生活大爆炸-S06E09_生活大爆炸

S01

They are not.

他们不一样

They are too.

就一样

Your hypothesis is completely disconfirmed by all the data.

种种数据显示你的假设完全不能成立

You're just clinging to it out of intellectual stubbornness.

现在纯粹是你的智商在死鸭子嘴硬

No you're displaying a shocking ignorance

是你正表现出对谈话主题的

of the subject matter.

高度无知

Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing.

木乃伊与僵尸是一模一样的东西

Oh yeah

是吗

Mummies are wrapped in bandages.

木乃伊全身裹着绷带呢

That's called a fashion choice.

那是人家的时尚风格

All right you brought this on yourself.

好吧是你自己自讨苦吃

Sheldon get him.

谢尔顿说死丫的

If a zombie bites you

如果你被僵尸咬了

you turn into a zombie.

你也会变为僵尸

However if a mummy bites you

但如果是木乃伊咬你

all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite.

你只会变成有木乃伊咬痕的白痴

So like a zombie

所以你就像是个

that's been eaten from the waist down

被人啃掉下半身的僵尸一样

you sir have no leg to stand on.

说的话完全"站不住脚"

Good boy. Here's a cookie.

真乖赏你个饼干

Oh thank you.

谢谢

Hey fellas what's going on

大家伙在干嘛呢

Mummies and zombies again.

又在辩木乃伊跟僵尸呢

Oh they're not the same thing.

他们不一样好吗

You get a cookie too.

也赏你个饼干

Thanks.

谢谢

Guess who picked up his new car this morning

你们猜谁今早弄了台新车

Congratulations.

恭喜你啊

Does it have that new car smell Yep

-里面有新车味吗 -有的

For as long as I can keep my mother out of it.

只要不让我妈上车就有

If you want to check it out later

你们想看一下的话

it's parked right out front space 294.

就停在外面哦 294号位

I'm sorry 294

等等 294号位吗

Yeah. That's my parking spot.

-是的 -那是我的停车位

Why do you have a parking spot

你怎么会有个停车位

You don't have a car. You don't even drive.

你都没车你连车都不开

It doesn't matter.

那无关紧要

That's my spot.

那停车位是我的

Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.

可能是看你从不停车就重分配给人了吧

Well I'm not using my nipples either.

我也从不用我的乳头啊

Maybe they should reassign those.

他们也要帮我重分配吗

Sheldon someday if you get a car

谢尔顿哪天你买车了

I'm sure they'll give you another parking space.

他们肯定还会再给你个停车位的

I don't want another parking space.

我不要别的停车位

I want my parking space.

我要我那个停车位

It's perfect.

那可是完美车位

It's a corner spot

那车位是在角落

cutting the risk of door dings in half.

车门被旁车门撞凹的机率少了一半

It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance.

而走到楼入口处也只需仅仅28步

The nearby tree provides shade on hot days

旁边的树能在热天提供遮阴

and is also home to a delightful squirrel.

而且那树还是一只可爱小松鼠的家

Which is fortuitous

这很难得呢

because most squirrels are real jerks.

毕竟大多数的松鼠都是讨厌鬼

Fun story.

故事虽好

Meanwhile you still don't have a car.

但你就是没车啊

Don't try to change the subject.

别想转移话题

This is about a parking space.

我们是在谈停车位

It has nothing to do with cars.

跟有没有车毫无关系

Are you listening to yourself

你有听到你自己说的话了吗

I always listen to myself.

我当然都有听啊

It's one of the great joys of my life.

这是我人生中最美好的事之一呢

Now get your car out of my spot.

快把你的车开离我的宝位

Nope.

不要

Very well.

你不仁

You leave me no choice.

那就别怪我不义了

What are you looking at you stupid squirrel

看个屁啊你个白痴松鼠

第六季第九集

生活大爆炸

President Siebert listen to reason.

塞伯特校长请听我的理由

Yeah I understand I don't use the parking spot

我知道我没有在使用那个停车位

but that's not the point. I...

但这不是重点我...

Yes I'm aware you told me not to call you at home.

