生活大爆炸-S05E08_生活大爆炸

S01

So Bernadette how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses

伯纳黛特伴娘的礼服找得怎样了

Well if you don't mind looking like

如果你不介意看上去像个

an orange traffic cone great.

橙色交通锥的话已经找到了

Girlfriends I have the answer to our dress problems.

闺蜜们我有办法解决礼服的问题

Really

真的吗

12 years ago my cousin Irene and her entire family

十二年前我表妹艾琳全家

died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident

在她结婚前晚全死于一场可怕的

the night before her wedding.

一氧化碳中毒事故

That's horrible.

人间惨剧啊

Yes and no.

这倒未必

All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused

那些还没被穿过的伴娘衣服

and available to us for free.

咱们就能免费享用了

So it seems that cloud of odorless deadly gas

只能说大难全死

had a silver lining after all.

必有后福啊

Check it out

你们看

still in the bags.

都还在袋子里呢

The gowns not the bridesmaids.

不是说尸袋是说礼服防尘袋

I don't know.

这个嘛

Dead people's dresses

穿死人剩的衣服不太好吧

Yeah and cap sleeve...

是啊而且那超短袖...

Oh I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

我还希望你们不会注意到呢

Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes

艾琳总对打折的服饰毫无抵抗力

and sadly as it turned out space heaters.

超短袖太冷开暖气才一氧化碳中毒的

Ladies please.

女士们自制啊

These four walls once housed an intellectual salon

这间屋子曾是一个智慧的集合地

where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach.

在这里大脑和胃袋都能吸收到营养

But through no one's fault

虽然没人有错

Penny

佩妮

the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined.

但晚餐谈话的质量的确下滑了

And again I'm looking at no one in particular

再次重申这事谁都不怪

Penny.

佩妮

Fine.

好吧

What would you like to talk about Sheldon

那你想聊什么谢尔顿

What would you like to talk about Sheldon

你居然问谢尔顿想聊什么

Why do you hate us

你何苦要逼死大家呢

I've prepared a number of topics that should appeal to

我准备了一些应该能同时吸引

both the advanced and novice conversationalists.

高阶谈天霸与低档聊天人的话题

Okay that time you looked at me.

你明显意有所指的瞄了我

Who didn't

谁不想瞄你啊

Your skin is like alabaster.

你的皮肤白璧无瑕

Do you even have pores

感觉根本没毛孔啊

Topic one

第一个话题

"Faster than light particles at CERN

欧洲核子研究中心宣布超光速离子的存在

paradigm shifting discovery

这是范式转换的新发现

or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese "

还是像它们的乳酪一样千疮百孔的笑谈

And converse.

开始高谈阔论吧

All right who wants to go

好吧谁想来

to my apartment and look at bridal magazines

我屋子里看看婚礼杂志

Oh me.

我去看

Through no one's fault Sheldon we're leaving.

完全不怪任何人谢尔顿我们闪人了

Wait for moi.

等等人家啦

You're leaving

你也要走吗

Sheldon sometimes you forget I'm a lady.

谢尔顿有时你忘记了我也是一名女士

and with that comes with an oestrogen fuel need to page through

女人天生带一种雌激素促使我们一边

thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.

翻阅光鲜厚重的杂志一边暗恨自己身材不佳

New topice women.

新话题: 女人们

Delightfully mysterious or bat crap crazy

讨人喜爱的谜女还是令人厌恶的八婆

Totally.

说得好

What's wrong with cap sleeves

超短袖有哪里不好了

If you have the right figure for it they're adorable.

只要身形适合穿起来超卡哇伊啊

第五季第八集

《生活大爆炸》

Hey Amy what brings you to our neck of the woods

哟艾米什么风把你吹来这了

Your neurology department loaned me a culture of prions

你们神经科学部门借了我朊病毒培养箱

for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

来协助我牛海绵状脑病的研究

She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.

她是来讨一杯疯牛病

It's hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious

把脑部退化疾病说得诙谐可不容易

and yet somehow you do it.

但你总能化正经为笑料

That's fun to have in a lunchroom.

