生活大爆炸-S10E13_生活大爆炸

S01

You said make an effort.

明明是你叫我要努力的

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

Please stop crying. I'm begging you.

别哭了我求你了

I don't know what else to do.

我不知道还有什么招了

My boobs are empty.

我的奶水都没了

Do you want lasagna

你要吃千层面吗

It's okay it's okay.

好啦好啦

What have we done

我们造了什么孽啊

时至今日

What... what's all this

这些...是怎么回事

Well it sounded like you were having a rough day

因为你听起来今天挺辛苦的

so I wanted you to come home to something nice.

我就想让你回到一个美好的家嘛

Oh that is so thoughtful.

你真是太贴心了

Hey do you remember when we went wine tasting in Santa Barbara

你还记得我们去圣巴巴拉市品酒

and you said that was the best rose you'd ever had

你说这是你喝过最好喝的玫瑰红吗

Yeah I remember us driving up there

我就记得我们开车去那边

going to the winery and...

进了酿酒厂然后...

that's it.

就断片了

And this wine is why.

这酒就是你断片的原因啊

Hey what smells so good

什么东西这么香

I made your favorite pizza bagels

我做了最爱吃的披萨贝果

Pink wine and pizza bagels

玫瑰红酒加披萨贝果

It's like eighth grade all over again.

感觉又重回8年级那会儿了

I am so lucky to have you.

有你真幸运

Well now be careful these are hot.

小心这个很烫

I I could explain the thermodynamics

虽然我能解释这个的热力学

of why the cheese seems hotter than the crust

就是为什么起司看起来比披萨边烫

but instead I'm gonna keep it to myself.

但我决定把解释留在自己心里

You always know what not to say.

你总是知道什么不该说

I just I can't believe you did all this.

我只是不敢相信你布置了这一切

Well you know

是这样的

it's easy to take each other for granted and

相处久了很容易不拿对方当一回事

I never want to do that to you because

我永远不想这样对你因为...

your love

你的爱

it's like a river.

就像一条河

It's peaceful and deep.

平静又深邃

Your soul is it's like a secret

你的灵魂就像个秘密

that I never could keep.

我永远也守不住

You did not just quote an NSYNC song.

你居然还引用了超级男孩的歌词

I quoted your favorite NSYNC song.

引用自你最爱的超级男孩歌曲

Damn. I burped so hard

靠我打太大一个嗝

I died in my game.

我在游戏里都死了

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait

The Earth began to cool

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

That all started with a big bang

Bang

By aBU 201702

生

活

大

爆

炸

第十季第十三集

Leonard I've been meaning to ask you

莱纳德我想问你好久

what size shoe do you wear

你穿多大的鞋子

Why

怎么了

I'm trying to take more of an interest in other people's lives.

我在尝试对别人的生活感兴趣

That's nice. I wear a size eight and a half.

那很好啊我穿八号半的鞋

That's small.

脚好小啊

So tell me do you have any plans for the weekend

说说你这周末有没有什么安排吧

Are you gonna laugh at the answer

你会取笑我的答案吗

Only if the answer is "Shopping for baby shoes."

除非你的答案是"去买婴儿鞋"

If you must know

如果你真想知道

Penny won a spa weekend from work

佩妮公司奖给她去水疗度假村度周末

and she's taking me.

她要带我去

Oh well you know that is interesting.

这还真挺有趣呢

I wonder what kind of infection you'll come home with.

忍不住想看你会感染哪些东西回家

My money's on fungal.

我赌真菌感染

They're still having girls' night across the hall.

女生们还在对面办女生之夜

Oh so hang out with me and we'll have boys' night.

那你来我这咱们办男生之夜啊

At our age

我们这年纪了

why don't we call it man's night

为什么不称呼为爷们之夜

Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.

因为我们刚把零花钱都拿去买漫画了

Penny is it weird that we're having girls' night here

佩妮你会别扭吗就是你不住这了

but you don't live here anymore

却在这里办女生之夜

so it's basically my girls' night

所以应该算是我的女生之夜这件事

I hadn't really thought about it.

我还没怎么想过这事

But now you're thinking about it and it bothers you

现在你想了这事而心里开始不舒服了吗

I get that.

我懂

Things going well with you and Sheldon living together

你跟谢尔顿同居的事情发展如何

Better than ever.

好得不能再好

He asks about my day takes an interest in my life.

