生活大爆炸-S04E23_生活大爆炸

S01

No I did what any son would do.

不我只是尽了一个儿子应尽的义务而已

No she wouldn't.

对她不会说的

Hey do me a favor and take Table Seven.

嗨帮我个忙去七号桌点菜吧

You mean the one with my 118 pound

你是说有我那个118磅重的

rock hard stud of a fiance

性欲旺盛的最近可能得了

who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye

口腔溃疡和红眼病的未婚夫的那桌吗

Nah I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex boyfriend

不对我更愿意看作是有我的前男友

and his gorgeous successful and sophisticated girlfriend

和她那美丽成功而知性的女友的那桌

who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.

那女孩让我觉得自己就像个没用的乡巴佬

Do you want me to spill hot soup on her

你想让我往她身上洒热汤吗

Oh please you're not that kind of person.

拜托你不是那种人

I know.

我知道

But if she orders something low fat

但如果她点了低脂食物的话

I'll totally give her the full fat version.

我绝对可以给她端上全脂的

Uh that's my water.

这杯水是我的

What

什么

My water. You're drinking it.

我的水你喝的是我的水

D Dear Lord

苍天啊

Have you been drinking it

你喝过吗

Yes. It's my water.

肯定啊都说了是我的水了

Well that's it then.

那完蛋了

I'm dead.

我死翘翘了

Here we go...

又来了

I'm sorry do I really need to connect the dots for you

不好意思但非得让我把话挑明了吗

The backwash into this glass

流回到这个杯子里的

is every pathogen that calls your mouth home sweet home.

是在你那所谓温暖的家的嘴里待过的每一个病原体

Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue

更别提那些来自你那次大陆女友的

of your subtropical girlfriend.

舌头上的外来病原体了

Hey That's my sister

喂你这是在诋毁

and my country you're talking about.

我妹妹和我的祖国

Leonard may have defiled one

莱纳德也许玷污了其中一个

but I won't have you talking smack about the other.

但我绝对不允许你再侮辱另外一个

You guys ready to order

你们准备好点菜了吗

Yes I'd like a seven day course of penicillin

准备好了我要七天疗程的青霉素

some uh syrup of ipecac to induce vomiting.

一定量的吐根糖浆催吐用的

and a mint.

再来颗薄荷糖

I don't understand.

我没听明白

He drank from Leonard's glass.

他喝了莱纳德杯子里的水

"He drank from Leonard's glass"

"他喝了莱纳德杯子里的水"

the words they'll be carving into my tombstone.

这句话得刻在我的墓碑上

That's actually my napkin.

这餐巾其实也是我的

Oh this is a nightmare

坑死爹了

Where are you going To the bar

-你要去哪儿 -去酒吧

to sterilize my mouth with alcohol.

用酒精给口腔消毒

Gang way Dead man walking

快让开行尸走肉来了

All right. Here you go.

好的拿好了

Two lemonades

两杯柠檬汽水

one iced tea

一杯冰茶

and a root beer for Priya.

还有普丽娅的一杯根汁汽水

Is it diet That's what you ordered.

-是无糖的吗 -这就是你点的

Thank you.

谢谢

Hey have you and Howard

嗨你和霍华德

started planning your wedding yet

开始计划婚礼了吗

Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff

嗯我们想在一个能俯视大海的

overlooking the ocean.

悬崖上办婚礼

Nothing soothes those pre wedding jitters

没什么能比担心摔下去溺死

like the thought of falling and drowning.

更能缓解婚礼前的紧张了

What did your mother say

你跟你妈妈说

when you told her you were getting married

你俩要结婚的时候她说啥了吗

He hasn't told her yet.

他还没跟他妈妈说

He's waiting for the right time.

他在等合适的时机

I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.

其实我想把这事儿编进悼词里

Howard you've got to tell your mother.

霍华德你必须告诉你妈妈

Hey have you told your parents you're dating

喂你跟你爸妈说了你在

this short glass of skim milk here

跟这一小杯"脱脂牛奶"约会吗

Uh... that's different.

