生活大爆炸-S05E24_生活大爆炸

S01

Previously on The Big Bang Theory

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

Who says something like that right in the middle of sex

有谁会在做爱的时候说这样的话啊

I don't know. It was the heat of the moment

我不知道高潮时刻情不自禁嘛

No the heat of the moment is

放屁高潮时刻应该是说

"Ooh yeah just like that."

"对太爽了"

Not "Will you marry me "

而不是说"你愿意嫁给我吗"

NASA really wants my telescope up on the Space Station

可航空航天局很想把我的望远镜装上太空站

so they're putting me on an earlier launch.

所以他们要让我提前升空

When

什么时候

A week from Friday.

下周五

What We're getting married that Sunday.

什么可咱们的婚礼就在那个周日呀

You're right.

说的没错

I can't go to space.

我不能去太空

I have to get married.

我要结婚

No one can say that's not a good reason.

这个理由没人能反驳

I'll call them back.

我这就打回给他

We'll have the wedding when you get back.

等你回来咱们再举办婚礼

Your dad's going to be furious.

你爸会气疯的

There's no way he's going to let us postpone this wedding.

他不可能会同意我们延迟婚礼

Well we tried.

至少咱们努力过

I'll talk to him.

我去跟他谈

He won't say no to his little girl.

他不会拒绝他的宝贝女儿的

No I uh I should talk to him.

不应该我去跟他谈

Man to man.

来场男人跟男人间的对话

All right look I'm going to level with you.

好吧我跟你说老实话

I'm terrified about going into space.

我很害怕进入太空

You know what if I don't make it back

要是我回不来怎么办

It's going to be okay son.

会没事的女婿

You really think so

你真的这么想吗

Of course.

当然

A pretty girl like Bernadette

伯纳黛特那么漂亮

she'll find a new guy.

肯定会找到新归宿

时至今日...

发射步骤12 显示正常

发射步骤12 收到确认

Hey Mike

迈克

Yeah...

什么事

I changed my mind. I don't want to do this.

我改变主意不想去了

Good one.

这个好笑

Yeah I'm a funny guy.

没错我向来幽默

I also have a hysterical bit planned for later

我还准备了个歇斯底里的段子稍后用

where I pretend to cry through the whole launch.

整个发射过程我就狂哭给逗你们玩

Sheldon what channel is NASA TV

谢尔顿 NASA电视台是哪个频道

and the East Coast feed of the Disney Channel on 290.

和290台的东岸迪斯尼频道之间

I love his eidetic memory it's so sexy.

我就爱他超常的记忆力太性感了

Sheldon what are the ingredients in Pringles

谢尔顿品客薯片的材料有哪些

Dried potatoes vegetable oil

干土豆植物油

corn flower wheat starch

玉米小麦淀粉

maltodextrin salt

麦芽糊精盐

and my favorite ingredient of all uniformity.

还有我最喜欢的材料 "一致性"

The uterus quivers does it not

娇躯一喘子宫一颤啊对吧

There's Howard's rocket live from Kazakhstan.

那就是霍华德的火箭哈萨克斯坦现场直播

Oh God I'm so nervous.

天啊我好紧张

I don't think I can watch.

我实在看不下去了

You're nervous I've been stress eating for four days.

你有我紧张吗我紧张得暴饮暴食四天了

Look at me.

瞧我现在

I'm wearing my fat pants.

只能穿我的发福裤了

Remarkable. In just under a half hour

太震撼了在半小时后

200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion

霍华德屁股的正下方将有200公吨燃料被

right beneath Howard's keister.

定时爆炸装置点燃

All from a country

全都由一个

whose entire contribution to the global economy

对世界经济的唯一贡献只有

has been Tetris and mail order brides.

俄罗斯方块和邮购新娘的国度所准备

Give me those damn Pringles.

把该死的品客薯片给我

火箭所有系统准备就绪了吗

准备就绪

Okay we're in the final countdown.