他会问我今天如何对我的生活有兴趣

He's like my boyfriend in college

就跟我大学时的男友一样

except he's real so people can see him.

唯一差别是他是真人别人都看得见他

I've been seeing him for years

我见他许多年了

I'm still not convinced he's real.

我到现在还没完全相信他是真人

Hey can I ask you a question

我能问你个问题吗

You've been married for a while.

你已经结婚蛮久了

Is it normal for the husband

老公通常都会变得

to kind of completely stop giving a crap

仪式感尽失啥都不在乎吗

Uh oh what's going on

不妙发生什么啦

Well Leonard used to do all these things

莱纳德以前会为我做很多事情

like bring me flowers

比如给我买花

and wear pants.

或者穿裤子

It's okay Howie never has on pants.

没什么啊华仔从来不穿裤子

The Domino's guy brings the pizza like this now.

披萨店外送员现在都这么送过来

Well Sheldon always has his pants on.

谢尔顿总是穿着裤子

I don't think I could pick his knees out of a lineup.

辨认嫌疑犯的话我都没法从膝盖认出他

Well it's not just the pants.

不只是穿不穿裤子的问题

Just it's like since we got married

只是自打我们结婚以后

he doesn't really try anymore.

他就不再对我花心思了

Uh Penny

佩妮

I don't know how to say this

我不知道怎么跟你开口

but this is my first girls' night

但这是我第一次主办女生之夜

and you're kind of bumming everybody out.

而你却扫了大伙儿的兴

All right got Halley to sleep.

好了终于把哈雷哄睡了

Yeah I heard you on the baby monitor.

我从婴儿监视器里听见了

Didn't think you could turn the theme from Walking Dead

真想不到你可以把《行尸走肉》的主题曲

into a lullaby.

改成摇篮曲

Yeah got to get her hooked on TV

是啊必须得让她喜欢上看电视

or someday she'll want me to play outside.

不然以后她就会让我陪她去室外玩

Boy that floor is so squeaky.

天啊地板不平老吱吱响

I'm surprised I didn't wake her up walking out of the room.

我还挺惊讶自己走出房间时没把她吵醒

Have you tried anything to fix it

你有没有试过修一修

Well I put the rug down.

我铺了地毯

It didn't help.

但不管用

I know. Blue shag. What were you thinking

我知道蓝色粗毛地毯你是怎么想的

Did try nailing a couple of the boards down.

也试过拿钉子钉住地板

Did that do anything

效果怎么样

Yeah it left little holes in the floor

就在地板上留了几个小洞

that's why I bought the rug.

所以我才买地毯盖住啊

If you do that I'll win in eight moves.

如果你那么下我八步之内就能赢你

I'll win in five moves.

我五步之内就能赢你

I'll win in one move.

我一步之内就能赢你

Oh no. Good game.

我输了比赛很精彩

Oh Penny I'm trying

佩妮我在试图

to take an interest in other people.

对别人的生活感兴趣

Uh how was your girls' night

你的女生之夜怎么样呀

Oh it was fine.

还行

Did you have anything to eat

你吃了什么呀

Uh chips.

薯片

Anything to drink

喝了什么呀

Some wine.

喝了点红酒

Well I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.

就像对着窗帘打网球都没点反弹

Just ignore him.

别搭理他

At least he took an interest.

至少人家有兴趣问

What's that supposed to mean

这话什么意思

Nothing.

没意思

Hey what's going on with you

你这是闹哪出

I don't want to talk about it.

我不想说这事

Well hey come on just tell me.

别这样嘛快告诉我

Fine.

好吧

Lately I kind of feel like

最近我有点觉得

you've been taking me for granted.

你不拿我当回事了

Wh what Where is this coming from

什么此话怎讲

Leonard. She might be drunk.

莱纳德她可能喝醉了

All she had was chips.

毕竟她就吃了点薯片

It's just since we got married you seem to think

自打我们结婚以后你貌似就认为

you don't have to try anymore.

不用对我花心思了

That is ridiculous.

简直是无稽之谈

This is exactly why I didn't want to talk about it.

我就知道会这样所以我才不想跟你谈

No No no no. Let's talk about it.

别别别那我们就来谈一谈

I'm the one who's made all the effort

我才是那个打从第一天

in this relationship since day one.

就对这份感情尽心尽力的人

Please tell me what more I could do.

