第三季第九集
生活大爆炸
So two years later there's a knock on the door.
两年之后 突然有人敲门了
Guy opens it and there on his porch is the snail
那人打开门 看见门口立着只蜗牛
who says "What the heck was all that about "
蜗牛说 "这TM是怎么回事?"
I don't really get it.
我不知道笑点在哪儿
Well see it took two years for the snail to...
你看 蜗牛花了两年的时间才...
Not important.
那不重要
Can I ask you a question Sure.
-我能问你个问题吗 -当然
Where do you think this is going
你认为我们会发展到什么程度
To be honest I was hoping at least second base.
老实说 我本来希望至少上个二垒
You're so funny.
你真风趣
You're like a stand up comedian.
你就像是个单口相声演员
A Jewish stand up comedian that'd be new.
一个犹太单口相声演员 这很新鲜
Actually I think a lot of them are Jewish.
事实上 我觉得他们当中很多都是犹太人
No I was just... Never mind.
不 我只是 算了
Look Howard this is our third date
霍华德 这是我们的第三次约会
and we both know what that means.
我们都知道这意味着什么
We do Sex.
-都知道吗 -性
You're kidding.
你开玩笑的吧
But I need to know whether you're looking
但我需要知道你是要谈
for a relationship or a one night stand.
一场恋爱还是要一夜情
Okay just to be clear
好的 只是搞清楚点
there's only one correct answer right
这个问题只有一个正确答案吗
It's not like "chicken or fish" on an airplane
而不是飞机选餐里的要"鸡肉还是鱼肉"
Maybe you need to think about it a little.
也许你需要认真思考一下这个问题了
You know it's not unheard of
也不是没有过
for a one night stand to turn into a relationship.
从一夜情发展为恋爱关系的事
Call me when you figure it out.
等你想明白了再给我打电话
Three dates means sex
三次约会意味着性
Who knew
谁知道啊
Greetings homies.
向你致敬 宅男
Homette.
宅女
Why are you back from your date so early
为什么这么早就结束约会回来了
In romance as in show business
谈恋爱 就要跟在娱乐业一样
always leave them wanting more.
总是要让观众欲求不满
What exactly does that mean
这到底是什么意思
He struck out.
他被三振出局了
Hey did either of you guys know
你们两个知道
that three dates with the same woman
与同一个女人约会三次
is the threshold for sex
就可以上床的临界点?
Actually I've never had three dates with the same woman.
事实上 我从未与同一女人约会三次
With Penny and me it took two years.
而我和佩妮花了两年
Now that I think about it that was three dates.
现在认真回想一下 的确是三次约会
Okay well before you and Penny hooked up
好吧 那在你和佩妮搞上之前
Did she ask for any kind of commitment
她有没有要求什么承诺
No she was pretty clear about
没 她倒是非常清楚地表示
wanting to keep her options open.
要有保持随时换人的权力
I have something to announce
我有东西要宣布一下
but out of respect for convention I will wait for you
但是出于惯例 我会等你们
to finish your current conversation.
说完现在的话题
What are you talking about
你们在聊什么呢
The cultural paradigm in which people have sex
一种文化模式
after three dates.
就是人们会在三次约会后做爱
I see.
原来如此
Now are we talking "date " the social interaction
现在我们是说的"date"是指社交活动
or "date " the dried fruit
还是指干枣
Never mind what's your announcement
算了 你要宣布什么
Oh good my turn. Well this is very exciting
很好 轮到我了 这令人非常兴奋
and I wanted you to be among the first to know...
并且我想让你们最先知道
Hey Cooper.
嗨 库珀
I hear you're going to be on the radio
我听说你下周要和《科学星期五》的
with Ira Flatow from Science Friday next week.
艾拉·弗雷托上广播节目
Thank you Kripke for depriving me of the opportunity
谢谢 克瑞普克 剥夺了我跟我的朋友
to share my news with my friends.
分享这则新闻的机会
My pleasure.