餐桌上谈这个还"真"有意思啊

The real fun starts when you get to pick the rat

真正的乐趣始于你能挑选

you're going to feed it to and maybe you choose

任意小白鼠来注入病毒

the beady eyed little mother who's been biting you all week.

搞不好选中的就是那只老咬你的鼠妈妈

Please we're eating.

拜托我们在吃饭呢

Can we get that off the table

可不可以把那东西拿下桌

and change the subject

然后换个话题聊啊

Can we

换话题吗

Stand back...

屏息以待吧

while I turn this conversation into a "Conver sensation."

看哥怎么将聊天打屁升华到指点江山

This time it's your fault.

这次完全是你自找的

I have 100 alphabetized topics from

我有一百个按字母顺序排列的话题从

"Artichoke come on people it's just a giant thistle "

"洋蓟:这不过是蓟长得大一点罢了"

to "Zzz the onamona poetry of sleep."

到"《打鼾》:以鼾声为诗"

Amy how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me

艾米疯牛病毒得多久才弄得死我啊

I don't know four or five years.

我也不知道四五年吧

No it's not gonna do it.

不行远水救不了近火

Oy. Bernadette keeps texting me pictures

伯纳黛特一直发给我

of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.

佩妮试伴娘礼服的照片

They're out shopping right now

她们现在在逛街吗

Yeah.

是啊

Just the two of them

只有她们两人吗

I guess.

我想是吧

That's cool that's cool.

很好非常好

Why are they asking me about this stuff

她们为毛问我这种事情啊

What guy knows what a sweetheart neckline is

哪个男人能知道鸡心领是什么玩意

Leonard's coming down the home stretch

莱纳德要终点前冲刺啦

Come on horsey you can do this

加油啊马儿你能行的

Damn. Come on thigh muscles you can do this

该死拜托大腿肌肉你也能行

Yes First place.

太棒了冠军

I would have been a great jockey if I weren't too tall.

我肯定能当一名好骑士要不是小时候太高...

and scared of horses.

和害怕马的话

Sheldon you're up.

谢尔顿该你了

What

什么

Come on it's your turn.

快点该你了

We said we'd get more fresh air.

我们说好要呼吸新鲜空气的

Sorry. I'm a little distracted.

抱歉我有点心烦意乱

I can't seem to get in touch with Amy.

我联系不到艾米了

I tried e mail video chat

不管是发邮件邀请视频

tweeting her posting on her Facebook wall

在推特上找她或在她主页上留言

texting her nothing.

发短信都没用

Did you try calling her on the telephone

你打过她家里电话吗

The telephone.

对呀打座机

You know Leonard in your own simple way

莱纳德在你的简单世界里

you may be the wisest of us all.

你是个举世无双的天才

Voice mail.

语音信箱

Curiouser and curiouser.

真是奇了怪了

If you're worried we can go over there

要是你不放心我们可以过去

and see if she's all right.

看看她是否有事

Okay.

好吧

You know I heard in the news

话说我看到一条新闻

a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood.

她家那一带有人目击山猫出没

I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat.

艾米很安全不会被山猫吃掉的

Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat

谁说艾米被山猫吃掉了

You do

你呀

Leonard I was just mentioning an interesting local news item.

莱纳德我不过是说说当地新闻

Now thanks to you I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.

都怪你害我开始担心艾米被山猫吃掉了

Forget about the bobcat.

就忘了山猫这档事吧

How can I You won't stop talking about it

你猛提山猫谁忘得掉啊

Everybody hurts

世间伤心事

Sometimes

时有心伤

Everybody cries

惟见泪千行

Everybody hurts

世间伤心事

Sometimes.

时有心伤

She sounds weepy.

她哭哭啼啼的

I don't like weepy. Let's go.

我讨厌人家哭哭啼啼咱们走吧

She's your friend.

她可是你朋友

Step up.

爷们点

Amy. Amy. Amy.

艾米艾米艾米

Bye.

撤了

Where are you going

你要去哪

I'm single I don't need this crap.

爷我是单身不用搅和这破事

Sheldon what are you doing here

谢尔顿你来做什么

You didn't respond to

我和你的电子通信

any of my electronic communications.