麻烦告诉我我还要做到什么程度

Okay. You know what Maybe I'll take Amy with me

好那算了或许我该带艾米

to the spa this weekend instead.

这周末跟我一起去水疗度假村

Fine go ahead.

行啊去吧

Amy is free.

艾米有空

She had a harp lesson on Saturday

她本来周六要上竖琴课

but it got canceled...

但后来取消了

Boy when you take an interest in people

天啊一旦对别人感兴趣

you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.

你真是打开了废话的话匣子

Okay. Thanks Daddy.

好的谢谢老爸

He said the only way to really fix an old floor like that

他说全面修复像这样旧地板的唯一办法

is to tear it up and replace the whole thing.

就是全拆了换新的

That sounds expensive. Hang on.

-听起来得花不少钱呢 -且慢

No offense to her father

我不是质疑她父亲

but he's not an MIT trained engineer.

但他毕竟不是麻省理工毕业的工程师

Thinking and building is what you do.

你的强项就是动脑和动手啊

MIT's motto is "Mind and hand "

麻省理工的校训是"手脑并用"

which just so happens was also my motto as a lonely teenager.

恰好也是我寂寞青少年时期的自慰箴言

Oh come on. We just need to be more creative.

来嘛我们只需发散创新思维

What if you didn't step on the floor at all

假设你的双脚完全不用碰到地板呢

Like what if you...

比如说假设你...

swung on a rope from the ceiling

从天花板拴根绳子荡过去

No.

不行

Okay. Um...

好吧

Okay. What if you rig up a pulley system

那好假设你安装一个皮带轮装置

and move yourself across the room in a harness

穿上套索缓缓穿过房间呢

No.

不行

I have one.

我有个主意

What if you got a giant slingshot

假设你用一个巨型弹弓

and flung yourself into the wall

然后冲着墙壁用力弹进去

Is that supposed to be funny Hold on.

-你是在说笑话吗 -等等

Yeah that's funny.

没错是挺好笑的

All right we're heading out.

好了我们要出发了

I'll call you when we get to the hotel.

我们到了酒店就打给你

And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo

如果有那种小瓶子装的洗发水

I will bring them home so you can show me

我会带回家让你展示给我看

how Godzilla takes a shower.

哥斯拉怎么洗澡

Have fun. Thanks.

-好好玩 -谢谢

Are you ready

可以走了吧

Bye Sheldon.

再见谢尔顿

You know what I feel uncomfortable

算了我觉得这样不好

engaging in a public display of affection

当众在这种时候秀恩爱

while their relationship is strained.

他们俩还在闹别扭呢

Go ahead it's fine.

尽管秀吧我无所谓

Bye. Bye.

-再见 -再见

Okay Let's go

-够了 -赶紧走

Bye. Bye.

-再见 -再见

I'll miss you.

我会想你的

Yeah I'll miss you too.

我也会想你的

I'll miss you more.

我的思念绝对胜过你

Well if X equals the amount that you'll miss me

如果你的思念等于X

then I'll miss you X plus one.

我的思念就等于X+1

If you miss me X plus one I'll miss you

如果你的思念等于X+1

open paren X plus one close paren to the second...

我的思念就等于(X+1) 然后...

Thank you.

谢了

Here.

给你

You're sad so I made you tea.

你很难过所以我帮你泡了茶

Thanks.

谢谢

And it's just the way you like it.

按你喜欢的口味泡的哟

Earl Grey Yes.

-伯爵茶 -是的

Honey Yes.

-加了蜂蜜 -是的

Unsweetened almond Good Lord

-不甜的杏仁 -老天爷

I made you tea. Just drink it

我不辞辛苦泡了茶哪来那么多废话

Sorry thank you.

抱歉谢谢你

Well what can we do to cheer you up

我们做点什么让你开心的事吧

I really don't know.

我不知道该做什么

You want to play Jenga

你想玩层层叠吗

Or uh Ticket to Ride

或者车票之旅[桌游]

Hearthstone

《炉石传说》

I what would you be the happiest losing at

什么游戏是你输了以后最开心的

I don't want to play a game Sheldon.

我不想玩游戏谢尔顿

Wow and I remember when you loved playing games with me.

我可记得你以前特别喜欢跟我一起玩游戏呢

Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.

看来你敷衍了事的感情不止跟佩妮这段

It's not that I'd stopped trying

不是我不再对她花心思

it's just how relationships progress.