开始进入倒计时啦

How you doing over there

你还行吧

Good Good

很好很好

Oh quick question I missed it in the briefing.

先问一下简报当时说

How much urine do these suits hold

这身制服能容纳多少尿来着

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第二十四集

Hey Froot Loops want to hit your fan switch

果麦圈客按一下你的风扇开关

Check.

完毕

因此被人拿来形容基

果麦圈有个很基的广告

He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut

他叫你果麦圈客是因为你那基友发型吗

No it's... 'cause I live with my mom

不是因为我跟妈妈住

and she makes me Froot Loops.

她有帮我弄水果麦圈早餐

Go with gay story people are more accepting of that.

还是用你很基的原因吧那个比较好接受

Actually

其实

Froot Loops just got married to a girl.

果麦圈客刚跟一个女人结婚呢

Congratulations.

恭喜

Thanks we decided to do it before the launch.

谢谢我们决定要在发射前结婚的

You and Mrs. Loops have a big wedding

你和麦圈太太举办盛大婚礼了吗

Not exactly. Listen if you don't mind

还没有两位不介意的话

I'm not really up for chatting.

我真的不打算聊天了

I'm just going to sit here quietly

我只想静静坐在这里

and let my life flash before my eyes.

让我的人生在眼前一一闪现

That went really quick. Let me try it again.

闪现得太快了我再试一遍

Close your eyes. Put out your hand.

闭上眼睛伸出手来

I got you something special.

我有礼物要送你

Come on Howard. I'm not falling for that again.

拜托霍华德我不会再上当了

No here...

不给你这个

Oh Howie.

哦华仔

A little star.

是颗星

It's beautiful.

太漂亮了

Put it on me.

帮我戴上

Okay but I'm going to have to get it back for you

好的但我一会还要收回来

so I can take it to the International Space Station.

回头带到太空站里去

That way when I come home

那样的话等我回家

you will have a star that was actually in space.

你就能拥有一颗上过太空的星

Oh... my God.

天啊

Take that every guy who's ever bought you anything.

接招吧送过你礼物的弱爆男人们

This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten.

这是我收到的最棒的礼物

Really Well if you like it that much

真的吗你真这么喜欢的话

then close your eyes and put out your hand.

闭上眼睛伸出手来

I'm going to the supermarket to buy snacks for your trip

我要去超市给你买路上吃的零食

Do you want me to get those little boxes of

要我帮你买上你最喜欢的

Froot Loops you like

水果麦圈吗

No When I eat Froot Loops

不要我吃水果麦圈的时候

the other astronauts make fun of me

别的宇航员都取笑我

Howard I don't want to wait until

霍华德我不想等到

you're back to get married.

你回来再结婚

What

什么

I want to be married to you before you get in that rocket.

我想在你还没上火箭前就嫁给你

But I'm leaving in two days.

但我过两天就要走了

What about Apple Jacks

谷物麦片要买吗

I don't need to take cereal

我不用自备麦片粥好吗

What kind of breakfast do you think

你以为你在俄罗斯

they're going to give you in Russia

他们会给你什么早饭吃啊

They invented blintzes I'll be fine

他们发明了薄卷饼饿不死我的

They invented the lightbulb in New Jersey

灯泡还是在纽泽西发明的呢

It doesn't mean they hand them out to you when you go

去纽泽西也不会有人送你灯泡啊

We'll have a quick little ceremony with just our friends

我们就跟朋友们办个小仪式就好了

we'll still have the big reception with everyone when you get back.

等你回来了还是可以再办盛大婚礼的

Okay. Let's get married.

好呀我们结婚吧

You know what I'll buy you All Bran

这样吧给你买个高纤维的

in case you get stopped up in outer space.

免得你到时候在太空便秘

So anyway we decided to go down to

总之我们决定今天下午

City Hall this afternoon get married

去市政厅领证

and then have the reception when Howard gets back.