呃这不一样

First of all we're not engaged

首先我们还没订婚

and second Indian parents

其次印度父母

are very protective of their children.

都对孩子很不放心的

Right right whereas Jewish mothers

是啊是啊而犹太母亲

take a casual la di da approach to their sons.

一般都任自己的儿子自生自灭的

I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.

我在用龙舌兰酒漱口的时候貌似咽下了一点点

You all right Fine.

-你没事吧 -没事

Thank you for asking.

多谢关心

I love you so much.

我好爱你哦

Fire demon.

火魔

Ooh fire demon.

哇火魔

Sheldon's turning up the heat...

谢尔顿开始引爆游戏热度了

Troll master.

巨怪首领

Check it Howard pulls one out

看啊霍华德从流氓团伙里

from under the bridge. Nice

拽出了一只巨怪首领漂亮

Water nymph.

水仙女

Oh yeah she's got puddles

哦也她的"那个地方"

in all the right places.

充满了粘液

Could you please play the game

劳驾您能在打牌的时候

without commenting on every card

别老是打一张解说一句吗

Sorry.

抱歉

Walking tree.

树怪

Last one.

下不为例

I'm taking a stroll and I'm sporting wood.

我是运动的树我在散步

Okay the Eagle has landed.

好吧终于还是发生了

What's going on

怎么了

Bernadette and my mother are having

伯纳黛特和我妈妈正在

a get to know you lunch at the Old Town Deli.

老镇餐厅第一次共进午餐

Oh that sounds lovely.

听起来不错啊

Hope so.

但愿如此

Of course if history is any indication

当然根据以往的经验

my mother will swallow her whole

我老妈会把她囫囵吞了

and spit out her bones like an owl.

然后像猫头鹰一样把骨头吐出来

Have you met Bernadette's parents

你见过伯纳黛特的父母了吗

You mean Adolf and Eva

你是说希特勒和爱娃吗

(阿道夫·希特勒曾疯狂地屠杀过犹太人爱娃是他的老婆)

Not yet.

还没呢

One goose step at a time.

一步一步来嘛

Sheldon that's my water.

谢尔顿这杯水是我的

Oh dear Lord

苍天啊

That's not your water.

那杯水不是你的

I know.

我知道

Where's the mouthwash

我的漱口液在哪儿呢

"Where" indeed.

在哪儿呢

Ma I'm home

妈我回来了

Where are you

你在哪

I'm in the toilet

我在厕所

So how'd it go

进行得怎么样

Too soon to say

现在还说不准呢

I'm not done yet

我还没拉完呢

No I mean lunch today with Bernadette

我是说你跟伯纳黛特的午饭吃的怎么样

I had a pastrami sandwich.

我吃了个五香熏肉三明治

She had eggplant lasagna.

她吃了个茄子肉酱千层面

Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli.

就好像在犹太餐馆就该点这种东西吃

Besides food did you get along

除了吃的以外呢你们相处得怎么样

Did you talk

你们聊天了吗

Oh sure Did you know she's going to school

当然了你知道吗

to become a microbiologist

她正在读微生物学呢

No she never mentioned it.

不知道她还真没提过

I bet she did and you didn't listen

她肯定提过是你没注意听

Yeah that's probably it. So what do you think

没准吧那你觉得她怎么样

Do you like her She's great huh

你喜欢她吗她是个好女孩对吧

She's a lovely girl

她是个挺可爱的

Cute as a button

超级可爱

That's good to hear 'cause I've got some news.

听你这么说我就放心了因为我有事要跟你说

I hope it's good news

最好是好事

because I've got nothing but disappointment in here

因为我在厕所里进展可不怎么样都快郁闷死了

Bernadette and I are getting married.

我要跟伯纳黛特结婚了

妈

You too busy bearing down

你正忙着使劲呢吗

妈

Oh my God Ma Ma Ma

天啊妈妈妈

Stand back I'm gonna break the door down

退后点我要撞门了

Son of a bitch Ma help

该死的妈救我

Hello.