是感情本来就是这样

They start with infatuation

一开始迷恋忘情投入

but over time mellow into something more comfortable.

但久而久之激情会蜕变成更为舒服的相处模式

Yeah you're right.

你说得对

It's like when I first encountered the Pythagorean Theorem.

就像我人生初识勾股定理一样

You know I was blown away that the square of the hypotenuse

我被斜边边长的平方等于

was the sum of the squares of the opposite sides.

对边边长平方和迷得神魂颠倒

Yeah but now I'm just like "Eh."

但现在我对它的感觉只是切

Okay this grid represents the room.

这些格子代表了整个房间

All we need to do is plot out where each squeak is

我们只需找出哪些格子会吱吱响

and we can find a quiet path to the crib.

从而发现一条通向摇篮的安静之路

It looks like a map from Dungeons & Dragons.

这看起来好像《龙与地下城》的地图

Except the creature in the crib is a level nine poop monster.

不同的是摇篮里装的是满级的造粪小怪兽

Okay uh you check for squeaks

你负责检查吱吱声

and I will mark them down.

我负责记录

Okay.

好的

Space A 3 here we go.

A3号格子开始测试

It's squeaking. Mark it.

响得厉害记下来

It's nice to think that you grew up in this room

你的女儿要在你成长过的房间里茁壮长大

and now your daughter's going to as well.

想想真是挺温馨的

I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did.

我希望她在这享受到的性爱与我一样多

None. Next square.

也就是没有下一个格子

Why do you bounce with your hands in the air like that

你为什么要在空中抖动双手

It's a tradition of my people.

这是我们犹太人的习俗

If I were a rich man

如果我是个大土豪

"Material Girl" needs to be retired.

以后别再唱《物质女孩》了

That is your karaoke song.

你下次唱K就该唱这歌

Would you like to play a driving game I invented

你想玩我发明的驾驶游戏吗

Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny

是有关我和佩妮失败的感情吗

Never mind.

算了

You know Penny went to this spa to be away from you.

佩妮为了躲开你才去水疗度假村

Are you sure you should be going there

你确定你应该去找她吗

I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out.

我不想再等两天才解决这件事

Very well.

很好

You got married spur of the moment.

你俩当初结婚就是一时冲动

I don't see why your divorce should be any different.

离婚的方式如出一辙也没啥不可

I would pull this car over and kick you out

我真想靠边停车一脚踢你出去

but... if Penny dumps me you're all I got.

可如果佩妮甩了我你就是我的唯一依靠了

When was the last time you got a massage

你上一次做按摩是什么时候

Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago

两周前谢尔顿曾经站在我背上

but that was just 'cause there was a spider on his pillow

但那是因为他枕头上有蜘蛛

and he was trying to get away.

他想躲开

Leonard stood on me once too

莱纳德也曾经站在我背上过

but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.

他当时是为了站高点看新年玫瑰花车大游行

I don't know the protocol

我不太了解这里的规矩

are you gonna be naked for your massage

你按摩时会裸体吗

Well. Yeah.

会啊

Then this is probably too many clothes.

那我可能穿太多衣服了

What are you doing here

你来干什么

I came here to apologize.

我是来道歉的

Okay. Leonard I really appreciate that

莱纳德我很感激你这么做

but I need a little time to myself.

但我需要一点自己的时间

Okay. I don't get it.

我搞不懂了

Here I am making an effort.

现在我来努力了啊

Hello Amy. It's nice to see you.

艾米你好呀

Nice to see you too.

你也好呀

And that's how you make effort look effortless.

这就是怎么让努力看起来不会太用力

All right. Can you please just go

好了麻烦你先回去

and we'll talk about this tomorrow

我们明天再说好吗

I don't understand what you want

我不懂你到底想要什么

I'm trying to figure it out

我自己也想知道

You know what If you'd like

知道吗如果你希望

I could whip up a quick Relationship Agreement.

我可以很快草拟一个《感情协议》

Well I'm at a spa

反正我在水疗度假村

might as well do something relaxing.

不妨做一些放松的事

Sheldon why don't we give them some privacy

谢尔顿让他们单独聊聊

Very well.

好的

Hey. Later we'll check out the minibar

等一下我们看看迷你酒柜有什么东西

I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.

我让你见识下哥斯拉是怎么喝醉的

So what we did was map out the entire room

我们给整间房做了地图标记

to identify every squeak.