很荣幸
My "thank you" was not sincere.
我的"谢谢"可不是诚恳的
But "my pleasure" is.
但我的"很荣幸"是的
Let me ask you a question
让我问你个问题
At what point did National Public Radio
什么时候国家公共广播
have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel
不得不邀请一些废材
for its guests
作为嘉宾呢
Don't answer. It's rhetorical.
别回答 这是个比喻
Why are you such a stupid head
为什么你是个笨蛋
That is also rhetorical.
这也是个比喻
I'm sorry you had to hear that.
真抱歉你们不得不听到这些
Are you really going to be on NPR
你真的要上国家公共广播吗
Yes they're interviewing me by phone from my office
没错 他们通过我办公室的电话采访我
regarding the recent so called "discovery"
问一些最近所谓的"发现"
of magnetic monopoles in spin ices.
关于自旋冰中的磁单极子
It's pledge week and they're trying to goose the ratings
因为是誓言周 他们想通过一些辩论
with a little controversy.
来提高收听率
Very cool congratulations.
真酷 恭喜你
Thank you. My mother is very excited.
谢谢 我妈妈也非常兴奋
She's convening her Bible study group to listen in
她召集了她的圣经学习小组来收听
and then pray for my soul.
然后为我的灵魂祈祷
I was on the radio once.
我曾经上过一次电台
I called in to Fever 104 FM New Delhi
我打进了新德里的狂热FM104的热线
and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays
成为了第四个说一句话就能拿钱的人
"Fever 104 aajke naye acchha sangeetka ghar."
"狂热104 aajke naye acchha sangeetka ghar."
That means "Fever 104
意思是 "狂热104
home of the really good current music."
超棒流行音乐之家
It's much catchier in Hindi.
还是在印度语里说更拉风
All right. These are the talking points
好的 这些是明天上国家公共广播
for my NPR interview tomorrow.
访谈的讲点
I need to make sure that they're simple enough
我必须确定它们对于那些
for the less educated in the audience to understand.
教育程度较低的听众来说也足够简单易懂
Howard look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.
霍华德 看一遍然后告诉我你哪里不懂
Excuse me I have a master's degree in engineering
劳驾 我有麻省理工大学的
from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
工程硕士学位证书
It required the completion of 144 units of grad work
要求修完144个学分
and an original thesis.
和一篇原创论文
Yes.
没错
Look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.
看完告诉我有哪些不清楚的
You know when Sheldon gives you homework
谢尔顿让你做事
you don't have to do it.
你可以拒绝
In fact it's better if you don't
其实你拒绝更好
otherwise it makes the rest of us look bad.
不然搞得我们几个很尴尬
Hi guys. Hey. Hello.
-各位好 -你好
Yo Raj talk to me.
拉杰 跟我说话
I'm sorry just screwing with you.
抱歉 耍你而已
Hey Howard why haven't you called Bernadette
霍华德 你干嘛不打电话给伯纳黛特
Did she say something
她说什么了吗
Yeah she said she hasn't heard from you in a week.
她说你一个星期没跟她联系了
I thought you liked her
我以为你喜欢她呢
I do but she wants a commitment
是喜欢 但她要我给个承诺
and I'm not sure she's my type.
我又不确定她是不是我喜欢的类型
She agreed to go out with you for free.
她都愿意免费跟你约会
What more do you need
你还想怎么样
Look Bernadette is really nice.
伯纳黛特是很好
I just always thought when I finally settle down
我只是一直觉得 当我想认真的对待感情时
into a relationship it would be with someone
对方应该是一个
you know different.
你知道 一个特别的人
Different how
怎么特别
Well you know more like Megan Fox from Transformers.
更像《变形金刚》里的梅根·福克斯啦
Or Katee Sackhoff
或者《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》里的
from Battlestar Galactica.
凯蒂·萨克霍夫啦
Are you high
你嗑药啦
You'd have a better shot with the three breasted
你跟《宇宙威龙》里有三个咪咪的
Martian hooker from Total Recall.