你好

Haven't seen you in a while.

好久不见了

How's it going

你最近咋样啊

Oh other than waiting out the exponential growth period

除了等着那些致命的有机物

of the virulent organisms

沿着我的绒毛组织

trooping through my microvilli

侵入我的血液循环系统外

into my circulatory system hunky dory.

就没啥特别的了

Did I say something amusing

很好笑吗

I don't know maybe I have no idea what you said.

不知道也许吧我完全没听懂你在说什么

So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy

这么说你刚才的欢笑声只是为了释放你的紧张情绪

with no semantic content at all

没有任何实际意义咯

My mirth. Classic.

我的欢笑声还真是谢尔顿的经典语录啊

Is there a station coming up

我啥时候才能理解

where I can board your giggling train of thought

你这些奇怪的笑声呀

It's not a big deal Sheldon.

这没啥大不了的谢尔顿

It's just ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister

只是自从莱纳德跟拉杰的妹妹在一起之后

I've had to keep my distance.

我就得跟你们保持距离了

I don't get to hear all your jibber jabber.

我就没机会听你的这些胡言乱语了

Jibber jabber

胡言乱语

I don't jibber jabber.

我才不会胡言乱语呢

What are you doing at work these days

你这段时间上班都忙什么呢

Oh I'm working on time dependent backgrounds

我在研究弦理论的

in string theory

时间依赖性

specifically quantum field theory

尤其是量子场论

in "d dimensional" de Sitter space.

在德西特时空d维空间中的应用

Okay come on even you have to admit that's jibber jabber.

拜托这下你总得承认那是胡言乱语了吧

Interesting do you know

有意思你知不知道

where the phrase "jibber jabber" comes from

胡言乱语这个词是怎么来的

Oh my God you're about to jibber jabber

天啊你就要说一堆关于胡言乱语的

about jibber jabber.

胡言乱语了

Howard and his mother are at the hospital.

霍华德和他妈进医院了

Come on we gotta go. Oh my God What happened

-快点咱们走 -天啊出什么事了

I don't know I just got a text. Come on hurry.

不知道我只是收到短信而已快点快走

Okay.

好吧

Sheldon let's go

谢尔顿走啦

To a hospital

去医院吗

Full of sick people

那个满是病人的地方

Oh I don't think so.

我才不去呢

Okay well your friend and his mother are there

你朋友和他母亲都进医院了

we're going.

你非去不可

I can't.

我不要

Oh don't tell me you're afraid of germs.

别跟我说你怕细菌啊

Not all germs.

不是所有的细菌

Just the ones that will kill me.

我只怕那些会让我病死的细菌

It's the same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives

就像是我并不是害怕所有的餐刀

just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.

我只怕那些会捅死我的餐刀

Fine I'll tell Howard you didn't come

好吧那我就跟霍华德说

because you're more concerned

你没去医院是因为比起他的健康

about your own well being than his.

你更担心你自己的身体

I would think he would know that.

我想他是很清楚这一点的

Okay you know what You are unbelievable.

好吧算了吧你简直不可理喻

You buy all these superhero T shirts

你买了那么多超级英雄的恤衫

but when it's time for you

可是到了你该挺身而出

to step up and do the right thing

做点正确的事的时候

you just hide in the laundry room.

你就只会躲在洗衣房里

Fine I'll go.

好吧我去就是了

Just for the record

不过事先声明

my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.

我的舅妈露丝就是死在医院里的

She went in to visit my Uncle Roger

她去医院探望我舅舅罗杰

caught something and bit the dust a week later.

结果却染上了病结果一周后就挂了

The two of them now share a coffee can

他俩现在都被装在我妈壁炉架上的

on my mother's mantel.

同一个咖啡罐里

So I knocked down the bathroom door

于是我撞开了洗手间的门

picked up my poor unconscious mother

抬起我那不省人事的母亲

carried her to the car

把她抱上车

and drove like a madman to the emergency room.

