生活大爆炸-S02E09_生活大爆炸

S01

Penny hello.

佩妮好啊

Hey sheldon.

谢尔顿

What is shaking

你咋样啊

I'm sorry

什么

It's colloquial a conversation opener.

这是口头语嘛开场白

So do you find the weather satisfying

你觉得今天天气好吗

Are you currently sharing in the triumph

我们本地的球队赢球了

of some local sports team

你是否为之一振

What's wrong with you you're freaking me out.

你搞什么名堂吓到我了

I'm striking up a casual conversation with you.

我在跟你闲聊啊

S'up

咋样

Please don't do that.

我求你别再说了

All right

好吧

But I'm given to understand that

不过我觉得如果你要和某人

when you have something awkward to discuss with someone

谈一个很尴尬的问题之前

it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat.

最好跟他说几句不搭界的闲话

So this wasn't the awkward part

就是说刚才那还不算尴尬事了?

No.

不算

Oh all right.

那好吧

S'up

咋了

Oh good I used that right.

太好了我说对了

Anyway you're aware that leonard has entered into a new

说正事吧你应该已经注意到了莱纳德最近

Romantic relationship which includes a sexual component

和一个女人发生了一段带有性关系的感情

Okay feeling the awkward now.

现在我能感到尴尬了

Her name is dr.Stephanie barnett and she is a highly

她的名字是斯蒂芬妮·巴内特医生

Distinguished surgical resident at freemont memorial.

她是弗里蒙特纪念医院一名杰出的外科医生

Yeah leonard told me. good.

-莱纳德告诉过我了 -很好

What he may have left out is

但他可能没告诉你

how important this relationship is to me.

这段感情对我来说非常重要

To you

对你

Yes see of the handful of women leonard's been involved with

是的在那些为数不多的和莱纳德约会过的女人中

She's the only one I have ever found tolerable.

只有她还算像个人

Well what about me

那我呢

The statement stands for itself.

这应该是不言自明的

Well aren't you sweet

你嘴好甜

Anyway should you have any interaction with her

而且你应该多和她接触一下

It would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival.

好让她别感觉到你是她的性竞争对手

Yeah I think she's pretty safe.

我看她没什么好担心的

You say that now but consider the following senario

你现在是这么说但看看这样的情况

you're sitting in your apartment

漆黑的晚上

It's late you're alone.

你孤身一人坐在家里

Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and

你的下丘脑里正游走着雌激素

Progesterone and suddenly even

和孕激素这时突然在你眼里

Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate.

就算莱纳德也会是一名有生育能力的性对象

Or a uh "hookup"

或者说配对

As it's referred to by today's urban youth.

现在的都市青年好像都这么说的

Really yes.

-真的吗 -是的

Now should that happen

如果万一发生这种情况

I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.

我要求你找到一种压制自己性冲动的办法

I could think about you.

只需要想你就可以了

Fine whatever works.

好只要管用就行

Always nice talking to you sheldon.

和你交谈总是很愉快谢尔顿

Uh peace out

再见[谢尔顿在刻意模仿黑人俚语]

Well this is very pleasant.

今晚多么美好啊

Glad you're enjoying yourself.

很高兴你喜欢

And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us.

你还说通心粉三个人吃不够呢

I stand corrected.

我错了

You know italian housewives have a rule of thumb.

你们知道么意大利的家庭主妇都有这样一种经验

A handful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter is

只要抓一把直径为一英寸的通心粉放在锅里烧

Sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked.

就足够所有人吃的了因为它在加热之后会膨胀一倍

That's very interesting.

非常有趣

Thank you.

谢谢

She doesn't mean it. she's just being nice.

她不是真觉得有趣只是礼节罢了

Well stephanie

斯蒂芬妮

Since leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball

既然莱纳德现在不想谈话

I guess I'll just have to pick it up.

那么就由我来顶替他

Have you ever witnessed a violent crime

你有没有现场目击过凶杀

No. good.

-没 -好的

What's your favorite fruit

你最喜欢什么水果

Uh strawberries.

草莓

Hmm technically not a fruit but all right.

严格来说不算水果不过也不追究了

Where did you do your medical internship

你的医学实习是在哪儿做的

Uh lawrence memorial in galveston texas.

劳伦斯纪念医院在德州的加尔维斯敦

Really that's where I was born

真的吗我就是在那儿出生的

You're kidding

不是吧

I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital.