等霍华德回来之后再摆婚宴

Great That's so good

-好啊 -太好了

I mean we know it's short notice but we'd love you all

我们知道这是临时通知但还是希望

to come with us. No no no

-大家都能出席 -不行不行不行

this is not the wedding I wanted

这不是我想要的婚礼

I want to wear my maid of honor dress

我要的是我穿着伴娘礼服

and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me

在万众瞩目下步上红毯

while a string quartet plays "The way you look tonight."

弦乐四重奏演奏着《今晚的你如此美丽》

That wasn't going to be our processional music.

我们没有要用这首歌啊

Well it was going to be mine

但我要用啊

Thank you for the invitation but I have to decline

谢谢你们的邀请但我不去了

because it doesn't sound like something I'll enjoy.

因为感觉挺没意思的

Come on Sheldon it'll be fun.

别这样谢尔顿会很有意思的

That's what you said about The Green Lantern movie.

烂片《绿灯侠》你也说过有意思啊

You were 114 minutes of wrong.

你大错特错了足足114分钟

So what do you say Amy

艾米你的答案呢

Can I wear my maid of honor dress

我能穿伴娘礼服去吗

Seriously You're going to wear that thing to City Hall

拜托你真想穿着那身衣服去市政厅啊

It's all I have left You're going to take that from me too

我就剩这点指望了连这你也要夺走吗

Amy you look great. I know.

-艾米你真漂亮 -我知道

Where'd you get a beer

你上哪弄的啤酒

From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos.

从那边有纹身的小俩口那弄的

Beautiful story they're in rival drug gangs

可歌可泣啊他们身处对立的贩毒团伙

and they're getting married.

却要冒险来结婚

Shh no one can know.

嘘别让其他人知道

Look at all these people in love.

看看这些恋爱中的人

It kind of gets you thinking doesn't it

总会让你不禁思考对吧

It does indeed.

没错确实

Leonard...

莱纳德

is it awkward being here with Penny given that

鉴于你最近向佩妮求婚了

you recently proposed to her

跟她一起来是不是很尴尬

You proposed to Penny

你向佩妮求婚了吗

I don't want to talk about it.

我不想讨论这件事

Where did he pop the question

他在哪求婚的

What did you say

你怎么回答

She said "no." Can we drop it now

她不答应能打住了么

It wasn't a real proposal.

那不算正式的求婚

Why wasn't it a real proposal

为什么不算正式求婚

He asked her during coitus.

他在交媾的时候问的

Did you get down on one knee or where you already there

你有单膝下跪吗还是本来就这姿势了

Howard don't talk like that on your wedding day.

霍华德婚礼的日子别这么说话

Sorry Ma... Bernadette.

我错了妈... 马...

Ma... Burna... You're ma Bernadette.

我"马"上收声我的伯纳黛特

Good move telling Sheldon.

多亏你告诉了谢尔顿

What I can't propose I can't talk to my friends

怎么不许我求婚也不许我跟朋友说吗

Is there anything else I'm not allowed to do

还有什么事是我不许做的啊

All right that's enough.

够了别吵了

Today is not about you two.

今天的主角不是你们俩

Today is about Howard and Bernadette

今天的主角是霍华德和伯纳黛特

and me.

还有我

Folks can I have your attention.

各位请注意

It's five 0'clock

现在已经五点了

we're going to be able to take three more couples.

我们只能再注册三对新人

The rest of you will have to come back on Monday.

其他的人星期一再过来吧

Oh no.

不是吧

I got this.

交给我

Excuse me

不好意思

But is there any way you could squeeze us in

能不能通融一下让我们先注册

See I'm an astronaut and

其实我是一名宇航员

I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday so

我周日就要去俄罗斯

I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station.

乘坐联盟号火箭上国际空间站了

Yeah me too. I'll see you there.

我也是呢到时候见

I can't believe we're not going to get married.

我不敢相信我们结不成婚了

Excuse me I'm going to go see if the couple

失陪一下我过去看看

at the front of the line needs a maid of honor.