火星妓女在一起的可能性更大点
Okay now you're just being unrealistic.
你说的太不实际了
Anyway that movie was like 20 years ago.
那部电影都差不多20年了
Imagine how saggy those thing would be.
想想那些咪咪该下垂成什么样了
Howard you're going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette
霍华德 你想守着你的荒诞幻想不放
because you're holding out for some ridiculous fantasy
而放过像伯纳黛特这么好的女生吗
Hey just because you settled doesn't mean I have to.
你的感情定下来了不代表我也要这样吧
Excuse me I'm sitting here.
喂 我在这坐着呢
Hey I did not settle for Leonard.
我又没有和莱纳德定下来
I mean obviously he isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with...
他显然不像我通常约会的类型
you know physically.
体格上不像
Again I'm right here.
再说一次 我在呢
My point is I do not judge a book by its cover.
我的意思是 我不会以封面断定书的好坏
I am interested in the person underneath.
我更在意人的内心
I am here right You see me.
我在这吧 你看得见我
Hey I'm interested in what's inside people too
我也在意人的内心啊
but why is it wrong to want those insides wrapped up in
但是希望内心外面包装点像
say the delicious caramel that is Halle Berry
哈莉·贝瑞(肤色黑)的巧克力不对吗
Yes you're delicious caramel too.
对 你也是巧克力装
All right you know what I will tell you
行 我告诉为什么不对
why it's wrong... Excuse me may I interject
抱歉 我能插下话吗
What
干嘛
Biologically speaking
从生物学角度上说
Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate
霍华德想找最佳伴侣繁殖后代
for the propagation of his genetic line.
完全合情合理
Thank you Sheldon. Now whether that
-谢谢 谢尔顿 -不过
propagation is in the interest of humanity is of course
但这种繁殖如果站在人类进化的角度来看
an entirely different question.
又是完全不同的问题
This is Ira Flatow and you're listening
我是艾拉·弗莱托
to NPR's Science Friday.
您正在收听的是公共广播电台的周五科学
Joining us today by phone
今晚跟我们电话连线的是
from his office in Pasadena California
在加州帕萨迪纳办公室里的
is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
谢尔顿·库珀博士
Oh this is going to be a riot.
这个肯定很好玩
Thanks for being with us today Dr. Cooper.
欢迎参加我们的节目 库珀博士
My pleasure Ira.
我很荣幸 艾拉
Now let's talk about magnetic monopoles.
我们讨论一下磁单极子吧
Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is
你能给听众解释一下什么是磁单极子吗
Of course.
当然可以
First consider an ordinary magnet which has
首先 一块普通的磁铁
as even the most uneducated
即使教育程度再低的听众
in your audience must know two poles.
都应该知道 有两个磁极
A north and south pole.
南极和北极
If you cut that in half you have two smaller magnets
把磁铁切成两半 则变成较小的两块磁铁
each with its own north and south pole.
每块都有南北两极
Uh Dr. Cooper I think there might be
库珀博士 我们的连线
something wrong with our connection.
可能出了点问题
No I hear you fine.
不 我听得很清楚
As I was saying an ordinary magnet has two poles.
正如我刚刚说的 普通磁铁有两个磁极
The primary characteristic of a monopole
磁单极子的主要特征是
is that it has only one pole hence monopole.
它只有一个磁极 因此称为磁单极子
A requirement for string theory
弦理论 或者说M理论
or M theory if you will
的一个必要条件
is the existence of such monopoles.
是存在磁单极子
I myself led an expedition
我本人曾带领一个考察队
to the Arctic Circle in search of said particles.
前往北极圈探寻这种粒子
Kripke I found the nozzle I'm going to kill you
克瑞普克 我看到喷嘴了 你死定了
So nice you could join me this evening.
真高兴你今晚能和我共浴
You're looking lovely as always.
你跟往常一样漂亮
Thanks Howard.