确定了所有吱吱声的所在

Watch. It's easy once you get the hang of it.

看着一旦你掌握了就很简单了

Step.

跨步

Step.

跨步

Hop onto ottoman.

跳上脚凳

Don't do that in socks I almost broke my neck.

不要只穿着袜子跳我差点摔断脖子

Then simply sit

然后坐下

spin stand

旋转站起

stretch...

跨一大步

Maybe unloosen your pants.

也许要把裤子松一松

And... step

然后并腿

grab tiny pivot

抓床略微转身

pull and you're there.

用力一拉到了

Easy peasy mac and...

易如反掌小菜...

You get the idea.

你懂我意思

You actually expect me to do this

你们真指望我在黑暗中

while holding a baby in the dark

抱着宝宝这样做吗

Hold on...

稍等

I don't think she was impressed.

我觉得她没有被感动到

Bigger problems.

我有更大的问题

I felt something pop.

感觉这有东西炸了

There's a cucumber in my water.

我的水里有黄瓜

Do they know it's there

他们知道这事吗

Um sh should I tell somebody

还是我该跟谁反映

It's there on purpose.

是故意放进去的

It's refreshing.

使味道更清爽

Interesting.

有意思

The world's most boring liquid

世上最无趣的液体

and the world's most boring vegetable.

世上最无趣的蔬菜

But you put 'em together and bleh.

两者放在一起我去

Oh Good you're here. Are you still fighting

太好了你们来了你们还在吵架吗

If you get divorced do I get two Christmases

如果你们离婚了我可以在两家过两次圣诞吗

We're not getting divorced.

我们不会离婚

Listen we realized that uh...

听着我们意识到

we're facing some new challenges as a married couple.

作为夫妻我们面临了新的挑战

Yeah. And there are a few things

对有一些事情

we need to stay on top of.

我们得处理好

So we thought it would useful

所以我们觉得这样做也许有帮助

and I can't believe I am about to say this

真不敢相信我会说这样的话

Would you please help us make a Relationship Agreement

请帮我们拟一份《感情协议》好吗

But one that's tailored to us.

但要为我们量身定制

Okay We don't need a bathroom schedule.

明白吗我们不需要标明各自上厕所的时间

Although a rule about him texting me from in there

不过限制下他从厕所发短信给我

might help with the romance.

也许对浪漫有帮助

What do you say

你同意吗

I get to write a contract

我能有机会撰写合同吗

I say let's get this party of the first part started

哎呀我滴妈 "甲方"再不开始就太"甲"啦

Do you really think that's funny

你觉得这很好笑吗

It's in our agreement. I have to laugh.

这是我们的协议内容他说笑话我必须笑

If you find this draft acceptable

如果你们觉得草稿可以接受

then I believe your new Relationship Agreement

那我相信你们新的《感情协议》

is ready to be signed.

可以签字了

Article 8 subsection B

第8条 B项

Leonard will restrict video gaming in underpants

莱纳德穿着内裤玩游戏的时间

to hours Penny is not home.

必须是佩妮不在家的时候

This includes boxers briefs thongs G strings

内裤包括平角裤三角裤丁字裤兜裆裤

or anything else that calls attention

和其他所有令人注意到

to his pasty little thighs.

他苍白小大腿的裤子

Does it really need to say that

真有必要这样说吗

I did this for free let me get a little something.

我免费帮你们写协议让我爽爽总应该吧

Article 10 subsection C

第10条 C项

If questioned Penny may not say

如有质疑佩妮不能在

that everything is fine if it isn't.

有事的情况下说"没事"

Other unacceptable responses include "It's nothing "

其他无法接受的回答包括"没什么"

"Don't worry about it " And "I said it's nothing

"别担心" "我说了没什么

don't worry about it."

别担心"

I think this all looks good.

我觉得挺好的

Me too.

我也是

Oh well. Great then. Here.

太好了来

You sign here date here.

这里签名写日期

And Penny if you could initial here to indicate

佩妮在这里签上名字的首字母

that you're accepting Leonard in "as is" condition.

表示无论莱纳德这货现在是否破损你都接受

I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.

我还记得签我们的第一份《恋爱协议》

You seem to be forgetting the "No nostalgia" clause.

你似乎忘了"不准忆当年"的条款

Right right. Got it.

对明白

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