排在前面的新人需不需要伴娘

So I tell my wife

我跟我老婆说

"get a dog don't get a dog I'm not walking it

"买狗或者不买狗

I'm not feeding it I'm not picking up after it."

我就在这里我就不遛狗不喂不清"

You know you're going to wind up walking it.

遛狗就是祸是祸躲不过

I know.

我知道

Uh shouldn't you guys be talking about

你们不是该说些太空的事吗

space stuff instead of dogs

怎么说起狗来了

Dimitri

迪米特里

Froot Loops would be more comfortable

果麦圈客说我们谈谈

if we talked about space stuff.

太空的事他会比较舒坦

Okay

行啊

I'm going into space

我要去太空了

and when I come back I have to pick up a poodle crap.

回来后老子还得去捡狗屎

Is that better

这样好点没

Thanks.

谢你们全家啊

You know we could always drive to Vegas and get married.

其实我们可以开车去拉斯维加斯结婚啊

No it's that kind of tacky

那也太俗气老套了吧

Hey I know tons of people who got married in Vegas.

我就认识很多在那里结婚的人呢

Are any of them still married

有到现在还没离婚的吗

Yeah I mean not to the same people but...

有啊配偶不是同一个罢了

There's got to be some place special we could do it.

天下之大一定有能让我们结婚的特别之地

Leonard where did you envision marrying Penny

莱纳德你以前想象在哪跟佩妮结婚呢

Will you shut up

你别哪壶不开提哪壶

Well I know how to make it special.

我知道怎么办比较特别

音乐之声舞台剧/电影

I told you we are not recreating the wedding

我说过我们不模仿《音乐之声》

from The Sound of Music.

里面的婚礼

Yes you made that brutally clear to me.

我知道你早残忍地跟我挑明了

What I was going to suggest is

我想建议的是

if that you're willing to wait until Sunday morning

如果你们愿意等到星期天早上结婚

the Google satellite will be over Pasadena.

谷歌的卫星会经过帕萨迪纳上空

You can have your wedding photographed from space.

卫星将会从太空拍下你们婚礼的照片

Oh... That's so cool.

哇酷毙了

Oh way to go Raj. I keep telling you

-挺有想法的嘛拉杰 -我一直说

if I wasn't an astrophysicist

如果我没去当天体物理学家

I would have been a party planner.

肯定会去当派对策划人

It was always a coin flip.

凡事都有两面性嘛

Okay so we know we're going to do it Sunday morning.

好仪式的时间定在周日早上

Now we need to find a good place for the satellite to see us.

现在得找一个卫星照得到我们的好位置

How about our roof

我们屋顶如何

Oh I like that. That's great.

-我喜欢 -不错

Oh my gosh. I can't believe my maid of honor dress

天啊真不敢相信我的伴娘服

is going to be on Google Earth.

要上谷歌地球的空照图了

So we have the where and the when

地点和时间已经有了

but we still need to figure out who's going to do the ceremony.

就差婚礼的证婚人了

Well that's easy. Anyone can go online

那简单谁都可以上网

and get ordained as a minister.

受任当证婚牧师

I know a piercing parlor where for a hundred bucks

我知道一家刺青穿洞店只要100块

they'll marry you and stick a wedding ring

他们就帮你证婚你送你免费穿洞

through any body part you want.

想把婚戒穿入哪部位都行

Great well who's it going to be

不错那谁来当证婚人呢

I'll do it

我来吧

provided I can perform the ceremony in Klingon.

前提是得让用克林贡语主持仪式

No.

没门儿

What do you see in her

你是看上她哪点啊

指挥中心请再说一次漏的速度有多快

Leaking What's leaking

漏什么漏了

Fuel. Shh.

当然是燃料啊安静

还行

应该可以照常发射

收到谢谢指挥中心

There's fuel leaking and we're still going to go

燃料在泄漏我们还要照常发射啊

Don't lose your Froot Loops Froot Loops.

别吓掉你的"圈子"[戒指]哦果麦圈客

This happens a lot.

这事经常发生

Nine times out of ten no problem.