你全都没回应

I wanted to be alone.

我想一个人待着

Would you like to talk about it

你想聊聊吗

And keep in mind that "No" is a perfectly viable answer.

友情提醒想回答"不想说"可别客气

Sheldon my world is crumbling around me.

谢尔顿我的世界要崩溃了

Point of order.

按照程序

As you're in distress it would be customary

因为你不开心按照惯例

for me to offer you a hot beverage.

我该给你倒杯热饮

But I'm a guest in your home

但我是你的客人

so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage.

按照惯例你该给我倒杯饮料

How do you want to proceed vis à vis beverages

你想要怎么来面对面互倒饮料呀

It doesn't matter.

无所谓

Nothing matters.

都无所谓了

If you'd like to take your mind off what's troubling you

如果你想聊别的不谈这事

uh word on the street is a bobcat has been spotted.

坊间传言有人目击这附近有山猫出没

Penny and Bernadette went shopping

佩妮和伯纳黛特没叫我

for bridesmaids dresses without me.

就自己去买伴娘礼服了

And that made you feel...

这让你...

sad

不开心吗

Yes.

是的

I knew it.

我就知道

Just keep going.

继续说

I guess I'm good at this.

我好像还挺会读心啊

It's just I thought they liked hanging out with me

我以为她们是喜欢和我一起玩的

but I guess I was fooling myself.

原来我只是自己骗自己

When they were over here

是不是她们来你家的时候

did you fail to offer them a beverage

你没给人家倒饮料啊

'Cause I can see how that could stick in someone's craw.

某些人对这事很在意很不爽

Sheldon I'm going to ask you something

谢尔顿我想请你做件事

and I'd like you to keep an open mind.

希望你不要用异样眼光看待

Always.

一贯如此

At this moment I find myself

此时此刻我很渴望

craving human intimacy and physical contact.

与人有亲密行为和肢体接触

Oh boy.

亲娘咧

You know ours is a relationship of the mind.

你知道我们的关系仅限于精神层面

Proposal.

我提议

One wild night of torrid lovemaking

咱俩一夜激情大战数千回合

that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.

既能抚慰我心也令我胯下湿热

Counterproposal.

反提议

I will gently stroke your head

我会轻轻地梳你的头

and repeat "aw who's a good Amy""

然后反复地说 "谁是乖乖艾米宝贝啊"

How about this

那这样如何

French kissing seven minutes in heaven

法式热吻七分钟的巅峰体验

culminating in second base.

在你上我二垒后划下句点

Neck massage...

我帮你揉脖子

...then you get me that beverage.

然后你给我倒杯饮料

We cuddle. Final offer.

我们抱一下不商量了

Very well.

好吧

Oh boy.

真要命

I'm just saying second base is right there.

我就说说二垒你触手可得...

Mm I'm thinking about adopting some quirky affectation

我在考虑给自己搞个另类造型

like a pipe or a monocle

比如弄个烟斗单片眼镜

or a handlebar mustache.

或是翘八字胡

For all those girls out there

给外面那些满脑子想钓

looking for the Indian Monopoly man

印度钻石王老五一个明确的目标吗

This is not a safe place.

这国家太危险了

You can't share anything here.

什么东西都不能露白

The two of you need to get your women in line

你们两个给哥管好你们的女人

What

啥

Last night I was strong armed

昨一整晚我被强迫

into an evening of harp music

听那烦人的竖琴

and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler.

还得让情绪化的艾米·法拉·福勒熊抱

This on a night

本来那天晚上

that I had originally designated for solving

我是计划好要解决

the space time geometry in higher spin gravity

更高自旋引力场下的时空几何问题

and building my Lego Death Star.

以及搭乐高死星的呢

And why Your gal pals Penny and Bernadette

结果因为你们的马子佩妮和伯纳黛特

went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy

偷偷跑去买婚礼垃圾也不叫上艾米

an action they took with no thought or regard

她们完全没有想过

as to how it would affect me the future of string theory

她们会影响到我影响弦理论的未来

or my Lego fun time

还影响我的乐高欢乐时光

What do you want us to do about it

那你想我们怎么办呢

You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence

你显然没仔细听我的主题句

Get your women in line

管好你们的女人

You make them apologize to Amy and set things right.