在那所医院里我度过了不少童年时光

When I was 12 I got to ride there in a helicopter.

我十二岁的时候还坐直升机去哪儿呢

Why w w what happened

怎么了啊

Radiation burns.

辐射烧伤

A little mishap while I was building my own cat scanner.

我在造X射线轴向分层造影扫描机的时候发生了一点小意外

I'm sorry you tried to build your own cat scanner

你居然尝试自己造一个X射线轴向分层造影扫描机?

No I didn't try I succeeded.

我不是尝试我是成功了

In fact I was briefly able to see

而且我还用它观察了

the inside of my sister's guinea pig

我姐姐的小豚鼠雪球的内脏

Snowball before he caught fire.

然后他就烧起来了

It led to an interesting

所以我们家很流行一句话

"not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner."

豚鼠躲不过扫描机

Uh sheldon

谢尔顿

Excuse me.

我离开一下

When I come back just for fun

我回来之后为了好玩

the subject will be alternative history.

我们来聊聊架空历史

Specifically

主题是

How would the civil war have gone differently

如果林肯是来自于未来的机器人

If lincoln had been a robot sent from the future

那么南北战争的局势将会如何不同

Look at that there's even pasta left over.

看啊通心粉我们都吃不掉呢

Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date

你到底知不知道这是一次约会

I do.

明白啊

Do you because frankly

你明白么老实说

you've been in a foul mood since I sat down.

自打我坐下后你就呆若木鸡

Okay here's my question. why did you sit down

好吧那我的问题是你为什么要坐下

To help.

帮你呀

Look if you fail at this relationship

如果你这次又失手了

and history suggests you will

历史证明你会的

Then we risk losing the medical officer

那么我们的先头登陆部队所需的

That our landing party has always needed.

军医很可能就没了

What landing party

什么先头登陆部队

You're kirk I'm spock wolowitz is scotty

你是寇克我是史波克沃罗威茨是史考特

Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed...

库萨帕里是那个总是被杀的

And now we've got mccoy.

现在我们有了麦考伊[《星际迷航》里的人物]

所以

We're all standing around looking at the post op x ray

我们都站在那看着术后X光片

and there it is

然后就是那个

Clear as day right in the guy's chest cavity...

众目睽睽之下就在那人的胸腔里

One of my earrings.

有我一只耳环

Oh my god what did you do

天呐那你怎么办

What do you think I did

你觉得我还能怎么办

I discreetly slipped off the other earring

我偷偷把另一只耳环给摘了

Put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there

放在兜里逃离现场

I have a bone to pick with you sir.

捉迷藏的奖品捏

Hi sheldon.

嗨谢尔顿

Hi stephanie.

嗨斯蒂芬妮

I'm sorry I'm late

不好意思我迟到了

But yourompanion left the most indecipherable invitation.

但是你的同伴给我的邀请太难破译了

What invitation

什么邀请

"we're going to the movies."

"我们去看电影了"

What movie what theater what time

啥电影啥影院啥时候

If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you

如果你想要我追踪不到你

You couldn't have done a better job.

那你干得真是再好不过了

Oh clearly I could have.

明显我可以的

It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser

我花了将近20分钟才从你电脑的网页

History on your computer to see what movie times you looked up.

浏览记录里查到你搜索过的电影时刻表

Wait here I'll find us seats.

在这等我我给咱们找个座

Uh no we have seats.

不用我们有位子

Not the right seats.

不是正确的位子

What is he doing

他干嘛呢

He's finding the acoustic sweet spot.

他在找听觉最优点

Does he always do this

他一直都这样吗

Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone.

有时他也会带给玩具木琴

I am really sorry about this.

真是太抱歉了

No it's fine. you know he's sweet.

不会还好啦他挺可爱的

My apologies you've been sitting in it all along.

不好意思你们一直都坐对了地方

Leonard you want to slide over one

莱纳德你们能往里错一个位子吗

No just sit here.

不能您就坐这吧

Oh yeah this is it.

好极了就是这感觉

Leonard.

莱纳德

Leonard leonard

莱纳德莱纳德

What sheldon

咋啦谢尔顿

What sheldon what sheldon

咋啦谢尔顿咋啦谢尔顿

Tell me what you see here.

告诉我你在这看到什么

The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial

这个钝器能用来杀人吗

This is stephanie's facebook page.