过奖 霍华德
Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
一向乐意加入你的手淫幻想
Come on Katee.
别这样嘛 凯蒂
Don't make it sound so cheap.
何必说得这么低俗呢
I'm sorry fiddling with yourself in the bathtub
抱歉 在浴缸里自欺欺人
is a real class act.
确实是出类拔萃的行为
Thank you.
谢谢
So shall we get started
我们可以开始了吗
Sure.
当然
But can I ask you a question first
但我能先问你个问题吗
Do you want to play Cylon and colonist
你想扮演赛昂人和殖民者吗
No.
I want to know why you're playing make believe with me
我很奇怪 你明明可以和真人约会
when you could be out with a real woman tonight.
却在这里和我玩性幻想游戏
You mean Bernadette
你是指伯纳黛特吗
No I mean Princess Leia.
不 我是指莱娅公主(星战人物 路克·天行者的双胞胎妹妹)
Of course I mean Bernadette.
我当然指的是伯纳黛特
She's a wonderful girl and she really likes you.
她是个很好的女孩儿 真的喜欢你
I know but she's not you.
我知道 但她不是你
I'm not me.
我又不是真实的
The real me is in Beverly Hills
真正的我现正在比弗利山庄
Going out with a tall handsome rich guy.
和某个英俊高大的有钱人约会呢
Really Tall
真的吗 很高大吗
Six four. Ouch.
-一米九三呢 -哇哦
The point is you've got a wonderful girl in your life
问题在于 你遇到了一个好女孩
And you're ignoring her in order to spend your nights
但却宁愿整晚在浴缸里对着虚拟影像
in the bathtub with a mental image and a wash cloth.
和浴巾性幻想 也不去理她
Howard
霍华德
What are you doing in there
你到底在里面干嘛
I'm taking a bath
我在洗澡
I hope that's all you're doing
你可别做啥其他猥琐的事
We share that tub
那浴缸我也要用
Don't remind me
别提醒我
Oh man.
老天
All soaped up and no place to go.
都是泡泡 没有我子孙的容身之地了
How ya doin' buddy
哥们儿 你还好吧
I was humiliated on national radio.
我在国家电台上被当众羞辱
How do you think I'm doing
能好受才怪
Come on it wasn't that bad.
拜托 没这么夸张吧
What do you want
你们来干嘛
munchkin voice We represent the Lollipop Guild
(绿野仙踪中的麦琪肯人欢迎多萝西)
and we want you.
我们是棒棒糖团队 欢迎你的到来
Okay so Kripke played a joke on you.
好啊 克瑞普克捉弄了你一下
It wasn't funny.
不好笑
I thought it was funny. Raj.
-我觉得很好笑 -拉杰
You laughed.
你也笑了啊
Did you laugh
你笑了吗
I fell on the floor.
我笑得滚到地板上了
All right he got you.
好吧 这次是他赢了
You can get him back.
你可以以牙还牙嘛
I refuse to sink to his level.
我才不要堕落到他那种水准
You can't sink. With all that helium in you
你落不了 体内充满了氦气
you're lucky you don't float away.
遇水不飘走就算你走运啦
Are you really admitting defeat
你当真认栽了吗
I never admit defeat.
我从不认栽
Good.
很好
However on an unrelated topic
但是 从另一个方面讲
I am never getting out of this bed again.
我再也抬不起头做人了
What if you could make Kripke
那何不这样 你设法捉弄克瑞普克
look even sillier than he made you look
让他看起来比你更蠢
I don't think that's possible dude.
我觉得这不可能 老兄
You're not helping.
你尽说些丧气话
I didn't come to help I came to mock.
我本就不是来说好话 我是来吐糟的
Sheldon what you need to do is figure out a way
谢尔顿 你现在得好好想想
to exact vengeance on Kripke like uh
到底怎么报复克瑞普克
like how the Joker got back at Batman for putting him
好比蝙蝠侠把疯子罪犯小丑扔进了
in the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.