我知道你说过别打去你家

But you didn't answer the door

但这是因为你不应门啊

And I know you were there

我知道你在家

because I saw you through the mail slot.

我当时从信件投递口看到你在里面了

Well that's some salty language.

你这话够掉身份啊

May I remind you that you're the president of a major university

您别忘了您重点大学校长的身份啊

not the president of the Potty Mouth Club.

而不是个脏话俱乐部的主席

There it is again.

你又说

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth

你也是用那张嘴亲你母亲的吗

Oh well I'm sorry for your loss.

好吧请节哀顺变

Oh... Good night sir.

晚安

Unbelievable.

太扯了

He says Wolowitz deserves my spot

他说我的停车位给沃罗威茨不为过

because he's a high profile asset to the university.

因为他是学校的重要资产

Well he's not wrong.

他也没说错啊

Howard did go to the International Space Station.

霍华德好歹也上过国际太空站了

Yeah that was five weeks ago.

那都是五周前的事了

How much longer is he gonna milk that cow

他还想靠那件事占便宜多久啊

Sheldon let it go.

算了啦谢尔顿

It's not a big deal.

也不是什么大事

No no this is a slippery slope Leonard.

莱纳德不反抗只会令他更予取予求

It starts with a parking space.

先是占了我停车位

Where does it end

食髓知味了以后呢

It's like my dad always said

就像我爸说过的一样

"First they say you can't drink and drive.

"一开始只说不能酒后开车

Next thing you know you can't let your 10 year old

才刚同意就立刻再进一步说

take the wheel while you sleep one off in the backseat."

不许让10岁儿子开车而自己去后座睡觉"

All that story does is make me feel bad for your mother.

你这故事只让我更心疼你妈

Leonard you're my best friend.

莱纳德你是我最好的朋友

Why don't you ever take my side

为什么你从不跟我同一阵线

Because I can never understand your side

因为我从没懂过你那阵线

Give it back.

还我

I'm sorry

很抱歉

but could you be more specific

您是指...

My Iron Man helmet.

我的钢铁侠头盔

Koothrappali saw you take it. Give it back.

库萨帕里看见你拿了还回来

Oh that.

哦那个啊

Well see I wanted it

听我说这东西我想要

and you weren't using it.

你又不用我就拿了

Apparently those are the rules we live by now.

我们现在生活规则好像是这样哦

Payback

报复

it truly is the B word isn't it

还真是让人想骂脏话不是吗

Sheldon that is a $500 limited edition collectible

谢尔顿那可是价值500美元的限量珍藏品

and I want it back.

快还给我

I'd love to help you out but unfortunately

我也想还给你但很遗憾的是

I'm using it.

我在用呢

Fine.

好吧

I'm taking your diploma.

那我把你的学位证拿走

Go ahead.

尽管拿

That's the only doctorate you'll ever get.

你这辈子唯一"拿到"博士学位的机会哦

It smells funny in here.

里面闻起来怪怪的

We're so proud of you Amy.

我们真以你为傲艾米

Your first bikini wax. Yeah.

-你的初次比基尼蜜蜡脱毛呢 -对啊

So how you doing

感觉如何

A little sensitive but not bad.

有点小敏感但还好

Does it always take that long

一般都需要这么长时间的吗

Uh no they usually don't have to go out and get more wax.

不他们一般不需要跑去多拿点蜜蜡

I feel like I'm five pounds lighter.

除完我感觉都轻了5磅

Really Only five

真的吗你确定只有5磅吗

Hey anybody want a drink

谁想来一杯

Okay. Sure.

-好的 -当然

So did you spend last night hearing

你昨晚是不是也得听他

about this silly parking space fight too

抱怨那场白痴的停车位大战

For hours.

抱怨了好几小时

Fortunately I couldn't understand most of it

幸好因为谢尔顿戴着那个白痴面具

'cause Sheldon was wearing that stupid robot mask.

他说的话我大部分都听不懂

Howard was so angry

霍华德气得要死

I had to mash up Benadryl in his ice cream

我不得不把过敏药混在他的冰淇淋里

一般小朋友吃了都会想睡觉

Benadryl是儿童抗过敏药

to get him to fall asleep.