然后像个疯子一样开来了急诊室

You're a real hero Howard.

你真是个英雄霍华德

Hang on a second you picked up your mother

等一下你抱起了你母亲

Her own legs are barely able to do that.

她的体重连她自己的双腿都支撑不住

I was filled with adrenaline.

都是肾上腺素的作用

It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.

就像是母亲为了救出车下的婴儿可以把车抬起来一样

Yeah I'm saying it'd be easier to lift a car.

我就是这个意思抬车都比抬你妈容易

What can I tell you After I found the courage

怎么说呢在我鼓足了勇气

to put her pants back on I was unstoppable.

提上她的裤子之后人类就阻挡不了我了

So how is she

你妈妈现在怎样

They're running tests I don't know.

还在作检查我不知道

It may have been a heart attack or heart attack like event.

可能是心脏病发作或类似心脏病发作

What's the difference

有何区别

A heart attack like event

类似心脏病发作

is an event that's like a heart attack.

就是指类似发作心脏病的症状

Thanks for clearing that up.

谢谢说明

Regardless coronary problems are eminently treatable.

当然冠状心脏疾患是可治的

What's more likely going to kill Howard's mother

真正害死霍华德妈妈的

are the antibiotic resistant super bugs

是在这医院每条沟沟壑壑里

festering in every nook and cranny of this hospital.

溃烂着的耐抗生素的超级臭虫们

Okay you're not helping.

拜托你别添乱了

Disagree.

我不同意

Go sit over there.

去那边坐着去

I'll sit over there it looks cleaner.

我要坐那里看着更干净

Is there a history of heart disease in your family

你们家族有心脏病史吗

My family is the history of heart disease.

我的家族史整个就是一心脏病史

There's a cave painting in France

法国有处洞穴壁画

of one of my ancestors doing this

画的就是我一老祖宗在这样

So it's probably genetic.

那这可能是遗传的咯

Well maybe.

可能吧

Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her.

妈妈还听到了些可能让她心烦的消息

What

什么

It's not important.

这不重要

Come on Howard I'm going to be your wife.

说吧霍华德我将是你妻子

You can share anything with me.

你可以跟我分享任何事

You'd think that. But no.

你这么想但并不是的

You told her we were going to get married

你告诉她我们要结婚

and she had a heart attack

然后她就心脏病发作了吗

You can't take that personally.

你千万别多想

How else is she supposed to take it

那让她还能怎么想

What you've got to keep in mind is that

你只要记住的是

ever since my dad left

我爸去世后

I've been the whole world to my mother.

我就是我妈妈的整个世界

I mean she'd be threatened by any woman

她会觉得其他能做到她所不能的

who can give me what she can't.

任何女人都是威胁

You mean sexual intercourse

你是指性爱

Well when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.

你这么一说就显得怪怪的

What happened

怎么了

Howard's mother had a heart attack

霍华德妈妈心脏病发作

because I have sex with him and she can't.

是因为我跟他上床而她自己不能

Bernie wait

妮妮等等

I'll give you $1 000 if you'll drive me home.

你载我回家我就给你一千块

Nice of you to come for Howard.

你能来医院看霍华德真好

Well he's my friend. It's what you do.

他是我朋友嘛应该的

I'm sorry did I miss something

抱歉怎么了

It's just so weird.

只是觉得怪怪的

Howard Wolowitz is my friend.

霍华德·沃罗威茨是我朋友

You know once he tried to stick his tongue down my throat

有次他想深吻我

and I broke his nose.

被我打破了鼻子

That's a little easier to believe than he's your friend.

这比他是你朋友更容易相信点

Yeah tell me about it.

是啊谁说不是呢

You know my brother had a group of friends like this in India.

我哥在印度有一大群像他一样的朋友

They dressed up in leotards and goggles

都穿紧身连衣裤戴护目镜

and called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.