亚克汗疯人院 事后他不是越狱了吗
That's true. He didn't just stay there and talk about
是啊 他不光是待在里面对其他
His feelings with the other psychotic villains.
精神病恶棍大吐苦水
He he broke out and poisoned Gotham's water supply.
还越狱了 还对哥谭市的供水系统投毒
Well...
好吧
I suppose I could poison Kripke. No
-那我该给克瑞普克下毒 -不
No. It's a simple matter.
不 这其实很简单
There are several toxic chemicals
有那么几种有毒化学物
that'd be untraceable in an autopsy.
尸检是查不出来的
Okay uh that's the spirit
你抓到了要领
but um let's dial it back
但手段可以温柔点
to a non lethal form of vengeance.
不要置人于死地
How about we whoopee cushion on his office chair
这样 在他的办公室椅子上弄个放屁垫
He'll sit down it'll sound like
他一坐下 听起来就像是有胃气胀
he's flatulent even though he's not.
尽管他不是真有胃气胀
Let's keep thinking.
还是再想想吧
Oh gee you're too late.
老兄 你可来晚了
Scarlett Johansson and Wonder Woman were just in here
斯嘉丽·乔纳森和神奇女侠
trolling around for neurotic little weasels.
刚在这里轮番歌颂神经质和胆小鬼呢
I came to talk to Bernadette. She's working today right
我来找伯纳黛特 她今天上班吗
Yes but I don't think she wants to see you.
是啊 但我觉得她不想见你
Why not
为啥
Come on Howard. You hurt her feelings
得了 霍华德 你伤害了她
by not calling her all week.
一个星期都不给人家电话
Plus I've kind of been talkin' some smack about ya.
加上我还说了你不少坏话
Hello Howard.
好啊 霍华德
Wait Bernadette I need to talk to you.
等下 伯纳黛特 我有话对你说
I can't now I'm working.
现在不成 我在工作呢
This will only take a second.
就一会儿
You asked me to think about where
你之前让我好好考虑
our relationship was going and I did.
我们之间的关系 好吧我想过了
Bernadette
伯纳黛特
Will you marry me
你愿意嫁给我吗
Is this more comedy that I don't understand
我不明白 这算是玩笑吗
No. I'm serious.
不 我是认真的
I'm never going to find another girl like you
你是我生命中的唯一
who likes me and is you know real.
重要的是 你是真心喜欢我
So this isn't a joke
这不是开玩笑吗
No. Then you're insane.
-不是 -那你铁定疯了
I prefer to think of myself as quirky.
我觉得自己这是突施奇招
Howard we've only been on three dates.
霍华德 我们只约会了三次
We haven't even had sex yet.
甚至还没上过床
Fair enough.
你说得对
When's your break
你什么时候下班
Don't you just hate when this happens
好事将成 你们嫉妒我了不是
All right how's this for revenge
好了 用这个来复仇如何
A solution of hydrogen peroxide
一剂过氧化氢[双氧水]
and one of saturated potassium iodide.
加上一剂饱和碘化钾
What's this
这又是什么
Mountain Dew.
山露汽水[碳酸饮料]
Ahh refreshing.
啊 真是提神醒脑
We're going to combine these chemicals with ordinary dish soap
然后将这两样化学制剂 与普通洗碗剂结合
creating a little exothermic release of oxygen.
就会放热 释放出氧
Foamy vengeance.
泡沫复仇记
Yes exactly.
完全正确
This is brilliant Sheldon.
谢尔顿 这招实在是高
How are we going to deploy it in Kripke's office
但你怎么布置到克瑞普克的办公室
Already taken care of.
早就布置好了
Observe.
注意看
This is a live shot of Kripke's lab via a mini webcam
通过迷你摄像头拍摄到的克瑞普克实验室实况
I was able to install thanks to a dollar bill
拜我偷塞到看门人衬衫口袋里的美钞所赐
discreetly placed in the night janitor's shirt pocket.