才能让他消停睡觉

I guess this is what we get

我猜这就是我们

for being with two testosterone fueled alpha males.

跟两个荷尔蒙爆棚的雄性霸主在一起的后果

At some point

一山不容二虎

they're bound to lock horns.

他们总有一天得角斗分生死

I'm assuming these are some kind of horns

我猜你说的"角" 是他们从动漫展

they bought at Comic Con

买的什么号"角"之类吧

I'm really sorry they took Sheldon's spot away.

我很抱歉学校收回谢尔顿的车位

He shouldn't have to suffer

他不该因为霍华德

just because Howard's such a big deal now.

现在是个大咖而蒙受苦难啊

I know Sheldon should just let Howard

是啊谢尔顿应该大度点

have his little moment in the sun.

也让霍华德有一次受瞩目的短暂机会

What's that supposed to mean

你这话什么意思

Well Howard's never gonna go to space again

霍华德这辈子不会再上太空了

but Sheldon will always be a genius.

但谢尔顿一辈子都会是个天才

You're right.

有道理

And I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again

谢尔顿肯定有机会重获个好车位啊

if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.

假设他哪天真对科学做了有价值的贡献就行

If and when

假设与哪天吗

Okay maybe we should change the subject.

好了或许我们该换个话题

Amy how are your lady parts

艾米你"小妹妹"那里感觉如何

Still chilly down there

还凉飕飕的吗

Hang on.

打住

None of Sheldon's theories

谢尔顿所有的理论

have ever been definitively proven.

都未获得最终证实

My husband actually went to outer space.

而我的老公可是真正上过太空

That's an impressive accomplishment.

那的确是一项令人赞叹的成就

He's now an inspiration to millions of Americans

他现在成功鼓舞了百万美国人

who know you don't have to be special

就算你不特别甚至不够格

or even qualified to go into space.

也都可以登上外太空

You know I remember the first time I got a bikini wax.

我还记得我第一次尝试比基尼脱毛

My sister did it with melted Crayolas and duct tape.

我姐姐是用熔化的蜡笔和胶带帮我

It's a bad idea...

那主意蠢透了...

Gosh Amy.

天啊艾米

I'm sensing a little hostility.

我感觉到了一丝敌意啊

Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work

是不是因为你们的性生活

your sex life is also theoretical

跟谢尔顿的研究一样纯属"理论"啊

Damn.

毒啊

Yeah well at least when we do make love

是啊至少等我们开搞了后

Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

谢尔顿脑子里不会想着他妈妈

And yes that is a cleverly veiled reference

没错我就是在明嘲暗讽

to Howard's lifelong obsession

霍华德他这辈子痴迷着想

to crawl back into her spacious womb.

爬回他妈宽敞无比的子宫的心里

Anyway to this day I still can't see

时至今日我一看见蜡笔

a box of crayons without crossing my legs.

还是会吓得赶紧夹紧双腿

I don't have to take this.

我没必要听你冷嘲热讽

I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband right now.

老娘现在就回家跟我的老公做爱

Maybe I'll let him do it to me in the parking spot.

可能还让他干我"停车位"呢

Which sounds dirty but I didn't mean it that way

虽然听起来很淫荡但我不是那个意思

Okay here's another one

好吧另外一个问题

If a zombie bites a vampire

如果僵尸咬了吸血鬼

and the vampire bites a human

然后吸血鬼咬了人类

does the human become a vampire or a zombie

那那个人类会变成吸血鬼还是僵尸

Or a zompire

或是僵血鬼

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Cookie.

饼干拿来

I don't have any.

我没有

Well I'm not giving it away.

我才不无偿帮你

Hi Sheldon.

你好呀谢尔顿

He's in my spot.

他坐在我的专位上

Leonard make him stop being naked in my spot.

莱纳德让他别裸体坐在我的专位上

Howard what are you doing

霍华德你这是干嘛

He wasn't using it.