叫她们去跟艾米道歉把关系修复好

I am a man of science not someone's snuggle bunny

我是个搞科研的人不是某人的抱抱兔

Why do I have to talk to Penny

为什么要我去跟佩妮谈

She's not my girlfriend.

她又不是我女朋友

You invited her to lunch four years ago.

四年前是你请她过来吃午饭的

Everything about her is on you you make it so

她的事全怪你你给我搞定她

Moo shu is Penny. Thank you.

-木须肉是佩妮的 -谢谢

Where's Sheldon

谢尔顿呢

He was up late last night

他昨晚熬夜了

so I gave him an early dinner and put him to bed.

我提早喂他食哄他睡觉了

That's so sweet.

你真是体贴

Yeah but now he's gonna be up at dawn and want to play.

不过明天一大早他就会起床闹着玩了

So listen guys

其实呢

the reason he was up late is because he was

他昨晚之所以熬夜是因为

taking care of Amy.

他要照顾艾米

She's kind of upset.

她有点伤心

Why

为什么

Her feelings got hurt because you guys

她的感情有点受伤因为你们

went dress shopping without her.

没叫她一起去逛街

I told you that would happen.

我跟你说了她会不高兴

Okay look this is her first time being a bridesmaid

这是她第一次做伴娘

and she's just getting a little crazy with it.

她有点兴奋过头了

She keeps on telling us stories about bridesmaid traditions

她老是不停地说不同文化里的伴娘习俗

in other cultures and they're all about

而且都是得脱得光溜溜

getting naked and washing each other.

互相给对方搓澡的那种

Yeah and she keeps trying

对她还老想知道

to figure out if our cycles have synced up

我们的月经有没有同步

so we can call ourselves "The three menstra teers"

我们才能自诩为"三个同经手"

仿三个火枪手

We thought it would be easier

我们以为不叫她

to look at dresses one time without her.

一起去逛礼服会比较省事

I feel terrible.

我感觉好内疚

I know. Me too. We'll talk to her.

我也内疚我们会找她谈

Hey wait

等等

how did she find out

她怎么知道的

Raj did it.

拉杰告的密

And he says he would do it again.

他说下次还会揭你们的短

Hey I'm sorry.

好吧对不起

You sent me the picture I wasn't thinking.

你给我发照片我当时没多想就说漏嘴了

Oh Howie. Well hey I'm usually

-华仔 -别这样平时

pretty good at not blabbing.

我的嘴巴还是挺严的

You tell me tons of stuff about these guys

你跟我说了那么多他们的事

and I never repeat it.

我从来都没说出去

What do you tell him Oh

-你跟他说什么了 -没说啥

you know just pillow talk.

就一些枕边的私房话

You guys have nothing to worry about.

你们什么都不用担心

Hold on did you talk about us when we were dating

咱两相好时你没跟人家说啥吧

No. All your little secrets are fine.

没有你的小秘密我都没说过

Yes absolutely fine.

是啊她绝对没说

I'll tell you later.

我迟些再告诉你

Come on tumor.

来吧肿瘤

Come on tumor Mama needs an aggressive little glioblastoma.

来吧肿瘤老娘要的就是扩散的小恶性胶质瘤

Yay brain tumor

爽啊脑瘤

Probably not the same reaction you had when you got the news.

你得知有脑瘤时的反映估计跟我不一样

Hi. Hello.

-嗨 -你好

What are you doing here

你们怎么来了

Well look we just wanted to apologize

我们是来道歉的

for not bringing you with us the other day.

那天没叫上你一起去逛礼服

That's not necessary it's like Sesame Street says

没必要道歉这就跟《芝麻街》里说的一样

"One of these things is not like the other

"这个东西跟与众不同"

one of these things should die alone."

"这个东西将孤独终老"

Come on Amy let us make it up to you.

别这样嘛艾米让我们补偿你

We'll have a girl's night

咱们办个闺蜜之夜

we'll do whatever you want.