这是斯蒂芬妮的facebook网页

Now where it should say "in a relationship " what does it say

你看本来应该是"交往中"的她写的是什么

"stephanie barnett is single."

"斯蒂芬妮巴奈特单身"

Yeah furthermore earlier this evening

而且早些时候

She threw a digital sheep at some guy named mike.

她送了一只电子羊给一个叫麦克的人

Who's mike

谁是麦克

Why does he get a digital sheep and not you

为什么他得到一只电子羊而不是你

It's just her facebook page and we've

这只不过是她的facebook网页罢了

Only been going out a couple of weeks.

而且我们只约会过几周

You don't see it do you

你还不明白么

We're losing her.

我们就要失去她了

Okay I'm going to make this very simple for you.

好吧我简而言之

You are not in this relationship.

你并不在这场恋爱里面

I am.

我在

Ergo you have no say in anything

也就是说你对于我和斯蒂芬妮之间

that happens between me and stephanie.

发生的事没有发言权

I'm afraid I can't allow that.

恕难从命

Pursuant to starfleet general order 104 section a

根据星际战舰总纲领104第一部分

You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.

你不是合适的人选我替你指挥

General order 104 section a does not apply in this situation.

总纲领104 第一部分不适用于此情况

Give me one good reason why not.

给我个好的理由为什么不适用

Because this is not startrek

因为这不是《星际迷航》

Penny

佩妮

Penny penny

佩妮佩妮

What

咋啦

This is banana bread.

这是香蕉面包

This is a door knob.

这是门把手

It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can

根据我的理解主动赠送食物

Be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat.

可以作为被邀请进屋聊天的敲门砖

Sheldon would you like to come in

谢尔顿想进来么

I suppose I could spare a few minutes.

那就聊一会吧

Were you robbed

你被抢劫啦

No.

没

How can you be sure

你怎么会这么肯定

Sheldon what do you want

谢尔顿你想干嘛

I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you

我知道你并不会惊讶

But leonard is failing in yet another relationship.

不过莱纳德又要失恋了

He's having problems with stephanie

他和斯蒂芬妮出问题了吗

She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the internet.

她在网上赠送给随机男性虚拟牲口

If I have any hope of keeping them together I need data.

我需要数据才能保证他们在一起

Specifically

特别是

I need to know exactly what leonard did that

我要确切地知道莱纳德做了什么

Caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.

让你"性"趣昂然

What

什么

Again urban slang.

还是都市俚语

In which I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.

我看我用得越来越溜了

So what is the "down" and the "low"

"往下来"和"找低处"[俚语中有口交之意]如何

And don't worry this is all entirely confidential so

别担心这完全是保密的

You feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.

你可以自由谈论其性事的缺陷

We never got to the bedroom.

我们从未上过床

Because

原因是

Oh okay all right you know what

好了知道吗

I'll tell you what happened.

我告诉你怎么回事

We were young we were very much in love

我们当时年少十分相爱

But we could only communicate through a

但我们只能通过

Time traveling mailbox at my lake house.

我湖边屋的时光穿梭邮箱交流[《看不见的恋人》中情节]

It's not enough that you made me watch that movie

你让我看那电影还不够

But now you mock me with it

你还用它嘲笑我

Gentlemen I have a question about dating and relationships.

绅士们我有个关于约会和恋爱的问题

You told me you were going to have the talk with him.

你说你已经和他谈过那个了[暗指性]

I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me.

我还等着有人和我谈那个呢

More to the point

更重要的是

It's about finding a way to keep leonard and stephanie together.

想办法让莱纳德和斯蒂芬妮继续交往下去

Oh I don't think you can.

我认为你做不到

Well why not

为什么不行

Look at leonard's record.

看看莱纳德的记录

27 days with joyce kim.

与乔伊斯·金交往二十七天

During which she defected to north korea.

然后她逃跑回了朝鲜

Two booty calls with leslie winkle.

与莱斯利·温克尔嘿咻两次

For which she awarded him the nickname "speed of light leonard."

因此得了个昵称"光速莱纳德"

And the three hour dinner with penny.

三次与佩妮共进晚餐

Which would have been two and a half if

如他们没坐下来点蛋奶酥的话

They ordered the souffle when they sat down.