他又没在坐

And I needed a nice cool piece of leather

而我刚好需要一块冰凉的皮革

to wiggle my naked ass on.

来[摩]擦我的光屁屁

Get off there.

快滚开

Give me back my Iron Man helmet.

把我的钢铁侠头盔还给我

Give me back my parking space.

把我的停车位还给我

You don't need a parking space.

你又不需要停车位

You don't have a car.

你连车都没有

You don't need an Iron Man helmet.

你又不需要钢铁侠头盔

You're not Iron Man.

你又不是钢铁侠

Well we appear to have reached an impasse.

看来我们陷入僵局了

And you know I have to say I thought

不过我得说我原以为

you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.

把你笔记本放我的大雕上你会更生气呢

I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch.

我刚还没发现这招不赖啊

霍华德·沃罗威茨

This is so exciting.

人家好激动

I'm feeling all tingly.

都感觉有点刺痛了

Although that could just be

但也有可能是因为

my newly defoliated bikini zone.

我才把比基尼部位除了毛哦

Keep a lookout.

把好风

This place is swarming with campus security.

这地方有一大堆校园保安

They will not hesitate to scold us.

他们会骂死我们的

Freaking pigs.

死猪头

谢尔顿·库珀

Oh yeah.

爽啊

Okay now

好的现在

pull your car into the spot and let's get out of here.

把你的车开进来我们就可以走人了

Wait I'm leaving my car here

等等我得把车留在这里吗

Yes and be sure and put on the emergency brake.

对记得拉手刹

Really makes these things tough to budge.

这样要拖走你车都得废很大劲

Before I park come in the backseat.

在我停车以前你到后座来一下

I want to show you something I had done today.

我给你看看我今天做的事

All right color me intrigued.

好啊我都好奇起来了

What do you think

你觉得怎么样

I think you're high on paint fumes.

你喷漆味吸高嗨过头了吧

And boy that's a lot of Band Aids.

老天好多创口贴啊

Okay Howard's mother is in like every one of your wedding photos.

你每一张结婚照里都有霍华德的妈妈

What can I tell ya She's a big girl.

我能说什么呢她可是"大"姑娘

Wherever you look there she is.

不管看哪她都赫然在目

More coffee

再来点咖啡吗

No Leonard's taking me to a physics lecture

不了莱纳德要带我去听物理讲座

and coffee'll just keep me awake.

咖啡会害让我睡不着

Oh I'll get it.

我去开门

Oh looks like someone's on Team Bernadette.

看来某人和伯纳黛特是一队的啊

Where's Howard

霍华德在哪

He's not here. What's wrong

他不在怎么了

He had my car towed.

他让我的车被拖走了

It cost me $200 to get it back.

花了我200美元才弄回来

Oh no.

这么惨啊

Where was it parked

车本来在哪停着的呢

In Sheldon's spot.

在谢尔顿的停车位

That doesn't make sense. Sheldon doesn't have a spot.

不对啊谢尔顿没有车位

Was it maybe in Howard's spot

是不是在霍华德的车位呀

Don't play dumb with me sister.

别装傻了丫头

You tell your husband he owes me $200.

告诉你丈夫他欠我200块

Well that doesn't make sense either.

这也说不通啊

Why not

怎么会

Because I'm the one who had it towed.

因为车是我拖走的

You

你

Didn't see that one coming did ya

没想到姐这招吧

Oh yeah

是吗

Well you're not gonna see this coming.

那你想得到姐这招吗

Oh my God are you okay

天啊你没事吧

What the hell do you have in there

你包里装了什么鬼东西啊

Just my wallet keys and a coffee can full of change

只有钱包钥匙和一个装满硬币的咖啡罐

I've been meaning to take to the bank.

我正准备到银行存呢

Don't move. I'll get some ice.

别动我去拿点冰块

Are you okay

你没事吧

Get away from me or I swear to God

离我远点不然我发誓

I will rip out what's left of your pubes

我会把你"那块"撕烂

Here. Thanks. Ah

-给 -谢谢

Amy you think maybe this has gotten a little out of hand

艾米你不觉得这事有点失控吗

Gee you think

老天你才觉得吗

I do.