十次有九次都屁事没有

What happens on the tenth time

那第十次呢

Problem.

身后事

Hey guys before I forget

伙计们趁我还记得

I got you a little groomsman present.

我给你们准备了伴郎小谢礼

Oh thanks man. You didn't have to do that.

-谢谢 -你太客气了

Fantastic Four annual number three from 1965

《神奇四侠》 1965年第三册

in mint condition.

全新未拆封

The one where Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl get married.

就是神奇先生和隐形女侠结婚的那集

Oh dear.

哎哟喂

I was afraid of this. What

-我就害怕这样 -哪样

While a thoughtful gift

虽然是很有心思的礼物

this comic book in this condition

但状态良好的这本漫画

is worth at least a hundred dollars.

现在至少值100块钱呢

Yeah so

是啊然后呢

I bought you and Bernadette a gravy boat worth $88.

我送给你和贝纳黛特的船形调味壶才88块

Which places me in your debt

这样就变成我欠你了

and I can't be in your debt

而我不想欠你

because someday you might ask me to help you move...

因为哪天你可能会让我帮忙搬家

...or to kill a man.

...或帮你去杀人

I doubt he'll ask you to kill a man.

想杀人也不会找你帮吧

Well what if it's his only way out

万一他没得选了呢

I can't risk it.

我不能冒这个险

Here is $12.

这里是12块

Now we're even.

现在不拖不欠了

Wait...

慢着

I bought a card. Give me two dollars.

我还有送卡片退我2块钱

And for the record this is why I hate gift giving.

所以我说嘛我最讨厌送礼了

Who is it

谁呀

It's the groom.

新郎

You can't come in. Bad luck to see the bride.

你不能进来婚前见新娘会倒霉的

Okay uh fine.

好吧

Bernie I have to go pick up my mother

妮妮我得去接我妈

I'll be right back

马上就回来

Why can't she drive herself

她为什么不能自己开车过来

She doesn't want to sit in her dress and wrinkle it

她不想坐皱她的裙子

so I'm going to lay her down in the back of my neighbor's van

得让她平躺在小面包车后座才能载过来

All right just hurry

好吧快去快回

Okay I'll see you later Ma... uh...

收到妈... 马...

lovely bride to be.

"马"上见哦准新娘

I really got to watch that.

我真得好好注意下了

Come on Raj we're ready to start.

快点拉杰可以开始了

What we're ready

什么可不可以

when I say we're ready.

得我说了才算

Okay now we're ready.

好了现在可以开始了

Ma you want to move your chair over here so you can see

妈不坐过来怎么看得到啊

I'm fine where I am

坐这儿就挺好

I don't want to fall off the roof

我可不想从屋顶上摔下去

You'll fall through the roof before you fall off it.

在你摔下去前屋顶早被你压穿了

Penny.

佩妮

Your new mother in law's a piece of work.

你的新婆婆是个狠角色啊

Not now Dad.

老爸稍后再谈

She's got a bigger mustache than me.

她的胡子比我的还"雄壮威武"

Here you go.

上吧少年

"Here you go" What am I a football

什么"上吧少年" 我又不是橄榄球

Like that guy could catch a football.

他这废柴要真能接到橄榄球就好了

Howard and Bernadette

霍华德伯纳黛特

the five of us stand before you as your friends

今天我们作为你们的朋友兼牧师

and newly ordained ministers.

站在你们的面前

Louder

大声点

They all got ordained they're all marrying us

他们都有牧师资格要一起给我们证婚

it's adorable

场面超有爱

If you want to hear it come closer

欲知详情滚过来听

Guys when I look at the two of you

两位当我看到你们

starting your lives together it fills... my heart...

即将开始共度的人生旅程时我心...

It fills my... heart...

我心充满...

Okay I'm going to need a minute.

我需要点时间平复一下

Okay I'll I'll go.