就只能算是两次半

Based on the geometric progression

根据几何级数

His relationship with stephanie

他和斯蒂芬妮

should have ended after 20 minutes.

在20分钟后就该完蛋了

Yes I'm aware of the math.

我懂如何计算

Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth.

Y等于27天除以12的商

The issue remains.

问题仍未解决

How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection

我们如何能避免他不可避免的失败

Well if you want to guarantee his appeal to stephanie

如你想确保他在斯蒂芬妮的考虑之列

Your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet.

最有把握的是宰了这星球上所有别的男性

I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.

我告诉你什么不该做

Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the

别怂恿他用那广告上说的

Commercial where the women undress when they smell it.

女人闻到就会宽衣解带的香体喷雾

That doesn't work at all.

一点都没用

No matter how much you put on.

不管你洒了多少

So that's all you've got

这就是你们的本事

Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"

天启式的种族灭绝和"别轻信古龙水"

Yeah. yes.

-对啊 -是的

Penny.

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

What

什么事

Penny

佩妮

Zucchini bread.

西葫芦面包

Oh thank you.

谢谢

May I come in

我能进去吗

No.

不行

I see.

我懂了

Apparently

显然

My earlier inquiry regarding

我之前关于

you and leonard crossed some sort of line.

你和莱纳德的问题越界了

I apologize.

我道歉

Well thank you.

谢谢你

So have you and I returned to a social equilibrium

那我们又可以平等交谈了

Yes. great.

-是的 -很好

New topic.

新的话题

Where are you in your menstrual cycle

你现在在你月经周期里的哪一天

What

什么

I've been doing some research online

我在网上做了些调查

and apparently female primates

显然灵长目雌性

You know uh apes chimpanzees you.

猿黑猩猩你们

They find their mate more desirable

她们觉得她们的配偶

When he's being courted by another female.

被另一个雌性追求时更有吸引力

Now This effect is intensified when the rival female

当竞争的雌性在排卵期

Is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation.

分泌激素时这种效果更强烈

Which brings me back to my question.

这又回到我最初的问题

Where are you in your

你在...

Clearly I'm 14 days too early.

很显然我早来了14天

All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria

我是说要是能治疗黄热病和疟疾

Why can't they do something about lactose intolerance

为何不能治乳糖不耐症

Leonard you're going to have to let this go.

莱纳德撒手别想了

You had a little cheese dip you farted.

你吃点乳酪就放屁

I thought it was cute.

我觉得很可爱

Oh hi stephanie.

斯蒂芬妮

Wanna more wine

再来点红酒

Yeah I'm not driving anywhere tonight.

好的反正我今晚又不开车去哪

What are you doing

你在干什么

I have a craving for white asparagus

我特别想吃白芦笋

That apparently is destined to go unsatisfied.

但显然未能如愿

Excuse me.

失陪一下

What the hell is wrong with you

你到底怎么了

I'm helping you with stephanie.

我在帮你留住斯蒂芬妮

By making constipated moose sounds

通过像便秘的驼鹿一样叫唤

When I fail to open this jar and you succeed

当我没打开这瓶盖而你打开了

It will establish you as the "alpha" male.

这样你就像个男子汉

You see...

你知道吗

When a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination

当女性看到你在展示力量时

She produces the hormone oxytocin.

她会产生荷尔蒙催产素

If the two of you then engage in intercourse

之后如果你们俩交往的话

This will create the biochemical reaction in the brain

它会在大脑促生生物化学反应

Which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."

让人们想当然地以为自己陷入爱河

Would it work if I just punched you in the face

那我给你脸一拳管用吗

Yes actually it would but let's see how the lid goes.

当然可以但还是让我们看看这个行吗

I'm not strong enough leonard you'll have to do it.

莱纳德我不够强壮还是你来吧

Oh for god's sakes.

看在上帝的份上

Go ahead it's pre loosened.

开吧已经松动了

Do you want some help with that

需要帮助吗

No no no I got it.

不要不要我能搞定

No yeah yeah he's got it and that's not surprising.

没错没错他能搞定这不足为奇

This is something I long ago came to

很久以前当我陷入爱河的时候

Peace with in my role as the beta male.

我是可以打开的

Open it.

快开

Oh my god are you okay no I'm not.

-天呢你还好吗 -我不好

I'm bleeding.

流血了

Like a gladiator

像个角斗士一样

Oh honey you're going to need stitches.