确实

Penny Bernadette and I are sorry.

佩妮我和伯纳黛特很抱歉

You hit her What did I do

打她的是你我做啥了

You had my car towed.

你拖走了我的车

You were parked in Howard's spot

谁叫你在霍华德的车位停车的

I was parked in Sheldon's spot

我是停在谢尔顿的车位上的

Sheldon doesn't have a spot

谢尔顿根本就没有车位

Guys I think I need to go to the emergency room.

姑娘们我觉得我得去趟急救室

Okay let's go. I'll drive.

-好我们走 -我来开车

You can see where the tow truck scratched my car.

你可以看看拖吊车把我的车刮成什么样了

The tow truck didn't scratch your car.

拖吊车根本没刮到你的车

How do you know 'Cause I did it

-你怎么知道 -因为是老娘亲自拖的

Morning Professor Stevens.

早啊史蒂文斯教授

Don't look at that whiteboard.

别盯着白板看

That's my math not your math.

那是我的数学公式不关你的事

Keep walking nosey.

继续走你的路事儿妈

What the hell are you doing

你又搞什么鬼呢

You said I'm not using my space so...

你说我没有使用我的车位所以

I'm using it.

我正在使用

Okay you need to move now.

你得闪边了

No I don't.

才不

You can't stay there forever.

你总不可能一直占着那里吧

Actually I have a plastic baggy strapped to my leg that says I can.

事实上我腿上绑的塑"尿"袋说是可能的

Give up Wolowitz.

放弃吧沃罗威茨

You've chosen to tangle with a superior intellect you can't defeat.

你的对手比你足智多谋你赢不了的

There is nothing you could possibly do to...

你没有任何招能...

Those aren't gonna help you Sheldon

那玩意没用的谢尔顿

Oh yes they are

作用可大了

I mean what

不你说啥来着

I'm warning you Sheldon

我警告你谢尔顿

Your threats are empty

你吓唬谁啊

Nothing can move me

我是赶不走的

Stop that

快住手

Get out of my spot

滚出我的车位

That's it.

够了

I am calling campus security

我要叫保安了

You prepare for the scolding of your life

你准备好被骂得狗血淋头吧

What are you idiots doing

你们两个蠢货干嘛呢

He's trying to kill me Leonard

他要谋杀我莱纳德

Video games and rock music

电玩游戏与摇滚乐

have desensitized him to violence

令他变得对暴力麻木不仁

Would you please talk some sense

拜托你好好劝几句

into your lunatic roommate

你的疯子室友行吗

You're both acting like lunatics.

你俩都像疯子似的

It's just a parking spot. It's not just a parking spot

-一个停车位而已 -不仅仅是停车位

He can't handle the fact that

他无法接受现在

I'm a bigger deal than he is now.

我比他还大咖的事实

Oh preposterous

真是荒谬

I have been solely responsible

我全权负责

for this university's six loop quantum gravity calculations

这间大学的六回圈量子引力计算

I have changed the way we think

我改变了世人

about Bose Einstein condensates

对玻色-爱因斯坦凝聚体的想法

and I am also the one who got Nutter Butters

而且是我让咱学校的食堂贩卖机

in the cafeteria vending machine.

出售花生酱三明治饼

Maybe you missed that news while you were

也许你不知道这些

floating around like a goof in outer space.

因为当时你像个傻子一样在太空里瞎飘

Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do.

恕我失陪我要工作了

Can you believe this guy

你相信他说的是人话吗

What I don't believe is that you tried to run him over.

我不相信你居然想碾死他

Oh like you've never thought of doing that.

别装得好像你没想过这么做一样

Don't hate me just because I lived the dream.

别因为我实现梦想而恨我

Hey. Sweet ride

嘿真是辆好车哦

What are you doing in there

你在车里干什么

Just breaking in your new car.

闯入你的新车玩玩啊

Stop that You stop that

别这样快住手

You know what they say

知道常言怎么说吗

Revenge is a dish best served nude.