你想干啥咱就干啥

We can go down to the Korean baths

我们可以去韩国洗浴中心

and do that thing you were talking about

照你说的那样

where we wash each other.

互相给对方搓澡

With with loofah mitts no hands.

戴着丝瓜络手套搓不是用手摸

It's okay. I'm glad this happened.

没关系我很高兴发生这样的事

I can stop pretending that some beautiful girl

我再也不用假装某个美女

and her cute in the right light friend

和她找准角度还算可爱的朋友

want to hang out with me.

喜欢和我一起玩了

Amy we're really sorry.

艾米我们真的很抱歉

Yeah we feel awful.

对我们觉得特内疚

Don't. I'll be okay. You're not the first girls

别我会没事的你们也不是第一个

I thought were friends with me who ended up shunning me.

我以为是我的朋友结果处处躲着我的女孩子

It's like elementary school junior high

感觉就像回到了小学初中

high school undergrad grad school

高中大学研究院

and that semester abroad in Norway all over again.

还有去挪威交换的那学期一样

Oh come on Amy.

别这样嘛艾米

You don't get it.

你不懂

Look at this brain.

看看这个大脑

I don't really want to.

我实在不想看

This is us.

这就像我们

Bernadette you are the analytical

伯纳黛特你就是善于

scientific left hemisphere.

科学分析的左脑

Penny you're the creative spontaneous right hemisphere.

佩妮你就是有自主创造力的右脑

And where's Amy

艾米在哪呢

She's right here the sad little tumor

她在这里可怜的小肿瘤

no one wants to go dress shopping with.

没人愿意跟她一起去逛街

Amy you're not a tumor.

艾米你不是肿瘤

Penny tell her she's not a tumor.

佩妮告诉她她不是肿瘤

Did you know that when Alexander Graham Bell

你知道亚历山大·格拉汉姆·贝尔

invented the telephone

发明电话时

he proposed answering it with "Ahoy"

他提议接电话时说"啊嘿"吗

啊嘿[Ahoy] 海盗或船员常用的打招呼语

Ahoy.

啊嘿

I like it.

我喜欢

Amy Is that you

艾米是你吗

Have you been drinking

你喝酒啦

I'm sorry I bet my sweet what

你说什么没我屁屁个错...

Well all right. We're on our way.

好吧我们这就去

What's going on

怎么了

It would seem Amy is drunk in a liquor store parking lot.

艾米在一家贩酒店的停车场喝得烂醉

Really Amy

真的吗艾米

Leonard be glad you can't keep a woman.

莱纳德你该庆幸自己留不住女人

They are a handful.

她们真是难搞

Oh look.

看哪

It's Sheldon and little Leonard.

是小谢和小莱驾到

Hi little Leonard.

嗨小莱

Hi Amy.

嗨艾米

Hey Cuddles.

嗨小"抱"贝

Cuddles

小"抱"贝

Yes Cuddles. We cuddled.

对小"抱"贝我们抱过了

Grow up Leonard.

少幼稚的猛问了莱纳德

Amy what are you doing here

艾米你在这干嘛

I came here to get a bottle of wine

我来这买酒

like Penny taught me to do when you're sad.

佩妮教过我借酒浇愁

Yeah but why didn't you go back to your apartment

是啊但你怎么不回家喝

Didn't you go to high school Leonard

你没上过中学吗莱纳德

Parking lots are where all the cool kids hang out.

酷小孩都在停车场鬼混

Not that the rat bastards ever invited me.

虽然那些王八蛋从没邀请过我来

Maybe we should get you home.

我们还是带你回家吧

Oh hang on hang on hang on. Sheldon

等等等等谢尔顿

what would it take for you to go into that liquor store

要怎么样你才肯去隔壁

buy a bottle of hooch

买一瓶烈酒

take me across the street to that motel

然后带我去街对面那家旅馆

and have your way with me

跟我大搞特搞一番呢

Yeah Sheldon what would it take

是啊谢尔顿你要怎样才肯

I'm begging both of you please let's go.

我求求你们了快走吧

Okay.

好吧

Come on.

来吧

Upsy daisy.