并自称"新德里恐龙战队"

You mean when he was little.

你是指他小时候吗

Not as little as you'd want him to be.

没你想的那么小

You know this stuff is horrible.

这咖啡太难喝了

You want to see if we can find the cafeteria

想去找看看有没餐厅

and get real coffee Sure.

-买杯好咖啡吗 -当然

We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee.

我们要去餐厅买咖啡

You want anything

有人要吗

I'm fine.

我不用了

That's nice that they're getting along.

她们能合得来真好

Your girlfriend and your ex girlfriend are hanging out together

你现任和前任女友一起玩

Oh yeah that can only be good for you.

没错对你来说只可能是好事

What are you talking about

你什么意思啊

One of them broke up with you.

其中一位跟你分手了

Do you really want her telling the other one why

你真想她告诉另一位为什么吗

I don't care.

无所谓

I don't have anything to hide.

我又没什么藏着掖着

Good good.

很好很好

Then you have nothing to worry about.

那你就没什么好担心的了

No I do not.

对我一点不担心

You are a mean little man.

你这个卑鄙小人

You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me

你这么以为是因为我父母并不爱我

but actually they loved me a great deal.

但事实上他们非常爱我

Bernie it's not you.

妮妮绝不是因为你

She's just set in her ways.

那只是她自以为是

How can we be together if the thought of us

那我们还怎么能在一起如果

getting married might kill your mother

我们结婚可能会害死你妈啊

It's the circle of life sweetie.

这就是生命的轮回啊亲爱的

One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.

未来有天我们儿子结婚会害死你

Howard I have to go to the bathroom

霍华德我得上洗手间

and no one will take me home.

但没人肯载我回家

What's wrong with the bathroom here

这里的洗手间怎么了

Pneumococcus streptococcus staphylococcus

这里有肺炎球菌链球菌葡萄球菌

and other assorted coccuses.

和其他各种球菌

Sheldon my mother is on her deathbed

谢尔顿我妈生命垂危

and my fiance is grief stricken over putting her there.

而我未婚妻正极度悲伤于害她入院

I'm not taking you home.

我才不要载你回家

Will you at least go with me to the restroom here

那你至少能陪我去厕所吗

so you can open the door and flush the urinal

好帮我开个门冲个尿池

不去

This might be a good time to point out Howard

现在或许是指出真理的最佳时期霍华德

that friendship requires a certain give and take.

友情在一定程度上是需要相互忍让的

Hold the door.

先别关门

Mr. Wolowitz

沃罗威茨先生

Is she okay It wasn't a heart attack.

-她还好吗 -您母亲不是心脏病突发

She's awake she's resting comfortably

她现在醒了在安稳地休息呢

we're still running tests.

我们还在为她做身体检查

Can I see her

我可以进去看她吗

Actually she said and I quote

其实她有吩咐原话是这样的

she'd "like to see the little Catholic girl first."

她想"先见那个天主教的小妞"

Me Why me

我为什么是我

Jews have been asking that for centuries.

这个问题犹太人扪心自问了好几个世纪了

There's no real good answer.

至今没什么好答案

Okay well wish me luck.

好吧祝我好运

Don't worry you'll be fine.

别担心没事的

Let's just hide Mr. Cross.

先把十字架藏起来

If it touches her it burns.

如果那玩意儿碰到她会烧伤的

You brought a Catholic girl home to your mother Yeah.

-你带一个天主教的女孩回家见你妈 -是的

(在犹太人遭受的千年大迫害中十字军东征曾掀起迫害犹太人的高潮)

Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax.

那我给你开点镇静剂吧

Finally.

总是完事了

小心生化危害

采用传染性疾病护理程序

隔离室

Oh what fresh hell is this

这又是哪门子新玩意儿

Wait you can't leave here you've been exposed.

等等你不能离开这儿你已经被感染了

No I haven't.

不我没有

It's all good.

防护措施做得很好

You want to talk about crazy mothers

你想聊极品老妈这个话题吗

Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up.