你得缝几针

Stitches with a needle

缝几针用针缝吗

Well yeah I mean just a few.

对就几针

Oh okay yeah hang on a sec.

好的稍等一下

Fyi I was defrosting a steak in there.

顺便一提我正在那解冻牛排呢

What a beautiful job stephanie did.

斯蒂芬尼缝得可真漂亮

I might have gone with a mattress suture

我会用床垫缝纫法

instead of a blanket stitch

而不会用毯边锁缝纫法

But you can't argue with her results.

但她缝成这样你也只能认了

It's a shame it won't scar.

没留伤疤真是太可惜了

The war wound is a time honored badge of masculinity.

战伤可是古时男子汉的荣誉徽章

I can't remember a time when you weren't talking.

你什么时候能安静一会

Just for the record

言归正传

My efforts to establish you as the alpha

我费心费力把你打造成男子汉

Male were not aided by you bursting into tears.

你这么痛哭流涕可没啥帮助

I did not burst into tears my eyes just got a little watery.

我没痛哭流涕只是眼睛湿润了一下而已

Watery

湿润了一下

She stuck a needle into my hand

她用针刺我的手

Hey how's my big cry baby

我的小泪孩怎么样了

I didn't cry.

我没哭

Okay I'm just teasing you.

好吧我只是在逗你

But yeah you did.

不过你确实哭了

Okay it's all good.

好的没问题了

What do you say we get you home and put you to bed

我们送你回家扶你上床怎么样

Oh are you still going to spend the night

那你还在那过夜吗

Uh no I think that you probably need to rest.

不行我想你需要休息

She's right. as long as you're vomiting

她说得对你呕吐的时候

coitus is contra indicated.

交媾是禁忌的

Thank you dr. cooper.

谢谢你库珀博士

You're welcome dr. hofstadter.

言重了霍夫斯塔德博士

Okay I'm going to go get your discharge papers.

好吧我去拿你的出院单

What

怎么了

Well you seem like a perfectly pleasant person.

你就像只可爱至极的小鸟

I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you.

我真不明白为什么你那么不招女人待见呢

Hey can you open this for me

能替我打开吗

Can I see your stitches

我能看你的缝针吗

Sure.

可以

Answering the question once and for all

终于明白为什么

Why wolowitz bailed out of medical school.

沃罗威茨会退出医学院了

Leonard congratulations.

莱纳德可喜可贺啊

What for

为啥

Your facebook status update.

你在facebook里的资料更新了

Leonard hofstadter is "in a relationship."

莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德恋爱了

What no. no that's not right.

什么不对这不对

Oh man did you switch your status before she did

伙计在她更新前你就更新你的了

Speaking as an expert way to look needy.

以我专业人士的眼光来看真是饥不择食啊

Seriously

动真格的吗

You went first after only two weeks

才两周你就先表白了

That's bold...

真是有胆

It's not bold it's a mistake.

这不是有胆这是个误会

I didn't change my status.

我没更新我的资料

Well then who did

那是谁干的

I had no choice. he cried in front of her.

我别无选择他都在人家面前哭了

You hacked my facebook account

你侵入了我在facebook里的账户

Oh it's hardly hacking

这算不上侵入

when you use the same password for everything

做什么你都用这个密码

"kal el."

卡尔-艾尔[就是超人]

Are you insane

你疯了吗

Now she's going to think I'm desperate.

她现在会以为我是没人要的

You've destroyed this relationship

你毁了我们的关系

And you want to know what the worst part is

你知道最糟糕的是什么吗

You don't even understand what you did wrong because you

你根本不知道自己哪里做错了因为你

Can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in

自以为在任何方面你都是专家

In which I am not an expert.

在那方面我不是

Don't even

不要说话

I don't want to hear another word out of you.

我一个字都不想听

What's wrong lassie timmy fall down the well

怎么了莱西蒂米掉到井里了吗[《灵犬莱西》里情节]

She just updated her facebook status.

她也更新了自己在facebook里的资料

"stephanie barnett is in a relationship

斯蒂芬尼·巴内特和莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德

with leonard hofstadter."

相恋了

Really

真的吗

Oh look at that.

瞧瞧这个

I have a girlfriend.

我有女友了

If I am permitted to speak again

容许我再说一句

dr. sheldon cooper for the win.

谢尔顿·库珀博士:为胜利而生

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