还是我来致辞吧

Howard and Bernadette I know you two

霍华德与伯纳黛特我知道

planned on getting married in a big fancy wedding

这与你们计划的美妙婚宴大相径庭

but when you're in love

但只要彼此相爱

it doesn't matter where or how these things happen.

人间处处能成婚形式不过锦上添花

It just matters that you have each other.

因为拥有对方便拥有全世界

Problem

有意见吗

No.

没有

I think the Reverend Hofstadter is making an ironic connection

我想牧师霍夫斯塔特是在讽刺

between your statement about love and your rejection

你对爱情的看法以及

of his proposal in the bedroom.

在你房里求婚被拒的事

Oh grow up. Hey I didn't say it.

-少幼稚了你 -话又不是我说的

All right that's enough from the both of you.

够了你们两个都收声

Well he started it

他先挑事的

Well I'm ending it

那我息事可以了吧

Bernadette I want to thank you

伯纳黛特我想感谢你

for allowing me to be your maid of honor.

给我当你伴娘的机会

I also want you to know

我也想告诉你

that I will be happy to do it again

如果你们以离婚告终

if this marriage craps out.

我也愿再当你的伴娘

Thank you Amy.

谢谢致辞艾米

Very touching.

"感人肺腑"啊

Howard and Bernadette

霍华德伯纳黛特

you are lucky enough to be best friends who love each other.

能与最好的朋友彼此相爱实乃三生有幸

And that's the strongest kind of love

这样的爱情比金坚

because at its core it has kindness

因为你们的爱充满着善意

patience and respect.

耐心与尊重

Qualities that are hard to find in people these days.

这些优点在"某些人"身上偏寻不得啊

Would you like some aloe vera

要来点芦荟修复精华吗

You just got burned.

你被人虐得体无完肤啊

All right my turn.

好啦轮到我了

Howard Bernadette...

霍华德伯纳黛特

[克林贡语]

Sheldon I told you no Klingon

谢尔顿说了不许用克林贡语

Fine I'll do it in English

好吧我用英语说

but it loses something.

但祝辞会略失风味

The need to find another human being

人穷尽一生追寻另一个人类

to share one's life with

共度一生的事

has always puzzled me.

我一直无法理解

Maybe because I'm so interesting all by myself.

或许我自己太有意思无需他人陪伴

With that being said may you find as much happiness

所以我祝你们在对方身上得到的快乐

with each other as I find on my own.

与我给自己的一样多

The Klingon would have made you cry.

克林贡版本绝对能让你们痛哭流涕

I believe you two have prepared vows

你们两个准备了婚誓吧

Howard Joel Wolowitz

霍华德·约尔·沃罗威茨

like you this is going to be short and sweet.

我的婚誓如同你短小但美妙

I love you with all my heart and soul

我全心全意从灵魂深处爱着你

and promise to be with you forever.

我愿一生一世与你永不分离

Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...

伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯滕科斯基

Speak up

大声点

Hey from now on

喂现在起

she's the only women who can yell at me

能吼我的女人只有她一个

Until I met you

遇到你之前

I couldn't imagine

一生一爱

spending my life with just one person...

共度一生对我如同天方夜谭

...and now I can't imagine

而现在

spending one day of it without you.

分离一刻便有如生离死别

By the power vested in us by the state of California...

以我们被加利福尼亚州所赋予的权利

and the Klingon High Council...

与克林贡最高议会

...we now pronounce you husband and wife.

我们现在宣布你们成为夫妻

That's ignition.

开始点火了

I love this part

我爱死这部分了

Me too

我也爱

I have strongly mixed feelings

我内心五味杂陈啊

Oh my God it's happening.

天啊要开始了

Did I miss it

我错过了吗

No come on in. Hurry.

没快来看

I love that man.

他是我的挚爱

Me too.

也是我的

I can't believe it.

真不敢相信

This whole time a small part of me thought he was lying.

之前我心里总是对这事有小小的怀疑

This is it.

时刻已到

Boldly go Howard Wolowitz.

勇往直前吧霍华德·沃罗威茨

NOy vay...

亲娘咧

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