君子报仇裸着才完

Hey got a minute

有时间吗

Oh of course come in.

当然请进

This is an authentic Chinese throwing star

这是枚货真价实的中国飞镖

and I must warn you

我得警告你

I have seen many people throw them in movies.

我在电影里见过很多人扔这个

Calm down.

冷静

Howard has something he wants to say to you.

霍华德有话跟你说

All right.

好了

Sheldon when this whole thing with the parking space started

谢尔顿这场停车位之战开始后

I had no idea just how much of a crazy bastard...

我不知道你是个如此疯狂的混...

Howard...

霍华德

that's not how we practiced it.

跟着练习时的剧本走

I had no idea how much that spot meant to you.

我不知道那个停车位对你来说这么重要

Anyway I called President Siebert

总之我打了电话给塞伯特校长

and told him it's not worth fighting over the spot

我跟他说争停车位不值得

so you keep it and I'll park

你留着吧我就停在

in the structure across the street.

街对面的停车场好了

Well Howard thank you.

霍华德谢谢你

It's quite a gesture on your part.

你这样做很有风度

You've shown yourself to be the bigger man.

你证明了你是豁然大度的汉子

Thank you.

谢谢

Which I find totally unacceptable.

我完全不能接受这结果

I must be the bigger man.

我一定得比人大度才行

Therefore you may use my spot until such time

因此你可以用我的停车位直到

as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.

我学会开车或是有了蝙蝠车

Wow okay.

好的

Well thanks.

谢谢

I don't know what to say.

我不知道说什么好了

There is nothing to say.

没什么好说的

Except I'm the bigger man.

除了"你才是大度真汉子"

I'm not kidding. Say it.

我没开玩笑快说

Just say it.

说吧

You're the bigger man Sheldon.

你才是大度真汉子谢尔顿

Oh stop.

少来了

And I believe this is yours.

我相信这个是你的

FYI if you wear that into a bank

告诉你如果戴着这个进银行

they will tackle you to the ground.

保安会把你摁倒在地

I'd like to propose a toast

大家来干一杯吧

to burying the hatchet.

敬恩怨一笔勾销

To burying the hatchet.

敬恩怨一笔勾销

You know I'm kind of glad this happened.

我有点开心发生这样的事

Me too.

我也是

In some weird way I kind of feel like it brought us closer.

虽说有些怪异但我感觉让我们更亲近了

Yeah everybody's happy. Great

皆大欢喜好耶

Can I help you

有什么可以效劳的

Yes. According to information

是的根据我从商户点评网上

I gleaned from Yelp

了解到的信息

you had great success when a santeriasuzy37

网友圣塔拉苏茜37

brought you a pair of leather slacks

拿来沾有鸡血的皮裤

stained with chicken blood.

而你成功处理了

I believe I may have a similar problem.

我可能有着同样棘手的问题

This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle.

这张座垫经历了复仇裸蹭

A what

什么

A naked man sat on it.

一个裸男坐在了上面

Now here's my concern

我担心的问题是

His diet is rich in fatty deli meats.

他的饮食成分富含脂肪过多的肉食

What test do you have to detect lipid residue

你这里有哪些脂质残留的检验测试呢

Lipid what

什么脂质

Lipid residue.

脂质残留

An anal autograph.

亲屁签名

A colon calling card if you will.

叫结肠名片也行

Tuesday okay

周二拿行吗

Don't rush it.

慢慢来好好弄

We may be dealing with befoulment

玷污程度可能已经达到

on a molecular level.

分子级别了

Let me write you a ticket.

我给你开取货单

Is that your son

那是你儿子吗

Looks like that laptop's seen better days.

看起来那个笔记本已经用了一段时日了

If you're interested I'm selling this.

有兴趣的话我在出售这个

It's only two years old

只用了两年

16 gigabytes of RAM

16G内存

Intel core i7 processor

英特尔芯片 I7处理器

and I can personally guarantee

而且我可以担保

it has spent less than 20 minutes resting on

它放在一名男性宇航员性器官上的时间

an astronaut's penis.

少于20分钟

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