你

30 feet.

30英尺

Oh. Hey Leonard.

你好莱纳德

I was a perfectly happy geeky little lonely guy

我本是个完美的小个子剩男快乐又书呆

and you ruined me

是你毁了我

Are you drunk

你喝醉了吗

Come on. We're gonna have sex and it's not gonna mean a thing

拜托我们上床吧反正也是没有意义的

Are you out of your mind

你疯了吗

I'm really starting to think there's a double standard here.

我真的开始认为这是双重标准了

In a few minutes

几分钟后

when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise

等我幸灾乐祸地冷眼旁观着本次相亲的失败

how would you prefer I do it

你们更愿意我怎么做

The standard "I told you so"

是标准答案我早说过会这样

The classic "Neener neener"

还是经典的"哦也哦也"[表嘲讽]

Or just my normal look of haughty derision

还是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情

You don't know we're wrong yet.

现在还不能断定我们错了

Haughty derision it is.

还是高傲嘲弄表情吧

Excuse me.

打扰下

I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. You're Sheldon Cooper.

我是艾米·菲拉·福勒你是谢尔顿·库珀

Hello Amy Farrah Fowler.

你好艾米·菲拉·福勒

I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in

我很遗憾地告诉你你上当了

by unsupportable mathematics

被设计用来欺骗

designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely.

很傻很天真剩男剩女的无知算法骗了

Additionally I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.

此外我是被一只藏起来的脏袜子勒索了才来的

If that was slang I'm unfamiliar with it.

那是俚语的话我从没听说过

If it was literal I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.

要是字面意义的话我跟你一样讨厌脏袜子

In any case I'm here because my mother and I have agreed

无论如何我来这是因为答应了我妈

that I will date at least once a year.

每年至少约会一次

Interesting.

有意思

My mother and I have the same agreement about church.

我跟我妈在关于上教堂这点上有过同样对话

I don't object to the concept of a deity

我并不反对神的概念

but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

但实在不理解上教堂还得点名

Well then you might want to avoid East Texas.

那你应该不会想去德州东部

Noted.

记住了

Now before this goes any further

相亲继续进行之前

you should know that all forms of physical contact

我先声明所有身体接触

up to and including coitus are off the table.

包括但并不限于交媾均不予讨论

May I buy you a beverage

能请你喝杯饮料吗

Tepid water please.

温水谢谢

Good God what have we done

天哪瞧瞧我们干了什么

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