起来没事啦

Ooh finally someone found second base.

终于有人碰我二垒了

I know how you feel.

我懂你的痛

I got a knife slicing through my frontal lobe too.

我的大脑前庭也像被刀子划过一样

What do you want

找我干嘛

Do you want me to give the friendship bracelet back

是要我把友谊手镯还给你吗

I never gave you a friendship bracelet.

我没给过你友谊手镯

When we first met I made one and pretended you gave it to me.

我们刚认识时我做了一个假装是你给我的

You can have it back if you want.

你要的话我可以还给你

No you made that for you I want you to have it.

不你给自己做的我想你好好留着

We know you're upset and you have every right to be

我们知道你很伤心你完全有理由伤心

but if it's okay with you we'd like a second chance

如果可以请再给我们一个机会

to make things right.

纠正我们的错误

We are really sorry

我们真的很抱歉

and we were trying to think of some way to show you

我们想努力向你表达

how much we care about you.

我们有多在乎你

Which is why

所以

it would mean so much if you would agree

如果你能当我婚礼的首席伴娘

to be the maid of honor at my wedding.

那就真是太好了

What Wait is this some kind of practical joke

什么等等这是什么恶作剧吗

Like in Norway when my "Friends"

就像在挪威我所谓的"朋友"

trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter

骗我跟发情的水獭洗桑拿那样吗

No. I I want you to be the maid of honor.

不我真的想请你当我的首席伴娘

Oh my gosh.

我的天哪

No one's every asked me to be the maid of honor before.

都没有人请我当过首席伴娘呢

Well that's not true.

哦不对

Once but then they all died.

有过一次不过她们都死了

So is that a yes

这么说你答应啦

Yes. Yes.

答应当然答应

Oh my gosh

老天哪

I I have so much to do.

我有太多事要做了

There's the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.

要准备新娘婚前派对和单身女郎派对

What should we do for the bachelorette party

单身女郎派对要做什么好呢

Oh I know we'll go to a Native American sweat lodge

我知道了我们去印第安人的蒸汗屋

we'll take peyote roll around in the mud

带上龙舌兰酒去烂泥里打滚

and paint fertility symbols on Bernadette's naked body.

接着在伯纳黛特裸体上画生育符号

So that's happening.

终于要去做这事了

Yeah sure sure.

是啊当然真好

Vegas is fun too.

拉斯维加斯也很好玩啊

I feel like crying.

我有种想哭的冲动

Of course I could just be hormonal.

当然可能只是荷尔蒙作祟

Oh wait. Maybe our menses are finally syncing up.

等等说不定我们的月经终于同步了

Bernadette

伯纳黛特你快到了吗

No Penny

没有吗佩妮呢

Sorry. Really

-抱歉 -真的吗

Okay yeah.

好啦是到了

Yay

太好了

Maid of honor Amy Farrah Fowler's

首席伴娘艾米·菲拉·福勒的

amazing behind the scenes wedding video

婚礼录像之"精彩幕后故事"

take one.

片段一

We're just trying on dresses

我们只是在试衣服

do we really need to record this

真的要拍吗

I'm sorry are you the maid of honor

抱歉你是首席伴娘吗

I am the bride.

我是新娘

So no. And action.

所以你不是开拍

What do you think

觉得怎样

I love it

我喜欢

What are you a nun

这身什么啊尼姑装吗

Come on bestie let's see some skin.

拜托闺蜜露点肉肉嘛

Amy Looking sexy

艾米真性感

You think they don't have mirrors in there

你以为这里没镜子的吗

I know how I look.

我当然知道自己有多美

Bernadette you look beautiful

伯纳黛特你真是太美了

You do. Thank you.

-是很美 -谢谢

Not Penny beautiful but beautiful.

没佩妮那么美不过还是挺美

Come on bestie you're up.

快点闺蜜到你了

Give me a minute.

再等我一会儿

What is taking you so long

你在干嘛啊这么慢

Oh Amy Get the hell out of here

艾米滚出去

Sorry sorry. Oh God.

-抱歉抱歉 -天哪

Amy Sorry.

-艾米 -抱歉

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