莱纳德的妈妈对他没表示过半点的认可

Oh the poor thing.

可怜的小家伙

It makes him desperate to please women.

所以他才会这么渴望取悦女人

That's why the foreplay goes on and on.

也正是他的小前戏耍不停的原因

It does doesn't it

的确对吧

It's like he's trying to win a prize.

他好像为了要获得奖励一样

A word of advice don't doze off.

佩妮贴心小建议千万不要打瞌睡

You will never hear the end of it.

不然你都听不见何时结束

Help me

救我

Come back

回来

Penny

佩妮

There are a couple of things I did with Penny

我跟佩妮一起做过一些事

that might be a little silly but...

听上去可能有点傻但是

Like what

比如

Every once in a while before we'd go to bed

偶尔在我们上床前

I'd put on a little show for her.

我会为她表演点小节目

What do you mean "a show"

你的"小节目"是指什么

Well you know the way I took my clothes off.

这个嘛就是我脱衣服的方式

Like to music

比如伴着音乐

I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music.

如果没音乐那我看起来不很傻啊

So you'd do a striptease

那你跳的是脱衣舞咯

I wasn't swinging around a pole.

我又不是抱着根钢管搔首弄姿

Good good.

不错不错

There was one time I put body glitter on.

不过有次我往身上擦了闪粉

Well I don't think you have to worry

我觉得你不必为了佩妮会不会

about Penny telling my sister that.

把这事告诉我妹妹而担心

Your big problem is me telling her.

你的问题在我会不会告诉她

You really are a mean little man.

你还真是个卑鄙小人

Oh God that's so true.

天啊的确如此

Yeah I know right

的确我懂对吧

Hey what took you guys so long

你们俩怎么去这么半天

Oh we were just chatting.

我们聊天来着

That's nice. What about

不错嘛聊什么了

We were just comparing notes

我们只是对你的床上功夫

about how you are in the sack.

交换下意见而已

That's funny. Yeah.

-真有趣 -就是

What if she wasn't kidding

如果她不是在开玩笑呢

It doesn't matter.

没关系

I'm the king of foreplay.

哥可是前戏小王子

Hey how'd it go

怎么样了

You're a putz.

你个2B

You know what that means

你知道这是什么意思吗

Yeah. Do you

知道你呢

Your mother just taught it to me.

你妈刚教我的

She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli

她觉得她在那家餐厅食物中毒了

and she just wanted to make sure I was okay.

想确认下我是否没事

And are you

那你有事吗

No because I'm engaged to a putz.

有因为我跟个2B订婚了

You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack.

你让我误信她心脏病发是因为我

Well based on the available evid

那是基于现有证据嘛

Shut up

闭嘴

She said I'm a wonderful girl

你妈说我是个好女孩

and that you're lucky to have me.

能娶到我是你的福气

Where are you going

你要去哪里

To the toilet

厕所

Is that okay with you

你有意见啊

Is it just me

是我的错觉

or does she sound sexy when she's angry

还是她生气的时候声音是特别性感啊

Mountain Elf.

高山精灵

He takes the elf from off the shelf.

这精灵不是高山的是现成的

Hell Hounds.

地狱猎犬

Hell Hounds who let the Satanic dogs out

地狱猎犬啊谁把撒旦的狗放出来了

Who Who who

是谁谁谁

Colossal Serpent.

神勇巨蟒

I got a colossal serpent right here.

我裤裆里面也有条神勇的巨蟒

Must you

你非得这样吗

Sorry I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.

抱歉我只是想让你高兴点

Rotting Zombie.

腐朽僵尸

Sheldon's new Facebook photo.

谢尔顿校内新头像

Zandor Wizard of the North.

赞多北方巫师

Ha I win.

哈哈我赢了

If you skip the part about being

如果硬要省略掉

under a two week quarantine

你因为接触到致命疾病

because you were exposed to a deadly disease

而被隔离两周这件事

absolutely.

我们甘拜下风

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