我才能装了这个迷你摄像头
At the same time
与此同时
I also secured large quantities of these chemicals
还将大量这样的化学制剂
above the tiles in the drop ceiling.
放到了他的天花板顶上
Oh Sheldon
哦 谢尔顿
you remind me of a young Lex Luthor.
你让我想起年轻时的莱克斯·卢瑟[后成为超人的死敌]
You flatter me sir.
您太过奖了 先生
Let me guess motion sensors Yes.
-我猜猜 带运动感应器的 -是的
The reaction will be triggered
一旦克瑞普克走到屋子中间
when Kripke reaches the center of the room.
感应器就会触发
Mwah ha ha.
木哈哈
I gotta say I am really impressed.
我不得不承认 我很佩服你
This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even.
这绝对是谢尔顿式的复仇方式
It may be low tech
这招或许技术含量不高
but I still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity.
但我还是坚持认为 放屁坐垫自有其喜剧效应
Here comes Kripke
克瑞普克来了
Who is that with him
跟他一起的是谁
I believe that's the president of the university.
我想那是我们大学的校长
And the board of directors.Abort Abort
还有理事会成员 快中止 中止
There is no "abort."
没有中止程序
How could you not put in an "abort "
你怎么能不设中止程序
I made a boo boo all right
我疏忽了 好了吧
I think the board will really appreciate
塞伯特校长 相信理事会将很欣慰地看到
how well we're using that NSA grant President Seibert.
我们将国安局的拨款运用得如此之好
Right here we have a micro controlled plasma...
这里是我们的微电脑控制的等离子...
Wow. Looks like the Ganges on laundry day.
看上去就像洗衣日那天的恒河
At least they don't know it was you.
至少他们不知道是你干的
Hello Kripke.
你好 克瑞普克
This classic prank comes to you
你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧
from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.
来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿·库珀
If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face
如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸
this video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.
这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTube
Oh and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali
并感谢莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德和拉杰·库萨帕里
for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.
感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励
Well I'm going back to India.What's your plan
我计划逃回印度去 你呢
Hey here's your tip from table seven.
给 7号桌给的小费
Oh thanks.
谢谢
Testing. Check.Check two.
麦克风测试 再次测试
Oh now what
这回又怎么了
You want me to throw him out
想让我扔他出去吗
No that's okay.
不用 没事的
Are you sure He's small.
你确定 他个子那么小
I bet I can get a nice tight spiral on him.
我打赌我肯定能给他来个漂亮的背摔
I want to dedicate this number
这一曲 我想献给
to a great gal who I've done wrong.
一位被我伤害了的好姑娘
Bernadette
伯纳黛特[曲调来自The Four Tops乐队的《Bernadette》]
I am so sorry for
我感到非常抱歉
Trying to propose to you
因我向你求婚之事
Bernadette
伯纳黛特
You found it creepy
你觉得我行事疯狂
But that's just the kind of thing I do
但那就是我的风格
I know now it was too soon to talk of love
我知道现在说爱还太早
It was just a crazy idea that came to me in my tub
那只是我泡澡时突发的奇想
But Bernadette give me one more chance
但伯纳黛特 请再给我一次机会
Sweet Bernadette
亲爱的伯纳黛特
I'll get the hang of this thing
我保证很快找到窍门
They call romance Sweet Bernadette
找到浪漫的窍门 亲爱的伯纳黛特
I dream to once again
我梦想着能够再一次
Kiss your lips Sweet Bernadette
吻上你的双唇 亲爱的伯纳黛特
Sincerely yours
您的裙下之臣
Howard Wolowitz
霍华德·沃罗威茨
Bernadette...
伯纳黛特
Oh I am so sorry. Are you kidding
-实在听不下去了 -你开什么玩笑
That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.
那是别人为我所做的 最浪漫的事
Bernadette Thank you Cheesecake Factory
伯纳黛特 谢谢芝士蛋糕工厂
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